tell it to stop looking at you funny then proceed to mock by making the same face at it

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/02(Sun)22:27 No. 451070 ID: 8f1c61
File 134665003538.png - (19.66KB , 900x900 , rrr.png )

I try to tear the ba-AAAAGH!

>RRRROOOAAARGH!

HOLY SHIT

WOAH BACK UP BACK UP

close the door and make sure it stays closed. effectively blinded !

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/02(Sun)23:34 No. 451119 ID: 8f1c61
File 134665405367.png - (15.74KB , 900x900 , idiot.png )

Okay okay I hit the door closed in an attempt to blind it. But not a moment passes before the freezer compartment swings open.

>YOU FOOL! YOU FELL FOR MY DECOY HEAD. NOT UNLIKE THE DEATH ADDER OR ANGLERFISH, THE HEAD IN MY BODY SERVES AS A LURE, TO TRICK UNSUSPECTING HUNGRY PEOPLE!

Um, why didn't you choose something appealing, like a custard tart or fruit smoothie? Or basically, anything that isn't a severed head. I mean, really?

>SILENCE, YOU FOOL!

You must be a really stupid fridge. Killfridge, more like... Dillfridge.

>ENOUGH! NOW IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO DIE.

use WEPON

But he can't reach you because if he moves forward he unplugs himself.

Taunt him. Then maybe blow him up.

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/03(Mon)00:11 No. 451135 ID: 8f1c61
File 134665630621.png - (24.68KB , 900x900 , run.png )

No there's no time to shoot it now.

I grab Duc (who is completely aware of the situation, despite her perceived absence) and get out of there.

>GRRRRAAAAAGH! YOU'RE PAST YOUR EXPIRY DATE. IT'S TIME TO DISPOSE OF YOU!

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!

>BECAUSE I AM A KILLFRIDGE! LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE ARE NOT IN MY LIST OF CAPABILITIES. ONLY KILLING!

Officer Murder NFGPD Officer Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/03(Mon)00:25 No. 451137 ID: 8f1c61
File 134665710116.png - (18.44KB , 900x900 , HMM.png )

Something feels off...

You lost the goddamn ass-boombox!

Oh also that other thing.

awww dammit, the ROPES snapped, fucking shitty rope. next time use huge fucking chains.

You're not high on weed.

>>451137

More like something FELL off!

Officer Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/03(Mon)01:19 No. 451153 ID: 8f1c61
File 134666039310.png - (24.64KB , 900x900 , dam.png )

Hm, yes. Due to insufficiently sturdy binding materials, I seem to have lost some important cargo. That fat little lawbreaker will pay for this in good time, but for now, I will have to find something else to do.

I could continue heading over to the Sprawlen Metropless Police Command, to restock some equipment, or I could do something else for a while.

>>451153
Are'nt you hungry?
You should either go to the Snowball Bar or get that pizza you were so cruelly denied. You deserve a break, maybe even clock out for the day.

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/03(Mon)01:30 No. 451159 ID: 8f1c61
File 134666105390.png - (12.17KB , 900x900 , yes.png )

Very well, I suppose that I have worked very hard today. Perhaps I will take the rest of it off. My pursuit of justice can wait until tomorrow morning.

What should I do for the rest of the day?

Smoke weed.

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/03(Mon)01:55 No. 451164 ID: 8f1c61
File 134666254868.png - (12.37KB , 900x900 , wont work.png )

As I may have stated earlier, due to having given up smoking in the '80s, I am clearly not affected by this. Also, probably POW camp stuff, I don't know.

Also it's illegal. Just because I am having the rest of the day off as a lawman, does not mean I can take a break from the law.

Very well then. Repose in your den. Perhaps a light novella?

Grab a light lunch and retreat to your home for some well deserved relaxation.

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/03(Mon)17:53 No. 451459 ID: be5e8c
File 134672002299.png - (30.09KB , 900x900 , guide.png )

I suppose I am in need of some food. I'm not overly familiar with this city anymore. Places change. It is not lunchtime anymore (closer to dinner time). Normally I finish work at midnight, and then go home. Since I live in Town, I should stay overnight here in the city.

I possess a guide to Sprawlen Metropless. It has some restaurants, and accommodation as well. I have a lot of money from today's fines, so I should be able to afford most things.

Any preferences?

>>451459
Might want to stay at the rape motel to fend off any potential law breakers

You're a veteran, right? RSL might be good, since I don't know if we're really dressed appropriately to eat at Ponce.

I say we go to the mattress warehouse and build a mattress fort to stay the night in.

>>451459
Bar fights and rape, please.

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/03(Mon)23:55 No. 451579 ID: 75fe35
File 134674171903.png - (20.00KB , 900x900 , rsl.png )

To the RSL it is.

The place has not really changed much since I was last here. Some new light fixtures, furniture and carpet.

There are some patrons here.

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/03(Mon)23:55 No. 451580 ID: 75fe35
File 134674174781.png - (15.67KB , 900x900 , manueue.png )

The bartender greets me. Lieutenant Dosh, as I knew him.

>Murder? My word, it's been a long time, m'boy! How are things treating you since you left the forces.

Hello Sir. I have been fine. I work for the NFGPD now.

>Please, just call me Dosh now. What can I get you. Half price.

Hmmm, what do I get?

>>451580
Steak and wanker's.

>>451583
Yep. Solid meal for just 12 bucks plus tip.

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/06(Thu)22:06 No. 452333 ID: 6f1f41
File 134699439220.png - (27.09KB , 900x900 , yes.png )

>>451583
>>451587

Good choice, but where do I sit?

All the tables are occupied by at least one person.

Do you recognize anyone at the tables for any reason? If so, ask politely to sit with a friend.

If not, ask to sit with the cowboy guy. You have a big MANLY PHYSIQUE and I don't know if you'd fit in the seat to the right.

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/07(Fri)00:16 No. 452371 ID: 6015cf
File 134700218306.png - (19.35KB , 900x900 , man.png )

>>452352

I recognise nobody, but I will ask to sit with the man with the hat.

"May I sit here?"

>Of course, of course. You look like a man from the services, yes?

Yes. Vietnam, second parachute regiment.

>Paratroopers, eh? Good man. I bet you are a reliable man. How could I interest you in a job.

What kind of job?

>Removing a public menace.

Hmm.

We can look into it when we're back on duty. Ask for more info.

"Go on..."

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/09/09(Sun)22:56 No. 453246 ID: 2adb60
File 134725656941.png - (19.62KB , 900x900 , info.png )

And you do realise Vigilantism is illegal?

>Yes, and I wouldn't do this if there was any other choice, but the NFGPD won't bring him down.

Why?

>He keeps himself secret from them, and he's about ten years old. The NFGPD won't ever truly stop the crime spree of a young child.

I see. Tell me more about this person.

>Well, like I said, he is a child. He is armed with a fiddle that he doesn't know how to play. A supreme vandal, he swoops in from the shadows, to destroy all in his path with his destructive sonic waves. Before he can be caught, always he disappears back into the shadows.

Why me?

>A serviceman is always my preference. I usually come here to look for people to help me get things done. Not only are you that, but you are also very capable, I can tell by just looking at you.

What is in it for me?

>Other than bringing down a menace, I can offer you 1000$ which I have saved over the last half a year.

>Do you accept? Y/N


This is a 'side quest' type thing; it's not intrinsic to the story or anything, although it might be affected, depending on what happens.

>>453246
If a policeman catches a criminal when off duty, is it really vigilantism?

Y

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/10/19(Fri)03:32 No. 464460 ID: 489dd8
File 135064276915.png - (20.29KB , 900x900 , uh.png )

Well, I guess crime doesn't stop just because I'm having some time off. Besides, maybe this guy is onto something.

"Alright. I guess I could use more money."

>"Great, just follow me out to my car."

"Why?"

>"Weapons."

We go out to his car, which, I might add, is loaded. There is no license for possession of this many firearms.

>"Take this one."

"Why do we need this if its a child, we aren't going to kill?"

>"'Cause it's intimidating."

This gun is also an illegal model. Whoo, my inner cop is gonna fly off the handle.

better bring two to be twice as intimidating /flex

>>464460
For someone so concerned about a vandal, he sure isn't obeying the law. The kid probably broke some of his stuff, so this is a personal beef with him. Get his license plate number, and report it later to local law enforcement.

Also if you're not gonna kill the kid with these guns, then make sure they're all unloaded.

On one hand it's an illegal model. On the other hand you might get to shoot it.

When you get to the kid, restrain this guy and question the kid.

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/10/20(Sat)18:38 No. 464850 ID: fc2eda
File 135078353025.png - (14.10KB , 900x900 , oohoohoo.png )

>>464493

Noted. I'll question this guy later.

>"I don't like this, man."

"What?"

>"It's too quiet, you know?"

"No I don't really understand."

>"It's like, because it's quiet, we're being watched."

"Or it could just be that nobody is around."

>"Yeah maybe, but no, I don't think so."

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2012/10/20(Sat)18:41 No. 464852 ID: fc2eda
File 135078367556.png - (22.33KB , 900x900 , Oh.png )

A shadow swoops in from the dark sky.

>"Hand over all of your money!"

"Why, who are you?"

>"I am the Kiddie Fiddler, and my I will use my destructive waves to end you if you do not comply!

Break his fiddle.

...shoot him

Shoot him while making a joke to the effect of you being a kiddie molester.

Is that fiddle an illegal model? If not, continue with original plan.

We need to fight fire with fire. Find a way to produce soundwaves even more horrible.

demand you settle this by fiddle contest

WOO UPDATE Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)03:29 No. 539592 ID: 979ec9
File 137846338176.png - (18.26KB , 800x800 , paunch.png )

I solve the dilemma the only way I know how...

BY PUNCHING THE CHILD IN HIS FACE.

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)03:32 No. 539593 ID: 979ec9
File 137846352490.png - (20.67KB , 800x800 , unconscious.png )

His body falls onto the footpath.

>"Thanks a lot for your help."

The man gives me 1000$. Great.


Wait a second-

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)03:32 No. 539594 ID: 979ec9
File 137846354749.png - (21.67KB , 800x800 , hmmm.png )

Hmm, this boy is familiar.

Well he kinda looks like the fat little lawbreaker that you lost earlier, maybe they even know each other.

But questions will have to wait until we have pummeled and restrained the law breaking vigilante menace!

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)04:25 No. 539596 ID: 979ec9
File 137846672890.png - (23.11KB , 800x800 , Crime.png )

>>539595
I have a much better idea.

>THE NEXT DAY

Murder!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)04:26 No. 539598 ID: 979ec9
File 137846681428.png - (17.85KB , 800x800 , ooh corruption.png )

Here is your payment. If you can keep it up, there will be more for you.

>"Whatever grampa, just gimme the money"

MEANWHILE, DOOLBAG Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)04:28 No. 539599 ID: 979ec9
File 137846689712.png - (16.63KB , 800x800 , Killfridge hungers for blood.png )

>OPEN UP. I AM KILLFRIDGE. YOU WILL NOT DENY ME MY FEAST.

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)04:29 No. 539600 ID: 979ec9
File 137846698008.png - (20.47KB , 800x800 , Do something.png )

>"Doolbag, quick, do something! I can't hold the door much longer."

Damn lady, there isn't shit to do here. It's probably easier to just let him eat us.

>"DOOLBAG!"

Ugh, fiiine.

>>539600
get duc to hack that computer so the security system goes nuts

>>539600
See if that computer has access to the local power and disable the lights! Fridges are known to fear the dark due to midnight snackers!

haxer skills are go

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)19:55 No. 539683 ID: 979ec9
File 137852254670.png - (17.49KB , 800x800 , haxx0r.png )

Duc abandons her place at the door to use the computer.

>"Maybe we can hack the security system go crazy and kill the fridge!"

You mean the fresco painted around the door?

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)19:56 No. 539684 ID: 979ec9
File 137852258666.png - (17.14KB , 800x800 , computer.png )

>"Ooh, there is a program for security systems."

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)19:56 No. 539685 ID: 979ec9
File 137852261705.png - (20.59KB , 800x800 , turn that shit on.png )

>"Okay we should be good. Please work."

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)19:58 No. 539687 ID: 979ec9
File 137852269013.png - (16.50KB , 800x800 , it is a robot.png )

>"ANTI-FRIDGE MEASURES INITIATED. I'M GONNA KILL A BITCH."

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/06(Fri)20:00 No. 539688 ID: 979ec9
File 137852280869.png - (19.34KB , 800x800 , fight.png )

>"WHO DARES TO ATTACK I: KILLFRIDGE 9000?"


Duc, it worked! We need to get out of here. But where do we go? Those guys are blocking the door.

>>539684
Steal the "not porn" and credit card numbers for later, then hop out any windows in the place
failing the posession of a thumb drive, steal the whole computer
the "not porn" is vital to our quest

theres only one option, the only other door in this room, MICRO$OFT DOOR ! dive into cyberspace (iexplore.exe)

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/08(Sun)00:48 No. 539803 ID: 979ec9
File 137862650103.png - (19.03KB , 800x800 , GO.png )

The choice is clear: To escape into Cyberspace!

>"What?"

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/08(Sun)00:48 No. 539804 ID: 979ec9
File 137862652168.png - (22.63KB , 800x800 , whoaa.png )

WOAAAAH

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/08(Sun)00:51 No. 539805 ID: 979ec9
File 137862666917.png - (24.61KB , 800x800 , cyberspaceland.png )

Whoa, this place is crazy! Lookit the ground. It's like I always imagined. It's like my favourite videogame: "Poorly Modeled Furry Sexual Roleplaying Simulator 3D."

>"Doolbag, this was a bad idea. How are we going to get out again?"

the important thing is it bought you time, and made plenty of space away from the fighting robots.

try talking to that furry in the distance

You still need to find the (PHAB) Amplifer so i guess you need to get downloaded by some other computer at the facility?
Maybe someone working there has a character in this game who you can take as a hostage until he downloads you back to the 'real' world.

Well there's a furry right there. So....

You should tell her about your favourite game in extensive detail!

to escape you just have to log out

Also I thought you said your favorite game was that ruby quest game.

Through another computer, duh.

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/08(Sun)19:31 No. 539918 ID: 979ec9
File 137869391608.png - (11.17KB , 800x800 , hey.png )

>>539828

Pff, well buddy, is your favourite game still the same one that it was almost two years ago? Things change.


>>539806

I go over to that fat, green guy in the distance.

Hey excuse m- UGH

Doolbag!!AwZwHkBGWx 2013/09/08(Sun)19:32 No. 539919 ID: 979ec9
File 137869393274.png - (37.29KB , 800x800 , gross.png )

>"GOODNETH GRACIOUTH. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? HEY THERE, HOWTH IT GOING? FUNNILY ENOUGH YOU ARE THE MILLIONTH PERTHON TO CROTH MY PATH TODAY. I SHOULD REWARD YOU THOMEHOW."

What an ugly thing. I dunno, he's kinda sus.

>>539919
Ask him if you could like, leave, and wind up outside your house when you get out.

compliment his high definition and ask how to get out of here

ask how you and your friend can leave.

Be wary, he might be trying to distract you while internet hooligans bypass your "firewalls" and upload a "virus worm" to your "database".

Punch it for 90exp

Doolbag 2014/07/22(Tue)00:21 No. 585273 ID: 769221
File 140601366274.png - (644.99KB , 1111x973 , wow.png )

Hey, we need to get out of this place. I like it, but it ain't my home, home-skillet. So if you can tell us how we can get out of there, it would be nice.

>"MMM, I FEEL YOU, HOME-THKILLET. I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN I WATH NOT HOME. BUT THEN I WENT HOME AND IT WATH A LOT BETTER. YEAH... GOOD TIMETH.

Right. Right. So uh, if you can point me to the nearest door...

Doolbag 2014/07/22(Tue)00:21 No. 585275 ID: 769221
File 140601369226.png - (490.72KB , 1446x818 , over there.png )

>"OH, WELL, THE NEARETHT DOOR ITH RIGHT OVER THERE. BUT IT WON'T TAKE YOU NOWHERE, NO THIR. WELL, MAYBE INTHIDE THE HOUTHE IT'TH ATTACHED TO. LOL!"

>"TO GET INTO THE THO-CALLED 'REAL WORLD' YOU NEED TO FIND A KEY, OR PAPERCLIP, AND PUT IT IN THAT KEY CLEANER RIGHT THERE, NEXTHT TO IT."

Wow, thanks for the advice. By the way.. you have beautiful skin. It's so detailed.

>"OMG, THANKTH."

It does something that reminds me of blushing.

Doolbag 2014/07/22(Tue)00:22 No. 585276 ID: 769221
File 140601372637.png - (11.63KB , 1200x1000 , idk what power outlets look like in intrnet land.png )

Here is the key cleaner. It's a shame I don't have any keys (or paperclips). I wonder where I can find something like that...

Go find a word processor. Start typing anything in it.

Well, go check out that house. Maybe there's a key in there.

hm, well you ARE in the internet right now so might as well do what anyone does when they are on the internet and need to figure something out that they don't know how to. GOOGLE it.

Doolbag 2014/07/22(Tue)02:53 No. 585287 ID: 769221
File 140602281426.png - (27.71KB , 1200x1000 , house.png )

>>585278

We go into the house. There's not much here.. I dunno what kind of person would live here, but there isn't a toilet. Oh, there's a fridge, though.

>"Don't touch the fridge, Doolbag."

Oh...

What are the chances of running into TWO Killfridges in one day? Wait - is it the same day? I could have sworn it was almost a year ago that we ran into the other fridge... but I suppose time goes slowly in moments of adrenaline-fueled terror.

There's a computer, too. That's weird. I wonder if we can go into cyber-cyber space. Haha.. cyber space. What is this, 1995?

>"Doolbag, can you please focus on finding a way out? You can engage with your strange, abstractive thoughts when we are safely home."

Sure, toots. we just need to find a key to put into that key cleaner.

>"Toots...? Doolbag, you didn't seriously buy that, did you?"

Why? What's the problem?

>"HE TOLD YOU TO PUT A KEY INTO A POWER OUTLET."

So? I did that before. I had to go to hospital and I nearly died. But I just assumed that must only happen in real life. Or if you put the key in wrong. Besides, I used a butter knife last time because I accidentally pushed a jelly baby into the gap... and let me tell you, that was a mistake. But for future reference, if you happen to lose a jelly baby to a power outlet, a butter knife gets most of it out.

>"You have brain damage, don't you?"

>>585287
Nah, probably just an idiot.
Probably.
Anyhoo, can you hack from inside the cyberspace?

You need to hack someones 3d printer and print yourselves out of the cyber space. Get on the computer.

>>585287
Go touch the fridge, Doolbag. Duc is getting far too bossy and you need to exert your independence.

Also probability tells us that it's extremely unlikely to run into two kill fridges in one day. Most likely this will be the opposite of killfridge, hugfridge.

Worst comes to worst, you could always hop into cyberspace again inside cyberspace.

>>585299

Oh wait, I didn't even notice you explicitly could do just that when I was writing that suggestion. It's settled, then; you have an escape plan ready if things go wrong.

the probability of encountering two kill fridges in one day approaches 100% with only about 22 or so chances. see if you can find out its birthday if you do encounter it again, too

>>585287
Boot up the computer and google how to get out of cyberspace.

Doolbag 2014/07/22(Tue)18:08 No. 585415 ID: ff0694
File 140607771056.png - (597.56KB , 1200x1000 , cool.png )

Yeah! I'm not gonna let Duc push me around.

>"I'm going to see if I can find a solution on the uh, internet's... internet?"

Ok, I'll just look around here..

Haha. Now to open the fridge.

Doolbag 2014/07/22(Tue)18:08 No. 585416 ID: ff0694
File 140607772327.png - (23.69KB , 1000x1200 , fridge.png )

Hmmmm... not a lot in here. Some orange juice, vinegar, severed head, candy bars. OH, and more yoghurt!

Wave at the severed head

Yeah! Candy bars! This was the best idea. Nab those babies.

Hey, this fridge has a freezer on the bottom. That means it can't be a head like Killfridge's was. Come to think of it, since this is Poorly Modeled Furry Sexual Roleplaying Simulator 3D, it's probably his dick.