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File 165776614520.png - (337.02KB , 1000x1000 , 143.png )
1038066 No. 1038066 ID: 629f2e hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

A mystery/horror quest about children uncovering the horrifying mysteries surrounding their small town.

THREAD 1: https://questden.org/kusaba/quest/res/1010078.html
THREAD 2: https://questden.org/kusaba/questarch/res/1019132.html
THREAD 3A: https://questden.org/kusaba/quest/res/1038059.html
WIKI: https://questden.org/wiki/Perpetuity


[Monday, Two and a Half Years Ago]
187 posts and 86 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051351 ID: 15c72a

If Dr. Stein isn't your real dad, that would mean that your real mother shouldn't be here. She's somewhere else!
There's no reason to be scared of that door, Franklin.
No. 1051353 ID: 8483cf

Go for the door!
No. 1051356 ID: e51896

Well, I can think of a few ideas.

maybe either ask Lilian when those records were dated, then head to the library to check for any newspapers around that date and check the obituaries for any kids that died that might look or sound familiar to you

check the graveyard for any tombstones with familiar names that might be your own.

or maybe... this might sound crazy but... what if you asked doctor dad himself? If we do this, it's probably going to take very careful ways of wording things in order for doctor dad to tell us some information... and without getting in trouble. But I have this feeling that it is possible. This option can give us more information about your past, and Graduation. But like I said, getting Doctor Dad to spill the beans I think will be tricky, but I do not think it'll be impossible. Like I said, he probably kept things secret from you because he was worried about how you'd react, but you seemed to have reacted fine to what Lilian told you about your revival.

those are the only three ideas I have so far. I'm Leaning towards talking to your dad personally because I think you'll be able to handle it, but I Might think of more ideas later.


Hey Franklin, also, I just realized. This means you have 2 BIRTHDAYS each year!
No. 1051357 ID: e51896

And I'm going to say, lets not visit mom right now, even if Temmie told us to. I really don't think Franklin is ready for that until he gets more information. His fear level is pretty high right now after all.
No. 1051384 ID: 22eda9

>Dr. Franklin Stein and Franklin Stein Jr.
Okay, I gotta give this one to Lemmy, that's pretty culturally significant for us as well, to an amusing degree.

So, if I'm being perfectly honest, I do feel like you're pretty close to figuring everything out- however, the fortune you received more or less stated as much that you wouldn't have enough time to figure it all out. I don't know if you'll have more time later when this is all over, but it feels like you have enough to work off of, potentially even without us.

See if you can nab a notebook and some paper for organizing your thoughts for the future, about yourself, and so on. I'm sure it'll help you a lot when we're gone.

The other group just reached the Abandoned Plant (hopefully unseen by Aiden) - if that turns out to be relevant to Graduation, it might be redundant to look for more now. If not though, then you guys will have to find a new lead somehow.

>What We Want?
I don't know about the others, but what I hope for you guys in Cattenom is a combination of Safety and Growth. What that means for everyone is a little different.
Sure, the Graduation thing is... worrying, but to me, that's personally secondary.

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1041125 No. 1041125 ID: 262964 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts]

The night is cast like a net, the air is still, and yet you are here. All alone. Lost on some Forgotten Road.
77 posts and 17 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051378 ID: 26634e
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You lay there stunned, awaiting a cruel death that had not come to pass. The truck made its way back onto the road and carried on as if little had just transpired. Something is definitely trying to kill you, you conclude.

The roadsign you saw is nearby. Your trip reached a milestone...
No. 1051379 ID: 26634e
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Your heart beats dully in your chest when you finally bring yourself before the road phone
No. 1051380 ID: e51896

time to dial that phone number we got from that crow
No. 1051381 ID: b01382

What the actual fuck? Yeah, go for the phone, not like we can do much else.
No. 1051383 ID: d139e2

First, have a smoke.

That was messed up

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1044452 No. 1044452 ID: ab70bc hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts]

Early autumn is pleasant in Cedar Ridge. Summer's hottest days are behind you and the shade of the Douglas fir trees that blanket the town keep the underbrush cool.

North of the lake that divides the town are sets of woods. Interrupted only by mud roads and storm drains that rarely see use outside of the rainy season. This grove is only a mile from the town's one high school. Frequented by teens and alcoholics alike for bonfire parties that leaves the smell of ash in the air. This far east into Oregon the breeze is warm and sluggish, trapped in by mountain ranges.

From where you stand you can hear when the occasional truck passes through Cedar Ridge's main road. Barely. It helps you keep your facing when you're unsure which way is home.

You are in the north in the outskirts of town.
85 posts and 23 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051371 ID: e5709d

Be glad he didn't take your boobs.
Now get to a hospital before the infection takes your hand.
No. 1051372 ID: fb2164

Obtain Possum, feed banana, make fren.
No. 1051373 ID: 8483cf

Feed the possum! It's clearly hungry.
No. 1051375 ID: e7c7d3

Capture them. Lunge and tackle if you have too
No. 1051376 ID: e51896

careful, it might have rabies. just leave it alone with the sandwich...

wait, it's a possum, is it playing dead?

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1043457 No. 1043457 ID: 5499f4 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

Tension: a balance maintained between opposing forces or elements

Written by EDMANGO and illustrated by TIPPLER

DISCUSSION: https://questden.org/kusaba/questdis/res/135736.html
EDMANGO'S PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/Edmango
TIPPLER'S PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tippler

EDMANGO NOTE: This quest will likely contain 18+ like violence, and light sexual content.

667 posts and 136 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051334 ID: 15c72a

Evolving in captivity means it probably evolved something that will allow it to escape. I think we'd better do that X-RAY as soon as the mission is over.

Because other areas can be evacuated much faster. Also I wanna see a fish kaiju.
No. 1051341 ID: 395a24

B. Whatever kaiju invades, they mostly come from the sea, whether it be flying, or land.

And while we fight a sea kaiju, If we see any flying kaiju or land kaiju going a certain direction, we'll alert the guards. To go over there.

That said, 2. Have them stay. That way, if any other district gets attacked, the guards will be ready to head over there.
No. 1051354 ID: 8483cf

No. 1051363 ID: 99ca7b


Lets go fishing, boys.
No. 1051365 ID: e5709d

F1 The Kaiju are staging a jailbreak! Use your home field advantage and defend your lair!

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1051343 No. 1051343 ID: 33f0ce hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]

“…So, why are we making this again?” The green stickman said to, honestly no one in particular. Just a habit of thinking out loud. Something he should probably get rid of if he’s now going to be working here.

The black stockmen adjacent to him lets out a short, but extremely exasperated sigh, the type you do after getting asked the same question for the four-hundredth time (even though this is the first time being asked) “It doesn’t have a purpose-at least not yet anyways.” He continues to write on his board. Noting down subject’s vitals (stable), mental action (None so fair(same as yesterday)), any changes in body (also none(it appears the subject has reached “maturity”)) and…dick size…he once again leaves that part blank.

“You think it’s a …you know?” He replies before black even has a chance to answer, “A living sex toy?”

The mere thought stings black’s mind, “No. it is not a “living sex toy”. It is probably going to be some soldier or slave race they’re making.” He talked like a stern parent denying a kid wanting to go to McDonalds.

Green is quite a bit taken back by this response, “You…you actually want them to be something like that?”

Black once again sighs for the same reason in somehow more exasperated tone, “Yes, yes I do.” He sounds even more annoyed than before, “Because if you’d just used your brain for one second, you’ll realize that we’re SCIENTISTS! Not some…some over glorified sex sells men!”

“I know I know! I was just saying it’s a little weird how there’s no other protective measures! I mean, no turrets, lock down doors, not even harder glas-“

“No you don’t know!” Black is just actively yelling at Green now. Green definitely didn’t deserve this-and Black knows. He’s just venting at him because of all the mouths and late nights and failures and miscommunications thAT WOULD
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No. 1051358 ID: 5d9787

That sound a bit fucked up and the premisse isn't entirely clear. I presume those two are introducing the protagonist we are choosing or green guy will become another specie.

>BIRD because let's talk about pseudo-penis.
Firstly the vast majority of aves don't have one. It's all cloaca rubbing against cloaca for the most part.
Among the species that have, there are a few different organs that are described as a pseudo-penis. One of those, for example, is and inversion of the genitalia present in both the male and female, the male use his during mating to push the female pseudo-penis inside her.
The pseudo-penis you must be thinking is the one from the ratites like emus and ostriches. It's internal, conical, long and pink.
This kind of genitalia work different from a penis despite the similarities. It is able to regenerate, and in fact it might fall on it's own and grow back. The erection is accomplished by pumping fluid like a penis, but unlike a penis the fluid is not blood. It doesn't have an internal duck to pump sperm inside the female, it instead guide the sperm externally, meaning the erection only start after the ejaculation.
So you got a long tentacle like member covered with tick cum that will become fully erected inside the partner, but by that point the rubbing is already over. How would it feel? No idea.
No. 1051360 ID: de253f

No. 1051364 ID: e5709d

... This had better be a continuation of the Stick Death series.

>Cat Bomb
You somehow created an exploding cat. That explodes into clones. Which can also micro-explode.
Pros: Explodes into kittens, can control any cat clone
Cons: Extremely volatile, needs a steady diet of ammunition and/or explosive ordinance

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1048236 No. 1048236 ID: 681cb5 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

[Super NSFW]
May contain breeding, vore, transformation etc…

”Prurient Passage”
A Lascivious Labyrinth side story.

Wiki and previous threads: https://tezakia.net/wiki/Lascivious_Labyrinth
Discussion thread: https://tezakia.net/kusaba/questdis/res/134609.html#134609

Somewhere deep in the most tenebrous wilderness, far from civilization and decency, it is said that a grand temple of the demi-god Wjares lays hidden. In those ancient rumor-shadowed halls, acts of unbridled hedonism and profane rituals were indulged in wild abandon, all to please the demi-god the structure was dedicated too. It is a place where instinct and impulse is acted upon without care.

There are also myths about a great treasure, hidden in the deepest catacombs, far below the surface, forever watched over by mighty guardians and fiendish traps. The corridors are said to twist and turn with a serpent-like suggestion, their writhing path hiding many dangers and foes, but if you stay vigilant they will lead you to your greatest desire. Many before you have been seduced by the myth and been enthralled by the ravenous desire…

…Of the Lascivious Labyrinth… err… I mean “Of the Prurient Passage”! …yeah, that’s better.

…no, Volek, I didn’t steal this idea from Ptamet! I swear on my name Wjares that this has nothing to do with her labyrinth, brother. 
123 posts and 29 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051316 ID: fe2739

Any chance you can throw your voice down the room, along with something to make a clatter? Getting her to fumble her light and chase after "you" might let you quietly slip back around behind her.
The plants won't recognize you, so don't give them a chance to; move out of it, especially before she can draw her wand, because that thing probably doesn't like light, and she's about to fuck up both of your days.
If things get worse, hitting the glowy thing is probably either a very good, or very bad idea.

And there was no pressure plate, as that was triggered before you arrived.
No. 1051321 ID: a7a180

Step closer to and behind the large thing and stay low as the lioness grabs her flashlight. Maybe it'll be more attracted to the light.
No. 1051322 ID: c11296

You should throw something hard at that shiny thing.
No. 1051359 ID: fec07f

>you can feel the vines move around you a bit… as if caressing you to the beat of the song.
If we can't charm the lioness with music perhaps we can charm the plant beast? An ally would be relly helpful right about now
No. 1051362 ID: 2a82d3

>Let me find my light wand…
Remember the riddle? You should probably tackle her before she lights up the place, or run past her (if uou can) as she sets off the "trap".

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1038059 No. 1038059 ID: 629f2e hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

A mystery/horror quest about children uncovering the horrifying mysteries surrounding their small town.

THREAD 1: https://questden.org/kusaba/quest/res/1010078.html
THREAD 2: https://questden.org/kusaba/questarch/res/1019132.html
THREAD 3B: https://questden.org/kusaba/quest/res/1038066.html
WIKI: https://questden.org/wiki/Perpetuity


And again, you see it all play out, reliving the mistakes exactly as you’d made them on that day. The performance of a tragedy...
104 posts and 35 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051264 ID: 629f2e
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Soon enough, there’s a break in the trees ahead of you. The end of these woods. You’d made it through without any major incident thankfully.

You weren’t certain what would be awaiting you when you got past the treeline. Your hope was that it would be the plant of course, but you didn’t actually expect such a thing. It felt a little too convenient that you wouldn’t have to search around at all.

And yet, the very moment you break from the trees and step onto blacktop... There it is.

Roger: “Whoa...”

He said it better than you could.

There were multiple towering structures... You hadn’t expected that.

Your first instinct is to wonder which might be the power plant. It’s a foolish thought. Together, all of this was the Cattenom Nuclear Power Plant.

The buildings were Massive, taller than any you’d ever entered; and the designs were Foreign, unlike any you’d ever seen in town. The parking lot stretched out wide, with room to house more cars than you’d ever seen in your life. It felt like you had stumbled into another world.
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No. 1051273 ID: e51896

A. I don't think Roger is comfortable enough with us yet, and if someone does come down the road, they'll be more likely to see us if there is two people watching instead of one. Plus, we're not as fast as roger if we have to run, raising the chances of getting spotted. And I don't think Clive is social enough to make things less awkward with Roger. Let Roger become more comfortable with us through our actions during this mission instead of speaking with him. Clive isn't comfortable enough to be social anyways, let alone someone who is afraid of him. Let him practice with Enid for awhile first.

Also, trying to talk Bec into staying with us might be more important. She did seem shaken by the parents hiding something big from her, so she might be more willing to help get to the bottom of things.
No. 1051275 ID: e51896

To add on, we also promised to fact check with Bec after she finished speaking to Roger. We can do that while we help her with the door. I have a feeling it's going to be helpful if she hears both sides of the story of what happened.
No. 1051315 ID: 22eda9

I think A is the right choice too.
While I totally misread something earlier, it did still lead me to a relevant line of thought however-
If we see anything in there that's... well, visually displeasing/hard to look at, I suppose, we can warn the others in advance. Namely Enid.

While a part of me does want Clive to work things out with Roger, the biggest problem seems to be a matter of "What do I even say?" followed by "He's made himself clear, why bother?" - which isn't really helping things.

"...Draw anything cool lately?"
That doesn't really sound like Clive, but... what do I know?
I wonder if Clive has any interest in art.
No. 1051355 ID: 8483cf

I highly doubt Clive is ready to make up with Roger, after how badly he messed up with Enid. Let's not push it.

A. Not just because I suggested something door-related in thread 3B, or because doors are fascinating in general, but because it's the right thing to do.

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1049788 No. 1049788 ID: 9ea24b hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

Gen 1 thru 3 mainline Pokemon and mystery dungeon red rescue team nostalgia quest. Potentially NSFW.

Discussion: https://questden.org/kusaba/questdis/res/135483.html
393 posts and 41 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051339 ID: bbb04b

C: "I'm just gonna say it's literally impossible to reunite me with my trainer and leave it at that for now. I've picked up a lot of strategy and trivia, though; it's possible your trainer was holding out for you to learn Giga-Drain at Lv. 45, which is admittedly a pretty wicked move. Even if that is the case, though, I know for a fact you can brute-force learning a new move if you use the right approach and keep at it."

Ah, misleadingly technical truths that'd make a Fairy type blush (if they were around in this generation). Maybe we can be more forthright once we get to know them well enough to determine whether their sour opinion extends to all humans or not.
No. 1051342 ID: e13b1d

Should we tell her about this?
No. 1051349 ID: 5d9787

If she agree with her trainer after understanding the reason behind that coice she can't evolve now. She need to be told so she can make an informed decision.

Spheal case is much more concerning than running away after a disagreement. Her family and friends were killed and skinned, that is a nightmare scenario I wouldn't expect in a pokemon story.
This is much more serious than Team Rocket Slowpoke tails incident. We should find a way to informe that ambitious kid about this criminal group.
No. 1051350 ID: e13b1d

That's a good idea. We could get Smeargle's help to make a sign and put it up in one of his known hunting grounds.
No. 1051352 ID: ba605b


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1050471 No. 1050471 ID: de253f hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts]

There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
64 posts and 13 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051296 ID: de253f
File 167052351920.png - (6.71KB , 600x600 , trouble.png )

>Stay calm

Maintaining your cool is not the greater force in comparison to your blistering chagrin by a wide margin, but you know better than to fly off the handle over this activity you will undoubtedly have to repeat numerous times today. It does no favors to reduce your rapidly-building stress right now, though.

>Grab the knob

Your quivering hand reaches out and wraps itself around the doorknob. You're incredibly reluctant to do anything with it, owing to the fact that could end up barring you from entry - or rather exit - even harder. It takes a while before you can muster up the courage to start moving it. But the floodgate opened upon your mind of various techniques with which to move it proves too much to bear, and instead of any coherent engagement, you just kind of aimlessly jiggle it in random directions.

That certainly doesn't stop you from trying a number of methods. You push it in, pull it out, tug it left and right, and apply judicious amounts of body weight against as many sections of the door itself you think might reasonably give way depending on the position of the knob. The burgeoning rancor of your failed attempts is disrupted by Amanda calling out a ways behind you.

AMANDA: "Are you alright? You've been screwing with the doorknob for 10 minutes straight."

>"I forgot how doors work. Help."
>Ignore her and continue stubbornness
>Faceplant into door from critical humiliation
>"Please kill me."
No. 1051298 ID: b01382

>"I forgot how doors work. Help."
No. 1051301 ID: 663c95

Yup. Or possibly, "Why have you installed a fiendish puzzle on your door?"
No. 1051335 ID: dee951

>"I forgot how doors work. Help."

No. 1051337 ID: 15c72a

>"I forgot how doors work. Help."

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1047117 No. 1047117 ID: 08229c hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

Previous Threads: https://questden.org/wiki/Audit_Quest

My name is Mary.

I own a dungeon.

Not by choice, mind you. I was forced into this when the previous owner placed a curse on me after I tried to audit him. Now I'm the ruler of this place until.... Well, for the foreseeable future.

But I'm trying to make the most of it while I'm here.
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No. 1051289 ID: 298597

Hey Larro. Are you planning on making another Christmas chapter since you're active now and it's coming soon?
No. 1051307 ID: 08229c

It's only been like a month in quest! Also there's a discussion thread if you have questions for me or in character questions
No. 1051309 ID: 708905

We could make it so they were introduced to the area to slow the corruption but are ultimately just doing their own thing
No. 1051331 ID: 298597

I thought that the lag creatures were either on the side of Chaos, or just kinda there. Since we did have the lag mites working alongside Gazer in her boss fight.
No. 1051332 ID: 7397c3

Regular lag mites are just as sentient as any other bug, I'd say. The Time Mage's motivations might include them, but they're not a faction in and of themselves.

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1051109 No. 1051109 ID: f8a7f3 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]



Welcome to the Splinter Analysis Wizard (SAW), [USER].
Playback of the recorded memory will begin soon.
Would you like assistance?

Operation reminder:
When probing the splinter with questions, keep it short and direct. The more connected a splinter is to the question, the more likely it is for the SAW to simulate accurate memory approximations. It is recommended that you only ask one question at a time.



2 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051159 ID: 9a2966

If you're here to commend, not criticize, then you could drop the air of military authority for a minute and just summarize the latest feedback, quick and to the point.

Unless it is important that air be maintained in which case one could still try to hurry it up by skipping the more rote and regular stuff you don't think there'll be any issues answering or receiving feedback on.

What were those rumors now again?

... and, say, what sort of clone mix and which generation is Grayblood here?
No. 1051317 ID: 1015ea
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>What were those rumors now again?
They’re always something seemingly benign, but I know how these things play out. Starts out small, becomes a big problem later. I’d step in, but my intervention doesn’t always make things better.

>If you're here to commend, not criticize, then you could drop the air of military authority for a minute and just summarize the latest feedback, quick and to the point.
Standards are standards. I can’t go out of my way to give her preferential treatment - not past what I’ve already been doing for her anyway.

>One could still try to hurry it up by skipping the more rote and regular stuff you don't think there'll be any issues answering or receiving feedback on.
That’s exactly what I had in mind. Grayblood is already quite capable and I’d be doing her a disservice keeping her here too long. Not that I can bring it up directly to her anyway. She was never one for special treatment.

>What sort of clone mix and which generation is Grayblood here?

Gray’s a relatively new generation - she’s over two years old currently. You can see the Rhappor genes in her like you can see the Asliann genes in me, but whatever mix they’ve got going on there, she really embodies the idea that the Trace Clones aren’t quite like any of the species any more.
I suppose what with the generation they put out last year, where they started trying to splice in the genes of animals into the clones, they’re much more open to experimentation now. Not that such experimentation has led to good results - I feel like they’re just bringing some very unfortunate people into existence.

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No. 1051318 ID: 1015ea
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Back on the range, huh. I’ve heard stories from Patz and Leeza about their days shooting targets in the mainland. Here, there’s a certain… stuffiness to the air, given that it’s indoors. Can’t say I ever really looked forward to the range like the others - I’d much rather be making the most of my time with vehicles instead.

In truth, I don’t think Grayblood’s performance needed an early evaluation. But the higher ups asked as much.
I ran through the rote lines in my head -
“Quarterly evaluations are crucial for maintaining morale and performance amongst comrades”, it went.
Not so much when it’s a solo evaluation conducted way before any of the others can square themselves away.

As I walked by Grayblood, her aim’s a little off. Maybe it’s the time pressure.
Even if her friend’s sick, I’m not going to cut her any slack - I’ve still got a role to perform, even if it stretches the definitions of my duty a little.
“If you’re trying to rush it because of your friend, don’t. Her condition is stable enough to last a while yet.”

…I don’t think my reassurances are helping much, judging from that dark look on her face.
Changing the topic.

"Do you see those targets over there, Grayblood?"
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No. 1051319 ID: 1015ea
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“No, that’ll be all for today.”

“Permission to leave, sir?”

I sigh. “Dismissed. Go, see your friend.”

And there she goes.
…I know the others are worried, but…
I don’t think she’s the supposed Rogue they’re worried about. They’re putting undue stress on the girl all because of that bloody rumor.
I only hope that she’s ready for the troubles ahead of her.
No. 1051323 ID: 9a2966

>Ready for the troubles ahead of her
Those being?

>bloody rogue
Why would anyone be Rogue - and why did you and whomever else is on top of this expect a basic performance evaluation to aid in exposing them as such? Normally one would quietly surveil people under suspicion, no? Like... through the SAI.

...were you actually ordered to put her through evaulation to keep her busy and away for a bit?

>Grayblood's friend
Who were - or soon to were - they now again? Is it the daughter of that project lead, or another clone?

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1039664 No. 1039664 ID: d63ea8 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

:unknowntalk: “You had one job! ONE JOB ASSHOLE!”
:unknowntalk: “Get off my back Gwen! I said sorry- shit!
:unknowntalk: “No! Don’t give me that! I told you to check the counter and you fucking didn’t!
:alextalk: “Hey guys, can you keep it down? There might still be some zeds around.
:unknowntalk: “Yeah Gwen.”
:unknowntalk: “Fuck you Brett. Do you need help up the stairs Alex?”
:alextalk: “I’m okay, I just need to sit down.”

:unknowntalk: “Pass me the keys Lisa…”
:unknowntalk: “Here.”

608 posts and 301 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051258 ID: 6bbfe4

Honestly he seemed to handle this stuff well enough the last time he fell asleep.
I'd say let's do it.
No. 1051278 ID: 15c72a

To Assistant: We got a response from Head of Research via a different channel, thanks. Who has control of Alex's arm right now?

We should carry Alex up, let them see a bit of what we're trying to accomplish. It doesn't break the Tenets, so it's fine if the action is discovered.

((I think we need to decide who will be doing what. Someone needs to see Head of Archives, obviously. We could also go talk to Head of Research and perhaps help out with data interpretation or otherwise filling in the blanks. Someone could also try to explore Anarchy's territory and see what can be done to help. Lastly, someone could investigate AdminI and see if we can either extend an olive branch or sabotage its efforts... but trying to stay away could be a benefit too. I wish we knew what we could do to buy Anarchy more time... oh, I wonder if giving units stealth is actually a bad idea in that respect. Maybe we should start handing over... slightly inaccurate information. Or someone could actively sabotage the system...?))
No. 1051282 ID: a2d88b

((I agree. We definitely want Alex to join in the branches at some point, but the question is whether tonight is the right time -- for now I'll delay my vote too)).

Is it possible to pull Alex up with an added filter to fog it up? Like, make it more dreamy/trippy than initially planned (perhaps set it in an exotic locale). A filter to be removed on subsequent nights. I think my vote is "yes if this is possible, no otherwise".

My apologies to the Head of Science for my rudeness and pressure.
No. 1051290 ID: 87e33c

((If we're able to do this, give Alex a trippy fog overlay to distort the information, so its way more dream like and will only be in the subconscious with key points appearing important but otherwise remain as mostly a dream I'm for this, but otherwise I stand by my post))
No. 1051308 ID: f2320a


Time for trippy dreams

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978305 No. 978305 ID: 2bd15b hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

chapter 1 https://tgchan.org/kusaba/quest/res/757996.html
chapter 2 https://tgchan.org/kusaba/quest/res/777113.html
Discussion thread https://tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/res/107070.htm
Chapter 4 https://tgchan.org/kusaba/quest/res/929115.html
Draw thread, where you can ask me to draw certain things

wiki https://tgchan.org/wiki/Root_and_Branches
974 posts and 229 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1050249 ID: 5f4030

Word to your mother, brother-fucker
*leaps up and roundhouse kicks Delilah to knock her out*

… Road house.
No. 1050849 ID: e51896

*now that there is confirmation that chameleon was chosen, Fortune can start the next part of the plan and cause a distraction so people nearby can focus on Rosemary's condition and so scarred can escape with Delilah*

You're going to need to take Rosemary to somebody to look at, with her being in this state, it might mean trouble, even if she tried to hurt you. she is highly respected around here apparently.

I'd say, bring her to security, Black Licorice. and Maya,
No. 1051112 ID: fce62b

This is because,
Another is wearing her skin.
She is but a puppet.
Hollow flesh.

Flee this place.
Lest you be hollowed out,
And filled with nothing.

No. 1051303 ID: c7f601
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No. 1051305 ID: d87c35

Oh hell! I was only able to kill Stitch after he was already weakened after a fight with Garm! And only then it was because we used explosive rounds to pierce the steel in his chest! We gotta get out of here. Toothpick, how wide is the ledge out the window? It won't be easy trying to shimmy across with her if I have to carry her. I'll look around here, maybe I can find some kind of rope or something I can use to tie her to us that way we can climb out of here.

Pandora help me look, all we have on us is we a belt and a tie and that might help but I'd like something more sturdy if we can.

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1050419 No. 1050419 ID: f57349 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]

Dimensional portal winks out. Thunderclap of unraveling tidal force shatters the surrounding stone wall. You're stranded in a cavernous space full of ancient, semi-functional machinery. Can you find another way home?

Core of character creation is an adjective, a noun, and a verb.

Noun options:
Arkus (leader)
Delve (explorer)
Jack (rogue)
Glaive (fighter)
Nano (mage)
Wright (builder)

For adjective and verb, describe what you want to be and do, I'll compile a short list of the relevant options.
Once chargen is done, any consequential IC action should include dice 20d20 in the e-mail field.
Discussion: https://discord.gg/ZuGRZKD Tip jar: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4587981
31 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051267 ID: 04697a

rolled 12, 10, 20, 13, 9, 14, 10, 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 15, 18, 8, 19, 2, 13, 3, 3 = 187

After a brief moment of deliberation, Misha heaves a sigh, nodding. "Alright alright."

She re-sheathes her dagger and emerges from behind DANI to approach the hurt goatman, along the way she spends a point of Intellect and Iotum on Right Tool for the Job to fashion an impromptu first-aid kit. She also makes sure to nab the patch of missing skin (that DANI presumably still has stuck to her hand) as she passes the AI.

Carefully holding up the makeshift medical tools and being as nonthreatening as possible, she'll scoot past the still-raised spears, then kneel down to examine and fix up the hurt margyr; antiseptic/anaesthetic gel and plasters to reattach and seal up the missing skin and soothe any other bumps or scrapes until the body can knit itself together. (2 trainings in healing + an asset from Right Tool)

The Wright's lack of bedside manner immediately resurfaces once she is done focusing on the task at hand, voice grumpy when she stands.
"Alright, boo-boos've been patched. Any further complaints; I'm gonna need to direct to yer mummy who should be able to do the requisite 'kissin it better'."
No. 1051280 ID: 6377a3

rolled 1, 20, 1, 14, 1, 20, 16, 5, 20, 8, 7, 16, 18, 15, 4, 16, 9, 18, 3, 1 = 213

With a clear sense of why DANI doesn't exactly mind them having weapons established, she will give the still holding their weapons people a sharp look and point to the ground, and afterwards go over to the happy couple, placing the spears near by, and go in to pick them off the ground and pull them and the blanket in two, only to pick up the reinforcing bar spears and attempt to non-consensually fashion the blanket halves into a sort of covering garment by wrapping the spears around their body like a pretzel to hold the blanket in place.
No. 1051287 ID: f57349

>rolled 1, 20, 1, 14, 1, 20
Process of separating and dressing the couple involves more torn-velcro noises and blood than expected, but otherwise achieves a swift and satisfactory result.

Apparent leader of the goat-people is outraged by this, howling and stabbing DANI though the back of the left knee. Core joint structure intact, but that's still five might damage, reduced to 2 by armor. The spearhead also slipped through the surrounding armored weave, overpenetrating far enough that it's now pinning her leg to the ground. Chief catches an elbow to the gut in response. He staggers away, disarmed and stunned.

>rolled 12, 10, 20
Turns out margyr crotch-parts involve more barbs than human equivalent, with a correspondingly slow and laborious procedure for safe disengagement, but femoral arteries are in approximately the same place. If there weren't a surgeon so close by, with just the right tools already in hand, one or both of the 'happy couple' likely would not have survived. Melaina manages to convey this information to the goat-people, positioning Misha as a benevolent force, balancing DANI's severity.

>rolled 17, 1
>No mushrooms coming up from behind, I hope?
Something did indeed follow you into the kite-shaped room. It's the size of two or three obese ele
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No. 1051297 ID: e5709d

rolled 10, 7, 1, 10, 9, 5, 4, 2, 8, 13, 19, 15, 5, 5, 5, 19, 3, 20, 2, 11 = 173

Ivori just finished coating her blade in a thin sheen of non-splattering sludge when the giant dough-fungus burst into the room she was in, forcing her to break concealment and run straight into the kite room.

Ivori quickly decides this encounter should have been evaded thirty seconds ago.
Ivori grabs Misha and escorts her to the left exit, giving it a quick scout for hazards before diving through and slamming the door behind them.
No. 1051300 ID: f57349

Ivori leaves the dark, kite-shaped room with the conveyor belt and the exultant mycelimancer, flees through the brightly lit semicircular "inspector's lounge" where the margyr and most of the other PCs (and some piles of potentially salvageable debris) are, then departs via the wider of the two available exits, perpendicular to the way she came in.

Unfortunately it's an open archway, there's no door to slam. After dashing down that hall, Ivori reaches a room maybe 15 meters square. Floating in the center of that room, roughly the size and height of a human head, is a hole in space. Flickering aura around it leaves the room dimly lit.

Two other possible exits from there. To the left, a spherical room is visible, like an enormous inside-out pearl, but the way is blocked by a transparent panel - difficulty 5 intellect task to open it nonviolently.

Directly on the opposite side of the hole in space (relative to where you came in), another hallway, with narrow-beam lights set into the walls every few meters around shin height and a distant whirring-rotor sort of noise echoing from the far end.

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1049539 No. 1049539 ID: 9272af hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]

Chapter 15
Adult content 18+

First thread: https://tgchan.org/kusaba/quest/res/860238.html
Wiki: https://tgchan.org/wiki/Moot_Point
Previous chapter: https://questden.org/kusaba/questarch/res/1013588.html
38 posts and 10 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1050575 ID: 83fb9f

Crazy fun, maybe!
No. 1051217 ID: 9272af
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“So you hope to restart the quicksilver machine?” Three Horns asks Casey as they watch Gabe make future plans for mechanical fun. “I hope you know what you’re doing.” 

“Between what we’ve learned and Mr. Graves’s knowledge of vampiric runes, we think we can operate it. He’s been a huge help to us so far.” 

“Mmm…” the kobold leader nods noncommittally, “I trust your judgement, but I don’t trust that machine. Everything left behind by the old masters brings nothing but ruin.”

“I’m not sure if I should be offended at that.” Graves comments. 

The lizard blinks and looks at Graves out of the corner of her eye, “I’ll be happy to be proven wrong. Shall I lead the way?” 
No. 1051260 ID: 4b0f55

These are times of change, Three Horns. This past year alone has been a wild experience for everyone, we imagine.
No. 1051279 ID: 15c72a

Perhaps we should take some precautions...
No. 1051293 ID: bceec2

Let's go take a look at the machine and hope we don't kill everyone by turning it on.

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984496 No. 984496 ID: 293539 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]


I hurt.

Perhaps I am not, in fact, an expert at drinking.

I've used myself ruthlessly; depleted coin, mana and substance in pursuit of ideas that seemed brilliant in the moment. Even by the feeble, hateful rays of the dawning Sun the cracks and blemishes emerge from the kindly night's soporific haze.
651 posts and 115 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051202 ID: e33fa7

Curse of Eggman: The subject suffers constant pressure to assume as near as they can to the shape of an egg. Their surface becomes more rigid, and their insides less.

Kitty!: The subject becomes a cat.

Hug Dependency: The subject must be hugged frequently. Hug deficiency results in progressive loss of sanity as the subject enters a maniacal hugging rampage, hugging all around them and never letting go. Extreme deprivation has the subject turn into a rubber-band.

Dinoclaws: The subjects fingers, toes, and similar digits become hard, rigid, curved, and scaled/feathered.

Doorway's Revenge: Space warps around the subject such that portals are just slightly too low for them.

Tongue Lashing: The subject's sense of taste becomes massively more sensitive.

Golemitis: The subject turns to stone with no loss of ability.

Brain the Size of a Planet: The subject gains whatever knowledge is required to make their current circumstances seem tedious.

Litterbug: The subject will always find packaged snack-food near-at-hand. The food will provide no satisfaction and be completely useless in all ways, and cease to exist shortly after losing attention. The subject will experience a mild compulsion to snack. The packaging is permanent and of poor quality, with a mild forgetfulness compulsion.

Lasereyes: Weak lasers shoot from the subject's eyes with no reprieve.

Suggestive eyebrows: The subjects eyebrows are subject to frequent involuntary spasms, usually in response to being talked to.
No. 1051274 ID: 5739b1

Curse of Polka dots: Subject is covered in bright purple and yellow polka dots
Curse of Imitation: Subject is compelled to copy both the action and appearance to the best of their ability of a random being within their sight.
Curse of Yelling: Subject can't help but yell whenever they are trying to talk
Curse of Brutal Honesty: Subject constantly says what is on their mind.
Curse of Dependency: Subject needs to stay in physical contact with another living creature at all times or their health rapidly deteriorates
No. 1051283 ID: c89155

Curse of deslyxia!
No. 1051284 ID: 36784c

Supporting these:
>Curse of Curse Reinforcement
>Curse of Dim Fate
>Curse of slippery fingers
and >>1051172
No. 1051292 ID: bceec2

>I'm not going to put up with this. I should leave and find something more productive to do with my evening.
If you don't want to deal with Alkaline's foolishness, you could get started on Olan's Commission.

Both the Curse of Curse Reinforcement >>1051160 and this one >>1051172 are fitting punishments for her recklessly eating all that stuff at once.

>Doorway's Revenge
>Suggestive eyebrows
These would be funny to have happen to her.

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1030186 No. 1030186 ID: 9b127b hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

This is a NSFW clothing damage adventure!
the quest will contain nudity and violence and possibly some sexual content
Lewd suggestions are encouraged but not required.

A single choice can shape the future, a single person can change the face of the world

This quest is funded by Patreon,
if you'd like to see more consider sending a few coins!

Previous Threads

184 posts and 28 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1050808 ID: 9b127b
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Garrin shakes his head'I'm afraid that's not possible, I need you here Ahtas'

'you do?' The mare smiles with exitement.

Garrin gives a nod'Indeed the Princess has lost most of her guards, and needs replacement companionship'

Tirzaea's smile fades replaced with confusion '...w-what?'

'as you are of fighting age your family's oath to the crown requires you to serve in the role of guardian.' Garrin explains.

Realization finally reaches the woman her voice cracks into a childish whine 'But I haven't been trained for such things, you couldn't expect me to bear arms could you?! My father said-'

Yiddle interrupts with a scowl'Be quite child! you are beholden to the knight captain, you better do has he says or it's the dungeons for you. forget anything your foolish father told you.' the old kobold then hobbles off.

'Y-Yes master Yiddler...' Tirzaea Ahtas seems on the verge of tears. but otherwise seems obediently awaiting instruction.
No. 1050812 ID: 629f2e

"Please calm yourself. My choice of words was intentional, in that the princess requires companionship. She's been separated from her friend, and might benefit from another female acquaintance. Certainly try to protect her if she's attacked, but your main purpose is to help her feel comfortable. Just... Be sociable."
No. 1050829 ID: 4cce43

I'm not asking you to bear arms, I'm asking yout to provide protection and companionship for your princess. Do your best within your capabilities, and you will be rewarded appropriately.
No. 1050861 ID: 322af8

Hopefully the only arms you will require are the two that are attached to your body. We just need to you be friends with the Princess and help keep a look out for trouble.
No. 1051203 ID: e5709d

"I don't think you understand how important this is. You are being assigned as a squire of Princess Reefa's retinue. This is the kind of career opportunity that, over a few decades, promotes you to the cushy position of Knight-Maiden of the Empress' Praetorian Guard. There are dukes who would murder their pets for this kind of privilege.

I'm offering this once-in-a-lifetime deal, because we have a situation. It may not seem like much, but it's classified, and all I can tell Master Yiddler is that if we screw up, a lot of people are going to die. Screaming. We need you specifically. Please help us, and please help yourself."

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1040516 No. 1040516 ID: 899c9f hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]


One small step for Sam, one giant leap for Formican-kind.
136 posts and 43 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1050776 ID: 15c72a

Well you're not exactly a fighter. Help pull!
No. 1050846 ID: a2d88b

Look if there's a way to secure the rope nearby instead of simply pulling it. If there's one, you can take over pulling entirely, leaving her free to fight them off.
No. 1051120 ID: a7a180
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>Pull up!
I scramble between the Beformicans and grab onto the rope. Anet with all her bags is really heavy, but between the two of us we manage to pull her up. Unfortunately, Jaina ends up having to defend all three of us as we lie catching our breath. One of them strikes her on the back trying to tear her armor off, but she manages to break away from their grip. Pent and Jaina end up focusing on one, then the other, flanking and driving them over the edge with painful zaps and wide swings.
The cart finally leaves the Beformicans in the dust, and we’re safe for a moment.
“Are you okay Jaina? It looks like you’re bleeding,” I ask.
She grits her teeth and waves me off. “It’s nothing. It hit the armor. You should see the other gal.”
The cart travels much faster than we could on foot, and its route loops past a building next to the labs we were aiming for. We can jump from the cart down onto the walkway and duck inside, bypassing a whole lot of sneaking in and up from the ground floor. There’s just two questions: how do we approach stealth, and what to have the cart do after we’re gone.

>The way forward:
>Pent’s way: Split up and have Pent cause a distraction…
>Jaina’s way: Ambush any interlopers and move quickly…
>Anet’s way: Take the long way around, avoid encounters. Look around a bit…

>The cart:
>Let it maintain course to avoid suspicion
>Try to get it stuck on vegetation
No. 1051145 ID: 623d9b

> The way forward:

Pent has lived like this the longest and has the most experience in dealing with the beformicans, but splitting up might not be a good idea anyways, what if the group is spotted? Or Pent can't get out after her distraction? Jaina is (most likely) injured and I don't think Sam or Anet are the best of fighters, and Pent would be able to spot anything indicating beformicans before any of you did.

Although ambushing is better than head-on fighting, but you just came out of a fight and it was a fight where you even had an ambush-advantage yet you still came out roughed-up. Any injuries from said fight might be a problem during another ambush, and there could be way more beformicans the next time.

The entire purpose of going to the archaeology site was to explore these ancient ruins anyways, if you're careful enough and have Pent as a guide you can avoid any more beformicans and traps (hopefully). There's not exactly a hurry right now anyways. Take the long way and make sure to find a safe(ish) spot to quickly check Jaina's carapace, even if it did not pierce through her armor it should still be reinforced or something. If that place is safe enough, check everyone for injuries after a fight, it would be bad to discover any problems too late.

I say do things Anet's way

>The cart:

If there really is no time to figure out how to work the cart, and just park it instead, getting it stuck in vegetation sounds incredibly dangerous. I think you would just end up crashing it, but that would make enough noise for a sort of distraction if done right, but that would still be way more dangerous. Even if it is meant as a getaway vehicle getting it "stuck" in vegetation kind of defeats the point.

I really can't think of a way to get it stuck in some vines an
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No. 1051201 ID: a9af05

Yeah, I agree with all of this.

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1050017 No. 1050017 ID: 681cb5 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts]

Two lone mercenaries, lost in an unknown galaxy far from home, slowly drifts towards a smaller mining colony on the edge of the sector, a long way from anything of note. They were part of colony fleet that would do the impossible, FTL jumping to completely different galaxy, but something went very wrong… and now they are stranded all on their own. Their ship is barely holding together, as the wounds they received fleeing from the last planet as outlaws takes their toll, forcing them to land on the planet before them, for better or for worse…


Discussion thread: https://tezakia.net/kusaba/questdis/res/134609.html#134609
Technically a side story to Starlight Afterglow, but should be a self-contained story: https://questden.org/wiki/Starlight_Afterglow
76 posts and 20 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1051105 ID: 681cb5
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As the flame subsides, you’re forced to duck for cover as a spear of flame whiffs past barely a decimeter from your head. Standing behind one of the pillars, you try your best to get a glimpse of who’s trying to cook you, but the flame spears keeps raining all around you, pinning you to the spot. It’s clear that they don’t want you to move from this location.

”Hey! That was my trap, you inflated puffball!” you hear a sultry female voice yell out, a voice you recognize. It’s that mushroom lady, Phassli or what her name was, and this is clearly the flame lance weapon she had. ”Come out here so I can burn ya!” the taunts as she keeps firing, before you hear her weapon click and hum, ”Eat spores, sap drinker!”


:RaolmeCommSO: It seems the Outlaw Queen has some trouble with Phoenix, as she’s being pinned down behind cover with her flame lance! Though, you know what they say about you mushrooms and cover.
:MrrghCommSO: Never hide from someone that will burn you out, Xolin. We can only hope she has a plan to deal with the spores before she gets burned!
:RaolmeCommSO: Oh! And look at that! It seems Slicer got the drop on the Onyx King on the other side of the arena! The Flaugnir might be in trouble now, as those Korak’s are not to be trifled with in close combat!
:MrrghCommSO: It seems that he’s on the defensive, trying to retreat from her… but she’s keeping up without problem!
:RaolmeCommSO: This might be the end of Ur
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No. 1051106 ID: 8b2592

Seems both the pyros and the close quarters wound up together. The other fight will go quickly, no doubt, which is a shame. For Phoenix, sounds like she needs to reload, and is sending spores your way. So, either run, or shoot them right as she deploys them.

Invisible nerd (Ba'taq) detected by that pillar in front of you. Might be worth using him as a shield, but if you can convince him to help you against that burning mushroom, all the better. Drag him along to safety, he won't want to be here in a few seconds and you can say you helped him. Just don't turn your back to him (even if showing off some primo ass), or leave yourself unarmed. So, probably don't shoot Phoenix yet.
No. 1051150 ID: 2a82d3

>We can only hope she has a plan to deal with the spores before she gets burned!
You need a shield or distraction to get out from the suppression fire. If noone else comes in, blind fire in her general direction. If you're lucky, you might ignite her cannon blast on herself, like shooting a rocket barely past the barrel. Even if you miss, she'll at least h9ld back the spores out of fear that you could.

From there, it's either tactical retreat or closing in for CQC.

>This might be the end of Urak Vol’s short career folks!
Nah. If he's not tactical enough to know how to use his Prox Grenade to put some space between them, if not lay a trap, he wouldn't be an interesting fight for the finale.

>Invisible nerd (Ba'taq) detected by that pillar in front of you.
That night just be a camera drone. Is it a camera drone?
No. 1051176 ID: 63f410

>Tucking and rolling are for weaklings! You’ll do a fucking three point landing with this suit!
Tucking and rolling will keep you moving, which is helpful when you're trying to not get shot.

Doing a three point landing brings you to a dead stop, which gives everyone a chance to shoot you before you can get yourself moving again.

>Preferable atop of someone as well!
Or if no one is under you, you can grab someone and jump over the edge with them to make them cushion your fall.

>cloud of spores explodes
>"Eat spores, sap drinker!”
Since her spores explode when exposed to flames, you don't want to stay where you are when she throws them! The cloud of spores will go around your cover so that when she uses her weapon, it'll ignite the spores and still hit you behind cover!

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No. 1051200 ID: a9af05

Watch out for the invisible nerd right in front of you.

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1041764 No. 1041764 ID: b7732e hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]

This is a short fan quest taking place way before the events of The God Damned by Whistler and Graphygraphie https://questden.org/kusaba/quest/res/944457.html. Fret not, as reading it is not necessary to understand this tale. Take it as an aperitif for a much grander one.

A day in the life of people who just want to get through the end of it.
16 posts and 5 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 1050620 ID: 8483cf

Intrigued! Great opportunity to learn more.
No. 1051164 ID: 53d46e
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Each tribe has a purpose, each tribe is divided, in a role that most befit them. For each tribe and creature is different and has their own part to play in the world.
While others may resign to this and shun what’s alien to them, there are those who, to a degree, embrace that strangeness, that broad range of beings, from the akin to the utterly foreign, who form a constant part of their world and indeed their everyday life. They are odd and mysterious, and the wise always affront such things with wariness, but there is ever an allure to be found in the mysterious.

As she settles on a proper spot to keep watch over the street, Trezi allows herself a little smile as she surveys the passers-by.

Each tribe has its role, each tribe is different. But strange as it may seem, Trezi is glad they are together.
No. 1051165 ID: 53d46e
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“Excuse me!”
No. 1051166 ID: 53d46e
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“I-I’m sorry to inconvenience you, honored Martinet, but I need your help!”

A rather young Artisan with bright, curved markings approaches Trezi, joining her hands pleadingly and beginning to kneel as she speaks. Noticing a laprine or looking their way, Trezi walks towards her and signals her to rise, before letting her continue.

“One of my wards is missing. He stay home and continue practicing but after I came back from picking up breakfast, he was gone! “

“H-his name is Prielos. He is training to become a seamster, like me. Please, it’s been over an hour! I’ve been looking all over the neighbourhood but I can’t seem to find him. Would you help me look for him?”

Curses. Trezi is not supposed to leave her post today. Not until a couple more hours, at least. She has been a proper guardswoman for a couple years now, but she is still fairly junior in the eyes of her superiors.
Keeping the peace and helping the citizenry is what Martinets are meant to do, but if she goes looking for a missing kid, it may actually take her hours. If she abandons her watch for that long, she could get in trouble.

What should Trezi do?

>Help the Artisan find her ward.

>Point her towards a more veteran guard to help her, instead.
No. 1051167 ID: e7c7d3

Go look for the kid, this is classic stuff, like helping old ladies cross the street

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