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File 149462424547.png - (34.02KB , 250x188 , OP3.png )
801367 No. 801367 ID: bfb318

Previous Threads/Wiki: http://tgchan.org/wiki/Frillsby_and_Gallsby
Quest may be NSFW at times. [Warnings: Gays, Smash Bros, Magic, Nudity, Dangeresque Situations]

Frillsby and Gallsby are the only damn cops on the force. They still need to get their badges to prove it, but they're too busy with real cop duties in the small but magic heavy town of Dorb.
Expand all images
No. 801369 ID: bfb318
File 149462442986.png - (189.51KB , 900x700 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 177.png )

>"Frillsby I'm bored."
"I'm not sure why you're looking to me for a solution."
>"Because you're bored too! You should do something about it! Then I'll do it with you. Double problem double solved."
"Double solutions sound pretty good but I have no idea what even a single solution would be."
>"I dunno maybe someone committed a crime. That would solve basically a lot of issues."
"Yeah except that would be an issue by itself. So was that message you got earlier not a crime then?"

"... the message, Gallsby. On your phone. The one that I told you to look at when I heard it? From this morning?"

"Gallsby did you not look at your message?"
>"Look I tried! I tried hard but my claws just bapped the phone right off the table and it rolled like 6 feet to get under the couch."
"It's a rectangle, how does a rectangle roll?"
>"Frillsby like 3 days ago we met a goat that ate donuts instead of slept I don't see how a rolling rectangle is a difficult thing to believe!"
"There are limits, and that crosses the line. Are you sure it didn't just bounce?"
>"No it was a perfectly circular motion, like these were immaculate cartwheels. Stopping it would have destroyed something beautiful, that's how good these rolls were."
"Okay, let's say I believe in this world where rectangular prisms roll, why didn't you get it out from under the couch?"
>"It's all dirty and gross under there."
"It could have been a crime!"
>"Dirty couches aren't that bad!"
"Then get the phone! I was talking about the message anyway."
>"Oh right but my phone isn't the emergency hotline! Calling me for an emergency is a mistake!"
"Clearly! But your number is listed under the police directory, so it could have been a non-emergency crime. I'll move the couch so we can get it. Then we'll see what the message was."
>"I'll bet you that it's not a crime at all."
"What are you betting?"
>"I dunno you tell me."
No. 801370 ID: 3ce125

You're betting sexual favors.
No. 801373 ID: 211d83

Lets bet one day of being the others slave. Its traditional.

If its a crime I get to tell you what to do all day. If not you get to order me around.

From now until 24 hours later.
No. 801374 ID: da1652

Player One status for a week
No. 801375 ID: 7397ab


Best bet. Is win win really.
No. 801377 ID: a363ac

the most important thing is this.
No. 801381 ID: 3abd97

Bet your pants.
No. 801530 ID: bfb318
File 149468977399.png - (133.67KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 178.png )

"As is both tradition and the 'all of the above' option, the loser will be the winner's slave for 24 hours."
>"Wow that's extreme!"
"Are you backing down?"
>"No because I'm extreme. I hope you like getting ordered to take your pants off because that's what's about to happen!"
"Only if it's not a crime."
>"I bet it's not!"

I ignore that comeback in favor of retrieving Gallsby's phone. I prop the phone up on his recently blunted claws, and he opens up his message.

From: Unlisted
Hey is this where I report issues on the street? It's a small town so it's probably okay. Route 591 coming into town has a couple of potholes that should probably be patched up. Just thought you should know, thanks.

>"Gee that's a lot of words just to say 'Frillsby give Gallsby your pants!"
No. 801531 ID: 211d83

Wait a second there buddy. Those potholes are no doubt criminal in nature! Why I bet some bad guy is digging up his own minefield to block the way into town as we speak!

That being said you probably owe him some slavery. But maybe not knowing this crazy town.
No. 801532 ID: b412df

Who handles maintenance in his town? Are you going to have to relay this to the mayor?
No. 801535 ID: bfb318
File 149469175045.png - (145.58KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 179.png )

"Hold on Gallsby, these could be criminal potholes."
>"Your lines of believability are really weird."
"I'm sure the potholes don't approve of criminal activity, but if someone were digging a minefield, that would be as criminal as it gets."
>"A minefield, Frillsby?"
"That's what I said."
>"A minefield though?!"
"We can't rule it out."

There isn't a maintenance hotline or anything like that, so calling us was fine. There is a construction company, but they're independent contractors and just get hired by the city to do the work.

We can go straight to the construction company, and just send a bill to the city if we want to have some initiative about it. Otherwise, we'd relay this to the mayor if we don't want to go over anyone's heads.
No. 801536 ID: 3abd97

Obviously you need to go investigate these potholes to see if they're criminal or not, so you know who's removing their pant.
No. 801537 ID: 211d83

Getting the potholes fixed is important yes. But that just takes a phone call.

What you need to be doing is going to the potholes and seeing if they are in fact a actual crime. If they are not you owe Gallsby 24 hours of slaveness.

If they are a crime on the other hand you get him as a slave for the day. So get out there and find out.
No. 801538 ID: bfb318
File 149469302768.png - (182.93KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 180.png )

"I'll admit I might owe you some slave time, Gallsby, but first thing is first and we've got to deal with this?"
>"I mean do we?"
"Yes, or at least we should. We should assess the damages, and more importantly, check for any criminal acts or lack thereof. Let's go."

Route 591 is an old scenic road that's that rarely sees any running vehicle. We drive to the edge of town, and get out of our cars when it looks like there's some bad road conditions up ahead.

>"Do these count as potholes?" Gallsby asks.
No. 801539 ID: 29c4aa

They do, but it must have been caused by a very large vehicle... A magical monster jam.
No. 801540 ID: 3abd97

They look criminal to me, Gallsby.

Either someone is wrecking the road on purpose (crime!) or we have someone corrupt or incompetent in government letting the roads go to hell. Embezzling repair funds or using the concrete to build themselves a pool or something.
No. 801541 ID: 211d83

Well the likelyhood of this being a actual crime just went up. Better start imagining what sort of lewd activities you will have Gallsby do if you win.

Investigate the holes further. And the area around her for evidence.
No. 801542 ID: fc33ea

It looks like something with earth-movers for feet walked through. Anything at the bottom of the pits?
No. 801553 ID: d66c84

This just screams "giant robot".
No. 801813 ID: 8cb228


So... uh, how do you make an arrest on criminal giant robots that could probably demolish a good chunk of the state?

CAN you actually call in an airstrike or artillery strike for such things?

What's the nearest military base with some useful hardware, assuming there IS a giant robot on the loose?
No. 801816 ID: 91ee5f

This could be a giant robot. But If it's not a robot and just someone that used magic to make themselves giant, then Frillsby and Gallsby just need to touch the giant to make him/her shrink down so that they can arrest him/her. I guess it's a good thing they're anti-magic
No. 801919 ID: bfb318
File 149487299206.png - (201.67KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 181.png )

"No, Gallsby, you know what they do count as? Crimes."
>"But then where's the criminal?"
"Well, since no one's standing at a lip of any of these holes shouting about how they dug it all up, I'm stumped."
>"Every crime has a criminal, so unless we find a criminal, you can't say this is a crime!"
"That's reasonable."
>"I know."
"Have any idea what dug these holes?"
>"A giant, walking robot."
"I hope not."
>"Why not then we can just touch it and it'll shut down because there's no way a giant walking robot can exist without magic."
"I'm not sure about anything regarding the last few sentences. Let's get other ideas."
>"No we gotta think of all the options! This just screams giant robot. Can we call in airstrikes or artillery? Where's the nearest military base with planes and bombers and useful stuff for giant robots or huge monster trucks?"

I look inside the holes. There's clumps of asphalt around, but there's also a lot of chunks of concrete. I clear away some of the rubble and find empty holes, with empty conduits inside. I think this is an abandoned power line, and whatever was in here was taken out. Namely copper.

>"Frillsby are you ignoring me?!"
"I think we're dealing with a copper thief."
>"I like my ideas better."
No. 801920 ID: 3ce125

Next step: talk to the local copper scrappers. Someone sold some power cables to them, and that's not protected information.
No. 801924 ID: 3d2d5f

Well maybe if you're lucky he was stealing the copper for his giant robot.

What now? Is there a trail to follow? A black market to scope out? Someone in town with magic metal sniffing powers you can recruit to follow the stolen copper?
No. 801925 ID: e6e9af


Clearly they're in the line of high-end cookware which is also enchanted. You know that shit is made entirely of copper (and magic); that's why it's so lucrative!

Lucrative enough for crimes.

Like digging holes in a road to steal all the copper.
No. 801936 ID: b412df

Either it's a abandoned power cable, or you've got a copper thief who's immune to electricity. Go to the local scrappy to see if anyone's sold them some copper cabling.
No. 801942 ID: 211d83

Places to check for evidence.

1. Metal scrappers.
2. Heavy equipment rental places.
3. Interview people at the diesel gas station.
4. Anyone who might need lots of copper. (artists, giant robot builders, etc)

As long as whatever caused this was not a giant copper eating monster this is a crime. Someone ruined a public road for whatever reason. Even if they got permission they dug up a public road and did not leave any signs or road cones.

So you most likely won the bet unless we track down a giant copper eating mole.
No. 801950 ID: bfb318
File 149488257303.png - (157.22KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 182.png )

"I guess that giant robots would need copper, too."
"Anyways, this calls for an investigation."
>"Like a mystery or like actual police work?"
"Like actual police work."
>"Cool! Who're we going to check out."
"These holes look, well, bad, but our criminal - " Gallsby makes a face at me. "Our possible criminal still probably used heavy equipment to dig them up. There's the construction company in town that we can check out, but I don't remember them dealing with rentals. Might be worth stopping by to see. We have only one gas station in town, and chances are pretty good that a vehicle like that would need diesel fuel before getting to the next station. There's also a small scrap yard on the outskirts of town."
>"What about mild mannered neighbors that need copper and secretly live a night life of stealing copper to make ends meet?"
"Considering that there's a whole lot of places that aren't Dorb to dick up copper, a local person is definitely possible!"
>"To what up copper?"
"To dig up copper."
>"Oh okay yeah that's what you said. So where to first?"
No. 801951 ID: 3ce125

Let's go with the gas station for now. That will solidify our remaining leads.
No. 801952 ID: 211d83

Remember that the crime is not necessarily copper theft as the lines might be abandoned. But destroying a public road.

Lets hit the gas station and then the equipment yard. Whoever stole this is working at a scale that implies more than a junkie looking for scrap metal.

Oh also are there any magic dudes in town that can dig like this without equipment? Look for dig marks and or tread tracks before we leave.
No. 801954 ID: 3abd97

Gas station first.
No. 801956 ID: 3ce125

Oh, one possibility we didn't consider is that someone used magic to rip up the road. Don't need a construction vehicle for that.
No. 802273 ID: bfb318
File 149496007095.png - (176.70KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 183.png )

"I'd like to remind you, Gallsby, that even if it turns out there was no copper theft, digging holes in the road like that is a crime in of itself."
>"What if it turns out they had permission?"
"Then they didn't properly put up warning signs, cones, and so on. Really, that road should be closed off completely. Let's just go to the gas station."
>"What if they powered their heavy machinery by magic?"
"The same as if they dug holes with magic - they didn't buy diesel, and this'll be a dead end."
>"There's probably someone out there who has gasoline instead of saliva."
"That poor person."
No. 802274 ID: bfb318
File 149496013939.png - (255.55KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 184.png )

We arrive at the gas station.

"Hey, boys."
>"Hello gas station attendant." says Gallsby.
"Manager, for the extra dollar an hour it's worth."
"We're looking for someone who might be operating heavy machinery without a license."
"You boys playing investigators?"
"Yeah, basically."
>"Natural born mystery removers."
"Also cops."
"Well, afraid I don't have much for you. Only person that ever gets diesel around here is Nebster and his boys. The local construction crew and handymen, if you're not familiar. Anyway, you two gonna buy anything?
No. 802275 ID: 211d83

Get some jerky.
No. 802276 ID: 3d2d5f

>no shirts no shoes no service
What a pity neither of you has lost the bet and removed your pants yet.

Wait, Gallsby isn't wearing a shirt. And I don't remember if either of you wear shoes.

So it's probably illegal for you to buy anything.
No. 802277 ID: 3ce125

>no shoes no shirt no service
Dang, Gallsby can't buy anything. Buy a pen and lord it over Gallsby.

Then let's go talk to the Scrap Yard guy. Better to gather all the clues before we confront the suspect.
No. 802281 ID: 87353e

Buy some snacks. Get some crazy spicy cone shaped corn chips for Gallsby since they'll fit on his claws and check out the selection of questionably legal combination energy drinks.
No. 802350 ID: 96957e

Make fun of him for his weird scale acne. How do you even get acne on scales?!
No. 802373 ID: beebe1

Wait who even would be running lotto in this society how long has that stand been sitting there

also this
No. 802388 ID: 1a9fe2

Ask him if "no pants" is alright
No. 802393 ID: 91ee5f

It's called molting. His old skin is peeling off to reveal new skin underneath it.
No. 802405 ID: 3ce125

What acne? Do you mean his nostril?
No. 802454 ID: a83cb2

>no shoes no shirt no service
Dammit without shoes or a shirt Gallsby can't service the cute lizard guy!
Frllsby you'll have to do it!
No. 802486 ID: a363ac

ask if you can buy him for an extra dollar a hour
No. 802601 ID: bfb318
File 149505649736.png - (189.33KB , 900x600 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 185.png )

"I'll get some jerky and a pen. Maybe a lotto ticket to give Gallsby something to do. Gallsby, you want anything?"
>"Yeah I want some of those cone shaped corn chips since I can actually hold those!"
"No, you don't get anything."
"No shirt, no service."
>"Dang I can't service, like I'm some kind of menace to society! So I can't buy anything?"
"That's right, not till you come back with a shirt."
>"What if I wanted to buy... this shirt?!"
"I - "
"Always were a smartass. Put it on so you're not a public menace, and I'll sell it to you. Got any better questions?"
No. 802602 ID: bfb318
File 149505650946.png - (176.71KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 186.png )

>"Yeah how'd you get acne on your scales?!"
"Yeah really not helping your 'not a menace' argument, fuzz.
"They're stress fractures I got over the years from talkin' to rapscallions like you. I know it's not like a cop's gotta take advice from a gas station manager, but if you'd have a listen, I'd say you should let your buddy do the talking."
>"Well we'd buy you for an extra dollar an hour and make our own rules, but we probably don't have that kind of money! Got anything to say to him, Frillsby?"
"Where's the questionably legal combination energy drink section?"
"Spin around, walk forward, then look left."
No. 802605 ID: bfb318
File 149505676021.png - (134.43KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 187.png )

Trihype, supposedly putting the max legal limits of various energy based ingredients.

Magi, a more local drink that claims to be magically enhanced.

Then... 'Fizzy Drink', which judging by the broken english and foreign language I can't make out, is some kind of imported drink. It has a 'NOT A FOOD' label, and as such does not follow normal food regulations.
No. 802607 ID: 3abd97

Magi is right out. It might not work on you.

Go for 'Fizzy Drink'! How can you turn down a good fun swallow?
No. 802616 ID: 1a9fe2

Ask if Gallsby can offer the manager some Full Service to make up for being a menace to society.

Also, Fizzy Drink seems like an adventure in a can, go for it!
No. 802618 ID: 211d83

Buy all three and shotgun them together. Its the only way.
No. 802619 ID: 90f3c0

Get some fuzzy drink. Be sure to make some terrible innuendo when you put it on the counter. "You know what else is a good fun swallow?"
No. 802620 ID: 91ee5f

Now that I think about it, the gas station guy might not be wearing shoes behind the counter! As an officer, you have to make sure that he's following his own rules.

And yet, the sign doesn't say anything about pants, so he might not be wearing those behind that counter.

Trihype doesn't sound good.

If Magi really is magically enhanced, then you and Gallsby will only taste the unenhanced flavors because of your anti magic.

Hey, look at that! Fizzy Drink looks like it's got a fun little cartoon on the back of the can! How can you say no to something with a cartoon on it? Let's get that!

Make sure you also get one for Gallsby!
No. 802637 ID: 87353e

Get dat Fuzzy Drank!

Also don't forget to help Gallsby put his shirt on.
No. 802642 ID: 29c4aa

MY thoughts exactly, why settle at one?
No. 802646 ID: 3ce125

Fizzy Drink is possibly-illegal drugs being passed off as a non-food energy drink. Do not buy that.

Get Trihype if you want something like that.
No. 802681 ID: a363ac

good plan it will likely cause some kind of acidic fluid that has magical properties so we can throw it on faces and not have it affect Frills and Galls
No. 802749 ID: bfb318
File 149515289352.png - (101.10KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 188.png )

The thought occurs to get all three, but I can get other energy drinks another time. I need to set a good example for Gallsby by showing a tiny amount of restraint.

Which is why I am getting two cans of Fizzy Drink, even though getting Fizzy Drink in the first place isn't the most responsible choice. It'll be fine, I'm sure.

I look at the back of Fizzy Drink to see about a little cartoon. What I was looking at turns out to be poorly printed, near illegible text in a different language, but coincidentally there's still a little cartoon. It only raises the amount of questions I have.

>Remember to help Gallsby put his shirt on.
Oh dangit I nearly forgot!
No. 802750 ID: bfb318
File 149515290256.png - (187.09KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 189.png )

"Gallsby do you need help putting your shirt oooonnannd it's too late."
>"I tried Frillsby I tried my best. I dunno though this shirt kinda feels and smells funny."
"That's probly cause that the very shirt that's been up for sale since this station opened, back in 1973." says Icarus.
"Well, it's still a shirt, and you are wearing it. That's good enough."
"It honestly isn't, but in honor of making history today, I'll give it a pass."
>"This means I can service now!" Gallsby replies. "How about I give you some full service to make up for being a menace to society?"
"Frillsby, what's your boy mean?"
"He's asking if you want any help picking up some of the delivery boxes you get."
"Well that's real nice but my back's been doing better, so you two just get your goods and get back to doing what I hope's some good work."
>"Frillsby I know you know what I meant!"
"Yeah, that's why I translated poorly. We have work to do."

>Local people
No. 802762 ID: 3abd97

Scrapyard. Maybe they raided that for metal or giant robot parts, too.
No. 802764 ID: b412df

To the scrappy!
No. 802792 ID: 91ee5f

Gallsby looks like if he flexes his muscles hard enough, he'll end up ripping that shirt even more and it'll fall off!

>Where to?
Let's try the Scrapyard.
No. 802816 ID: 3ce125

No. 802829 ID: fe7355

Check the scrapyard. If a local was brazen or dumb enough to rip electrical cable out of the road for scrap value, they'd be brazen or dumb enough to sell it to the local scrapyard. ...Which does raise the question of how much they'd actually get for it compared to how much money they spent to dig it up. Copper scrap can't be going for so much that it'd be profitable enough to illegally dig it out of a road, right? Better ask the price of copper scrap once you get to the scrapyard to find out.

Also, do you remember if there was rubble from where the road was dug up dumped near the road? 'Cause if there's no sign of the asphalt and dirt, the perpetrator had to get rid of it as well. Maybe by magic, or maybe by dump truck. And they'd also need a means to transport the looted copper cable, so that means magic, throwing it on top of the dump truck's rubble load or using another truck. Counting a excavator, that's two or three heavy, noisy vehicles that people may have noticed heading out that way. Oh, and they'd have to pull the cable out of the conduits, so that's another piece of heavy machinery they'd need to do the job. This is really starting to look way more involved than makes sense for stealing copper cable, doesn't it?

>"This means I can service now!"
Actually, Gallsby still can't 'cause he isn't wearing any shoes or other footwear. (Last image showing his feet was in thread 2, >>/questarch/721270, and I'm not going to re-read everything to check if he started wearing shoes after that point.) And since it's highly doubtful that this gas station also has GoGo Gas branded sandals in Gallsby's size, for the time being all (legal) servicing will have to be performed by Frillsby. Sorry, Gallsby.
No. 803347 ID: 15a025

Let's go scrapping at the scrap yard!
No. 803664 ID: bfb318
File 149549310814.png - (237.46KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 190.png )

Recalling the scene of the crime, there was no rubble to the side, and the holes weren't filled in, so there wass definitely a deficiency of road material.

Magic is starting to look more and more likely. If it was cost effective to pull out the copper using normal heavy machinery, then I would think that the city, or whoever's in charge of it, would've taken it all out as part of the abandonment process.

"Let's go to the scrapyard, Gallsby. Maybe they'll serve you, unless they want shoes, too."
"Wait, you guys aren't wearing any shoes?" Icarus asks.
>"Frillsby that's our cue to get outta here! What're those drinks you got there?" Gallsby asks while we take said cue.
"Fizzy Drink. No idea what it is, but it was in the energy drink section."
>"Frillsby you know that we basically have no choice in our lives but to drink those."
"I know, that's why I got them."
>"Oh yeah. What else have that you got there?"
"It's a pen."
>"Okay but why did you get a pen?!"
"Does it bug you, Gallsby, to see me holding a pen?"
>"You better not think it gets to me because it doesn't! I don't care. Nope no way it's getting to me. I can totally hold a pen."
"Yeah, well I bet you can't do this."

I start twirling the pen in my hand. I remember that I never twirled pens before, and I immediately drop it, and it bounces into a storm drain.

>"Haha do you believe in karma?!"
"This is a very biased time in my life to be asking that. I even got you a lotto ticket to show how much better you are at scratching those off."
>"What that's so nice you should've said that first before twirling pens in my face!"
"Just try not to flex your fluff, you'll rip your undersized shirt."
>"You're asking a lot. My fluff is too powerful for these constraints."

We'll head to the scrapyard next, but now that I hold these energy drinks in my bag, I realize that this may be too much power. We can drink them now, or save it for some kind of special occasion, someday.
No. 803668 ID: 3ce125

Special occasion. Probably shouldn't drive after drinking that stuff.
No. 803678 ID: 90f3c0

Tests it out on Gallsby first, to make sure it doesn't impair your crime solving ability.
No. 804196 ID: bfb318
File 149566144475.png - (165.49KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 191.png )

"Okay Gallsby, we're going to save these drinks for later."
>"What when?"
"For a special occasion."
>"Drinking these is a special occasion!"
"I can't argue against that, but that just means the next special occasion will be double the occasion."
>"Or we could have 2 special occasions instead of 1."
"Or we could have our first double special occasions we've ever had in our lives."
>"Alright, I'm convinced. So where to next?"
"The scrapyard."

We drive over. It's not as far away as I thought it would be.
No. 804197 ID: bfb318
File 149566145442.png - (224.96KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 192.png )

Someone comes up to the car.

>"Hey, welcome! I'm Gale. How you two doing?" he says.
"Hello, we're doing as well as it gets. We're on an investigation, actually."
>"We're gonna arrest someone!" Gallsby says.
"We're the police force. I don't think we've met."
>"Ohhhhhh." Gale says, way more distraught than a second ago. "I, uh. huh. That so. That's... I mean, that's fine! Of course. Just wasn't expected. So, uh, what seems to be the problem, and all that?
"We're looking for someone who's been stealing copper. Has anyone come by, recently, selling you copper scrap?"
>"Copper scrap? Over here we call it common scrap cause it's so... common. Right after, well, some people treat our place like a garbage dump, so I guess common right after garbage. Anyway yeah we get copper just about every day."
No. 804198 ID: 3ce125

Describe the exact sort of copper scrap. They don't get the same kind of copper every day so you can narrow down the suspect pool a bit.
No. 804199 ID: 3abd97

Lots of copper? Like, big wires that were buried under the road, copper?

>How you two doing?
>So, uh, what seems to be the problem, and all that?
This guy asks a lot of questions for someone standing under a sign that claims "no questions asked."
No. 804203 ID: e6e9af


We're looking for the biggest, thickest, heftiest, longest "copper pipes" you've got. If you know what I mean.
No. 804204 ID: 90f3c0

There can't be many people selling wire of that size. Ask to see their recent acquisitions.
No. 804207 ID: 91ee5f

He got really nervous really fast as soon as you guys mentioned you were cops. He's not doing anything illegal here is he?
No. 804214 ID: 3ce125

Scrap yards are technically not illegal but they accept stolen scrap very frequently. Obviously stolen scrap, even.

Maybe it would be best to reassure him about that? Tell him we're just looking for someone that tore huge holes in the road to get at some copper cables. The copper itself being stolen isn't the big deal, here, it's the road damage.
No. 804215 ID: ddd967

Hey, that sign says "no questions asked", but he just asked two or maybe three questions if you count "copper scrap?" as a question.

That's false advertising!
No. 804218 ID: 211d83

Cute ears Gale.

So Gale do you know about municipal ordinance 113b? I mean working as a scrapyard tech I would certainly hope you would.

It clearly states that if any scrapyard employee knowingly or unknowingly buys stolen scrap they are subject to numerous legal penalties.

For instance having Gallsby here nibble on your ears in sensual fashion.

Serious business Gale. But also I am just screwing with you.

But back to the point. Did you get any heavy duty copper or aluminum wires in recently? Like municipal backbone stuff from a underground power line?

Also can we take a look around your fine scrapyard?
No. 804219 ID: bfb318
File 149567024527.png - (122.40KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 193.png )

"Can you be more specific, as to what kind of copper you get every day?"
>"Just some people dumping off old phones and pieces of car and whatever. Copper's all over the place. Were you, uh, looking for some copper from a certain source?"
>"You sure ask a lot of questions for someone in front of a 'no questions asked' sign!" says Gallsby, raising a good point.
>"Ahah yes well that's more for inside the store itself. If you guys are inside, you won't hear a question from me!"
"Yes. We're looking for some big copper wire sales."
>"The biggest." says Gallsby.
"The industrial kind."
>"The thickest."
"With the size and quantity of cable we're talking about, you can't see it that often."
>"The heftiest."
"We'd like to see your recent acquisitions."
>"The longest."
"The scenic roads are damaged, by the way, going out of town. We're more concerned about that, than stolen copper."
>"Well, I mean, I don't know anything about that, obviously,, but yeah come on down I'll show you to the copper room. Where we keep the best copper specimens, and the biggest ingots we bother making."

Gale motions us, and I'll just leave my scarf in my car.
No. 804220 ID: bfb318
File 149567026102.png - (111.31KB , 900x600 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 194.png )

He leads us down into the basement, where it looks like there's an assortment of storage units. He leads us to the one that says 'copper' and opens it up. We walk inside.

>"Well there is it. All my.... uh... copper."
"I don't see any."
>"Also, there's a big tunnel in the back of this copper room." Gallsby adds.
>"... the hell."
>"Well, I guess it's just become a copper room again, now that we're here, huh Frillsby!!"
"How long have you been waiting that copper joke, Gallsby?"
>"We'd better be careful not to get stolen!! Also ever since we saw stolen copper!"

>"Where the hell is all my copper?!" asks Gale.
No. 804221 ID: 3abd97

Follow that tunnel!
No. 804222 ID: 3ce125

Oh dear. Looks like someone is stealing copper to either sell it to a different scrapyard, or to do something else with it.

Tell Gale you'll try to get his stolen materials back. Let's go into the tunnel!
No. 804223 ID: fc33ea

Well if that isn't a crime I don't know what is. Follow the tunnel, maybe?
No. 804224 ID: 211d83

Gale I am sorry to say you have been burgled. When was the last time anyone was in this room?

Also have Gallsy go check to see where that hole goes to.

So I guess the question now is do you know anyone with tunneling powers or a pet giant mole? Maybe the mole is magic?

(Hmmm if it is a giant copper eating mole this is only a crime if its a intelligent giant mole. Otherwise it would just be a pest issue. So be prepared to throw the book at a mole so you don't loose the bet.)
No. 804225 ID: a363ac

"looks like we are going to have to plunge deep and long into this tunnel to get to the bottom of this shitshow."
No. 804235 ID: 8cb228

Do you all know anything about forensics? Maybe there are clues! Time to search the room for clues on who/what did this!
No. 804251 ID: fb350c

Look how good police you guys are you managed to arrive to investigate a crime before the person it happened to even reported it
No. 804444 ID: bfb318
File 149575657813.png - (166.68KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 195.png )

"Looks like you've been burgled."

Gale throws up his hands.

>"Ya think?!"
"Don't worry, we'll get to the bottom of this."
>"We'll go long." says Gallsby.
"And we'll go hard. I don't suppose you'd conveniently know of anyone with tunneling abilities?"
>"Or a giant pet mole?"
"Can't rule that either."
>"Uhhh..." Gale looks around. Apparently it's a question he needs to think about. "No. Not like this, no. You're sure you can capture who stole my copper?"
"Yeah. I'm sure."
>"We're good cops." Gallsby says.
"So good we got to the scene of a crime before it even happened."

Gale lets out something I think is a cut off laugh.


>Do you all know anything about forensics?
Not much, but we have someone who we go to for all of our forensic needs.

For now, I look into the tunnel, but it doesn't look that structurally sound. There's some odd etch marks near the entrance.
No. 804448 ID: 3ce125

...could be outright set up to collapse on the first person to investigate. Poke it with a stick!
No. 804453 ID: 3abd97

Looks sorta like a fist?

Call your forensics guys, then head on in, heedless of the danger.
No. 804454 ID: 9a2274

Get some cell phone pics and have Gale lock the room off. Then get your forensic guy a ring.
No. 804468 ID: 91ee5f

Are those.....teeth marks?
No. 804473 ID: 8cb228

Call in your forensics guy! CSI/Lab Tech/Detective/Geeky guy with the cool blue light!
No. 804600 ID: fe7355

Okay, first, hold still, tell Gallsby to hold still, and look at the floor for footprints that aren't either yours, his or Gale's. Anybody who walked down a dirt tunnel like this one is bound to have tracked soil in here and might have left a footprint. You just gotta hope you two lunkheads didn't walk over 'em. If you spot some, take a phone picture of them and make sure not to step on them.

Second, call your forensics person out here to do a proper evidence collection. Third, borrow Gallsby's phone, flick its flashlight mode on, and have him hold it up to light the tunnel so you can get better photos of it and the etch marks with your phone than if you used its flash alone. Get multiple angles. And if Gallsby's phone doesn't have a flashlight mode, ask Gale if he could lend you a flashlight.

Next, you two carefully pick your way back to the entrance and ask Gale when was the last time he or anyone else he knows of was down in the copper scrap storage. That'll establish the time after which the place was cleaned out.

Then go with Gale to check if any of the other scrap storage areas was tunneled into, along with any other areas of the scrapyard that could be tunneled into that contain more valuable, non-scrap items. It's possible the burglar may have taken more than just copper scrap while they were here.

Also point out that if there's anything heavy on the level above the tunneled out corner of the basement it should be moved since the structural integrity of the foundation is compromised. Probably gonna need to stick some temporary supports in here after the forensics work is done so the floor or wall above doesn't collapse.
No. 804607 ID: a363ac

might as well see if forensics dude can get anything from this location.
No. 804710 ID: bfb318
File 149591653541.png - (136.16KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 196.png )

"Hold on Gallsby, we need to do this carefully. There's evidence, and stuff. I'm going to text our forensics guy to get over here, and take some pictures of this crime scene. Let me borrow your phone to light it up for better pictures."
>"Okay! Should we get out the crime tape?"
"No, Gallsby, the last time I let you have the tape, it looked like the crime scene was toilet papered, except with crime tape."
>"It was a crime so perfect that it wasn't even a crime."
"That's wrong. Multiple forms of wrong."
>"At long as it's an even number of wrongs, we're in the clear. Math supports it!"
"It absolutely does not."
>"Are you saying that wrongs aren't a negative? And two negatives..."
"Add up to even a bigger negative! Also, are these teeth marks?"
>"Wow I dunno. Let's find out."
"Gallsby don't bite the rocks, that's evidence!"
"Gale, can you lock this room up and wait outside for our forensics guy to show up?"
>"Yeah, sure thing."
"Oh, when was the last time someone looked in this storage?"
>"Must've been... three days ago."
No. 804712 ID: bfb318
File 149591660054.png - (110.56KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 197.png )

While we wait for our forensics, we try to find some footprints either down here or out there, but even though it looks like all the dirt is disturbed, we don't see anything that looks like footprints. Everything up top is clear, so it won't be a big deal if this tunnel collapses. We'd poke our head in, but having tons of rocks fall on us is definitely not magically inflicted damage.

Our forensics guy comes while we're down in the storage cell.

"Oh hi Frillsby hi Gallsby!" says Yams. "What do you need lifted? I can lift anything!"
"We have a mystery on our hands. We need forensics."
"Oh gosh I told you guys before I don't really know anything about forensics! I'm really only good at lifting things!"
"Yeah, and we need to lift the shroud of mystery away from this crime. You've done it before."
"I still don't know! I kind of meant physical objects, you guys!"
"Someone made this tunnel, probably with magic, but those look like teeth marks."
"Yeah they do, good work Frillsby! I can pull off this rock, take it back to my forensics kit and test for saliva? And find their DNA I guess?"
>"See Yams you even have a forensics kit!"
"Yeah you guys asked for this kind of thing before and I just knew I had to help, so I picked one up. Now I'm glad I kept it around!
"And that's why we call you for help, Yams."

It'll take awhile for Yams to do his lifting, so Gallsby and I have some time to either faff about, or not.
No. 804713 ID: ddd967

Well, you should tell Yams about Gallsby biting the rocks there just now, so he doesn't get confused.
No. 804714 ID: 3ce125

I guess let's go talk to some local people and see if they're missing any copper.
No. 804717 ID: 3abd97

Yams had better take a bite mark and saliva sample from Gallsby to rule him out since he went and bit a rock.

...biting Yams would probably work, right?
No. 804722 ID: 90f3c0

Check out the other side of the tunnel, the culprit may have left more evidence there. Whoever dug it probably took the shortest possible route, so the entrance should be right outside the scrapyard fence.

Also, are they any known magical uses for a crap load of copper? The thief has to be doing something with it.
No. 804773 ID: 15a025

Ask Gallsby if the tunnel tasted like copper at all?
No. 804857 ID: 3740b1

I think Gallsby should faff about. In Frillsby's butt parts. Not enough of that today, and you're just waiting on Yams anyway right?
No. 804930 ID: bfb318
File 149602482743.png - (196.93KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 198.png )

>Also, are they any known magical uses for a crap load of copper?
None that I've heard of, but if someone can make magical use out of donuts but not biscuits, then there's almost certainly a magical use for copper.

"Anyways, Yams. Gallsby here took a bit out of the rock to see what teeth marks look like."
>"Mine aren't like the culprit's at all!"
"Correct, and neither is the saliva, so Yams, make sure you get a sample of Gallsby's so that all your work doesn't accuse Gallsby of a crime he probably didn't commit."
"We wouldn't want that!"
>"What do you mean probably?!"
"You chomped down on that rock pretty happily. Did the tunnel taste like copper?"
>"No it tasted like dirt, and my mouth is nothing like his! Yams should take a sample of my bite marks, too."
"I'd like to, but I don't have anything on me that would make a good imprint."
>"There's you, Yams! I could bite you!"
"That should be fine as long as you don't do it too hard!"

It's barely fine, but it's fine enough to happen.

"Hahaha that tickles that ticklOKAY TOO HARD."

"Gale, I'll let you know when we find something."
>"Tell me honestly, officer, what are the chances I'm ever going to see my copper again?"
"With the revelation that our perpetrator may simply eat rocks, ore and minerals, there's a good chance the copper is gone. If that's the case, then you'll just have to get a lawyer to settle dues."
>"Okay. I really need it back, you know."
"Alright. Gallsby, let's go."

>Do stuff with locals
>Do stuff with Gallsbys
I think I can manage both. For the locals, I've should compile a list of questions that I'll be asking.
No. 804932 ID: 9a2274

We should track down someone who knows magic junk and see what copper might be used for.
No. 804933 ID: 8cb228

We should track down someone who knows science and engineering junk and see what copper might be used for.

No. 804935 ID: 934a60

Can you do sexual stuff with Gallsby though? That takes focus!
No. 804941 ID: 3ce125

Find out if anyone new's come into town within the past 3 days. Especially anyone who's been asking about copper or been seen carrying around copper in their vehicle or on their person. Ask about anyone who's got magic able to dig through rock.
No. 804946 ID: 90f3c0

>our perpetrator may simply eat rocks, ore and minerals

Is there someone you can ask about magical copper-eating beasts? Maybe this is more of a animal control issue than a theft.
No. 804959 ID: 3740b1

Yup yup
No. 804991 ID: bfb318
File 149607921829.png - (193.27KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 199.png )

We make another pass at the top side of the tunnel, but the tunnel was dug in a clearing, so we just have Gale set a perimeter around the tunnel until it can be properly filled in.

Gallsby and I say goodbye, then drive off to a private parking spot so that Gallsby and I can focus on the case. I begin calling people while Gallsby does as Gallsbys do.
No. 804993 ID: bfb318
File 149607925517.png - (111.69KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 200.png )

"Villi's speaking! How can I help?"
"Hey Villi, it's Frillsby."
"Oh hi!"
"I'm on a case. Do you know about what magical uses copper might be used for?"
"Oh, huh, hum... uh... geez, could be a lot! I think I had a great uncle that could turn gold into lead by licking it."
"Did it work in reverse."
"No, it... our family considers it their greatest missed jackpot, and family gatherings always turn into where we'd all be if his magic was able to be reversed. It's not healthy, and that's probably why Mr. Rocky hates family gatherings most of... ack, sorry, I'm doing it too now, sorry!""
"No worries, Villi. Now, have you seen or heard of anyone who's came into town recently? With an enormous mouth?"
"N-no, I mean, I had a couple of people passing through, I think, but they didn't have big mouths or anything. They didn't order anything weird, either."
"Got it, thank you."
No. 804994 ID: bfb318
File 149607927054.png - (145.26KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 201.png )

Randy would be good to call.

"Hello, friend, thank you for calling Randy's Diner, how may I be of service?"
"Hey, Randy, do you have a minute to talk?"
"You know things about engineering and science, correct?"
"I am no licensed engineer, but I have been known to have practiced knowledge to the physical elements."
"What might copper be used for, if someone were eating it?"
"Eating? I have never attempted to use it in my dishes, but I admit, the thought simply never occurred to me. Is it someone who eats it for magical purposes?"
"Probably. Also, it may not be a person, but just an animal."
"Of course. Well, copper has great uses, but primarily because it's such a good conductor of heat and electricity. Now mind, that it isn't necessarily the best at such tasks, but not just is it good, but it is relatively cheap compared to the alternatives. For a magical creature to eat it? Have you heard of the saying 'you are what you eat'? Perhaps this magical beast is the same way, and its own properties are used to transfer heat, electricity, or both. That, or alternatively, this creature is the sort of social butterfly that is not the funniest or most helpful, but is always available to their peers."
"That may be helpful. Have you seen anyone with a big mouth, or otherwise suspicious, that's come into town in the last three days?"
"I can confidently say that if such an individual has entered the town, then they came and left in a manner most unceremonious. And if it were a beast, then they are just a small one."
"Alright. Thank you, Randy."
"I am always glad to be of service. Do stop by soon, so that I may serve later in ways that compliment my expertise."

I spend some time calling up a few others, but I get no new information. There are a couple of people that might be able to use their magic to dig through rock, but not in the ways we've seen.
No. 804995 ID: bfb318
File 149607930541.png - (108.66KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 202.png )

I'm almost stumped for who else to call, when Yams calls.

"Hey, Yams. What's going on."
"Well, heh, I kinda got results..."
"Really? That's sooner than I expected."
"Yeahhhhhh.... there was no saliva or, well, anything at all."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah! Whoever took a bite out of it must have the cleanest, driest mouth ever! That or washed the rock, but I'm not finding evidence of that either. There's really just a handful of rocks in that tunnel that just have dents that form the same of a mouth. Sorry, guys."
No. 804996 ID: 262ceb

Or... the creature that ate the copper was A ROBOT!!

Obviously a being with wires and stuff for insides would need copper, and a giant robo mouth wouldn't leave any saliva or anything!
No. 804997 ID: 9a2274

If it is something that chewed out that tunnel it might be non organic. Like a elemental creature or something like it?

Best to not focus on the bite mark thing to much as it might be a red herring.

Ask Yams if he can check the "bites" for any signs of metal. If it had metal or diamond or whatever teeth he should be able to get some hints by looking at it under a microscope.

As for you two why not check out the local power company? See if they noticed the lines missing and when.
No. 805000 ID: e22b1d

Gallsby you are not working hard enough down there if Frillsby can talk to three people that calmly.

You need to up your game and get him squirming and gasping.
No. 805001 ID: 3abd97

Sounding more like a robot, then.

Thanks, Yams.

Who knows anything about robot hunting?
No. 805006 ID: 3ce125

So we're looking for a robot or a golem. Golem's probably more likely. Still no leads on how to find the thing though, huh? Hey, Yams should at least be able to tell you what size mouth this thing has.

OH. We could maybe set a trap for it if we can locate a bunch of copper?
No. 805050 ID: bfb318
File 149609455222.png - (197.07KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 203.png )

"... so we might have a robot on our hands. Perhaps an elemental or golem?"

Gallsby's eyes light up.

>Gallsby not working hard enough
He's doing fine. I have perfected my blowjob recipient composure.

"Yams, can you look into the teeth marks to find if it looks like a certain metal was used?"
"Yeah, actually, I was just thinking! I'll double check, but the marks looked like they were made out of steel, if I really had to guess. Uh, same as just what was used to make the tunnel, with big claws or something?"
"How big is the mouth?"
"I think the front tooth to the back tooth is about the size of your head. Including your frills."
"Alright. Let me know if you notice anything else, Yams, thank you."

Someone in town may know a thing or two about fighting robots. Maybe Randy or Khivat, but that's just a guess.

I make some calls to the power company, but since the road lines were abandoned, they have no monitoring system active to detect any breaks in the line. No other lines are detected or reported as broken.

>"A trap!" Gallsby pulls back to say.
"Yes, a trap might help, or just a stakeout if we know where they'll strike next."
No. 805051 ID: 3abd97

Well let's figure it out then: where's the next biggest load of copper our criminals are gonna blow?
No. 805054 ID: 3ce125

If the perp isn't going after copper that's in use... is there a garbage dump nearby? Not all copper winds up in the hands of the scrapyard, after all.
No. 805055 ID: 9a2274

Are there any mad scientists in town? Or mysterious research labs? Or old spooky universities?

Might want to track down anyone who might have built a robot.

As for a trap well you could find a big pile of copper and make sure news gets out about it existence. Then wait and watch it.
No. 805056 ID: e22b1d

Have Gallsby finish you off and then switch places and take care of his dick while he is driving to the next spot on the list.

I would try to find any robot making scientists in town. Or find a metal refinery and put out a add for a copper festival or something to lure the perp in.
No. 805060 ID: bb78f2

You know, if its a big powerful robot, magical or not it probably has a large electronic signature. If you have a dude that can sense electromagnetic waves either trough magic ability or through a big radar that would help. Know any military base if you don't know anyone personally? I'm sure they might help with that.

Dickslap Gallsby a little and tell him to work the balls
No. 805062 ID: 90f3c0

The power company must have some spools of copper wire and such for maintenance and new construction. See if there's a storage facility you can stake out.
No. 805069 ID: 3ce125

...hey, we could ask the scrapyard guy who he usually sells copper to. His customers could get hit too!
No. 805484 ID: bfb318
File 149636091802.png - (185.30KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 204.png )

"So we'd need to watch the biggest load of copper around."
>"There's one right in front of me!"
"... work the balls, Gallsby. There's no real stockpiles. The spare stuff the power company would use would probably be in neighoring towns, not in this little hamlet. I don't think anyone here makes robots, or is a mad scientist, or anything like that. If they do, they're well hidden, and we wouldn't be able to get the military to try to detect something like that unless we had proof."

I call Gale again, and get the information that he typically sells mass amounts of copper to Jacksonville, but keeps scraps of it around for small time use around town, but there's no other big stores of it.

The only other place with a lot of copper is the road that was damaged. Come to think of it, the copper was removed between the dug holes, but not beyond those. So, there must still be a lot of copper in that road, since the few holes there were only covering a small stretch.

"Let's go to the construction agency next, Gallsby."
>"We can trade places and I'll drive!"
"We are absolutely not driving while I give you a blowjob."
>"What why not."
"Claws. Blowjob. Public."
>"Yeah all those are involved."
"They are, in ridiculous acts that won't happen while I'm on duty!"
>"If we can't drive to a place in town without someone getting a blowjob on the way, then honestly, where are we even as a society?!"
"I don't know, but we as people will be at the construction agency."
>"Yeah but what about blowjob karma?"
>"For every blowjob act out there, there has to be an equal but opposite blowjob in returned! Otherwise the universe is out of whack or something I guess until I get that blowjob."
"I'll give you one later, but until then, the universe just has to manage to work with a blowjob imbalance."
No. 805486 ID: bfb318
File 149636095763.png - (144.60KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 205.png )

15 minutes later, at the construction agency.
No. 805487 ID: 3ce125

>For every blowjob act out there, there has to be an equal but opposite blowjob in returned!
Wow, does Villi know about this?

Uhhhh... what time is it? Are they supposed to be closed? If not, go around back to see if the manager's taking a break or something. Or call them, see if someone's inside paying attention to the phones.
No. 805490 ID: a363ac

"Oh no frillsby the blowjob imbalence is compeling me to get the lotion and start giving you a hand job you have to correct the balence Frilsby!"
No. 805491 ID: 262ceb


You see how the universe punishes you for your blowjob karma debts?
No. 805493 ID: e6e9af


Hell with it, pound his butt.
No. 805494 ID: 91ee5f

"..........this doesn't prove anything. Now, if it were to happen another 2 or 3 times, then I'd believe you."
No. 805497 ID: 9a2274

Is it past 5? Or are they closed early for some reason?
No. 805498 ID: 3abd97

Is it even 5 yet.
No. 805513 ID: bb78f2

Nah, we get pounded in the butt.
Do we even HAVE lube on us?
No. 805515 ID: 3740b1

Lube is for sissies. Grab your knees and grit your teeth.
No. 805521 ID: 1a9fe2

We need to fix the karma ASAP, they'll assuredly come back as soon as Gallsby, well, you know.
No. 805649 ID: bfb318
File 149645384247.png - (197.70KB , 1200x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 206.png )


>"BLOW M-"
"Gallsby this proves nothing! Even if it's only 3 pm!"
No. 805650 ID: bfb318
File 149645385369.png - (112.94KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 207.png )

>"IIII dunno!"
"Not a thing!"
"Maybe if things keep going wrong, then maybe I'd consider i-"
>"Wait! Frillsby. Hold on."
>"Stop. I hear something."


>"It's the universe, Frillsby, can't you hear it? It's all 'oooo Frillsby's gotta give Gallsby a blowjob right here and now or else crime is going to continue onnnnnn!'"
"I'll pound you in the butt if you keep up this nonsense."
>"You must really want to pound the butt! But I still need that BJ. For the universe' sake. I mean I'll handle whatever else afterwards but the mouth is an important first step!"
"What about Villi?"
>"... Frillsby! That's it! That imbalance must be why there's been a crime in the first place! We should go to Villi's right now and get our blowjobs!"

I call the construction agency's number, but no one picks up, and there's no sign of anyone around.

>"So what do we do nowww?" Gallsby says, knowing exactly what he wants to do now.

But to give in now would be to give affirmation to blowjob karma, and I don't know if I can ever indulge something so ridiculous.
No. 805651 ID: f08985

The only way blowjob karma is a thing would be if Gallsby is enforcing it. Is Gallsby holding things up to get a blowjob? That's obstruction of justice!
No. 805652 ID: 8cb228

No such thing as blowjob karma! Do police work, THEN you can negotiate blowjob stuff. As a reward.
No. 805654 ID: a363ac

We must go to Villi's for blowjobs and buttpoundings
No. 805655 ID: 3ce125

Knock on the door. Check around back. Generally investigate.
No. 805657 ID: bb78f2

You have nothing really else to do besides think what to do next, and it can be less about the Karma and giving back to your friend (boyfriend? Roommate with benefits? Cop Partner with benefits? I don't actually know what you mean to each other) what he gave, so you can blow while you think about options.

Also, so you can pound dat ass later and not feel guilty about it. Order of perations and that. Also so that Frillsby will stop annoying you about Blowjob Karma, you can bear teeth a little bit if he starts thinking your affirming blowjob karma.

Also, you can literally say that if blowjob karma exists, its magic, and magic doesn't effect you two, so that's not the explanation for the events.
No. 805658 ID: 29c4aa

Yeah you're right, It's the only way to get the copper back.
No. 805662 ID: 91ee5f

This place closes at 5, so since it's only 3, there should be someone here! The fact that everything is quiet and no one is here, means something is wrong! Very, very wrong!

You guys should head inside and see if you can find out what's going on. For all you know, they could be tied up and gagged and locked in a room somewhere, while a criminal and/or a group of criminals are doing bad things!
No. 805663 ID: 9a2274

Might as well test this karma idea. At the doughnut shop.
No. 805664 ID: 91ee5f

>Also, you can literally say that if blowjob karma exists, its magic, and magic doesn't effect you two, so that's not the explanation for the events.
Also, this.
No. 805665 ID: 3abd97

The best cop out.

Which you are entitled to take. As a cop.
No. 805672 ID: fc33ea

Enter the premises without asking permission, as police officer do.
No. 805673 ID: 3bc54d

They need a warrant, or else there will be lawsuits.
No. 805678 ID: d1e4a8

They are the law!
No. 805679 ID: 3bc54d

They're law enforcers. They have to follow the law more than anyone else, lest they become corrupt.
No. 805680 ID: 91ee5f

Actually, they won't be breaking a law.

According to a few internet searches, "There are cases in which police can legally search without a warrant if probable cause is established or if consent is given by an individual."

All we need is to establish a probable cause, since there isn't anyone here to give consent.
No. 805690 ID: 3ce125

We don't have probable cause, therefore we cannot legally go in. Going in would be breaking the law.
No. 805693 ID: 401e9c

You must counter his argument with vigorous pounding, and there's a good reason: If you really give it to him, and things go right, then his blowjob karma theory is completely out the window. A generalized lewd karma system would have to be further explored, but we can take this one step at a time.

Also you could just sneak into the office and find some evidence or something that way but who cares about that?
No. 805695 ID: 3bc54d

Why not just have a stakeout? You can blow Gallsby while you wait for something to happen.
No. 805698 ID: 3740b1

That works. Or at least head to the goat to get some doughnut holes filled.
No. 805701 ID: e6e9af


I would sooner believe in Impending Butt-Stuff Karma.

Because your boner is pointing right towards Gallsby's posterior.
No. 805702 ID: e6e9af


I see what you did there, and I heartily approve. Let's get Villi, get some munchies, help scrub some dishes to pass the time, and see if he has any "specials" on "donut holes."
No. 805704 ID: 91ee5f

But this is a fictional setting! Real world logic about the law probably doesn't apply here, so they might be allowed to go in anyways. Especially if Gallsby decides to go in when Frillsby says not to and has to follow him in.

Or we could just say this place of business closing early without any noticeable reason and not being a holiday of some kind, is considered suspicious.
No. 805713 ID: e6e9af


Maybe their lunch ran really late because they had to keep up with Blowjob Karma?
No. 805716 ID: 4c47f2

Right, something doesn't seem right here. Call out to see if anyone's in, since it could just be someone on their break? Definitely investigate though, do you need to get a warrant or something first?
No. 805780 ID: 15a025

You're cops in hot pursuit of criminal activity! I'd say that's enough of a reason to charge in even though they're closed!
No. 805926 ID: bfb318
File 149662686199.png - (161.93KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 208.png )

"Maybe, Gallsby, maybe we'll do something about this 'blowjob karma', but it can't effect us."
>"Why so?"
"If such a thing existed, then it would be magical."
>"Oh right anti-magic. Yeah okay but it can affect everything around us, and our surroundings can affect us! Like this place being closed!"
"True. Which is why before we do anything, we're going to snoop around this agency to make sure there's no criminals inside."
>"Oh! Are we going to force our way in?"
"What? No. We're just going to look in the windows and maybe the back area. That's it."
>"Then don't use words like 'snoop'!"
"Don't use terms like 'blowjob karma'!"

We look around, but the place is quiet. We can see clearly inside, and it doesn't look like there's been a struggle or anything like that, so no probable cause justification for entering without a warrant. Most likely, the owners just decided to take off early or something. It happens from time to time, if business is slow.
No. 805927 ID: bfb318
File 149662687877.png - (133.85KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 209.png )

"Fine, Gallsby, we'll test this theory of yours. No, hypothesis. No, actually, more of an inane thought process."
>"You keep downgrading it!"
"Something so ridiculous takes effort to describe."
>"Soooo wanna go to Villi's and get some blowjobs?"
"We could pry him away from the counter at 3 AM, but now it is the opposite, at 3 PM. He will want to serve customers."
"Customers that don't want to be served by people getting blowjobs."
>"Cause it's against health codes?"
"Yes. Every health code out there, legal and personal."
>"I don't know Frillsby I bet he'd love to have the favor returned. The only other option is that we hide behind our car right and you return the favor to me right here and now!"
No. 805929 ID: a363ac

I bet he doesn't even have any customers right now Frillsby. everyone is at work or somewhere that is not a bakery I bet.
No. 805931 ID: bb78f2

Some people take late lunches, like those who start at noon or 11 ish. That shift.

3 is also when schools get out, so he's probably serving a bunch of teens and kids.

Do we want to arrest ourselves and make all three of us sex offenders when we're caught by minors?
No. 805936 ID: 9a2274

Stop by the donut shop to get donuts. And if things are slow persuade Villi to join you both for a 15 minute break upstairs. Will not break any health rules if you do it in private and wash your hands after.

I mean he already owes Gallsby a blowjob so you need to save him from the cruel fate of a blowjob karmic imbalance.

If you both work on Gallsby at the same time it should fix things nicely.
No. 805954 ID: e6e9af



Okay, let's test this theory. Pound Gallsby in the butt right here and now (behind the car, that is) then we'll go find Villi and get him to give Gallsby a blowjob. If everything turns out dandy for Villi, then maybe blowjob karma is real. If nothing happens and we just end up pounding Gallsby in the butt and he gets a blowjob, well ... we'll write it down and then it counts as science.
No. 805955 ID: 3abd97

Wait wait wait. Forget blowjob karma.

What about bet karma? We've clearly established the missing copper is a crime now, so Gallsby owes you his pants.

Pants karma!
No. 805958 ID: 91ee5f

Don't call it that. You'll just give Gallsby a reason not to give up his pants by using the "karma can't affect us since we're anti-magic" logic that Frillsby just used on him!
No. 805966 ID: 1a9fe2

We gotta get a wide set of evidence here to make sure what kinds of karma are and are not happening here. Buttstuff here (which has the added bonus of being able to keep an eye on the office), then blowjobs with the gote. Then we see what happens!
No. 806355 ID: bfb318
File 149678436420.png - (177.84KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 210.png )

>"Or also," Gallsby continues, "We could act on the fact that Villi probably doesn't even have customers right now."
"That's a bold assumption, Gallsby and also a rude one for Villi."
>"It's the truth."
"It's rude."
>"Then we just found out, again, that the truth is rude. I'm gonna text Villi right now and see how many customers he's got!"
"What about bet karma? We've concluded that this stolen copper is a crime, and as far as I'm concerned, you owe me pants."
>"You concluded that on your own! We don't know that until we've caught us a criminal. Look, we need to get all this karma straightened out."
"So if I pounded you in the butt, just that, karma would get even worse, is what you're saying?"
"What about partners that are set on who's the pitcher and catcher?"
>"That's a life of crime and disaster, Frillsby."

He starts clawing in the dirt.

"Gallsby don't write weird stuff in the dirt."
>"It's too late. It's done."
"You're doing it right now!"
>"It'll be too late in the future, when it's done. Okay, so here's the outstanding karma chart."

Gallsby's phone buzzes. He claws up his phone some more to look at it, puts it away, then writes down 'no customers' for Villi.

>"Okay, so here's the plan Frillsby. You grind me and we find out that everything gets even worse, and then we go to Villi's and resolve that and everything becomes fine for him! Is that right, does this chart look right to you?"
"Its existence isn't right."
>"Fine geez I'll erase it, but it'll live on in our memories."
No. 806356 ID: bfb318
File 149678438394.png - (207.43KB , 900x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 211.png )

We get to karma related business once I pull the car around to allow for a more hidden position where I can keep an eye on the surroundings.

>"You're actually doing it here Frillsby I thought you were being a joker man!"
"I was caught in the moment. This is probably a terrible idea. We could be found out at any time."
>"Yeah but then we can just say that we're staking out with our stakes out."
"We'll never say that. Partially because we're not going to be found out here."
>"Can we arrest ourselves?"
"Probably. Now stop clawing the top of the hood."
No. 806358 ID: bfb318
File 149678443180.png - (138.19KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 212.png )

Next, we clean up and get to Villi's.

"Oh, hey! Customers! I think. Are you customers or is this police business? I mean it's fine but - can I get you guys coffee or anything?"
"Is it usually this slow, Villi?"
"No! I don't know what it is, but I've had, just, no business at all today."

Gallsby gives me that same stupid look, and I have to admit this is getting weird.
No. 806361 ID: a363ac

Quickly remake the chart of karma and explain that he must do the job of blows that involves sucking.
No. 806362 ID: 4854ef

Remake the chart in a a purchased loaf of bread, thus becoming customers as well.
No. 806363 ID: bb78f2

So how does your blowjob theory work Gallsby, in regards to orgasms. If Gallsby just orgasmed when you did the thing with his butt, its going to be harder for Villi to finish Gallsby unless Gallsby's always good for a quick round two.

Does Gallsby HAVE to orgasm, or does he just have to get a blowjob for a little bit?
No. 806364 ID: 3ce125

Uh guys maybe you should check the news? There could be some sort of natural disaster coming this way, or a big event in town that's drawing people to it.
No. 806369 ID: 3abd97

Now there's gonna be car damage karma.

It's a conspiracy. I don't know how, but it has to be.
No. 806373 ID: 91ee5f

Does Villi still have those handcuffs on his arm? Might want to help him with that.

Also, you can easily disprove what Gallsby said by being customers before getting the blowjob. Because if the blowjob is what's preventing customers, if you go in as customers first, something will have to stop you in order for Villi to continue not having customers! And it doesn't count if Gallsby tries to stop you because that's just him not wanting to be proven wrong.

This is possibility.
No. 806689 ID: bfb318
File 149687677171.png - (153.62KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 213.png )

I see Villi's hands at some point, and see that he managed to get the handcuffs off. Somehow.

"It's definitely not any karma that Gallsby believes in."
>"Blowjob karma!"
"Gallsby! Polite company voice."
>"Oh sorry. Vacuum good time karma. Villi I want to get some bread. I'll draw you the chart for what I'm talking about!"
"I'm not sure I'll be any less confused! But I'd love to sell some bread."
"Okay, I'll - damn, my wallet. Did... no, I just forgot to bring it with me! Gallsby, do you have yours?"
>"Nnnope, the karma made it disappear!"

I check my phone for news. There aren't any natural disasters, or reports about overwhelming karma.

"That's okay, I'll just put a bread on loan, and you can pay me back. It's not usual, but I know you guys will be good for it, and, well, I could really ring something up."
No. 806690 ID: 3ce125

Maybe just ask Villi straight up if he knows where everyone went. Also explain that Gallsby wants to cash in his rain check.
No. 806692 ID: 3abd97

>no wallet
So you've been driving around without a license? You'll have to arrest yourself.
No. 806693 ID: 91ee5f

>"Nnnope, the karma made it disappear!"
You better check his pockets to make sure that he's telling the truth!

>"That's okay, I'll just put a bread on loan, and you can pay me back. It's not usual, but I know you guys will be good for it, and, well, I could really ring something up."
See? Even though it's a bread on loan, it still counts as a purchase. Which means Villi has customers! Thus proving that Gallsby is wrong!
No. 806695 ID: bb78f2

Gallsby nows when I have to call bullshit when the karma can make our wallets disappear. That's straight up direct magic.

If a magic pickpocket couldn't teleport it off our person, neither could karma. Nor would it make me forget my wallet at home.

And it shouldn't affect YOUR surroundings at all, because you GAVE the blowjob. Something ELSE is afoot here.
Unless you're lying about the wallet.
No. 806860 ID: bfb318
File 149695700909.png - (210.78KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 214.png )

"I'm checking your pockets, Gallsby. Where are our wallets?"
>"I dunno! Karma!"
"We're anti-magic!"
>"We're not our wallets! It's like an invisible person putting on clothes."
"But you gave the blowjob! You doing that shouldn't cause a disturbance in our surroundings!"
>"This isn't our issue, this is Villi's! This is all because he got a blowjob and didn't give one back!"
No. 806861 ID: bfb318
File 149695702570.png - (108.68KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 215.png )

"I think it is our issue, considering we don't have wallets! I've been driving around without a license."
>"Are you going to arrest yourself?"
"No, because I can prove to myself that I am a registered driver, at least once I get my wallet back! And even if it was all Villi, how do you explain me forgetting my wallet? That would be all me and all my anti magic."
>"That's a good Frillsby, a good point. You must have remembered it after all, and it disappeared since it didn't have your anti magic powers!"
No. 806863 ID: bfb318
File 149695708604.png - (164.30KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 216.png )

"Villi, do you know where everyone went?"
>"Uh, I've seen people outside, they're just... not coming in here."
"Even if it's a loan, it's still a purchase, right?"
"Y-yeah! Um... you guys think things business is bad because I didn't give Gallsby a, um, vacuum time back?"
"O-oh. I mean I would if it, uh... if you asked. I wouldn't want to inflict bad karma on the town!"
No. 806864 ID: a363ac

YAY! Gallsby you get to be the rare recipiant of a DOUBLE VACUUM FUN TIME since both Frillsby and Villi have bad karma with you!
No. 806865 ID: 3ce125

Gallsby do the obvious thing.
Frillsby can you tell if anyone's made everyone in town invisible somehow? That would explain why the town seems mostly deserted and why your wallets are missing. Invisible pickpocket.
No. 806868 ID: 3abd97

Isn't poor Villi just gonna fall asleep on your dick if he tries to pay you back?

With his power and your anti magic basically the only time you can do anything is right after a good night's sleep.
No. 806872 ID: 262ceb

Karma isn't magic, guys, it's just a natural balancing of the universe. Everything naturally seeks the state of most balance, that's entropy. Karma is only another form of the same! Anti-magic won't work on it any more than it works against other natural phenomena, like gravity, or electromagnetism, or the queue you join always moving slower than the others.
No. 806874 ID: 91ee5f

>"Even if it's a loan, it's still a purchase, right?"
There you go! That officially proves it's not karma that's stopping Villi from getting customers! Because if it was, then something would've stopped you from being customers right now!

Which means something else is going on around here!
No. 806883 ID: 9a2274

Well Frillsby you work together with the goat to right this cosmic imbalance.

You can help demonstrate to Villi how Gallsby likes things.
No. 806888 ID: e6e9af


Do you want jinxes?

Because that's how you get jinxes.
No. 806895 ID: 91ee5f

Anti-magic. Jinxes don't affect us.
No. 806938 ID: 3740b1

To right this karmic wrong he'll have to pay double time. Get Gallsby up on the counter so you can give him vacuum fun time while Frillsby helps you balance the scales by filling your doughnut hole. The customer is always right!
No. 806949 ID: e6e9af


But we could end up jinxing Villi! They're very fickle things, you know.

Or maybe the whole town. At this rate, we could jinx the entire world!
No. 807237 ID: 15a025

Better ask how much he charges for vacuuming services?
No. 807321 ID: d1e4a8

Meanwhile, the true cause of all these oddities is wreaking havoc while you screw around and try to get a blowjob out of this innocent lamb that never asked to receive that blowjob in the first place.

Do not ask that, that's literally implying he's a prostitute. Or a floor cleaning service. Possibly both.
No. 808164 ID: bfb318
File 149757554901.png - (192.27KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 217.png )

"Don't give a blowjob for karma, Villi. That's a bad reason to do that."
>"You don't need a reason at all!" says Gallsby.
"N-no, but... ahhh it's not like I'm getting customers anyway!"
>"Yeah! Don't mind Frillsby, he's just all tense because we're technically on the job."
"There's something going on, and we're messing around testing blowjob karma."
>"Yeah, and if karma is our enemy, then the best thing to do is experiment to understand the enemy."
"That has no business making any sense, but... Villi, your phone is working, right?"
"Yes? Why?"
"I want to be sure that if the town had any real bad havoc messing with it, Gallsby and I would be getting calls."

Gallsby hands the loaf of bread back to Villi, after he recreated the chart in it.

"Wh... what have you done to this bread?"
>"Made it informational bread." Gallsby says.
"We-... are you going to eat it?"
>"Heck yeah."
"Oh okay! Wwelll, uh, after that, um, if you want to go upstairs, then, yes."
>"Aren't you just going to fall asleep on my dick, if you didn't get a good night's sleep?"
"Oh I've been sleeping though!"
>"Wow, mister workaholic would actually sleep! Why?"
No. 808165 ID: bfb318
File 149757557305.png - (276.88KB , 1000x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 218.png )

"Uhhhhh, just in... you know, I never knew when anti-magic would come around and knock me out, so it wouldn't be safe, tooo, uhhh..."

"Just be wandering around."

"In case it struck."
>"In case we touched you?"
>"But we wouldn't touch you if you didn't want us to. We're totally safe!"
No. 808167 ID: bfb318
File 149757560110.png - (220.03KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 219.png )

>"Youuuuu've been waiting for us to come back!"
>"You could've just asked!"
>"I'm all about giving blowjobs while on the job!"
[bleating noises]
>"Wanna go upstairs now?"

Villi nods, before going to flip the sign from open to closed.
No. 808168 ID: bfb318
File 149757564375.png - (134.91KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 220.png )

My phone begins ringing.

"You two go ahead, I'll go up afterwards."

"Dorb Police Department."
>"Hi, this is Ralf from Wright Insurance agency. I'm calling on behalf of Salvage Salvo. They claim they've gotten their whole stock of copper, a solid 10 thousand pounds of it, stolen. They say that they reported it already. That sound right to you?"
No. 808173 ID: 3ce125

Say you cannot verify how much was stolen, but you saw that their storage area was completely empty and had been broken into in a way that matched a separate incident involving missing copper. You're currently investigating and hope to catch the thief soon.
No. 808176 ID: 262ceb

"It was "reported" in the sense that the robbery was discovered in the course of an investigation we were conducting, so we were there when it happened. That essentially counts as a report. The precise amount wasn't specified to us at the time, he probably had to consult his records, but he had claimed that it was one of his larger stocks before the discovery was made so that sounds accurate enough."

Methinks someone is padding his insurance claim but we have no evidence of that and who cares.
No. 808178 ID: 015058

(Possible best cop answer?)

I can not comment on a potential active criminal investigation. You can of course request a full report from our department. Once the case is settled we will send you all the photos and a written transcript of events.

(Answer if you do not have to worry about regulations)

I can confirm that it appears that someone or something may have tunneled into what the salvage yard claims is there copper storage and emptied out the place.

That being said I have no idea how much copper was stored there to begin with. Due to having never seen the room before the alleged burglary. But you can request our photos of the scene and a written report for your insurance claims and we wills send them over later.

After your call go get upstairs so you can get in on the blowjob action.
No. 808182 ID: 3abd97

I can confirm a theft was reported, but I cannot otherwise comment on an ongoing investigation.
No. 808193 ID: 91ee5f

Ask if he has any information on who or what would steal that much copper and what it would be used for.

Suddenly realize that you and Gallsby are also "coppers" and may get stolen! Which would be good cause you'd find out who did it and why, but it would also be bad cause you can't stop them if you've been stolen!
No. 808279 ID: d1e4a8

That pun was awful. I love it.

Tell them the investigation is ongoing and that all you can confirm is that there is a large hole in an empty room where copper was allegedly stored. Who knows, maybe this was all an elaborate plan to get insurance money?
No. 808608 ID: bfb318
File 149773396284.png - (141.69KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 221.png )

Regulations are lax. They're as lax as they get without just being an anarchy.

"This involves a criminal investigation that is still ongoing. The copper theft was reported, but I can't confirm an exact number or even an estimate about how much copper was taken."
>"Okay no problem no problem, in that case we'll just send an inquiry, and you can get back to us when you've solved the case. How's that?"
"That sounds like a plan."

We close out the conversation, and I start going upstairs to join in on the action

>Who knows, maybe this was all an elaborate plan to get insurance money?
This would be somewhat more mundane, but not something to rule out.

This conversation about stolen copper made me think of a terrible idea, though. An idea involving using Gallsby, myself, or both, as bait, to lure out the 'copper thief'.

It's an idea on par with blowjob karma, in that it is absolutely ridiculous. But it is an idea.
No. 808612 ID: 015058

The copper bait plan is genius and you should try it.

That being said you need to hurry up and get to making out with that goat while you both pay off your karmic debt to Gallsby.
No. 808618 ID: fe7355

On a much more sensible line of thought, you should ask Villi who his most regular of regular customers are who didn't come in, then contact them to find out why they didn't come in today. There might be event going on in town that you and Gallsby didn't hear about that they're all at.
No. 808620 ID: 56ffef

Copper bait is good,
Go take a picture of Gallsby and Villi real quick to give to Villi.
No. 808643 ID: e6e9af


Okay, since there's clearly no copper anywhere, you'll have to paint one of your in COPPER PAINT to pretend to be a statue. How about your lizardy-friend girl, so you don't have to worry about fuzz and paint and stuff? Get her to pose nude on a big pedestal somewhere.
No. 808654 ID: 91ee5f

Using the coppers as bait to catch the copper thief? That plan is crazy! So crazy, it might actually work!
No. 808738 ID: 15a025

How would you set up yourselves as bait?
No. 809800 ID: bfb318
File 149817899811.png - (156.76KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 222.png )

Copper bait does sound ridiculous enough to work. Which is a ridiculous line of thought, but that might just mean it's twice as effective?

I'd have to think about how to set Gallsby and myself up as bait. We could reveal ourselves, maybe, during some kind of public event. Like some kind of statue unveiling.

We could just paint someone in copper colored paint, but then I don't know if we'd be the bait, or the 'statue'. We'd have to have someone who is willing to take a risk like that. Someone like Khivaat, which also would work, since she's a lot easier to paint, since she doesn't have fur.

>"Frillsby why're you looking like you're trying to do complex arithmetic in your head?"
"I'm pondering about crime."
>"You should be pondering about how Villi's a natural suck!"
"You're making him blush. Also, blowjob or not, I - we're still on the job."
No. 809801 ID: bfb318
File 149817900643.png - (179.35KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 223.png )

"Why are we doing this again?"
>"Because it's fun?"
"Yes but why else?"
"Oh, yeah."
>"Did you actually forget? It's like you're not taking karma seriously!"
No. 809802 ID: bfb318
File 149817901810.png - (108.11KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 224.png )

It sounds like someone's knocking on the glass downstairs.

No. 809803 ID: bfb318
File 149817905208.png - (137.11KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 225.png )


Villi starts running down the stairs so enthusiastically that it almost sounds like he's falling down them.

"We're open I'm coming!"

"Gallsby don't you give me that face."
>"You're not even looking at me! What face am I making?"
"The one you're making right now."
>"I could be totally straight faced right now!"
"You could be a liar."
>"I beeeet that you'd get good karma by saying it exiiiists!"
No. 809804 ID: f08985

That's not even any kind of act, that wouldn't do anything even if it existed.
No. 809805 ID: 015058

Wait a minute. Vili blew you and not Gallsby so he still owes blowjob karma to Gallsby and now you owe him one!

And you never gave Gallsby a blowjob so you still owe him one!

If anything you only managed to pay back the butt pounding he gave you earlier!

If this is how you keep the scales of karma balanced you two are never going to catch any criminals.
No. 809806 ID: 3abd97

It's a well known fact that a watched pot never boils. Villi got a customer the minute he left his post alone because that's how it always works! No karma required.
No. 809810 ID: 91ee5f

This means that it can't be karma! Because if it was, then there'd be a bigger.....punishment.....

Oh shit! That might not be a customer down there! Villi might be in danger! Uh, I mean, he would be, if it was karma.

.....just to be safe, let's go down stairs and check on him while you're getting your bread and heading to your car to go back on patrol.
No. 809816 ID: 3ce125

Sounds like magic to me. Some wizard is messing with the town.
No. 809822 ID: 3ce125

Oh, if Karma is real, due to a wizard or not, you can go out and do some good deeds to probably get a better lead on your case.

Painting Khivat copper sounds like a great idea regardless though.
No. 809856 ID: bb78f2

Gallsby, you DO realize with the existence of Karma, we have a responsibility to have less spontaneous intercourse now with people where one party may not be able to reciprocate, right?

It also means you can't just give Villi a blowjob whenever now. Or me. Or me you. We'd have to do it all at once and complete it, even in circumstance where time doesn't allow.
No. 810009 ID: bfb318
File 149828088507.png - (137.78KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 226.png )

"If there was karma, it's even more out of balance. The acts we did in this room didn't solve anything, fictional or otherwise, as far as our situation goes."
>"It solved our state of 'not getting blowjobs for everyone!'"
"Yes that is correct."
>"Fine I'll make a new chart! You did give me a blowjob though before Villi went on you so that settles that, and... well mayyybe things are a little bit worse... in which case... in which case Villi's not going down to a customer at all! He's in danger!"
"You sound very concerned, Gallsby."

He sounds not concerned at all.

"You make your chart or whatever, I'll go downstairs and check in on him."
No. 810010 ID: bfb318
File 149828089664.png - (144.95KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 227.png )

I briefly wash up and go downstairs, where Villi is calmly confirming an order for a dozen bagels, and some kind of creamed coffee.
No. 810011 ID: bfb318
File 149828093778.png - (185.45KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 228.png )

Although I have not seen this person around town, before.

>"Yeah that's all right. And hey uh this is kind of a weird question!" the customer says. "But there hasn't been anything... strange going on in this town, has there?"
"Er- er... that is... nope, I mean, nothing too out of the ordinary!" Villi says, apparently so nervous that he'll flat out lie. "Nothing to concern yourself with I mean!"
>"That's a relief! Real good. I like calm towns."
No. 810015 ID: 3ce125

Go say hello. Ask him what he meant by strange things.
No. 810017 ID: bb78f2

Wait why did Villi blow you? Most of his connection was with Gallsby. You're practically a stranger to Villi by comparison with no real special moment together and he gave you a blowjob like nothing.

That was a super casual blowjob then.
Why DID he blow you again and not Gallsby? Did he get confused about who is who and didn't pay attention to the OP image?
No. 810019 ID: 015058

I guess the vicious cycle of blowjob karma might be strange to those who are not in the know.

Say hi to the new guy. Maybe some casual conversation might reveal why he is asking questions about strange going's on.
No. 810174 ID: 15a025

Ask what brings him into town?
No. 810247 ID: a363ac

"ah man frillsby doesn't it suck being made of PURE 100% COPPER?!"
No. 810252 ID: e6e9af


There it is.

It's here, ordering bagels and some kind of creamed coffee.

No wonder shit has been so weird lately!
No. 810274 ID: bfb318
File 149841650089.png - (122.66KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 229.png )

>Wait why did Villi blow you?
I came up after he blew Gallsby, and I guess he was on a roll and just wanted to keep going.

"Hello." I say to this new face.
>"... hi, random bakery employee."
"Oh, uh, no..." Villi starts saying. "He's not an employee! He's a friend. Who's behind the counter."
>"Oh okay, well hello."
"What brings you to town?"
>"Just, you know... travelling. Seeing what's up. I mean, I'm not a drifter. Not... exactly?"

>"Hey, Frillsby!" Gallsby shouts from upstairs. "It sure sucks to be made out of 100% copper, doesn't it?!"
"No not really."
>"Oh!" says the new guy. "You're the town officer? That's cool. Nothing weird's been going on right? Right? I'm Darrin by the way."

I suddenly get the impression that all of this karma related nonsense has a name and a face, who orders bagels and some kind of cream coffee.

"I'm Frillsby. Why do you want to know if there's strange going ons?"
>"I'm, uh... I'mmmmmm writing a book. I like to write about small towns? Yeah."
No. 810276 ID: 015058

Nope nothing strange going on lately. Just a normal slow week here.

Hey if you are writing a book why don't me and my partner take out out on a tour of town? We can show you all the interesting spots so you can get some good inspiration.
No. 810278 ID: 91ee5f

"Other than the fact that you, me, and my partner upstairs are the only 3 customers Villi has had all day, no, nothing strange has happened. And me and my partner would know about it if it did happen, since we're cops and people usually report things to us."

This. It should be easy for us, since we're on patrol.

And if he tries to refuse, let's insist that it wouldn't be a problem at all! Especially, since nothing really happens around here, Frillsby and Gallsby need something to do to kill the boredom of not having anything happen around here!
No. 810298 ID: 3ce125

Tell him there's just been some odd coincidences lately, and ask if he has any control over his magic.
No. 810305 ID: 3abd97

Oh, you're an author? Written anything else I might have heard of? Where else have you been researching your current book?

The best part of dumb obvious lies is forcing people to keep digging themselves in deeper with follow up questions.
No. 810345 ID: bfb318
File 149843202226.png - (148.95KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 230.png )

"Villi here usually gets a good amount of customers, but you, me, and my partner upstairs have been his only ones. There have been a few other odd coincidences, too, but otherwise nothing at all."
"Are you able to control your magic, by the way?"
>"I, I cannnnn't which is whyyy I never try to use my magic! That's no problem right? I don't want any trouble with the law!"
"It's not a problem if your magic doesn't adversely affect anything. So you're an author? Have you written anything I might have heard of? What others towns have you been in for research?"
>"Ah, heh, well..." he lists off some names of towns. I don't recognize them, but they don't sound frantically made up either. "And uh no I'm too small time of an author! You wouldn't recognize any of my books."
>"FRILLSBY WHO'S THAT." I hear Gallsby shouting again.
"He says he's Darrin!"
>"Is he cute?!"
"Not really relevant to anything right now, Gallsby!"
>"So uh... anyway, uh... if nothing's going on right now then I may stick around but otherwise I'd just like to know what weird happenings are going on then I'll be on my way!"
"I could take you around town to see the local tourist attractions, if you want writing material."
>"Oh uh... I don't think that'll be necessary!"
"Bagels are ready!" says Villi. "I'm sorry, the coffee machine is giving me trouble, just a second!"
>"Oh god it's already happennnnyI mean, that's no problem take your time! Sorry officer but I really need that cream coffee!"
No. 810346 ID: 3ce125

Tell him you've got the feeling his magic affects probability in a sort of karmic way, and if he can tell you how it works it might actually help you solve a case.
No. 810347 ID: a363ac

sounds like its going to be a bit so why don't you tell me about your magic since you don't seem to be able to control it I might need to know what it can do?
No. 810350 ID: 3f3e63

"Sir if you know of anything that could potentially cause a disturbance it is my duty to find out and to assist."
No. 810356 ID: 91ee5f

"Don't worry about it. If it's your magic, then all you have to do is let either me or my partner touch you. We're both anti-magic, so we'll cancel out whatever magic that you seem to be using uncontrollably."

And if it turns out that he really is the cause of everything that's happening, then you get to tell Gallsby that he was wrong about the karma!
No. 810357 ID: 3abd97

...what, your magic makes coffee makers stop working?

Poke him with antimagic and see if the coffee makers suddenly starts working as a result.
No. 810369 ID: fe7355

Well, that last sentence almost clinched it that this guy is the source of the strangeness. And how much he needs that coffee kinda points towards him having a magic situation like Villi with donuts and bagels. The coffee suppresses the weirdness aura.

Ask him which highway he came in on. Fair bet it's the one with the missing copper cables and chunks taken out.

...And are his eyes copper colored, by chance? I can't rightly tell, but if so that's suspicious as well.
No. 810469 ID: e6e9af


>I really need that cream coffee

Sounds like we need Villi and Gallsby's help to make sure we've got enough cream for his coffee, if you know what I'm sayin'.

(wait a sec, he's acting awful suspicious ...)

Frillsby, quick! A final test of this "blowjob karma" junk: invite him upstairs for some good clean fun with some good good boys and if shit happens after he reciprocates, not only is it not real, we'll know that this Darrin guy's the fault of it!

(and then maybe use him to foil the real culprit once we figure out what they're doing ...)
No. 810479 ID: bfb318
File 149848970580.png - (288.24KB , 900x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 231.png )

"While we wait, why don't you tell me about your magic?"
>"Oh. Wellllllll..."
"Is it karma."
>"I mean it's complicated there's a lot of variables involved and I guess maybe you could sort of say it was a biiiit like-"
"It's karma."
>"I thought it would be fine! You're anti-magic! This was gonna be the town where it was finally fine... Maybe it is fine maybe it's just a coincidence?"
"Gallsby! Karma is real but before you get your big doofy grin on it's magic so it never affected us."
>"But the chart!"
"Fine you can finish the chart anyway."
"Why would Villi even get affected still? He gave back the blowj..."
>"You trailed off there officer, he gave back the.. blow?"
"Nnnothing, forget that, police business, unimportant to civilians. I'm going to hold on to your arm to void out your magic to test this."
>"Oh um sure grab all you want officer."

"Oh! It's working now!"
No. 810480 ID: bfb318
File 149848972089.png - (240.86KB , 900x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 232.png )

"Well then."
>"Aww geez."
No. 810481 ID: bfb318
File 149848974018.png - (285.25KB , 900x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 233.png )

"Let me just grab the creamer and- ah! noooooooo"
Villi accidentally knocked over a bagel, and when he panicked trying to grab it before it hit the floor he stumbled and became a whirlwind of spilled cream and cream accessories.

>"Awwww geeeeeeeez..."
No. 810499 ID: 7b6983

That's it, I have the solution. Give him a blowjob to absorb and nullify his karma magic. Alternatively, handcuff yourself to him.

Or wait, if you remove organic matter from yourself, does that matter still have anti-magical properties? Maybe you can give him a part of yourself that you don't need. Like a hair. Or semen. It seems like this all loops back around to blowjobs, one way or another.
No. 810501 ID: 930e23

Poor guy. Ask him how he normally deals with this.
No. 810505 ID: 015058

So let me guess you make karma real in a area around you?

(not sure this explains the copper stuff. Unless the copper got stole by the scrapyard and the karma then stole it back. Which makes even less sense because who steals a tiny chunk of power lines? Was a lot of work to dig up that road.)

We should follow Gallsby's chart to the letter so that we can equalize the blowjobs quick.

Then discuss things with this guy and if creamed coffee helps his condition or something.
No. 810514 ID: e6e9af


He was sure enjoying having his arm held, at least.

Maybe we can close up shop early and have Villi help lick all that cream off of you two to make up for it? Poor guy...
No. 810522 ID: 91ee5f

Well, on the bright side, you were right and you get to rub it in Gallsby's face!
No. 810580 ID: 32d29a

Showers for everyone?
No. 810591 ID: 3ce125

Ask Villi if he's done anything bad lately to deserve- wait a minute bad things aren't happening to Villi, bad things are happening to you and Darrin. Darrin told some fibs and you've been rude to Gallsby. Actually Villi hasn't been entirely honest either so I guess you should all apologize to eachother.

As for Darrin, is there anything you can imbue your antimagic with? Something he can wear all the time to hold back his karma power? Or at least, until it's needed to catch a criminal? Because criminals have abysmal karma let me tell you. Right now the copper thief must be stubbing his toe on every single rock. Maybe we should check the hospital.
No. 810627 ID: a363ac

congratulations you just found yourself two new roommates and are going to play smash when we get home.
No. 810984 ID: bfb318
File 149868777895.png - (132.41KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 234.png )

Our antimagic effects only work fully if we're touching it with our bodies. Living tissue like... blood also has a limited effect so long as it's alive.

Villi comes running up to us with paper towels.

"Ohhhhh I'm so sorry! You can use my shower upstairs if you really want to! The coffee and bagel will be free! Also you can have something too Frillsby!"
>"Noo, no, it's fine." Darrin says. "I mean, it sucks, and I might take that shower, but I basically had this coming."
"How do you normally deal with this?"
>"By living out in the mountains. By myself."
"Does creamed coffee help your condition?"
>"Uh not really but I had unsweetened tea and muffins before I came here so now I need creamed coffee and bagels to counter it. Also it's not exactly karma."
"It's sounding more and more like karma to me." I'll just have to pay more mind to Gallsby's chart, at least the parts that don't involve just us two.
>"It's not a very benevolent sort of karma! It doesn't really reward good behavior or harm bad behavior, it just kind of... likes balance in things. Reciprocated actions and counteractions where applicable, especially where two people are involved! It also helps if people believe in karma which it's kind of hard not to when I go around making it exist. Look there's a lot of variables and not even I fully understand it a lot of the time so it isn't just something as vague and simple as karma! Maybe I can help. You said there were weird coincidences? Can you think of any actions that you took, or didn't take, that someone else gave? Like, someone said hello to you, but you didn't say hi back? Someone gave you a wave, but you just said hi instead of waving? And you, Villi?"
No. 810995 ID: 486e87

Join Villi's chorus of uhhhhhh.
No. 810996 ID: 144af2

Dear god. Do not attempt to stop his magic with your anti-magic for too long, because I just realized. If it's about opposite actions, then if you anti-magic him, the magic will come back equivalent to the amount of magic you, uh, anti-ed. Which means basically the biggest, most extreme karma bomb in the universe would occur as soon as you let go.
No. 811001 ID: 7fad5d

Sounds good to me, keep antimagicking him for a few hours in the butt. Switch roles with Gallsby every so often to stop you from getting worn out too soon.
No. 811017 ID: 3abd97

>Living tissue like... blood also has a limited effect so long as it's alive.
What about other bodily fluids. Cause I think I can think of a way to keep this guy topped off with antimagic.

>Can you think of any actions that you took, or didn't take, that someone else gave?
Well someone's been going around town stealing literal tons of copper and not giving it back.
No. 811025 ID: 7b6983

Maybe it's not karma, but something more simple, like causing bad luck. We haven't really seen anything good happen from his ability, only bad things. Are we sure balancing things out actually has an effect?

Because if it is balance-based, this person has a point.

Either way, it's time you two took a side-job: Scientists. We need to gather more data about his quirk in a controlled environment.
No. 811104 ID: 9d0887

"Well you know the kind of hello that involves two consenting adults? There has been some hellos of this kind, and we're working on balancing them out."
No. 811373 ID: 144af2

No. 811757 ID: 15a025

Better have Gallsby start extending that karma chart.
No. 815104 ID: bfb318
File 149986943090.png - (128.25KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 235.png )

>Don't anti him too much, otherwise the magic will come back equivalent to the amount of magic you anti-ed
Usually it doesn't work like this, but since it's balance based, this might be true. I'm sure Gallsby would love to antimagic the heck out of this guy, but we have to think carefully about this.

>What about bodily fluids other than blood?
The same.

"Uhhhh well someone's been going around stealing literal tons of copper and not giving it back. Does that count?"
>"Is that copper important to anyone?"
>"Then that thief probably has a bad time coming to him. Or not. I dunno. But probably."
"Does balancing things out make good things happen?"
>"Not having bad things happen is a good thing, right?"
"No, it's just not bad."
>"So it's good."
"It's neutral."
>"Good neutral."
"Just neutral. Do we need to focus on this pedantry?"
>"We do, otherwise the karma will hit!"
"Oh... god."
>"Now you understand my pain and the pain it brings others!"
"And we've got to solve it. You know the kind of hello that involves two consenting adults? There have been 'hellos' of that kind, and we're trying to balance them out."
>"I'm not following. Hey what's on that bread?"
"My partner made a karma chart."
>"Here, let me se - "
No. 815105 ID: bfb318
File 149986944887.png - (139.43KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 236.png )

Villi slams that bread right into his own mouth. The entire loaf. I'm honestly impressed.

>"Maybe it wasn't any of my business, but I can help you guys. Karma c - I mean, charts for this magic are great. Usually they're written on things like paper, not bread, but the fact that your partner made one at all shows a lot of initiative and intelligence to hone in on something like this, before you even knew I existed."
>"No one uses paper in the year of our lord!" Gallsby shouts down.

Darrin looks like he wants to eat his words next.

>"Look, you guys should make a good chart. I can help. I can keep a secret too since it's obvious there's private stuff on that bread."
"Thanks, but even though we're in a bakery, we are on the job."
>"You wanted to see if good things happen? They can! If your copper thief is making imbalance, and you're perfectly balanced, then he'll practically arrest himself. Your investigations, plans, and whatevers will go well, because even if you guys are anti magic, they'll still affect the people who aren't! Or, uh... I could just leave town again and let you guys go about your lives in unpunished imbalance. That'd be fair and mayyyyy be for the best."
No. 815106 ID: 7fad5d

We could just ask him what happens if he's hit with antimagic. Personally, I'm hoping that it can't register the period of antimagic and account for it in the balance, otherwise it wouldn't be much of an antimagic. Honestly, this is what we really need to know before we make a decision, since if his power is still too unstable even with antimagic it's not really justifiable to let him stay.

Also did Villi just steal bread from himself?
No. 815134 ID: 015058

Tell him you are not going to run him out of town and if he wants to stay you are willing to try and help him find a solution.

That and it will be more fun to solve the case while trying to balance karma silliness.
No. 815189 ID: d0a30e

Maybe you can work something out so that he can stay, and he makes a good point about copper thievery being countered. Try and figure out more of the variables, specifically in regards to how 'bad' these things can get, and if he has any idea for how antimagic might be able to be tested. Is it retroactive? Does it stop counting while the antimagic is applied?
No. 815203 ID: 91ee5f

>"No one uses paper in the year of our lord!" Gallsby shouts down.
"Gallsby, you better be putting that chart on paper and not on Villi's walls or bed or anything like that! Also, there's someone here that wants to look at your chart, so bring it down here!"
No. 815320 ID: 3abd97

>Villi slams that bread right into his own mouth. The entire loaf. I'm honestly impressed.
He's an expert at deep throating loaves!

Look, we're just going to do our jobs and what happens will happen.

We're not going to tell you to get out of town, because you're not doing anything to anyone, and if the universe decides to alter the rules around you, that's not technically a crime. Or good. Or bad. And we can't police that.
No. 815324 ID: 3ce125

New quest: even things out.

Also while he's in town Gallsby must be warned not to accept any handjobs. He can't reciprocate.
No. 815359 ID: bec17e

But he must also even out not getting handjobs with getting handjobs. Probably. I'd say try anti magic cuffs.
No. 815610 ID: bfb318
File 150000311618.png - (118.34KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 237.png )

"No, not for the best. Unless we have no other option, we're not about chasing people out of town."
>"We're about chasing people in town!" Gallsby adds.
"Gallsby get down here and start making a fancy chart where I can see you writing it on paper like a well adjusted citizen!"
>"But I'm a cop!"
"And cops lead by example. Plus, Darrin wants to see it."
>"Oh man someone who actually appreciates my efforts?! I'm comin'!"
"Darrin, I've got questions about the details of your magic. Several, probably."
>"Uh, yeah! It's easiest to go over it with the chart, since by showing you what I know, I can teach you all about it. Really, thank you, living out in the wilds just isn't for me, but neither is being a problem so just give me the boot if it's too much trouble!"

Oh, damn, I thought of handcuffing him to me, but I completely forgot that those counted as anti-magic even on their own! So...

I thought of banging Darrin before lone handcuffs.

I blame this on Gallsby and his terrible influence.

"Darrin, do you know how your karma works with antimagic?"
>"I have no idea! It might explode when the antimagic is over, or it might be a permanent fix. Do you want to give it a shot? I'd like to, if you don't blame me for what happens."
No. 815613 ID: 015058

How about we come up with a clever plan to find our copper thief using karma before we try to turn off his powers.

And then after that we can work on testing if a antimagic bracelet would help you.

So lets get to chart making and thinking on how it would affect our missing copper. (Maybe the missing copper is his karma in action already?)
No. 815626 ID: 3ce125

How about you balance out your karma chart BEFORE trying the antimagic?
No. 815632 ID: 3abd97

Let's see how the chart looks before we try messing with him and antimagic.

But no, if we try something and it blows up, that's clearly our fault, not his. He won't be blamed either way.
No. 815661 ID: c31aac

....make gallsby do it
No. 816628 ID: bfb318
File 150034934999.png - (148.30KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 238.png )

"Later. Let's balance out this chart, first. And since Gallsby and I are still on the job, we intend on catching this copper criminal first before we go chancing major karma explosions. And no, you won't be blamed for it."

If I summon handcuffs, but Gallsby puts the cuffs on him, I wonder what the karma would think about that? Questions for later.

Gallsby comes down, and I tape a pen onto his claw so that he can use paper. He shows it to Darrin.

>"I can barely read this." says Darrin. "It looks like blowjobs and butt poundings everywhere."
>"That's what it is!" Gallsby replies.
>"Oh, then nevermind, I can read it just fine. Good job. Okay, run me through everything."
>"Every little detail." Darrin says, pulling out a dismayingly large sheet of paper.
>"Okay!" Gallsby responds with delighted enthusiasm.
No. 816631 ID: bfb318
File 150034938371.png - (172.23KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 239.png )

Gallsby's enthusiasm and delight has never been tested this hard before. Not even he has ever considered temperature changes between the beginning and end of each session, or the balance of what kind of noises everyone made, and he sure never wanted to take any tests on that kind of stuff.

By the time it's over, Darrin's created something I can't in good conscience call a chart. If Gallsby's creation was a chart, then this is a single page encyclopedia.

>"This might take awhile." Darrin explains. "It's going to require efficient butt pounding and precision blowjobs. Even then, I can't guarantee perfection in the end even if you do everything I tell you to. Are you all up for it?"
>"Yeah!" Gallsby shouts, all enthusiasm revived.
No. 816632 ID: 56ffef

(=======3 Dicks out for blowjobs
No. 816640 ID: 3ce125

Sure. Time for some precision sex acts.
No. 816650 ID: 3abd97

>It's going to require efficient butt pounding and precision blowjobs
The details of this plan better not be "whore Frillsby out to everyone in town".
No. 816668 ID: 91ee5f

Ask him to just.....break it down into simple terms so that you can understand who needs what done to them and who needs to be doing these things.
No. 816693 ID: 3740b1


Ok yeah. Let's balance the cock karma accounts.
No. 816734 ID: 015058

You know what this could be fun. Let him guide this mess.
No. 816739 ID: bb78f2

... how many times do you have to cum? do you have the stamina for it?
No. 816740 ID: 486e87

You seem surprisingly chill about this, have you had to deal with worse regarding your karma magic?
No. 817645 ID: 15a025

Would doing it at the same time of day/night help out with the karma balance?
No. 817687 ID: 67a33d

The details better be exactly that you mean.
No. 817772 ID: bfb318
File 150082442371.png - (108.99KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 240.png )

"You seem like a chill guy about all of this, Darrin. Have you dealt with worse?"
>"Yes. Blowjobs are normal."
>"Everyone's had them!" says Gallsby.
>"Well, er, I don't know about that."
>"I'm very experienced with them and I say everyone's had them."

Darrin's jaw drops a centimeter in preparation to lob words back at Gallsby, then he starting to learn and practice the fine rude art of ignoring Gallsby.

"Alright. Let's do it." I say. "Lead the way, if you're comfortable doing this."
>"It's not normal, but there's not going to be any half assing this from me."
>"Full assing." says Gallsby.
No. 817774 ID: bfb318
File 150082447038.png - (194.50KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 241.png )

Villi closes the shop again, and we go back upstairs.

>"Okay. Gallsby." says Darrin. "Take off Villi's pants. Just a bit."
>"I'm on it!"
>"Slower. Slower. Okay not that slow. Frillsby, get your butt in position, somewhere that isn't the ground. Wait there for a bit, please. Gallsby, stay still for a moment. Villi, you have to remain silent for the first three minutes, but then make noise. Don't force the noise. Gallsby, start, but do it slowly to start. Painfully slowly for this one."
>"I don't know if I can just make noise without forcing it now!"
>"You're going to have to try."
>"Wait a minute, Frillsby!" says Gallsby. "What if this is just a ruse to shoot a porno? This feels like it's a porno with a micromanaging director!"
"You're the one who went on and on about karma, Gallsby!"
>"Dang, I guess I have to own up to my own karma. By giving Villi a blowjob. Wait, again?"
>"Just trust me." says Darrin.
"That is a point, though, this feels like you're some kind of porn director."
>"A director of blowjobs." adds Gallsby.
No. 817775 ID: bfb318
File 150082448440.png - (196.35KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 242.png )

>"I'm not that concerned about the visual parts of this like a director!" says Darrin. "I'm more like a coordinator. Or maybe a conductor."

Gallsby says something unintelligible.

"Don't be rude and talk with your mouth full." I tell him.
>"It won't hurt at least." says Darrin. "Villi, you've got to be more stoic!"
"But... this!"
>"'This' has to be different. Stand still, like you're waiting for someone to meet up with you and they're running late."
"I don't think I can do that!"
>"Well you can do your best, so do that."
"O-okay then!"
>"Wait, were you doing your best when you got the blowjob the first time?"
"Uh, er, yeah, I was!"
>"Okay you have to try to be stoic while not trying hard at all."
".... I...."
>"I think you guys are starting to see what I always have to deal with."

Villi tries to put on a more serious face, but he looked more serious when he was relaxing into the blowjob.
No. 817776 ID: bfb318
File 150082451357.png - (88.00KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 243.png )

"You're looking a little less chill, Darrin. Are you really alright with this?"
>"Oh I'm fine. But I forgot a kind of important part of the equation. Looking at all this going on, well, that variable in the equation I forgot about is me. I might need to get involved and I didn't really think about how I'm going to fit into any and all of this. Er, if at all, you know."
No. 817780 ID: 90f3c0

Darrin is going to need some karmic balancing for his work on the chart. Unfortunately, the whole anti magic thing would just cancel everything out. Villi is going to have to blow him.
No. 817794 ID: 3abd97

If this is a pretend porno and he's the pretend director, that means, karmicly, he's supposed to get paid. But under the table. With a blowjob.
No. 817800 ID: 3740b1

Well some one better ride that Frillsby butt, right?
No. 817887 ID: cb1b91

Waggle your butt at him and lift you tail in reply.
No. 817911 ID: 3ce125

If he gets hit by antimagic while the karma adjustment is going on, will the adjustment even count?
No. 817992 ID: 1a9fe2

If he's gonna get involved, I think you guys are gonna have to set up a camera to make sure you're doing everything correctly! You're already doing everything you can to make sure it goes right, after all
No. 819271 ID: bfb318
File 150134473177.png - (132.49KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 244.png )

"If you need to get involved, then get involved."
>"IIII dunno, is that really okay?"
"It's a sacrifice my butt is just going to have to make. For the sake of the town. Also if you're the porn director, you should get paid, and I might not have cash on hand."
>"I said more like the coordinator! Anyway hey there's alw..."

He finally notices that I've been swinging my behind at him.

>"Ohhh. Sarcasm."
"Yes. Then again, you'll be entering an antimagical field. What we do might not be seen."
>"Oh, no, it works sorta-retroactively. 'Cause when I come into town, karmic events immediately start, and in ways that only make sense if it checks everyone's last several hours or so, instead of everyone starting with a blank slate when I get into range. The real danger is if there's going to be a small karmic explosion, but if we want to test it, this is a good way without making it anything extreme."
"That's just an experiment my butt is going to have to sacrifice for. Say, should we set up a camera?"
>"N-nahhh, let's not."
No. 819272 ID: bfb318
File 150134474451.png - (193.10KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 245.png )

Geez, Darrin starts going at it pretty hard. Come to think of it, it's probably be a long time since he's had any. I look at his face and lose the heart to tell him to maybe chill out just a little bit, since it's not like it's way too much.

>"Also, I'm still insisting it's not karma!" he talks like an engine that can barely start up.
"Yeah yeah!"
>"I think this might be it! It's not perfect, but I think...!"

He trails off, and I don't reply. I don't typically feel my anti-magic doing its thing, but I guess I'll find out.
No. 819273 ID: bfb318
File 150134475711.png - (156.68KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 246.png )

He comes, Villi comes, it's all a satisfactory climax, but as soon as we do, Darrin immediately starts to pull out before I can prepare for any kind of karmic explosion.

No. 819274 ID: bfb318
File 150134477822.png - (169.01KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 247.png )

I don't finish the word before he gets out of my anti magical touch. It's just as well, I have no idea what I'd do to prepare. I get a text message from my dad almost immediately.

>"Hey. Found your giant collection of magic cards. Want 'em?"

There's a commotion outside, too, and I hear someone yell.

>"Yo Villi gimme some bagel!"
"Okay okay give me a minute I'll be right down! Sorry!"
No. 819276 ID: 3abd97

>The real danger is if there's going to be a small karmic explosion
A karmic explosion in Frillsby's butt.

>>"Hey. Found your giant collection of magic cards. Want 'em?"
Hmmm. On the one hand, found card games is probably good karma. But your dad texting you when your pants are down seems like bad karma.

Either way, yes, you want them.
No. 819281 ID: 2d1231


Fixing karma through buttsex? All in a day's work.
No. 819284 ID: 91ee5f

>"Hey. Found your giant collection of magic cards. Want 'em?"
Are they for a children's card game or are they real magic cards that you use for your job?

And if they're for your job, are they a magic that your anti-magic will let you use, like the handcuffs you can summon?

>"Okay okay give me a minute I'll be right down! Sorry!"
Make sure he puts his pants on before he goes down stairs!
No. 819305 ID: 015058

Show the text to Darren and ask how you should respond.

(Personally I would thank your dad and say you would love to have those back. Maybe you can pick them up when you visit him next)

Also ask if Darren needs any post sex cuddling. Don't want to mess up the karma cycle by being a inattentive lover.
No. 819390 ID: 15a025

>Magic cards
Real magic cards, or are they for the card game? Regardless text your dad back a thanks and make arrangements to pick them up sometime.


Maybe with the big boom of good karma here, you might be able to find the cooper thieves!
No. 819398 ID: 4d4619

>as soon as we do

You too? Better clean up. This is a food preparation establishment, you know.
No. 819419 ID: 56ffef

No Yams says magic Sucks
No. 819557 ID: bfb318
File 150145034626.png - (126.69KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 248.png )

I text my dad back.

"You mean my collection of Magic: The Gathering cards, right? Not actual magic cards?"
>"The children's card game, yes."
"It's a man's game!"
>"That retort brings me back, alright."
"Yes I would like them, thank you."

>Yams says magic Sucks
Yams is my friend and would never say such a thing!

Villi gets priority on cleaning up, then the rest of us do.

"You look deep in thought, Darrin. Was there too much of a lack of post-coitus cuddling or something?"
>"No no no. Uh, I'm just reflecting. On my life events. The kind of life events that led me to here... wow that sounded bad!"
"Yeah maybe."
>"No it was good."
>"Frillsby's butt is pretty good." says Gallsby.
>"Yeah... yeah it was."
>"One of the best."
>"Maybe. I've had some butts. Frillsby's was defi-"
"It is time to stop talking about my butt. Darrin, you can live in town."
>"Thanks! I'll look for a place kind of on the outskirts if possible, and give a warning when I'm coming into town. I don't mind! I know it's inconvenient! Though maybe it worked out well this time..."
"Don't worry about it."

The karma release wasn't so strong that the copper thief called me up and confessed, so the plan to paint Khivat copper to make her bait is still on. Darrin looks like he's getting ready to leave, so if I wanted to request or say anything to him, now's the time.
No. 819561 ID: 8d23d9

Any general advice on avoiding large imbalances, I guess?
No. 819562 ID: 2affb5

But was it strong enough to bring them to your doorstep? Investigate the bagel man!
No. 819588 ID: 3abd97

Plans that involve nudity and metallic body paint are good plans.
No. 819589 ID: 015058

Give him your contact info in case he needs anything. Maybe he can join the weekly magic games once he moves in.
No. 819873 ID: bfb318
File 150159320869.png - (182.49KB , 900x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 249.png )

"Wait, Darrin. Do you have any advice on avoiding large imbalances?"
>"Uh... I have a set of notes I keep around. Maybe it'd be better if I sent a copy? Yeah I'll send a copy."
"Thanks. Let's trade phone numbers."

After we split, I go down to investigate the bagel man, out of the thought that perhaps the karma was strong enough to deliver the copper thief to me. It's just Rex, or at least Rex is what he calls himself. He's been put on file for loitering, disturbing the peace, staying on the grass, and so on. He's a troublemaker, but he's never done anything like wide scale theft.

>"S-so how many bagels would you like?" Villi asks.
>"All of em. Then put more in the oven, and give me those too."
>"What about when other people ask for them?"
>"Then you do like any other business owner would, and say you're sold out!"
>"O-oh, right."
No. 819874 ID: bfb318
File 150159323620.png - (85.46KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 250.png )

I call Khivat and explain the situation.

"So you want me to be copper bait, huh, in both senses of the term? By acting like a statue... where?"
"Probably the town plaza, where you're on display."
"Yeah sure why not. When? Tonight?"
No. 819893 ID: 3ce125

Would that be alright?
No. 819927 ID: 90f3c0

Yes. Best to act quickly.
No. 819976 ID: 3abd97

Works for us.

Let's find some copper body paint, unless she's already got some for some reason.
No. 820668 ID: 15a025

Tonight works great. Maybe offer to meet up for dinner first?
No. 820694 ID: 91ee5f

It would be better to do it during the day time, so that we can actually see the thief and they don't disappear into the night!
No. 820893 ID: bfb318
File 150212060283.png - (222.98KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 251.png )

"Alright, I'll pick up some copper body paint and meet you at the plaza. We should work fast, so that there's still daylight out."
"Where would you find copper body paint?"
"At the hardware store."
"... yeah okay, see you soon."

By the time we show up, Khivat is already there.

"Hey Khivat. Thanks for doing this."
>"I sent out a public message about the unveiling. That way the copper thief knows there's a copper statue, and if not, it means he's out of town and the town is completely crime free." says Gallsby.
"It's not that crime free while there's public nudity going on."
>"Oh yeah you're nude! Frillsby should we arrest her?"
"No, because she's doing a public service. She gets a crime pass."
"About that." Khivat continues. "I have a better idea. You be the statue. I thought the whole point of me doing it was because I don't have fur, but you don't either, Frillsby. With you doing it, it'll be a double-copper trap.
No. 820895 ID: 01e263

Compromise, you both become statues.
No. 820896 ID: 17c2ee

Sorry, but you're already a copper, that would be redundant. Khivat needs to do it so we have a triple-copper trap.
No. 820897 ID: 2e620f

Yeah, both of you get painted and pose it up. Someone might suspect one statue could be a body painted person, but they'd never suspect TWO people would do it!
No. 820905 ID: 680754

Double statue for sure.
No. 820925 ID: da1652

Khivat's also effectively immortal. Being completely coated in metallic paint could be kinda toxic.
No. 820952 ID: 2d1231


Yeah, both. That way we can cover all the bases.
No. 820953 ID: 3ce125

Well I mean there was also the fact that if the copper thief tries to eat her she's less likely to die.

(also I think Frillsby is supposed to have some fur, I mean look at the title image)
No. 820954 ID: 87353e

Double statues, definitely. Have Gallsby start workshoping some statue pose ideas for the both of you.
No. 820974 ID: 3abd97

No see, if you help with the bait, then you're leaving your partner alone to apprehend the criminal without backup. And as a cop, you can't do that.

Besides, if the statue gets stolen, that means you'd both be kidnapped, and then both your rescues would be in Gallsby's hands. Gallsby. Are those really hands you want to trust your safety to? Look at them, they're claws, they aren't even hands!
No. 820976 ID: 91ee5f

No. 820977 ID: 015058

Just imagine it. You both painted up and posed together on a pedestal. I would say have her holding you over her head in a silly pose but not sure either of you would last long that way.
No. 822305 ID: 15a025

As funny as double cooper bait would be, I'm not sure we can leave our partner to catch the copper thief alone.
No. 822377 ID: 2d1231


Wait, wait ...! I've got this insane idea!

What if we had Karma Boy there, Darrin, be the statue? If it goes wrong, he'll end up preventing it all from working and we get the bad guys (hopefully). And if he gets stolen, then the bad karma goes away, right? It's a win-win!

According to bread-based karmic projections, he's probably definitely maybe our likely ticket out of this and into much better karma (again).
No. 822379 ID: 91ee5f

Isn't it bad karma to put him in a situation where you know something bad is going to happen to him?
No. 822387 ID: 2d1231


But it's GOOD karma if he does it aware and willingly. That way it's BAD karma for the thief to try to steal him!

It's totally flawless. Like blowjobs.
No. 822400 ID: 91ee5f

But Khivat is already here. And if we bring Mr. Karma here, in the middle of the city, where a crowd of people are going to be waiting for the unveiling of a "statute", there's no telling how many people owe someone something and/or are doing things that would need to be balanced out!

We might just end up causing a panic from his karma trying to affect everyone all at the same time!

I really don't think we should get him involved!
No. 822416 ID: 2d1231


Okay, good point, but hear me out ...

City-wide orgy. So many blowjobs.
We'll balance this karma problem like a big checkbook thing. Like karma accountants. Karmountants. (That sounded better in my head)
No. 826109 ID: bfb318
File 150411044619.png - (126.50KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 252.png )

>City-wide karma accounting
I don't think anyone is prepared for that much accounting. I think I'll leave Darrin out of this one.

"We compromise, Khivat. We both become statues."
"Acceptable. At least it'll be easier with company. This is going to take awhile, isn't it?"
"It's unlikely any thief would steal any of us right at the unveiling. The reveal is to just get the word out, and hopefully the thief will come later. I hope that's not a problem."
"Standing around doing nothing all night? The only difference between that and most nights is that normally I'm horizontal."
>"You can still be horizontal!" says Gallsby. "Who knows how statues are posed? There are infinite possibilities."
"That is a good point. We should think on how Khivat and I should pose, keeping in mind that we have to stay still for a long period of time for the thief to come out."
No. 826112 ID: 3d2d5f

Classic person on a horse with only three legs on the ground statue.

Frillsby gets to be the horse.
No. 826115 ID: a363ac

Gallsby can rub the horses balls for good luck
No. 826123 ID: 015058

Paint both of you playing magic at a table. Then you can sit and rest your arms. (Also play magic when the crowds thin out)
No. 826124 ID: 3a2157

handstand splits
No. 826134 ID: 137d21

I just realized; wouldn't there be some sort of karma imbalance (though maybe minor) from Darrin being rougher than he should've been with railing Frillsby?

Also, I second the vote for something involving a table and chairs, since you might be there a while. Not sure what plausible explanation there could be for such a statue though.
No. 826138 ID: bf3b49

>Not sure what plausible explanation there could be for such a statue though.
(Strip) poker, a treaty signing ceremony, palm reading...
No. 826140 ID: 137d21

>(Strip) poker, a treaty signing ceremony, palm reading...

I meant an explanation for why the city would commemorate something like that. The only idea I can think of involving Frillsby is a statue commemorating a victory of his over criminals/honoring his service to the town? Maybe he can stand over a dumpstered Khivat, lol.
No. 826151 ID: 3740b1

No. 826194 ID: 32d29a

A statue of two people laying on a brass frame bed. Then there is even more metal to draw out the thief.
No. 826216 ID: e36c7f

Whatever it is, it needs to be something that can't possibly result in Frillsby getting an unintentional boner.

Pardon I misspoke I meant something that will definitely result in him getting an unintentional boner.
No. 826217 ID: 3ce125

If the unveiling needs to be seen as legit you're gonna need the mayor to be in on this, because the mayor would be present for any new statues. Which means you should talk to the mayor first. He'll be able to help you come up with ideas anyway! (and veto most of them I expect)
No. 826517 ID: bfb318
File 150423998004.png - (124.97KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 253.png )

"Something with tables."
>"Handstands on tables." says Gallsby.
"And chairs."
>"Balance chairs on your feet."
"So we can sit down."
>"After the most intensive workout of the night."
"Working out magic decks."
>"Don't be lame Frillsby!"
"Don't kill me in the name of copper statues!"
>"It's got to be something dynamic! Something that means something to this town!"
>"I dunno, like... we're cops, have a statue involving triumphs you've done! That's it, I've got it! Stand triumphantly over a dumpstered Khivat!"
"That never happened!"
>"They don't know that!"
"Eh, that sounds okay, I get to lie down." Khivat interjects.
"With a dumpster on you."
"That's no problem."
"You're sure about this? If we get captured, we'll be in Gallsby's hands. Gallsby's. Those are barely even hands. We might be safer with a criminal than in those hands."
>"Don't be rude Frillsby!"
"Don't try to re-dumpster Khivat!"
"Maybe we should get Yams in on this."
"Let's not traumatize Yams with flashbacks."
>"So it's settled. Oh should we be calling the mayor to get in on this? What kind of unveiling is this if it's not by the mayor?"

We could try to get the mayor here, but since she only communicates by snail mail, we'd have to go into the mayor's manor. Which is also doable, but it cuts into free dumpster finding time.
No. 826518 ID: 3ce125

Go 2 mayor
No. 826519 ID: c2051e

"Let's split up." Nothing can go wrong!
No. 826520 ID: a363ac

send Yams to find a dumpster but don't tell him what for. TO THE MAYOR
No. 826672 ID: 137d21

Tell Yams that he needs to fake-dumpster Khivat for exposure therapy so Khivat can recover from her newfound phobia of dumpsters. We can probably dig a divot/hole/tunnel under the dumpster placement area so her torso can be underground while the dumpster lies above.
No. 826696 ID: 2d1231


Right now our only real triumphs are blowjobs, getting people covered in not-coffee, and doing it in the butt.
No. 826702 ID: 137d21


Hey, we also managed to convince a goat to sleep, stop Khivat from kililng whatshisface, and prevent a karma explosion. It just happens that most of these things involved buttsex.
No. 826730 ID: 3abd97

Honestly the dumpster seems like too much. A naked, Herculean victor over a defeat enemy seems more statue-y than a literal recreation.
No. 826757 ID: 137d21


What statue wouldn't be improved by the addition of a dumpster? Plus Gallsby can hide in the dumpster and burst out when the copper thief comes by.
No. 827173 ID: bfb318
File 150438770324.png - (154.08KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 254.png )

"We still have time, so let's go ask the mayor."
>"We have to go to that creepy place?"
"Yes, especially you, because it was your idea."

I call up Yams.

>"Hello Frillsby how are you? I hear there is going to be a statue unveiling. Do you need any lifting done?"
"Yes. Yes we do. We need a dumpster lifted over to the town plaza."
>"Wow what kind of dumpster and... why?"
"Secret statue making business."
>"Well okay I still get a little spooked when I see dumpsters but I'll do it for you!"
"Thanks Yams."

Gallsby and I head to the mayor's mansion, while Khivat hangs out at the plaza. We knock on the front door, but there's no answer.
No. 827181 ID: 3abd97

Well of course there's no answer, the mayor is a recluse.

Try shouting "police business".
No. 827188 ID: 3ce125

I swear to god, if the mayor is literally Recluse

Uhhh, knock again? Check the windows? Are there any indications the Mayor is currently at home?
No. 827196 ID: 137d21

Uh... we might want to tell Khivat to get out of sight before Yams comes over with his dumpster. Yams might get suspicious; otherwise, we can still go with >>826672 if absolutely necessary.

For the mayor's house, try checking for an open window or a back door if he doesn't respond soon. Maybe try shouting for him too; he might be asleep. We probably shouldn't break in violently since we don't want to piss him off before asking him for statue advice/help.
No. 827247 ID: 15a025

Open up, we know you're in there. Official cop stuff going on here.
No. 827286 ID: 32d29a

Knock on the backdoor?
No. 827328 ID: bfb318
File 150444206559.png - (177.83KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 255.png )

I knock harder, then check the windows. They're fogged up a little, but I can just see inside. There doesn't seem to be anyone in there.

>"Police business!" Gallsby yells.

I circle around to knock on the backdoor. All the lights are off, front and back, but when I go back to the front, Gallsby's standing in front of an open door.

>"It was completely unlocked!" he says. "There's cobwebs, Frillsby. Actual cobwebs!"
"Wait, I need to call Khivat."
No. 827329 ID: bfb318
File 150444210246.png - (116.77KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 256.png )

"Khivat I forgot to say that if Yams delivers a dumpster to a lone Khivat he might get spooked. Try to hide or something."
"Heh. Yeah, he would."
>"Eheheh, what're you doing here, alone, Khivat?" I hear Yams.

Khivat hangs up.
No. 827357 ID: 3abd97

>"There's cobwebs, Frillsby. Actual cobwebs!"
Don't be rude about the mayor's sense of decor, Gallsby.
No. 827361 ID: 137d21

Obviously the Mayor's a spider; don't be rude! He could also be putting up decorations for Halloween. Regardless, we should go in and investigate while trying not to disturb the cobwebs. If the Mayor's not in, I guess we'll have to do the unveiling/advertising for our statue ourselves. Maybe Randy and that goat guy can tell their customers?
No. 827363 ID: 91ee5f

Sooo, does this mean no one has been here for a while? Then wouldn't that mean that the mayor has never stepped foot in here? If the mayor or any assistants have never been here, then who has been giving you your orders? And if there has never been a mayor, then that might explain why you and Gallsby are still the only 2 cops in town. Can't hire more cops if there isn't a mayor to do the hiring.

Unless, the mayor lives in a different building and this place is a decoy in case anyone wanted to attack the mayor? If that's the case, then that's actually a clever plan. You can't attack the mayor of no one knows what you look like or where you live. In fact, you and Gallsby might've passed by the mayor on the streets a few times and you never knew it!

These can't be ruled out as possibilities either.
No. 827367 ID: 3ce125

Well I guess go look around inside.
No. 827745 ID: bfb318
File 150459374571.png - (147.92KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 257.png )

"Don't be rude about the mayor's sense of decor, Gallsby."
>"But it's bad!"
"Don't be rude."
>"It's the truth!"
"Don't be rude."

We enter. It's possible that the mayor doesn't come in here and it's all a ruse. Yet we never see the mayor anywhere else, so I bet that it's that the mayor never leaves. And no one ever comes, because there's not ever much need to see the mayor in person. Usually people just do what they want, and if it's a problem, then it's our responsibility.

Maybe that's why the mayor was so willing to hire us.

Either way, the lack of a mayor is probably also why we're the only cops on the force.

>Who has been giving you your orders?
The mayor gave us our orders only once, when we started. 'Keep the peace,' 'serve the people', 'get the baddies', and that kind of hot stuff.

There's a front desk. I didn't think there was a secretary. It has dust on it. I still don't think there's a secretary.
No. 827746 ID: bfb318
File 150459375202.png - (151.67KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 258.png )

Gallsby and I poke around.

>"Hey, hey Frillsby, come over here!" he shout-whispers.
"What is it?"
>"It's the mayor's bedroom."
"Does it sound like the mayor is inside?"
>"No but there's definitely someone inside!"
"How can you tell?"
>"The door's locked."

I knock on it. There's no answer, but I hear moaning.
No. 827748 ID: 1a9fe2

Moaning? Someone may be injured! Or trapped! You gotta help 'em out, gotta serve the people!
No. 827749 ID: 26c0a3

Someone could be rubbing one out hurt! You better check inside.
No. 827751 ID: 2719ef

Oh no, you can't just barge in during game night, that would be rude! Go fetch some pen, paper and D20 first.
There's no way in the universe that this sign could mean anything else.
No. 827752 ID: 3ce125

Knock again and ask if the mayor is in there, if he/she's okay. Or if you should wait a few minutes while they finish up.

Do not break the door. You don't quite have probable cause to do that.
No. 827759 ID: 3740b1

No. 827797 ID: 32d29a

Seeing the place is all cobwebbed up you should probably go inside to see if they are alright.
No. 827802 ID: 137d21

The mayor's probably sick or injured in there! Quick, break the door down so you can rescue him!
No. 827808 ID: 91ee5f

Someone was lazy and didn't want to write "Do Not Disturb".
No. 827938 ID: 3abd97

Peek through the keyhole, but do not force the door.
No. 828132 ID: 02a0f7

Making the mayor irritated at you is probably not the greatest of ideas. It says DND, she's clearly busy running dnd games online.
No. 828462 ID: bfb318
File 150478569667.png - (95.58KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 259.png )

I knock again. The moaning has stopped.

"Are you okay in there, mayor?" I ask, to get no response.

I peek through the keyhole and confirm that I can't see a thing.

>"Better get some pens, paper, and a d20." Gallsby says, helpful as always.
"Well, there's nothing we can do."
No. 828463 ID: bfb318
File 150478570555.png - (111.48KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 260.png )

>"Frillllllsbyyyy. Where's your sense of kicking down doors?"
"Crushed under my sense of being reasonable."
>"The mayor could be crushed or injured or trapped! We've gotta help 'em out."
"We don't have probable cause."
>"That's the name of my foot!"
"Feet don't have names."
>"Tell that to probable cause."
"I will never talk to your foot, Gallsby. Plus, the mayor might be running a D&D game."
>"Then let's join it!"
"Breaking down a door to the GM's room and demanding to join in a game is possibly the worst way to get invited."
>"Clearly, you have never played D&D."
"With tactics like that, I'm betting you haven't either. Fine, Gallsby, I'm nervous about the health of the mayor, so do what you do."
No. 828464 ID: bfb318
File 150478572236.png - (165.81KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 261.png )

I'm not pleased to send Gallsby in like this, but the worst part about watching him break down the door is that he doesn't even use his 'probable cause' foot.

There's grumbling from underneath the bed covers. I hear the voice talk about letting sleep happen.
No. 828482 ID: 137d21

Wow! They're playing DnD under a blanket fort! That's so cool! Dive in and join them.
No. 828570 ID: 3ce125

Gallsby you're in trouble. The mayor was just sleeping. In the middle of the day. You're gonna have to balance some karma because of that, you know.
No. 828604 ID: a363ac

THE MAYOR IS STEALING THE COPPER ARREST HIM AND DECLARE YOURSELF THE NEW MAYOR! as your first decree say that all heterosexual activity has to be declared publicly 30 minutes in advance.
No. 828728 ID: 3abd97

Explain to Gallsby that harassing mayors in their bedrooms is terrible karma, especially when you work for them, and that's going to negatively impact his blowjobs.
No. 829285 ID: bfb318
File 150499527378.png - (197.95KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 262.png )

"Gallsby, you just woke up the mayor. That's probably awful karma."
>"I don't think people play D&D to complain about a lack of sleep. I guess I'll just need a blowjob to make up for it!"
"Gallsby we can't just start thinking of blowjobs day in, day out."
>"I think we can."
"We shouldn't."
>"We should!"
"The karma just means any blowjobs will be bad! Also we should really stop talking about blowjobs right in front of the mayor!"
>"Hey, mayor, you mind?"

The mayor sits up in her bed. In full business wear, I notice.

>"Please go back to talking about D&D." she says. "I may as well have been playing it under my blankets all night, for all the rest I got."
No. 829286 ID: bfb318
File 150499539139.png - (148.34KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 263.png )

The mayor looks at her clock.

>"What are you two doing in my room at 6:45 in the morning?"
"It's evening, ma'am."
>"But I... set my alarm."
No. 829287 ID: bfb318
File 150499542412.png - (149.06KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 264.png )

She squints at her clock.

>"Well, would you look at that. A mistake. I wonder if I can abolish the AM/PM system..."
No. 829288 ID: bfb318
File 150499552091.png - (151.47KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 265.png )

>"Anyway, what's the emergency?"
>"We have a statue we want to unveil!"
>"Well, we can't do that without a mayor to unveil it, can we. But, a statue..."
>"If you don't want to do it, I can be mayor for today."
>"Over my dead body, Gallsby. When do you want to unveil this statue?"
>"...... please define 'now'. I'm astonishingly drowsy, and my ability to make a proper speech is in dire shape."
No. 829289 ID: 7b6617

Give her some context first: What the status is and why.
No. 829291 ID: 015058

Ask her what day she thinks it is. I bet she has been sleeping forever.
No. 829307 ID: 91ee5f

Just explain the situation and your plan. Then let her tell you how dumb the plan is and have her fail to come up with a better plan.

Also, inform her that pajamas would be more comfortable to sleep in. And then tell her that everything outside her room looks like nobody has been in the building for a really long time and they all just left her here.
No. 829308 ID: 26c0a3

She probably has some sort of magical power that makes her sleepy. Try poking her to see if that wakes her up.
No. 829346 ID: a363ac

It's called a 24 hour clock. also the statue is future evidence to the case of the Copper Caper.
No. 829347 ID: 3abd97

>mayor is a slinky fluffy thing who sleeps in a business suit

>"...... please define 'now'.
Honestly, it'll probably take at least an hour to get you guys posed, spray paint over everything, get Gallsby to clean up (can he even hold spay cans in his claws), wait for the paint to dry, and set up a ribbon for the mayor to cut.

Can she be ready in an hour, or should we give her more time?
No. 829349 ID: 830fb7

With the state of her office I'm supprised she isn't breaching health and safety regulations, even the mayor of a town isn't safe against the rules for the health and safety of their town.
No. 829386 ID: 15a025

Fill them in on why there's a statue unveiling, and ask if an hour is reasonable?
No. 829387 ID: 486e87

We're doing something silly to catch a copper thief, cause there's someone with karma powers in town.
No. 829388 ID: 015058

Wait a second. What if she has normally been so busy she does not sleep much? And her karma to balance that out has been to sleep for days?
No. 829389 ID: 3ce125

Hey can we get some badges too?
No. 829425 ID: 137d21

May as well bring her up to speed on the recent going-ons. Don't know how long she's been asleep, so we should probably start from Khivat's dumpstering and end with the karma thing. Graphic descriptions of our sexcapades is optioinal, of course.

Maybe she'll have some better ideas on how to solve the copper problem once she's fully awake? Or maybe she'll have some explanation for the missing copper that isn't theft? Otherwise, yeah, we can probably give her 30 min-hour for us to get set up. I can't wait to see what she comes up with to explain the dumpstering statue.
No. 829617 ID: bfb318
File 150508946797.png - (81.60KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 266.png )

"It will take us about an hour to get set up."
>"An hour? That is fast."
"Can you do it?"
>"Euh... I can get to the plaza in an hour, yes. I can be present. But, awake? Able to make a speech? That's asking a lot."
"If it helps, we can talk about what the statue is."
>"Yeah!" says Gallsby. "It's a na-"
No. 829618 ID: bfb318
File 150508947432.png - (114.72KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 267.png )


The mayor pushes her finger right onto Gallsby's snoot.

>"Nothing happens in this town." she continues. "I want the surprise. I need the surprise. Don't tell me what the statue is. If I can wake up, I can make a speech for some statue. Just tell me why the statue is."
"We're trying to catch a copper thief."
>"Oh. Okay. A bait statue. Good idea."
"There's a little more to it than that."
>"I don't want to know."
"Do you know what day it is?"
>"No, and if this day goes by unruined, I'll make it through without finding out."
>"How do you function?" asks Gallsby."
>"I have built my career and influence on not knowing anything. Don't ask how, because I don't know that, either."
"There is one other issue. Gallsby and I don't have badges."
>"You've been policing this whole time without badges?"
>"Why haven't you gotten any?"
"It didn't come up for the longest time. Can you get us some?"
>"I don't see why not."

I poke the mayor."

>"What are you doing?"
"Seeing if that's helping you wake up."
>"It isn't."
No. 829619 ID: bfb318
File 150508953193.png - (159.83KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 268.png )

The mayor sits back onto her bed and pulls out a laptop. Gallsby sits at the foot of her bed, and starts talking.

>"So... what's your real name, anyway?"
>"Wow! Your parents must be proud both you and themselves that you became a real mayor."
>"It wasn't always my name, but people used to have no idea whether to call me by my real name or 'Ms. Mayor', so I legally changed my name to Mayor to make it easier for everyone."
>"Wow again! With efficiency like that, I can see why you became Mayor!"
>"Why are you on a costume site, Mayor? Why are you ordering two badges from a costume site?"
>"Because you two never did. I'll sign them to make it official. Now please think of something to help wake me up so I can make a good statue speech on the fly."
>"Have you considered pajamas, or a 24 hour clock?"
>"No and yes."
No. 829621 ID: 015058

Coffee wakes people up. And some donuts would be nice. Is the cute goat shop nearby?
No. 829622 ID: c2051e

$13 plus tax and S&H seems like a ripoff. Ask if she wants coffee or food.
No. 829623 ID: 830fb7

Have you tried coffee in the mornings becouse if your this sleepy it could help a lot (coffee inhibits your ability to feel tired)
No. 829626 ID: 3abd97

We can have it ready in more than an hour, if you can tell us how long you'll need.

>Now please think of something to help wake me up so I can make a good statue speech on the fly.
...blowjobs? A good fucking?

I mean, you guys do owe her some karma after barging into her room and waking her up and everything.
No. 829640 ID: e36c7f

You know who has magical wakefulness powers? Villi! You need to somehow transfer some of Villi's magical awakeness to the Mayor's seemingly-supernatural sleepiness. Maybe if he ate more donuts than he needed, his body would make more magical wakeup juice or whatever it does, so there'd be lots of excess wakefullness magic saturating his whole body, and then she could somehow take some part of him inside herself and get that effect?

But how could that be accomplished?????
No. 829654 ID: 91ee5f

A splash of cold water to the face?

A slap to the face?

A kick to the butt?

Well, you could offer her some of Villi's magical wakeup donuts if none of that other stuff will work!
No. 829660 ID: 32d29a

Take her to the goat bakery for coffee and foods?
No. 829667 ID: bb78f2

The mayor has no dick to suck! Frillsby and Gallsby are gay! Stimulation of that kind might work, but we'd someone who's sexuality that Ms. Mayor caters to, and someone who caters to Ms. Mayor's sexuality!

Blowjobs and sex aren't the solution to everything!

My only solution is Villi's stand ability somehow working on someone that isn't him.
No. 829673 ID: 3ce125

No. 829679 ID: 90f3c0

Go with the obvious solution and give her one of your dubious energy drinks.
No. 829755 ID: 830fb7

Nope. that could kill her, we don't know what's in it and she hasn't had anything else to drink or eat today (to my knowledge).
No. 829757 ID: 91ee5f

Heeeey, I just now noticed something!

Gallsby isn't wearing that shirt from the gas station anymore! He's wearing a different shirt!

What happened? Did he finally flex too hard and the gas station shirt got shredded to pieces? And where did he get that replacement shirt?
No. 830063 ID: 830fb7

I like how in the image it shows her bopping Gallsby on the nose while being poked in the shoulder.
No. 830075 ID: a363ac

WRESTLE-MANIA!!! Jump that Frillsby, Gallsby and then smack Mayor with a pillow!
No. 830281 ID: 830fb7

Party zone badges. Does that make them the party police.
No. 830371 ID: a363ac

no the Fashion police.
No. 830394 ID: 891bfa

The mayor's power seems to be serendipity.
No. 830397 ID: 5d4e08

Yeah, though you do have a preference for dudes someone is going to have to take one for the team to balance out the amount of blowjobs that were given.
No. 830503 ID: ebc528

Just give her the energy drink. She thrives on uncertainty, so this should be right up her alley.
No. 830944 ID: 15a025

Ask if she'd like a shady energy drink?
No. 831000 ID: bfb318
File 150563280420.png - (132.79KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 269.png )

>"I do have an idea!" says Gallsby. "So, we have a cute goat at the bakery..."
>"No." the mayor says. "Coffee only makes me more tired."
>"That was the the third idea, the second being wrestlemania, the fourth being a good fucking! See, the goat has the opposite issue, where if he eats donuts, he doesn't need to sleep. So if he loads up on a bunch of donuts..."
>I'm listening."
>"And gets his body gets full of excess wakefullness magic, then you could somehow take part of him inside herself and get that effect! But how could that be accomplished?"
>"I don't know."
>"If only there was a way to suck that magic right out of him!"
>"If only." says the mayor.
"Gallsby I'm not a big fan of this idea, even if it's not the worst idea you've proposed so far."
>"You don't have to be!" Gallsby replies, "Just the mayor."
>"That's not how it normally works anyway." she says. "So no, I will not be giving the goat a blowjob."
>"Mayor whoa no one said anything about giving the goat a blowjob!" Gallsby has the nerve to say.
>"Good, because that isn't happening, because that's not how it works."
"Gallsby what happened to your gas station shirt?"
>"I flexed my fluff, and got too sexy for my shirt. Rest in peace, shirt. Then I put on a new one and was going to see how long it took for you to notice!"
"Consider it noticed. Mayor, I have a couple of energy drinks."
>"Maybe good. What kind is it?"
"It's called 'Fizzy Drink', is an import from another language, and is not legally a food."
>"Perfect. Give it."

I fetch it, and she studies it before drinking.
No. 831001 ID: bfb318
File 150563281760.png - (123.80KB , 1000x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 270.png )

>"That smells like chemicals!" says Gallsby.

The mayor squints at him.

>"Everything is chemicals. And these chemicals are great. You said you had a couple? You should try it. Just a little. Because I want the second can, too. Damn, I can't read the nutrition facts. I assume this box are those facts. They might be lies. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this box is the nutritional lies. Whatever, it's my favorite drink now. Is there anything else you want from me, or can we get this show on the road? I can help you get set up faster if you want. This stuff is kicking in already. I can be ready in two minutes. What do you need? Anything? Pretty sure I can do anything. I'm the mayor."
No. 831005 ID: a633c6

We are a bad influence.
No. 831024 ID: 015058

We could use a proper police station. Right now we are storing criminals in one of our beds. Its probably some sort of crime in of itself really.

Having a evidence lab would be nice. And one of those lights you put on cars.
No. 831034 ID: a363ac

A statue and a new TV and game station w/ SMASH.
NO! we can't have those things then we can't have plausible deniability about when we are arresting hot dudes!
No. 831036 ID: fd306a

Yes, get a police station! But make it look like their apartment and build it next door to the apartment building they live in.
No. 831039 ID: b90cbe

Take the barest essentials, but plate them in gold.
No. 831098 ID: 3abd97

>I can be ready in two minutes. What do you need? Anything? Pretty sure I can do anything. I'm the mayor.
A raise?

Or we could revisit the issue of blowjobs, since she can do anything.

If we wanna be practical, a bunch of bronze spray paint, one of those fancy unveiling ribbons, giant scissors, and a press conference.

>drink label
>"Be man"
Suddenly I wonder how literal that is. Is the mayor packing anything extra in her suit pants?
No. 831099 ID: 2d1231


No. 832468 ID: bfb318
File 150625543773.png - (169.67KB , 900x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 271.png )

"A police station. Right now we have to store criminals on our bed, which is probably some kind of crime in itself."
>"Wait!" Gallsby says. "Then how are we going to keep plausible deniability when we arrest hot dudes?"
"Fine, a police station that looks exactly like our apartment. But also an evidence lab."
>"Yeah sure." says the mayor.

>Drink label says 'be man'
I doubt that's literal. It was another energy drink that was magically formed.

"Also, for this, a fancy unveiling ribbon, giant scissors, and a press conference."
>"I'll see what I can do."
"And neither Gallsby nor myself would complain if we got a raise."
>"Good to know. Now get out of my room, I can't believe you guys broke in!"

That should be everything we need. I can double check any last preparations or supplies we need, but we can probably just get on with it, now.
No. 832469 ID: 32d29a

Time to head out and make sure Yams is okay.
No. 832474 ID: 45b653

As your leaving inform her the place is a mess and is probably a breach of safety regulations.
No. 832475 ID: 3abd97

>I can't believe you guys broke in!
Hey, no one had seen you in literally forever. It was a welfare check. That is a legal thing police can do.
No. 832492 ID: 015058

When you are the major this counts as city hall. We did not break in cause it was official business.

Also we were worried due to not having seen you forever.

Get on with gettin on.
No. 832596 ID: 45b653

How big is this house anyway, if there is so much space unused as to collect so much dust why don't you ask wether you can just move in here and use (the other side to her side) it for housing and a police HQ. Fixes the problem of not wanting to build a new police station and uses space that would be otherwise wasted. Also it makes it easier for her to contact you if she needs you for any official business (for example a police escort if she needs to do any official work around town) or if she just needs help with something.
No. 832600 ID: 91ee5f

That's probably not gonna work because if we bring any real criminals here and they happen to break out, then they'd have easy access to a high value hostage, the Mayor!
No. 833255 ID: bfb318
File 150661871505.png - (157.14KB , 1000x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 272.png )

"We didn't, this counts as the public city hall, right?"
>"As much as your apartment counts as public police HQ."
>"Okay, then it's private, but we were concerned for your health, since we haven't seen you in ages."
>"And that gives you the right to barge in?"
"It does."
>"... yeah that makes sense."
"Speaking of your house. It's kind of a mess, and probably a breach of safety regulations."
>"Want to hire a house inspector to confirm that?"
"Do we have one in town?"
"Okay, what I'm getting at here is that this house is big, and seems mostly unused. What if we made police HQ and city hall here?"
>"What are we, communists? I don't want criminals in my house! I'll make a building that'll be both public access city hall and police HQ."
"Okay. Let's go, Gallsby."
No. 833257 ID: bfb318
File 150661885159.png - (217.32KB , 900x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 273.png )

Since there's no luxury amount of time, there's no faffing. We get to work. Gallsby finds a tarp to cover the 'statue' with for the unveiling, while we cover ourselves in copper body paint.

>"Why were we doing this again?" Gallsby asks.
"Double copper bait. For the copper thief."
>"Oh, yeah."

>"Frillsby this plan actually seems really dumb now that we're doing it."
"Well don't say that when we're halfway through with it!"
>"Oh no we're definitely doing it even if there's no way it's even going to work. It'll probably work though."
"Actually, I am getting some second thoughts..."
>"Too bad!"
No. 833259 ID: bfb318
File 150661887489.png - (199.50KB , 1000x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 274.png )

Khivat and I get in position, and the tarp is put over us just in time for us to start hearing a lot of people outside. Way way more people than I would have expected to show up.

I hear the mayor take the center platform we're on and hush the crowd.

>"We're gathered here to honor the police that I'm sure keep this town safe and sound. A bronze - "
>"Copper." Gallsby whispers from the side.
>"Copper statue has been commissioned to celebrate past policing deeds. Do we have any questions from the reporters?"
>"Yes, ma'am! Where have you been all this time, Mayor?!"
>"Any questions about the statue?"
>"No ma'am!"
>"Okay, press conference over, let's see the statue."
No. 833260 ID: bfb318
File 150661890363.png - (232.21KB , 1000x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 275.png )

No. 833262 ID: bfb318
File 150661891986.png - (109.36KB , 1000x600 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 276.png )

Come to think of it, maybe we should have painted the dumpster, too. It literally is, and looks like, an old dumpster.

I see Villi in my peripherals, clapping in the crowd. Several people join in. Reactions are mixed, and not a single person person looks away.

Someone else yells out to no one in particular probably.

>"So is the size of that junk on model?"
>"Yes." the mayor says with an alarmingly non-existent time gap.
No. 833263 ID: bfb318
File 150661894484.png - (114.44KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 277.png )

The reporter calls out to the mayor.

>"Ms. Mayor, I have questions about the statue after all!"


>"... well, you should have asked when you had your chance. The art will just have to speak for itself."
>"Wait!" a bystander from the crowd yells to her. "Can we rub the balls for good luck?"
No. 833264 ID: 91ee5f

>"Wait!" a bystander from the crowd yells to her. "Can we rub the balls for good luck?"
Is that Gallsby?! Stop it! You're not helping!

And even if that isn't Gallsby, we can't let anyone touch Frillsby's balls because that'll reveal that the statue is a fake and ruin our plan to catch the copper thief and/or thieves!

Hopefully, the Mayor will say, "No." because Frillsby can't speak while pretending to be a statue!

Also, Frillsby, no matter what, don't get a boner!
No. 833265 ID: 3abd97

>"Can we rub the balls for good luck?"
...as the statue is brand new, we don't have any specific laws about it, besides the ones already pertaining to town property. And since no prior structures build have had balls, there's no law against that.
No. 833269 ID: 015058

I don't see why not.
No. 833270 ID: a363ac

Only on exam week or if you are police.
No. 833293 ID: c9fd48

Isn't it supposed to be the toes, rather than the balls?
No. 833296 ID: 783f41

It's supposed to be toes. This isn't Oscar Wilde.
No. 833302 ID: 3740b1

Form a line in front of the statue for ball rubbing and one in back for bum caressing.
No. 833383 ID: 137d21

Why are we naked in the first place? It's not as if clothes would make it any less believable to the touch (since I assume frillsby's skin doesn't feel like copper). Some tight-fitting clothes (so they wouldn't rustle in the wind) would probably have been fine.

Oh well, too late now. The mayor needs an excuse either for Frillsby's upcoming erection or why the crowd can't rub the statues' balls. I vote that the mayor says the statue is an interactive exhibit and is purposely incredibly lifelike and animatronic.

Also, Khivat's position doesn't look all that comfortable. Let's hope the copper thief comes quickly.
No. 833411 ID: e0a570

Absolutely of course you can, these statues are full-contact. In fact it's encouraged to give it a good "worn-in" look.
No. 833426 ID: c31aac

guys we're not actually made of copper if people touch us they'll know
No. 833428 ID: 137d21


Our only recourse is to flex really hard while we're being touched to feel harder (like copper). Pretending to be an animatronic sex robot is a distant second option.
No. 833463 ID: 32d29a

Why just the balls? Go for gold (copper) and give the shaft a go.
No. 833468 ID: 1c8358

You know the mayor doesn't know you guys are gay? Given that look she gave you, she might think this is just a very elaborate way of hitting on her.
No. 833481 ID: c9fd48

No, you can't cop the copper copper.
No. 833748 ID: 15a025

Would you ask the officer this statue is of the same question?
No. 834041 ID: bfb318
File 150696544827.png - (129.11KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 278.png )

The crowd goes silent, and the mayor glares at the bystander.

>"You mean the toes?" she asks.
>"I thought it was the snoot for good luck." another bystander says.
>"No, definitely balls." the first states.

>Why are we naked in the first place?
... I've forgotten.

The mayor recollects herself.

>"Would you ask Frillsby himself the same question?"
>"Yeah, if he was around!"
>"All we have is this lifelike statue. You know what? Sure. Rub the dang balls, but you break them, you buy them, and copper and labor isn't cheap."
No. 834042 ID: bfb318
File 150696547023.png - (183.97KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 279.png )

Khivat may not be comfortable, but it shouldn't be too bad either. The dumpster is right side up. It's less convincing, but the wheels take off most of the weight from her.

I have to stand upright. With this development, I have to stop myself from being more upright. Some people do rub my toes or snoot, but people are practically daring each other to go for the jewels.

Yams tries his hand at getting good luck, too.

>"How much good luck do you need?" asks the guy behind him.
>"Oh uh basically all of it!"

If I keep staring forward and imagine that there aren't dozens of people staring at my butt, this does feel kind of good. Even if it's also kind of alarming there's this many people that want to rub the balls of a statue of me. I'm pretty sure when each person leave, they're a little confused as to what kind of copper statue has malleable balls.

It's chalked up to advanced statue making, and I bet the double standard result of a world that is okay with rubbing a statue's balls, but not a cop's balls.

Since I have to stay still, I'll just have to trust Gallsby to stop things from going too far. Or too much farther.
No. 834045 ID: bfb318
File 150696553150.png - (109.70KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 280.png )

I never knew Frillsby could be so still! He's pretty impressive. Maybe I should help his impending erection by making erotic motions with my monster claws. Or just let it happen. What kind of year of our lord do we live in if statues don't get erections when someone rubs them?
No. 834046 ID: bfb318
File 150696556615.png - (201.00KB , 1100x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 281.png )

>"H-hey, mister."
"Hello, fellow tall citizen that snuck up behind me."
>"That statue. It's real copper, right? High quality?"
No. 834051 ID: a363ac

oh absolute 100% "COPPER" from the coating to its specially designed center.
No. 834052 ID: 015058

Oh yeah the highest. The artist was very picky about it and refused to work unless we gave him the best. Sort of a pain really that stuff is expensive. Should have a nice patina eventually though.

Also possibly magical copper due to what will be happening shortly.
No. 834055 ID: 2d1231


The realest and most highest quality of copper that ever clad a copper copper.
No. 834059 ID: 33b7e7

Not only is it copper, it's a statue OF a copper, and it's turning everyone INTO coppers! Because it's inspiring everyone to cop a feel! Get it? Only the most quality of a quality copper statue would respond to being copped so realistically! That's why it's called copper!!... Try it yourself and see!
No. 834066 ID: da1652

"Well i'm pretty sure the dumpster's just a dumpster but the rest looks like copper to me!"
No. 834167 ID: 3abd97

>they're a little confused as to what kind of copper statue has malleable balls
Should have used a thicker coat of paint. Or something that dried hard. You could have a shell! Which wouldn't impede your plan to catch the copper thief at all!

Only the finest copper for a statue of our finest copper!

Why you asking? Are you a reporter or something?
No. 834175 ID: daa216

Sure looks high quality to me. Just feel those balls.
No. 834181 ID: 744892

Why is he drooling?
No. 834182 ID: 2a13fa

hm. probably pretty obvious who that guy is, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Time to set the bait.
No. 834189 ID: 137d21

...If he's the one responsible for those massive holes, we might need to arrest him quickly before he chows down on Frillsby. Not sure if our magic nullification will help us against whatever powers he has (if they're physical).

Maybe Yams should be located nearby to be ready to intervene if necessary? I'm sure he wouldn't mind; he seems to really be enjoying polishing Frillsby's balls.
No. 834278 ID: bfb318
File 150707105575.png - (126.09KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 282.png )

"We'd only use the finest copper for the statue of our finest copper! Except for the dumpster. That's just a dumpster."
>"I don't know... it seems so... non-metallic."
"It's just advanced statue tech. It's 100% copper, inside and out! See how it's turning everyone else into coppers?"
"Because everyone's copping a feel."
>"..... ohh I get it. Do you mind if I... inspect it?"
"Oh, sure, just feel those balls. By the way, I haven't seen you around before. You a reporter or something?"
"Why are you asking, then?"
>"I'm what you might call a........"

"Why are you salivating?"
>"I get that way when I get excited."

Today sure is a win for finding tall guys.
No. 834280 ID: bfb318
File 150707113673.png - (104.09KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 283.png )

The potential copper guy just stands around waiting for the crowd to thin out before hopping up on the statue platform to get a closer look. There's still a couple people around, so unless this guy is less sneaky than we gave him credit for, he shouldn't do toooo much. Just in case, I should get Yams.
No. 834281 ID: bfb318
File 150707117698.png - (129.46KB , 900x700 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 284.png )

I pull Yams to the side.

"Okay, Yams, that might be the copper criminal! I may want your help to intervene if necessary."
>"Ummmm.... how do I know if I should intervene? Also, how?"

On no fewer than 3 occasions during that sentence, Yams shot glances at the dumpster.
No. 834282 ID: 1a9fe2

Don't dumpster them! Yams' thirst for blood shall not be quenched, especially not on this Momentous Statue Unveiling. That seems like a very bad idea. Just grab 'em and cuff 'em! Or to put it in Yams terms, grab them and pick them up.
No. 834283 ID: 137d21

While dumpstering him would be hilarious, I think grabbing the suspicious copper fetishist if he looks like he's going to bite down. Alternatively, punch him in the face.

If Frillsby's immune to Khivat's fire powers, she could just set him on fire as well (though that might be a bit too violent).
No. 834285 ID: 3abd97

No dumpstering unless it's an emergency, Yams. Most people don't get to be as fine as Khivat!
No. 834290 ID: a363ac

don't kill him Yams! Just pick the dumpster up off Kivet.
No. 834297 ID: 3ce125

Just tell him he needs to lift the dumpster off of Khivat so that she can help fight. He should in no way use the dumpster as a weapon. Getting it out of the way may be a good idea too. The codephrase is "yams".

Also follow the dude up there, on the pretense of copping a feel yourself.
No. 834423 ID: 3542b5

Tell slobberbeast he's cute and ask for his name!
No. 834522 ID: 2d1231


How potentially fatal is a dumpster to a totally magical, copper-eating entity?
No. 835059 ID: 15a025

Intervene if the slobber doggo tries to scrub the copper dish.
No. 836398 ID: bfb318
File 150790080737.png - (128.12KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 285.png )

"No Yams, no dumpster! Contain your thirst for blood."

Yams stutters helplessly.

"Just pick the dumpster off Khivat if we need her help. The code phrase is 'Yams'."
>"Are you sure? I think that could lead to confusion."
"It sounds pretty simple to me, Yams!"


"Yams no!"
>"I'm not!"

This might be a magical, copper eating entity that has gained dumpster immunity.

Whoa hey that guy is licking the copper right off of Frillsby!
No. 836399 ID: bfb318
File 150790087501.png - (96.60KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 286.png )

"Hey, slobberbeast! You're defacing public property and being cute! What's your name?"
>"They call me Heavy Metal."
"That's cool and all but I wanted your name, not what people called you!"
>"Oh, it's Jamie. This is good statue art. It really does talk about how, in a way, we're all just advanced statues. Since, you know... this is just a guy covered in copper paint. Say, uh... did you still have copper paint? Were you going to use anymore? Because... I want it."
No. 836400 ID: 2e6b92

Well, I think we pretty much confirmed the copper thief's identity, unless Jamie has some relatives. Bake them away toys!

Frillsby should be in a good position to summon his handcuffs and restrain him while his back is turned. Gallsby should get ready to assist in case of any chomping (and get Yams ready as well). We can always use defacing public property as an excuse to arrest him for now before we completely confirm the copper biting.
No. 836403 ID: 33b7e7

Probably. You do know that copper paint has a ton of other, non-copper, non-healthy substances in it, right?

For that matter, do you know why there has been a sudden streak of copper thefts???
No. 836404 ID: a363ac

"YAMS!" get the jump on him.
No. 836427 ID: 90f3c0

"More paint? But you haven't even finished what's in front of you. You'll have to lick every inch off paint of Frillsby first."
No. 836489 ID: 3abd97

>Since, you know... this is just a guy covered in copper paint
Slander. This is a real statue, clearly you have the magic power to turn copper to flesh when you lick it.

Also didn't your mother ever tell you not to eat paint chips.
No. 836496 ID: 41c9bc

No. 836505 ID: 3ce125

Okay jeez let's just arrest the obvious copper thief okay???
No. 836514 ID: daa216

Id say we wait. This could just be someone who eats paint. Ask them where they've been hanging out in the recent days. If they like to lick other copper based items.
No. 836584 ID: 5af2a3

Yams go get this guy his drink while I stay here and watch him finish licking Frillsby AND Khivat. If you hurry you can make it back in time to help him lick Khivat.

So Firllsby how was it being fondled by like half the town? Do you want me to help lick you too?
No. 836728 ID: 15a025

Ask our slobbery copper enthusiast if they've been affected by the local copper thefts at all?
No. 836925 ID: bfb318
File 150810242413.png - (151.83KB , 900x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 287.png )

"You haven't finished what's in front of you yet, though!"
>"I'm working on it."

I think I can hear Frillsby telepathically screaming at me! Either he found a new magical ability, or I'm just imagining things.

>"So how about that copper paint?"
"With all the non-copper, very unhealthy things in it? It's probably the only thing keeping Yams from licking Khivat off!"
>"N- I wouldn't take advantage of her position!" Yams defends himself.
>"I'm used to eating a lot of bad stuff to get to the copper." says Jami.
"What if you just have the ability to turn copper paint into flesh when you lick it?"
>"Then I'd know by now."
"You know, there's been a lot of copper theft lately."
>"I know, I heard about it from my friend in town, so I came over right away."
>"Because if I can get to the stolen copper first, I can eat it. Because it's not illegal stealing if it's already stolen! Or if it's abandoned like all that abandoned copper in that road just out of town."
"That was you?"

Frillsby looks about ready to do something! He's in a good spot to summon those handcuffs. I have to buy time to get this criminal to keep licking Frillsby!

Or just call out Yams to arrest him, I guess.
No. 836928 ID: 91ee5f

Welp, that was a confession, so it's time to cuff him!
No. 836935 ID: 2a13fa

No. 836937 ID: 90f3c0

We cant arrest him before he's done licking, how else is Frillsby going to get that paint off?

Press him for more details. Ask about the "abandoned" copper in the scrapyard, and how he managed to tear up the road.
No. 836943 ID: a363ac

alright just finish cleaning these two off and we can take you right to the real "copper"
No. 836952 ID: 3abd97

>ike all that abandoned copper in that road just out of town
How the heck did you get that stuff out from under the road, they were buried pretty deep and those were big holes.

Keep em talking. Let's see how much he'll tell us being friendly before we have to arrest them for ripping up the road and ruining all those underground pipes.
No. 837439 ID: bfb318
File 150827531248.png - (123.25KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 288.png )

>We cant arrest him before he's done licking, how else is Frillsby going to get that paint off?
Well if I were Frillsby I'd probably say something like 'with a bath' but since I'm not boring this is a very good question.

But I have another question first!

"How'd you dig the copper out of the road?"
>"These are working monster hands!" Jamie puts his hands out and wiggles them at me.
"I have working monster hands too sort of and they can't do that!"
>"That must be because you don't have a relationship with any food like I have with copper. Copper gives me superpowers. I can handle anything!"
"Can you handle... handcuffs?!"
No. 837440 ID: bfb318
File 150827532053.png - (178.48KB , 1000x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 289.png )

Oh no Frillsby put handcuffs on him, I didn't mean that as a cue. Then again Frillsby isn't moving, he just summoned the handcuffs.

>"Uh where did these handcuffs come from?"
"They came from superpowers from being a copper! You're under arrest!"
>"Am I?"
"Yes, for ruining roads!"
>"But then who will lick the paint off this statue?"
"I will!"
>"You can't appreciate it like I can. I'm the best licker. Why are you trying to arrest me?"
"Ripping up roads is definitely a crime, and also me losing a bet that I hope Frillsby forgot about."

"It's a good thing he's not here! Only his statue!"
>"I don't want to be under arrest though."
"That's a tough nugget, because you are under arrest."
No. 837443 ID: 3abd97

If she can dig through roads with her bare monster hands to get copper, I don't think jail is gonna hold her too bad.

>"Naw." "Yeah!" "Naw."
There's no way you can afford to lose! Then the criminal wouldn't be arrested. Keep going.
No. 837444 ID: 4854ef

Better idea! He can lick the copper off while cuffed!
No. 837470 ID: 90f3c0

Tell him you'll be taking the statues back to the station as evidence. There shouldn't be much trouble getting him to come along for more of that copper paint.
No. 837482 ID: a363ac

Bugs bunny his ass "naw."
Anyways you have to take the statue in for matainace now anyway so its coming with you "YAMS! pick it up and take it back to the station!"
No. 837485 ID: 3ce125

Tell him to prove it. When he attempts to break the cuffs, hit him with some antimagic. That'll disrupt and stun him, then you can get him back to station or whatever.
No. 837499 ID: 2d1231


Alright, fine, it's only a little arrest because they came clean about it. But they're still in trouble.
No. 837507 ID: daa216

Allow him to finish licking off the statue. Make sure he gets all over...
No. 837603 ID: 65dabf

He is resisting arrest!
No. 837728 ID: bfb318
File 150836772718.png - (128.96KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 290.png )

"If I take these statues back to the station as evidence, will you come with me?"
>"Yeah but how about I just keep licking right here? It's cool."
"Because you're definitely under arrest!"
"Look, you confessed, so you're only a little bit under arrest."
"Prove it!"
No. 837730 ID: bfb318
File 150836783820.png - (175.25KB , 1000x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 291.png )

>"Okay, watch this!"

Jamie chomps on the handcuffs.


>"Oh... anti-magic cuffs."
No. 837731 ID: bfb318
File 150836784710.png - (82.88KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 292.png )

>"I guess I am under arrest after all."
"Yeah! Yams help me take this statue back to the station."
>"Can I carry this one?" Jamie asks, gesturing at Frillsby, even though he looks a bit more perturbed about being under arrest for real!
"I don't see why not!"

Yams comes up on the platform. He seems pretty afraid to get near Jamie though!

>"Wh-what about the dumpster?"

It's always dumpsters with this guy!
No. 837735 ID: 3ce125

Ok fine we'll take both statues back to the station. Move the dumpster.
No. 837738 ID: 91ee5f

>"Can I carry this one?" Jamie asks, gesturing at Frillsby, even though he looks a bit more perturbed about being under arrest for real!
No fucking way!

He'll either try and run off with Frillsby or he'll put his mouth around Frillsby's neck and threaten to rip his throat out if you don't take the cuffs off!

Gallsby is better off carrying Frillsby!

Actually, put Frillsby and Khivat in the dumpster and have Yams roll them back to the station! That way Gallsby can make sure this guy doesn't try to run off!
No. 837773 ID: 2e6b92

Can't we all just hitch a ride in/on the dumpster?
No. 837807 ID: 3abd97

So how's the audience of the entire town who showed up to the ribbon cutting been taking this show.

>>"Wh-what about the dumpster?"
The station is our home and I don't really want a dumpster in my home, Yams.
No. 837966 ID: bfb318
File 150843939588.png - (191.89KB , 1000x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 293.png )

"I don't want a dumpster in our station, Yams!"
>"That's d-definitely not what I meant, I'm sorry!"
"And you should be! But that does give me a better idea. Let's all get in the dumpster and have you drive it to the station!"

And that is what happens.

>"It's really not fair." says Jamie. "My tongue doesn't lick off copper paint right with these anti magic cuffs."

>How's the audience taking this show?
They're basically gone. I mean, there's probably still someone in the distance watching all of this, looking out from a building window or some corner, looking on with the utmost confusion as to what could possibly be going on.

Jamie did wait until everyone was at least out of proximity before doing his slobbery stuff. In fact, time flew by so much that it's plain midnight now. I think Khivat fell asleep because she didn't even pretend to try to stay stiff, so I had to distract Jamie while Yams dumpster'd her again.
No. 837967 ID: bfb318
File 150843940216.png - (105.68KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 294.png )

We get by our apartment, so I lead Jamie away. As soon as he turns the corner ahead of me, Khivat and Frillsby book it.

Typically when we book a crime person at our apartment, Frillsby makes the call to Jacksonville to ask them to do a pickup. Since Frillsby's not here, though, maybe I should make the call?

>"Can I have something to eat?" Jamie asks.
No. 837971 ID: 3ce125

Tell him you've got some food in there somewhere. Or you could order some pizza. No copper though. Ask Yams to dial Jacksonville for you, because monster hands.
No. 838020 ID: a363ac

it works
No. 838037 ID: 4aa2b6

If his magic was responsible for him being able to eat copper and now his magic is disabled, any copper (or the various nasties of copper paint) still in his stomach might start having an effect. Still, he doesn't seem to be showing it.

Ask him what he likes to eat besides copper. That is actual food.
No. 838039 ID: 91ee5f

He mentioned he had a friend in town. Does this friend have the same copper eating powers as him? If so, we'll have to arrest that guy also!
No. 838057 ID: 3740b1

Obviously offer him some of your copper meat.
No. 838138 ID: 3abd97

>Can I have something to eat?
What about all that copper you just ate.

How much do you even eat, if you ate those big pipes under the road. I don't know if we have that much food.
No. 838482 ID: bfb318
File 150861893805.png - (154.56KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 295.png )

>Offer him some of your copper meat.
I dunno, I get the mental image of a road that's been broken up and left copperless. Doesn't really make for good symbology.

"Hey, Yams, can you call Jacksonville for me?"
"And Jamie! I have a couple questions to ask you first. You said you had a friend here, who was that?"
>"I plead the fifth. Or just, use my right to remain silence. Whatever."
"We'll come back to that, but I'm more interested in how you could possibly need food after all that copper you ate?"
>"Doesn't do much good with these cuffs on. Now I need regular food, like some kind of.. regular person."
"I'll take any excuse to order some pizza. Uh, speaking of that, if you digesting it was magic, then would you eating all that copper be like a regular person eating all that?"
>"Actually nnnYEAH! Yeah, I'm actually going to die if you don't take these cuffs off!"

He coughs.
No. 838483 ID: d328bb

"I'm only that gullible when it's funny."
No. 838484 ID: a363ac

ask him what he wants on his last meal then. the only option is pizza w/ choice of toppings.
No. 838495 ID: 91ee5f

>"Actually nnnYEAH! Yeah, I'm actually going to die if you don't take these cuffs off!"
He was about to say no. Which means he thinks you're stupid enough to fall for that lie!

Tell him, "I'm insulted that you think I'm dumb enough to fall for that! You'll be fine, you big baby!"
No. 838496 ID: 3ce125

Tell him the cuffs are not coming off.
No. 838497 ID: 2d1231


Oh come on, trying to con Frillsby into letting us suck all the dicks through Karma is waaaaaaaaaay more believable than that.

You gotta at least put in some effort, Jamie. Also maybe some dick-sucking, because frankly, karma is a real thing and you've been doing a lot of licking but not a lot of proper sucking.
No. 838499 ID: 3abd97

That's perfect.

Now it's much more important that we argue about what's going on the pizza.
No. 838511 ID: 2d1231



No take-backsies.
No. 838560 ID: 15a025

Well we could just call in stomach pump if that's the case. Or we could call and order some pizza.
No. 838671 ID: 19afca

Don't be silly, everyone knows all body-safe paint is also stomach-safe. It's less expensive than keeping up two separate product lines.
No. 838673 ID: f3f2ea

No. 838708 ID: bfb318
File 150870007783.png - (110.41KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 296.png )

"I'm only that gullible when it's funny."
"No one can check for falseness when laughing. It's impossible. Can't be done. Now I'm gonna order pizza. What do you want on it?"

>"Pineapple only."
No. 838710 ID: 015058

This sounds like a great time for some police brutality.
No. 838711 ID: a363ac

"fine" get a meat lovers instead.
No. 838715 ID: e67428

"Sure you don't want some peas on there?"
No. 838717 ID: 3ce125

"Boy you really are a criminal aren't you."
Get a pizza with pineapple on one half and meat lovers on the other.
No. 838718 ID: a633c6

oh my god, a true criminal degenerate. Suddenly realize that you don't care what they want.
No. 838719 ID: 0d45a9

Just order it Gallsby, even if you disagree with the topping choice you don't have to eat it. You could even order something different for you and Frillsby.

Who asks for just pineapple though? At least add ham and mushroom, then you have a proper pizza.
No. 838724 ID: 3ce125

Wait a minute by "Pineapple only" is he saying no cheese or sauce? Just dough with pineapple on it?

Even if he doesn't mean that, that's what he's getting.
No. 838730 ID: 2d1231


No. 838737 ID: 3abd97

>Pineapple only
So we're just buying him a pineapple and calling it pizza, right.

No cheese, crust, sauce, etc. Pineapple only.
No. 838745 ID: c2051e

Well, we did already specify pizza. So, no cheese, no sauce, just a whole pineapple on unleavened bread.
No. 838747 ID: 9b80a5

okay that is a crime against humanity and she needs to be nuked/vaporized from orbit to pay for her sins
No. 838943 ID: 845448

Maybe clarify with him that he gets a whole pizza to himself and that he only wants pineapple and bread, order 2 pizzas, get something really good for yourself like chicken spinach alfredo.
No. 839141 ID: bfb318
File 150885974251.png - (121.39KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 297.png )

"As in nothing else? Sure you don't want some peas?"
>"If they have 'em, sure. Obviously they'll put on the sauce and cheese and stuff!"
"They do no such thing, if you say 'only pineapple!'"
>"That isn't true! You think if you say nothing, they just give you... bread?!"
>"Nahhh, there's just no way."
"Wanna find out?"
>"Haha. Sure."

I set up the order.

Do I need to prove anything to Jamie?

Is none pizza left pineapple going too far?

I guess I could order a real pizza too, but then Jamie will probably try to eat that too when he realizes the true meaning of none pizza.
No. 839145 ID: c2051e

You can have the right half of the pizza. Jamie gets the left.
No. 839146 ID: d9cd96

Order yourself a real meat-lover's pizza, and give him a none pizza with left pineapple for daring to doubt its existence.
No. 839150 ID: 91ee5f

Wait! How are you going to pay for anything? Doesn't Frillsby have the money needed to pay for stuff? Do you even have any money that you haven't already accidentally ripped to shreds trying to get it out of your pocket?

And is that pizza only for you and the prisoner? What about the others? Shouldn't you also check with Khivat, Frillsby, and Yams to see if they want something too? Unless Khivat and Yams have already gone home. Then you should at least also get something for Frillsby!
No. 839154 ID: d9cd96

>How are you going to pay for anything
Gallsby has a mouth, doesn't he?
No. 839248 ID: 33d4be

"Pizza with nothing but pineapple and peas."
No. 839316 ID: 53895c

Do 3 pizzas, one with the experiment, you show him that only, then surprise him with the rest.
No. 839599 ID: 3efda6

Get you and Frillsby a bomb-ass pizza, that nerd can have his half-pinapple none pizza if he wants to be such a snob about it.
No. 839602 ID: 91ee5f

What if the delivery person is a girl? Gallsby is gay, so he ain't gonna put his mouth near her.
No. 839622 ID: bfb318
File 150896233782.png - (144.46KB , 1000x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 298.png )

Heck with it! I'm not getting goaded into a lame pizza with no good pizza to offset it. I'm putting a meat lover's pizza in the order and keeping it to my... self...? Wait a second.

>How are you paying for it?
>Suck off the pizza delivery guy
What if they're a girl?! I can't take that chance!

"Uh actually we might have a problem."
>"Backing out?"
"Never! Except I can't pay for it."
>"Oh, but I can."
"... okay but I'm paying you back for my half because I don't want to feel like I owe a criminal anything!"
>"Heheh. Okay. But you have to take out the meat lover's. I'm only paying for the none pizza left pineapple."


>Pizza with nothing but pineapple and peas
>pineapple and peas
Excuse me but we live in civilization, where peas as a topping is only meant as hyperbole!

I put the order in.
No. 839623 ID: bfb318
File 150896236001.png - (106.69KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 299.png )

Within 30 minutes or less, we get our left pineapple none pizza.

>"Hello, your... 'pizza'. It's... yeah."
No. 839624 ID: bfb318
File 150896237275.png - (119.45KB , 1000x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 300.png )

Jamie pays the man who looks like retail devoured his soul and we eat our respective halves. I don't take the handcuffs off Jamie, so he has to just pick up the pizza with his mouth.

And the noises. The noises.

The way that Jamie chews the pineapple.

I have never heard or seen anything so disgusting in my life.

>"You know what the best part of pineapple is?"

Oh god he's talking with his mouth full!
No. 839625 ID: c2051e

Try to remember if you can legally kill him for this.
No. 839627 ID: 91ee5f

Watch out! He might be trying to do something to escape!
No. 839628 ID: 33d4be

>>"You know what the best part of pineapple is?"

The protease enzyme eventually erasing your fingerprints, you criminal criminal?
No. 839637 ID: 3f38b6

>"You know what the best part of pineapple is?"
The thing you can do with one and a yo-yo?
No. 839644 ID: 3ce125

Let me guess: it's a copper-rich fruit.
No. 839658 ID: a363ac

Call Frillsby for help this is too much. Even Yams might be able to help.
No. 839685 ID: 3abd97

>"You know what the best part of pineapple is?"
That you're eating it instead of me?

And just in case you were planning something, you did this to yourself. You can't complain I subjected you to cruel and unusual punishment and use that to get out of jail!
No. 839709 ID: daa216

Because its you, Im going to say the "pine" part.
No. 839710 ID: 41c9bc

This is probably the actual reason he likes pineapple.
No. 840202 ID: bfb318
File 150915139618.png - (122.63KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 301.png )

"Is it because it's copper rich?"
>"No, it - er? I mean, that's pretty cool, but it still has basically no copper compared to, you know, a bar of copper."
"So what is it? The protease enzyme erasing your fingerprints, you criminal?"
>"No! It's that I don't even like pineapple!"


>"The coolest part about eating pineapple on pizza is the faces of everyone around me! Everyone gets so offended by it! It's not a big deal, it's just a fruit! Fruit and bread go fine together!"
No. 840205 ID: a363ac

give him a smack.
No. 840208 ID: 3abd97

If they go fine together why don't you like it.

Huh? HUH?!

You're a jerk, leading that poor pineapple on! It thought it was loved, but you're just using it!
No. 840213 ID: 2e6b92

Gag him with your dick. Clearly, nothing useful comes out of that mouth.
No. 840214 ID: c2051e

"No honestly it's more about the noise you make. Including the ones from your throat. Which I'm going to gag. With my dick."
No. 840215 ID: 3ce125

Tell him it's more because he eats like a caveman. He needs to close his damn mouth and have some table manners.
No. 840217 ID: 0d45a9

Well, if he's gonna be annoying, you might return the favour and annoy him.
No. 840221 ID: bb78f2

The only thing that's offensive right now is your attitude. You're choosing to be offensive, on purpose. So what are you like when you turn that off? Can you turn that off? If you can't I almost feel pity for you. Actually, I would pity you. That would be a terrible fate.
No. 840228 ID: 2d1231


Holy shit he is so HARD CORE.
No. 840263 ID: 3efda6

I'm pretty sure he just lied to an officer of the law (and blowjob karma). That's a punishable offence and if it isn't it should be.
No. 840386 ID: a128ec

check out his dick. For evidentiarty purposes.
No. 840445 ID: 15a025

Guess we'll have to find something to gross him out with in return.
No. 840487 ID: bfb318
File 150924590915.png - (97.78KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 302.png )

"You know what the worst part about pineapple is?"
>"It being on pizza?"
"The way you chew it! You eat like a barbarian! Nothing useful comes out of your mouth, huh?"
>"I'm more about eating, so no probably not."
"But you keep getting stuff out. If you keep it up, I'm going to have to gag you! Probably with my di -"

>With your dick
Suddenly I hear Frillsby's voice in my ear. Something about gagging a criminal with my dick being possibly the worst idea he's ever heard in his life.

>"You don't have to be here, you know. You can go to another room where you don't have to hear me chew."
"This is my place, you know!"
>"But it's my holding cell, apparently. What were you going to gag me with? Your d...?"

I start to think of an answer but I'm saved by a call from Yams. I don't want Jamie to hear Yams' voice so I just put my face down on the counter so I don't have to try and hold a phone.

>"Hi Gallsby?!"
"Hi Yams."
>"I uh I just called Jacksonville."
"Coo - wait it's been like half an hour! You just called?"
>"I had an adventure on the phone. It was awful, Gallsby..."
"There's no such thing as a good phone adventure so I believe you."
>"Right anyway they said do not let Jamie out of your sight! Apparently he's a big time criminal and a huge menace to society! He's done terrible crimes, Gallsby!"
"I know! I've been subjected to terrible things!"
>"Oh my gosh, Gallsby are you okay?"
"No! I can still hear the horror in my eardrums!"
"Look I have things under control so if Jacksonville coppers are on their way then that's fine! Just find Frillsby or something because I don't want to share air with this monster!"

The call ends. Maybe I should get him tied down still. He's a real villain, and his reign of offensiveness should be put to an end and can't go unpunished!

>"Gagged by your what?" Damn, Jamie really wants to know what I was about to say!
No. 840489 ID: 33d4be

D...irty socks.
No. 840490 ID: 3abd97

My dog. I will shove an angry dog in your mouth it will bite you if you try to talk.
No. 840492 ID: a363ac

dank weed.
No. 840493 ID: 830fb7

Answer with dildo sword.
No. 840495 ID: 3ce125

Dirty laundry.

Do you have any uh... perfectly normal rope lying around? Tie him to something sturdy.
No. 840509 ID: 91ee5f

Jamie is trying to get you to leave and the Jacksonville police said not to let him outta your sight! So no matter what don't leave him alone!

And where is Frillsby already?!
No. 840512 ID: efcc58

"My what?"
No. 840547 ID: 2e6b92

dank memes
No. 840549 ID: 927da8

Dakimakura (otherwise known as body pillow)
No. 840550 ID: da1652

No. 840605 ID: a128ec

with your dick. like you were going to say in the first place.

Frillsby thinks everything is a bad idea, but he's probably off hitting on the mayor.
No. 840608 ID: daa216

Tell him it was your dick. But now he will have to settle with being tied to a bed.
No. 842606 ID: 15a025

Your dishes.
No. 842988 ID: bfb318
File 151001479777.png - (101.21KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 303.png )

"I said I'd gag you with my dick!"
No. 842990 ID: bfb318
File 151001481478.png - (110.21KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 304.png )

At some point, elsewhere

In an ideal world, no one else will know that I was the statue, just standing in the middle of the plaza with my junk out.

So I need to find a set of clothes and a way to wash the rest of this copper paint off without getting seen. The obvious plan would be to go back to my place and sneak into my apartment, but Jamie is definitely one of the people who I don't want to discover the truth, and who knows what Gallsby is doing that would prevent easily sneaking in.
No. 842991 ID: a363ac

Go to the mayors house no one is there but her
No. 842992 ID: d1d0b8

I'm sure Jamie already knows, and you're overthinking this. If you really don't want to go back to the apartment, then you could always go to Yams' place. Khivat probably went there and told him everything anyways.
No. 842995 ID: 3ce125

Yeah go to the mayor. She already knows and will keep quiet about it.
No. 842997 ID: 015058

Dude everyone in town knew what was going on and went along with it just for the chance to feel you up.

I mean really Frillsby you should feel very proud. Half the town lined up for gods sake. If not for the creepy copper guy that mess would have gone all day.

Next thing you know some smartass would have been "can I fuck the statue for luck?" And the crowd would just cheer and who knows how many people would have fucked you?

Anyways just hose off in some suburban lawn and look for some loose fabric.
No. 843009 ID: 3abd97

What happened to Khivat? Did you co-statue just dump you?

Are you still copper-painted up, or did you get that off? Can you freeze and pretend to be a statue if caught?

>where go
Mayor's is probably the funniest.

Practical might be to go to that guy with the t-shirt shop for clothes. They still owe you after ruining that shirt from before, right?
No. 843016 ID: daa216

The mayor's house sounds like a good idea for the bathing. Seeing getting the clothes before wouldn't do much help.
No. 843017 ID: 91ee5f

So where did you leave your clothes before you got painted? After you wash off the paint, go there and retrieve your clothes.

But he only sells shirts! We need pants and a shirt!
No. 843056 ID: 3efda6

You can be the talk of the town if you get caught. People will say they saw that dumpster statue running in the streets in the middle of the night.
No. 843064 ID: 18eb99

Go hit on that mayor.
No. 843080 ID: 09bde3

Did we forget Frillsby is gay?
Frills go find the shady magic clothing store, they'll help you out.
No. 843085 ID: 33d4be

>Did we forget Frillsby is gay?

Well, what's something everyone knows about gays? That's right, they like girly things, like nice clothes and musicals and smelling good. So, what's the girliest thing in the world, by definition? That's right: girls. That's why liking girls is gay. Frillsby is gay, therefore he likes girls. As a pillar of the community he needs to display no shame in his gayness and, therefore, should proudly show his homosexuality by demonstrating his attraction to girly things, including and especially, as stated, girls. Frillsby therefore not only can but, conscious of and in accordance with his social duties, logically must hit on, flirt with, seduce and otherwise indulge his desires upon the mayor, and any other available females, as much as possible. Because that would be super gay.

No. 843092 ID: 91ee5f

That's an ugly stereotype! Not all gays like girly things!
No. 843101 ID: 35089a

some of them like leather and chest hair
No. 843111 ID: 18eb99

He might be Bisexual.
He might be AUTHORITY-sexual.
No. 843151 ID: 65dabf

You know what would be gayest? Walk home NAKED. Thats, like, super-mega-gay. And manly at the same time.
Also, remember that Gallsby is alone, with some criminal, alone, and gay, who flirts with everyone of his same sex. And gay. Really gay.
No. 843164 ID: c2051e

Frillsby specifically said he was gay. "Gay as heck", in fact, way back in the first thread when Gallsby was somehow unsure whether or not he was gay.
No. 843175 ID: daa216

Dont need to lewd the mayor. Just need her shower. Not like she moves around her house anyway.
No. 843215 ID: a7e1c3

Possibly the gayest course of action availible.
No. 843290 ID: bfb318
File 151009877197.png - (121.49KB , 800x800 , FrillsbyAndGallsby Update 305.png )

>Where is Khivat
She didn't care at all, and went home to Yams. That lady does not care about decency.

>Go to the shady clothing store
I bet Ante's shop is open, but I don't think he deals in pants? I don't remember. It was all about shirts.

But first, I need to shower this copper off, so I go to the Mayor's place. It's out of the way, so it's easy to sneak around the town to get to. All the lights are off. The mayor may be asleep. There must be a shower inside.

I'm not sure if I want to wake her up. I'm also not sure if I don't want to wake her up.
No. 843291 ID: 3abd97

>I bet Ante's shop is open, but I don't think he deals in pants? I don't remember. It was all about shirts.
You just need, you know, a big enough shirt. So it covers your lack of pants.

>I'm not sure if I want to wake her up. I'm also not sure if I don't want to wake her up.
Well okay what's worse- barging into her bedroom naked, or sneaking in and using her shower.
No. 843295 ID: a363ac

Where are your balls Frillsby!? just walk right up to that door and ask for a shower from the mayor let's be honest your going to need some help getting it all off.
No. 843329 ID: 3efda6

It's the town hall, what self-respecting town hall doesn't have a shower free for public use?

Just head in and take the shower. If you get caught by the mayor make sure to flirt with her as per >>843085
No. 843339 ID: 3ce125

Just walk in and use the shower. If she's asleep she won't really want to be woken up.
No. 843408 ID: daa216

Knock first? If no answer go in and shower. If she answers ask for the shower.
No. 843515 ID: 1a9fe2

You may need her assistance in removing all of the paint, so you should probably wake her up. You'll probably owe her an energy drink, but that seems fine.
No. 843539 ID: c88e6d

Fuck it, go into the mayor's house and use her shower. If she complains, politely point out she encouraged this situation in the first place. If she propositions you, go for it, she's probably pent up as all hell.
No. 844387 ID: 15a025

Go in and take a shower.
No. 851036 ID: bfb318
File 151302805715.png - (271.62KB , 800x800 , 306.png )

>What's worse- barging into her bedroom naked, or sneaking in and using her shower.
They're both bad news!

Anyways, even though town hall functions more as the mayor's personal mansion rather than an actual town hall, there's got to be some spare restrooms.

The front door isn't even locked! I walk indoors in order to find a public bathroom. I locate one on the other side of the mayor's bedroom, so I don't need to wake her up.

This bathroom has a typical bathroom stock of items and looks like a private bathroom, but the layer of coating on it tells me that it was simply left like this. I turn on the shower and start scrubbing away.
No. 851037 ID: bfb318
File 151302807885.png - (190.36KB , 800x800 , 307.png )

That covers the paint problem. Or rather, uncovers it? Now I'll just need clothes. Now that I put thought into it, Ante's got to have a shirt big enough to cover my bottom.
No. 851039 ID: bfb318
File 151302810147.png - (208.88KB , 800x800 , 308.png )

No. 851040 ID: a363ac

"Sorry! Don't stab me! I love you! I am too gay to die!"
No. 851049 ID: c2051e

Act as though nothing is wrong and all this is normal. Don't acknowledge any awkwardness or theoretical wrongdoing. Just get dressed and go after you say "Thanks" or something.
No. 851050 ID: 6780f5

"I think stabbing a cop is a crime."
No. 851054 ID: 810a1a

You were trying to stay hidden to get back to your place because... evidence. And this was the closest place so, uh... Sorry? Please don't stab me- I'll buy/make dinner as an apology.
No. 851060 ID: 1e7aa8

Slam the door closed. Nothing can possibly go wrong!
No. 851061 ID: 1e7aa8

Wait, no. Say "So I bet you are wondering how I got into this situation.." THEN close the door. If she asks anything or tries to open it tell her that this is now a hostage situation and your demands are for pants and free passage.
No. 851062 ID: 3abd97

...you know instead of stabbing intruders I would really prefer it if you called the police instead. I think I can guarantee a quick response time. Instantaneous, even.
No. 851064 ID: de6d84

Show dominance of the situation by staring them down.
No. 851069 ID: c88e6d

Close the shower. Turn it back on.
No. 851070 ID: 3abd97

Wait, no, I got it.

"Isn't knifing someone in the shower a little cliche?"
No. 851071 ID: 33cbe7

"Knife to see you too."
If that doesn't get you stabbed, I don't know what will.
No. 851072 ID: 214cda

"I hope you've only brought that knife to cut the tension~"
No. 851076 ID: 3ce125

No. 851084 ID: 91ee5f

Oh, the Mayor is still awake? I guess those questionable energy drinks we gave her are more powerful than we thought!
No. 851151 ID: e6994f

No. 851250 ID: bfb318
File 151310151657.png - (177.27KB , 800x800 , 309.png )

"Isn't knifing someone in the shower a little cliche?"
>"... it's not what it looks like."
"It looks like maybe the police should be called. I hear they have fast response times."
>"Maybe I should."
"Just remember that stabbing a cop is a crime."

I was not prepared to be naked in front of the mayor. I hope I'm not blushing. Maybe I should ignore the awkwardness, but the need to say literally anything is too much.

"It's knife to see you."

Damnit, I should've ignored the awkwardness. She continues looking at me. Then, she has a smirk.

>"Don't worry about the knife. I've only brought it to cut the tension."