All things considered he did get a vampire in his basement which allowed you to kill him, so it went well overall. Try calmly asking him if there are any other vampires in the area he knows about.

We're missing 10 cool points

We aren't in this for the gold, we're here to kill vampires. It'll take more than a paltry 300 gold for you to escape here with your life. Now tell us everything you know about the vampires in this area.

We should also take this opportunity to cross reference our knowledge of vampire weaknesses and powers with his.

Take gold.

Get information about where he found the vampire, and how he learned of it.

This is your mansion now. He can't bribe you with money he no longer has.

Two more offers, then you crucify him.

PM 2016/01/20(Wed)21:50 No. 696111 ID: bb0cf4
File 145335541339.png - (621.96KB , 774x554 , Screen Shot 2016-01-21 at 12_49_47 AM.png )

>>695929
You take the 300 gold from him, but you're not satisfied. You want to know everything he knows about vampires and his vampire party, how he found that one vampire, just everything he can say. Bagül spits out a lot of nonsense, but here's a list of things you know for certain are true.

1. Vampires are high-tier spooks, and were once one of the greatest threats to this country
2. Vampires are weak to attacks to the heart, garlic (they're just really allergic to the stuff), and holy powers, but can still put up a good fight even if you have or do all these things.
3. The sun is their greatest nemesis, and it will destroy most vampires if they are caught by surprise by it. If properly prepared though, they can fight in the sunlight, though they will be significantly weaker
4. Vampires have beast-forms, and more human-like forms for espionage

You learn that party wise, he was going to have his butler invite all the vampires he could find to the party. Though it's hard to just find and talk to a vampire in this country, in the enemy country, where the princess has been captured, they are more prominent and easy to find. Bagül suspects though that his butler wasn't actually inviting any vampires over, in hindsight.

When it comes to the vampire he captured, that was just dumb luck. To better get into the role of a vampire, Bagül had his butler craft a magical series of runs that would create fog around his house. The vampire saw this fog while trying to escape the sun and rushed to it to hide, and from there the rest is history.

>>696111
So Bagül's house acre is basically one big vampire deathtrap?

Oh hell yes you so need to keep this mansion! You could lure the vampires inside, wait until dawn in a panic room, and then blow up the mansion and de-activate the fog machines!

Or just keep the mansion and lure unsuspecting vampires into the general vicinity, picking them off one at a time with the sun.

Two more chances to live, Bagül. Start yappin'.

>>696111
there any way we could revive the butler? he seemed like a cool guy, didn't deserve that.

>>696125
Yeah I feel kind of bad for him.

>>696125
>>696130
Yes, we should absolutely resort to the dark art of necromancy for some guy we barely knew.

PM 2016/01/21(Thu)04:23 No. 696138 ID: bb0cf4
File 145337903105.png - (26.90KB , 209x294 , tumblr_m3zqlbCqTX1r413h3o1_250.png )

You still want more out of Bagül, and press him to keep talking.

"What more do you want?! You want my carriage? I mean you'll need to feed the horses, but you can take it if you want! Is it info? I've already told you everything I know!"

Out of the blue, you ask if there would be any way to resurrect the butler. Bagül, and the rest of your party members, look at you confused.

"What like...summoning his ghost?" asks Bagül, "or bringing him fully to life? Because unless you're a god, the only way you're going to get him back is by turning him into an undead spook."

>>696138
One more offer.

You want the deed to the mansion. And more.

Suggestion 2016/01/21(Thu)11:10 No. 696176 ID: c84423

>>696152
lets not extort him of his fortune guys, thats a cock move.
just tell him you'll be back if any more vampires show up so he isnt stupid like this again.

PM 2016/01/21(Thu)15:23 No. 696238 ID: bb0cf4
File 145341861469.png - (26.90KB , 209x294 , 145269747833.png )

>>696138
You're stuck between being a good person and letting him go, or getting some sweet justice and extorting him just a little more. After a mental coin flip, you decide that you want to get just a little more out of him.

"Fine, fine, you can have the mansion! Just let me go! Great Spook Lords above, this is just idiotic!"

It's not like the mansion is worth much in this state anyway, but if he isn't living there anymore I guess, where is he going to go?

>>696238
OUT OF OFFERS.

HE WILL SIGNAL THE VAMPIRES TO WAR IF HE IS ALLOWED TO LIVE. THOUSANDS OF VILLAGERS MAY DIE IF THEY CONVERGE ON YOUR POSITION.

CRUCIFY HIM.

>Great Spook Lords above
THE LORDS ABOVE ARE SPOOKS?!

That's it, they'll have to go. Vampire-God Killer Quest.

>psyche about all that taking his stuf stuff. We aren’ *that* evil. take him to prison instead for killing his servants and aiding vampires.

>>696353
This.

>>696353
YES WE ARE AND NO WE'RE NOT LETTING HIM OFF EASY.

This is an entire mansion we're talking about. Do you want him to keep his wealth so that he can bribe the local police force to let him out and then hire new servants to murder for his hypothetical and nonexistent Spook Party?

PM 2016/01/22(Fri)07:05 No. 696401 ID: acc3d2
File 145347515428.jpg - (3.67MB , 3300x2552 , 87609409.jpg )

>>696238
Look's like it's time to kill this fucker!

...wait...on second thought, maybe you're getting a little carried away here. Your party watches you, waiting to see what you'll do next. Bagül closes his eyes, waiting for the beating of his life. You tell Bagül that instead of stealing all of his stuff, you are going to keep Bagül as a prisoner so he can't try any of this tricky business again. Bagül is at first confused, and doesn't seem to understand how serious you are. You send your party off of your body to go looking for rope, and when they finally return with some and get back to their places on your body, you bind Bagül and carefully place him at the very top of your head, like a hat.

You now have a Bagül equipped.

"This isn't fair how come I need to share my spot with him?" asks Janet as she clings to the back of your head. "He's touching my beard and it feels really nice if I covered him with razors and then just rubbed myself all over him I would be shaved so hard you wouldn't even believe it, make that his new life now."

Bagül is flabbergasted at this turn of events.

"What are you going to do with me as your prisoner?! I'm not going to be any use to you, I can't even fight!"

You ignore that question to think about what your next move will be. You do have the bag of blood berries, and that wizard back in Snickersberg probably still wants them. There's also all that weird clown business going around you might want to look into. Or maybe you'll just use Bagül's horses and travel to another town on your epic quest to grind cool points like a maniac until you're able to defeat Phillip Dollarfield!

>>696401
... We could send Bagül to the circus. That would shut him up.

But I think we should dismantle the circus. Maybe we could find a surveillance spell and send him in with more wires than a barbed fence?

Let's turn in those blood berries before they go stale.

>>696401
Why not give him to the king. Say that the noble was part of the conspiracy against Philip Dollarfield.

>>696357
Oh Kome, I thought you had lost your edge.

>>696401
Isn’t there someting like Guards or Police in the city? Bring Bagül there.

Also take some gold as recompense for saving him from assisted suicide by vampire.

PM 2016/01/23(Sat)09:50 No. 696620 ID: e0e3fe
File 145357140122.jpg - (101.47KB , 736x546 , 144938975013.jpg )

>>696401
You march out of the mansion, the sun still high in the sky, and go back to the walls of Snickersberg. You would collect some of that vampire ash to show to the townspeople and get some praise, if only you had your vampire hunting license. Back in town, now you must decide what to do. Shall you take Bagül to the guards? Sell him to the circus? Ignore him for now and give those blood berries to the wizard? Sit on the ground and do absolutely nothing?

>>696620
We don't need a ninja-ghost-vampire on our asses... fine, let's throw Bagül in jail.

Check the notice board for more quests.

Then turn in those bloodberries and get paid in magic powers.

1/2 PM 2016/01/24(Sun)10:15 No. 696794 ID: e0e3fe
File 145365933239.jpg - (20.45KB , 300x400 , 370830-medieval-prison-looking-out-through-bars.jpg )

>>696620
You decide that keeping Bagül around as a hat isn't going to work out, and the best thing to do is to bring Bagül to the local dungeon. You approach the gate of the dungeon, where two heavily armored guards stand.

"Oi, what's this going on here?" says one of the guards.

You explain to them that Bagül is a vampire enthusiast who allowed an outrageous number of people to get killed to feed a captured vampire. True, you never did go into the basement to confirm it, but you're pretty sure a lot of people died.

"Yeah, it's so true," says Janet, "I saw so many dead bodies and they were so spooky I had to cry so hard that I cut out my own eyeballs I'm basically blind now these eyes are fake my beard is real though does it make you hot under the collar?"

"Um...yeah, what Janet said!" yells Suzy.

"Dudes, trust us here. Brothers, we wouldn't lie. You know me, I'm your good pal Ryan Rockstone."

Bagül simply tries to brush off the heckling.

The guards look at each other, and then back to you. They seem to be judging you to determine how truthful your comments really are.

"Oi...alright, we'll look into it. Hand the guy over."

Bagül is taken off your head and thrown into one of the cells. The guards say they will send some people over to investigate the mansion in the woods, and thank you for your service to the community.

2/2 PM 2016/01/24(Sun)10:22 No. 696795 ID: e0e3fe
File 145365974842.jpg - (551.27KB , 1280x967 , the_old_notice_board__by_blinkingzzz-d1uzrz7.jpg )

>>696794
With Bagül off your hands, you decide to investigate the notice board and see if there's any new quests before giving the wizard those bloodberries.

1. BEHOLD! I require Blood Berries for my magical potions, but I do not wish to go out and get them myself. I will give a free magic lesson to anyone who can get me a bushel of Blood Berries!
-Chumbles the Wise

2. For a good time, come by the hole in the wall at midnight.
-XOXO Cindy

3. ATTENTION PEOPLE OF SNICKERSBERG! YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATED AND LIED TO! PHILIP DOLLARFIELD WILL NOT SAVE THE PRINCESS, AND HE IS NOT THE HERO YOU THINK HE IS! COME TO COASTBERG FOR THE FIRST MEETING OF THE ANTI-DOLLARFIELD CLUB!

>>696794
Crap. You were breaking and entering, so Bagül has a shot at bribing the jury to let him go.

>>696795
Yeah, this Anti-Dollarfield rally seems like a scam. Plus, you don't want to get identified by the kingdom as anti-government.

Turn in the blood berries and have Janet learn a bomb spell. Then blow up the local well.

>>696795
Is there any information on where this wizard dude is? Otherwise asks around where he lives.

Let's go cash in our blood berries.

Can we quickly ask our party their ages and how educated they are. I would assume dale is somewhere between the age of 27-32 considering his background.

PM 2016/01/25(Mon)17:54 No. 697140 ID: ca3a6a
File 145377326125.png - (2.71KB , 220x220 , pixel_wizard_by_nself-d5kwow8.png )

>>696795
Well, fuck those other notices, it's time to turn in those berries and learn some magic. You head off to a blue tower in town with a sign that says Chumbles The Wise: Wizard at Law and Associates and enter it. An old man brimming with the scent of magic stands before you. This magic smells a lot like soap.

AWW! I knew the Blood Berries would be coming soon- oh no, you're two weirdos, a disgrace, and a nerd. Lame.

You explain that you've brought in the blood berries he wanted, and want a magical lesson from him. He takes the blood berries out of your hands and inspects them.

"Uuuuggggghhh, fiiiiiiiine. Let me show you what I can teach. My magic's all based on coolness though, and let's face it, none of you are that cool. You sure you don't want to learn lame people magic, what do they call that now? Oh yes, druid magic. You sure you don't want to learn some of that?"

You tell him you're positive you want a spell taught by him. Chumbles sighs and pulls out a list of what he can teach your party members right now. It seems that each spell requires that the party member meets a minimum level of coolness to use it.

>Dazzle Sparks: Draw the enemies attention: 10 CP.
>Shameful Stench: Makes enemies avoid you or someone else: 20 CP.
>Phantom Touch: Makes the enemy feel awkward and off guard: 30 CP.
>Awful Familiar: Creates a floating mouth that bites and won't shut up, not the best fighter but the enemy will want to kill it the most: 40 CP.

>>697140
Get one of each spell:
Ryan: Awful Familiar
Dale: Phantom Touch
Suzy: Shameful Stench
Janet: Dazzle Sparks

No I did not mix up the last two.

>>697142
Sounds like a good setup to me. So my votes what they said.

PM 2016/01/26(Tue)06:24 No. 697294 ID: ca3a6a
File 145381827962.png - (2.71KB , 220x220 , pixel_wizard_by_nself-d5kwow8.png )

>>697140
You tell him the spells you want taught and who you want each spell taught to, but Chumbles does not look pleased.

"I said I would give a free magic lesson, not magic lessons. One magic lesson, that's it. If you want more, you're going to have to either buy them, or do some favors for me. Pick one person and one spell you want them to learn."

>>697294
FINE.

Ryan, Awful Familiar.

>>697316
Seconding kome on this one

>>697316
this

After this let's head to the glory hole wander into the obvious trap see what this "good time" thing is about.

>>697316
I third this. After that we should go enjoy that "good time" thing or whatever that was.

PM 2016/01/26(Tue)14:38 No. 697422 ID: 42546f
File 145384788816.jpg - (32.33KB , 620x387 , beckett_2964752b.jpg )

>>697294
You tell Chumbles to teach Ryan the awful familiar spell. "Dude," says Ryan, "this'll be great. I'm gonna have a little mouth buddy!"

"Come with me, nerd, this is going to take awhile."

---

After many hours of what sounds like tongues and yelling, Ryan has learned Awful Familiar. To celebrate, Ryan casts the spell, and a large floating mouth the size of your head appears by his side.

"WOWY ZOWY WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE I'M SURE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE GREAT FRIENDS! HEY CAN WE GO TO THE THEATER LATER? I LOVE THE THEATER! PEOPLE SAY I CHEW TOO LOUD BUT THEY GOTTA LEARN HOW TO LIVE A LITTLE! HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE THEATER? THEY SAY IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR SOUL-"

Ryan gets rid of the familiar. You thank Chumbles for his services and leave with the party. The next step of your quest is to investigate the strange, semi-sticky looking hole in the Snickersberg wall. You wait by it, but there are still a couple of hours before midnight. While waiting, you doze off.

---

You are now dreaming.
There are many religions in this land. Some people, mainly nefarious cultists and people of ill-repute, believe in the Great Spook Lords. Others, like the priests and priestesses who combat spooks with holy powers, believe in the Sensational Soul Spirits. Others, like the wizards and witches who study the art of coolness, believe in the One True God, Coolio. There are those who simply do not know what to believe, and those who do not believe in any of them.

What do you believe?

You seem like a worshiper of Coolio to me.

>>697422
You believe in Vlad the Impaler, known for impaling any vampires he sees. Some detractors claim he is a vampire himself, but you know that to be a blasphemous lie!

you worship only the one true god, Kermit defrog, a man so charismatic and good that he managed to uplift himself to godhood through his altruism.

>>697422
You believe in a thing called love; just listen to the rhythm of your heart.

The power in mens' souls is the greatest power of all! the willpower of humanity is greater than any god! Something something ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWA!

>>697586
You know what... I second this in the hopes for awesome anime boosts in our biggest time of need.

PM 2016/01/27(Wed)15:44 No. 697625 ID: 00e3f2
File 145393825740.jpg - (53.76KB , 583x575 , il_fullxfull_382910177_6zq5_original.jpg )

>>697422
You don't need to believe in anything other than yourself, your friends, and the will of the human spirit! No spook, fiend, or god can stop you when you've got the power of humanity's soul by your side! Your steak is the steak that will pierce the Heavens!

...so whenever someone asks you about your faith and you don't feel like getting into details, you just say you believe in the Sensational Soul Spirits, the souls of sentient beings who go to the spirit world and assist all life. Your values are a little more on the ground then in the clouds, but whatever.

---

You wake up. On the other side of the hole, you hear a quiet whisper.

"Is like, someone there?"

*sweating loudly* ...yes

Ask who's asking.

Stick your Awful Familiar near the glory hole and get to cover.

Wow, what a glorious hole, being able to talk like that. Greet the strange hole.

>>697625
>"Is like, someone there?"
"I’m not sure, I’ll check."

PM 2016/01/28(Thu)05:52 No. 697802 ID: acc3d2
File 145398917725.jpg - (308.75KB , 491x700 , tumblr_m1bki5XBwu1rso5roo1_500.jpg )

>>697625
You make your presence known to the voice on the other side of the wall by greeting them, signaling the rest of your party to stay quiet for now.

"Like, cool. Now just like, do what comes naturally, I don't have all night."

You're not exactly sure what to do next. It's not like you can just "use" the hole, there are children present. You decide to get creative, and signal Ryan to cast his Awful Familiar spell. Ryan does so, and that massive mouth appears.

"WOWY ZOWY WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE! WHAT'S THIS WE HAVE HERE, A GLORY HOLE? I HOPE I FIT IN, I'M PRETTY BIG!"
"What? Who is...just someone use the hole!" yells the voice from the other side.
"WILL DO!"

The familiar floats over to the hole in the wall, and sticks its tongue through it. The familiar's tongue seems to be tugged by whoever's on the other side of the wall. You hear a wet rubbing noise before the familiar is let go, and you see that there is a bright green goo on the familiar's tongue.

"WOWY ZOWY, I'M TRIPPING BALLS!HOW DO I EVEN SEE I DON'T HAVE ANY EYES!DO YOU FEEL ALL THESE EYEBALLS IN MY MOUTH?!THEY'RE LIKE PEELED GRAPES!"

The familiar floats sloppily in the air, slamming against the wall occasionally. You hear footsteps moving away from the other side of the wall. The person who seems to have drugged the familiar is running away.

Hey! Cut it out.

>>697802
AFTER THEM!

Also, dismiss familiar.

PM 2016/01/29(Fri)12:27 No. 698078 ID: e0e3fe
File 145409924657.png - (3.77KB , 204x205 , nature_girl___lineless_pixel_by_anthaid_kid-d9gkn7.png )

>>697802
The familiar is dismissed, and you try to catch whoever this person is by going through the front gates, and then around the wall. The perpetrator on the other side of the hole at first is nowhere to be found, however you do notice a trail of bright green ooze heading off into the trees. You follow the ooze until through the trees you see a girl with long green hair and a jar emitting the neon green glow of that same slime. She notices you gaining up on her and keeps running.

"Like, just leave me alone!"

Keep chasing her, when she appears tired ask her why she is running from us.

>>698078
"Why!?"
I think that conveys our feelings adequately.

"If you don't stop I'll slurp up all your delicious lime jello when I do catch you!"

>>698078
If you use vine whip, she might use that drug to turn your foliage against you...

Summon Awful Familiar and use vine whip to sling him onto the girl's face.

>>698078
Vine whip her feet to trip her.
Then recruit her.

>>698112
Where the frak are we gonna carry her? I also just realized that all of our party members are pretty much kids. We need a responsible adult to help carry potential recruits.

>>698148
Two psychopathic man-children and two hyperactive psycho-girls. I dunno if your statement is valid.

Let's just capture her already.

If he can without running out of breath, get Ryan to sing the speedy song so you catch up faster.

PM 2016/01/30(Sat)08:54 No. 698252 ID: e0e3fe
File 145417288048.png - (3.77KB , 204x205 , nature_girl___lineless_pixel_by_anthaid_kid-d9gkn7.png )

You're not going to let her get away that easily! You cast vine whip, and a vine bursts from the ground and wraps itself around the mystery girl's legs. Her eyes widen at the sight of the vine before it drags her to the ground. You and the rest of the party surround her to make sure she doesn't get away.

"Like, I'm guessing you learned that vine spell from Don...I was just, like, uh, having fun, you know? Hehehe...please don't tell him what I'm doing."

>>698252
"How is drugging strangers fun? Also, can I get in on it?"

>>698252
Why are you drugging everyone who sticks their stick into that glory hole?

It didn't look like your familiar was damaged in any way, just really tripping eyeballs, so I don't think you should be too hard on her.
Ask her why she's drugging people though, and what that stuff even is.

>>698148
Yes, which is why we should recruit this irresponsible adult to carry more party members.

>>698252
"You want to have fun by randomly drugging people? Great, you're perfect for our team."

PM 2016/01/30(Sat)18:35 No. 698392 ID: e0e3fe
File 145420775604.jpg - (79.04KB , 800x534 , neon_slime_by_5ev-d790rxp.jpg )

>>698252
You ask the girl why she's drugging people for a glory hole.

"Like, I'm not just drugging people for fun. This is like, research. I'm experimenting, learning more about the druid arts. I think that's fun."

You ask her what this green neon stuff is.

"It's sap from the rave tree. It, like, doesn't grow here a lot, but I...found...some of the seeds and I wanted to see what its sap does. So I thought, you know, the glory hole would be a good way to test things out. Most people don't like hanging out with druids, so I thought, they don't need to see me on the other side, they get touched down there, and I can see what happens when the sap gets on skin...guess it's hallucinogenic."

Well, as a responsible authority figure we should probably still tell Don, but I don't see too much wrong with it.

>>698392
You just slathered an unknown biological substance on random dicks. That's not very nice, young lady.

Whatever. Let's go to Don, he might take you in.

Invite her to join your party.

>>698392
She does SCIENCE! by slathering hallucinogens on dicks. Yea, we need her in the party.

Recruit her!

>>698392
Tell her that is awesome and all (really, it is), but she should probably mention that sort of stuff to the people she is applying it to beforehand. Consent and all that.

PM 2016/01/31(Sun)09:01 No. 698506 ID: e0e3fe
File 145425966884.jpg - (371.54KB , 716x900 , cerebral-dysfunction-callie-fink.jpg )

>>698392
You know what? You're going to be nice to this girl. You see
something you like in her. In fact, she may very well be a potential recruit. You tell the girl to calm down, and that you're actually impressed by her scientific pursuits.

"Like...thanks?"

You then tell her that you will need to tell Don about this, and she should be telling others about her plans before rubbing mysterious goo on their bodies, but if she wants to maybe joi- SUDDENLY, RAVE TREE SAP RIGHT IN THE FACE.

The girl hurls the sap from her jar at all of you, pulls herself away from the vines on her legs, and then runs for it.

"Like, sorry, but that doesn't sound cool!"

You start to feel funny.
Why are all your teeth talking to you? Should you listen to what they have to say?
Janet's beard is stretching to infinity. You gotta help her trim it with your hands, which are now razors.
Suzy's turning into a giant! Maybe we should hug her legs so she'll shrink.
Ryan's a blood banana now. You must eat him, the giant nose demands it.

>>698503
We could send Janet and Ryan after her, or we could chill here for a while, then tell Don about this later.

>>698506
Send your minions to capture her. Then enjoy the trip.

Send the party after her unless she gets to the woods. Then capture a centauress with your Vine Whip. Proceed to rant at her.

We must eat Ryan as a sacrifice to our new giant nose god.

PM 2016/01/31(Sun)16:43 No. 698644 ID: e0e3fe
File 145428739044.jpg - (1.27MB , 1000x750 , farewell-color.jpg )

>>698506
You speak a fish language now, but you are able to tell the rest of your party to go after the girl. Janet has already turned into a bird and flown off, Suzy has embraced her rightful place on the throne of the snail kingdom, and Ryan needs to go on a vision quest.
You try to sit down and wait this out, but suddenly, a Spook appears! He's trying to give you financial advice, but you forgot your checkbook and now you're in your underwear.

Don't listen to the spook, he just wants your money and credit info.

Offer the spook your shoes.

Attempt to say "don't come any closer" but otherwise don't do anything, you'll only hurt yourself.

Knock the spook unconscious. Do not kill anyone while you're drugged, you could murder an innocent in reality.

... But yeah, Vine Whip + Headbutt. Make them squeal and pass out from the pain.

PM 2016/02/03(Wed)12:52 No. 698732 ID: 54665d
File 145453273160.jpg - (12.54KB , 200x200 , 144953029193s.jpg )

>>698644
No, no, you say! You tell the spook to stay back, as you don't want him to steal your identity, but it's too late, you are already a lawyer and the case has been settled! You scream into the night!

---

When you finally come to, the sun is beating down your face. The rest of your party is by your side, each one of them quiet, trying to remember what happened last night. The fact that you weren't actually attacked by a spook while you were all drugged is incredibly lucky. But you may not be out of danger just yet, as you hear footsteps approaching you. You pull yourself to your feet just as the intruder comes forward.

"Hey guys. It's me, Don the Druid, remember? I saw some bright green go near here that looked a little bit like rave tree sap, and decided to check it out...seriously though, did you steal my rave tree seeds? Because my seeds are missing, and this looks pretty suspicious from where I'm standing.”

test post

Tell him about the girl who drugged you in the well with that stuff.

Seems like the only good solution is to rat out the girl. She seemed to know Don, so maybe he'll go easy on her.

another quick test, pay no attention.

PM 2016/02/03(Wed)21:08 No. 698851 ID: 54665d
File 145456251634.jpg - (12.54KB , 200x200 , 144953029193s.jpg )

>>698732
You tell Don exactly what happened, no lies and or held info.

"...wait...green haired girl...green haired girl...damn. I know who that is. Cindy, right? She's an outcast from Coastberg. I found her trying to survive out in the woods on her own, and offered to take her in as a student. It didn't last long though, she has the trait that goes directly against my teachings; a lust for coolness. I tried to tell her that she didn't need to be cool, and that my teachings weren't meant for coolness, but she didn't listen. She ran off sometime later. She must have stolen my seeds to try teaching herself the druidic arts on her own. That could be...pretty bad."

"Well, we went up a few coolness levels ourselves.

Busy week. Had to raid a mass murderer's den.

... Can Janet and Suzy learn ONE spell each if we help you with Cindy? Please?"

PM 2016/02/04(Thu)11:13 No. 698954 ID: d31120
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>>698851
You briefly explain some of your exploits to Don since you last me, such as visiting a goblin village, Janet getting lycanthropy, recruiting Ryan (who "digs Don's hobo look"), learning terrible clown secrets, and investigating the mansion in the woods that Don told you about, which turned out to hold a serial killer and a vicious vampire. It's been a busy few days. Point being, you and your friends have gotten cooler. Despite this, you ask Don if he can teach a spell to one of you if you help him deal with Cindy.

"Uuuuuhh...you know how I feel about that...but...you do still seem like good people, all things considered. I mean going to a goblin village without slaughtering everyone and taking down a vampire loving fanatic? I have some questions about letting a little girl drink werewolf blood, but alright. If you come with me and help get that sap away from Cindy, I'll teach some more druidic spells. I have a good feeling that Cindy might be heading back to Coastberg. We should go as soon as possible."

WARNING. GOING TO COASTBERG NOW WILL START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF PHILLIP DOLLARFIELD DOESN'T CARE ABOUT SAVING THE PRINCESS. ARE YOU READY TO GO TO THE NEXT CHAPTER?

LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!

Shit yes lets do it!

Let's hit the road toad.

My only regret is that we totally disappointed that goblin guitar player by re-stealing Ryan's guitar from him without being able to help, but yeah, let's go.

PM 2016/02/05(Fri)08:05 No. 699208 ID: d31120
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>>698954
You've outgrown Snickersberg and your nameless hometown. It's time for you and your crew to move on to bigger and better things...well, slightly bigger and marginally better things. You tell Don that you're ready to go to Coastberg with him.

"Great. The road to Coastberg is a little long, but we'll be able to make it by foot. Let's get going."

Making sure all your party members are secured safely to your body, you follow Don out of the woods and onto the dirt road. Small remnants of neon green go line the pathway down to Coastberg.

Janet shakes your head violently. "Aw yeah this is gonna be so great I hear the beach at Coastberg is so good we can catch some waves and catch some crabs and meet cute boys and catch some crabs and it will be great I am a werewolf also did you remember that please feel my beard!"

Suzy's hold on your back tightens. "I don't think I tan well, we should really pick up some sunscreen while we're there, please. I don't think I want to be a pretend vampire anymore but I also don't want my skin to turn bright red. I like my paleness."

Ryan's hold around your chest is pretty comfortable. "Dude, I hope there's some beach parties going on. The ladies like dudes who can play a guitar. Man, imagine how cool that would be, getting popular at the beach."

Don scoffs at this talk of cool. "If only Phillip Dollarfield cared as much about saving the princess as you all do about being cool."

END OF CHAPTER 1

9/10, would stake again.

>>699208
Glorious.