>>855029
>The plus side is that this shirt is too big for me.
I think if you leave a note saying that you need pants, Ante will purposefully give you a shirt that's too big, so that the shirt will actually be able to cover your crotch.

In fact, if you never asked for pants, you probably would've gotten a normal sized shirt that didn't cover your crotch!

After you look at the shirt the Mayor got, it'll be time to head home. Hopefully Gallsby has been able to keep an eye on the prisoner!

>>855029
Alright you're ready to go.

Take a look at the mayor's shirt. Inform them they can get her more energy drinks if she wants. Then head to the home.

1/2 Frillsby 2018/01/01(Mon)10:35 No. 855249 ID: bfb318
File 151483172102.png - (120.57KB , 800x800 , 317.png )

I look at the mayor's shirt.

"I should be checking on Gallsby. I'll come back later to drop off some energy drinks and do those chores."
>"Think of them more like civic duties, for your resume's sake."

2/2 Frillsby 2018/01/01(Mon)10:36 No. 855250 ID: bfb318
File 151483177331.png - (170.80KB , 800x800 , 318.png )

The light's on at my apartment, so Gallsby's probably at least there. I open the door.

>"Hey, Frillsby!"

"You understand that now you need to scrub his dishes or else there'll be karma."

"God. Damn it Gallsby..."

Hey Gallsby!

So do you want some help with that crotch situation you have?

Well that right there is a karma issue.

Get under the guy and suck him off while Gallsby tells you about his day.

>garage sale
...I feel like Ante is calling the mayor a cheap whore.

>>855250
You didn't burn down the house in my absence, I'm impressed.

>>855256

I don't know if Gallsby getting a scrubbed dish from this guy, Frillsby scrubbing he guy's dish and then (presumably) Gallsby scrubbing Frillsby's dishes will work for karma. It seems to like things to go back and forth, not in a circle.

Though who knows maybe this is a reciprocation right here and the the balancing act has already happened?

We should ask Gallsby if he's remembering karma anyway.

How many times have you two had sex today?
Do you NOT have refractory periods?

Is that the prisoner? You probably shouldn't be doing that, that could mess up the case if it ever goes to trial.

...we do actually have trials, right?

Well Frillsby, you are the one who knows the rules, you should know if this is acceptable or not. Or if this is Karma related thing, i don't get that shit.
If it's good, you should join too, let out some stress.

Hoping we can get a better view of the dish scrubbing situation to see if its punishment or them enjoying their time here.

is it illegal to do the scrubbing dishes witha criminal? if so get mad at your partner. if not, bop his snoot as punishment then keep an eye on the criminal yourself.

>>855250
Gallsby what the fuck.

>>855250
"Gallsby, I'm ho-"

"Are you cheating on me?"

Frillsby 2018/01/05(Fri)15:22 No. 856423 ID: bfb318
File 151519453514.png - (154.54KB , 800x800 , 319.png )

"Gallsby."

"Gallsby what the fuck."
>"What?"
"Don't consort with criminals!"

Jamie snrks.

>"Frillsby give me a little bit of credit here! I wouldn't do any such thing!"
>"Yeah!" says Jamie. "I was just having a conversation with Gallsby!"
>"He said it'd be funny if you thought he was giving me a blowjob!

Gallsby turns around. He's wearing underwear.

>"It's basically the only true thing he's said all day! I had to give it positive reinforcement, Frillsby, by playing along!"
>"And that's why I'm giving him fake blowjobs!"
"What about the karma?!"
>"It's fake blowjobs!" Gallsby continues. "So the karma's gonna be fake, too!"
>"Karma?" Jamie asks.
>"Yeah! Hey Frillsby what karma do you think happens to monsters who put pineapples on pizza?"

>>856423
If blowjob karma is real, fake blowjobs are probably bad karma. So you two deserve what you're getting I guess.

>>"Yeah! Hey Frillsby what karma do you think happens to monsters who put pineapples on pizza?"
They get locked in jail for eating copper pipes that are supposed to be piping stuff.

Jail time, for sure.

>>856423
>"Yeah! Hey Frillsby what karma do you think happens to monsters who put pineapples on pizza?"
"You had pizza without me?! Gallsby, how could you?! Did you at least save me any or did both of you eat it all?!"

>>856435
And then when Gallsby tells Frillsby what kind of pizza it is, Frillsby will say, "Oh, never mind, I don't want any of that. But still! You had pizza without me! That's just plain rude!"

Something really horrible I would think. Like edrich horrors from beyond time and space hauling you to there realm for a eternity of tentacled molesting.

Why you ask?

>>856423
Fuck with Gallsby.
Says the punishment is a medal for putting Pineapple on Pizza, because you FUCKING LOVE IT! You'd have it all day, everyday but people are too judgmental and had to secret your love for so goddamn long.

Say, with the straightest face possible, that pineapple on pizza is fine, but the most delicious pizza you know is none pizza with left pineapple.

What are the chances that actually you just caught them before blowjob started?

>>856423
Well when you think about it Karmic Retribution isn't really about any sort of philosophy or justice system, it's just weird non-directional backlash. Still, just tuck the criminal into a blanket and use him as a mattress to prevent him from escaping. Also ask him his deal and try to figure out a way to get him to not cause so much property damage.

>>856453
>>856469

Yeah, actually. Especially since it's fake karma, so nothing happens if you bend fake rules, right?

It's a fake blowjob, so messing with him with such a response IS kinda like fake karma! Watch him stew in his pineapple-hating raaaaaage~

1/2 Frillsby 2018/01/06(Sat)11:45 No. 856593 ID: bfb318
File 151526795962.png - (117.80KB , 800x800 , 320.png )

"They probably get a medal. Pineapple on pizza is great."
>"Frillsby! I thought you were my friend!"
"My only friends are pineapples."
>"Nice." says Jamie. "I didn't even know there were degenerates that liked pineapples on pizza!"
>"At least they're not the kind of degenerates who put pineapple on pizza without even liking pineapple, Jamie!"
>"Worth it."
"I'm kidding, by the way."

Gallsby glares at me.

>"Don't you kid about stuff like that!"

2/2 Frillsby 2018/01/06(Sat)11:46 No. 856594 ID: bfb318
File 151526800612.png - (96.84KB , 800x800 , 321.png )

"The actual karmic answer is jail time."
>"But I'm already going to jail, aren't I?" asks Jamie.
"I guess karma's real."

It shouldn't be that long until someone comes by to pick up Jamie, but we've got time to kill.

>>856594
SMASH Jamie.

>>856594
Interrogate him about all the missing copper around town! Ask him why he felt the need dig up the roads and steal from the scrapyard?! Did he really need to cause destruction of property in order pig out like that?!

>>856595
No, only minor criminals get to play Smash Bros with us! Jamie is a major criminal and isn't allowed to enjoy playing Smash Bros with us!

Keep an eye on him. That means no video games with Gallsby.

...actually wait you could play smash with him and just gang up on him at all times. Fun for you and gallsby and you'll know if he takes his hands off the controller!

You could show off what Jamie is missing out on by following his terrible criminal lifestyle

Handcuff Jamie. Repeatedly. Not as anything Kinky. It's procedure! Really.

>>856594
Ask him why he tore up the road that people use instead of digging from the side.

The perfect punishment. Make him WATCH you both enjoy smash brothers.

Have Jamie scrub that dish in SMASH.

There's been an intense lack of smash brothers in recent history. This must be resolved immediately.

>>856611
Put handcuffs on his handcuffs.

>>856594
Have Gallsby teach you both how to play Smash with your feet.

Frillsby 2018/01/07(Sun)14:16 No. 856836 ID: bfb318
File 151536341384.png - (158.93KB , 900x800 , 322.png )

"Gallsby, let's play some smash."
>"Yeh!"
"I guess Jamie can play."
>"Yeah I'll play."

Gallsby loads Project M while I talk to Jamie. And handcuff his handcuffs.

>"Why'd you feel a need to dig up roads and steal from scrapyards?"
"I gotta eat, ya know, so I ate unused copper in the roads. The scrapyard wasn't me! I just heard about that crime so I came over to see if there was any more copper lying around I could get my mouth around. And I was right! Uh what is that?" Jamie points to the screen.
"Project M. It's a brawl mod to make it more like melee."
>"Huh? I thought you guys were cops! Unauthorized mods aren't legal! Besides, it's an old, antiquated game. Smash 4 is way better."

>>856836
Whatever buddy.
Look around for something to gag him with. Duct tape and a sock maybe?

>>856836
"You didn't have to dig straight down to get at the copper in the roads." Don't rise to his bait about Smash, that's what Gallsbys are for.

>unused
It wasn't unused. People bury pipes for them to do something, not on a lark.

>Unauthorized mods aren't legal!
We're not the FBI, we don't care about copyright.

>>856836
Is poor taste a crime? I think it should be.

>>856836
time to cuff his wrists to his ankles then

>>856840
Cuff Jamie's cuffs again for having poor taste in Smash.
Also, playing unauthorized mods isn't against the law! Only creating and distributing them. I think.

>>856836
Tell him that, in future, he needs to not break up roads. People use those roads, it's a big hassle and someone driving along it crash their car or fall in at night or something. It's not the copper scavenging that's a problem, it's the destruction of public property.

Anklecuff him to the closet door. "Okay, no smash for the retro hater"

>>856836

Ho ho! This smarmy flippant of a criminal is attempting to rustle your jimmies!

... let's rustle his.

1/2 Frillsby 2018/01/08(Mon)12:47 No. 857041 ID: bfb318
File 151544444876.png - (86.35KB , 800x800 , 323.png )

"We're not the agency of copyright. That's just for creation and distribution anyway. Probably."
>"Frillsby, are you just gonna let that 'party game' stuff slide?"
"I'm not taking the bait, Gallsby. Poor taste should be a crime, but it's not."y
>"What bait?" asks Jamie. "Is it poor taste to like a bigger roster, better graphics, a huge amount of music?"

Jamie makes a decent point about the music.

Jamie also gets his ankles tied to the closet door.

"Maybe the copper has been part of an abandoned line, but the destruction of the road is absolutely a huge crime. It could cause a big accident when a driver falls in."
>"What moron wouldn't notice a big hole in the road?" Jamie asks.
"A person who doesn't believe people like you exist to make holes in roads."

2/2 Frillsby 2018/01/08(Mon)12:47 No. 857042 ID: bfb318
File 151544445969.png - (160.11KB , 800x800 , 324.png )

We try playing some smash, but Jamie does his best to mess up the vibe. We ignore him for the most part, before we hear a car start pulling up outside the apartment.

Jamie starts trying to take his clothes off.

>>857042
He's trying to strip so he can transform without destroying his clothing. Sit on him so your antimagic stops him, and tell him if he breaks your apartment you'll break his face.

Frillsby go see who pulled up. Gallsby watch the cave troll.

>>857046
The cuffs have the same antimagic as Frillsby and Gallsby, he can't transform.

>>857047
Sounds good.

He probably has a friend who can control clothes to make them explode or possess their owners or something! He's taking off his clothes so he doesn't get caught in it too.

You two need to take your clothes off too, right now!!

He's trying to make it seem like you guys were doing Illegal Things to him, that villain's clothes need to stay on!

>>857055
This!

>>857042
Frillsby restrain the criminal so he can't accuse you of outright sexual harassment or something. Gallsby go see if it's finally time for the pickup. When they actually get into the room, call to confirm the guys picking him up are legit.

>>857058
Seconding this.
>>857055
And also this. Adjust his cuffs so they are behind his back so he can't get his shirt off before you remove the cuff off of his ankle.

Frillsby 2018/01/09(Tue)12:11 No. 857362 ID: bfb318
File 151552869704.png - (174.86KB , 800x800 , 325.png )

"Gallsby he's trying to take his clothes off to make it look like we're sexually harassing him."
>"What a criminal."
"We have to make sure his clothes are on."
>"Do we have to?"
"Don't sound disappointed! Just... go check on who pulled up."

I buckle up Jamie's pants and get his hands behind his back.

>"Hey, fellow officer of the law!" Gallsby shouts outside. Jamie starts looking a little more desperate.
>"H-hey, you know, I don't really want to go to jail, you know. C-could you put in a good word for me?"

>>857362
No. Tell him if he wants a plea bargain he's going to have to spill the beans about who robbed the warehouse.

If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. And get some better taste in videogames.

"I dunno, do you have any honest bad words about anyone else?"

"Why?"

Its nothing personal buddy. The copper eating would probably only get you a slap on the wrist.

But apparently you have been a bad bad boy and caused a mess elsewhere. So it's off to the court system you go.

As for good words you have not pissed us off to badly. So stop resisting and go along with this calmly and we will mention that in our report to the court.

Make sure they know to house him in something he cant eat when you trade him off.

Make sure whoever you're handing him off to, knows to not let him near anything made of copper.

>>857420
this

>C-could you put in a good word for me?
I don't know. Have you been demonstrating good behavior in our custody?

>>857362
We're the Legislative, Judicial, and Executive branches of this town. Better make real nice with us if you know, you DON'T want the strictest punishment possible...

I don't know what that makes the mayor, now that I think about it. MAYBE also Executive. But we do make the laws and execute them, as well as judge the cases.

I guess she's... the financial branch of the city government?

Frillsby 2018/01/10(Wed)11:46 No. 857617 ID: bfb318
File 151561360641.png - (187.86KB , 800x800 , 326.png )

"It's nothing personal, but good words are only given those who have good behavior in custody. It's not our good side you need to be on, it's all the other places you've made a mess of." At least I assume Jacksonville has a court. I don't know much about that place.
>"What are Jacksonville cops like?"

The cop knocks at the open door, taking a step inside.

>"Well first of all, in Jacksonville, we wear pants. This the guy, or did I just come at a bad time?"
"That's him. Make sure he doesn't get any copper."
>"Don't worry your little frills off, Frills. We've already got a whoooole separate document detailing how to contain just this guy. For a couple of pajama wearin', monster handed pair of cops, you guys did good catching him."

>Where does the Mayor fit into the legal system?
I have no idea.

>"So uh, is that it Frillsby? Nothing else?" asks Gallsby, who's still hanging just outside the door.
"Am I forgetting something?"
>"I dunno I'm asking you."

ask the cop if he would like to SMASH before he goes.

Ask if the law dog is interested in any variation or interpretation of smash

Ask the law dog if he wants to RAW dog it.

>>857617
>"Am I forgetting something?"
>"I dunno I'm asking you."
Jamie mentioned that there was someone else in town that steals copper.

Ask the cop if he knows of anyone else that steals copper?

>>857619
>>857620
>>857622
No to all of these. We shouldn't interfere with this guy's job.

Plus, any distractions just gives Jamie more chances to escape. We don't want to earn a reputation as the cops that fucked up and let a big time criminal escape!

>>857617
Well you could verify that this is a real cop.

>>857626
If he's fake, we could just give him a friendly handshake and he'll lose his disguise. But if he's not using magic, we'd have to think of something else.

We could go and check if he's got a real police car and maybe touch it to verify it's not disguised also.

Then again, we might just be overly paranoid about this.

Should we tell him about the magic karma?

Ask the lawman if he knows any associates of this perp or anyone else who might also have stolen a load of copper.

>"Am I forgetting something?"
Jamie did deny stealing or eating the copper from the junk yard didn't he? Is he only ate the pipes we still have another criminal to find and goods to collect.

Might wanna give Jamie a last chance to see if there's anything he can say to help with ongoing investigations that might be taken into consideration before he's hauled away.

>>857626
I mean he's calling Frillsby "Frills" so it seems like they know each other already but if that's not the case Frillsby could check his badge and transfer documents.

>>857617

His shirt looks a size too small. Tell him that Ante has some sales on good shirts; probably has one in his size, too.

>>857676
His shirt isnt too small, he's just got his sleeves rolled up.

Do this properly.

Get his id and badge number and check his paperwork. Then sign off on the prisoner transfer in official fashion.

No paperwork no transfer. Also make sure to touch the cop at least once to check for illusions or shape shifting that would be disrupted by your anti magic. (him avoiding your touch is possibly bad news)

If he gives you any crap insist that while you might be a small town cop you still take your job seriously and are not planning on handing this guy over to one of his shape shifting friends.

We should ask them if they have any leads on the other copper theft that Jamie claimed they didnt do. Then of course offer to show them the bonus of going pantless

Ask for his name and ID. This could be a ruse to get Jamie out of here.

If he checks out alright, see if he's got any leads on the other thief?

Frillsby 2018/01/15(Mon)15:08 No. 858637 ID: bfb318
File 151605773812.png - (160.09KB , 800x800 , 327.png )

"Jamie did mention there was someone else in town stealing copper. I doubt the law dog from Jacksonville would know much of it."
>"Fer fuck's... I'm not a dog. Quit assuming I'm a dog."
"You look like a dog."
>"And you look like a watermelon."

Gallsby's eyes light up.

>"He is a watermelon! He even tastes like one!"
>"Then I guess you smartasses from Dorb can be judged by your covers, but up in Jacksonville, things are a bit more complicated. Anyway, we don't know about any copper thieves down here. We'll ask about it in interrogation and let you know if we find out anything."
>"Wanna smash though?" asks Gallsby.
>"We also do our jobs up in Jacksonville, not whatever you kids are calling 'smash' these days."
"Then let me do cop things and let me check your ID and badge just to avoid any shapeshifting shenanigans."
>"Oh yeah, you guys got one of those, huh." He hands his stuff to me, and pats my hand to get my anti-magic. Nothing's wrong here.
"Yeah. Jamie, if you want a good word, you'll talk about your accomplice."
>"Snitches get bitches." he says. "Wait, uh... stitches. They get stitches, that's the thing I don't want."
>"Snitches get a break, so you'll just get broke." says the cop whose name I now remember as Baxton.

>Tell Baxton that his shirt is too small
All my room to talk about misfitting shirts is taken up by my current shirt.

I sign the paperwork and supply another pair of handcuffs that should last long enough for them to get Jamie put away. Baxton starts to take him.

>"Quit drooling, you delinquent."
>"Then gimme some copper, real high quality copper! I don't drool at all after a good meal!"

Don't feed him copper it might give him super powers or something.

Box up the leftover pineapple pizza and send it with him.

>>858637
You can't eat copper, you still have the anti-magic handcuffs on, you're just going to hurt yourself trying.

Be advised the prisoner, without antimagic, will literally eat metal and is strong enough to rip up highways to do so.

How Braxton and his peers feed Jamie and keep him locked up is officially another jurisdiction's problem.

>>858637
Buh bye now left pineapple eating mother fucker

>>858642
Yeah, fucking heretic.

>>858637
Give him the pizza.

>>858637
"You're not allowed to have copper! You'll just have to enjoy a no copper diet while you're in jail!"

Resist strong urge to make a "You can have a mouthful of this copper before you go" joke

>>858646
>>858649

There are only pineapples on pizza where he's going.

1/2 Frillsby 2018/01/16(Tue)15:45 No. 858856 ID: bfb318
File 151614632410.png - (152.97KB , 800x800 , 328.png )

I box up the remaining pineapple pizza.

"Get this travesty out of my house. It's all pineapple pizza where you're going anyway."
>"Eh?" Baxton says. "If you don't want it, give it to me. I love pineapple."

Now Jamie's eyes light up.

>"I knew it! I knew some - "
>"Shut your idiot mouth." Baxton takes him away.

2/2 Frillsby 2018/01/16(Tue)15:45 No. 858857 ID: bfb318
File 151614633556.png - (175.40KB , 1200x800 , 329.png )

There's probably a couple things and people to check in on later, but exhaustion calls.

End Chapter 5