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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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File 137149040177.png - (12.41KB , 691x495 , 1.png )
517583 No. 517583 ID: 34cbef

Hello and Salutations! This is commander whatevermynameis (to be delegated upon by the audience). I am a commander of the somethingofacoolname (also done by the audience).
My job is to explore the vast reaches of space and to catalogue the furthest reaches that Peeps can ever go.
You are joining the starpeep adventures of Peep Commander

>charcter name
>ship name
Expand all images
No. 517597 ID: d59dc9

>Peepoleon Bonaparte

No. 517610 ID: a1bc67

No. 517615 ID: 5869f6

Chirp Vas Cluckington

Glaive of the Cosmos
No. 517616 ID: 88ef92


No. 517617 ID: 37aa84

>Commander Fluffbottom
No. 517619 ID: c23ab0

Jean Luc Picard
USS Enterprise
No. 517624 ID: cd1119

>Jean Cluck Peckard
No. 517625 ID: 34cbef
File 137150214247.png - (9.35KB , 691x495 , 2.png )

Jean Cluck Peckard hurries through the decks of peep command space hub. He doesn't wish to be late for his coronation into commander-hood.
He has been given charge of the fabulous cruiser known as the USS Shaniqua.
No. 517626 ID: 34cbef
File 137150223191.png - (12.03KB , 691x495 , 3.png )

He decides to stop by the ship hanger to look at his beautiful ship. Take in all that glorious splendor, yes this is by far one of peep commands best space cruisers to date.
No. 517628 ID: 34cbef
File 137150238641.png - (8.83KB , 691x495 , 4.png )

Jean cluck is speechless to it's beauty.

Jean Cluck: ... this is my ship?

Scooty, the ships chief engineer chimes in.
Scooty: Sure is captain, but you better hurry- the big party is about to begin.

And so Jean cluck vamooses as fast as he can outta there to get to the stage.
No. 517629 ID: 34cbef
File 137150291190.png - (7.00KB , 530x355 , 5.png )

And the coronation begins.

Host: Today we honor one of our top students in peep space academy, Jean Cluck Peckard. Earning respectable marks as both captain, diplomat and strategist. I am here to represent you with the patch that signifies that you have attained the status of Commander in the Peepcore. Are you ready to take the pledge now?

Jean Cluck: I am

Host: Jean Cluck Peckard, do you swear by the united peep core of free peeps to uphold the peep code?

Jean Cluck: I do

Host: To venture deep into the farthest reaches of space to catalogue and if need be protect the alien life forms on distant planets?

Jean Cluck: I do

Host: Are you willing to go the distance to protect those that serve under you with honor, duty, and willingness to sacrifice your life

Jean Cluck: I do

Host: Then today I mark that Jean Cluck Peckard is hereby granted the ability to captain the ship Uss Shaniqua for the betterment of peep kind.

The crowd cheers as the host gives Jean cluck a handshake.

Host: So where do you wish to explore first?

>insert planet name here
No. 517631 ID: c23ab0

No. 517638 ID: c31f72

The planet of the naked catgirls
No. 517643 ID: 01531c

The PlayBoy®©™ planet. They'll probably file an injunction against the federation, but what better way is there to show off your beauty of a ship except to steal the spotlight the other chicks?
No. 517649 ID: 37aa84

I believe it's customary to answer Uranus as a joke.
No. 517650 ID: 91c1b3

No. 517654 ID: 88ef92

Of course the planet of the Beauty Salon Owners. This is the best place for you to get information to help you with your quest.
No. 517676 ID: d59dc9

Hamburger Hill
No. 517772 ID: bc3b41

Come now, this is a very solemn occasion; it requires a properly solemn (and excessively sappy) response! Such as: "In whatsoever place the Peepcore has need of me!"
No. 517776 ID: 91c1b3

or "Where no peep has gone before!"
No. 517778 ID: 34cbef
File 137154691046.png - (12.12KB , 530x355 , 6.png )

Jean Cluck: the first planet i'll make contact with... WILL BE NEKOMINOR!!! CLOSEST PLANET OF THE CATGIRLS!!!
No. 517779 ID: 34cbef
File 137154708285.png - (7.64KB , 530x355 , 7.png )

Gasps and murmuring can be heard from around the deck.

peep1: but why visit those barbarians...

peep2: I heard they beam aboard their enemies ships and eat peeps as if they were candy

Peep1: i heard that they torture peeps with mind games and horrible weapons
No. 517780 ID: 34cbef
File 137154721558.png - (5.07KB , 530x355 , 8.png )

Jean Cluck: I need volunteers to take on this dangerous mission, A crew brave enough to help me in my attempts to form negotian and peace with the Catgirls. Do I have anyone who has the gusto?
No. 517781 ID: 34cbef
File 137154746950.png - (4.33KB , 530x355 , 9.png )

Scooty: I'm in, but we're gonna need 8 other peeps. Heck we could take anyone from inside the Peep treaty alliance!

>make up names and if willing the races for the 8 other crew members
No. 517782 ID: bc3b41

Ahahaha, the minute he said "planet of the catgirls" it clicked and I realized we'd made a terrible error...or at least a completely different suggestion than previously believed.
No. 517827 ID: 37aa84

Oh look, here comes Red shirt first class Witasidogravy.
No. 517828 ID: d59dc9

get a catgirl named Anyanka with you.
No. 517833 ID: b92bfb

>> Lawrence of the Arabian idiots
>>Bernard cluckenbell
> giant chicken
>>billy bonkers
> human
that's all I have for now
No. 517845 ID: 91c1b3

A mouse science officer named (Mister) Squeak.
No. 517846 ID: 19b3c3

I demand there be a peep Geordi expy with a visor that somehow encompasses the beak.

And I shall call him Birdi La Forge.
No. 517849 ID: 88ef92
File 137157232631.jpg - (20.86KB , 400x379 , peepicus.jpg )

I am Peepicus Decimus Meridius. My family was killed by catgirls, and I will have my vengeance.
No. 517856 ID: 34cbef
File 137157882859.png - (12.03KB , 474x355 , 10.png )

A peep raises his hand in the audience.

Witasidogravy: I witasidogravy want to join the USS Shaniqua, Me and my friend Lawrence!

Lawrence: What!?
No. 517857 ID: 34cbef
File 137157902768.png - (12.07KB , 595x430 , 11.png )

Birdi: Birdi La Forge, Science expert willing to come aboard commander.

Peepicu: Peepicus Decimus Meridias is willing to be your security against them terrible catgirls
No. 517858 ID: 34cbef
File 137157920086.png - (9.41KB , 595x430 , 12.png )

Captain Perk: Yes, even I captain Perk is willing to help out- Though i'm not gonna come aboard your ship i can send you diplomats of other races to help you with negotiations.

Jean Cluck: It's an Honor captain Perk
No. 517860 ID: 34cbef
File 137157939526.png - (10.98KB , 595x430 , 13.png )

Captain Perk: Yes, in my voyages as a commander I have seen many things and learned many more. But the days of old are long since gone and due to troubled times for the peeps it's up to new commanders such as this with a fine crew as these brave peeps here to take to the skies.
Yes, something tells me that this next generation will be a decent one for peep command. God speed Commander Peckard.
No. 517862 ID: 34cbef
File 137157959480.png - (3.25KB , 595x430 , 14.png )

*Peep Command intro music*

Time to choose which of the diplomats you wish to introduce first
>Bernard Cluckenbell
No. 517863 ID: c31f72

Anyanka sounds like the most female name. So her. We need more chicks on this ship. Like atleast two.
No. 517864 ID: 19b3c3


Hmm. I think we forgot to include a medical officer, though. Considering contact with the catgirl planet is going to result in either sexytimes or horrible bloodshed, we're going to need one.

>pick diplomat
If we're going to the catgirl planet, we should probably meet with the catgirl ambassador first. Anyanka.
No. 517865 ID: 91c1b3

Anyanka. (I'll come for you later Squeek)
No. 517867 ID: 3e4b6e

>Masked red peep.
Does he go 3x as fast?
No. 517901 ID: 34cbef
File 137159157097.png - (5.24KB , 507x363 , 15.png )

No. 517902 ID: 34cbef
File 137159175639.png - (10.77KB , 678x525 , 16.png )

Anyanka: hello, I'm one of the diplomats sent by Perk.

Jean Cluck: Ah yes, hello. My name is Jean Cluck Peckard, I am glad you are going to be part of my crew for this little adventure of mine.

Anyanka: anyanka, Perk says you have alot of potential. He's been watching you since you joined the peepcore, do not disappoint captain peckard.

Jean Cluck: Of course
No. 517903 ID: 34cbef
File 137159188803.png - (7.42KB , 507x363 , 17.png )

Jean Cluck: Now if you follow me this way i'll escort you to your quarters.

Anyanka: ... I was sort of expecting a rundown ghetto interior, the hull was very... assuming.

Jean Cluck: y-yeah.... I'm sure the shaniqua is a very fine ship though.

Anyanka: As do I.

Jean Cluck: heh heh
No. 517904 ID: 34cbef
File 137159199192.png - (5.44KB , 507x363 , 18.png )

Jean Cluck: And right here is the door to your chambers, since the other diplomats haven't arrived you can make yourself at home. I'm going to have a little party in the mess hall to get everyone better acquainted so please sit tight.
No. 517905 ID: 34cbef
File 137159202258.png - (5.67KB , 507x363 , 19.png )

Anyanka: ...cozy
No. 517906 ID: 34cbef
File 137159208569.png - (5.50KB , 507x363 , 20.png )

Anyanka: Might aswell take this off now. I'm surprised they are so afraid of me.
No. 517907 ID: 34cbef
File 137159217860.png - (9.12KB , 507x363 , 21.png )

Anyanka: I do hope this captain is decent a host as Perk.

Time to choose the next diplomat!
>Bernard Cluckenbell
No. 517916 ID: 19b3c3

Squeek next, I guess. Cat and mouse.
No. 517917 ID: 88ef92

No. 517966 ID: c23ab0


I mean Squeak.
No. 517982 ID: 91c1b3

Squeek's time has come.
No. 518040 ID: 9ddf68

Squeak because I can see no way things could go wrong with a name like that.
No. 518049 ID: f29aa1

No. 518075 ID: 34cbef
File 137164272833.png - (7.55KB , 503x346 , 22.png )

Mister Squeek: Hello, I'm Squenzia'apara Kuenekienya. My acquaintances call me Mister Squeek. I was sent by Captain Perk, he had told me you needed members for your crew, I am a very efficient science officer and navigator.

Jean Cluck: Ah, perfect. I'll escort you to your cabin then. I am Jean Cluck Peckard and I hope we will be great friends in the future mister squeek.
No. 518076 ID: 34cbef
File 137164289532.png - (5.41KB , 503x346 , 23.png )

Jean Cluck: and here are your quarters, you will be in between the other diplomats. Anyanka has arrived but we have still one more before we can all formally introduce ourselves. As soon as the last diplomat arrives i'll make an announcement for everyone to meet at the mess hall.

Mister Squeek: Understood captain.

Jean Cluck: Please make yourself at home and i'll see you in just a little while.
No. 518077 ID: 34cbef
File 137164297011.png - (3.54KB , 503x346 , 24.png )

Mister Squeek: I believe I will introduce myself to the other diplomat before this dinner meeting.
No. 518078 ID: 34cbef
File 137164298875.png - (3.60KB , 503x346 , 25.png )

No. 518079 ID: 34cbef
File 137164329479.png - (6.92KB , 503x346 , 26.png )

The subtle clanging on the door as squeek knocks.

Anyanka: Yes, what can I- w-wh-hello.

Mister Squeek: Hello, I am Squeek. You are the other diplomat sent by Perk, are you not?

Anyanka: I am... Anyanka, nice to meet you.

Squeek: I wished to extend a merit of greeting before anyone else so as to make social chatter to a minimum. I hope that we can be as efficient to the captain and that we all work together with great synergy and pride.

Anyanka: y-yeah... i guess me too?

Squeek: Good, then I will see you and everyone else at dinner.

Anyanka: Yeah- sure.
No. 518080 ID: 34cbef
File 137164337147.png - (9.65KB , 648x444 , 27.png )

Anyanka loses her composure for a second, but only a second, for she suddenly holds herself back.
No. 518082 ID: 34cbef
File 137164369959.png - (9.12KB , 648x444 , 28.png )

Bernard: You must be captain Peckard, Perk has mentioned alot about you.

Jean Cluck: Ah yes, and you must be one of the diplomats that perk sent then.

Bernard: Yes, name's bernard cluckenbell From hatchery prime. It's nice to meet you. Please, i'll let you lead the way to my quarters.

Jean Cluck: Of course mister cluckenbell, As a matter of fact now that you're here I can get the dinner arrangements ready. A decent amount of food and drink-

Bernard: Ah yes, to break the ice with everyone. I like that idea, it's been a while since i last ate.

You can now take the perspective of any of the characters introduced at this point
>choose your character
No. 518092 ID: d1d627

science mouse! FOR SCIENCE!
But if we end up in the cat girl I expect he will be eaten.
No. 518094 ID: 19b3c3

So catgirls like mice more than birds, huh?

...dangit, still no medical officer. I hope we have a dang good automated medbay, then, because someone's getting hurt sooner or later.

>who play
If we went with Peckard, we could make up a speech. Or Birdi would let us shift the whole thing into visor-vision.
No. 518107 ID: 91c1b3

(Be captain perk sitting in his office. I also love the bell clasp for Anyanka's cloak)
Be Squeek.

Cluckenbell might be a medical officer, we're not sure what his specialty is.
No. 518115 ID: 9f7acd

Control Mr Squeek, and have him hit on the catgirl. This cannot end badly.

>So catgirls like mice more than birds, huh?
Or at the very least she's been around peeps long enough to get over it. Mice, not so much.
No. 518126 ID: 00d261

No. 518149 ID: 76891f

obviously Peepicus Jean Cluck
No. 518171 ID: 00d261


I though he was secretly a robot so he can be BFFs with Birdi.
No. 518174 ID: 9ddf68

Anyanka just to see what goes through her mind around Squeak
No. 518181 ID: beeca1

Nono, Peepicus Finch
No. 518189 ID: 34cbef
File 137167706458.png - (7.24KB , 461x314 , 29.png )

The intercom chimes in as the announcement is made by the captain to come to the mess hall for a 'gettting to know the crew' party.

Mister squeek finishes his packing then heads to the mess hall.
No. 518190 ID: 34cbef
File 137167720057.png - (7.41KB , 461x314 , 30.png )

Squeek finds that there is a table set aside for the captain and the diplomats.

Mister Squeek: Hello captain, may I take a seat?

Jean Cluck: Of course Mister Squeek
No. 518191 ID: 34cbef
File 137167764122.png - (4.23KB , 358x314 , 31.png )

The captain begins with idle chatter to open the table up for conversation. Cluckenbell is kind to respond... and with no shortage of words. Mister Squeek takes note that Bernard Cluckenbell is a very 'chatty' bird.
Mister Squeek also observes how The diplomat Anyonka does not engage in conversation but seems to keep a steady... stare of some sort, unwavering.

Intriguing yet unsettling. Mister Squeek is unsure of how to proceed.

No. 518192 ID: 735f4f

Ask her opinion on your mission.
No. 518195 ID: 00d261

No. 518196 ID: 9ddf68

well might as well say hi, who knows maybe she likes you but is to shy to say anything.
No. 518198 ID: 01531c

Flirt heavily, with a deadpan monotone.
No. 518200 ID: 5869f6

She wants a staring contest?
No. 518203 ID: 19b3c3

Ask her about her style of dress, maybe? Loose robes and a hood are an unusual choice in a spacefaring culture that generally favors more functional, formfitting and less bulkly clothes. It's obviously a conscious choice- loose material is potential hazard, incurs greater cost, and should not be necessary for warmth on a climate controlled vessel. Since she has not made what one would think is the logical decision, we can safely infer she has some other reason for dressing as she does.
No. 518214 ID: 91c1b3

Ask where she learned her unusual method of diplomacy. Was it created to cause the opposing group to be unsettled so as to hold a firmer grasp in negotiations? Fascinating.

(Squeek is Spock, and A[nyan]ka is Raven, so who is Jean?)
No. 518228 ID: 34cbef
File 137168960944.png - (9.50KB , 292x379 , 32.png )

Mister Squeek prepares his eyes for an optical battle of epic proportions. Using special Mous-shul arts squeek dilates the pupils of his eyes and toughens his tear ducts against agitation.

In his usual feelingless speech patterns that most of his race displays, he begins to open up channels of conversation with the diplomat Anyanka.

Mister Squeek: Diplomat Anyanka, I do believe that negotiations with the catgirls on Nekominor will be... troublesome. I'm sure You have an opinion on this mission, do you not?

Anyanka holds a steady silence.

Mister Squeek: I have observed that you are wearing intricate attire, since we will be staying on a climate controlled ship I assume that it is not dress for temperate areas. Is this attire meant for special occasions? I must say it does look a pleasing dark blue.

Anyanka still holds the silence.

Mister Squeek: It must have been rude of me to refer to you by name without introducing myself, I am Squenzia'apara Kuenekienya, If it is easier you may refer to me as Mister Squeek.

The only response is subtle undulation in Anyankas pupils... similar to a... cats amusement? Mister Squeek will keep this in mind.
Along with this futile attempt at conversation Mister Squeeks patience is running thin.

Mister Squeek: Your skills in conversation seem inefficient to me, It begs the question on if you were a relevant choice to our mission or if maybe you had skills yet to be known. If none of these I would have to say that the necessity of you on this mission is of not.

At this Anyanka finally opens her mouth to speak.
No. 518230 ID: f595d3

"Take me now!" said whilst flinging table coverings aside
No. 518233 ID: c23ab0


Changing my vote to this.
No. 518234 ID: d1d627

Oh boy. There's about to be a diplomatic incident. We may have chosen poorly...
No. 518235 ID: 34cbef
File 137169027666.png - (5.60KB , 292x379 , 33.png )

Anyanka: My feelings of the mission are neutral, It will be a challenge for us to make a friend of a needlessly hostile people, for which I was specially chosen. Yes, my attire is dress attire of my people but it can be worn formally and casually. Thank you on the compliment. It is a pleasure to meet you Mister Kuenekienya, My formal name is Anyanka Tiggles- I'm the third daughter of a long lived lineage. I am sorry if my conversational skills are not on par with the advanced charisma that is the Meesen, but don't insult my aptitudes that relate to this crew. I doubt that either of us will be temporary members of this crew and I hope you keep this in mind if we are to be frequently exposed to each other.

Mister Squeek is surprised, for a little bit. He still needs a second to think of more topical conversation, now that the channels of conversation have been opened.

No. 518236 ID: 735f4f

Ask her about her pretty necklace/bell.
No. 518237 ID: c23ab0

Converse about what looks good on the menu?
No. 518239 ID: d1d627

I suppose I may have misjudged you, although you have demonstrated a pattern of delayed responses, is that a trend of your people, or is it the case that it is unique to you? It is unnerving the way you focus on me beyond all else.
No. 518245 ID: 9ddf68

hope you still haven't blinked we can still win this thing.
No. 518258 ID: 5869f6

No. 518299 ID: 01531c

Order food for the pretty cat girl.
Ask what dish she would prefer.
Waggle eyebrows suggestively.
No. 518335 ID: 99ee53

ask her if she's alright.
No. 518362 ID: 34cbef
File 137174519517.png - (13.51KB , 720x423 , 34.png )

Mister Squeek is far from calling defeat, Meesen are surprisingly strong when it comes to contests of willpower and endurance. But to press an advantage mister squeek repetitively shrinks and enlarges his pupils.

Mister Squeek: I suppose I may have misjudged you, although you have demonstrated a pattern of delayed responses, is that a trend of your people, or is it the case that it is unique to you?

Anyanka: Oh? I do not know in the slightest of what you mean, I was merely absorbing your words and formulating a reply.

Mister Squeek: Mmm-hmm, I must say that is a very nice trinket around your neck, is it per chance a large bell? It is very ... aesthetically pleasing.

Anyanka: Thank you, it was given to me by my mother.

Mister Squeek: That is very nice. I must say I am becoming quite famished, What are you ordering?

Anyanka: I ... believe... I might order the... the... fish...

Anyankas composure is beginning to slip. It seems the pupil dilations are very effective.

Mister Squeek: Are you alright, diplomat?

Anyanka: I'm perfectly fine.

Mister Squeek can tell that she is lying, it seems that he is on the verge of winning this contest of wills. Then suddenly his competitive spirit wavers for just a second as his Meesen intellect starts putting pieces together of a blatantly obvius puzzle. This diplomat woman isn't a human, but the clues tell that she is a catgirl. Keeping her composure around the peeps has helped her cloak this identity. Mister squeek realizes that he is currently shattering her composure which might reveal to everyone what she is. If mister sqeek continues, he may be forced to use his meesen sleep grip to neutralize an agitated catgirl. If he does decide to continue, to conquer this foe, he will need to form the perfect attack of words to shatter what little composure she has. All the pieces have been gathered for such an attack, but how to put them together?

Mister Squeek knows that he must speak his next words carefully.

>continue? give in?
>if continue, pick your words carefully
No. 518363 ID: bf54a8

give in, you wont really lose, since you knew you could win. but agitatng a fellow diplomat to the point of losing it would reflect poorly on both of you.
No. 518364 ID: 76891f
File 137174657279.jpg - (36.64KB , 720x427 , 199307_199625640060958_5093191_n.jpg )

Squeakin' "

Look her longingly in the eyes.
Wave tail on last line for double whammy
No. 518365 ID: 76891f

>implying this isn't going to turn into a romance of epic proportions that crosses all barriers.
and gets someone eaten probably
No. 518366 ID: 99ee53

is she paws-itive? she doesn't look like she's feline good right meow. no knead tabby ashamed and purrtend, especially beclaws her ruse is transpurrent.
No. 518367 ID: d1d627

I suspect perhaps we got off on the wrong foot. We are still part of the same crew, and thus, should be willing to watch each other's backs. But if you are having difficulty maintaing your composure, perhaps we could meet at a later time and improve your grasp of retoric? I would think that if a simple conversation could rattle you so, you might not fare so well in actual negotiations.
No. 518368 ID: 19b3c3

Why should we shatter her composure and expose her identity? Now that you know what she is, there is no reason not to allow her continue.

If she has hidden her true nature for the sake of diplomacy, then unmasking her is counterproductive. And if she is a spy or up to some kind of deceit, it is better not to unmask her. A spy or infiltrator, once discovered, can be controlled, manipulated, and fed false information once you are aware of their identity. So long as the spies believes their cover is intact.

Discovering her true purpose, and either aiding in her game of undercover diplomacy, or manipulating a covert agent to your own purposes, is a task truly worthy of your Meesen intellect.
No. 518369 ID: 9f7acd

This. Causing a scene is not an advantage.
No. 518406 ID: c23ab0

Commander: break the tension smoothly by asking Anyanka what we can expect from her home planet of "Nekominor, the closest planet of the catgirls."
No. 518445 ID: 01531c

Do you have Prequel on the brain? Gratuitous Cat Puns =! H.F.S.
No. 518457 ID: 01531c

Howabout a game of misdirection then?
Squeek is very smooth, so he could pull a Bond Maneuver to transpose Anyanka's thoughts of getting politically uncovered with thoughts of getting intimately 'uncovered'.
No. 518535 ID: 34cbef
File 137183838937.png - (7.89KB , 445x301 , 35.png )

Mister Squeek decides not to make a scene of the situation, it would be more fruitful to succumb.
No. 518536 ID: 34cbef
File 137183854575.png - (8.79KB , 459x330 , 36.png )

Anyanka looks surprised. Sad even, but not paying any mind to the situation, being completely oblivious, Mister Cluckenbell continues his long banter trying to include Anyanka and the rest of the table. Eventually we all start conversing casually, Anyanka more reserved then before.
No. 518537 ID: 34cbef
File 137183863504.png - (62.83KB , 832x560 , 37.png )

And as the banquet ends the Uss Shaniqua undocks from Peep command to go out to planets unknown, explore the vast reaches of space and to be the


plays theme
No. 518539 ID: 34cbef
File 137183899082.png - (8.18KB , 503x354 , kweh.png )

We will return you to your regularly scheduled program, but first a word from out sponsor:

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Get your stuff, TODAY!!!
No. 518549 ID: c23ab0

No. 518550 ID: 1b3478

I'm broke. can I pay in sexual favors instead?
No. 518551 ID: 34cbef
File 137184446237.png - (295.12KB , 497x366 , 38.png )

Captains log, Peepdate 65776clum: It has been only a month since my graduation from commander/captain academy yet I feel like I've gained experience of an ancient zealot. There have been... minor hiccups with our travel to Nekominor, starting with the incident where our single engineer spilled oatmeal into the warpdrive engines... Needless to say we are a few star systems off course then we should be. That means that it will take another month or so before we can reach our designated point of interest. A note i'm adding, I find that the social awkwardness between my chief navigator Mister Squeek and the diplomat Anyanka have started to become contagious. They constantly get into feuds of staring contests, occasionally in the middle of the hallways. I have yet to see them share a room other then the bridge or openly converse with each other without the assistance of the other crew members.

I believe I should begin an actual log without finding things on my ship to critique, but this is not going to be the one... Though I'm informed by Mister squeek that there is an odd anomaly 30 yards from the ship, the scanners cannot identify it and i'm unsure of how to proceed at this point.
This is the end of the log, Captain Peckard out.

No. 518552 ID: bf54a8

bring it on screen. maybe we can eyeball it.
No. 518553 ID: 19b3c3

>surprised. Sad even
She wanted to be bested? Or she's disappointed we conceded before she could win or lose? Huh. Hope we made the right call.

>starting with the incident where our single engineer spilled oatmeal into the warpdrive engines
Hey, you're not allowed to get upset when he spills things! He's blind, you jerk!

Put it on screen, of course. Attempt to recalibrate scanners, and see if the science types have any technobabble to offer.
No. 518554 ID: 9ddf68

well if the damn thing is only 30 yards out then what the hell is stopping you from looking at it through the window or "viewing port" if you want to be fancy about it.
No. 518559 ID: 34cbef
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Jean Cluck: Put this anomaly on main screen, I want to see what it looks like.

Mister Squeek: Anomaly is on screen captain.

Jean Cluck: .... what is that, Zoom in closer Mister Squeek.

Mister Squeek: It's at max image size captain. I'm inconclusive with what it is either.

Anyanka: should we shoot it captain?

No. 518562 ID: bf54a8

try some inverted tachyons, that always helps
No. 518564 ID: 19b3c3

>shoot it
Shouldn't Peepicu be making the violent suggestions?

Anyways, you don't shoot unless it appears or acts hostile.

First thing to do is to attempt hailing it! And if that fails, to ask your science team for any theories about the anomaly, and any technobabble solutions they have to offer.
No. 518574 ID: 312762

I... what
Is that...
is that a bird.
is that a spacebird.

Get closer
No. 518576 ID: 5869f6

wait what the fuck
the fuck is
is that
the fuck
No. 518577 ID: 19b3c3

Oh sure, if it were a space whale everyone would be cool, but their minds break when you give them a space bird.

Stupid mammalian prejudices and space-as-a-sea metaphors preventing you from accepting a perfectly reasonable space-as-a-sky metaphor.
No. 518579 ID: d1d627

...Is that a peep? What is a peep. Why is it out there? wouldn't it have died horribly?
That's strange, but it shouldn't be TOO dangerous, but let's not get too close incase there's something we don't know about.
No. 518583 ID: b93170

I see a bird, does anyone else see a bird
No. 518604 ID: 5869f6

No. 518607 ID: 1b3478

hail it.
No. 518612 ID: 9f7acd

Ready weapons, but try to communicate first.
No. 518619 ID: 34cbef
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Jean Cluck: Hold on, we don't want to make a bad impression if it's some alien vessel. Open hailing frequencies in all languages, Give them a usual hello.

Mister Squeek: hailing now captain

Kweh: HELLO MORTALS!!!!! I am Kweh, KING OF ALL THE THINGS, and you are infringing upon my home.

Jean Cluck: I am Jean Cluck Peckard, Captain of the Uss Shaniqua. We do not mean you any harm, we ju-

Kweh: comingaboardnow moon capy-tan
No. 518622 ID: 34cbef
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Anyanka: He's on our ship

Mister Squeek: sensors aren't showing otherwise, he travelled through our monitor onto the bridge sir

No. 518625 ID: 5869f6

No. 518627 ID: 01531c

Ask Kweh what he has for sale.
No. 518628 ID: 312762

Welcome aboard then. How can we help you.
No. 518634 ID: bf54a8

how many stelonian dollors do you have on hand captain?
No. 518635 ID: 01531c

They can just Replicate stelonian dollars.
No. 518639 ID: 9f7acd

No. 518644 ID: 735f4f

Quick challenge him to 5D chess!
No. 518648 ID: 9ddf68

...huh, well that's new
No. 518659 ID: 37aa84

Ask what precisely are his intentions.
No. 518666 ID: 19b3c3

>Kweh is Q

Hello then, and welcome aboard. What is it you want?
No. 518756 ID: 3a3fd8

No. 518764 ID: 34cbef
File 137191135990.png - (19.41KB , 646x511 , 42.png )

Jean Cluck: w-Welcome aboard... what exactly are your intentions here?

Kweh: Well thank ya for letting me on your ship, this is purely for business. And do I have some offers for YOU GUYS!!! I've got all the latest top-of-the-line Kweh merchandise, and for this time only everything is 50% OFF!!!! I've got Kweh powered kweh rods, fancy kweh zappers, kweh cook books, and MUCH MUCH MORE!!! Don't worry, I have to stress that EVERYTHING is 50% off!!!!!
That's right, You can get your very own Kweh backyard barbecuing grill FOR ONLY 9,899,144.99 STELONIAN DOLLORS!!!!
No. 518766 ID: 34cbef
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Jean Cluck: ... wha... stelonian? As in Sylvester Stallone?

No. 518767 ID: 34cbef
File 137191180091.png - (11.42KB , 693x478 , 44.png )

Kweh: What about you, miss? You look like a girl who needs herself THE CUDDLY PLUSH KWEH for the low low price of 4,599.99 STELONIAN DOLLORS!!!

Anyanka: ....

Captain peckard is finding it hard to figure whether this being is joking or somewhat confused. The peep federation has never heard of a stelonian, the currency that's dealt with are credits. Jean cluck is unsure of how to proceed without troubling his un-invited gues.

No. 518769 ID: 37aa84

Inform him you've never heard of stelonian dollars so you're only carrying credits, which means you unfortunately cannot afford any of his admittedly fine quality merchandise.
No. 518771 ID: bf54a8

yes, you are quite poor in the stelonian department and unfortunately cannot afford any of his fabulous products. if you had anyone then you would certainly have bought the lot.
No. 518773 ID: 19b3c3

Oh, Kweh is Q and the Melnorme.

Inform your guest that regrettably your vessel does not carry stelonian dollars for trade. Unless Kweh is willing to accept some alternative form of currency or payment, you regret that you may be unable to do business with him.
No. 518781 ID: 735f4f

Quick challenge him to 5D chess!
No. 518783 ID: 5869f6

No. 518791 ID: 37aa84

Sir, I'm going have to ask you to calm down before the King of All the Things starts thinking you don't appreciate his company.
No. 518793 ID: 3a3fd8

ask it what would happen if one of us tried to eat it.
No. 518800 ID: c23ab0

Just ignore him. Maybe he'll go away.
No. 518875 ID: b99cb6

Ask it what the conversion rate between your credits and stelonians is.
No. 519200 ID: 34cbef
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Jean Cluck: We didn't intend to intrude on your territory, and we don't have stelonian dollors... the alliance only deals in credits as currency...
No. 519201 ID: 34cbef
File 137209746997.png - (5.26KB , 457x450 , 46.png )

Kweh: ...

Jean Cluck: I-is there... any sorta, uh, exchange rate? Or can you... ya know... go away?
No. 519202 ID: 34cbef
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Kweh suddenly grabs the captains head with his hands (shut up, in this world they can have hand... wing... things).
With an ominous look The being known as kweh speaks.

Kweh: No friend, there is no exchange rate here. But do not worry. There is a way that you can earn stelonian dollors, yes a most perfect way.
No. 519203 ID: 34cbef
File 137209774072.png - (276.31KB , 425x338 , 48.png )

And in the blink of an eye the captian, the diplomat, and the second in command vanish from the bridge of the ship.
No. 519205 ID: 37aa84

Well that's definitely bad. So who's in charge with both the Captain and Second in Command away?
No. 519207 ID: 34cbef
File 137209806837.png - (14.85KB , 611x436 , 49.png )

Do you like guns? Is your office job just that kinda place where you would use a gun? Well Kweh has a great deal for you!!! Yes, now You can purchase this awesome slug thrower Shout-gun.

With this beauty you can just plaster your co-workers against that cheaply construcked wall or paste your bosses head on his bookshelf.

Only 8000 in stock, so you better hurry!

Hers is our number jkal;fjdklf;jagklahd;lsjfk;alhg
That's right, it's ga;lhkl;hnpoemnoiapv;yuinyu

Order one, TODAY!!!
No. 519208 ID: 9ddf68

Aaaahhh shit

...well this should be interesting at least
No. 519209 ID: 19b3c3

Would the ranking officer please report to the bridge? Whoever didn't disappear with the most brass on their collar is now in charge.
No. 519214 ID: c23ab0

Please don't segue to Kweh please don't segue to Kweh please don't segue to Kweh
No. 519215 ID: 5869f6

Too bad we voices can't do SHIT.

No. 519227 ID: 5869f6

I'll take one.

*Whistles Innocently*
No. 519355 ID: f920f8

I'm tempted to shoot my monitor.
No. 527291 ID: 34cbef
File 137475370031.png - (1.51MB , 1278x850 , 50.png )

Witasidogravy looks flabberghasted at the now almost empty bridge, A cold sweat runs down his beak as the realization that he is now the acting captain of the USS Shaniqua.

[Witasidogravy] Um... Captain Peckard?
No. 527292 ID: 34cbef
File 137475404433.png - (339.38KB , 640x302 , 51.png )

Meanwhile somewhere far off, Jean Cluck Peckard is dreaming about hot salty beaches when suddenly he hears the voice of a memorable mousian.

[Jean Cluck] Mister Squeek, I'd have you know I don't like being roused while on my vacation to the hawaii islands.

[Squeek] But captain, we are not on the Hawaiian islands, nor are we on the same planet. I would advise you rouse from your daydream sir.

[Jean Cluck] Good heavens... where in the blazes are we

[Squeek] Unsure as of yet, the being known as Kweh had used some sort of... matter manipulation power to transport us to a far distant plant. Similar to the transporters we have on the Shaniqua

[Jean Cluck] Well then mister squeek, what do you suggest we do about our situation

>squeeky suggestions
No. 527318 ID: c95833

Don't worry, you can get the blind guy to drive. Everything will be fiiine.

I suppose we should look around. Anyanka disapeared from the bridge as well, it's possible she is somewhere nearby.

Kweh said there would be some means to earn stelonian dollors. Presumably we must determine what this task is, and complete it, if we are to return to the ship.
No. 527321 ID: bf54a8

dig a shelter.
No. 527361 ID: 9ddf68

if we're here then where's Anyanka?
No. 527428 ID: c23ab0

Open your wallet and count all your stelonian dollars that could have made this entire fiasco completely unneccesary. Repocket your wallet calmly and never speak of it again.
No. 527436 ID: 5869f6

swear, by the nine when we find that fucking Q rip-off WE'RE GOING TO TEAR HIS FUCKING EYES OUT
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