Just return to Amanda's house

Might as well head back home. From the map earlier their really didn’t seem like their was much to do in town excepts maybe go to the park but that’s in the opposite direction from Amanda’s place and you probably shouldn’t risk losing or breaking to case you just got. I mean you probably have enough problems with the whole “can’t remember shit” and the “ you apparently almost died”. Probably should add people have a hard time trusting you since you fucked up a simple delivery mission after have to be taught how to open a door on top of all that.

Okay so that explains why Amanda can see, that's one of her "odd characteristics".

Anyway time to deliver errand #1. Things are going great! I mean, apparently you were nearly non-functional before Amanda saved you. That's pretty cool.

Be sure to thank Amanda for introducing you to Werner. Her sight makes much more sense, now that you've spoken with a man without a mouth.

Let's not tempt fate. We have much else to do, so we should go back to Amanda, we can fun stuff tomorrow.

Deflect

Wish

>>1069675
Cast Muscle Spasm on him, that'll stop him dead in his tracks!

Slurpee avalanche!
(But then it immediatly melts because we're in He'll, and you cant get your prize that easily, but at least it helped against our enemy.)

Astral Dunk

Threes 2023/07/23(Sun)08:13 No. 1068758 ID: 51f2a2
File 169012523286.png - (8.31KB , 480x300 , 032.png )

The Western Territories, officially the Federation of the Western Territories, is a country on the continent of Solomonia[1]. It comprises the entirety of the Western Peninsula[2] and the adjoining islands. Its sole land border, which is disputed[3], is with the Solomonian Union[4] to the east, across a mountainous desert region known as the Divide[5]. Formed in the aftermath of the Great War[6] by the colonies of several Borean[7] nations which were annexed during the conflict, it has developed a reputation for mystery and isolation, especially in the aftermath of its Civil War[8].

Threes 2023/07/23(Sun)08:14 No. 1068759 ID: 51f2a2
File 169012524530.png - (7.78KB , 480x300 , 033.png )

The computing industry[1] in the Western Territories[2] has developed largely independent of and parallel to that of the rest of the world, due to that country's isolation during the last half-century. Examples of Western-produced computers outside of the peninsula are rare. Known manufacturers include WMT, Sharpen, Intelligent, Aster and Holt. (Know more about this topic? Please contact us[3] so we can improve this

Wow golly gosh what a coincidence, Aster. Might as well look for more info on them, they're the first possibility alphabetically speaking.

Try to follow the "computing industry[1]" link.

Let's reeducate ourselves a bit about the Great War, the Western Territories Civil War, and the Boreans.

>>1068567 Whatever you do, do NOT step on two more houses and get fairies living in your nipples.

I’m on the Fairy’s side. I am unbiased.

>>1068983
Especially since your dragon form doesn't have boobs and you're not sure if they'd die first or merge and steal your awesomeness.

A fairy bargain? that's quite a pickle
Maybe visit the lake, i don't think she'll like having her new house flooded, it's not breaking the bargain if she's the one that leaves right?

Can the fairy be a futa herself?

>>1069151
we could, but im pretty sure it got abandoned since worker couldnt use it

Also, we should question her on why she's still tied up and wearing the wedding dress :3

Go for a hug and another wild story - the time traveller's tale.

"Hi again, dear! Still looking good!"

On the topic of looks, assure her that look, you were trying to properly do the marriage proposal thing, but Riede didn't seem keen, so the whole affair must go through later, whoops haha - hm, come to think of it, did it need to be approved by one of the elders of the house? Gah, you can't remember their name. July? Ule? Someone like that. She should rest assured you'll have a spare certificate on hand for the time when it comes, just like you had the dress. Speaking of, is the fit okay? You do hope you got her measurements right, at least.

That said, you get the disapppintment at being left behind at the not-so-literal alter - utterly scandalous - and will work hard to make up for it and honor her and her house, once the world is no longer under threat of their COSMIC ULTRA NUKE that...

... oh right, she still doesn't know what the actual The Plan(tm) is? Or was the story she didn't care and was just in it for the gravity magic, like Rean? Man, that woman - her brother is decidedly more pleasant. Right?

Take a step back, apologize for rambling and say that given the MANY time shenanigans that've been going on the last few months of subjective time, you get the order of events confused a lot: you just knew you couldn't tell her anything in that first encounter - but that's really not your fault, because she told you - nagged, really - that you didn't!

Anyway, it's important she pay attention, because she'll tell you some of this later, before you get here. Admittedly, she also said you could've explained things better and that she was too upset about something at the time to really pay attention when you informed past-her, so um, let's reset, like a proper time mage should.

G

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>>1069153
I think Worker still had it in the sewers here >>1037224.

Get on your hands and knees and BEG Riede to officiate the marriage papers!
It’s the only way we can possibly hope to beat Yand.

Yand’s teammates must really hate her if they didn’t even bother untying her

Gonna be hard to get married after your papers got burned. But hey, maybe something happened between her and her masters or whatever that can be of help. It would certainly be a good idea to first find out about her circumstances and then adapt to the situation.

In general you should act all lovingly towards "your dear"; be worried, tell her that you're sorry about what happened the last time, but that she shouldn't get any wrong impressions - the marriage wasn't official yet, so if she wants to call it off... Btw, she won't hurt you if you untie her, will she?

Alpha-14 2023/07/22(Sat)21:15 No. 1068736 ID: fb3ac9
File 169008570193.png - (421.56KB , 1024x576 , HWC06_052.png )

I shoot a last message to Dispatch. O'Hara is one of the good guys, even if he's not entirely straight. We can trust him with a favor, I wouls just rather not ask him favors. I'm afraid I cant say much more, I wouldnt like any of this on record.

You cant bottle bad thought. It just grow. Wound need air to get better.

> "Easy for YOU to say! You, after all this gets to go home to rest and eat and and be safe under all that metal! I cant even get my guard down in my own home!!"

I understand. She is lashing out. Andrews seems understanding. Or she is just not letting him answer.

Alpha-14 2023/07/22(Sat)21:15 No. 1068737 ID: fb3ac9
File 169008573483.png - (357.70KB , 1024x576 , HWC06_053.png )

> "I cant even be safe in my own place. Do I still even have a place? Should I go back after--"

At this point, Freya poured her heart. Yeah, she knew Locke. Apparently they met three months ago when Locke moved into the city with Falcone, and was about to leave in a few weeks. Things between the two seemed to be going nicely. When trying to talk about what happened the last time they met, she just broke into tears.

Alpha-14 2023/07/22(Sat)21:17 No. 1068738 ID: fb3ac9
File 169008582662.png - (264.79KB , 1024x576 , HWC06_054.png )

Between her yelling, her soft cries on my shoulder, and the scent of rewarmed coffee, the rescuers have no trouble finding us. Which bring us a problem... now what?

"Whatever you guys decide, I got your back."

It didnt dawn on me at the time, but... Freya is traumatized, Locke is unavailable -- permanently --, and Falcone got caught by Kirk and Kat, but they just locks and shuts up whenever someone asks them something uncomfortable. Me, Andrews and Dispatch have the most information on the situation, and whatever story we ended up making held a disproportionate amount of weight on the things that followed. In most possibilities, either Freya or Falcone would end in a bad spot.

So what did we end up telling them?

>>1068738
A full and unbiased report, obviously. The authorities can gather further evidence, and the situation is fragile enough that they're going to want to do a thorough investigation.

A corrupt handler brought to justice by the soldier he was paired with? That's fine, the public will appreciate that story. It will be seen as that soldiers can be trusted more than their handlers.

I suspect Locke confronted whoever is threatening Freya and got done in, setting off Falcone.

Onfim 2023/06/27(Tue)09:06 No. 1066696 ID: d36bc1
File 168788196493.png - (4.88KB , 605x583 , AnnaQuestCH3P11.png )

>>Sure, knock yourself out.

Schlatt: Okay. I don't know who my mother is, or was. And i wish i knew! Because my dad beat the shit outta me! Every night i was hoping that he would not drink for ONE, FUCKING, DAY. HE IS THE REASON I HAVE NIGHT TERRORS. AND I FUCKING HATED HIM FOR IT.....*sigh* just wanted to get that off my chest........so what was your dad like?

He'd often sit me down and have a long talk about how he was right, relentlessly arguing with me and breaking me down for hours because he couldn't believe he was ever wrong. He was the best father, in his head.

So, Socrates basically. Not too bad, all things considered. Must suck to have night terrors. Those are the ones you can't even remember, right?

Onfim 2023/06/27(Tue)19:40 No. 1066726 ID: d36bc1
File 168792004759.png - (5.37KB , 605x583 , AnnaQuestCH3P12.png )

>>He'd often sit me down and have a long talk about how he was right, relentlessly arguing with me and breaking me down for hours because he couldn't believe he was ever wrong. He was the best father, in his head. So, Socrates basically. Not too bad, all things considered. Must suck to have night terrors. Those are the ones you can't even remember, right?

Schlatt: augh.. yeah. Some nights i lay my head on my pillow for hours (or at least it feels like hours) until my eyes get too tired and i fall asleep. Anyways, no offence but you look like some middle-aged dad with no money. Do you have a kid or something?

...

Yes, 37 children, why?

Checking out the security system seems important

Start with the security system, then get to cleaning. Making sure the master of the house has turned in is something you save for when you're about to clock out.

Dunky2012 2023/07/05(Wed)18:48 No. 1067160 ID: 2f7f6e
File 168860811120.png - (94.92KB , 1280x1280 , every_hallway_needs_a_clock.png )

You decide to set the alarms first. It would be a shame if some burglar were to sneak in while you check the kitchen, after all. The controls for the security system aren’t too far so you reach it quickly enough, setting the alarms to keep the place safe.

You’re suddenly hit with a wave of tiredness. You must be getting old, you used to stay up much later than this doing your job. Oh well, you only have one more thing to do before you can wish the Professor a good night and get yourself some well deserved rest.

Check in on the professor and see if he needs to get booted into bed

Well check if the professor needs anything before going to bed the cleaning can come tomorrow.

>>1066289
What if they're faking it for some reason

>>1066399
I'm suspecting that as well.
Either way, there's no harm in ordering extra food. The potential harm will be in opening the door to deliver it.

They can communicate; they're not likely to die instantly, don't use the radio, just order a LOT of food. Also ask them, like, what kind of food would be helpful to them, maybe you could get them like an entire cement truck full of jam if they're like some super huge insect type thing that drinks nectar or something.

>>1066289
Wern't we given a manual at some point? We should check if it says anything about emergency actions

Write EMERGENCY! URGENT!! on some forms, very large. Explain this subject is malnourished and needs more food for survival.

"What is this 'thing that grows in a cave somewhere on Spool?'"

It's a long way to the mountain still, and you need to get some experience exploring the wide world beyond your home. Sounds like a chance to learn what grows in caves! And to learn about caves! But why could she possibly need your help in getting it?

Oh sure, is it like some sort of moss or something?

"Not if you expect me to add an extra round trip between Spool and Grand Station, I barely have enough to get there once. If you can come to Spool with me and return to Grand Station yourself, however, I'm game - whatchu need?"

"Ok, I'll bite, what are you looking for and why do you need my help with it?"

>>1045428
Are we really emotionally prepared to go through with something like this?

1/2 BAN 2023/05/28(Sun)22:29 No. 1064712 ID: df6307
File 168533814141.jpg - (533.21KB , 900x900 , cop286.jpg )

Your heart skips a beat. You shrug awkwardly. "Who doesn't have relatives who fought in the war?" You try to change the subject as quickly as possible.... You glance at your guide's leg. "Even you've got some war wounds, it seems."

>PIT seems amused. "What, this? There was just a little accident during a testing block a couple weeks ago. I've never been within 300 miles of a battlefield, and hopefully never will."

"I see... let's get back to the tour."

>"Of course. Come along, I'll take you to the core offices upstairs."

PIT weaves back through the exhibit, eventually leading you to a door that takes you further into the facility. Soon, you're loading into a small elevator.

>"Each major department has their own network of office spaces on the second floor," PIT explains as she starts typing a passcode into a keypad on the wall. "On the third floor are the department heads' offices, and ADAM's office, of course. We'll get to those in due time."

You watch as the engineer continues pressing keys. The passcode for this elevator is very, very long... "I know we haven't seen everything yet, but something's bothering me about your security," you remark.

>"Really?" PIT sounds genuinely curious. A green light flashes, and she presses the button for the second floor.

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2/2 BAN 2023/05/28(Sun)22:38 No. 1064713 ID: df6307
File 168533873017.jpg - (677.87KB , 1200x900 , cop287.jpg )

PIT leads the two of you through a door into a large office space. Researchers and interns are weaving through a vast sprawl of cubicles, desks and strange-looking computers. A door on the far wall seems to lead into another space with a similar layout.

>"These are the offices for the RF department," PIT says proudly. "I have several research teams that are using this space currently. I'd explain what they're working on, but then you wouldn't be allowed to leave."

She sounds like she's joking, but the image of an automated turret network is still fresh in your mind.... You decide not to press her on that.

>A young man in a lab coat looks up as you walk by his cubicle. "Ma'am, the ordnance department will be starting their scheduled testing block on 5B in twenty minutes," he says, ducking his head in a half-bow toward PIT. "They asked if you'd be attending, again... Should I still just send the interns?"

>PIT crosses her arms. "Of course! I'm not gracing those shitheels with my presence until NISHI shows up at my doorstep, gets on his hands and knees, and begs for forgiveness. Send those kids from the engineering college again."

>"Got it, ma'am."

>PIT turns back to you as her subordinate re-absorbs himself in his work. "Company politics," she sighs exasperatedly.

I know the feeling, you think to yourself...

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>>1064713
one overworked department head to another, yes, it's relevant.

this gets us some goodwill, but also gives us an easy in on seeing what the company is up to AND gives us access to a new leadership person to talk with. I don't think our new friend here has much to do with this on a gut level, so meeting another high-up would be useful.

Checking in on potentially dangerous materials is what se came for, after all.

It would be a pleasure to learn more about these test, we will make sure not to interfere and be discreet on the matter.

>>1065362
Try headbutting her in the face as hard as possible! You might get lucky and knock her out, which will turn off the magic and let you eat her yourself!

>>1065362
Yeah fuck no to that

>>1065362
Magic requires concentration to maintain. Headbutt her to break her concentration, then eat her before she gets her magic going again.

Bonus points if you can repeatedly headbutt her until she's unconscious!

>>1065362
If your balls are empty, you'll just have to fill them up again.

With her.

a thing i have noticed there is barely any conservation of mass

>>1065678
"Follow the bird construct! She's our ticket out of here!"
There's still a couple of riflemen that might be shooting at us, so let's discourage that while we run...
shoot(hostile riflemen)
follow(Sheri)

strafe riiiiight

uncle 2023/06/12(Mon)22:11 No. 1065757 ID: f0bf00
File 168663307893.jpg - (249.12KB , 2000x2000 , 2left.jpg )

"There is a utility garage about 300 meters to the left. Should be a skimmer large enough for Savril, who also appears to have been shot" Sheri says.

You hear a loud BANG as the door across the hall dents outward.


2 updates until an unknown amount of reinforcements arrive

Savril must be the Amtsvane.
"Reinforcements will be here very soon. Savril, once we're clear, tip over some shelves behind us to block their path. Whatever that thing is banging on the door, it'll cause an additional distraction. Hopefully that'll buy us enough time."
run(towards utility garage)

set destination(300m left)
run & gun

I'm gonna clarify stuff.
I was asking too much at the same time, & my questions also weren't clear...

1. A scuffed CATMARINE that you painted in BATTLE CAT SQUADRON colors. People say the Battle Cats are cheezy but they're a great beginner army.

2. You don't have your passport because it fell in the toilet and you have to dry it out in a bag of rice (it's an electronic passport).

3. Tell him the orb is your pet.

4. Elbow macaroni is a banned substance because it looks too much like dried tubeworms, which are also banned.

Clarification: Kammight 2023/06/12(Mon)18:18 No. 1065734 ID: 4314ed
File 168661908815.png - (1.24KB , 64x64 , ORB_Icon.png )

Only question 2 is actually important. The others can be ignored if you want.

1: What is Frankie's Favorite TAFB figurine?

2: What is a quick snippet of Frankie's backstory that explains why he doesn't have his passport? Some ideas I had were: [He doesn't have one yet. He's technically an undocumented alien. / He had one, but it was lost shortly before Cerendi & Co. rescued him. / He has one, but it's been damaged in an embarrassing incident.]

3: Do you want to try sneaking the ORB through/avoid drawing attention to it? Or do you want to just follow the rules & submit it for screening? Or something else?

The "bonus" question is just fishing for something funny or potentially plot-relevant on the ban list.

1: A yet-unpainted Shark Week chapter figurine - this one's a female brute unit, which is only slightly less jacked than the male version, and you find the contours of the skin-tight wetsuit to be somewhat intimidating just from a painting challenge standpoint.

2: It's funny, you're so fresh that you've technically yet to turn in the paperwork for a passport application. Hopefully, this guy is amiable to letting you do that here - odds go up if there's a separate guy they can dump us onto and move on from.

3: Declare it as an artifact, of course. No reason to do otherwise unless you're extremely paranoid of the local government. Maybe mention the omni-AI drone is keeping an eye on it just to be safe?

Bonus: Scuba gear; somebody had the bright idea of smuggling gaseous drugs in their no-permit-required oxygen tanks, and were only thwarted because one sharp-witted checkpoint agent realized that there weren't any suitable diving sites here nor on any of the planets one would obviously travel through here to reach.

1. An ACE PILOT figurine. It's ruggedly scarred as it's seen many a game and even an epic battle with a very bitey toddler.

2. It's shorn in half. You're carrying what's left of it, that is to say, only the photo and half the data strip (making it completely unreadable without specialized equipment). Therefore the passport can more-or-less prove it belongs to you, but doesn't say who you are.

3 Declare the ORB as artefact.

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:11 No. 1065008 ID: dc13c4
File 168569706046.jpg - (346.95KB , 741x737 , Cantaloupe Quest 19.jpg )

Cantaloupe Werewolf: "So what did you want to talk to me about? I am all ears and you are just out of frame."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:12 No. 1065009 ID: dc13c4
File 168569717265.jpg - (479.41KB , 827x915 , Cantaloupe Quest 20.jpg )

Mom: "That is my little sweet peach! You know I was just teasing you about the whole way how you look, I get it it is a stylistic choice to have outlines and also you were drawn by somebody completely different. No matter who you are and who you love I will always love you."

Cantaloupe Werewolf: "Mom! Stop hugging me in front of the quest participators it is humiliating!"

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:14 No. 1065010 ID: dc13c4
File 168569725571.jpg - (481.67KB , 931x1016 , Cantaloupe Quest 21.jpg )

Mom: "Yeah I get it this is your story and don't worry I won't be part of it. This is just me making a short cameo before going on my own adventure of liquidating all our assets and dogging assassinations."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:16 No. 1065011 ID: dc13c4
File 168569740028.jpg - (477.24KB , 931x998 , Cantaloupe Quest 22.jpg )

Mom: "The thing is the whole thing with the Lemon Stan and NFTs completely collapsed, a lot of people are made at me, even the president of the United state of Mcdonald's is going to Heaven and dragging stan out of the condo which he bought there to the supreme court hearing. To make a long story short a lot of shit has happened and it is time for us to disappear. That is why I should implore you to meet with Mister Sleazy Mc Cockballs in order to create your own religion. That is the only way to reach the final form of financial independence and for you to become a big shot. Morality only applies to those who sell it, the only morality that we rely on is the maze that is printed on the back of a cereal box, find the exit and don't get lost."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:18 No. 1065012 ID: dc13c4
File 168569748669.jpg - (253.18KB , 476x556 , Cantaloupe Quest 23.jpg )

Sarcastic Thoughts of Cantaloupe Werewolf: "This sound a lot like getting a job, and creating my own religion is that what I really want to do? Not to mention that I really don't like Mister Sleazy, he taught me how to read cards, commit tax fraud and even fake my death. All of this reminds me of that one time I wanted a piercing and my mom while drunk wanted to do it herself, so instead of getting a piercing, I got a circumcision and it was only Tuesday."

LiterallyJumble 2023/05/23(Tue)05:48 No. 1064409 ID: 7ae8e6
File 168484609539.png - (302.14KB , 1920x1080 , Date.png )

>ask a little about her, what do cute robots do for a living? does she need to go to college or does she learn through some other means? what kind of hobbies does she have? stuff like that

"I'm currently unemployed, but I do volunteer work at Xeno Labs! I take care of the creations and help them learn, I'm somewhat of a comfort bot over there! I did go to college, due to my memory loss before arriving in this world, I had to start from scratch.. My mind and body doesn't allow any connections like that, so I had to learn the old fashion way!"

She thinks for a second before answering the last question

"I don't have any interesting hobbies... I like walking? Seeing the sights is very nice, exploring the world... It's exciting! like.. an adventure!" She smiles

LiterallyJumble 2023/05/23(Tue)05:50 No. 1064410 ID: 7ae8e6
File 168484624905.png - (306.92KB , 1920x1080 , THEFAM.png )

>Is she a unique model or does she have any "family" to speak of?

"I'm unique as in there's only one of me, but I do have a family! A sister named Chip and a brother named Hisker! We all came from a program, a game I think! But we lost all our memories due to some corruption of our code, we don't remember eachother, but we came from the same program, so that makes us family!"

She beams with joy, happy at your question

"What about you? Do you have any family?"

>>1064410
Nothing exciting, fairly nuclear.
Mom, dad, sibling, a smattering of aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins, a pet dog, a stray cat who might as well be a pet and a potted plant that's lived long enough for there to be an attachment.

>>1064410
Edward was raised by Aunt Becky since his early teens, as his parents do medical stuff overseas. He hasn't seen them in a while since The Merge made their jobs very busy, but they stay in touch electronically.

Dad travels a lot for business, mom is a mechanic. Of your siblings, your sister works in the shop and your brother moved away for college and found a job elsewhere.

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/05/13(Sat)18:12 No. 1063738 ID: dc13c4
File 168402677193.jpg - (885.24KB , 762x1186 , DDB 249.jpg )

Without saying a single word you use your wings and fly toward the portal. You are truly free from the dream, you are no longer part of the dream, and you are no longer part of the dreamer."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/05/13(Sat)18:13 No. 1063739 ID: dc13c4
File 168402680577.jpg - (392.37KB , 683x485 , DDB 250.jpg )

The last glims that you give to your previous world were the two introducers waving at you. That was the last time that you saw them. After so many days passed away you still think to yourself. Did I do the right thing? Would I be a happier person with one of them?

quest complete

drives driven: 1
dreams dreamt: 1
portals portalified: 1
noses honked: 0

Breasts destroyed: 4

Thank you all for following this story this is partially the end of the quest. I am not sure if I would want to do a continuation of it, I am satisfied with how it played out. The only thing that I am maybe willing to do is an epilogue, but that is only if you are interested in seeing additional things.

Name: Seymore Stiques
Color: Burgundy
Special trait: Made of concrete
Special item 1: Power drill
Special item 2: Feral hog

Name: Mook_Gangster_04
Color: Cobalt
Special trait: He can shoot gangsta style. (sideways)
Special item 1: Baseball cap (Worn backwards)
Special item 2: pair of mac-10s.

Name: Johnnyboy
Color: Green
Special Trait: Shorter than average
Special Item 1: Baseball bat
Special Item 2: Toothpick in mouth

Name: Sandwhisper
Color: Tan
Special Trait: Feline Taur
Special Item 1: Endless Ramen
Special Item 2: Mysteriously Mysterious Rubber Turkey

Name: Aurelia
Color: Copper
Special trait: Prehensile tail
Special Item : Sling
Special item 2: Spade

CHAPTER 1 — MIDWELL Spinwide 2023/04/01(Sat)15:38 No. 1060264 ID: a7e32a
File 168038868552.png - (13.82KB , 500x500 , town center.png )

It takes around two hours to walk to the town center, taking stops to eat wild berries and enjoy the scenery on the way. The red of dawn has faded away entirely, leaving a solid wash of blue sky. As it's the first of Missing Sun, there's no sun visible above, nor will there be for the rest of this month. Even the sun needs its rest.

There's a bit of activity around the town center. Since it's still early in the morning, most of those up at this hour are setting up activities or conversing. Nobody you've been close with is nearby, but a few craftspeople and foreign traders look to be preparing for the day's trade. A handful of older folk are counting food for the midday feast to celebrate the turning of the month. If you came here last, you'd've loved to join in for some excellent food before you set out, but you don't have the time to wait around. There's a small class for morning exercises a bit further away from the small crowd, and a deacon is gathering water from the well for ceremonies.

All in all, it's an average day for a small religious community. Normal goods will be simple to gather as long as you have the space to carry them; you can just go gather food, clothes, basic supplies, etc. from communal stores. Exceptional things, potentially armor, weapons, or advanced manufactured goods will require a bit more effort in either trade or theft. While you're on a deadline, you still have plenty of time to look around. The question is...

What first?

See if the foreign merchant has anything interesting to sell or say

>>1060264
>If you came here last, you'd've loved to join in for some excellent food before you set out, but you don't have the time to wait around.
If you told us about that earlier, then we would’ve suggested coming here last so that you could’ve joined in for the excellent food. So that’s kinda your fault.

>what do?
Go check out the foreign traders.

>>1060264
Talk to the old folks counting the food. Maybe you can get some food to take with you on your travels? It would be better than relying on wild berries and mushrooms that might be poisonous.

>>1060377
Foreign Merchants always have the most exotic swag!

Don't you DARE to cover up your MAJESTIC and GLORIOUS BODIES! What sort of GRAND TASK TAKERS would you be to buckle and break at the FEEBLE TRADITIONS of humans? You are LARGER then them! POSE WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT! SHOW these dwellers of the LAND OF MEN your BARE INTENTIONS, UNAFRAID! Maybe also get some SNACKS OF SUSTENANCE.

This human is attempting to be helpful, WE SHOULD BRING HIM WITH US SO THAT HE MAY HELP US NAVIGATE THE STRANGE HUMAN LANDS! just pick him up, he’s small.

distract them by sucking their dicks

MARTLEBY should tell the sentry that he, too, can become a CHAMPION like MARTLEBY.
If the sentry can prove his respect to the SACRED DUTY, then MARTLEBY would allow the sentry to meet the ARBOREAL SOW and become a MIGHTY CHAMPION.
If the sentry accepts, then MARTLEBY should strip the sentry naked (for GLORIOUS reasons) and let him ride on MARTLEBY's back, while providing assistance to the SACRED DUTY.

As for where to go next, BURRRT should visit the wedding - his dexterity will be necessary to evade the objects thrown at him. I'm sure one of the objects will end up being the divine relic he's looking for. MARTLEBY and FLICHARD should venture towards the CORNFLOWER STATION.

Our champions are going to get fucking shot. Maybe we're lucky and this is ENGLAND, or at least CANADA. Yeah take along the human, he can help guide the SOW's grooms in this FOREIGN REALM (and if not he'll at least be a useful HOSTAGE). Take a gander in the store first, maybe there's some LESSER ARTEFACTS or useful garbage to be had.