Secret Santa: Sarcopholacooda Sarcopholacooda 2019/12/12(Thu)15:02 No. 131635 ID: 11f77a
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And finally!

Cybil has Roz from Dead Dust: https://questden.org/wiki/Dead_Dust !
Eudora has Mac from The Rogue: https://questden.org/wiki/The_Rogue !
Victor has Fayz from AAAQ: https://questden.org/wiki/Arzfayz_Amazing_Adventure_Quest !

Anyone who volunteers after the 12th will be paired on the 19th! Happy hunting!

FUN 2019/12/21(Sat)11:06 No. 131696 ID: 965b25
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>>131605
crimmus

I've been informed I did this wrong, I'm gonna do it proper.

FUN 2019/12/22(Sun)12:13 No. 131701 ID: 965b25
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Millennia of vigorous research and countless lives have gone into the search for the perfect gift. But finally it all comes to fruition...

FUN 2019/12/22(Sun)12:14 No. 131702 ID: 965b25
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A perfect specimen...the perfect gift... Rat 2

Dread King Malcor 2019/12/22(Sun)22:45 No. 131704 ID: 5245b2
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"Took me a while to find an incense cedar tree, but find one I did."

>>131702
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yv8sC4N2gs

Mac 2019/12/23(Mon)20:23 No. 131716 ID: 470289
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“Cybil, right? I got this book of poetry, which I don’t think you’re too into? But, it was written by the Ultra who wrote a lot of the Tree’s laws and it’s all about that. It’s… well it’s really bad. She’s mostly just complaining about a bunch of legal minutiae and politics in shitty prose. It’s soul-crushingly boring. I don’t actually remember where I got this, I usually have better taste than this.”

Mac 2019/12/23(Mon)20:23 No. 131717 ID: 470289
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“It’s your festival gift. I had to call my dad’s office for weeks to get it signed by Ultraqueen Zizimirl and it took eight months to get here. It’s a limited first edition copy. I wrote a poem in the back about how much you mean to me as a sister.”

Mac 2019/12/23(Mon)20:24 No. 131719 ID: 470289
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“Shipping’s free, right?”

Mac bought a new copy to send after getting yelled at.

>>131719
Haha, nice.

Sarcopholacooda 2019/12/24(Tue)13:44 No. 131728 ID: 11f77a
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Ganymede: Ah, the carnival. If there’s one joyous thing about Hab-Zoraat, it’s the convenient Festival of Na’nysa! In celebration of a Relik monk who ascended--

Eudora: Enough exposition! Great Bho, every time I visit there’s some history lesson or tradition you preach that I already know! And the audience has a new lovecraftian-generated word to remember. I just need a gift for the Secret Santa my boss keeps forcing me into and I’m hoping this carnival would give me a solution. Preferably next panel.

Sarcopholacooda 2019/12/24(Tue)13:45 No. 131729 ID: 11f77a
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Barker: AND THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS! Try your might on our strength test! Punch the bag made of a Gorm’s bladder and beat the highest score for our top prizes!

Barker: Why, you look like a reasonably fine individual with strength to make up for looks! Why not give it a whallop, sey?

Sarcopholacooda 2019/12/24(Tue)13:45 No. 131730 ID: 11f77a
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Eudora: Sweet—

Ganymede: Allow me, Eudora! It’s time I show you that I, too, have a hidden beast inside me waiting to unleash a bout of iron fortitude. I’ve been doing some exercises—exercising demons if ya get my drift!

Eudora: That’s exorcise with an ‘o’ stupid.

Sarcopholacooda 2019/12/24(Tue)13:45 No. 131731 ID: 11f77a
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Thanks to Ganymede’s valiant attempt to soften the punching bag up for Eudora, she manages to win a Gorm calf for Mac (The Rogue). Find plenty of field; they grow as tall as elephants!

Ganymede: Whoever thought a punching bag can fight back?

>>131731
I think you were supposed to get a gift for Roz.

>>131734
Eudora (bug girl) has Mac
Cybil has Roz

I understand when I posted the pairings the faces weren't in the same order as the names. My bad.

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2019/12/25(Wed)00:53 No. 131736 ID: b5fb67
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Lily: "I had an artificer make this- it's the Wand of Bardic Attunement. Using this to cast at an inanimate object will cause the object to play any desired music for 1 hour."

Howie: "Well that's pretty darn cool."

Lily: "It can play all kinds of music from any desired artist: R&B, rock, jazz, techno, whatever kind of music Stomp makes, country..."

Howie: "Ooooo..."

LW 2019/12/25(Wed)00:55 No. 131737 ID: 6f7a5a
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>>131605
N'Thar:"To Asher I give your unworthy peasant self the most prized substance of my desert homeland, augmented with the most delicate of cooling charms and contained in the finest of oil cloth.
May it's icy power sooth your broken bruised and crippled body, until it transforms into a life giving liquid for you to slake your thirst and allow many more fruitful hours toiling for your patron."

Dread King Malcor 2019/12/25(Wed)01:35 No. 131738 ID: 5245b2
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“I’m almost done with my gift. Carving this will take some time, I’ll get back to you when it’s done.”

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2019/12/25(Wed)23:11 No. 131745 ID: b5fb67
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Elena: "Hey Victor! I heard that you like practical jokes. I don't know a whole lot about them, but the store clerk told me this is pretty good for that sort of thing, so here's one of those novelty fart machines. Merry Christmas!"

Dread King Malcor 2019/12/26(Thu)15:33 No. 131749 ID: 5245b2
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"To Lady Elena Treeriver, I present to you, one handmade incense cedar box, 8 inches long, 6 inches wide and 4 inches deep. May you find comfort in it's aroma, and may it be useful storage for you."

Sarcopholacooda 2019/12/27(Fri)12:16 No. 131754 ID: 11f77a
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Cybil: Hey Vik, you working on something for your giftee right?

Victor: Yeah! I need something for this ‘Artsyfartsy’ and all of my two-handed inventions won’t really suffice. So I’m just giving her my old prototypes—like this jetpack!

Cybil: Cool… cool…

Cybil: Well I think Rosalyn would absolutely love it if I chose something from your father’s bathhouse. You got any suggestions?

Sarcopholacooda 2019/12/27(Fri)12:17 No. 131755 ID: 11f77a
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Victor: Of course! We make all of our own products from scratch too!

Victor: We got oils, body scrubs, ox brushes, onyx balms and moisturizers—

Victor: birch leaves, headrests, sauna pillows, fountains, chupian fur towels—

Victor: portable saunas™, soap salts, whipped soap, bath bombs…

Cybil: Hmmm, yes. Bath bombs. I was debating that. And you make them by hand you say?

Sarcopholacooda 2019/12/27(Fri)12:18 No. 131756 ID: 11f77a
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Cybil: Well, I want to add a few more ingredients if it isn’t troublesome.

Victor: Oh, uh… alright.

Cybil: You know, twelve pinches of saturn gel, concentrated cthulhite.
--maybe some potassium nitrate to throw in there too, you know, for those colors to sparkle--not like I’d want to endanger someone as payback or anything, right? heheh

Cybil: You seem like a guy who has the tools!

Victor: Uh Y-Yeah. I think I can… find time to make this.

Cybil: Sweet. I knew I could count on you! Let me know when it’s done~

Sarcopholacooda 2019/12/27(Fri)12:18 No. 131757 ID: 11f77a
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Cybil has given a Bath Bomb for Roz (Dead Dust). It smells like Saturn dust and space fabric!

Victor has gifted a Propulsion Pack for Arzfayz (Arzfayz Amazing Adventure Quest). Hang tight, don’t want your clothes to, like, fly off on accident!

Asher 2019/12/28(Sat)08:58 No. 131762 ID: 470289
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Asher: “I heard you did tricks with rocks, so I figured maybe you liked stuff made out of them? I carved you some dice out of different stones in my time off. Wait, do you have dice where you live, Lily? Uh… I probably should have asked that first.”

1/5 teegee 2020/01/01(Wed)03:12 No. 131773 ID: 891b91
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Sorry for the lateness on this! Will get the other entries done soon.

Dear pen pal

Hi. My names Howie, im currently doin a 18 month stint at FCI Florence, thats right im in fuckin prison. They say your names Eudora, weird name but we cant decide what our folks name us i guess. I gotta do this pen pal secret santa crap to show i can be a good member of society or some shit so i can make parole. If you ever been in the joint then you know how it is. If you aint then good for you i guess.

The assholes who run this shit say i gotta give you a present too so lucky you. Id send you some shit from the commissarry but my shit for brains brother never refills my account and they say you live a long ass way away so food would probably go bad or some shit. You in hawwai or something?

2/5 teegee 2020/01/01(Wed)03:13 No. 131774 ID: 891b91
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Well anyway i guess i gotta make you something because these people dont give two shits about helping out. They made it sound like your pretty tough and dont take shit from no one so i guess we got something in common. They didnt seem to think you been to jail before so i figure hey maybe you could use a few tips in case you ever do. So my present to you is a little prison survival guide. Sorry about the crayon, they took away our pens cause some asshole stabbed some other asshole with one last week. Cant wait to see someone figure out how to stab a guy with a crayon.

3/5 teegee 2020/01/01(Wed)03:13 No. 131775 ID: 891b91
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The guides got a few chapters. First one's about what to do when your the new guy and how to not end up bein someones bitch. Shit like "if someone gives you lip, punch his face in before he punches yours" and "always make sure someone owes you something".

4/5 teegee 2020/01/01(Wed)03:13 No. 131776 ID: 891b91
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Chapter 2 is the arts & crafts chapter. You can make all kinds of useful shit if your a little creative about it, not just shivs either. But shivs are pretty damn useful anyway dont get me wrong.

5/5 teegee 2020/01/01(Wed)03:13 No. 131777 ID: 891b91
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The last chapter is my piece da resistonce: prison cooking! The commissarry doesnt have a real good variety but if you know how to mix n match shit you can make some pretty fuckin tasty snacks and shit. Take a look at the Howie Specials for my favorites.

I gotta admit putting this thing together was actually kinda fun. Hope youll find it useful or at least a fun read.


Merry fuckin xmas

Howie

Mac 2020/01/01(Wed)09:52 No. 131778 ID: 470289
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“Heeeeey. Thanks for… this thing. The kids seem to like it.”

>“Mac, Imma call her Woolie!”

“Yeah, you do that! Wait it’s a girl? Whatever. So like… what does it eat?”

LW 2020/01/06(Mon)20:20 No. 131791 ID: 6f7a5a
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>>131696
N'Thar: "YES! now this is a gift! your recognition or my Majesty is most appreciated."

Asher 2020/01/07(Tue)15:00 No. 131794 ID: 470289
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Mash: “Aaaaaah this is how I die. ICY DEATH LIVES IN MY TEETH! Ok gimmie more.”

Junkyard: “Stop stuffing your face and wait. I'll crush it up and we can mix it with some fruit juice, that way it'll actually taste of something.”

Asher: “Let her have ‘em, we got more than enough. Thanks a lot for the ice Vizier N’Thar. Treats like this are pretty rare."

Mash: “...Aaaaaaaah.”

1/6 teegee 2020/01/07(Tue)23:56 No. 131800 ID: 891b91
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Kaz: "So what's with the hat, Fayz?"

Fayz: "Shhh! Is secret!"

Kaz: "...A secret?"

Fayz: (whispering) "Yes! Fayz is secret Santa, gotta get present for lil' girl named Bonnie!"

Kaz: "Huh, that's pretty nice of you. So whatcha gonna get her? Some kind of toy?"

Fayz: "Pfft, no! Fayz already pick perfect gift! Bonnie in BIG SAFETY CLUB, Fayz gonna get somethin' for be real safe!"

Kaz: "Oh? What's that?"

2/6 teegee 2020/01/07(Tue)23:56 No. 131801 ID: 891b91
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Fayz: "This!"

3/6 teegee 2020/01/07(Tue)23:57 No. 131802 ID: 891b91
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Kaz: "F-Fayz! You can't just give a little girl a gun!"

Fayz: "Uh huh Fayz can! Saul always tell never too early for young lady learn shoot guns!"

Kaz: "What if she gets hurt?!"

Fayz: "Duh, gun keep little girl safe, not get hurt!"

Kaz: "Uhhh but it's too big for her, that's a big revolver! M-maybe you should get something, uh, more suited for her size?"

Fayz: "Like lil' purse gun?"

Kaz: "N-no, how about, uhhhhhhh, how-- how about that BB gun?"

Fayz: "Fayz dunno... BB gonna keep lil' girl safe?"

Kaz: "Of course! Look! It has a compass in the stock, so uh, she'll never get lost!"

4/6 teegee 2020/01/07(Tue)23:57 No. 131803 ID: 891b91
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Fayz: "Compass..."

5/6 teegee 2020/01/07(Tue)23:58 No. 131805 ID: 891b91
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Fayz: "Kaz this is best idea thank you! Lil girl shoot AND never get lost!"

Kaz: "A-ah! Haha, uh, you're welcome..."

6/6 teegee 2020/01/08(Wed)00:12 No. 131807 ID: 891b91
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Fayz has given a BB Gun for Bonnie (Safety First). The stock is real walnut and has a compass embedded in it!

>>131807
a fine and responsible gift

>>131807
[Insert obligatory A Christmas Story "you'll shoot your eye out, kid" response here]

>>131807
I used to have a BB gun just like that. Only the stock was plastic. Good memories. I can’t think of a better gift.

Knowing Bonnie, she may have preferred the Magnum.

1/3 teegee 2020/06/06(Sat)00:00 No. 133083 ID: 3994a2
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"Hi! It's me, your Secret Santa! Sorry if this got to ya a bit late, they told me it might get caught up in interdimensional customs or somethin... Anyway! I heard you live all on your lonesome 'n stuff, and that's no fun! Everybody needs some friends to keep 'em company! I can't give ya friends for the holidays, but I can give you the next best thing: simulated friendship!"

"If you're listenin' to this then you've already seen what it is! This baby's got 30 whole hours of holo-recordings of yours truly -- so while I can't be there in person, I can be your friend in spirit! I got a buncha holo-diaries in here so you can see what I've been doin and thinkin' 'n stuff!"

2/3 teegee 2020/06/06(Sat)00:01 No. 133084 ID: 3994a2
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"Oh! I had a buncha space left over too, so I threw in a buncha recordings of my dance practice for the festival we have comin' up 'round here! Didn't have the costumes ready though, so I just did 'em all naked -- hope that's okay!"

3/3 teegee 2020/06/06(Sat)00:01 No. 133085 ID: 3994a2
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Roz has given a Deluxe Holo-player to Bryn Edman (Runegard). PARENTAL ADVISORY: Material may not be suitable for all ages.

So sorry about taking way too long to get around to this! I should've gotten it done months ago, but better late than never, right?

>>133085
It's alright. but hey, maybe if you waited one more month to post, then it would have been a christmas in july kind of post, lol :D