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450563 No. 450563 ID: eba327

Welcome to PornQuest.
This is Nat. She is my character and the starter character.
You can suggest your own characters to "play" with her. There is one character per IP.
If you do not feel like submitting a character of you already have, you can suggest actions for the current roster
Expand all images
No. 450564 ID: 34cbef

this is a joke... right? Meh, got nothing too pressing at the moment-

How bout Edgar the squeemish tentacle monster
No. 450567 ID: d6c330

Julio the blind mole rat.

Since he's blind, he's not going to be able to do his porn quest through a computer screen as the norm. He's limited to braille porn and radio play porn.
No. 450568 ID: 97486c

Nameless, a slime girl.
She's actually sexless but uses her disguise to fool others and then dissolve them with her horrible acidic flesh
No. 450569 ID: bf54a8

viktor the tentacled beast.
No. 450570 ID: d16423

I'm fucking James Joyce baby, I hope your ready for my prick my darling brown-arsed fuckbird
No. 450574 ID: 6a1ec2

My name is Yiffles and I am a Fire Kitsune
No. 450575 ID: f453e3

Well if none of you want to take this at face value I sure will.

I can use Scalene without Typo killing me, right? I pick her.
No. 450576 ID: f453e3

Or maybe dude-Scalene. That exists, right?
No. 450579 ID: 6a1ec2


Actually Scalene has never managed to find his or her genitals before.
No. 450580 ID: f453e3

So dude-Scalene it is then.

With all the snake-ness. Aww yeah.
No. 450582 ID: a3b8c0

The door slams open violently. Through the blinding light you can make out the silhouette of JAMES JOYCE with a depraved voice he calls.
"I hope you tire of frigging your own little cunt for I have returned."
Stepping forward and ready to molest the entirety of Nat's body he pauses for her reaction.
No. 450597 ID: 6a1ec2

Yiffles stands in a shadowy corner and looks around.
No. 450934 ID: 50b072
File 134663516641.png - (23.72KB , 1200x800 , 2.png )

Franklin came over. He is looking for a good time.

He brought his N64 and a bunch of controllers in his backpack.

He has a lot of games but he really wants to play Star Wars Episode I Racer.
No. 450942 ID: c525ad

Aw man dat shit is da bomb

play some strip matches yo

if you're impatient go by lap
No. 450945 ID: 063f2c

No, go by position, every time you fall behind a position you take something off.
No. 450947 ID: 87d89c

Do this, each loss you remove an article of clothing
No. 450948 ID: 997ce7

The Disembodied Angry Skull floats and glares at everyone in utter jealousy.
No. 450980 ID: ee557b

Strip Star Wars Episode I Racer followed by Strip Quest 64.
No. 450993 ID: 14a1d0
File 134664065938.png - (26.49KB , 1024x768 , 3.png )

Kandi enters the room, despite not knowing anyone and not being invited. But, she's ready to work some joysticks, if you know what she means.
No. 450994 ID: 8f1c61


No I am not sure what she means.
No. 451027 ID: 6a1ec2

Yiffles stands in the shadowy corner and waits for something to happen.
No. 451042 ID: 56994b

>Star Wars Racer
Literally kill this person and take their game
No. 451075 ID: 50b072
File 134665048132.png - (44.18KB , 1200x800 , 4.png )

Franklin isn't entirely sure he's comfortable with playing strip video games. It would probably get really awkward.

Besides, he's wearing way more clothes than anyone else; it just wouldn't be fair.
No. 451078 ID: bf54a8

sounds like you're CHICKEN.
No. 451080 ID: 063f2c

Sounds like you need to pre-strip
No. 451084 ID: f2c20c

Okay fine just sit on the couch with the girls and play your video games like a huge virgin.
No. 451120 ID: f72f26
File 134665428274.png - (35.79KB , 900x600 , 5.png )

Glyt the the timid horse Astranian sees the lonely Yiffles and offers him some doritos

"you should join the party, I saw Franklin brought a nintendo, won't that be fun?"
No. 451126 ID: ee557b

Yo what kind of doritos are those if they're cool ranch get in on that shit if they're nacho get out
No. 451146 ID: 6a1ec2

Yiffles is allergic to Doritos. Sie leaves the Internet Forever.
No. 451150 ID: c525ad

No. 451151 ID: 6a1ec2
File 134666030397.png - (124.56KB , 900x600 , y1.png )

No. 451155 ID: 6a1ec2
File 134666056560.png - (93.98KB , 900x600 , y2.png )

No. 451156 ID: 6a1ec2
File 134666085423.png - (111.01KB , 900x600 , y3.png )

No. 451157 ID: 6a1ec2
File 134666087865.png - (93.24KB , 900x600 , y4.png )

No. 451158 ID: 6a1ec2
File 134666089815.png - (51.64KB , 900x600 , y5.png )

No. 451167 ID: 34cbef

okay 1- i don't understand this quest
2- whut
3- how do i get in on this
and finally
4- turn the ashes into milkshakes for the gang
No. 451192 ID: 997ce7

As part of point 1, I'd like to ask if the guy who keeps naming himself after spices and states starting with C is the author with a dynamic IP, since the art style seems similar.

Also, how are suggestions chosen?

I agree with 4, by the way. The Angry Disembodied Skull is placated by this offer and becomes the Disembodied Skull.
No. 451269 ID: f2c20c

Nah, it's people mimicking the OP. Note that Cumin had the same IP both times.
No. 451495 ID: 14a1d0
File 134672493546.png - (39.51KB , 1024x768 , 6.png )

Oh man, Star Wars Episode 1 Racer. Kandi is all up for that and if Franklin has too many clothes for things to be fair, she can borrow some from Nat. She's not using them and those shorts were really riding up anyway.
No. 451504 ID: cd8c44

who is winning?
No. 451512 ID: eba327

Alright some new rules:
If you draw a thing that counts as a thing that officially happened in the quest.
And also no real people that is kinda weird.

ALSO I had an update drawn but Fennel ninja'd me and now it doesnt make sense anymore, so I can't upload it.
No. 451545 ID: 6a1ec2

Nat: continue plotting their demise.
No. 451584 ID: 75fe35
File 134674220525.png - (20.33KB , 900x900 , hi.png )

Okay whatever, I'm going out on a limb here. Do I have to use a fucking herb name? Is this how you play? I have no fucking idea. Can you make a questdis, plox?

Kali is late. She brought a large amount of bacon with her. Kali says hello to Nat.
No. 451630 ID: 50b072
File 134677035315.png - (35.00KB , 1200x800 , 7.png )

Franklin asks Nat if she wants to play, too.

He has other games that four players can play.

Like Mario Party and Goldeneye and Bomberman and Diddy Kong Racing.

After all, he came over here to play with Nat in the first place.
No. 451631 ID: 4a328b

Nat would rather read a book and watch while they play their video games.
No. 451642 ID: 34cbef
File 134677409029.png - (29.94KB , 949x606 , ham1.png )

Bam goes the door as Phillip comes to the party, armed with a foot of justice and some vidya games to return.
No. 451644 ID: 34cbef
File 134677425236.png - (52.88KB , 949x606 , ham2.png )

"Dammit frank, what's the deal with taking the house's games without telling me... and leaving a note that says -quote unquote- 'Gone to a slumber party, be back whenever.'

I'm here to add life to the party or crash it completely!"
No. 451662 ID: 4a328b

Go to the kitchen and make some snacks, Phillip.
No. 451773 ID: 34cbef
File 134681192822.png - (21.42KB , 604x430 , ham3.png )


fine, cheese and crackers- that's all i'm making.
No. 451774 ID: 50b072
File 134681257550.png - (50.94KB , 1200x800 , 8.png )

Franklin is really confused. He hasn't lived with anyone else for about three years, and even when he did he owned all of his video games. Even if he did have roomies, he certainly wouldn't have left a note about a party since he didn't even know there was one. He just came over to play with Nat.

He explains this to Phillip, figuring that Phillip must be confused too. He says that if Phillip wants to play video games, he has a fourth controller that he can use.
No. 451786 ID: 34cbef
File 134681420049.png - (27.76KB , 604x430 , ham4.png )

Phillip makes his way out of the kitchen.

"... well, huh. You look like the guy that i know- this is 2016 right? anyway, here's snacks for all you... why is Nat almost naked, what kinda party is this?"
No. 451788 ID: 6a1ec2

Philip, the world will make more sense to you when you are right side up.
No. 451791 ID: e3f578

Guys, people keep barging into Nat's house and she isn't reacting or moving at all.
Maybe we should take her to the hospital.
No. 451793 ID: 6e44d2

Nat should get extra almost naked.
No. 451846 ID: f72f26
File 134682212387.png - (33.94KB , 900x600 , 9.png )

Glyt has just witnessed a fox disintigrate before his very eyes.

The realization of his role in the murder is not lost.

He feels a small bit of his sanity slip away.

" . . . the doritos have turned white."
No. 451873 ID: c69043

I laughed really hard at this for some reason.

Eat a Dorito.
No. 451906 ID: 37aa84

You must begin a cult to worship these snack items so they can be placated before they kill another non-believer.
No. 452081 ID: eba327
File 134689976791.gif - (23.39KB , 1200x800 , 3.gif )

Nat takes a break from the party and reviews her original plan.
No. 452083 ID: e3f578

well that's certainly gonna attract the police and/or creeps, not to mention tarnish the reputation of all attendees.
Take it down.
No. 452087 ID: bf54a8

maybe they weren't paying attention? try rubbing someone, nat.
No. 452088 ID: 6a1ec2


They're Cool Ranch, now.
No. 452097 ID: 34cbef
File 134690316354.png - (22.00KB , 605x314 , ham5.png )

fiiiine, i guess i can be square
No. 452117 ID: 900ffa

Orgy? Oooo! I hope they play Blue Monday.
No. 452126 ID: 14a1d0
File 134691055933.png - (40.98KB , 1200x800 , 7.png )

Kandi is distracted by the loud jerk and doesn't notice Yiffles erupt into flames, but after a few seconds she realizes that the whole apartment is filling up with a horrible burning smell and Glyt looks a little unhinged over there. Something is not right here.
No. 452139 ID: 6b4185

No. 452145 ID: 6a1ec2

Grope Glyt until he feels better.
No. 452146 ID: 6a1ec2

Oh hey I just realized what Glyt rhymes with.
No. 452189 ID: 37aa84

>Something is not right here.

I'll say, a guest spontaneously combusted, another appears to be stuck upside down, and an orgy sign has been posted on the building. Obviously something is screwing with reality on you. I mean Philip apparently got hear through some kind of time warp if he's from 2016.
No. 452204 ID: 6a1ec2

The orgy sign was there all along. It's that guests are coming to play vidya instead which is is not right here.

Then again it is Star Wars Racer...
No. 452206 ID: e3f578

Whoever has to strip first because of the established rules of strip Star Wars racer do it now.
Or skip to the first stripping.
I bet it's Franklin
He looks like he sucks a vidya games
No. 452310 ID: eba327
File 134698613374.gif - (24.83KB , 1200x800 , 4.gif )

Cinnamon spends way too much time making a floor plan of the building.
Nat is the blue dot.
Franklin is the dark green dot.
Kandi is the pink dot.
Phillip is the bright green dot.
Yiffles body is the dark grey dot.
Glyt is the light grey dot.
Kali is the brown dot.

The basement is a storage space.
The main floor is a for a store. There's nothing there, though.
The second floor is an office space. Thats where everyone is.
The third floor is Nat's home.
No. 452311 ID: 4a328b

Nat> Go to the party room. Hint: The place with people in it.
No. 452314 ID: 37aa84

Alright we need to remind everyone what kind of party is being thrown. Go down to the party area and unplug the television, then have them move the couch, you'll need the room, we can't just sit around playing video games and randomly getting incinerated and still call it an orgy.
No. 452317 ID: f2c20c

Hey now, people can do things besides sex at orgies. There's just a lot of sex.
No. 452322 ID: 14a1d0
File 134698917298.png - (38.29KB , 1200x800 , 8.png )

>Obviously something is screwing with reality on you.

That's silly. Maybe they're just Cool Ranch or Mayo Explosion flavored Doritos and Glyt just didn't notice until now. Doritos don't just lose the golden color bestowed upon them by their delicious cheesy dust coating for no reason.
No. 452326 ID: e3f578

What have you done! You've abandoned the game!
Now YOU have to strip something off!
No. 452328 ID: 9a34be

The man has a point.
No. 452343 ID: a1e619
File 134699625971.png - (27.05KB , 900x900 , nothanks.png )

Kali goes to eat one of Glyt's white corn chips, until they melt through the bottom of the bowl, and continue to eat their way through the the floor. They are not mayo explosion flavour.

Kali advises Kandi not to eat that.
No. 452359 ID: 12c19f

Hydrochloric Vinegar and Magnesium Sulfate flavor.

Now with more napalm.
No. 452363 ID: 6cc859

Oh well, time to move on to the bacon.

No need to bother preparing it first.
No. 452373 ID: f72f26
File 134700265749.png - (39.47KB , 900x600 , 10.png )

acting on a strange compulsion Glyt breathes deep into the smoke

reality slightly bends before him.

he turns to the floating disembodied skull.
and speaks to it.

"My master the pink haired large chested one has taken of the holy bowl."

. . .

"sacrilege you say? you need but to command me to act great floating skull."
No. 452374 ID: 6a3479
File 134700326917.png - (32.44KB , 900x900 , ohno.png )


This bacon is adamant about not being cooked. It might be past its expiry date.
No. 452375 ID: 12c19f

It's more like before its preparation date...
No. 452377 ID: 9a34be

No. 452382 ID: 31fdc9

No. 452385 ID: f2c20c

Kill the pig! Cut its throat! Spill its blood!
No. 452389 ID: 0c2247

Offer to spare it if it fetchs you some good bacon.
No. 452390 ID: baa3f4
File 134701513969.png - (34.84KB , 900x900 , cant.png )

Kali is trying to prepare the bacon, but her empathy is getting the better of her. She needs encouragement or a conscientious alternative.
No. 452391 ID: d6c330

Breed with it, create horrific mutant bacon children you can execute without guilt.
No. 452403 ID: 4a328b

Bacon is delicious.

Kill it.
No. 452406 ID: 37aa84

This is what is wrong with us. We can't even crush our emotions enough to murder our own meat stuffs. Kali you do the right thing this instant and brutally murder your own meat flavored living thing in cold blood this very instant.
No. 452411 ID: 6cc859

Who ever said bacon needs to be cooked before it's eaten?
No. 452412 ID: 37aa84

I would assume since you need to cook pork then bacon which comes from the same animal would be part of the same issue. This is of course a moot point, if she can't kill it to cook it how can you expect her to start biting off chunks of it's flesh?
No. 452415 ID: 6cbd89

kill him. he's delicious
No. 452420 ID: 4a328b

Put him in a pot with water and gradually increase the temperature. I've heard they don't feel a thing this way!
No. 452421 ID: 3bad4c

Stressed bacon is crappy tasting bacon.
You need to kill bacon quickly and it must not see it coming.
No. 452450 ID: 13ced1

Check Nat's fridge for pre-prepared bacon.
No. 452453 ID: 6cc859

> how can you expect her to start biting off chunks of it's flesh?
Because it's delicious?
No. 452481 ID: 315d30
File 134705906326.png - (19.72KB , 900x900 , mercy.png )


Kali takes the merciful route and decides to kill the pig in a painless method.

Kali needs to find an new activity during the preparation time.
No. 452486 ID: e3f578

This isn't merciful at all!
If this pig is intelligent, he knows exactly what you're doing. He'll be sitting there, waiting for his slow demise as he gets steadily uncomfortable, just waiting.

It would have been more mericful to hang him or shot him in the head.
Or fuck him until he dies from having a crushed pelvis. Like how Amazon's condemned men to death. It's horrifically painful, but well, you died from having too much sex. Every man's dream really. He IS a pig anthro right? I mean he talked. Your killing a midget pig man for god's sake!
Is killing pig people for bacon and cow people for steak legal?
No. 452514 ID: af6611

Glyt seems to have a kill-on pending. Make him kill the pig.
No. 452517 ID: eba327
File 134706777656.gif - (32.69KB , 1200x800 , 5.gif )

Nat asks Kali if by any chance she saw the banner on the front of the building.
No. 452519 ID: 54c7e5

No one looks up! Ever.
No. 452521 ID: 4a328b

Right, an orgy! That's why Kali stopped by, of course. Speaking of which, does Nat know any card games? Something like Capitalism is perfect for parties like this.
No. 452532 ID: 34cbef
File 134707024963.png - (21.09KB , 605x314 , ham6.png )

Suddenly, phillips bloodlust has an awkard surge.

"Hey frank, ever get the feeling that somewhere a bunch of people just want someone to senselessly kill something?"
No. 452549 ID: 315d30
File 134707224097.png - (31.61KB , 900x900 , dunno.png )


Kali informs Nat that, no, she didn't see any sort of banner. Was there even a banner?

Kali adds that if the building truly did sport this so-called 'banner,' that if she saw it, it would be her top priority to take the time to read what it said.
No. 452568 ID: eba327
File 134707615771.gif - (15.65KB , 1200x800 , 6.gif )

The doritos fall through the floor into the main floor.
No. 452569 ID: e3f578

come to the realization that your deposit just got fuuuuuuuucked
So, while your attempt to get fucked failed, at least your bank account got bent over the table.
No. 452570 ID: eba327
File 134707642706.gif - (82.60KB , 1200x800 , 7.gif )

The sprinklers go off on the main floor. They do not go off on the 2nd or 3rd floor because of plumbing issues Nat hasn't fixed.
No. 452574 ID: 1329b9

Do you know what this calls for?

Everybody pile in! Phillip is the judge!
No. 452575 ID: eba327
File 134707767335.gif - (450.63KB , 1200x800 , 8.gif )

No one notices the sprinklers go off, because it starts raining really hard.
There's lightning and everything.
No. 452580 ID: 50b072
File 134707845263.png - (34.95KB , 1200x800 , 9.png )

Franklin takes his sweater off because it's starting to get warm with all of these people in the room. It's totally not because of strip video games. Totally not.


W-what? Franklin never has that sort of idea about anything ever. That's just horrible.


Well shoot. Franklin can't very well take his video games out in the rain. It looks like he's going to have to stick around until it lets up.
No. 452592 ID: f453e3

I am totally okay with the direction this has taken.

This seems like a perfect opportunity for a large, male, scarcely clothed, generally Scalene-colored naga to introduce himself as Cathos and explain that he has been summoned here by Nat's admittedly-lackluster attempts at starting an orgy.

And then ask Franklin if he has a copy of Super Smash Bros. because Cathos would definitely be down for that.

(That is, if any artist is willing. I see there are several.)

(... please?)
No. 452604 ID: 14a1d0
File 134708534886.gif - (108.35KB , 1200x800 , 9.gif )

During the commotion with the combustible tortillas, Kandi notices Kali stuffing a live pig into a pot. She rushes in and rescues the poor creature, saving it from it's gruesome fate.

Kandi lectures Kali on how she should treat all living things with kindness and respect. Boiling pigs alive is very wrong... Boiling is terrible for meat. You need to lull it into a false sense of security, then slit it's throat or it will get all gamey.

Suddenly, the lights flicker and go out.
The storm must have knocked out the power.

No. 452606 ID: bf54a8

good thing you already havea knife, kill the eyes.
No. 452610 ID: 34cbef
File 134708657160.png - (22.09KB , 647x418 , ham7.png )

"WOAH, what happened to the lights!?"
No. 452612 ID: 6a1ec2




No. 452615 ID: 1329b9

No. 452665 ID: 37aa84

Kandi: Continue holding the pig in your cleavage and have Kali give Glyt the knife. Glyt looks like a perfectly reasonable boy who could be expected to successfully stab a pig without stabbing through to your vulnerable chest.
No. 452848 ID: c78a51
File 134715118870.png - (39.42KB , 900x900 , ow.png )

Kali sticks the knife into one of the eyes moments before the lights flicker on.

Standing before them are hideous aliens, or demons or something.

One of them yelps in pain, grasping at its face. The other is very annoyed. It wanted to just ask about what 'ORGY 2NITE' meant, since it saw the sign.
No. 452850 ID: bf54a8

calmly explain that sneaking up on people gets knifes in the eyes. and an orgy is an incredibly long and complicated mating ritual.
No. 452851 ID: eba327
File 134715339878.gif - (42.66KB , 1200x800 , 9.gif )

Nat asks if anyone else AT ALL saw the banner.
No. 452854 ID: f72f26
File 134715798816.png - (30.44KB , 900x600 , 11.png )

Glyt has a momentary clearness of thought,

"Well Nat *I* read the banner, I understand how you must feel, but Orcy 2: Bloodgut's Revenge just isn't as popular as it used to be, people have moved on . . . on to even OLDER games like episode one racers! but don't feel bad Franklin's a really chill guy if you ask politely I'm sure he'll be more than willing to play a round or two of Orcy with you.

. . .

by the way, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Nat you've forgotten to wear pants . . . again."
No. 452859 ID: 50b072
File 134716199625.png - (28.63KB , 1200x800 , 12.png )


Franklin didn't see any banner at all, he just wanted to play Video Games with Nat.

It looks like some really weird stuff has been going on while he was playing games. He's a bit confused about all of this.
No. 452860 ID: bf54a8

how aliens, teleport a dildo onto her head. and when she grabs it we can tell the robots she is playing with a dildo, that is totally sexual.
No. 452861 ID: 0c2247

Nat: Sigh, turn off the stove, grab your magma diver outfit, and your +3 adamantine dire strap-on of Thiswasabadidea. The Freedom of Movement enchantment on that will come in useful!
No. 452862 ID: 4b44fc
File 134716242117.png - (131.55KB , 720x720 , DrPussica.png )

No. 452868 ID: 14a1d0
File 134716974693.png - (40.02KB , 1200x800 , 9.png )

Kandi is surrounded by horrible demon-aliens and one of them is screaming and spraying blood from it's gaping eye wound.

She is not sure how to not freak out and the bacon has become unresponsive.
No. 452869 ID: 54c7e5

Offer them some bacon on the condition they help you cook it.

Ask about that... uhh... terrible case of knife-eye that guy on the left seems to have come down with.
No. 452870 ID: b81dd7

Ok, well, killing the bacon is no longer an issue. It seems like it's been suffocated by some good old fashioned marshmallow hell.
At least it died happy. Assuming it was male. Or a lesbian...

Even if it's just unconscious, it would still be a great time to slit its throat just to be sure. Then prepare it.
No. 452878 ID: bf54a8

just hold the bacon like that a bit longer, to be sure.
No. 452882 ID: e3814c

Offer the aliens the pig as a peace offering. It is a well known fact that aliens have a strange fascination with dissecting our livestock.
No. 452883 ID: 6a1ec2

Demand to know why these aliens are so interested in an orgy when they obviously don't have any genitals!
No. 452884 ID: 061a93

This. And uh... not sure what to do about that alien problem. Move?
No. 452885 ID: 34cbef
File 134717541795.png - (22.93KB , 599x315 , ham8.png )

"I saw the banner Nat, big sweaty sex pile, right? Asside from everyone knowing you, we barely know each other. I mean i wouldn't wanna stick my him hammer into a place that i'm not familiar with. Get where i'm coming from? Maybe we could start with like small party games like spin the bottle or something to loosen everyone up... also we need to clean up the ashes and get rid of the aliens."
No. 452919 ID: 37aa84

Why would you want to get rid of the aliens, this is an opportunity to teach an alien species about your culture. Captain James T Kirk would be deeply disappointed in you.
No. 452969 ID: 4a328b

Give the one you stabbed a band-aid or something, gosh!
No. 452980 ID: 6cc859

Maybe even two bandaids!
No. 453020 ID: e3f578

Franklin, hurt Phil for using the phrase "him hammer"
It's a dick you dolt, a penis. We aren't children here, we don't need to get creative with our euphemisms unless we're a stand up comedian, and then you make the euphemism contextual or ridiculous.
No. 453038 ID: 6a1ec2


But the aliens aren't scantily clad buxom women!
No. 453044 ID: 37aa84

We can't always be fortunate enough to only meet scantily clad buxom women who still somewhat resemble our own race but even so we must continue forward and boldly go where no man has gone before.
No. 453047 ID: b25542
File 134722958174.png - (31.20KB , 900x900 , bandig.png )

Kali, full of remorse, bandages the alien using a field dressing. She informs the hideous alien that she is very sorry, and not to move the knife until it can be removed by a professional. She adds that, if it is any consolation, the alien can keep the knife.

The alien is very sad.
No. 453049 ID: 4affc7

He needs a hug and some comfort.
No. 453050 ID: 4a328b

And some bacon. Get him some bacon.
No. 453056 ID: b7169d

If the aliens have no external genitalia, how would they participate in the orgy?

Ask them what they were planning!
No. 453058 ID: 4a328b

hidden crotch mandibles
No. 453067 ID: b25542
File 134723368830.png - (33.41KB , 900x900 , interspecies.png )

Kali comforts the hideous alien. She asks if Kandi is done with that bacon.
No. 453077 ID: 006627

That alien was stabbed in its bottom eye...
No. 453087 ID: 54c7e5

Well obviously he flipped his head over so he could see more easily.
No. 454367 ID: 14a1d0
File 134758280263.png - (25.49KB , 1200x800 , 127.png )

Kandi remembers the bacon and realizes it has stopped being alive.
Surely the bacon would have made some attempt to escape if she was holding it too tightly. Even while she was panicking, she would have noticed it struggle.
It's almost like it didn't want to pull it's face out of her chest, but that doesn't make any sense.

How mysterious and tragic.
No. 454368 ID: 4a328b

Cook it!
No. 454373 ID: 1987d1

Give it a farewell kiss, out of respect. He died for the love of bewbs, and so that we might have bacon. Truely, a noble effort.
No. 454375 ID: bf54a8

oh well, it's dead now so cook it.
No. 454377 ID: b7169d

It died doing something it loved.

Being buried face deep in tits. It deserves a proper moment of silence for it's goal.
No. 454415 ID: eba327
File 134759020750.gif - (64.59KB , 1200x800 , 10.gif )

Suddenly a a tunnel or sewer or some shit underneath the building collapses.
The building is shifting uncomfortably in the ground. The electrical connections don't seem to holding that well.
Somebody should do something.
No. 454417 ID: 6a1ec2

Yiffles bravely continues to be a pile of ash.
No. 454419 ID: bf54a8

oh shit, without power the video games will stop working!! OH NOOOOO
No. 454432 ID: 3f0613

Light the bacon on fire and use as a lantern.
'Ey, Phil, didn't you have that contractor/electrician job a couple years back? Bet you could do something here.
No. 454433 ID: 1987d1

Well, now we know what the sign was for. Mother earth is having an orgy with the entire apartment complex at once. Slut.
No. 454467 ID: 6a1ec2


Yes! Mother Earth is eagerly inserting the long hard apartment complex into her moist underground cavern.
No. 454470 ID: 735f4f

Could be Chuds. Maybe they are angry about not being invited to the orgy.
No. 454519 ID: 34cbef

i'm not sure what to actually do with this update... so i'm bumping to see if any of the other characters have an idea
No. 454685 ID: eba327
File 134767617637.gif - (53.98KB , 1200x800 , 11.gif )

Nat sips some beer from the mini fridge. She calls if anyone else wants any.

(oh shit i forgot to make the lights flickering just imagine them flickering)
No. 454689 ID: 4a328b

Everyone: Do nothing.

Apartment: Fall into the deep, wild, monster infested caverns of the earth
No. 454706 ID: bbee3d

Give the demon monster alien critter things some beer to apologize for the stabbing. And to see what happens.
No. 454709 ID: 37aa84

The obvious solution is to get the orgy started, if we can get the right force and rhythm as the opposite frequency of the apartments shaking the force of the apartment shaking and our orgy will cancel each other out so the apartment will stop shaking.
No. 454740 ID: 4a4e1d
File 134768571426.gif - (48.65KB , 800x800 , 1.gif )

Kali, feeling inexplicably more busy than she did ten minutes ago, accepts Nat's offer for beer, or whatever this is.

She also remarks on Nat's wild dress-style. If she didn't know any better, she'd think Nat called them all over for sex or something.

She also tells Nat that she should tell her landlord about this strange structural condition they seem to be experiencing. It's a bit like a tunnel or sewer or some shit underneath the building had collapsed.
No. 454768 ID: 4a328b

Who was winning the n64 races before the power started going wonky?
No. 454896 ID: 067a04
File 134772465085.png - (71.80KB , 800x800 , -7.png )

>Who was winning the n64 races before the power started going wonky?

Why, that would be jolly old Mr. Coddlestock, who lives underneath Nat's couch!

Mr. Coddlestock does not appear to have realized the game has ended.
No. 454992 ID: 6a1ec2


No. 455040 ID: 34cbef
File 134775803396.png - (20.23KB , 598x319 , ham9.png )

Phil pops his head into the kitchen as the quake is happening... I know it isn't animated, just imagine the room jumping up and down.

"Hey, the lights are flickering, nobodies moving, and a thing just appeared from under your couch... Is this place built on some sort of indian cemetary or something? Ooooh, can I have a can?"
No. 455058 ID: 4a328b

Everbody get drunk.
No. 455146 ID: f72f26
File 134777127181.png - (167.39KB , 900x600 , 12.png )

perhaps it was the nachos of questionable flavor, or perhaps it's the shaking building.

but Glyt isn't feeling so well anymore.
No. 455802 ID: eba327
File 134793756011.gif - (59.10KB , 1200x800 , 12.gif )

Technically, Nat is the landlord.
She hands Phillip the drink and looks out the window.
Its her TRUSTY SCOOTER. She is pretty glad it doesn't seem to be affected.
That is when she realizes the scooter shouldn't be at eye level, considering that she is on the second floor.
No. 455804 ID: 4a328b

Nab that scooter and bring it inside, before your apartment plunges into the dark depths and you have to run from subterranean horrors ON FOOT
No. 455810 ID: f2c20c

Do employees usually park on the second floor?
No. 455900 ID: 6a1ec2

Quickly, deploy the Cruxtruder and alchemize your Cruxite Artifact!
No. 455934 ID: 37aa84

Get to the roof in a quick and orderly fashion then jump off just before the building is swallowed by the infinite depths.
No. 456144 ID: f6b8ae
File 134809998835.png - (173.08KB , 900x900 , cave.png )

The house is sinking into the ground.

But it sinks too far. Further down than any sewer.

When the house finally stops its descent, the power is well and truly severed. It would be completely dark, if not for the braziers illuminating the long tunnel directly outside the front door.
No. 456147 ID: 4a328b

Put out the mystery doritos to appease any beasties that might be lurking, before you venture out
No. 456150 ID: 1987d1

Ignore the mysterious underground ruins, and waste time trying to get the lights and video games to come back on.
No. 456168 ID: 6a1ec2


The mystery Doritos ate through the floor. What do you think caused this hole?
No. 456170 ID: eba327
File 134811167385.gif - (28.04KB , 1200x800 , 13.gif )

Nat looks around outside, and asks if anyone wants to explore with her.
She also says that if the basement isn't totally fucked up, there should be a generator down there.
No. 456171 ID: 1987d1

Even if you go exploring, maybe you should get the generator operational. Otherwise all the food in the fridge will go bad! You can't afford that if you're going to be stuck down here a while.

...of course, you're not supposed to run a generator in a closed space. Fumes may be a problem.
No. 456172 ID: 4a328b

I dunno, this tunnel system looks like it might be somewhat large, it might be ok. And do you really want to risk the beer going cold? Turn the generator on
No. 456266 ID: 9718f3

First thing to do is to gather everyone in front of the house and point at the banner and shout, "See? There's the banner, right there!"

Then have the orgy out where there's light. You can explore once the orgy is done. Because the orgy is really super important.
No. 456318 ID: 37aa84

So did the aliens mysteriously vanish after Kali performed first aid on that one?
No. 456319 ID: 50b072
File 134817636380.png - (35.06KB , 1200x800 , 14.png )

Franklin Comes out with his sweater on again.

He says that he'll go exploring with Nat, it isn't safe to go wandering off alone in a weird place. Also he's pretty sure there has to be somebody out here anyway to keep the braziers burning.

Besides, he's pretty sure the basement is flooded so the power can't come back on, so he can't play video games here anyway.

He asks one of the aliens if they know where this is, but they seem just as confused as everyone else.
No. 456320 ID: 1987d1

Nat finally buttoned up! Guess she's conceding that the banner-ed orgy isn't happening anytime soon.
No. 456328 ID: 6a1ec2

It looks like there is a cool SKULL HELMET to your right Nat. Equip it for armor!
No. 456330 ID: 912516

You know, this quest was created with the advertised intent to be porn. And you've all done pretty much everything EXCEPT that.
I'm kinda proud of the internet, right now.
No. 456334 ID: 50a68a
File 134818401763.png - (25.14KB , 900x900 , yes.png )

Kali would love to help Nat explore these caves. It would be slightly more exciting than sitting around drinking beer all night and not having an orgy, although it's a close call.

She also notes that there is a cool skull helmet on the ground which would look excellent on Nat.
No. 456335 ID: 1987d1

Where exactly was Kali hiding that handgun? Unless it was inside the bacon...
No. 456337 ID: bf54a8

cleavage, duh, the number one secret hiding spot.
No. 456362 ID: 14a1d0
File 134819219679.png - (27.38KB , 1024x768 , 52.png )

Kandi slips on an errant can of ravioli that rolled from a cupboard while the entire building collapsed into the ground and finds herself thrown to the floor quite abruptly.

Oh no! Her glasses! She can't see a thing- No, wait. She can see okay, but if she needs to read any fine print right now, she is in trouble.
Not that it matters. The lights have gone out again. This time for good, it seems.
No. 456364 ID: 26a7c1

Put your glasses back on.
No. 456387 ID: 34cbef
File 134820021049.png - (9.49KB , 575x308 , ham10.png )

Meanwhile back in the kitchen, Phillip has one of those moments in which he questions the validity of his own existence. At one moment he was a full grown adult, but at the next he is a boy again... and the beer in his hand has now turned to purple fizz pop- which is his favorite by the way. It is very dark in the kitchen, but thanks to Phillips "nightvision" he sees perfectly fine, it still does not prevent him from being scared though. If phillip remembers right when he was a boy there was a strange knack he had for breaking the laws of reality based on percentile dice he always carried around. He is not sure if he has those dice now though, because he also remembered swallowing them once when he was small.
No. 456399 ID: e94f05

>He is not sure if he has those dice now though, because he also remembered swallowing them once when he was small.

Yo Phillip if you didn't notice you are small, like, right now so check your pockets.
No. 456402 ID: 1987d1

>strange knack he had for breaking the laws of reality based on percentile dice
No. 456416 ID: 6a1ec2

Try... jumping up and down, to roll the dice in your stomach.
No. 456417 ID: bf54a8

YES! become a pop-o-matic dice roller. like trouble.
No. 456455 ID: 34cbef
File 134824111885.png - (8.66KB , 575x308 , ham11.png )

[Dice] Oh hello
No. 456456 ID: 34cbef
File 134824132516.png - (15.19KB , 575x308 , ham12.png )

rolled 16 = 16

Phillip decides to tempt fate, seeing what would happen if the dice were to still be in his stomach he jumps around like a lunatic. This is more an unpleasant feeling as he has just ingested a full can of soda.
No. 456461 ID: 34cbef
File 134824238687.png - (11.91KB , 575x308 , ham13.png )

Phillip begins to float off the ground like a balloon. He notices kandi is on the ground but really can't do much to help her up.
"Nice day to float around, eh?"
No. 456465 ID: 1987d1

Looks like Phillip's a weapon type. One of the weird ones where the manifestation is an effect, and not an item.

Anyways, you can help Kandi a little. You can see in the dark, she can't. You can guide her to her glasses and stuff.
No. 456590 ID: 14a1d0
File 134828482465.png - (28.39KB , 1024x768 , 12.png )

Kandi picks up her glasses and rifles through the kitchen drawers for a flashlight or something.

Philip is here, staring at a snowglobe with some dice in it.

She doesn't understand this autism thing. She can talk to him. She doesn't even know if he can hear her, because he sits there, in his own world, staring at that toy. What's he thinking about?
No. 456593 ID: 1987d1

So... Phillip's got warped minds then. Or he's just a headcase.
No. 456633 ID: 34cbef
File 134828977731.png - (35.16KB , 952x579 , ham14.png )

Phillip gives in, he realizes nobody is playing along and decides to let his fantasies go. He explains to kandi that he really doesn't appreciate it when some squirrel-girl in pajamapants thinks he's autistic, he also mentions that he heard nat yelling about exploring something at the front door and asks if kandi needs help getting there.
No. 456676 ID: 6a1ec2

Oh my god you are so into each other.
No. 457075 ID: eba327
File 134837303623.gif - (36.49KB , 1200x800 , 14.gif )

Nat decides to see if the power can be fix, and also grab some pants, before exploring. She also can add some more people to the exploration party.
She looks through the basement door, which is jammed in place by the floor, which rose at some point.
The generator looks fine to Nat. Little does she know, the fuse box and general electrical system is super NOT FINE.
No. 457085 ID: e3f578

oh my gosh you been sabotaged!
and someone painted a green button on your wall!
Ooooooooh someone is going to get it.
No. 457086 ID: e3f578

arrow, green arrow
No. 457298 ID: 2fd111

Is it wire puzzle time? I think it's wire puzzle time.
No. 457319 ID: 26a7c1

Commence wire puzzle to restore power.
No. 457323 ID: 1987d1

>wire puzzle!~
Getting ahead of ourselves here. We need to force the door, first. Nat, go grab someone burlier than yourself and put 'em to work.
No. 457326 ID: 6a1ec2

Someone who most certainly isn't a scrawny teenager again.
No. 568650 ID: 7e0def
File 139640763224.png - (25.32KB , 1024x768 , 104.png )

Kandi emerges from the house with a flashlight, but it's not actually dark out here on account of the creepy braziers. Oh well.
No. 568697 ID: 2c6ff1

Well go on out and explore.
No. 568751 ID: ffa549

Yeah. What's outside besides creepy braziers?
No. 568846 ID: 67bfa9
File 139645980132.png - (28.07KB , 900x600 , 13.png )

Glyt finds something else outside

he finds a skull, an omen?

NO! the great floating skull was just an delusion . . .

No. 568853 ID: ffa549

What kind of skull is it?
No. 568858 ID: 2c6ff1

Ye brave explorers, team up and find some improvised weapons so you can explore the great unknown!
No. 568888 ID: 189a54

Hope I'm not too late for this...party?

I'd like to suggest Tavern the awkward cat to join the group.
No. 568897 ID: 6e85c8
File 139648314467.png - (30.06KB , 1200x800 , 15.png )

Franklin walks out of the building as well. He has gathered some basic supplies in his backpack.

He asks if this is the plan, for the three people outside to go see what's up while everyone else tries to get power on and holds down the fort.
No. 568907 ID: 7e0def
File 139648585302.png - (26.17KB , 1024x768 , 547.png )

Kandi goes with Franklin down the mysteriously lit corridor and gasps in awe as the passage opens out into a gigantic cave containing a subterranean city of mystery. Mysterious.
No. 568956 ID: ffa549

Looks like that little mermaid box cover artist designed the architecture here, too.

Well, let's investigate. There's got to be something in this city!
No. 569157 ID: 67bfa9
File 139662496251.png - (26.85KB , 900x600 , 14.png )

The skull is a big kinda skull . . . with fangs

Glyt turns it into an improvised weapon
No. 569349 ID: 7e0def
File 139674411179.png - (32.81KB , 1024x768 , 13.png )

Kandi stops and makes a note of all the bones laying in the dirt. If everyone is dead, who is lighting the braziers? Until Nat's house inexplicably collapsed into the ground, it doesn't seem like anyone would have access to this place.
Also the architectural style doesn't match that of the indigenous population of the region. Unless this city was built recently, it might suggest a previously unknown civilization. The fact that these skulls appear to be those of races which were not historically native to the area also suggests that all these people died relatively recently, within the last few hundred years, at most.

Kandi is stripping her way through college.
No. 569356 ID: d2995c

Inspect the braziers to see what fuel source (wood, oil, a mysterious lack of any fuel at all, etc) is in them. Then continue citywards.
No. 569373 ID: ccd544

It's probably natural gas.
Old civilizations used to build temples at oil/gas seeps to fuel eternal flames, and constructed simple plumbing for that purpose.
No. 569378 ID: 4fa614
File 139675956234.png - (25.49KB , 800x600 , dear lord.png )


Kali, now feeling inexplicably worse-drawn than ever before, examines the braziers in an attempts to understand the means by which they are fueled.

The stench is unmistakable. Natural gas indeed; this flame is fed by none other than dolphin farts. But how?! This makes so little sense that it could not possibly be -- could it?
No. 569825 ID: ffa549

Alright, we've checked out the bones and the gas. Now let's go check out what's inside the penis-towers already.
No. 569827 ID: 2c6ff1

You've stumbled upon the ancient city of Atlantis!
No. 569830 ID: d2995c

Or possibly Asslantis from the smell.
No. 577917 ID: 9dd1ee
File 140234676340.png - (29.24KB , 900x600 , 15.png )

"It could!!!"

cries out Glyt, it is indeed the long lost city of Asslantis!
believed to have sunken beneath the earth more than three hundred years ago when a fissure opened between the gassy hills!

Glyt is super glad he brought along his "Obscure And Pointless History" textbook that he stole from Kandi last week

with it he'll be able to translate any "Buttroglyphs" they find!
No. 577924 ID: 189a54
File 140234996954.jpg - (90.30KB , 1024x768 , Plz don\'t stab me I just wanted to be part o.jpg )

Meanwhile, Lt. Urge wakes up from a flashback of his time in 'Ram. He's not sure where he is.
No. 577934 ID: 7e0def
File 140235954473.png - (13.36KB , 800x600 , 154.png )

But if this is Asslantis, what happened to all the Asslantians?
No. 577973 ID: c7a241

They asscended.
No. 578069 ID: f7aa74
File 140243784889.png - (7.45KB , 474x329 , ham15.png )

Phillip finds himself in the dark alone, he then contemplates whether he's been a very hospitable guest and if the other partygoers just decided to ditch him.
No. 578084 ID: 24dc7a

The lost city... glorious (if somewhat smelly) adventure awaits! Onwards!
No. 578085 ID: ac14c0

OH GOD KILL IT! Glyt, quick, use that improvised weapon!

Maybe also squeeze dat ass.
No. 578168 ID: 9dd1ee
File 140249994781.png - (83.53KB , 900x600 , 16.png )

"Look out Kandi! behind you!"


This is Glyt's turn to shine!
he will resque Kandi and she will fall madly in love with his masculine heroics!

oh noooo!
Glyt's "Improvised Weapon"(tm) has proved ineffective all he's done is make it mad!

"HELP! someone, ANYONE save meeeeeeee!" Glyt cries out!
No. 578196 ID: f7aa74
File 140251848582.png - (12.89KB , 474x329 , ham16.png )

The front door of Nat's house comes crashing into the asslantian, nocking all the hot air out of it.
No. 578197 ID: f7aa74
File 140251858608.png - (9.25KB , 474x329 , ham17.png )

Phillip stands at the entryway a little nervous about the repurcussions of ripping off a door and tossing it at a giant buttox, he also wonders if nat has home insurance.

"I don't have the money to replace a door, also what sorta butt shenanigans is going on out here?"
No. 578202 ID: 37aa84

Just the usual weird butt things that come with participation in an orgy.
No. 585267 ID: 53548a

Holy shit when did this quest get revived?

It's not in the graveyard yet, still counts.

Urge: Observe your surroundings.
Glyt and Kandi: Thank Phillip for rescuing, double tap the Asslantian.
G+K+P: Nothing for it but to explore deeper in.
No. 589539 ID: 9dd1ee
File 140811735816.png - (30.05KB , 900x600 , 17.png )

"w-why did you attack me?" gasps the dying asslantian

"uh . . . wasn't me!, it was that jerk over there I told him not to he just didn't listen!" Glyt responds shiftily

"Hear my dying breath I bare a message that you must hear about-" The asslantian dies before finishing.

>Thank Phillip
"Wow thanks A LOT phil!, now all because of you, we'll never know the important message it was trying to give us!"

Glyt recovers his skull bludgeon from the asslantian's corpse
No. 589546 ID: 4b571b

Quick, mouth to mouth ass! He can still be saved?

...no? Uh, anyone know any necromancy? Or have a Ouija board? Maybe we could get the message from the dead-ass that way.
No. 589591 ID: 53548a

Fuck it, it probably wasn't important. Let's just gather everybody up and get exploring.
No. 589607 ID: 31e410

Eh, he probably had nothing important to tell us, Asslantians are notoriously full of shit.
No. 589645 ID: 265534
File 140819501078.png - (24.78KB , 1024x768 , 11.png )

Now without the asslantian's warning, any number of ominous things could happen and no one will be able to prepare for the coming horror.

Thanks a lot, Phil.

Kandi does not know what to do, now that everything has become so vaguely menacing.
No. 589647 ID: 31e410

Dude we got sucked into a hole to an ancient civilization deep underground, things were already very menacing before the failed warning. Just get to the top of a building and start surveying the surroundings.
No. 589648 ID: 2e1470
File 140819949473.png - (10.36KB , 800x600 , what a phallusy.png )

"Those towers sure are of a dangerously penile design," Kali mentions, as though it had any relevance to the situation at hand. "Anybody would think the Asslantians would have designed their towers in a more uh, ass-like manner."
No. 589649 ID: 31e410

Its is obviously a challenge to the gods. The Asslantians probably wanted to do rather disrespectful things to the great anus in the sky.
No. 589651 ID: 2e1470
File 140820196813.png - (62.63KB , 800x600 , uh.png )


It makes plenty of sense.

Kali recalls the fairy tale of King Horass. He was a very mean king, and due to how poorly he treated his subjects, the old ass-gods cursed him to stop smelling like ass for the rest of his life. In the tale, smelling like ass was a symbol of status, and when Horass lost his Asslantian fragrance, he slowly lost respect from his people until his death years later. It is said that his mourning ghost wandered forever afterwards, smelling pine-fresh.

It's possible that the legend was true, and that Horass demanded these phallic towers to be erected in defiance of the old Ass-Gods in Assgard.

Kali firmly believes that the Asslantians were a vile and contemptible race, and that their apparent near-extinction was well deserved. Nothing is allowed to smell that bad and get away with it. It might just be the dolphin fart braziers, but Kali can still smell the Asslantian in these ancient ruins.
No. 589660 ID: 265534
File 140821016647.png - (29.39KB , 1024x768 , 45.png )


It all makes sense now. In their hubris, the Asslantians defied the gods and awakened a darkness which ultimately destroyed them! It all makes sense now!
No. 589667 ID: 4b571b

...ask if the dickmonster has anything to say for itself? Maybe it just wants to talk, like the ass did.

It it doesn't respond positively kill it with extreme prejudice.
No. 589696 ID: 2fd516

Get back! Don't let it grab you with its smaller dick-tentacles!
No. 590601 ID: 53548a

This quest started out gross, got better, then got gross again. Welp, run screaming.
No. 590606 ID: 2e1470
File 140869175495.png - (44.07KB , 1200x1000 , thatsapenis.png )


Kandi, be careful! That is a fabled Pen Islander. Don't scream, you will startle it. If it becomes frightened, it might be driven into a homicidal rage that won't end until it vomits its vile, parasitic slime onto our faces and breasts.

It might be horrifying, but the enemy of our enemy is our friend. And like those mysterious purple aliens that we almost forgot about, it might be able to help us figure out what the heck is going on down here. It already looks stressed, I don't know how we could possibly calm it down.
No. 590609 ID: 2fd516

Maybe if you pet its head?
No. 590635 ID: 37aa84

Dousing it with a bucket of ice water is your safest bet to calm it without any slime spray.
No. 590675 ID: 53548a

Damn, nazi mods much.

After dousing it be sure to donate to charity!
No. 590747 ID: 2e1470
File 140878183151.png - (18.12KB , 800x600 , cheque.png )


Kali agrees. The best way to help yourself, is to help others. Kali writes a cheque for all the money in her bank account, to her favourite charity. Wowie, it sure is hard writing a cheque without a table or something to lean on.
No. 590748 ID: 2e1470
File 140878185450.png - (51.09KB , 800x900 , methamphetamine.png )


There isn't much water around here, and it's quite humid; there aren't any buckets of frozen water anywhere. But after some quick searching, Kali finds a bucket full of ice in a small laboratory. Clearly the Asslantian chemist responsible did not intend to sell all this glass on the street, because Kali estimates that it is worth a lot of money. It's likely that they were producing it to a larger distributor.
In fact, Kali is having second thoughts about just throwing it all to this Pen Islander. She could sell it to the druglords back home and make a few grand - to then donate, of course.
No. 590754 ID: 37aa84

But if you don't do that the Pen Islander won't really be able to help you without risk of exposure to its slime, and there are unlikely to be anywhere where you can make a donation to down here. If you heat the bucket just a bit on your stove you can convert the bucket of ice to a bucket of ice water, just be careful this is delicate alchemy and too much heat will make it a bucket of warm water which will not be useful.
No. 590876 ID: 487455

...wait. If that bucket of 'ice' is full of drugs, is it even a good idea to dump it on the thing? A drugged out or hallucinating creature isn't necessarily calmed down, or any safer to be around.
No. 591171 ID: dff0a8
File 140901395713.png - (8.10KB , 394x265 , ham18.png )

Phil slightly stirs, but not enough to rouse him from his nap. He had fallen asleep after the profound appreciation he had gotten. Phil has decided he'll just take a nap til there's a need for any heavy lifting or muscle work.
No. 591189 ID: 37aa84

Kali is hesitating, we need you to take charge and either make that bucket of ice into a bucket of ice water and dump it on the Pen Islander or to just wrestle the thing into submission, if you know what I mean.
No. 591201 ID: 9dd1ee
File 140902578862.png - (31.98KB , 900x600 , 18.png )

"Kali, save the Ice! I'm sure this guys is actually quite friendly like the other guy who Phil so cruelly attacked without any reason"

Glyt says walking up to the Pen Islander

"Greetings freindly creature I-"


"BlyargaaaaaaaaaaaaaH" Glyt flails wildly and impotently within the Pen Islander deadly maw
No. 591207 ID: dc4b80

You know what he deserved that for being a idiot.

But if you let it devour him unhindered its just going to get a taste for blood and go after the rest of you.

Maybe you will get lucky and it will choke on his bones or something and save you the trouble of fighting it.
No. 591210 ID: 40935b

Phil, punch the dick in the head.
No. 591214 ID: 59295a

quick someone lick the beast!
No. 591216 ID: 6e85c8
File 140906214083.png - (36.39KB , 1200x800 , 16.png )

Glyt Nooooooooo!

Franklin had apparently wandered off exploring on his own without the others, but comes rushing back at Glyt's cry for aid!

Apparently during his poking around he has found an Asslantean Assxe! with a mighty swing he sinks the voluptuous blade into the side of the beast, causing it to release its grip on Glyt and howl in pain!
No. 591217 ID: 6e85c8
File 140906222513.png - (28.69KB , 1200x800 , 17.png )

The wounded beast retreats!

Franklin: 'Glyt are you okay?!'

Glyt: 'I dunno maybe my everything hurts'

No. 591223 ID: 487455

Quick, who knows first aid.
No. 591246 ID: 2fd516

Forget first aid, we need a necromancer!
No. 591284 ID: 37aa84

Quick the Pen Islander may have injected Glyt with some of its Parasitic Slime, someone needs to suck the slime and spit it back out before it causes irreversible damage to him.
No. 591372 ID: dff0a8
File 140916119019.png - (8.77KB , 394x265 , ham19.png )

Phillip sits upright on the steps of nat's house wondering what he just saw. He is unsure if he just imagined a giant dick come out and bite the little zebra or if it's just him losing his mind due to dolphin fart braziers... He also wonders if he should just look around the house and gather some adventuring stuff to help out those horribly unprepared dingbats.
No. 591446 ID: 879a42

Cmon, help em. Besides, phat loot and adventureness.
No. 593647 ID: 9dd1ee
File 141040269043.png - (35.03KB , 900x600 , 19.png )

Glyt is bleeding heavily on the floor

"Franky they got us good" *Cough* "I fended off like thirty of em protecting Kandi couragiously even saved phil's life like ten times, but you missed all that" *cough* *cough* "eventually they overwhelmed me with cheap shot, I was like a modern day Borimir except for the asshole parts . . ."

Glyt continues to ramble on
No. 593668 ID: d90668

Hold his broken body in your arms and weep. As he passes away raise your fist to the sky and swear vengeance on the monsters that did this.

That or try to stop the bleeding.
No. 593677 ID: 59295a

Do that put also softly whisper "Goodnight, sweet prince." into Glyt's ear.
No. 593687 ID: 879a42

We can do all that desperate shenanigans of vengeance when he is beyond saving. Try to get the blood to stop, and maybe any parasitic slime in him could be sucked out? Call for assistance and get one of the girls to do it.
No. 593701 ID: 8b533b

We could really use some alien healing magic the purple guys had forgetting to mention until now.

Or you know, failing that, bandages. Start tearing up spare clothes or something.
No. 593706 ID: b73e0b

Kick him in the side.
'Get up loser, that fake blood isn't fooling anyone.'
No. 593708 ID: 37aa84

Oh great floating skull, I ask that you show your mercy upon Glyt your vigilant servant in this his time of greatest need. Whether you choose to spare his life or accept him into your embrace let him be at peace, amen.
No. 593710 ID: 59295a

Piss on his wounds to staunch the bleeding. 'Cuz that's how it works, right?
No. 593742 ID: a9b849
File 141049981666.jpg - (238.94KB , 1000x1200 , das-cray.jpg )


The totally-relevant aliens, or whatever, are excited by the idea of repairing Glyt's tattered, and quickly-languishing body with robotic enhancements that they apparently just had lying around. "We can rebuild him," one of them says. "We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better, stronger, faster."
No. 593745 ID: 0ffa34

But can you make him Harder?
No. 593748 ID: 59295a

We could use those, yeah! Oh wait, but what's that Zebra Pincher Grabber Toy doing right there? Boy, wouldn't that make for a high attractive, and versatile appendage with an extraordinarily long reach, not to mention the kids love it!
No. 593755 ID: 37aa84

But does anyone have six billion dollars?
No. 593757 ID: 879a42

They came for an orgy, I think payment would be kinky sex.
No. 593763 ID: 8b533b

Seems legit.

Just remember to get a bloody thumbprint or something on the consent forms.
No. 593787 ID: 353f5a

Well then how kinky would the sex have to be and how long would it have to last to be worth six billion dollars? We have no idea what passes for kinky to these aliens or how long there usual copulations last.
No. 594334 ID: 9dd1ee
File 141088361505.png - (42.76KB , 900x600 , 20.png )

Glyt is fixed up with the best space technology space money can buy!
except he doesn't have to pay a dime for it cause the aliens are just straight up nice guys!
"Hard-core! I'm some kind of nano-cyborg! I bet I can do all sorts of kick ass stuff now!" Glyt seems to be taking his new lot in life rather well.
No. 594341 ID: 53ba34

remember these words of wisdom "rules of nature"
No. 594388 ID: 37aa84

No you fool, you let them make you a cyborg ninja. Your basically naratively obligated to go insane at some point now. Oh well nothing to do about it now, check your pants to make sure they left everything intact.
No. 594418 ID: 01745f

Well, that or end up angsting a lot. On the positive side cyborg ninjas almost never die before first filling their quota of insanity and/or angst.
No. 594452 ID: cef479


Stay away from that Sam guy, he's trouble.
No. 594552 ID: a9b849
File 141100624324.png - (143.73KB , 1000x1200 , dayum.png )


Damn, Kali is really mirin' that new cyborg bootay that Glyt is rocking. If only she could get those kinda upgrades everytime she got ravaged by a giant di- uh, met aliens.

Instead she's just got a bucket of meth and some sunglasses she found. At least Glyt can protect them all, should they run into any more Pen Islanders, or Asslantians.
No. 594571 ID: 8b533b

>At least Glyt can protect them all
You're assuming he's a competent cyborg, with some kind of defensive capabilities. We don't know these things.
No. 594597 ID: dff0a8
File 141105060897.png - (13.75KB , 475x330 , ham20.png )

Phillip hurries over with some goods he salvaged from the house, "Hey, So I got a first aid kit that has all sorts of medical stuff to help the little... uh..."
No. 594598 ID: dff0a8
File 141105063688.png - (7.89KB , 380x265 , ham21.png )

"...so you're a robot now..."
No. 594599 ID: dff0a8
File 141105077321.png - (8.72KB , 380x265 , ham22.png )

"... Anybody need any scratches or bruises bandaged up? Or something for a rash... maybe a hello kitty bandaid... piggy back ride?"
No. 594600 ID: 8b533b

Just stick one of the free children's refrigerator magnets that came with the toy doctor kit on Glyt.
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