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Prince Dream Rose
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There are so many things riding on this Fire Marshal’s inspection: the Council wanting money, the Bakers’ Guild trying to mess with me, and public safety complaints about me and Dotti trying to take over the City or something.
I have the major advantage of knowing that the Fire Marshal has likely been ordered by the City Council to go looking for a dragon hoard. It’s an invasion of privacy, and he has the ability to mess with my Landlord if he doesn’t get what he wants, and he can come back again later with the proper paperwork to enter a residential unit. It’s in my best interest to make this particular problem go away quickly.
On the other hand, Dotti and Otis are here, and they’re technically customers, even if the bakery is closed at the moment. I don’t want to leave them alone.
Ahhh! What do I do?
What would Mom do?
That’s easy. Mom would be assertive. She’d go full Dragon Mom, call out what a jerk the Fire Marshal is being, point out how he’s willfully misapplying the fire code, and dare him to fail her inspection. Go on, fail me and see what happens!
…But Mom doesn’t have to live in a city full of people she’s threatening. And she doesn’t want to sell them pastries either.
Maybe I should try the Dad approach, and be assertively honest. I need to play up the angle of “innocent, but appropriately protective of my ‘hoard.’” It helps that this is, in fact, 100% true.
“I can’t leave my customers alone,” I tell the Fire Marshal. “And I don’t want to let a stranger into my home unsupervised. Um… no offense.”
“None taken,” the Fire Marshal says. “Though, isn’t the fox spirit an employee? You trust her to mind the shop, don’t you?”
“She’s on a date,” I say. “A date that’s been somewhat interrupted.”
“I’ll be quick,” the Fire Marshal says. “Look, between you and me, these residential inspections are routine. I just need to make sure there aren’t any candle mountings set directly underneath to a wooden support beam. Things that are blatantly obvious hazards. It’ll be a quick in-and-out, and we can get on with the real work.”
“You promise?” I ask warily, playing on my own uncertainty of if he’s about to screw over my landlord. “I really can’t leave Dotti and her date alone for very long. It’s terribly rude of me as their host.”
“I promise.”
I allow myself to be convinced to allow him upstairs. He checks the lighting in the entryway and gives it a cursory nod.
“Just the lighting fixtures and any stoves you have, and we can go back downstairs.”
This is going to be hard, but I believe in myself. Just pretend I’m Dad. You can do it, Kayk!
I show him around, making a point to guide him to the candle holders. I mention how nice my landlord is. She’s a wonderful old lady who takes good care of the building and has her sons work on the wood sidings all the time, and oh, here’s the stove, it’s very nice and modern and doesn’t spit smoke everywhere, no I don’t use dragon fire on it, and yes, there are some candles here, and in the bedroom too, I’m very proud of the flat and how I’ve organized it, and oh goodness is that a sweater on the floor? I’m so messy, let me put that away, so sorry you had to avoid it, it’s just so hard to keep things organized sometimes when it’s hard to choose my favorite one to wear, there are just so many options, especially when the weather gets colder like this, the changing seasons just allow for so many opportunities to show off different colors and patterns, winter is my favorite because you can have so many little doodads sewn into your outfit, like this one, see how fuzzy the tree is? I can’t wear it yet because there’s no snow on the ground, it’s a rule I have, but fortunately I have the pink one and it has stripes which are SO CUTE, it just doesn’t work in the spring, spring sweaters are good too but these shades of pink and purple are colder than green, this one is such a spring sweater and it is so COMFY, sometimes you just hate to choose so you gotta get EVERYTHING, you get it don’t you?
“I… think it would be best if we got back to business,” says the Fire Marshal, waving his hands. “I’ve seen everything I need to, ah, update my records. Let’s go back downstairs.”
Aha! Success! Thanks, Dad!
I somehow avoid fainting and head back downstairs with the Fire Marshal.
“That’s part two of three,” he says. “Now for the last one. Are all your employees trained on emergency management procedures, and how to shut down the oven if they need to?”
“I only have one employee,” I say, “and she’s on a date right now.”
“I see. Is she available afterwards? I need to confirm she’s appropriately trained and of the right temperament to handle a dragon fire oven.”
He’s going after Dotti. That bastard! “What does temperament have to do with the fire code?”
“Nothing,” he admits, “But it is part of your responsibility as an employer to ensure that employees handling hazardous materials, such as dragon fire, are trustworthy and even-handed in an emergency. If I can’t say with certainty that you, Kayk, are allowing only trained and responsible employees access to a highly dangerous fuel source, then I can’t allow you to keep operating.”
“I see,” I say. “Well, I can’t require Dotti to stay here past her shift. I recommend you come back when she’s scheduled.”
“And when might that be?”
I need to buy time to make sure Dotti is ready. Ah…
“She has the next two days off,” I say. “I recommend you drop by after the breakfast rush two days from now.”
“I’ll see her in two days, then.” the Fire Marshal flips his papers back and notches his pencil. “Thank you for your time, Miss Terrorscale.”
I show him the door. Once he’s gone, I give a massive sigh and turn around to see a horribly painful sight. Dotti is wearing a forlorn expression and grabbing at Otis’s hand as he’s in the middle of standing up from the table.
“Why are you leaving so soon? You said you were having a good time! Five times!”
“I did,” Otis says. “And I think you’re a wonderful fox spirit, with incredible passion for… your passions. I just… I think you may be happier with someone who shares them.”
“You…” Dotti’s eyes narrow into tiny slits and she grips his hand even harder. “You’re ruining the date!”
Should I intervene?
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