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Dark Fire Lily
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>>825962
No apparent effect, apart from the deck slipping out of his hands like a wet bar of soap and being snatched up by Nistamatsin.
>>825978
First card has an effect which will activate automatically at a later time.
Second one... okay, this is tricky. Is Nistamatsin's phobia of asymmetry a curable mental illness, or is it an innate part of the nature of that type of demon and/or the binding? In the former case, it's cured. Nistamatsin becomes completely sane, and has a drastic change of personality, equivalent to switching to an opposed alignment. In the latter case, if Nistamatsin is already sane, choose between http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/l/life-of-crime or http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/i/insanity
Third card does something weird to the remaining supply of brass balm.
Fourth card, semi-random magic item. Has to be something utilitarian rather than directly military, but that can include vehicles. What do you want? The more narrowly you specify, the less powerful it's going to be.
Fifth card, a life-size statue of Nistamatsin, naked and in an embarrassing pose, appears. It seems to be solid silver, and silver is roughly ten and a half times as dense as flesh, so you'll all be filthy rich if you can figure out a way to transport any significant portion of the metal. Conceivably it might be worth more as an intact objet d'art, but given that Nistamatsin isn't exactly, ah, conventionally attractive, it might be tricky to find a buyer with the right tastes.
Sixth card is a one-time use ability which can be activated at a later point. I'll tell you what it does if you survive the rest of this.
Seventh card is that first thing again. They stack, but won't both go off at once.
Eighth card provides a magic weapon. Again, semi-random, specifying more conditions squelches overall power.
Ninth card destroys all of Nistamatsin's mundane equipment (apart from the beheaded statuette) and annuls the ancient marriage.
Tenth card offers a choice: change your own nature by becoming immune to one thing and vulnerable to something else, with a sort of symmetry between them (details negotiable), or draw three more cards and ignore the least desirable among the three results?
Eleventh card's effect can't resolve until the details of that second one are sorted out.
For the twelfth and thirteenth, combined, roll 2d6 and I'll tell you what the number means after the rest of this preposterous metaphysical shitstorm is over.
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