>>589660
...ask if the dickmonster has anything to say for itself? Maybe it just wants to talk, like the ass did.

It it doesn't respond positively kill it with extreme prejudice.

>>589660
Get back! Don't let it grab you with its smaller dick-tentacles!

This quest started out gross, got better, then got gross again. Welp, run screaming.

Conium 2014/08/22(Fri)00:15 No. 590606 ID: 2e1470
File 140869175495.png - (44.07KB , 1200x1000 , thatsapenis.png )

>>589660

Kandi, be careful! That is a fabled Pen Islander. Don't scream, you will startle it. If it becomes frightened, it might be driven into a homicidal rage that won't end until it vomits its vile, parasitic slime onto our faces and breasts.

It might be horrifying, but the enemy of our enemy is our friend. And like those mysterious purple aliens that we almost forgot about, it might be able to help us figure out what the heck is going on down here. It already looks stressed, I don't know how we could possibly calm it down.

>>590606
Maybe if you pet its head?

Dousing it with a bucket of ice water is your safest bet to calm it without any slime spray.

Damn, nazi mods much.

After dousing it be sure to donate to charity!

Conium 2014/08/23(Sat)01:17 No. 590747 ID: 2e1470
File 140878183151.png - (18.12KB , 800x600 , cheque.png )

>>590635
>>590675

Kali agrees. The best way to help yourself, is to help others. Kali writes a cheque for all the money in her bank account, to her favourite charity. Wowie, it sure is hard writing a cheque without a table or something to lean on.

Conium 2014/08/23(Sat)01:17 No. 590748 ID: 2e1470
File 140878185450.png - (51.09KB , 800x900 , methamphetamine.png )

>>590747

There isn't much water around here, and it's quite humid; there aren't any buckets of frozen water anywhere. But after some quick searching, Kali finds a bucket full of ice in a small laboratory. Clearly the Asslantian chemist responsible did not intend to sell all this glass on the street, because Kali estimates that it is worth a lot of money. It's likely that they were producing it to a larger distributor.
In fact, Kali is having second thoughts about just throwing it all to this Pen Islander. She could sell it to the druglords back home and make a few grand - to then donate, of course.

But if you don't do that the Pen Islander won't really be able to help you without risk of exposure to its slime, and there are unlikely to be anywhere where you can make a donation to down here. If you heat the bucket just a bit on your stove you can convert the bucket of ice to a bucket of ice water, just be careful this is delicate alchemy and too much heat will make it a bucket of warm water which will not be useful.

...wait. If that bucket of 'ice' is full of drugs, is it even a good idea to dump it on the thing? A drugged out or hallucinating creature isn't necessarily calmed down, or any safer to be around.

Ham 2014/08/25(Mon)17:45 No. 591171 ID: dff0a8
File 140901395713.png - (8.10KB , 394x265 , ham18.png )

Phil slightly stirs, but not enough to rouse him from his nap. He had fallen asleep after the profound appreciation he had gotten. Phil has decided he'll just take a nap til there's a need for any heavy lifting or muscle work.

>>591171
Kali is hesitating, we need you to take charge and either make that bucket of ice into a bucket of ice water and dump it on the Pen Islander or to just wrestle the thing into submission, if you know what I mean.

Basil 2014/08/25(Mon)21:03 No. 591201 ID: 9dd1ee
File 140902578862.png - (31.98KB , 900x600 , 18.png )

"Kali, save the Ice! I'm sure this guys is actually quite friendly like the other guy who Phil so cruelly attacked without any reason"

Glyt says walking up to the Pen Islander

"Greetings freindly creature I-"

*CHOMP*

"BlyargaaaaaaaaaaaaaH" Glyt flails wildly and impotently within the Pen Islander deadly maw

You know what he deserved that for being a idiot.

But if you let it devour him unhindered its just going to get a taste for blood and go after the rest of you.

Maybe you will get lucky and it will choke on his bones or something and save you the trouble of fighting it.

Phil, punch the dick in the head.

quick someone lick the beast!

Cumin 2014/08/26(Tue)07:09 No. 591216 ID: 6e85c8
File 140906214083.png - (36.39KB , 1200x800 , 16.png )

Glyt Nooooooooo!

Franklin had apparently wandered off exploring on his own without the others, but comes rushing back at Glyt's cry for aid!

Apparently during his poking around he has found an Asslantean Assxe! with a mighty swing he sinks the voluptuous blade into the side of the beast, causing it to release its grip on Glyt and howl in pain!

Cumin 2014/08/26(Tue)07:10 No. 591217 ID: 6e85c8
File 140906222513.png - (28.69KB , 1200x800 , 17.png )

The wounded beast retreats!

Franklin: 'Glyt are you okay?!'

Glyt: 'I dunno maybe my everything hurts'

Franklin: 'WHAT IN THE COCO PEBBLES IS GOING ON HERE?!'

Quick, who knows first aid.

Forget first aid, we need a necromancer!

Quick the Pen Islander may have injected Glyt with some of its Parasitic Slime, someone needs to suck the slime and spit it back out before it causes irreversible damage to him.

ham 2014/08/27(Wed)10:39 No. 591372 ID: dff0a8
File 140916119019.png - (8.77KB , 394x265 , ham19.png )

Phillip sits upright on the steps of nat's house wondering what he just saw. He is unsure if he just imagined a giant dick come out and bite the little zebra or if it's just him losing his mind due to dolphin fart braziers... He also wonders if he should just look around the house and gather some adventuring stuff to help out those horribly unprepared dingbats.

Cmon, help em. Besides, phat loot and adventureness.

Basil 2014/09/10(Wed)19:31 No. 593647 ID: 9dd1ee
File 141040269043.png - (35.03KB , 900x600 , 19.png )

Glyt is bleeding heavily on the floor

"Franky they got us good" *Cough* "I fended off like thirty of em protecting Kandi couragiously even saved phil's life like ten times, but you missed all that" *cough* *cough* "eventually they overwhelmed me with cheap shot, I was like a modern day Borimir except for the asshole parts . . ."

Glyt continues to ramble on

Hold his broken body in your arms and weep. As he passes away raise your fist to the sky and swear vengeance on the monsters that did this.

That or try to stop the bleeding.

>>593668
Do that put also softly whisper "Goodnight, sweet prince." into Glyt's ear.

We can do all that desperate shenanigans of vengeance when he is beyond saving. Try to get the blood to stop, and maybe any parasitic slime in him could be sucked out? Call for assistance and get one of the girls to do it.

We could really use some alien healing magic the purple guys had forgetting to mention until now.

Or you know, failing that, bandages. Start tearing up spare clothes or something.

Kick him in the side.
'Get up loser, that fake blood isn't fooling anyone.'

Oh great floating skull, I ask that you show your mercy upon Glyt your vigilant servant in this his time of greatest need. Whether you choose to spare his life or accept him into your embrace let him be at peace, amen.

Piss on his wounds to staunch the bleeding. 'Cuz that's how it works, right?

Conium 2014/09/11(Thu)22:30 No. 593742 ID: a9b849
File 141049981666.jpg - (238.94KB , 1000x1200 , das-cray.jpg )

>>593647

The totally-relevant aliens, or whatever, are excited by the idea of repairing Glyt's tattered, and quickly-languishing body with robotic enhancements that they apparently just had lying around. "We can rebuild him," one of them says. "We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better, stronger, faster."

But can you make him Harder?

We could use those, yeah! Oh wait, but what's that Zebra Pincher Grabber Toy doing right there? Boy, wouldn't that make for a high attractive, and versatile appendage with an extraordinarily long reach, not to mention the kids love it!

But does anyone have six billion dollars?

They came for an orgy, I think payment would be kinky sex.

>>593742
Seems legit.

Just remember to get a bloody thumbprint or something on the consent forms.

Well then how kinky would the sex have to be and how long would it have to last to be worth six billion dollars? We have no idea what passes for kinky to these aliens or how long there usual copulations last.

Basil 2014/09/16(Tue)09:06 No. 594334 ID: 9dd1ee
File 141088361505.png - (42.76KB , 900x600 , 20.png )

Glyt is fixed up with the best space technology space money can buy!
except he doesn't have to pay a dime for it cause the aliens are just straight up nice guys!
"Hard-core! I'm some kind of nano-cyborg! I bet I can do all sorts of kick ass stuff now!" Glyt seems to be taking his new lot in life rather well.

remember these words of wisdom "rules of nature"

>>594334
No you fool, you let them make you a cyborg ninja. Your basically naratively obligated to go insane at some point now. Oh well nothing to do about it now, check your pants to make sure they left everything intact.

>>594388
Well, that or end up angsting a lot. On the positive side cyborg ninjas almost never die before first filling their quota of insanity and/or angst.

>>594418

Stay away from that Sam guy, he's trouble.

Conium 2014/09/17(Wed)19:10 No. 594552 ID: a9b849
File 141100624324.png - (143.73KB , 1000x1200 , dayum.png )

>>594334

Damn, Kali is really mirin' that new cyborg bootay that Glyt is rocking. If only she could get those kinda upgrades everytime she got ravaged by a giant di- uh, met aliens.

Instead she's just got a bucket of meth and some sunglasses she found. At least Glyt can protect them all, should they run into any more Pen Islanders, or Asslantians.

>At least Glyt can protect them all
You're assuming he's a competent cyborg, with some kind of defensive capabilities. We don't know these things.

Ham 2014/09/18(Thu)07:30 No. 594597 ID: dff0a8
File 141105060897.png - (13.75KB , 475x330 , ham20.png )

Phillip hurries over with some goods he salvaged from the house, "Hey, So I got a first aid kit that has all sorts of medical stuff to help the little... uh..."

Ham 2014/09/18(Thu)07:30 No. 594598 ID: dff0a8
File 141105063688.png - (7.89KB , 380x265 , ham21.png )

"...so you're a robot now..."

Ham 2014/09/18(Thu)07:32 No. 594599 ID: dff0a8
File 141105077321.png - (8.72KB , 380x265 , ham22.png )

"... Anybody need any scratches or bruises bandaged up? Or something for a rash... maybe a hello kitty bandaid... piggy back ride?"

Just stick one of the free children's refrigerator magnets that came with the toy doctor kit on Glyt.