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File 140969062371.png - (135.71KB , 800x800 , 304.png )
592224 No. 592224 ID: d470e9

CHOP'S DREAMS roll throughout his mind like LAVA down a CRAGGED SLOPE. That is, UNTIL IMAGES of ARMS WOVEN AROUND SLEEPING SURFACES and PUNY PRINCESS PUFF PUPPETS pop the STEEL COATED BUBBLE OF FORMER IMAGES that are now FOREVER LOST like CHOP'S MERCY TOWARDS THOSE WHO AWAKEN HIM.

>"Do you think he's asleep?"
>"....Is that rhetorical, Princess? I don't think he's asleep. I don't think he sleeps, ever."
>"Oh come on! We're here so early, though! The moon has a ways to go before getting to the horizon, and the candles here aren't even lit. And... d... do you wanna draw on his face? Oo, or check out his bedroom?"

....

>"... okay, maybe he's asleep. And yes. Yes, I would like to doom us to some kind of painful, probably coal-related fate. Still, there's gotta be other people here. This place is always trashed at the end of the day, and everyone leaves, but when we come back? Spotless."
>"Oh my god I thought I was the only one who noticed that."
>"And breakfast? Can you imagine Chop with an apron, toiling over the stoves here?"
Expand all images
>>
No. 592226 ID: 2fd516

>>592224
EARLY! As a reward, they get to cook you breakfast.
>>
No. 592232 ID: 385581

>>592226
Second this and for being SISSY GOSSIP MONGERS they get to test out your new coal shoes! For coal traing everywhere!
>>
No. 592236 ID: bb78f2

Ahh! Wonderful, living weights for a nice morning workout. Lift them while you give them their criticism and punishments. Which are those above.
>>
No. 592237 ID: d470e9
File 140969444956.png - (120.60KB , 800x800 , 305.png )
592237

>new coal shoes
CHOP DOES NOT DEAL WITH MAGICAL INSTRUMENTS OF CHEATING SUCH AS THESE.

>"Yeah I'm not sure who makes breakfast around you."

"The ANSWER is BOTH OF THOSE WHO ARRIVE EARLY. The reward is COOKING BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS FOR ALL."
>"... what if we didn't get a reward." BEDHUGGER'S insolent voice fails to echo throughout the room.
"REWARD DENIERS are subject to being CHOP'S WEIGHTS FOR CHOP'S WEIGHTLIFT TRAINING SESSION."
>"I wouldn't mind actually just being lifted a few times for a change."
"HAHAHA CHOP DEMANDS ONLY THE HEAVIEST WEIGHTS. PUNY LITTLE KOBOLDS-IN-TRAINING require 5 YEARS TRAINING before becoming worthy of PARTICIPATION in CHOP'S WEIGHTLIFT TRAINING SESSION. BEDHUGGER and PRINCESS will either CREATE BREAKFAST or ENGAGE IN COAL-RELATED MORNING PUSHUPS."
>"Breakfast sounds nice."

"BEHOLD THE DESIGNATED FOOD CREATION ZONE."
>"We call it a kitchen."
"CHOP DOES NOT KNOW OF 'WE'. Do the partners of moon-training know the basics of COOK?"
>"I cooked a bit in my old place!" says PRINCESS, stepping up to the TASK like the ANT TO A BREADCRUMB FIVE TIMES ITS OWN SIZE.
"Then YOU shall be BEDHUGGER'S MENTOR. ASSIST YOURSELVES TO ANYTHING WITHIN THE PANTRY. KNOW THAT AT DAWN, ALL SHALL TASTE YOUR FOOD AND ALL SHALL JUDGE YOUR FOOD AND YOU."
>"Who normally cooks?" Bedhugger asks and therefore is NOT COOKING.
"THE PREVIOUS COOKERS ARE THOSE WHO EXPECT GREAT FOOD-FUELED PERFORMANCE."
>"You?"
"NO. THE WORLD."
>"... what. Nevermind. Princess, what do we have to work with?"
>>
No. 592238 ID: d470e9
File 140969446852.png - (125.52KB , 800x800 , 306.png )
592238

>"Uh... oh, geez. Preserved slugmeat."
>"That is it?"
>"Don't worry! It's not so bad. I mean, on its own it's absolutely horrible, but it gets really drowned out with spices, so we just need something good. Let's see, here's a spicerack... uh, Klabis -"
"DO NOT SPEAK OF OUTSIDERS WITHIN THE HALLOWED CHAMBERS OF FOOD CREATION."
>".... we might have a problem, Bedhugger. I think I just found out why our breakfasts are usually.... challenging."
"Oh, no. Can you do anything about it?"
>"Well, yes, but... if Chop lets me. I mean, I guess it's kind of a tradition to have breakfast requiring discipline. Chop, if you want us to do this task, can we do it our way?"
>>
No. 592240 ID: 53ba34

they can do it their way, BUT if it is a failure they will be punished.
>>
No. 592243 ID: 88960e

Chop approves of initiative and drive in puny things accomplishing their tasks. At least, if they are successful.
>>
No. 592246 ID: 0ee153

SUCCESS IS ITS OWN JUSTIFICATION.
>>
No. 592249 ID: d8a627

OF COURSE they can TAKE IT UPON THEMSELVES to PERFORM THEIR TASK. But if they DO IT THEIR WAY and they FAIL TO SUCCEED with the SUCCESS OF SUCCESSORS, then their punishment shall be increased TEN FOLD OF TEN FOLDS.
>>
No. 592260 ID: bb78f2

YOUR WAY IS THE ONLY WAY, YOUNG PUNYLING WARRIORS! HAVE YOU BEEN NOT LISTENING TO CHOP'S UNDERLYING PHILOSOPHY? PERHAPS ESSAYS ARE IN ORDER! NOTICE CHOP'S SUBTEXT! CHOP IS NOT ALL DIRECT!
>>
No. 592264 ID: 37aa84

They may choose, their way or using CHOP'S TOOLS of COOKING.
>>
No. 592823 ID: d470e9
File 140997666498.png - (132.38KB , 800x800 , 307.png )
592823

>"Its JUSTIFICATION shall rely entirely upon its own SUCCESS! Should it create an ADEQUATE MEAL using its own MINIATURE TECHNIQUES, CHOP shall give his APPROVAL."

CHOP stands over them, EYEING THEIR SHAKING, UNCERTAIN MOVEMENTS OF QUESIONABLE COOKING ABILITY.

>"Okay!" The PAMPERED PRINCESS declares, sounding between a mix of PRIDE and POSSIBLE REGRET. "The stew is ready to be rolled out to the breakfast place. Do you want to take a sample?"
"CHOP SHALL TASTE THIS KOBOLD MERSEL'S MORSEL OF FOOD."
>>
No. 592824 ID: d470e9
File 140997667502.png - (77.28KB , 800x800 , 308.png )
592824

THE PRINCESS, through methods that CHOP can only consider FOREIGN, UNDISCOVERED MAGIC, has transformed the essence of FIRE POWDER and RAW PAIN into SUGAR, GOOD FEELINGS and WARM SENTIMENTS that now lie in this cauldron that, for MOONS AND WINTERS, have contained naught but PAINFUL TRIBULATIONS IN LIQUID AND SOMETIMES SOLID FORM.
>>
No. 592826 ID: 53ba34

hold strong chop, say that they have managed to pass. don't need to say how well they did just that they did.
>>
No. 592829 ID: 400725

>>592824
Positive reinforcement is a valuable part of any training. A "WELL DONE" should be adequate for this situation.
>>
No. 592834 ID: 9ddf68

so they have made a passable meal, now all they need to do is make sure that they have made enough for the rest of there sparing partners and this can be chalked up to a pass. As for a reward they shall soak in there own success as success is it's own reward.
>>
No. 592837 ID: 2fd516

>>592824
Tell them this is not the sort of thing you normally eat, but also that you are impressed they managed to coax such a soft meal out of such hard ingredients. How did they do it?
>>
No. 592838 ID: d90668

I think that's a good thing.

I mean better food means healthier bolds. Plus you could make the good food a reward for whoever proved themselves during the days training. Can keep the old stuff for people who do not give 126%.
>>
No. 592843 ID: 9561b1

Oh well, these students are still training their outsides. Training their insides can wait, for now.
>>
No. 592853 ID: 0cd21f

>>592824
So... the obvious question. Is this a good thing, Chop?

On the one hand, students preforming impossible feats seems good. And maybe good food fuels good training. Or is this new food no longer strong enough to test and train those who consume it?
>>
No. 592855 ID: 689aae

>>592838
Agree on the bad stuff given to puny weaklings that persist in unkoboldly whining, give them a MINOR WORD on their success, but shout at them that you expect thousands of percentages of effort given to this work.
>>
No. 592885 ID: d8a627

PRINCESS. You have given HUNDREDS OF PERCENTS. BEDHUGGER should LEARN from you. THIS IS THE EFFORT I EXPECT DURING TRAINING.
FOR FAILING TO GIVE A TENTH MORE THAN A HUNDRED PERCENT, BEDHUGGER WILL CARRY THE MEAL TO THE OTHERS. If any PUNY KITTENS try and WHINE or COMPLAIN they will be GIVEN ONLY THE SCRAPS YOUR LABOR.
>>
No. 592905 ID: 37aa84

Sugar, good feelings, and warm sentiments? That doesn't sound like food it sounds like CANDY, the bane of all warriors.
>>
No. 593117 ID: d470e9
File 141012540462.png - (143.28KB , 800x800 , 309.png )
593117

"This CONCOCTION OF INGREDIENTS have been COMBINED to form CANDY, the BANE OF ALL WARRIORS."
>"No, no!" says PRINCESS. "You saw us, we were just using ingredients from the kitchen! We can't transform that into things that are any, uh, less unhealthy than what was already here."
"Chop ACKNOWLEDGES this, and shall give MINOR WORD OF APPROVAL. BEDHUGGER shall learn from PRINCESS, who COOKS like WARRIOR FAIRY. CHOP EXPECTS HUNDREDS OF PERCENTAGES OF EFFORT TO CONTINUE."

The FOOD is DELIVERED into the LITTLE MOUTHS of LITTLE WARRIORS.

ALL except for PUNYLOCKS.
>>
No. 593118 ID: d8a627

>>593117
Is that WIMPY STASRUBIS out there TAKING UP HER TIME again? I thought PUNYLOCKS was SMARTER than to GET DISTRACTED. It appears that she has FORGOTTEN HER TRAINING and needs a SERIOUS REMINDER.
>>
No. 593119 ID: 2fd516

>>593117
She is LATE! Time to go knock down her door.
>>
No. 593120 ID: 8b533b

Is PUNYLOCKS currently LATE? This is UNACCEPTABLE.

Inquire if your students have any information regarding this alarming irregularity. Then give them their first task to begin when they have finished eating, while you leave to retrieve Punylocks.

Punylocks' portion of the food is not to be kept warm for her. Those who are LATE can expect cold food if they are very lucky. Or no food at all. Food shall be kept warm for the very late, in the form of a meal of hot coals.
>>
No. 593121 ID: 53ba34

give those here a regular training assignment while you go retrieve punylocks for a HARD training assignment.
>>
No. 593130 ID: 8beeee

>>593120
I wonder if you could add a topping of HOT STEAM to those HOT COALS. A diet of KOBOLDLY AIR would drive out those fumes of SISSY WEAKNESS from those FLAPPY LUNGS OF GIRLISH DEPOSITION in their bodies
>>
No. 593489 ID: d470e9
File 141031460980.png - (114.89KB , 800x800 , 310.png )
593489

CHOP gives RECRUITS the DIFFICULT TRAINING of LOADING AND HEATING ALL COALS in preparation for CHOP BRINGING LATE WHIMPERERS TO THE DOJO FOR BRUTAL TRAINING.

This COMBINATION OF LETTERS upon PUNYLOCK'S DOOR assemble to form UNFAMILIAR MESSAGES.
>>
No. 593496 ID: 8da6ad

Sickness! The ENEMY TO ALL WARRIORS OF BONE AND MEAT. Let us visit the TACTICIAN OF THE BODY'S BATTLES WITH ILLNESS, also known as a DOCTOR, to find out exactly which of the MANIFOLD FOES OF THE FLESH it is that PUNYLOCKS is locked in combat with.

Thus we may decide how to fully maximize our BRUTAL COUNTERATTACK.
>>
No. 593497 ID: 2fd516

>>593489
You can just ask Punylocks herself what her sickness is. Knock sortof-quietly.
>>
No. 593498 ID: e34da4

Swiftly REMOVE this obstruction with POWER UNMATCHED and SILENCE ALSO UNMATCHED. PUNYLOCKS knows better than to miss out on training, there must be a good reason!
>>
No. 593503 ID: d8a627

>Doctor Sleelus
Clearly this wizard has CURSED PUNYLOCKS. You need to GO TEACH HIM A LESSON.

But first, KNOCK QUIETLY. And by QUIETLY I mean USING THE THE WORD KNOCK instead of CASTING THE SPELL. The WORD has POWER, but is QUIETER THAN CASTING THE SPELL.
>>
No. 593505 ID: 8beeee

>>593503
Agree but even in sickness must a kobold do training. I still say a good steam bath would do wonders for whatever weak flabby ease for a disease currently runs through punylocks' veins
>>
No. 593507 ID: 53ba34

punylocks is still weak enough that falling prey to an illness can happen. Chop does not get sick due to being too strong.
>>
No. 593521 ID: d470e9
File 141032506780.png - (74.88KB , 800x800 , 311.png )
593521

It is CHOP'S INTENTION to find what FOE OF THE BODY has attacked PUNYLOCKS, who's WEAKLING TRAINING has been INSUFFICIENT TO ALLOW SUCH AFFLICTIONS TO TAKE HOLD.

"POWERWORD: KNOCK KNOCK."
>"uuuuung... come in, it's not locked..."
>>
No. 593522 ID: d470e9
File 141032507735.png - (114.36KB , 800x800 , 312.png )
593522

"CHOP HAS ARRIVED TO DO BATTLE WITH THAT WHICH HAS INDUCED PUNYLOCKS TO BEHAVE AS A DEAD SLUG."
>"I... was going to go in today, Chop, I can at least do some fighting practice, but the doctors told me I better not. They don't say it's anything serious, but I won't recover if I don't rest."
"CHOP would seek out a TACTICIAN OF ILLNESS WARS for a SECOND OPINION, but CHOP has been BANNED FROM THE MEDICAL QUARTERS for PETTY REASONS CHOP CONSIDERS UNWORTHY OF RECALLING FROM MEMORY."
>"Has... that ever stopped you from entering a place, though? Maybe I can do basic training."
"CORRECT. INTERNAL WARFARE has ZERO CARE PERCENTAGES for EXTERNAL BATTLES. BOTH can occur at ANY MOMENT for the WEAK OF BODY. TO TRAIN BEYOND IT IS ONE MILLION PERCENT."
>"Stasrubis also says that resting your own body is important whenever you can, and we don't have any external battles right now, do we?"

CHOP can either TRAIN PUNLOCKS IN THE WAYS OF COMBAT WHILE HINDERED WITH FRAILTY AND BECOME DOUBLE-BANNED, or IGNORE this medical BAN and SEEK this SLEELUS for A DOCTOR'S ESSAY ON PUNYLOCK'S SICKNESS for MAXIMUM KNOWLEDGE.
>>
No. 593525 ID: 8beeee

Carry the puny weakling slug who can only flail about helplessly as you make your way to the puny doctors who can't even punch their way through a medicine cabinet
>>
No. 593526 ID: d8a627

If she is to WAGE A WAR inside her body then TRAIN HER INSIDES. Get her in STEAM AND SMOKE to TRAIN HER LUNGS. Get her FED TO TRAIN HER STOMACH. And get her some BOOKS TO TRAIN HER MIND.
If TACTICIANS OF PHYSICAL HEALTH say that she MUST NOT FIGHT OUTSIDE HER BODY to recover, then SHE MUST KEEP HER FIGHTS INSIDE, or else KEEP TO NONPHYSICAL TRAINING. Such as FIGHTING WITH WORDS.
>>
No. 593528 ID: 2fd516

>>593522
IGNORE BAN, acquire knowledge on exactly what sort of sick she's got.
>>
No. 593529 ID: 8b533b

Internal and external warfare may not care about each other, but a puny body will be hard pressed to fight two wars.

Give Punylocks leave to fight her internal battle while you obtain MAXIMUM KNOWLEDGE.
>>
No. 593530 ID: 8da6ad

The time for TRAINING is not WHEN ACTUAL BATTLE IS ALREADY JOINED. Make note to begin INNARDS TRAINING for recruits soon, then see to OUTMANEUVERING the SLOW ARM OF THE LAW by sending a LESSER WARRIOR to visit the medical quarters and retrieve the information you desire. While doing so, they can see to becoming LESS LESSER by running there. On their hands.
>>
No. 593534 ID: bb78f2

Hmm, a concern.
CONTAGIONS!
The INNER BATTLE may stretch to the other PUNYLINGS, even ones not under CHOP'S TUTILIGE!
>>
No. 593541 ID: e34da4

Acquire KNOWLEDGE to be STRONG of MIND
>>
No. 594070 ID: d470e9
File 141071861945.png - (113.09KB , 800x800 , 313.png )
594070

"PUNYLOCKS will REPORT FOR DOJO DUTY for STEAMBATH AND FIGHTING INTERNAL BATTLE."
>"I might get others sick, though..."
"INTERNAL BATTLES FOR ALL, THEN."

CHOP IGNORES THE BAN and performs the MEDICAL POWER WALK to GAIN SUCH KNOWLEDGE.

>"Chop, please, you're getting - "
"THE KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT HAS PLAGUED PUNYLOCKS."
>"Who?"
"PUNYLOCKS."
>"Saying it louder doesn't help! I don't know who that is."
"THE PUNY ONE WITH PUNY LOCKS UPON ITS DOOR."
>".... we haven't treated anyone recently who had locks on their doors."
"CHOP has SMASHED its DOORLOCKS, but their SPIRIT OF PUNINESS HOLES TRUE."
>"Look, Chop... we're all puny to you. Can you, uh, just... leave, now? We have a lot of work to do. We'll do what we can for... Punylocks."
>>
No. 594072 ID: bb78f2

The half-dragonbold! The puny dragon!
>>
No. 594073 ID: 2fd516

>>594070
Okay two choices here:
1) Just say her name, Lumei.
2) Describe her further, as the half-draconic girl with curiously-detailed eyes.
>>
No. 594074 ID: 8b533b

The doctor cannot have treated so many puny kobolds this morning that he cannot tell one from another?

Punylocks. The student with half kobold and half kobold parentage? About this tall, uses many long words, uses water magic, has big green eyes?
>>
No. 594081 ID: d8a627

PUNYLOCKS is the PUNY KOBOLD who is HALF KOBOLD and HALF KOBOLD to be ALL PUNY KOBOLD of PUNY KOBOLDNESS. She is LESS PUNY than MOST PUNY KOBOLDS, though, and has PUNY PUPILS IN HER NOT PUNY EYES THAT ARE NOT PUNY IN THE SENSE OF HOW TALL THEY ARE, VERY MUCH LIKE HOW HER BODY IS BOTH PUNY AND NOT PUNY AT THE SAME TIME.
She has PUNY HORNS and PUNY EARS and PRACTICES THE COWARD'S ART OF MAGIC WITH WATER, but is STRONG ENOUGH OF HEART to NOT BE A COWARD when PRACTICING THE WAY OF A WARRIOR, so you will IGNORE HER COWARDLY POWER and instead FOCUS ON HER PUNY STRENGTHS THAT GROW AT PUNY RATES.
>>
No. 594298 ID: 537e57
File 141084215337.png - (89.25KB , 800x800 , 314.png )
594298

"PUNYLOCKS is the HALF KOBOLD, HALF KOBOLD, ALL PUNY hybrid. It is STRONG ENOUGH OF HEART to go against its COWARDLY WATER MAGIC WAYS in favor of POWERFIST WAYS. It is LESS PUNY THAN MOST, yet AS FRAIL. Her EYES are ABNORMALLY GIGANTIC to its PUNY HEAD, of which wields TINY HORNS UNFIT FOR BATTLE WITH FLUFFY WAMBLERS."
>"Goddamn, the half draconic one, why didn't you just say it was her?!"
"PERHAPS THE HEALER SHOULD INVESTIGATE ITS OWN EARS, as CHOP was FAST AS THE MIGHTY CHEETAH to INFORM ILL-EARS of CHOP'S INTENT TO IDENTIFY PUNYLOCK'S PERIL."
>"Her name is Lumei! Lumei! If you want to call them whatever in the Dojo, that's fine, but out here, she's Lumei! That's her name! Did you even know that?!"

The BONE UNBREAKER appears both UNCOOPERATIVE and TEMPTED TO SPEW NONSENSE FROM ITS MAW THAT LEAVES CHOP TO WONDER HOW IT HAS NOT STARVED to death by an INABILITY TO CHEW ITS OWN FOOD.
>>
No. 594299 ID: 8b533b

Get your intimidation on, chop. The bonebreaker needs to be answering questions, not jabbering about names.

NAMES are not IMPORTANT.

What is IMPORTANT is that the BONEBREAKER ELUCIDATE the manner of ILLNESS so it can be slain with GREAT KNOWLEDGE.
>>
No. 594300 ID: bb78f2

CHOP DEMANDS the PUNY ONE'S ILLNESS

As her MENTOR, it is ABSOLUTELY 1000% necessary to be informed of the health of CHOP'S PUNY PUPILS. ALL of the PERCENTS.
Do you HAVE NO respect for the CONTRIBUTIONS CHOP brings to the CAVE? The POWERFUL WARRIORS that make it so you CONTINUE your THRIVING existence? CHOP MUST KNOW! When DUMBLING MAGE PUPILS are SICK, you NOTIFY their MENTORS. REGARDLESS of PERSONAL FEELINGS towards CHOP, the CAVE INFRASTRUCTURE is DEPENDENT on COMPLETE COEXISTENCE!
>>
No. 594302 ID: 2fd516

>>594298
Chop knows all his recruit's names. Once they have earned it, Chop will call them by those names. Now, Chop demands to know what inner battle Punylocks struggles with.
>>
No. 594303 ID: d90668

Weak Babies only get proper warrior names when they can impress CHOP with there STRENGTH.

What is wrong with my Pupil?
>>
No. 594328 ID: d8a627

Chop DOES NOT CARE if the WARRIOR OF BROKEN BONES wishes to call PUNYLOCKS BY HER WARRIOR NAME, but Chop did not come here to DEBATE HER TITLES. What Chop did come for is to LEARN OF HER INTERNAL ENEMY, so that Chop can BETTER TRAIN HER TO FIGHT IT.

Chop's CURRENT STRATEGY is STEAM AND SMOKE to get the LUNGS STRONGER and OPEN THE PORES SO HER STRENGTH CAN STRIKE AT ALL POINTS. The HEAT OF THE BATTLE will also help to KILL THE ENEMY THAT IS SO PUNY CHOP CANNOT EVEN SEE IT WITH HIS VERY STRONG EYES, as Chop knows that THESE TINY ENEMIES CANNOT STAND THE HEAT.
>>
No. 594344 ID: a68ad3

To be NAMED TRUE by one's teacher is a sign that one has been acknowledged as being able to stand on one's own! For CHOP to refer to his students by name before then, even to others, would be to MAKE LIGHT of the ACHIEVEMENTS which they strive to attain! By stepping into the dojo, and choosing to return there again, Chop's students have accepted that they are SOFT CLAY, to be DEFTLY PUMMELED into works of MARTIAL ART - and an artist does not give their works their proper name until they are completed!!

All that the healer need concern himself is whether THE DUTIES OF CHOP ARE BEING DUTIFULLY FULFILLED, and he can be assured that Chop's NAMING CONVENTIONS are part of this effort, as are his attempts to DISCERN WHAT ILLNESS ASSAILS HIS SEMI-DRACONIAN STUDENT.
>>
No. 595653 ID: 602cd8
File 141160145747.png - (106.60KB , 800x800 , 315.png )
595653

"CHOP does not CONCERN ONE'S OWN GREY MATTER with such a topic as NAMES. If the TALKATIVE DISEASE FIGHTER insists, CHOP shall give them all RESPECTFUL NAMES when they become RESPECTFUL KOBOLD WARRIORS. FOR NOW, CHOP must know ALL HEALTH STATISTICS of PUNY PUPILS. PUNYGLOCKS is in THE HEAT OF BATTLE under the STRATEGY OF STEAM AND SMOKE so that ALL PUPILS ARE HEALTHY AND CAPABLE OF DEFENDING ALL CAVE DENIZENS, NO MATTER HOW UNGRATEFUL SOME SUCH AS THE BONE MENDER MAY BE.
>"Look, we're very appreciative, Chop, but you kind of... look... when it's between living with you and getting attacked by goblins or humans or whatever, sometimes it's a tough choice. A lot of us feel that way. As for Lumei? She has the common cold. That's it. Not 'great ailment of terrible fate' or 'puny excuse of laying down' or whatever you want to call it. Please repeat after me. The common cold."
>>
No. 595656 ID: 88960e

>the common cold
Then this WEAK AND COMMON AILMENT shall be summarily CRUSHED as is befitiing such a PUNY ILLNESS. An APPROPRIATE CHALLENGE for PUNY STUDENTS.

Bid the BONEBREAKER adieu, over his protests, and depart.
>>
No. 595662 ID: 2fd516

>>595653
Then we expect Punylocks to CRUSH the common cold!
>>
No. 595667 ID: d90668

The Common cold is no weak enemy. It's so strong that despite centuries of trying no one has ever found a cure!

You should make this the focus of your training for the day. Ways for a warrior to treat and avoid disease.
>>
No. 595728 ID: c22069

CHOP'S WEAK yet HEALTHY PUPILS shall aid PUNYLOCKS in CRUSHING this COMMON COLD, but shall do so in a manner that also CHALLENGES THEIR MEAGER SKILLS!

The TINY STUDENTS will run a GAUNTLET in which they must avoid FOES and OBSTACLES, as they SAFELY FERRY SPOONFULS of the PRINCESSE'S NOT-CANDY CONCOCTION with out SPILLING A DROP.

Their GOAL is to reach the END where the ONE OF PUNYLOCKS IS TRAINING and FEED HER before the NOURISHMENT GROWS COLD. This will help TRAIN their SPEED, BALANCE, and DEXTARITY!

It will be like an EGG RACE! Only with PARKOUR and POTENTIALLY NOURISHING GRUEL!
>>
No. 596718 ID: 602cd8
File 141220899759.png - (92.92KB , 800x800 , 316.png )
596718

"CHOP SHALL BID THE PRESENT ADIEU."
>"What?"
>>
No. 596719 ID: 602cd8
File 141220900622.png - (176.35KB , 800x800 , 317.png )
596719

"PUNYLOCKS."
>"Yes?"
"EVERYONE"
>"Yes?"
>"Yes?"
>"Yes?"
>"Yes?"
"TODAY IS THE TRAINING FOR THE DESTRUCTION AND CRUSHING OF ALL CURRENT ILLNESSES AND ALL ILLNESSES OF THE FUTURE. TODAY'S LESSON FOR THE PRESENT IS DEXTERITY. ALL shall gather a SPOONFUL OF PRINCESS UNCANDY and WALK IT TO PUNYLOCKS, while AVOIDING HAZARDS CHOP WILL THINK OF IN MERE SECONDS. BEGIN."
>>
No. 596720 ID: 602cd8
File 141220903495.png - (255.14KB , 800x800 , 318.png )
596720

CHOP can only describe the FOLLOWING SCENE to be TRAGIC.

NONETHELESS, eventually PUNYLOCKS has had her TINY STOMACH FILLED with BUT A FEW SPOONFULS.
>>
No. 596721 ID: 602cd8
File 141220904028.png - (103.06KB , 800x800 , 319.png )
596721

"IT IS NOW TIME FOR TODAY'S LESSON FOR THE FUTURE OF ILLNESS AVOIDANCE. HYGIENE."
>"What?" asks the PERPLEXED BEDHUGGER, whos BRAIN HAS SUCCUMBED TO THE ILLNESS OF GREAT IGNORANCE.

CHOP SMASHES a BLANK TABLET into a *BLANK TABLET ENGRAVED WITH A MASTERFUL DRAWING of a KOBOLD TAKING A GLORIOUS SHOWER*.

>"ALL SHALL EXPLAIN TO THE CLASS WHAT THIS KOBOLD IS DOING."
>>
No. 596722 ID: 602cd8
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596722

From LEFT to RIGHT all answer.

>"Uh... wasting water."
>"I... cooling off?"
>"Having a harmless water spell backfire?"
>"Trying to play it cool when some pranksters dump a bucket of water on him like he enjoys it!"
>"What Bedhugger said."
>"What Kissy Face 2... or 1 or whoever is the guy says."
>>
No. 596723 ID: 2fd516

>>596722
WRONG. This kobold is DRIVING BACK THE DIRT MENACE THAT PLAGUES HIS BODY. Seriously, nobody here has ever taken a bath before?

...maybe you should add soap to the drawing. Is soap even a thing cave-dwelling kobolds have?
>>
No. 596724 ID: d90668

Oh man you have your work cut out for you Chop. If they do not know about the basics that means that no one here probably does. You are going to have to teach everyone in the caves at this point.
>>
No. 596732 ID: d8a627

>>596724
Well, no, these six came from outside camps. Chop probably bathes/showers often enough that the water would have to be plentiful enough for everybody to do it.

VERY WELL, since PUNYLOCKS is a WIZARD OF WATER, she shall CAST UPON HER ALLIES HARMLESS WATER SPELLS. They shall IMITATE THE DRAWING and PRETEND IT IS A PRANK that they are PRETENDING TO BE ENJOYING so as to SEEM TO BE COOLING OFF. They shall RUB THE WATER INTO THEIR FUR and CONTINUE THIS for HUNDREDS OF MINUTES until CHOP SAYS ENOUGH, at which point CHOP EXPECTS A REAL ANSWER.
>>
No. 596745 ID: 1c72bd

>>596732
YES!!!!
>>
No. 596773 ID: 7d8352

PAY HEED. Illness is spread by INVISIBLE GHOSTS that are attracted by FILTH. Beginning from one ALREADY POSSESSED BY SICKNESS, or any of their leavings, the ghost INVADES your body and, if your body is not SUFFICIENTLY STRONG, it will take hold! These ghosts are MANY in variety, but there are several that give away their ghostly nature by causing the unfortunate host to expel ECTOPLASMIC HUMORS. A true WARRIOR BODY, healthy both inside and out, will repel these ghosts, though they may yet pass the vile spirit to another while the initial battle rages!

By GROOMING, with water or, if water is in short supply, steam or sand, you remove both FILTH and any UNREMARKED LEAVINGS OF ILLNESS that one may not realize has gotten on their body. Eliminating these does not guarantee safety from INVISIBLE GHOSTS, but reduces their ability to gain purchase greatly! Consider the act of BATHING as the regular patrol of sentries around a camp. A truly skilled enemy might yet penetrate, but the effort is still more than worthwhile! In addition, you will all smell better, which will improve your FOCUS, which is as just demonstrated often lacking!

Also, beware INVINCIBLE GOATS, for reasons that are SELF-EVIDENT.
>>
No. 596798 ID: 8b533b

Chop has some impressive tablet smashing skills, there.

>You are going to have to teach everyone in the caves at this point.
It would probably be easier for chop to divert a river into the caves than to force every puny kobold in the system to overcome their own ignorance.
>>
No. 600212 ID: 602cd8
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600212

>Is soap even a thing cave-dwelling kobolds have?
In the RARE OCCURENCE of TRADING, we have EXPERIENCED THE USAGE OF SOAP. However, its MANUFACTURING SECRETS HAVE ELUDED OUR GREATEST INVENTORS.

We BATHE with WATER, SPIRIT, and POLISHED ROCK.

Though 'WE' is NOT AS INCLUSIVE as CHOP'S HOPES have WISHED.

>If they do not know about the basics that means that no one here probably does.
ALL RESPECTABLE WARRIORS and EVEN NON-WARRIORS OF THE CAVE have been CONFIRMED FOR HYGENIC COMPETENCE. That the SMELLY EARTHWORMS OF KOBOLDS remain as such this far into WARRIOR TRAINING SIGNIFIES A FAILURE OF CHOP'S OWN RESPONSIBILITY. This FAILURE will meet IMMINENT DESTRUCTION BY CHOP'S OWN WILL.

"WRONGGGG. This KOBOLD OF ATTRACTIVE SMELL is DRIVING BACK THE DIRT MENACE THAT PLAGUES HIS BODY."
>"Oh... yeah I... should have known that, but I thought this cave didn't have kobolds that bathed." says PUNYLOCKS, of which CHOP SHOULD FEEL OFFENDED yet must ADMIT this ASSUMPTION IS REASONABLE.
"All shall now be INTRODUCED TO THE FINE ART OF BATHING. BEHOLD, CHOP's personal stash of FINE SOAP CARVED FROM THE CLEANEST OF ROCKS. APPLY VIGOROUSLY TO BODY to REPEL ALL INVISIBLE GHOSTS OF PLAGUE ATTRACTED TO ONE'S FILTH. PUNYGLOCKS SHALL SUPPLY WATER. BEDHUGGER, BEGIN."
>>
No. 600213 ID: 602cd8
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600213

>>
No. 600214 ID: 602cd8
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600214

".... PUNYGLOCKS SHALL APPLY MORE WATER."
>"I'm... a little out of practice. You told me to stop using water magic."
>>
No. 600216 ID: 4f004c

>You told me to stop using water magic.
What? You said that WARRIORS did not need the POWERS OF A WEAK WIZARD, not to STOP PRACTICING THEM. If you HAVE THE POWER, then MAKE IT STRONG. Make yourself into a POWERFUL WARRIOR MAGE, rather than a WEAK AND SCRAWNY ONE. Even the HEALERS understand the point of BEING STRONG AS WELL, for they are trained to RUN INTO THE BATTLEGROUND, HEEDLESS OF DANGER.
>>
No. 600217 ID: 2fd516

>>600214
Unacceptable. She should be keeping up with her magical studies in her free time. Chop cannot deny magic's usefulness so to keep her from getting rusty like this she should have like 10 minutes of practice after gym time each day. No sacrifices of physical training, but she can train her magic.

Actually considering her physical training is sub-par due to the sickness perhaps she can focus mainly on magical training until she's better. How about some target practice for starters? After everyone's taken some goddamn baths anyway.
>>
No. 600220 ID: dd8e0b

>>600214
NO. CHOP said to stop RELYING on WATER MAGIC. Puny students will not get STRONGER if they use one ability EXCLUSIVELY to cover for other WEAKNESSES. But this does not mean one should make themselves WEAKER by discarding an ability altogether!

A WARRIOR must train BODY and MIND. First Punylocks allowed her body to suffer by focusing on her mind, now her mind has suffered by focusing on body. She must learn to excel at EVERYTHING at the SAME TIME.
>>
No. 600230 ID: 31bc42

>>600214
Whoops. They could probably wash with just rocks dipped in the hot water in the pot you put Punylocks in.
The water magic training issue can be rectified when you are finished dealing with UNCLEAN KOBOLDS.
>>
No. 600242 ID: bb78f2

A BOLDING uses EVERYTHING at DISPOSAL. It NEVER should stop FLEXING a SINGLE MUSCLE, even MAGIC ONES.
WE FLEX BODY, MIND, AND SOUL!
>>
No. 601705 ID: 602cd8
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601705

"NO. CHOP instructed the FOOLISH NEGLECTOR OF MAGIC MUSCLE to NOT RELY ON MAGIC FOR PHYSICAL TRAINING. WARRIORS must train BODY AND MIND. PUNYGLOCKS shall REGAIN HER MAGICAL PROWESS while the others RETURN THE WATER TO A BOIL AND BATHE WITHIN IT."
>"... a boil, as in -"
"AS IN A BOIL. ALL SHALL TURN SMUDGELESS AS A CLOUDLESS SKY, AND NEW CLOTHES SHALL BE GRANTED VIA CHANNELING CHOP'S CHARITY SUPPLY OF BABY CLOTHES. PUNYLOCKS shall SEARCH THE SKILL LOST WITHIN HER MAGIC MIND AFTERWARDS."
>>
No. 601706 ID: 602cd8
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601706

ATTEMPTS AT ALL BATHING ARE PATHETIC.

However, ALL NON-HALF KOBOLDS have RETURNED FROM THE POT of NOT-REALLY-BOILING WATER due to BABY SKIN SYNDROME.

Chop's DUTIFUL EYEBALLS sense AN AWRY VISAGE on PRINCESS.
>>
No. 601707 ID: 602cd8
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601707

>>
No. 601708 ID: 602cd8
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601708

"CHOP CASTS ENHANCE: VISION"
>"... why are you squinting at me?" PRINCESS ASKS, with ZERO comprehension of CHOP'S MIGHTY MAGIC.
>>
No. 601709 ID: 602cd8
File 141577238644.png - (44.05KB , 800x800 , 328.png )
601709

SMUUUUUUDGE
>>
No. 601710 ID: 07a835

>>601709
Call her over. Then slowly and deliberately lick your thumb and clean that smudge. Then have her do laps as punishment for failing her bath-test.
>>
No. 601711 ID: 7c58ae

>>601709
That's it! If she made one smudge, she might have made more. She has to start all over.
>>
No. 601713 ID: 4f004c

PRINCESS should ADHERE TO HER NAMESAKE, and PRACTICE PERFECTION IN HER OWN IMAGE. CHOP EXPECTS ALL STUDENT WARRIORS to SCRUB EACH AND EVERY SPOT at least SEVERAL TIMES OVER, so that they can remove EVEN THE SMALLEST SPECK OF DIRT, and is DISAPPOINTED IN PRINCESS for being the one to FAIL SO BADLY.
>>
No. 601727 ID: bb78f2

DO YOU INSULT CHOP'S EYES?
This is UNPRESENTABLE. You will now cover yourself in coals AND WASH YOURSELF AGAIN.
>>
No. 603622 ID: 602cd8
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603622

"The PRINCESS is UNTRUE TO HER NAMESAKE. It lies UNPRESENTABLE TOWARDS CHOP'S OWN EYES. PRINCESS must ROLL UPON THE LOOSE COALS and REDO HER BATHING SESSION. All others SHALL ENJOY NORMAL TRAINING SESSION. PUNYLOCKS is DISMISSED FROM BODY TRAINING to enjoy MAGIC MIND TRAINING AT THE MAGIC CAVERNS."
>>
No. 603623 ID: 602cd8
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603623

The SUN LOWERS ITSELF IN SHAME at the REMAINING TRAINING TIME. Upon the MOON'S DECLINE, CHOP returns the NEXT MORNING AS ALWAYS.

However, only TWO (2) WEAKLINGS-TO-BE-WARRIORS are here, while FOUR (4) WEAKLINGS-TO-BE-FOREVER-WEAKLINGS are ABSENT, giving THE WORST ATTENDANCE OF ALL TIME.

"CHOP DID NOT RECEIVE NEWS OF WHAT MUST HAVE BEEN A GREAT CATASTROPHE. IT IS EXPECTED THAT AT LEAST TWO OF THE ABSENTEES ARE DEAD AND THE OTHER TWO BURYING HIM. SUCH IS THE ONLY REASON CHOP CAN EXPECT SUCH TARDINESS."
>"Uhm... I think I know why." PUNYLOCKS MUTTERS, with such SOMBER POSE AND TONE as to lead CHOP to believe HE IS CORRECT. "Our cavern just got another trainer. I think he came from a place that had some pretty strong warriors, I mean, as far as kobolds go. So... I mean, I and princess both got a message saying that we were welcome to join his dojo instead of yours, and it was promised there wouldn't be any retribution from you. I uh... take it you didn't agree to that."
"CORRECT. WHERE DOES THIS GREAT WARRIOR DARE LAY?"
>"Uh, I'm sorry, but we're actually not supposed to tell you."
"CHOP'S FISTS EACH TAKE ISSUE WITH THIS."
>"I-it was the chieftain! He says he wants to see how a new, different trainer may do."
>>
No. 603626 ID: 07a835

>>603623
To the chieftain, then. Demand to know why you were not notified of the competition.

Tell these faithful to continue their training in your absence. They should know what gets their muscles aching by now, just keep doing that for the time being.

I expect the chieftain will be expecting Chop.
>>
No. 603627 ID: d90668

Good competition keeps people on there toes. That is if this other trainer is at all competent.

You must go on a mission to see if this newcomer should be trusted with recruits in the cavern. If it turns out he sucks you must win back your pupils by proving your methods are superior.
>>
No. 603628 ID: 2d9b28

>>603623
This DISRESPECT may only be solved with a duel of FISTS.
>>
No. 603631 ID: bb78f2

...
CHOP WELCOMES THIS CHALLENGER. HE IS EXCITED TO SEE RESULTS! CHOP HOPES THE NEW TRAINER IS WORTHY FOR HE FEARS FOR THE CAVE'S FUTURE!
CHOP ALSO PRAISES REMAINING STUDENTS AND IS FLATTERED AND PROUD!
As a reward for this special occasion, CHOP SHALL WORK YOU EVEN HARDER TODAY! YOU WILL CARRY ALL OF THE PERCENTS OF THE MISSING STUDENTS! WHICH TOTALS TO 3 TIMES ALL OF THE PERCENTS FOR YOU BOTH!
CHOP is JEALOUS of your OPPORTUNITY. What CHOP would GIVE to be TRAINED BY CHOP TODAY.

HOWEVER, CHOP must meet CHIEFTAIN in the MEANTIME. To think CHOP would be SHAMED or JEALOUS of NEW DOJO LEADER is GREAT INSULT. CHOP is not LITTLE SCHOOL GIRL!
>>
No. 603643 ID: 49004e

Chop should join this new dojo. Pretending to be just a regular new student he can deafeat it from the inside.
>>
No. 603648 ID: a7efea

>>603643
This is the best idea.

Also, while he's doing this, to prove that Chop's training methods are superior, Princess and Punnylocks are expected to prepare to beat all four of the deserters in a fight.
>>
No. 603650 ID: bb78f2

>>603648
Yes, the undercover name is SLASH
>>
No. 603651 ID: 07a835

>>603643
>>603648
>>603650
Oh my god. Wait. Chop could ACTUALLY DO THIS if he had a method of shrinking himself. Like a potion or something.
>>
No. 603660 ID: 242d3e

>>603643
>>603650
>>603651
Yes, yes, and yes. They will never learn if you merely crush it. Infiltrate the new dojo and prove their methods are fundamentally flawed!
Seek out a way to transform yourself into what appears to be nothing more than another PUNY STUDENT.
>>
No. 603698 ID: 4f004c

>>603631
I like this one. This is a good suggestion.
>>
No. 603730 ID: 3f0c1b

>>603643
Chop will need a great disguise so the others students don't recognize him.
>>
No. 603749 ID: 77ef87

>>603651
Hate to say it, but unless he could also get a potion that could mask his CONSTANT SHOUTING and other distinct mannerisms I don't think that will work.

For now, we should go find the chief and get some answers, like why you weren't informed of this.
Give punylocks and princess some exercises to to before you go. I think they've proven enough strength of character by not leaving for the new dojo that you can trust them to not loaf about if left unsupervised for now.
>>
No. 603762 ID: 602cd8
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603762

>Go to the Chieftain
CHOP shall only find THE SAME ANSWER that PUNYLOCKS HAS SUPPLIED. Despite OPINION MISMATCHES, CHOP has CONSIDERABLE RESPECT for the Chief, and shall CONVINCE HIM OF HIS ERROR by SHOWING THE INFERIORITY OF THIS NEW DOJO, which CANNOT BE DONE BY ARGUING.

"The FORTUITOUS STUDENTS have the UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY OF TRAINING FOR ALL MISSING KOBOLD'S PERCENTAGES OF EFFORT. CHOP must INSPECT this NEW DOJO, and can only HOPE THAT IT IS A WORTHY ADVERSARY TO CHOP'S TEACHINGS. BUT FIRST. PUNYLOCKS. You shall BRING for me a POTION TO SHRINK CHOP INTO A PUNY STUDENT.
>"We, uh, we don't actually have one of those."
"Then A MAGE capable of SWAPPING MINDS BETWEEN BODIES. BODIES BETWEEN MINDS WILL ALSO BE ACCEPTABLE."
>"We, uh.... we do actually have one of those!"

PUNYLOCKS returns with SUCH A MAGE.

"STASRUBIS."
>"Sir."
"YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF THE DOJO DURING MY MENTAL ABSENCE."
>"Sir."
"LUMEI."
>"Y-, wait, what?"
>"YOU SHALL BE IN CHARGE OF MY BODY, TRAINING YOUR MAGIC UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF THIS MAGE. EAT ONLY THE HEALTHIEST OF FOODS. I EXPECT MY BODY IN TOP FORM UPON MY RETURN."
>>
No. 603763 ID: 602cd8
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603763

>"SHEEMUS. YOU SHALL TRAIN WITH STASRUBIS. I SHALL NOW PERFECT THE ART OF INFILTRATION."
>>
No. 603764 ID: 602cd8
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603764

Inside of the newly carved dojo

>"I HAVE ARRIVED TO INVESTIGATE THIS NEW - "

>Hate to say it, but unless he could also get a potion that could mask his CONSTANT SHOUTING and other distinct mannerisms I don't think that will work.
LUMEI'S PUNY VOICE is a PERFECT MASK to CHOP'S BOOMING VOLUME.

" - DOJO. SHOW ME THE NEW TEACHER."
>>
No. 603765 ID: 602cd8
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603765

>"Oh, come in, come in! You must be... Lumei, correct?"
"THAT IS MY CORRECT NAME."
>"Haha, we don't call each other by those... objectifying terms in here. We're all sapient creatures, from the weakest to the strongest, we all deserve the same. It's my understanding that Chop always ran you all ragged, but training to be strong doesn't need to be that way! I haven't yet met him, but I can say that things are going to be much different, here. Here, we don't focus on beating other people's faces in. There's much more to martial arts then that! In here, we learn not just the art of self defense, but also mental discipline, respect, and inner peace."

WHAT
>>
No. 603767 ID: 2ec61a

pretend to go along with it. we must find out f they truly believe what they say, or if they are just weak and complacent due to the lack of foes.
>>
No. 603769 ID: 88960e

>Chop is Lumei
That went even more awesome than I ever expected it too.

>WHAT
They're just words. Pointless, wrong, words. You must investigate the actual training.
>>
No. 603771 ID: 2f4b71

I can only hope Lumei has gone mad with power.
>>
No. 603772 ID: 07a835

>>603765
Why?
>>
No. 603779 ID: bb78f2

>>603765
Martial training? Those are moves that trick blocks of wood into thinking you're stronger than you actually are.
THIS IS BODY-MIND-SOUL mixed training!
INTERESTING.
>>
No. 603781 ID: 2d9b28

>>603765
Go along with it for exactly one minute, then train his face with your fists!
>>
No. 603796 ID: 0ee153

>>603781
We're using Punylocks' fists, and she's woefully underequipped. Go along with it for now.
>>
No. 603819 ID: 602cd8
File 141645438675.png - (169.12KB , 800x800 , 335.png )
603819

>"Oh my god, poor Sheemus is stuck with Chop all alone." says KISSY FACE TWO.
>"Oh, dear. Do you think I should go and fetch her myself, if Chop won't let her leave?"
>"Er, no, no." BEDHUGGER, ATOP HIS THIN HUGGING APPARATUS, INTERJECTS. "Chop's never really, uh forced us to be there.. well, sort of, but he didn't stop us. Uh, yeah. Princess can... leave if she wants to."
>"You are certain?"
>"....yyyyyesss, I'm... I'm definitely certain. Uh... what if... Chop... comes here?"
>"Don't worry! If he shows up, I will explain everything to him, and the Chieftain has assured me that he is not to give any retribution to any of you." continues the LIGHT VOICED INSTRUCTOR. "Then let's begin with our next exercise. Sit, relax, and close your eyes. Make sure you're comfortable. For the next 15 minutes, we will simply sit and keep our minds clear. If a thought comes in, simply let it pass until your mind is clear once again!"
"WHY?"
>"To practice calmness! You sound like a raging rockslide, Lumei, so I feel that you may best benefit from this! Even in the heat of battle, the ability to remain calm is invaluable."

FIFTEEN MINUTES OF REST? LUMEI has discovered why the LAZY ABSENTEES have FLOCKED to the BAIT OF LEISURE.

>"After this, we will practice balance! And no, there will be no hot coals involved, simply a stick suspended one foot off the ground. There's no reason to overdo training. One thing at a time, though! Everyone close your eyes for a quarter hour, now."
>>
No. 603820 ID: 07a835

This isn't resting, Chop. Pay attention, he said to keep your mind clear. That's actually rather difficult.
>>
No. 603835 ID: bb78f2

I WORRY.
While I would like to see her TECHNIQUES pan out, she MAY BE WEAKENING US on PURPOSE, to leave US VULNERABLE!

DOES SHE OFFER US WISDOM OR TRICKERY?
>>
No. 603837 ID: d45ea1

>>603819
As much as I'm loathe to admit it, Chop, but this guy might have a point. I say we spend the whole day just doing what he says, and if it works, maybe there could be some cooperation between you two! Maybe a schedule for the students of one day of INTENSE WARRIOR BODY TRAINING under you, and another day of CRUSHING THE INADEQUACIES OF THEIR WARRIOR MINDS under this guy, and they alternate?
But, the matter at hand. Let's try to clear our mind. This is actually quite difficult. You may be unable to MASTER YOUR WANDERING PSYCHE even after fifteen minutes. But here's how I do it.
Picture a pure black space in your head. Put something simple in the middle, like a FIST or something. That's you.
Now, try not to think about ANYTHING except that little fist in that dark spot. You will. What you do then is, when the thoughts floating around in the black space get close enough to your FIST, you EXPELL THEM using your MENTAL MIGHT REPRESENTED BY A FIST PUNCHING THE IDEAS OUT OF THE BLACK SPACE.
It's alright if you can't.
>>
No. 603850 ID: 2ec61a

yes calm in battle is valuable i agree, but, the point of that calmness is so you remain aware of your surroundings. a raging bull sees only the cape in front of it and misses the knife aimed at it's back. but if you can be angry and aware at the same time, go nuts.
>>
No. 603851 ID: 602cd8
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603851

>Keep your mind clear. That's actually rather difficult.
It is merely TRUE FOCUS on NOTHING. To clear one's MIND is to FILL IT WITH NOTHING, just as one would FILL IT WITH A GOAL.

CHOP shall AMUSE THIS LESSON as being the LONE FIST OF MENTAL STABILITY.

>"Annnd we're at 15 minutes! I could tell some of you had more trouble than others, but it's not to worry, there's no true success or failure here. Only practice. Nonetheless, I must commend Dasrin and Lumei for looking as still as stone for the whole duration. Remember, it's impossible to truly clear one's mind, it's all about letting the thoughts that do show up to pass through without interruption."
>>
No. 603852 ID: 602cd8
File 141645854134.png - (182.14KB , 800x800 , 337.png )
603852

>"Now, balancing. The goal will simply be to go from one end to the other. Ah... although my own colleague, Chop, appears to have taught certain things very well! It looks like everyone can already do this lesson just fine."
>>
No. 603853 ID: 602cd8
File 141645856089.png - (73.86KB , 800x800 , 338.png )
603853

>"The third lesson today will actually be sparring! Now, it's not the sort of sparring you've all grown accustomed to, where it's simplying fighting as though your lives depend on it. No, we are going to learn proper form and technique instead. I will throw a single punch forward, and I want everyone to mimic it, and practice it in perfect form one hundred times. Remember, it's not about power or speed or anything like that, it's about stability and smoothness!"
>"Are we gonna have to punch rocks and stuff?" asks KISSY FACE TWO.
>"Er, what? No, that's insane. You would break your hands! Actually, we do have a volunteer that is willing to be a punching bag - no, not you, Sodalili. It's actually a powerful sparring partner that I hope will show up more often from now on during his stay."

DOES CHOP DARE HOPE FOR A FORMIDABLE BATTLE AHEAD?
>>
No. 603854 ID: 602cd8
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603854

LOVEGNOLL. CHOP DOES NOT DARE TO HOPE.

>"Hilt, whom I think many of you have met already."
>"Haha hey guys. Don't worry, I promise I can take any punch easily. No offense. But, you know. Those little nubbins."
>"In any case, let's take a brief break, as I want everyone in top form for one hundred punches!"
>>
No. 603855 ID: 602cd8
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603855

We are DISMISSED to the BREAK ROOM that is ONLY ALLEGEDLY DIFFERENT FROM THE DOJO ROOM.

>"Geez, Lumei, you seem... intense, today." says KISSY FACE TWO.
>"Uh, er, yeah!" FEARFUL BEDHUGGER JOINS IN. "She looks like she's just coming over a sickness and all, so, you know, maybe we should let her rest?"
>"You're acting a little strange too, you know!"
>>
No. 603857 ID: 2ec61a

you are just filled with vitality after coming over your sickness.

when it comes time, go last to fight lovegnoll, and break his leg. they all seem to think that as kobolds you are incapable of hurting a gnoll with your bare hands.
>>
No. 603858 ID: d90668

Ask them what they thought of this new training vs the old training.
>>
No. 603860 ID: 07a835

>stability and smoothness!
This is ridiculous. Proper form is important, sure, but speed is far more important. Power comes in third, but overwhelming power can make up for sloppy form. Also, there's a hard cap to keeping proper form. There is none for speed and power, save what is physically possible for the trainee.

>>603855
Tell them you hope you're going to get past basic training today. There has to be more to this guy than meditation, balance, and punching drills.
>>
No. 603861 ID: d45ea1

Chop's TRAINING was HIGHLY EFFECTIVE at assisting me in delivering a BRUTAL BEATDOWN on my illness.
I think I GREATLY PREFER CHOP'S TRAINING METHOD. You cannot MEDITATE to rid yourself of THE PUNY PLAGUE WHICH PREVIOUSLY PLAGUED ME.
>>
No. 603864 ID: a19cd5

hey come on now, Lumei's trusting us not to put words in her mouth so let's not.
>>
No. 603865 ID: b33e85

>>603864
This.

Were in an INFILTRATION MISSION which requires EXTREME SUBTLETY
>>
No. 603868 ID: 602cd8
File 141646218169.png - (108.83KB , 800x800 , 341.png )
603868

"The SICKNESS was HARDLY AN OBSTACTLE TOWARDS TRAINING. VITALITY REIGNS SUPREME."
>"Haha, wow." KISSY FACE TWO IDLY RESPONDS.
"What do MY FELLOW STUDENTS think of this MEDITATIVE TRAINING?"
>"It's, I dunno. I mean, it's so much easier than Chop's training, but I dunno if I agree with a lot of it. I mean, before you got here, he was teaching us out to breathe! Something about... letting the inner breath go into the outer breath? It's a really nice break, but I might go back to Chop if this new guy doesn't really go past really basic stuff, and once I can feel my back enough to deal with Chop. I think Dasrin feels the same, but I'm willing to bet Sodalili's gonna want to stick around here. Heheh, you sound a little like Chop, actually, Lumei."
>"Well, yeah, Teegis! I mean... isn't it a little obvi..."
>>
No. 603869 ID: 602cd8
File 141646218707.png - (136.39KB , 800x800 , 342.png )
603869

>"What? What are you talking about?"
>"N... nothing." BEDHUGGER FALLS SILENT.

>"Okay, class! Let's line up to practice punches, and then put it to the test by hitting Hilt."

>Go last, break his leg
While this will prove that even THE PUNIEST OF KOBOLD FISTS can deliver MIGHTY BLOWS, this will also DELIVER A MIGHTY BLOW TO CHOP'S COVER EARLY ON. Nonetheless, CHOP FINDS THIS IDEA TEMPTING, and can CALL MEDICAL WIZARDS TO ATTEND TO A CRYING LOVE GNOLL.
>>
No. 603871 ID: 07a835

>>603869
Can you actually do that though? You're in Lumei's body. She doesn't have CHOP muscles. I do think you should try out some punches and then ramp up the amount of power you put into them. Also, aim at a particularly durable part of Lovegholl. See what this body can do without ruining it or ruining him.
>>
No. 603872 ID: eda819

>break his leg
...nah. Don't blow your cover just yet. As a warrior, you cannot let pride cause you to betray your MISSION.

Hit him hard enough to hurt, though.
>>
No. 603873 ID: 2d9b28

>>603869
Hit him with a punch hard enough to make him cry!
>>
No. 603875 ID: d45ea1

Keep in mind that you are much lower to the ground than usual! You will need to adjust your fighting style so as to be sure not to just punch straight ahead, as I'm sure you're used to. Instead, you must punch up!
Because punching straight ahead at that height would hit him right in his GONADS, which isn't okay during a training exercise.
Also, no breaking of legs. We need to go the whole day without anybody having a clue we pulled a Freaky Friday on them.
>>
No. 603876 ID: d90668

Trust in your students Chop. If you have been training them well they will punch that gnoll so hard he will be walking crooked for weeks before you even get a turn.
>>
No. 603930 ID: 4f004c

>"Well, yeah, Teegis! I mean... isn't it a little obvi..."
BEDHUGGER SEEMS TO HAVE LEARNED TO RECOGNIZE HIS FELLOW WARRIORS FOR WHO THEY TRULY ARE. This is IMPRESSIVE, but perhaps he is LIVING TO HIS NAMESAKE and HAVING VISIONS IN HIS SLEEP.
>Because punching straight ahead at that height would hit him right in his GONADS, which isn't okay during a training exercise.
I thought Lumei was taller than that, and was just sitting down or something.
CHOP should remember that he is posing as PUNYLOCKS right now, who is a WARRIOR WIZARD. While Chop can only cast MAGIC OF THE FISTS, he should keep in mind that PUNY WIZARDS ARE NOT AS STRONG AS WARRIORS, and SHOW THE MIGHTY STRENGTH OF HIS RESTRAINT and FOLLOW ORDERS LIKE A GOOD SOLDIER.
>>
No. 603945 ID: 9f9d47

>break his leg
Don't blow your cover by doing anything of Chop Magnitude.
Let your students show off if they please, but try to stay under the radar yourself.
Don't hit him much harder than your students do, and certainly try not to break him.
>>
No. 603981 ID: c22069

Just hit him hard enough to give him a dead leg or at least Paresthesia, like when a limb falls asleep so it feel funny like pins and needles.
>>
No. 604001 ID: 27f3a1

The problem is Chop is this other instructor seems to teach the soft ways of the fist. Unlike the GLORIOUS hard ways of Chop, this sissy style is for lovebolds and little princesses who don't want to get dirty and rough. In any case, give a good thrust to knock down the lovegnoll among a mighty shout. And then maybe ask the instructor how he would knock down the lovegnoll. (Really I'm seeing Chop as a teacher of hard martial arts and this new one dealing with soft marital arts. The fighting styles and empathizes are different in each case and may fit the builds of some students better. I'm of the mind to send the sissy weak ones who can't handle Chop's MIGHTY KOBOLDNESS to be conditioned here. But find a way to maintain standards. )
>>
No. 604030 ID: b33e85

>>604001
We hardly have any idea of how this instructor teaches until they've had time to find the strengths and weaknesses of their students and to get things kicked into gear. They're starting with the basics to have a "net" of sorts to catch any stragglers with. Although from the looks of it, it won't accelerate for a little while. Take the comment from Kissy Face Two, "and once I can feel my back enough to deal with Chop", also, you explore their limits by pushing their limits, as the very nature of improvement demands, and things like proper breathing and mental calmness follow. Things would definitely look soft at the beginning when you flipped it around.

The ultimate point where things top out depends on the instructor, and since it takes a while for this method to kick into gear it is going to take a while to see how far it goes with this one.

Be patient, if this instructor is of any serious merit they will identify you as one at a higher level during this process and seek to push you harder as necessary. We need to look over more than the cover of the book, and we haven't even finished reading the first word of the title yet.
>>
No. 604396 ID: 602cd8
File 141669480587.png - (143.83KB , 800x800 , 343.png )
604396

>Chop should keep in mind that PUNY WIZARDS ARE NOT AS STRONG AS WARRIORS
CHOP finds LUMEI'S BODY TO BE ADEQUATE FOR POWERFUL PUNCHES, yet does not have the MENTAL FORTITUDE TO BRING IT TO ITS OWN LIMIT.

NONETHELESS, Chop shall employ MAXIMUM RESTRAINT to maintain THE DISCRETION OF A KOBOLD IN A DWARVEN DEN.

ALL WEAKLINGS practice ONE HUNDRED TINY PUNCHES, then employ AFOREMENTIONED TINY PUNCHES on LOVEGNOLL, reminiscent of A DRIZZLE ATOP A BOULDER. ALL ATTACKS are aimed at LOVEGNOLL'S FUNNY SPOTS, as LOVEGNOLL iys given a case of THE GIGGLYFITS. PERFORMANCE TO BE EXPECTED from THOSE WHO SEEK TRAINING FOR THE NEWLYBORN.
>>
No. 604397 ID: 602cd8
File 141669481163.png - (187.08KB , 800x800 , 344.png )
604397

LUMEI APPLIES GREAT WARRIOR WIZARD PUNCH OF RESTRAINT into GNOLLISH LEG MUSCLE.

>"OH. Ow. Dang, Lumei, you're really into it. That actually kinda hurt!"

LOVEGNOLL creates a BLATANT ATTEMPT at HIDING HIS SHAMEFULLY FRAGILE GNOLL HIDE. Perhaps LUMEI UNDERESTIMATED THE LOVEGNOLL, however, as LUMEI AIMED to turn LOVEGNOLL into KNEELGNOLL.

LUMEI will investigate this KITTEN CLASS with GREAT PATIENCE, but when LUMEI has made the CLASS VERDICT, LOVEGNOLL will be CRYGNOLL to FOREVER EXTINGUISH BODY-RELATED EXCUSES FROM FELLOW PUPILS.
>>
No. 604399 ID: 602cd8
File 141669489777.png - (151.88KB , 800x800 , 345.png )
604399

CHOP, inhabited by the MIND OF LUMEI, or possibly LUMEI, possessing the BODY OF CHOP, stands in the DOJO OF COAL.

Or, at least, that's how I think Chop would phrase it as.

I'm not actually sure what to do, now. If anything. I mean, Chop did say to train my magic, but...

>"How do you feel, Lumei?" Sheemus asks.
"Like... like an unstoppable wall of rock. With a little bit of fluff at the top."
>"You even have his expression!"
"I... can't really change it. It's... actually locked in an ANGRY FACE."
>"Can you... not yell?"
>"I can not!... but it ACTUALLY TAKES LESS EFFORT TO YELL SOMEHOW I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I THINK THIS IS HIS NORMAL VOICE."
>>
No. 604400 ID: 07a835

>>604399
Are you saying Chop has no magical capacity? C'mon, give it some effort.
>>
No. 604402 ID: eda819

>>604399
So... Chop's normal voice is so loud he has to work hard to restrain it? That makes a distressing amount of sense.

Don't yell. Actually trying to yell will probably shatter skulls or rock.

Actually, be very careful moving around. You'll probably break furniture, or the rock, with very little effort. Maybe basic tests of your control are in order?
>>
No. 604407 ID: bb78f2

Hey, you know, this is the first time to have some fun with Chop.
See if his body has some grace. Start breakdancing or perform ballet or something.
>>
No. 604412 ID: 2ec61a

try crushing a rock.
>>
No. 604414 ID: 31cc45

>>604402
Indeed, first thing to do is test the body. Walk around a bit. Grab an expendable rock. Have it thrown at you to grab it in midair. Try some magic on it. Etc.
>>
No. 604449 ID: 3f0c1b

>>604399
You are Chop, you possess all the powers of Chop. There is only one thing to do, go mad with power.
>>
No. 604461 ID: 53688c

This is the body of someone who follows Chop's training regiment perfectly every single day without fail.
This is what you would feel like if you did the same. Don't you feel inspired to train harder?

That said, test out Chop's body! Smash some boulders or something. This is your chance to let loose and have some fun with no repercussions!
>>
No. 604628 ID: 602cd8
File 141676846729.png - (82.04KB , 800x800 , 346.png )
604628

I can still use magic, it's just a mental thing.

But, I'm probably never going to get to use a body like this again! That's like being served the best, biggest meal in the world, and being told to go sit in the corner and eat that cornmeal that you like but have every day.

I grab a rock to squeeze on it. I think I have decent control on it, because I can squeeze it without breaking it. I'll squeeze on it as hard as I can now.
>>
No. 604629 ID: 602cd8
File 141676847214.png - (139.25KB , 800x800 , 347.png )
604629

oh

Is this really how strong I would get if I trained under Chop? He might just be special, I don't know.

>Go mad with power
I might go mad with power. But what would I even do?
>>
No. 604630 ID: 2ec61a

this also means he totally went super easy on you when he knocked you guys out when you fist got here. he could of probably hit you so hard you you wouldn't have any bones left.
>>
No. 604640 ID: eda819

>I might go mad with power. But what would I even do?
Make a brand new cave by punching something? Or, um. What do you know of, nearby, that you really wish wasn't?

Whatever you do, just make sure you don't accidentally kill the body-swap mage.

Oh! Test if Chop feels pain. Is he so tough he doesn't actually know that coals hurt? Maybe hot coals are just a nice relaxing massage to him.
>>
No. 604641 ID: 07a835

Was there anything you wanted to smash? Because you could smash it now.

Just for fun you should get the biggest rock you can find and lift it. Or go to the dining hall and announce you wish to lift every kobold there at once.
>>
No. 604654 ID: e6fcea

Remember; you may have Chop's body, but you do not have his discipline and training to use it to it's fullest extent. Or safely.

So whatever you do, be responsible. I wouldn't want to find out what Chop would do should you tarnish his rep through misuse of his body, if I were in your shoes.
>>
No. 604673 ID: 602cd8
File 141677174092.png - (167.98KB , 800x800 , 348.png )
604673

>Or go to the dining hall and announce you wish to lift every kobold there at once.
Actually, everyone in the main dojo branch is doing their daily regiments, and it would be kind of mean to interrupt them from it.

>Test if Chop feels pain. Is he so tough he doesn't actually know that coals hurt? Maybe hot coals are just a nice relaxing massage to him.
Ah. Y-yeah, it does actually hurt! Sort of. Less. Like, he has a really tough hide, but, uh, it's not a nice relaxing massage.

Actually, maybe it is. Maybe for him it really is, even though for me it still kinda hurts!

Oh, I didn't even notice I was folding my arms. That's kind of funny muscle memory. It's really comfy, actually, no wonder he does it all the time.
>>
No. 604674 ID: 602cd8
File 141677176156.png - (182.44KB , 800x800 , 349.png )
604674

>Make a new cavern
Yeah. Yeah I can do that!

"Sheemus, Stasrubis, I'm going out for a little bit! I want to expand my room."

>"Be careful." says Stasrubis.

I've had a lot of loose rocks I haven't had the time or energy to deal with, and there's enough room in the back to expand a little bit. I'm hoping to some day decorate so that I can actually invite people in. I don't think Chop will mind me exercising in his body, either, if I still practice my magic at the same time.

I start punching the rocks, and... it's a lot more effective than it should be! They crack, and I'm able to sort them out in a pile. I can probably get a net to get them out of my room, too.

>"CHOP. CHOP!" a girl in the hall starts yelling. "What the fuck are you doing?!"
>>
No. 604676 ID: 602cd8
File 141677177865.png - (165.67KB , 800x800 , 350.png )
604676

Oh, it's... that one girl that Chop calls the rock eater.

>"Do you want a cave-in, you lumbering ogre?!"

She's the only one who ever talks to Chop like this and doesn't get a mouth full of coal.
>>
No. 604678 ID: 07a835

>>604676
Ask her to show you how to do this properly.
>>
No. 604680 ID: e6fcea

That was the opposite of being responsible.

Refer to rock eater's expertise in mining to expand You- Lum- PUNYLOCK's room.

If questioned as to why the room is being expanded, say it is in return for a favor.
>>
No. 604684 ID: eda819

>What the fuck are you doing?
Time to play dumb.

CHOP is PUNCHING ROCKS.

Then let her complain at you. She'll probably then shoo you away so she can shore up the room and make it not collapse, which is probably good if you're going to be sleeping here.
>>
No. 604686 ID: 0bc138

tell her the true, she'll think it's hilarious
>>
No. 604688 ID: 4f004c

If CHOP CAUSES A CAVEIN, then L--PUNYLOCKS WILL HAVE EXERCISE IN CLEARING HER ROOM. If ROCKEATER DOESN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN, then she will BUILD SUPPORT BEAMS WITH HER BARE HANDS.
As for WHAT CHOP IS DOING IN PUNYLOCK'S ROOM, he has NOTICED THAT SHE HAS NOT HAD THE PROPER SETTING FOR MENTAL TRAINING. Chop will EXPAND THE ROOM SO THAT SHE CAN BUILD HER OWN MEDITATION ZONE. WITH HER BARE HANDS. Because THAT IS WHAT CHOP EXPECTS OF HIS STUDENTS.
>>
No. 604694 ID: a19cd5

Profess Chop's undying love for her
>>
No. 604699 ID: 602cd8
File 141677457453.png - (108.25KB , 800x800 , 351.png )
604699

>That was the opposite of being responsible.
I didn't know it could cause a cave in! I thought I was just doing a little task.

>Profess Chop's undying love for her
That is definitely the opposite of responsible! I've got to try to fix this.

uh...

"CHOP is PUNCHING ROCKS."
>"And you may as well be punching US."
"CHOP is EXPANDING M-LUMEI'S - " wait, Punyl-wait no Chop called me Lumei last - "ROOM. LUMEI requires a GRAND CATHEDRAL OF MEDITATION, as well as CHOP DOING SO IN RETURN FOR A FAVOR."
>"What part of 'you are going to kill the whole fucking west block' are you dumb about?"

Oh. Oh, wait, that big of a cave in? Geez. Okay. Okay.

"If the ROCK EATER does not wish for SUCH A CAVE IN, then perhaps ASSISTING CHOP IN PROPER MINING PROCEDURE IS AT HAND?"
>"You owe a favor to one of your students? That is soft for you, you big buffoon.... yeah, you know what, fine? I'll mine this out. I'll even polish the whole damn place. Except if you're doing this as a favor, and then instead I do it, then that means you owe me a favor."

>Tell her the truth
... maybe I should?
>>
No. 604700 ID: eda819

>... maybe I should?
Confess. No matter how bad this is, it'll only be worse when Chop finds out he owes her a favor because of you. Just imagine the punishment.

Um. I'm not actually Chop. I'm Lumei. Chop just wanted to borrow my body to investigate this new dojo, and I guess I got a little carried away. Sorry.
>>
No. 604721 ID: d90668

Any favor I give you has to happen in the next hour if we make that deal. Cause of reasons.
>>
No. 604724 ID: 846420

>>604700
yeah, I don't even want to imagine your punishment if...ONCE! he find out
>>
No. 604726 ID: 602cd8
File 141677891745.png - (98.62KB , 800x800 , 352.png )
604726

"Okay. Shabin, was it?"

She stares at me.

"I'm not actually Chop. You know that new instructor that came here?"
>"No."
".... well, there is, and CHOP wished to INVESTIGATE what the new class was about. So, we BODY SWAPPED, and my body is currently in the new class."
>"... hm. Alright. Yeah. So... you know what Chop's gonna do to you if he finds out you're using his body for personal gain?"
".... would it be too much to ask you to keep this on the down low? It was a bad idea, but I got excited being able to crush rocks with my BARE HANDS and stuff."
>"Girl, I'm not gonna blackmail you or some shitty thing like that. I think you've got nerve. And you got me some good news. You're not bad, Punylocks. You're not bad. I'll help you out with your new room later. Just quit fucking around, this cave is fragile."
"Ah... thanks, Shabin." Okay.... I'm just going to go back to the Dojo, and maybe ask Stasrubis about what Chop does for exercise. I don't wanna mess everything up.
>>
No. 604727 ID: 602cd8
File 141677893047.png - (138.46KB , 800x800 , 353.png )
604727

After PUNCHING THE LOVE MARGINALLY OUTSIDE OF THE LOVEGNOLL, CHOP WITHIN LUMEI has been TASKED, with other FELLOW STUDENTS, with the TASK OF DODGEBALL.

EXCEPT INSTEAD OF ROCKS AND COAL IT IS WEAK FLUFF.
>>
No. 604728 ID: 602cd8
File 141677894062.png - (154.89KB , 800x800 , 354.png )
604728

>"Er, Lumei, are you trying hard at all?" asks the INSTRUCTOR THAT LUMEI SHALL WITHHOLD DUBBING WEAKLING NAMES FOR NOW.
"I feel INADEQUATE NEED for DODGING SUCH HARMLESS OBJECTS OF FLIGHT.
>"I know we're not using actual rocks, but think of them like they are. That way, even if you still get hit a bunch, you can keep training, unlike if they were actual rocks, in which you'd have to stop to heal, or worse!"
".... THEN I SHALL AMUSE THIS TRAINING OF TRAINING.
>"Ah, continue please, everyone, but it sounds like we have a new visitor."
>>
No. 604729 ID: 602cd8
File 141677896079.png - (188.85KB , 800x800 , 355.png )
604729

ROCK EATER. LUMEI can only SPECULATE the LEVEL OF INCONVENIENCE ROCK EATER BRINGS.
>>
No. 604730 ID: 602cd8
File 141677906524.png - (119.95KB , 800x800 , 356.png )
604730

>"Hi! Are you here for the class?"
>"No. I'm here for... you know how citizens can pull students off for missions if it's necessary, right? Well, I got an important one."
>"Ah! Well, we do have 5 students here. More experienced, official fighters are with Chop if you need that, but I'm sure if a student suits your needs, then one of mine will surely volunteer."
>"No, no." says ROCK EATER.
>>
No. 604731 ID: 602cd8
File 141677908158.png - (119.83KB , 800x800 , 357.png )
604731

>"It has to be her. Lumei."

THE LEVEL OF INCONVENIENCE IS GREAT.
>>
No. 604733 ID: 07a835

>>604731
Tell her you're busy, can't it wait until after training?
>>
No. 604734 ID: eda819

...what TASK is so IMPORTANT as to merit INTERRUPTING TRAINING but so UNIMPORTANT to be ENTRUSTED to a PUNY STUDENT, such as as MYSELF.
>>
No. 604738 ID: b1a3f9

>>604731
See what the PUNY ROCK EATER has for you, perhaps it is a quest of GREAT IMPORTANCE.
>>
No. 604743 ID: 602cd8
File 141678201488.png - (167.34KB , 800x800 , 358.png )
604743

"As SHABIN can see, I am RATHER PRE-OCCUPIED WITH TRAINING. What TASK is so IMPORTANT as to INTERRUPT TRAINING but so UNIMPORTANT to be ENTRUSTED to a PUNY STUDENT, such as as MYSELF?"
>"The kind that involves both physical labor and water magic. Doesn't need a lot of water magic. Just gotta clean some grime off the walls. You can do that, right? Water magic?"
"This TASK sounds UNNECESSARY. While CLEAN WALLS are an IMPORTANT PART OF ANY RESPECTABLE CAVE, it is NON-IMPERITIVE. LUMEI recommends GETTING A VOLUNTEER."
>"It's a long way away from any water source. It's going to take 10 times the work involved to haul water and buckets all that distance manually than it would to have a single water mage on staff, and all the water mages are busy teaching whole classes. You telling me your physical training here is so important you're gonna make everyone else work ten times as much?"
>>
No. 604744 ID: eda819

Point out that, unfortunately, you have recently been neglecting your water magic training, and would not be able generate enough water.

This is true. The other students should even back you up.
>>
No. 604745 ID: 07a835

>>604743
Tell her you will do it as part of your magic training routine. Ask how long it should take, and ask the new trainer if there's going to be a gap in the training you can do it in.
>>
No. 604754 ID: b1a3f9

>>604743
tell her your HORRIBLE cold has hurt your ability to create MAGIC OF WATER and it must be trained LATER.
>>
No. 615780 ID: 602cd8
File 141965956446.png - (138.53KB , 800x800 , 359.png )
615780

"I have been NEGLECTING my WATER MAGIC TRAINING. Although I am FULLY WILLING to ACCEPT YOUR TASK as PRACTICE, I must warn that my WATER CREATION LEVELS ARE UNIMPRESSIVE. INSTRUCTOR. Is there a FUTURE GAP IN THE TRAINING of which I may DEPART FOR THIS TASK."
>"Oh, yes. Shabin, we're going to take a break in a couple of hours! If you can wait that long, I think it would be best."
>"... ugh. Okay. Fine. As long as you show up today, I'm fine with that." CONCEDES THE ROCK EATER.
>>
No. 615793 ID: 742b4a

>>615780
Victoryyyy! Give Rock Eater a winning smile and thank her for her understanding.
>>
No. 615797 ID: 5f402f

Well. Looks like we've bought ourselves several more hours of CUNNING ESPIONAGE of INEFFECTIVE WEAKLING TRAINING.
>>
No. 615819 ID: bdfc23

>>615780
Make sure ROCK EATER leaves, try to escape before time runs out so you can make the swap again with Lumei.
>>
No. 618427 ID: 602cd8
File 142052269754.png - (171.36KB , 800x800 , 360.png )
618427

Rock Eater VACATES THE PREMISES to avoid AWKWARD STAND AROUNDS.

TINY TRAINING TIME RESUMES, but knowing this INSTRUCTOR OF RESTING, a GENEROUS BREAK will soon be handed out. Either LUMEI can continue INTENSE OBSERVATION or RETURN TRUE-LUMEI MIND to TRUE-LUMEI BODY.
>>
No. 618432 ID: 42443a

>RETURN TRUE-LUMEI MIND to TRUE-LUMEI BODY
You mean QUIT?! CHOP will not FAIL a MISSION merely to avoid the INTERFERENCE of a TROUBLEMAKING ROCK EATER.

CHOP will overcomes these PUNY OBSTACLES with MAXIMUM DETERMINATION.
>>
No. 618435 ID: c0c685

>>618432
I agree! Continue with the observation!
>>
No. 618438 ID: ea0ad9

>>618432
Yes. And while Chop has NOT HAD A CHANCE TO PRACTICE STRENGTH OF A WIZARDLY NATURE, he is NOT ONE TO BACK DOWN.
>>
No. 618441 ID: 687279

I suppose if you stick with it you'll be able to try out that magic thing Lumei's got going for her.
>>
No. 650199 ID: dd338c
File 143502312048.png - (110.62KB , 800x800 , 361.png )
650199

LUMEI'S BACKDOWN COUNTER shall remain at ZERO POINT ZERO for this MISSION OF INTENSE EYEBALLING.

>"Okay, class! For the next two hours, we will practice our relaxation muscles!"
>>
No. 650202 ID: dd338c
File 143502332999.png - (111.42KB , 800x800 , 362.png )
650202

>"Just as muscles can be used to move yourself and others, it can also be used as a calm lake."

CHOP'S INNER MIND is MADE FOR BATTLE AND ACTION, and is AT A GREAT CLIFF'S EDGE for PERFORMING MORE NOTHING.
>>
No. 650203 ID: e114bc

>>650202
Alright screw this. Object, and say that you've already done meditation in this training session. Ask if sitting around doing nothing is really going to make you a better fighter.

...ask him to prove his martial prowess. How do you know he knows what he's talking about?
>>
No. 650206 ID: d90668

Ask him to demonstrate the combat applications of this training.
>>
No. 650207 ID: ab7529

Can you PAST nothing? Push through to the OTHER SIDE? CHOP is MIGHTY but no FOOL, and understands the mystery that is NEGATIVE NUMBERS. He shall not shoot for ZERO.

Do not stop at a CALM LAKE. Your MUSCLES will RELAX so GREATLY they will become a RAGING FLOOD. You will OVERWHELM ALL around you with your MIGHTY RELAXATIONS.

Management is not responsible if perfect mental clarity and relaxation with a focus on mighty floods results in unintentionally unleashing a mighty flood of water magic.
>>
No. 650945 ID: 840526

Relaxation muscles?
She must be on to you! You have ALL the muscles and you are sure you have no such muscle, yeah?
Relaxation is the opposite of using muscle after all!
She's trying to catch you in the midst of your cunning spy mission and then report you!
>>
No. 650952 ID: f8077d

Ok so knowing how to relax is important for fighting, because you want your muscles to be loose so that they move fast until just exactly the moment that a strike lands. Like, if this was training where you were being told to keep yourself loose and calm while being subjected to things that would make you tense up, that's be worth something.

But there are no such things as relaxation muscles, so this sounds like quackery. It might be a metaphor, in which case you can ask the instructor where your relaxation muscles are. No reason for you not to ask stupid-sounding questions while in this body! I mean, it might make Lumei look dumb, but you can repay her later.
>>
No. 651334 ID: dd338c
File 143546384461.png - (104.31KB , 800x800 , 363.png )
651334

>Can you PAST nothing?
CHOP DOES NOT STOOP TO NEGATIVE PERCENTILES. ALL of CHOP'S MUSCLES, which have EXTENDED to LUMEI'S PUNY BUT MARGINALLY TRAINED MUSCLES, are THOUSANDS OF PERCENT POSITIVE.

"LUMEI requests a DISPLAY OF WHERE THESE RELAXATION MUSCLES LIE.
>"Exactly the same place as your regular muscles! The only difference is that it's important to have them do nothing as much as doing something. In other words, to exercise perfect control of them is the goal of this exercise."
"LUMEI admits to this being ALMOST REASONABLE, if WORDED LIKE A DRUNKEN NOBLE. LUMEI would not like another DISPLAY, this time of the MARTIAL APPLICATIONS OF SUCH TRAINING."
>"Are you challenging me to a fight, Lumei?"
"CORRECT."
>>
No. 651335 ID: dd338c
File 143546390854.png - (123.93KB , 800x800 , 364.png )
651335

HE FLOATS to the BODY OF WATER IN WHICH I CONTROL, and SENDS A PUNCH.

>"Er-"
"LUMEI casts ANALYZE PUNCH LEVEL 5.

-This punch is WELL PRACTICED and DELIBERATE, and has been practiced THOUSANDS OF TIME.
-It has been praciced THOUSANDS OF TIMES in the COMFORT THAT A STABLE HOME BRINGS.
-This TUTOR has been in a fight FEWER THAN TEN TIMES.
-His STANCE is NEARLY PERFECT, but the BRIEFEST OF FOUL WINDS shall DESTROY ITS PERFECTION, as the GRAND GLASS SCULPTURE would SHATTER under a CRUDE HAMMER.
-He knows MANY FACTS of fighting, but UNDERSTANDS NONE. Just as the wizards believe they fully understand the rocks by merely GAZING UPON THIS VISUAL IMAGES OF ROCK AND WRITTEN WORDS ABOUT ROCK, they cannot match the FULL UNDERSTANDING the ROCK MINERS have gained from SEEING, FEELING, SMELLING, HEARING, AND PERHAPS TASTING ROCK.

>"Wow, I haven't had a punch blocked like that since Chop visited my town!"

Upon CHOP'S FAILED RECOLLECTION of this individual's identity, CHOP senses the OOZING PRESENCE of MILD CURIOSITY.
>>
No. 651337 ID: bd8b82

apply your own punch. just remember lumei does not have perfect punching fists.
>>
No. 651338 ID: d90668

Hmm this little guy has promise but he needs more training. You need to train him Chop.

Ask him when and where he met Chop.
>>
No. 651340 ID: db46ec

Kinda sounds like this guy would be good as an assistant, maybe? I mean, Chop's training seems to focus on becoming strong, fast and tough, without so much good technique. Though maybe it's just what we've seen so far, that the recruits we've seen are still at an early stage where they're just being toughened up, and technique would come later.

Still, if he were a true warrior, he would have sensed Chop's might spirit within, just by the meeting of fists. Perhaps we could bait out more of his story by reminding him Lumei has trained with Chop, so that might account for the blocking, and that she would like to know more. Ask him, you thought he said he hadn't met Chop yet?

Also, Chop, you should say that now you have just realized that, since you came in late, you didn't catch his name.
>>
No. 651341 ID: ab7529

I think your RESPONSE should be OBVIOUS.

Provide that BRIEFEST OF FOUL WINDS. Show him the UNDERSTANDING he lacks.

Make him understand a punch as the miner understands rock. Make him TASTE FIST.
>>
No. 651365 ID: 840526

This instructor does not seem to be much in the way of a fighter. Like at all. He should not be training future warriors because they will not be prepared.
That said, he might have some insight into training techniques that you have not thought of, as long as we do not start handing out breaks like they were oxygen!

Thinking about it, Perhaps his training would be better suited to people not going out on the battlefield? It might not prepare people for war but it could certainly improve general health around here, if the kobolds have free time to indulge in such things.
>>
No. 651401 ID: dd338c
File 143547668576.png - (102.19KB , 800x800 , 365.png )
651401

CHOP shall ENTERTAIN MARGINAL THOUGHT on the POSSIBILITY OF QUESTIONABLE TRAINING FOR QUESTIONABLE SOLDIERS in these caves, but for now, Chop must PUNCH AWAY DELUSIONS OF COMPETENCY.

While LUMEI has in possession of ZERO PERFECT PUNCHING FISTS, GREAT SKILL AND DEDICATION can turn the BABIEST OF KITTENS into THE DESTROYER OF COLOSSUS.
>>
No. 651402 ID: dd338c
File 143547670073.png - (143.18KB , 800x800 , 366.png )
651402

WHAT?

THE KISSY FACES DARE ASSAULT THEIR BELOVED COMRADE?

While their efforts are LIKE MORTAL ENEMIES ON THE BATTLEFIELD AWKWARDLY APOLOGIZING FOR THEIR ACTIONS, LUMEI contains SURPRISE for their interference and defending this INSTRUCTOR OF RELAXATION.

>"Whoa, whoa, sorry, instructor, we're gonna talk to Lumei for a minute! Sorry, she's not normally like this!" blathers KISSY FACE ONE.

LUMEI may wish to HEAR THEM OUT, but LUMEI may wish to PRACTICE HER GREAT ARTISTIC PROWESS by TRANSFORMING THE IMAGE OF STANDING KOBOLDS INTO HUDDLING KOBOLDS.
>>
No. 651403 ID: bd8b82

backflip over them to break hold an slam their heads together to knock them out.
>>
No. 651404 ID: ab7529

I suppose HEARING THEM OUT could qualify as some kind of TEST of your students.

Do they have a WORTHY CONCERN? Some GREATER PLAN? Perhaps you should give the the chance to prove if they are TRULY PATHETIC and in need of REMEDIAL TRAINING, or if they are ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS THAN TRULY PATHETIC and capable of GRADUAL IMPROVEMENT.
>>
No. 651405 ID: d90668

Hear them out. You only beat on your student when its to teach them something.

Besides you need to work at convincing them that this training is not in there best interest. Sure its easier and they get to be lazy but are they really being properly prepared to defend themselves and there families?

You need to remind them why your/Chop's training is so hard. Its not because Chop is mean but because the world is a hard place and you need to be strong enough to stand up to it on your own.
>>
No. 651417 ID: e114bc

>>651402
Go on, talk to them. You probably shouldn't seriously harm the wussy instructor anyway. That would invalidate the challenge.
>>
No. 651426 ID: dd338c
File 143548060118.png - (109.98KB , 800x800 , 367.png )
651426

LUMEI allows KISSY FACES to drag off LUMEI'S BODY to a separate room.

>"Geez, what is wrong with you, Lumei?!" asks KISSY FACE TWO. "I know you respect Chop and all that, but let us get a break! Some of us can barely handle chop, so this is like our break!"
>"Yeah, uh, I'm betting that any of us could actually beat up this instructor." KISSY FACE ONE STATES. "But then he might not feel that he has any place instructing us. We just want to take it easy for a bit. We were planning on, I dunno, going to Chop's place once or twice, then here once or twice, just, well, do something we feel like we can survive through. So, please don't give the instructor a hard time - he looks up to Chop, too."
>"Yeah!" KISSY FACE TWO RESUMES. "Apparently Chop visited his village once when kid, and he got inspired learn martial arts. It was actually a really peaceful hidden village, so he isn't like any battle hardened vet."
>>
No. 651427 ID: ab7529

>a break
>We were planning on, I dunno, going to Chop's place once or twice, then here once or twice, just, well, do something we feel like we can survive through
Hmm. Does CHOP even understand BREAKS? Is there is place for alternating between the FIRE OF TRAINING and this WEAK SISSY WATER? FORGE and QUENCH?

>Apparently Chop visited his village once when kid, and he got inspired learn martial arts. It was actually a really peaceful hidden village, so he isn't like any battle hardened vet
CHOP will have to see to it the this instructor finds PROPER BATTLE to CORRECT this FAULT.

What say you, Chop? Have your students UNEARTHED a GEM OF WISDOM or do they speak NOTHING BUT FOOLISHNESS?
>>
No. 651429 ID: e114bc

>>651420
Well that's cute. He really is teaching rubbish though. Ask the teacher for his story, in full. After being inspired by Chop, who did he talk to and learn about this weird style of training?
>>
No. 651435 ID: bd8b82

a break is when you are incapable of moving, anything less is being lazy. we must find the story of who showed this instructor the style of wimps.
>>
No. 651439 ID: 79c188

>>651426
This combat form belongs in an arena, not a battlefield. For defenders of the den, it is toxic.
>>
No. 651442 ID: db46ec

>"Yeah, uh, I'm betting that any of us could actually beat up this instructor." KISSY FACE ONE STATES. "But then he might not feel that he has any place instructing us. We just want to take it easy for a bit.

That's dishonest! This instructor aspires to be a great warrior, and for all those with such aspirations, one of the first rules is to know your own strengths and weaknesses, so you know what you need to do to improve! You're allowing this guy to believe he's a better fighter than he is. Wanting to take a break is one thing, but taking advantage of someone to do it is another level of terrible! How do you think he'll feel when he finds out what you really think of him? He will eventually!

There's no reason this guy can't keep teaching. Think of it this way, as things were before this guy came, anyone who wanted to learn to fight at all had to come to Chop. But Chop trains people to be full-on professional warriors, and that's not suitable for, say, some mage who wants to spend a week learning proper not-getting-stabbed-before-running-away technique. This guy's training won't make TRUE WARRIORS, but it's still better than no training at all, and would be much more manageable for people who don't want to fully dedicate themselves to being fighters. So perhaps Chop could still be the master class, and this guy could do an introductory level?
>>
No. 651522 ID: fbc59e

He should be shown the difference between a true warrior and his knowledge.
Someone who could say, match his skill but has actual physical power I think would be the best way.
Don't just crush him, but apply enough power to demonstrate his problem.
catch his punches, and deliver your own with enough force he can't easily block it.
Demonstrate that his way is a weak BREEZE blowing around a MIGHTY MOUNTAIN.
>>
No. 651550 ID: bb78f2

>>651426
"If this man teaches these kobolds, it means havING TINY, SOFT SOLDIERS. AND DEAD ONES. Do you NOT remember the warnings of the KOBOLD WITH ONE EYE? LUMEI ENJOYS HAVING One HUNDRED PERCENT more vision than a CYCLOPS! Would you like to have HALF of your PERCENTAGES OF SENSES? HOW ABOUT A QUARTER of the COMMON PERCENTAGE? Or have THOUSANDS of PERCENTS put into the ACT of being a MOTIONLESS CORPSE."
>>
No. 651561 ID: bd8b82

>>651442
that's a good idea. he can be for those that cannot dedicate themselves fully to the ways of strong. but chop's warriors need to be at full power at all times.
>>
No. 651584 ID: dd338c
File 143555930940.png - (103.57KB , 800x800 , 368.png )
651584

"You are both FOOLISH. Perhaps CHOP shall entertain the notion that this instructor can teach UNDEDICATED NOT-SOLDIERS into perhaps NOT GETTING STABBED UPON FLEEING FOR THEIR LIVES, but all of us are DEDICATED TRUE-SOLDIERS IN TRAINING. CHOP shall accept NO HALFSIES ON THIS MATTER, and DEDICATED SOLDIERS OF ONE HUNDRED PERCENT BATTLE are required to PROTECT THESE CAVERNS FROM DANGER."
>"Argh... you're probably right, Lumei. I think you know Chop best, at least, out of any of us. I guess we will just have to make a decision for ourselves which way to go."

Chop could DISPLAY THE INSTRUCTOR'S INCOMPETENCE within LUMEI to SHOW HE CAN BE BESTED with COMPARABLE PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES, but DEBRIEFING may REVEAL LUMEI'S TRUE IDENTITY AS LUMEICHOP. Therefore, CHOP may think it best to have ONE STUDENT lay a CHALLENGE OF FORMAL BATTLE to this INSTRUCTOR. Only upon the instructor's REALIZATION OF HIS TRUE LEVEL shall Chop consider OPENING THE GATES OF NEW IDEAS that boast of KIND-OF-NOT-REALLY SOLDIERS.
>>
No. 651589 ID: e114bc

>>651584
Well, it would be completely unfair for you to use Lumei's body to beat him up. So yeah, just send one of the weaker members against him. Both as a demonstration that he's not hot shit, and to illustrate that THEY are getting stronger. They probably don't even realize what your training is accomplishing. If they see how strong they have become, that may raise their morale, allow them to train with a better state of mind.
>>
No. 651625 ID: 88960e

Don't reveal yourself. You've presented the dilemma to your students- this is now a test of their convictions. Are they STRONG enough in WILL and MIND to make the right decision?
>>
No. 651644 ID: e607cd

Sending one of the new recruits to challenge him would be good for them.
Or on the off chance that this guy's approach has some kind of practical benefit, that would show it. I mean lets be honest here, Chop. You could beat any of your OWN students too. You beating this guy doesn't demonstrate anything about where he stands.
>>
No. 651649 ID: 8fd9ec

should we get Stasrubis to fight him? he is our most senior pupil, the fact he has one eye and arm should show that even with such handicaps a chop pupil can still beat the other trainer.
>>
No. 651867 ID: bd8b82

>>651644
except chop isn't in his body right now. he is lumei, and she is only as strong as chop has trained her so far.
>>
No. 651868 ID: e114bc

>>651867
That's not quite right. Chop's discipline allows him to use far more of Lumei's muscle strength. Also Lumei is just generally stronger than the average kobold because she's bigger.
>>
No. 652247 ID: 840526

Putting the instructor in their place might not be a bad idea, just encourage them to do such a thing and hopefully it will happen.

The instructor clearly has a lot to learn, and getting them to steal your students was not a cool move after all and something needs to be done about that.

But having someone to instruct the basics might not be a bad idea, as long as they start teaching real lessons and not cuddle time baby lessons.
>>
No. 652390 ID: b8208b

Don't directly challenge the instructor, Chop. It's got to be one of your students.
That said, he's genuinely trying to walk in your footsteps, however feeble his training may seem.
It's less important that he be humiliated and more important that he understand the necessity of struggle in growing stronger.
>>
No. 653026 ID: dd338c
File 143603848612.png - (125.68KB , 800x800 , 369.png )
653026

THE CHOP THAT LIES WITHIN LUMEI shall SEND A RECRUIT to show this instructor THE ERROR OF SUCH INEXPERIENCED WAYS. Should this LECTURER ACCEPT THIS LECTURE, Chop shall continue to ENTERTAIN THE PROSPECTS of WEAK SOLDIER CREATION that some might call BASIC TRAINING.

HOWEVER, there are MANY RECRUITS. THREE come to mind.

A: STASRUBIS. This shall be a ONE SIDED FIGHT that SHALL EMBARRASS the instructor and ALL WHO HAVE THE MISFORTUNE TO WATCH SUCH A DISPLAY. HOWEVER, Stasrubis is NO PUPIL and is, instead, A RESPECTED WARRIOR.
B: LUMEI-WHO-WAS-ONCE-PUNYLOCKS. This shall also be CHOP'S DECISION TO DISENGAGE FROM SUBTERFUGE and RETURN THE BODIES THEIR MINDS. LUMEI shall PROVE TO THE INSTRUCTOR that a CHOP PUPIL can SUPPLY HIM WITH ADEQUATE DEFEAT even as they fight off UNKNOWN BODY AFFLICTIONS that CHOP has been informed to be "THE COMMON COLD."
C: PUNCHING BAG. He is THE WEAKEST OF PUPILS, and shall show the instructor that EVEN CHOP'S WEAKEST MAY BEAT HIM. HOWEVER. If there is ONE CHOP PUPIL CAPABLE OF LOSING TO THIS INSTRUCTOR, IT IS THIS ONE.
D: SHEEMUS-WHO-WAS-ONCE-PRINCESS. A choice NOT UNLIKE LUMEI, but with PERFECT BODY HEALTH WITH ZERO COMPLICATIONS. The PRIMARY CHOICE of PLAIN DECISION MAKING.
>>
No. 653027 ID: 742b4a

>>653026
Idea: After the fight, the teacher can train under you when he's not training his students.

A is right out. It's pointless.
If you chose B, you would be yelled at even more by the doctor, and you wouldn't be able to witness the fight.
C risks not achieving the desired effect of showing the teacher how much he has to learn. Or maybe it still will, considering the weakest student would still put up a fight. Plus if he wins, he gains honor.
D would work fine but is, like you said, boring.

I'm leaning towards C... on the other hand, you could take both of them aside and ask for a volunteer between the two of them.
>>
No. 653035 ID: ab7529

Stasrubis is overkill. You want to SHAPE weak minds, not SNAP THEM LIKE TWIGS.

Hmm. You slash Lumei is supposed to move water for the Rock Eater after this. Should you switch back before that is done? She let her water magic get weak. You might be able to move it another way?

>the common cold
Oh right, I forgot this body is supposed to be diseased. Do you even feel that, or did you fight it off and kill it without even noticing?

>who pick
I guess I'm leaning towards C or D. Not sure whether it's more important to give Punching Bag the chance to prove himself, or to play it safe.
>>
No. 653042 ID: d90668

C. If he wins its good. If he looses you show the others they need to train more.
>>
No. 653052 ID: 53688c

Definitely not A or B.
C is probably the best option... if Punching Bag can be hyped up to actually try his best. Otherwise, he'll likely fail from lack of willpower.

Let's consider D a secondary plan if C doesn't seem up to the task.
>>
No. 653058 ID: fbc59e

I am amazed at how choice D, despite being the best answer, is disliked for being so boring...
I vote D, even if I stand alone on that.
>>
No. 653084 ID: 91cfcf

D.
>>
No. 653167 ID: c22069

D: Sheemus.

Because she is a RUTHLESS KILLER OF FANCY CLOCKS. And as such she is already experienced in THE CRUSHING OF ONE'S ASPIRATIONS. That poor Apprentice Carpenter...
>>
No. 653186 ID: 840526

Mmm D seems to be a good choice, as long as you are sure she will actually give it her best you don't have to worry too much.
C might be a more interesting fight but the pupil might lose and that would defeat the purpose of this entire endeavor. And might even undermine your position.
>>
No. 653189 ID: dd338c
File 143612035793.png - (108.57KB , 800x800 , 370.png )
653189

CHOP shall levitate SAFETY to RULE NUMBER 1, and order SHEEMUS to fight this INSTRUCTOR of COMPROMISES.

CHOP'S MIND must recall any VALID REASON THAT PERSISTS to stay within LUMEI'S BODY for longer, before this MIXUP has been UNMIXED.
>>
No. 653192 ID: 742b4a

Pretty sure Rock Eater wants to inconvenience you, not Lumei. So YOU have to do those chores.
>>
No. 653194 ID: ab7529

>CHOP'S MIND must recall any VALID REASON THAT PERSISTS to stay within LUMEI'S BODY
You have to show up Rock Eater! Her actions suggest she learned you were switched and thus unable to use water magic, or that Lumei had let her training lapse, and would be unable to fulfill the water magic task. You won't allow Rock Eater to win this battle of humiliation!

You must complete the task your "sick" and undisciplined student would fail. Somehow.
>>
No. 653211 ID: 153bce

Summon Water.

Using physical effort in lieu of magic is just cheating your assigned task.
>>
No. 653212 ID: dd338c
File 143612663168.png - (176.77KB , 800x800 , 371.png )
653212

Chop has SUCCESSFULLY RECALLED the ROCK EATER'S INCONVENIENCE. SHEEMUS may do GLORIOUS BATTLE of which to PROVE HERSELF as POWERFUL and the INSTRUCTOR as NOT at a LATER HOUR. For the NOW HOUR, CHOP shall RECOGNIZE that it was CHOP'S MIND IN LUMEI'S BODY who has AGREED to ROCK EATER'S TASK, and so it is CHOP'S MIND IN LUMEI'S BODY that shall PERFORM this TASK. ROCK EATER's LOCATION has been REVEALED using INVESTIGATIVE TECHNIQUE: ASK QUESTION.

>"Aha, you actually came. Lumei. Your name is Lumei, right?"
"YOU ARE CORRECT."
>"Yeah, yeah, Lumei. Alright, then. We got some manual laborers around doing a lot of the cleaning, but the water is so far to go get to clean with. So we just want you to fill up this water bucket for us and keep it going. Using your magic. That you got."

Chop has thought of TWO OPTIONS HE MAY PERFORM.

A) Run to the river with such UNFATHOMABLE SPEED as to convince onlookers that MAGIC MUST BE IN PLAY.
B) Use CHOP'S GREAT MIND MAGIC and THE BODY OF THE WATER MAGE to attempt to cast SUMMON WATER.
>>
No. 653215 ID: d90668

Magic can't be that hard right? Summon up some water.
>>
No. 653217 ID: ab7529

What no C: divert river's path to feed the bucket? (Or maybe D: the magic of invention, from strength of the mind. Invent the hose).

Failing that, start with A, I suppose.
>>
No. 653220 ID: fbc59e

B, it cannot be that difficult of a matter to perform this task.
And if it fails we shall do the running thing.
>>
No. 653231 ID: dd338c
File 143613137064.png - (136.59KB , 800x800 , 372.png )
653231

"LUMEI CASTS OPTION B: SUMMON WATER."
>"Option wha-"
>>
No. 653232 ID: dd338c
File 143613139064.png - (138.39KB , 800x800 , 373.png )
653232

ptoo
>>
No. 653234 ID: dd338c
File 143613145268.png - (63.62KB , 800x800 , 374.png )
653234

"You're.... fucking with... you're serious, aren't you?"

Continue casting SUMMON WATER? y/n
>>
No. 653235 ID: d90668

This might take a while.
>>
No. 653238 ID: 46df9e

>>653234
This one doubts your resolve. Show them what one can accomplish with great stubbornness.
>>
No. 653239 ID: ab7529

Cast summon water again, but before the water reaches the bucket, do option A, so it looks like you filled it.
>>
No. 653245 ID: bb78f2

>>653234
You may as well summon the water from your bladder, that may make things go faster.
It's more sterile than spit too!
That's how survivalists do it.
>>
No. 653247 ID: dd338c
File 143613590790.png - (115.04KB , 800x800 , 375.png )
653247

"You doubt the RESOLVE of LUMEI? I shall continue."
>>
No. 653248 ID: dd338c
File 143613592151.png - (105.19KB , 800x800 , 376.png )
653248

An indefinite period of time later...

>"Oh cool there's a bucket of water!" a STONE POLISHER claims, HOISTING it upwards and moving away. "Thanks, uh... you must be Lumei."
>>
No. 653249 ID: dd338c
File 143613594548.png - (143.67KB , 800x800 , 377.png )
653249

>"You are so goddamn lucky I don't like that useless asshole, Chop. Don't get me wrong, I'm impressed how much saliva Lumei can make, but you know what? How about you just help us scrub the walls for the rest of the day before you start thinking it's okay to fuckin' piss in the buckets to fill them up."
>>
No. 653250 ID: d90668

You can scrub those walls so hard they won't ever need to be scrubbed again.

That being said make sure you do not overwork this body while its sick.
>>
No. 653251 ID: ab7529

Wait.

>Lumei has a cold
>spreading buckets of saliva around
I think we just failed basic hygiene. We just got those workers sick.
>>
No. 653252 ID: 46df9e

Scrub those walls so well everyone will swear the room has expended several centimeters in every direction.
>>
No. 653257 ID: 91cfcf

>>653254
Keep your fetishes out of this.

Scrub them.
>>
No. 653259 ID: 91cfcf

>>653256
Seriously man, shut up already about it.
>>
No. 653268 ID: bb78f2

Yeah...
Let's just scrub them. Let's just laugh at Rock Eater's expense that her reaction is gold. A good old Chop laugh.
>>
No. 653270 ID: 742b4a

>>653249
Can't you actually try to use magic?
>>
No. 653336 ID: dd338c
File 143615691039.png - (129.01KB , 800x800 , 378.png )
653336

>Actually try to use Magic
Chop KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS ZERO PERCENTAGES of what PRACTICES the MAGES OF THE CAVERNS EMPLOY for STANDARD MAGIC. ATTEMPTS to replicate this result in an ANGRY POSE OF USELESSNESS.

Lumei has BESTED THIS BODY AFFLICTION, and any PERCEIVED TIREDNESS that remains is the TIREDNESS after a HARD BATTLE. Lumei's saliva is now A BUCKET OF HEATH.

"Lumei shall SCRUB THE WALLS so hard that NO SCRUBBING SHALL BE REQUIRED AGAIN, and THE ROOM WILL HAVE BEEN EXPANDED. Lumei must contain LAUGHTER you would think anything less than RECORD BREAKING shall be invoked."
>"First, not how it works, second, I didn't say obliterate the walls, and third, seriously, stop calling yourself Lumei."
>>
No. 653337 ID: dd338c
File 143615693179.png - (180.80KB , 800x800 , 379.png )
653337

The WALLS of UNDETERMINED USE begin receiving a CHOP MINDED LUMEI SCRUBBING that it shall NOT FORGET SHOULD IT EVER TRY.

>"...shit, they're actually getting clean as hell. You're actually doing this menial task. You're making it pretty fucking hard to hate you right now."
>>
No. 653341 ID: 742b4a

>>653337
As a side benefit this is a good workout for Lumei's body. Maybe this could be part of her training, occasionally. Spray down the walls with water magic to keep her magic muscles ready for action, then scrub them as fast as she can to keep working on her physical muscles.

Ask Rock Eater why she insists on inconveniencing you so.
>>
No. 653343 ID: ab7529

There are no MENIAL TASKS. All TASKS must be EXECUTED WITH 1000% EXCELLENCE or they are not worth doing AT ALL.
>>
No. 653346 ID: bb78f2

>>653337
LUMEICHOP does NOT REQUIRE your LOVE. FOR it is THE BATTLE I FIGHT FOR.
The BATTLE against GERMS!
No GERMS shall receive mercy. They will have the HONOR of OBLITERATION. A FAIR BATTLE.
We'll need to ETCH a MEMORIAL for the BACTERIA that DIED today. GET TO WORK ROCK EATER. CHOPLUMEI has already started on writing STREPTOCOCCI into this WALL.
>>
No. 653399 ID: 8fd9ec

>>653343
what this guy said.
>>
No. 653401 ID: 46df9e

Hell yeah look at that wall shine, I bet you can see your reflection in that spot.
>>
No. 653421 ID: d33018

You know having your pupils do actual work around the caverns for exercise might be a good idea.

Would be improving the caverns for everyone and people would be grateful for the help.
>>
No. 653488 ID: ea0ad9

>Chop KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS ZERO PERCENTAGES of what PRACTICES the MAGES OF THE CAVERNS EMPLOY for STANDARD MAGIC. ATTEMPTS to replicate this result in an ANGRY POSE OF USELESSNESS.
LumeiChop shall DEMAND THE KNOWLEDGE from ChopLumei upon their RUINION OF BODYSOULS before the BODYSOULS ARE RETURNED to their RIGHTFUL POSITIONS. Chop is NOT THE SORT to allow a WEAKNESS TO REMAIN within ANY BODY HE INHABITS, after all, even if the weakness is ONLY PRESENT DUE TO HIS PRESENCE IN ANOTHER'S BODY. ESPECIALLY in that stated situation, because CHOP WILL NOT ALLOW HIS PRESENCE TO BE THE PRESENCE OF WEAKNESS.
>>
No. 653519 ID: dd338c
File 143622409423.png - (118.56KB , 800x800 , 380.png )
653519

"ALL TASKS shall be either PERFORMED at ONE THOUSAND PERCENT EXCELLENCE AND EFFORT, or COMPLETELY WORTHLESS. The RATIO of MENIAL TASK TO ALL TASKS is ZERO TO INFINITE."
>"Good gods you like saying 10 words when you could say three."
"Your HATE and your LOVE are as INCONSEQUENTIAL as BUGS that a FLY preys upon in the face of this TASK OF WALL SANITATION."
>"In other news, I just got an idea. Stone polishers and engravers here are as wimpy as they get, as soon as they have to do anything like this they get all tired and shit. How about you take the wimps into your Dojo and I dunno just have them exercise."
"LUMEI shall inform the ROCK EATER that the DOJO is a SACRED BASTION of CHAMPIONS, not a CASUAL GET-TOGETHER of CHUMPEONS."
>"Goddamn, then train them outside the dojo or something. I'll do something for you in return but I still keep the right to back out of the deal if it's a shitty request. I can get people to make your dojo look like it's close to a sacred place than a gap inbetween a pile of rocks because that's what it is, spend some time in the coal vein for mining, or whatever.
>>
No. 653522 ID: e114bc

>>653519
Yeah alright.
>>
No. 653523 ID: d90668

While they might not be warriors having more of the general populace doing strength training and exercise can only be a good thing.

Plus you can have your pupils show off what they can do while others are watching. It will make your pupils work harder and the people watching might be inspired to join someday.
>>
No. 653530 ID: 330ce5

Request three wishes for taking on such weak weaklings.
>>
No. 653537 ID: bb78f2

CHOP... consider's your propsal. THOUGH HE IS CONCERNED. THE CHAMPION PUPILS have not EARNED their BIRTHNAMES, CHOP cannot IGNORE his PUPILS during such CRITICAL PERIOD.
You EXPECT CHOP to give 0% to HIS STUDENTS and ALL THE PERCENTS to ENDURANCE TRAINING for WEAK MINERS? WE need the CHAMPIONS to DEFEND YOUR DELICIOUS ROCKS.

No, CHOP has BETTER PROPOSAL. CHOP will teach ROCK EATER the ways of being an ENDURANCE TEACHER. And being a TEACHER requires BEING A CHAMPION. Endure my SPECIALIZED TEACHER TRAINING for a PERIOD in MY DOJO, and you achieve TEACHERCHAMPION STATUS.

GIVE a ROCK EATER a few better ROCK EATERS, they EAT FOR A FEW YEARS. MAKE a ROCK EATER into a CHAMPIONTEACHER ROCK EATER, she has BETTER ROCK EATERS for ALL TIME.
>>
No. 653539 ID: e6fadf

>>653537
this is a great idea and all but we're still lumei right now
cmon stay in character
>>
No. 653541 ID: bb78f2

>>653539
Okay, replace all instances of CHOP in that post with LUMEI because I forget that CHOP hasn't admitted to being CHOP despite that ROCK EATER clearly knows that LUMEI has become CHOPLUMEI.
>>
No. 653548 ID: ab7529

>>653519
...I will CONSIDER the MERITS of producing LESS PUNY MASSES, even if they SHAMEFULLY do not fully commit to the DOJO.
>>
No. 653550 ID: dd338c
File 143622979373.png - (133.22KB , 800x800 , 381.png )
653550

>Have Pupils do these tasks as well
CHOP has the HIGHEST PERFORMANCE of COMMUNITY SERVICE, as well as ORDERING THE HIGHEST MANDATORY COMMUNITY SERVICE. This SHALL BE PERFORMED in TIMES THAT ARE AHEAD.

"LUMEI can say that CHOP shall consider this proposal at A MODIFICATION OF HIS OWN. He shall teach the ROCK EATER ENDURENCE TEACHING such that THE ROCK EATER MAY RAISE MORE ROCK EATERS."
>"So I have to do more work on my part instead of doing my job, is what you're saying."
"If the ROCK EATER is also the COMPLAINT CHEF, then ROCK EATER requires NO LABOR TO RETURN THE DEAL. CHOP shall TUTOR THE ROCK EATER IN TUTORING and NO OBLIGATIONS SHALL BE MANIFEST. Should you ACCEPT THIS OFFER, the ROCK EATER shall become the ROCK TEACHER."
>"Was that supposed to rhyme?"
"NO."
>"Okay, fine, I never thought I'd see the day, but apparently your dojo actually gets results. Results through treating people like shit."
"The PUPILS must WORK from the BOTTOM OF KNOWN MATERIALS."
>"Fine. I'll show up tomorrow morning. Finish up this wall. That said, your negotiation face doesn't work on Lumei."

"Shall LUMEI present any more WORDS to the ROCK EATER, or shall MINDS BE REAQUIRED BY BODIES?"








>"... What?"
"LUMEI has SPOKEN TO HERSELF with her MOUTH OF UNCANNY EASE OF MOVEMENT."
>>
No. 653553 ID: 0eb158

Ask ROCK EATER if she wishes to ACQUIRE CHOP'S BODY, know what I mean wink nudge inappropriate whistle
>>
No. 653561 ID: ab7529

FINISH TASK, set out to REACQUIRE BODY.

(Only to find it's not where you left it).
>>
No. 653594 ID: ea0ad9

I still think that Chop can learn something from Lumei's magical training--namely how to ensure that PUPILS OF MAGIC AND BODY CAN GIVE THEIR THOUSANDS OF PERCENTS OF EFFORT without GIVING UP ANY OF THEIR STRENGTHS the way LUMEI SACRIFICED HERS IN A HORRIBLE MISTAKE THAT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.
>>
No. 653605 ID: e114bc

>>653550
Well we should at least ask for details about the training. How many stone polishers, and for how long?
>>
No. 653625 ID: 840526

Uh oh!
THE JIG IS UP! She found you out!

Uh, well, guess it doesn't really change anything. I'd say this is a pretty good deal. More people to teach is always good. Shaping the kobolds here up a bit, to not be so soft, is a big bonus.

Also, yes it is time to get back into your body, it must be getting cramped in there.
>>
No. 653783 ID: dd338c
File 143631283936.png - (130.74KB , 800x800 , 382.png )
653783

>Well we should at least ask for details about the training. How many stone polishers, and for how long?
The TOPIC OF INQUIRY'S TIME has been PASSED. CHOP shall ONLY TRAIN THE ROCK EATER IN TRAINING.

The CURRENT TOPIC OF TIME is BODY REAQUIREMENT SPELL.

LUMEI DEPRIVES the CURRENT PREMISES of its ACCEPTABLE LEVEL OF SCRUBBING POWER, and RETURNS TO THE DOJO.

CHOP'S BODY is WHERE CHOP'S MIND has LEFT IT.

>"Welcome back, sir." CHOP STATES in a VOICE OF GENTLY PRESENTED GRUFFNESS.
"It is TIME TO RE-SWAP. In the MEANWHILE, the BODY OF CHOP appears in NEAR PERFECT FORM, but the FACE OF A WARRIOR is ABSENT."
>>
No. 653784 ID: dd338c
File 143631289016.png - (133.14KB , 800x800 , 383.png )
653784

>"Sorry."
"CHOP finds his EYEBROWS at ACCEPTABLE ANGLES, but the LEVEL of APOLOGIES ASTRONOMICAL. Now CHOP'S MIND desires knowledge of the SWAP MAGE'S LOCALE."
>"I'm sorry, I haven't seen him."
"Who here CAPTURED the SWAP MAGE within their EYEBALLS?"

...

"NO ONE?"
>"Sir." says STASRUBIS. "He claimed other duties to perform, but he said he would be back by now. I sent two fighters to get him. Either they had no luck, or they're coming back."
>>
No. 653790 ID: 6e30ac

Nothing for it but to put a big coat on Chop's body and have Lumei's body cling to his back underneath so Chop can tell Lumei what to do to be him.
>>
No. 653792 ID: ab7529

Rumble with discontent.

I suppose we give the warriors a few minutes to return. In the meantime, is there anything useful you can do? Train Lumei in something, while her mind won't be held back by her puny endurance?
>>
No. 653793 ID: e114bc

Well let's go over there too. Best case scenario we run into them along the way, worst case something awful has happened we need to fix once we get there.
>>
No. 653796 ID: d90668

Does this mage have that many mind swapping jobs lined up? Go track him down before something silly happens and you get stuck like this.
>>
No. 653843 ID: ea0ad9

Chop has NO REASON to doubt his TRAINED AND EXPERIENCED WARRIORS to FAIL IN THEIR TASK, even if they are DISAPPOINTINGLY LATE.
>>
No. 654082 ID: 32cf3a

Accept your new life of having a smaller body.
>>
No. 654105 ID: dd338c
File 143640934156.png - (123.85KB , 800x800 , 384.png )
654105

"While CHOP-LUMEI has INADEQUATE REASON to believe that his WARRIORS WITHOUT FAIL have FAILED, the TASK of NOW shall be to PERFORM INVESTIGATION on what CALAMITOUS EVENT MUST HAVE OCCURRED.
>>
No. 654106 ID: dd338c
File 143640934963.png - (146.90KB , 800x800 , 385.png )
654106

CHOP and LUMEI of BODY AND MIND have MATERIALIZED UPON the DOORSTEP OF NEAREST PROXIMITY to the CAVERNS OF MAGIC. CHOP'S EARMEAT already can FEAST UPON the INCONSEQUENTIAL WIZARD CONVERSATIONS WITHIN.

"What UNPRECEDENTED EMERGENCY has OCCUPIED THE FIGHTERS OF EXCELLENCE here?"
>"Chop." one fighter says. "This wizard won't let us see the swap mage."
"Then CHOP shall now hear the present MAGE display its UNPARALLED REASONING."

>"He's sick." says this EXCUSE MAGE. "He caught something I guess, and it's too unsafe for him to cast any swaps while he rests.
>"Is there any chance of us not being able to be turned back?" asks LUMEI OF CHOP'S BODY.
>"Yes." so BLUNTLY STATES the TALK WIZARD. "Those are the risks that Chop was told of a long time ago. The more time you spend in each others' body, the harder it is to turn back. He can't do it while sick, and if he tried, the spell would backfire! Wait a couple of days and see if he's better."
"And if the SWAP MAGE'S PHYSICAL TRAINING OF NO ENVY leaves him AS SICK in TWO DAYS?"
>"Wellllll, then you guys are stuck. And that's the end of that, except for the part where we told you so."

CHOP recalls NO SUCH TOLD SO'S.
>>
No. 654107 ID: 32cf3a

With your ruse foiled, admit to it, and continue on with the intervening days as normally planned.
>>
No. 654108 ID: e114bc

>>654106
This is a prank.

I'm tempted to call his bluff and barge in there, but... What about nearby towns with mages? Can't we just go aboveground and find someone to fix this? Chop's body is strong enough that Lumei can fight in it no problem, and Chop has the skills needed to make Lumei's body a skilled warrior. So, it wouldn't be particularly dangerous.
>>
No. 654111 ID: ab7529

There's only one answer.

Bring the SHRINK MAGE. CHOP shall VENTURE INTO THE BODY of the SWAP MAGE and SLAY THAT WHICH AILS HIS PUNY BODY DIRECTLY. Thus will the SWAP MAGE be made WELL and able to preform his ONLY TASK.
>>
No. 654113 ID: 2e88a5

Force the mage to swap you anyway, he can't be that sick. Surely it won't backfire with hilarious unforeseen consequences.
>>
No. 654115 ID: d90668

Hey remember when the mages tried to trick you and you foiled it by ruining there stuff? This is them trying to get back at you.

So insist that because the mage has gotten sick that there lair must be a hive of disease and filth. Organize your troops to personally wash and clean all wizards and wizardly environments.
>>
No. 654123 ID: bb78f2

>>654106
"Does CHOP detect a SMIRK on the LIPS THAT SPOUT EXCUSES? While CHOP has NO ISSUE with TRAINING a NEW BODY HIMSELF, the LUMEI-WITHIN-CHOP hasn't yet gone on the JOURNEY TO CHOP-MUSCLES. Also LUMEI may be EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED to her ORIGINAL BODY, and it would be UNFIT of a LIAR in a POINTY CAP to deny an INNOCENT PUPIL her BODY IDENTITY to SPITE a LARGE AND ANGRY TEACHER the CAVE POPULATION takes ISSUE with."
>>
No. 654202 ID: ea0ad9

>>654115
Yessss. Chop is too STRONG OF CUNNING to ignore the possibility, and if they are HONEST IN THEIR WORDS then they will require a CLEANED DEN OF RESIDENCE anyways.
>>
No. 654249 ID: 840526

They are seeming pretty dishonest.
Or perhaps with some ulterior motive, perhaps they made the swap mage sick, in revenge for your "cleaning" after the students competition?

They don't understand restraint, clearly if that is the case, either way I think you'll want to get past them to see the swap mage for yourself.
>>
No. 654661 ID: 91ee5f

Just threaten them by saying, "If you're lying, I will beat you up! Just because I'm not in my body doesn't mean I can't still hurt you!"
>>
No. 654794 ID: ed7f9b

Why doesn't healing magic work, anyway? I mean, I can see how it wouldn't kill off the virus or germs or whatnot, maybe even make them stronger, but the symptoms of illness are caused by the tissue damage brought about by the viral reproduction or the toxins that germs release as waste. A cure spell should at least clear the mage's head for long enough to cast the spell. And if it makes the illness stronger, well, the immune system should be increased to match. It's a nonlethal illness anyway, so a few days extra sickness for the mage is a small price compared to permanent body dysphoria for two people.

I dunno, maybe biology works differently here.
>>
No. 655034 ID: dd338c
File 143664578429.png - (115.40KB , 800x800 , 386.png )
655034

>Why doesn't healing magic work, anyway? I mean, I can see how it wouldn't kill off the
>virus
>toxins
>viral
>other unknown words that aren't 'germs'

Neither CHOP LUMEI'S COMBINED BODY AND MIND know ANY PERCENTILES of MAGIC RUNE-WORD CASTING.

"Perhaps CHOP'S MIND can train A NEW BODY, but CHOP shall DEFINITELY NOT ENTERTAIN THIS PERHAPS. If the MIXUP MAGE is SO SICK THAT IT CANNOT CAST SUCH A SPELL, then the CAVERNS OF MAGIC must be RENAMED to DEN OF FILTH AND DISEASE."

....

>"Well, be that as it may, you can't just - "
"CHOP SHALL NOW WAGE WAR UPON THIS HIVE OF ILLNESS."
>"No, no, no, you're not allowed!" says the ETERNAL COMPLAINT WIZARD. "We're going to treat that like an invasion if you just force your way in and stop your soldiers!"
>>
No. 655035 ID: dd338c
File 143664584351.png - (129.87KB , 800x800 , 387.png )
655035

"SOLDIERS? HAHAHAHA, CHOP laughs at the FACE OF CONCEIT MAGE thinking CHOP must REDUCE THE SAFETY OF THE CAVERN to DESTROY THE ANTI-SWAP GERMS. But perhaps the CONFIDENCE CASTER has an IDEA, as the SAFETY OF THE CAVERN must not have INTERNAL THREATS OF SICKNESS. LUMEI SHALL NOW CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING OPTIONS.

A)Invade DEN OF FILTH with CHOP and LUMEI alone.
B)Calm down and use DIPLOMACY to see the SWAP MAGE
C)Invade DEN OF FILTH with CHOP, LUMEI, and CHOP'S ARMY OF CLEANING.
D)Give up, go home/to dojo and live life as Lumei's body.

D IS A CHOP JOKE AND SHALL NOT BE VALID."

>"Wait a second, is there a difference between the spells to swap us and turn us back?" CHOP'S MOUTH rumbles at THE WIZARD.
>"Er, yes, one is like an undo, it's the spell in reverse."
>"..... if the swap spell is permanent, why can't he just cast another swap spell on us after he's better?"
>"Er - uhhh that'll just make things worse! Things will be doubly swapped!"
>"No, it's just swapping it back to normal!"
>"That is the reverse spell, it is different!"
>"No, it... Chop, I think..." CHOP'S BODY SAYS TO CHOP'S MIND. "We can just wait for him to get better and then -"
>>
No. 655036 ID: dd338c
File 143664587151.png - (75.77KB , 800x800 , 388.png )
655036

"LUMEI'S OPTIONS HAVE BEEN ESTABLISHED AS NON-NEGOTIABLE. SURELY this MAGE would not INSTEAD LAY A POORLY PLANNED PRANK UPON US, and is TRUTHFUL IN OUR PLIGHT."
>"N-no, of course I'm telling the truth."
>>
No. 655040 ID: ab7529

>"N-no, of course I'm telling the truth."
Then C IT IS. It's for the MAGES' OWN GOOD that their home is CLEANED before they ALL FALL PREY TO ILLNESS.

The SWAP MAGE certainly did not catch GERMS in your DOJO, after all. You keep it MAXIMUM CLEAN.
>>
No. 655050 ID: e114bc

>>655035
A. It's obviously a poorly planned prank so use minimal force, but because it's a prank diplomacy won't get you anywhere.
>>
No. 655053 ID: d90668

Very well then we will leave and return shortly with mops buckets and sponges. Then we will strip all mages and ensure they are rigorously scrubbed from head to foot along with there quarters.

They will thank us for the efforts because without them all mages will soon fall to disease and filth.

Actually having said that you do need to start a caverns wide class that informs people about cleanliness and how diseases work. Right now this place would fall apart the second a bad flu season came around.
>>
No. 655063 ID: 7ee2dc

If there is truly NO JOKE, then it is clear the Mage's quarters, and all mages, must be CLEANSED. BATHS IN BOILING WATER should do the trick, followed by RIGOROUS QUARANTINE.
>>
No. 655121 ID: 840526

Option C could be some good training or your troops, considering this guy is totally going out of his way to just make your life unpleasant. Look at him smirk, that smirk must be wiped from his snout!
>>
No. 655122 ID: dd338c
File 143665802817.png - (146.01KB , 800x800 , 389.png )
655122

"FIGHTERS. Summon CHOP'S ARMY OF CLEANLINESS. We shall ENGAGE IN WARFARE. OBJECTIVE: CLEAN THE MAGE'S QUARTERS. CLEAN THE MAGES. KILL ALL GERMS."
>"Sir, that mage is running back inside."
"GOOD. It is a WISE DECISION to COMMIT SELF QUARANTINE within the HOLE OF SICKNESS."

CHOPLUMEI can either COMMAND THE ARMY AT ITS CENTER FOR MAXIMIMUM CLEAN, or LEAD THE ASSAULT TOWARDS THE SWAPMAGE TO RETURN BODIES.
>>
No. 655123 ID: e114bc

>>655122
Lead the assault!
>>
No. 655125 ID: 840526

Might want to take the lead in case the mages start lobbing actually dangerous spells, we don't want your people getting hurt when all you plan to do is clean up their den of filth and plague!
>>
No. 655126 ID: 53688c

For the sake of our covertness, it'd probably be better not to involve a large number of people who aren't in on the swapping business.

A will be enough. Leave and return with devices of VIGOROUS SCRUBBING.
>>
No. 655129 ID: 53688c

Lead the assault. Cleaning is the secondary objective.
>>
No. 655130 ID: 330ce5

Destroy all germs, lead the assault, become Mister Clean.
>>
No. 655138 ID: bb78f2

>>655035
You know, if she's telling the truth about the swap spell thing we could always just use that algorithm from Futurama.

Surely CHOP has punched MATH in the face that he can understand a simple MIND SWAP THEOREM.

Lead the assault though
>>
No. 657976 ID: dd338c
File 143785202236.png - (143.92KB , 800x800 , 390.png )
657976

CHOPLUMEI shall LEAD THE ASSAULT.

While CHOP'S ARMY SHALL BE GATHERED to COMMIT ACTS OF CLEANLINESS, CHOPLUMEI shall PRESS FORWARD.

CHOPLUMEI presses FORWARD to find the MESSENGER MAGE running to the BELL OF ALARM. Should this NOISE DEVICE RING THE MAGE'S EARS with the TONE OF DANGER, then they shall be presented with MORE TIME TO PREPARE FOR THEIR IMMINENT CLEANING.
>>
No. 657977 ID: bd8b82

throw rock with perfect accuracy.
>>
No. 657978 ID: ab7529

LUMIECHOP should throw CHOPLUMIE ahead of the MESSENGER MAGE.

Then rip the knocker right out of the bell with your bare hands in front of him.
>>
No. 657991 ID: e114bc

>>657976
Have Lumei throw you. If she shows any hesitation, use a rock.
>>
No. 657993 ID: d90668

Throw a rock at the rope holding the bell. If you time it right the bell will fall on him and trap him inside. Then you can go get him out later.
>>
No. 658087 ID: e607cd

>>657993
and... the bell will clang on the ground, thus defeating the entire purpose of stopping him?
No, the intent is to prevent the alarm, not to do potential harm to sick mages. He needs a good scrubbing, not being crushed under a bell.
>>
No. 658164 ID: 583401

BELL? I See no BELL, I see a METALLIC WAR CRY, use your STRENGTH to quickly obtain this BELL OF CLEANLINESS, RING it LOUDLY while you PERISH THE GERMS.
>>
No. 659704 ID: dd338c
File 143846398542.png - (127.93KB , 800x800 , 391.png )
659704

>Throw Rock

"LUMEICHOP shall now throw A ROCK."
>"Er, are we gonna hurt hi - "
"ROCK IS LUMEI'S BODY."
>"O-oh. Be careful please."
>>
No. 659705 ID: dd338c
File 143846401295.png - (118.02KB , 800x800 , 392.png )
659705

CHOP's BODY has successfully THROWN LUMEI's BODY.
>>
No. 659706 ID: dd338c
File 143846404755.png - (63.79KB , 800x800 , 393.png )
659706

LUMEI'S MIND does not have ADEQUATE RESERVATION OF STRENGTH over CHOP'S BODY.
>>
No. 659707 ID: ab7529

Knock him out by spitting on him as you pass over?

Or go into a dive and CHOP right through the support holding the bell up. It'll be awful muted on the ground.
>>
No. 659708 ID: 3663d3

blow upward so hard it forces you downward
>>
No. 659718 ID: f461c5

Punch your forward momentum. No. Bend your forward momentum over your knee, forcing it to head down instead.
>>
No. 659733 ID: bb78f2

>>659706
Do a TIGER SPIN. Twirl and aim!
>>
No. 659740 ID: bac0ea

Do a kick off the ceiling to force yourself down and land between the mage and bell
>>
No. 659840 ID: ea0ad9

>>659718
Cast WEIGHT upon the very momentum itself! If that's even a punch spell, that is.
>>
No. 660557 ID: dd338c
File 143883027664.png - (166.75KB , 800x800 , 394.png )
660557

>Do a kick off the ceiling to force yourself down and land between the mage and bell
LUMEI'S BODY finds itself to be a DISTANCE GREATER THAN LEG from the CEILINGTOPS. Therefore, CHOP'S MIND shall ALTER THIS PROPOSITION.

>Do a kick off the INVISIBLE SPACE KNOWN AS AIR to force yourself down and land between the mage and bell

BAP
>>
No. 660558 ID: dd338c
File 143883030303.png - (188.03KB , 800x800 , 395.png )
660558

LUMEI casts WEIGHT, which does NOTHING FOR CHANGING FALLING SPEED but does ENGAGE THE BATTLE between THE SPLINTERY EXCUSE OF A SUPPORT COLUMN and LUMEI'S FACE.

LUMEI'S FACE is VICTORIOUS.
>>
No. 660560 ID: dd338c
File 143883036062.png - (132.60KB , 800x800 , 396.png )
660560

CLANK

What shall be the FATE of the MAGE THAT SHAKES AS IF IMITATING THE FALLEN BELL?
>>
No. 660561 ID: d90668

Jam him under one arm and have him lead you to the filthiest spots in the mages quarters. Aka where the mind switch mage lives.
>>
No. 660564 ID: ab7529

>>660560
He shall be picked up and dunked into the portable baths being carried in by Chop's students. The mage will learn cleanliness!
>>
No. 660565 ID: bb78f2

>>660560
Your rebellion against HYGIENE has failed. SUBMIT to your LYE-BASED MASTERS and FOAM OVERLORDS.
>>
No. 660652 ID: 91ee5f

>>660558
Chop's mind will apologize to Lumei's mind for using Lumei's body's face instead of Lumei's body's fist as a weapon.

If that isn't an option, then remove splinters from Lumei's body's nose.
>>
No. 660664 ID: b8208b

>>660560
The mage will be the first to be cleansed. The first of many.
>>
No. 661072 ID: dd338c
File 143906015551.png - (91.36KB , 800x800 , 397.png )
661072

"The FAILED BELL-RINGER shall inform the CHOP LUMEI ASSAULT TEAM where the SWAP-MAGE lies."
>"Uhhhh down that hall and on your left are the residences and you can find him probably near the back in the sickbay."
"The SELF-DEFEAT CASTING MAGE shall be the FIRST OF MANY MAGES to be CLEANSED by CHOP'S INCOMING ANTI-SICK ARMY. It shall be TIED TO THIS ROCK with the ROPE that CHOP NEVER FORGETS TO BRING, and await the BOILING CAULDRONS that have been RE-CRAFTED to be PORTABLE BATHS."
>"Um... how did you re-tool boiling cauldrons?"
"STEP ONE. APPLY 5 SOAP. STEP 2. RENAME THE ITEM AS PORTABLE BATHS."
>"What about the boiling part-"
"STEP THREE. BOIL HARDER."
>>
No. 661073 ID: dd338c
File 143906016414.png - (117.24KB , 800x800 , 398.png )
661073

CHOP-LUMEI ASSAULT TEAM has reached the RESIDENTIAL GATE, where a FLIMSY GUARD approaches.

>"Chop? I thought we sent the word that the swap-mage is out of commission. What are you doing here?"
>>
No. 661074 ID: 8adffb

>>661073
We come to provide sanitation (and insanity).
>>
No. 661079 ID: 0ee153

>>661073
A plague has spread due to rampant uncleanliness. CHOP has come to banish germs and spread lye.
>>
No. 661081 ID: ab7529

>>661073
CHOP'S advance is not to be HALTED by MERE WORDS.
>>
No. 661163 ID: df38c9

>>661073

We have HEARD THE WORD. If the swap-mage is out of commission, we are here to SPEED HIM BACK INTO IT.
>>
No. 661585 ID: dd338c
File 143925864952.png - (174.69KB , 800x800 , 399.png )
661585

"The WORDS have REACHED our EARS, as though expected to HALT OUR BODY'S ADVANCE despite being UNABLE TO LEAVE OUR EARS EVEN MILDLY FLAPPED."
>"Wha - what?"
"We are leading an ASSAULT on UNCLEANLINESS and BODY-DESTROYING AILMENTS, and we are to LAY ATTACK upon their FILTHY HOST: THE SWAP MAGE."
>"-Are you gonna kill him?"
"The SWAPMAGE is said to be RIDDLED SO EXTRAVAGANTLY as to be UNABLE TO PERFORM THE VERY NAME HE STANDS BY."
>"His name is actually - "
"AND SO TO YOUR QUESTION OF IF WE ARE GOING TO KILL HIM: The BODY AILMENTS have become SO MUCH A PART OF HIM that CHOP'S ANSWER LIES AS SUCH: SOMEWHAT.
".... um, okay, but can you be quiet about it? A lot of us are in bed."
"THE TIME IS FOR CLEANING and also EARLY EVENING by the most GENEROUS OF TIME DONATIONS."
"Well, magic is tiring after all, so we gotta be well rested!
>>
No. 661588 ID: 3663d3

you are only waiting here for the portable baths, when they come the guard will be most useless in stopping you.
>>
No. 661589 ID: e114bc

LAZINESS!

Hang on, this guard seems to be honest. Ask him why the swap mage is unavailable.
>>
No. 661592 ID: 46df9e

PUNCH THE WALL 1000 TIMES WITHOUT REST BEFORE SPEAKING TO CHOP OF WHAT IS TIRING!
>>
No. 661597 ID: e114bc

Ask Lumei if magic is that tiring.
>>
No. 661598 ID: d90668

Is it true Lumei? Is magic more tiring than a day filled with Dojo training?

Or are the mages suffering from a attack of lazy bones brought on by there horrible filth ridden quarters?
>>
No. 661599 ID: ab7529

>Well, magic is tiring after all, so we gotta be well rested!
Do you claim MAGIC is more TIRING than PHYSICAL TRAINING?!

Glare down his temerity.
>>
No. 661607 ID: bb78f2

>>661585
BEGONE ADORABLE AND PUNY SPEARMAN
Let us begin!
>>
No. 661615 ID: ea0ad9

>".... um, okay, but can you be quiet about it? A lot of us are in bed."
The ARMY OF SANITATION shall also wage war upon the ARMY OF SOUNDS. They have already CELEBRATED THEIR FIRST VICTORY, the defeat of the BELL OF ALARM.
>>
No. 661644 ID: b8208b

>>661615
Yes! Let no mage be unjustly awakened before they have been properly secured in the portable baths!
>>
No. 661649 ID: 227a05

Make sure to make your announcements and statements WITH GREAT QUIETNESS from now on.
>>
No. 662081 ID: dd338c
File 143950871013.png - (121.90KB , 800x800 , 400.png )
662081

"Is this TRUE, MIND OF LUMEI?"
>"Uh, it's tiring, but not, well, go to bed this early tiring."
"MONUMENTAL LAZINESS."
>"Well, that..." the guard's mouth ROTATES UPON ITS WORDS, UNSURE TO CONTINUE. "And they're really old. A lot of them I mean. I think I use more energy just standing here holding this spear up."
"NONETHELESS." CHOP QUIETLY ROARS, "CHOP'S ARMY shall be the BASTION OF SILENCE. The WARBRINGERS to NOISE. NO MAGE shall be UNJUSTLY AWOKEN before their CLIMB INTO THE CAULDRON OF CLEANLINESS."
>"Uh... I'll just... look, I'm just here to keep track of who comes, goes, and all that. If you wanna go in, I'm not gonna stop you."
>>
No. 662082 ID: dd338c
File 143950871986.png - (125.43KB , 800x800 , 401.png )
662082

CHOP'S THUDS from his MIGHTY TIPTOES ECHO QUIETLY OFF THE WALLS.

It is a BRIEF SEARCH to find the SWAP MAGE'S DOOR.
>>
No. 662083 ID: ab7529

>>662082
Carefully remove the "do not disturb sign", flip it over so it reads "please enter" and then do so. With gusto.
>>
No. 662084 ID: d90668

Listen at the door for party sounds.

Then quietly open it to sneak in or loudly knock it down depending on what you hear.
>>
No. 662088 ID: e114bc

>>662082
Enter.
>>
No. 664215 ID: 2f5cb5

it Says "do not disturb", Not "do not enter"
>>
No. 664239 ID: 1a0c40

Also, it says 'please' and you clearly aren't here to please anyone.
>>
No. 664455 ID: dd338c
File 144026576156.png - (150.84KB , 800x800 , 402.png )
664455

Chop finds that the NOTE REQUESTING NO DISTURBANCE is VASTLY UNDERMINED by the UNLOCKED DOOR.

CHOPLUMEI'S VISION beholds the SLEEPING SWAP MAGE and a MAGE OF HEALING.

"Oh um excuse me but this one is really sick right now!"
>>
No. 664456 ID: bac0ea

Inform them that you are here to aid in not only the healings, but continued health of tiny mages
>>
No. 664459 ID: dd338c
File 144026657579.png - (76.53KB , 800x800 , 403.png )
664459

"CHOPLUMEI is here to ASSIST IN HEALINGS and the CONTINUED HEALTH of ALL MAGES."
>"O-oh! Okay, um, first please uh lower your volume. Secondly, how are you going to help? I really think he'll be fine just with some rest!"
>>
No. 664461 ID: bb78f2

>>664459
You will PUNYFY US and we will go into his BODY and PUNCH ALL THE GERMS.
It is the ONLY WAY.
We need him well NOW!
>>
No. 664462 ID: e114bc

>>664459
Are you saying he has the COMMON COLD? ...he caught it from Lumei didn't he.

Ask the swap mage when he will be able to swap you back. Is it true it'll be permanent in a few days?
>>
No. 664475 ID: ab7529

>I really think he'll be fine just with some rest!
Give healing mage a strong stare to determine truthfulness. Give the swap mage another stare to determine state of physical health.

Also assess the cleanliness / filthiness of both.
>>
No. 664481 ID: dd338c
File 144027353402.png - (139.20KB , 800x800 , 404.png )
664481

"CHOPLUMEI shall be PUNIFIED to enter the BODY OF SWAPMAGE to PUNCH ALL BODY-AILMENTS."
>"Um... we don't have anyone that can punify that much. Alsooo we're pretty sure that's just a bad idea maybe?"
"This that AILS THE SWAPMAGE. Is it called the COMMON COLD?"
>"Ah, yeah! Seems like it. It's been going around a lot, but it's harmless as long as they don't get overworked."
"And the PUNY MAGE BEFORE ME says it shall be DEFEATED in a FEW DAYS TIME?"
>"Usually, yes, as long as he gets rest!"

>Assess CLEANLINESS
LUMEI'S EYES report to CHOP'S MIND that the SWAPMAGE has recently been MARGINALLY WASHED, and the MAGE OF HEALING has WASHED HERSELF to EXISTANT YET SUB-ADEQUATE LEVELS.
>>
No. 664482 ID: e114bc

>>664481
Ask about the two days time limit. Maybe THAT is the lie the doorman told us, not about the swap mage being sick.
>>
No. 664484 ID: ab7529

>>664481
Cleaning time, then!
>>
No. 664493 ID: 3663d3

bring in the portable baths
>>
No. 664530 ID: ad936f

The CRUSADE OF CLEANLINESS shall not be dissuaded so easily!
>>
No. 664546 ID: 91ee5f

>>664481
Lumei's body's ears are missing! Chop, did you rip her ears off or something?!?! DX
>>
No. 664547 ID: bb78f2

Intimidate the cold right out of the swap mage. Let the germs know your intent. PUNCH THEM WITH YOUR EYEBALLS, YOUR SOUL!
>>
No. 664579 ID: dd338c
File 144030773689.png - (176.52KB , 800x800 , 405.png )
664579

>Intimidate the cold right out of the swap mage. Let the germs know your intent. PUNCH THEM WITH YOUR EYEBALLS, YOUR SOUL!
The BODY AILMENTS are COLD, UNFEELING, and CANNOT UNDERSTAND the PERIL THAT IT LIES IN. It shall NOT BE GRACED WITH EYE CONTACT.

CHOPLUMEI does not CARE for WHERE THE LIES CAME FROM.

There is only CLEANLINESS, NOW.

"BEHOLD THE CAULDRON OF ANTI-SICK MAGIC."
"Oh my gosh is that boiling water?!"
CHOPBODY shall now PLUCK THE SWAPMAGE from its FOUL RESTING PLACE and place it UPON ITS FINAL RESTING PLACE. OF SICKNESS.
>>
No. 664580 ID: dd338c
File 144030774917.png - (179.78KB , 800x800 , 406.png )
664580

The SWAPMAGE is INEXPLICABLY FILLED WITH VIGOUR as it makes a VALIANT ATTEMPT at FLEEING WITH HIS SICKNESS.
>>
No. 664581 ID: e114bc

>>664580
See? He's CURED! The ANTI-SICK MAGIC worked!
>>
No. 664582 ID: ab7529

>>664580
Glare. That'll get the germs out faster!
>>
No. 664587 ID: 7aa334

Give him THE SOUP.
>>
No. 664603 ID: ad936f

>>664587
yes, fill him with valuable germ fighting sustenance.
>>
No. 664612 ID: d90668

Wait do they assume that any water heated to over river temperature is boiling? No wonder everyone around here is filthy and sick.

Get him all soaped up and scrub the filth off.
>>
No. 664618 ID: 7aa334

Perhaps these sicklings could benefit from some ACUPUNCHTURE. You simple do the same thing as you do when punching people in their vital pressure points, only in reverse, so it causes HEALTH instead of HURTYTIMES.
>>
No. 664651 ID: ea0ad9

>VALIANT ATTEMPT at FLEEING WITH HIS SICKNESS.
Are you sure he isn't trying to climb out while the sickness is trapped in the cauldron?
>>
No. 664944 ID: dd338c
File 144047912851.png - (119.08KB , 800x800 , 407.png )
664944

"The SOUP CAULDRONS shall now FEED ALL WHO ARE SICK. The SOAP CAULDRONS shall now BATHE ALL WHO ARE SICK. DO NOT CONFUSE THESE TWO CAULDRONS."

Despite that, the SWAPMAGE'S BODY STILL FIGHTS with as much CALMNESS as a KICKED WASPHIVE DURING AN EARTHQUAKE THUNDERSTORM.
>>
No. 664945 ID: dd338c
File 144047914343.png - (148.06KB , 800x800 , 408.png )
664945

CHOP performs SECRET TECHNIQUE: ACUPUNCHTURE TO CALM THE SWAPMAGE.

>"Uh, how long does a bath take?" CHOP'S BODY ASKS.
>>
No. 664946 ID: e114bc

>>664945
Like 15 minutes. Scrubbing should be involved.
>>
No. 664947 ID: 57dfcc

>>664945
It takes the time it takes to sing "happy birthday" to wash just your hands. So the swap mage obvious needs to sing happy birthday as many times as he is pairs of hands big to be clean.
>>
No. 664976 ID: 3663d3

scruba dub dub.
>>
No. 664977 ID: ea0ad9

>>664946
For somebody who hasn't been keeping clean, probably more like 45 minutes.
>>
No. 664979 ID: 974a6c

Are we literally curing him with our fist magic?
Chop is best muscle wizard!
What we need now is herbs and medicines.
>>
No. 665609 ID: dd338c
File 144089190858.png - (112.77KB , 800x800 , 409.png )
665609

"The KOBOLD STANDARD for LENGTH OF WASHING HANDS is the time it takes to SING THE SONG OF BIRTH. LUMEI'S MIND. How LARGE is this KOBOLD in PAIRS OF HANDS?"
>"... like, these hands? Of yours?"
"NO, as CHOP'S BODY shall not be the one SINGING THE SONG. It must be HIS HANDS."
>"...Twwweeeenntyyy?"
"SO IT SHALL BE. The SWAPMAGE shall SING 20 ITERATIONS OF BIRTHSONG while SCRUBBING."
>>
No. 665610 ID: dd338c
File 144089191963.png - (93.81KB , 800x800 , 410.png )
665610

>H... happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to... uh..."
"ME."
>"Chooop, happy birthday to youuu."
"19 TIMES TO GO before he has SUNG THE SICKNESS AWAY. ADD THE HERBS AND MEDICINE TO THE CAULDRON."

>"Chop, Chop!" I hear a SOLDIER OF CHOP'S say.
>>
No. 665611 ID: dd338c
File 144089192774.png - (107.32KB , 800x800 , 411.png )
665611

"What does SOLDIER have to report?"
>"We have a situation, one of the mages got more sick after the treatment."
"What? EXPLAIN to CHOP the ERROR OF CHOP'S CLEANING WAYS."
>"Well, it wasn't yours, but we weren't quite keeping an eye on one, and he, uh.... confused the two cauldrons."
"You say he BATHED IN THE SOUP and DRANK THE SOAP?"
>"Yes."
>>
No. 665613 ID: 57dfcc

>>665611
Then perhaps he has learned a lesson in FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS CORRECTLY and in the POWER OF OBSERVATION.

Really, though, just send the healing mage to him after he throws up the soap, wash the soup off of him, and then see about getting some soup in him where it will do actual good this time.
>>
No. 665614 ID: 3663d3

dang it, you are the strongest but are you also the smartest somehow? you thought mages were all about being brainy.
>>
No. 665616 ID: bb78f2

LABEL all the CAULDRON's STAT.

If WEAK-MINDED MAGE'S have POOR READING EYES, then I MUST take on the task of LITERACY TRAINING. What does it say when OUR MAGE'S CANNOT READ?
>>
No. 665620 ID: d90668

Well how clean was the soup and how nourishing was the soap?
>>
No. 665621 ID: e114bc

Rinse the soupy mage off and see if you can get the soap out of him.
>>
No. 665622 ID: 46df9e

Why was one of the sick left unobserved if he were in a state to make such a mistake?

As for a solution we must simply punch all the soap out of his gut to make room for the soup; then bath him for twice the length of a regular bath to clean off the soup in addition to the regular dirt and germs.
>>
No. 666086 ID: dd338c
File 144106948168.png - (99.65KB , 800x800 , 412.png )
666086

"The CAULDRONS shall be TRANSFORMED to be CAULDRONS WITH LABELS, starting IMMEDIATELY. WHY has the SICKMAGE been left UNATTENDED, as CHOP MUST ASSUME IS THE CAUSE OF THIS MISTAKE."
>"Correct. We take full responsibility and I offer no excuse. I will correct this mistake immediately."
"GOOD. No other MAGES shall CAST SELF-DISASTER. CHOP and LUMEI shall SOLVE SICKMAGE'S SICK, while YOU SHALL REMAIN AND GUARD SWAPMAGE."
>>
No. 666087 ID: dd338c
File 144106948807.png - (125.00KB , 800x800 , 413.png )
666087

SOON after CHOP-LUMEI'S DEPARTURE, SICKMAGE IS SPOTTED.
>>
No. 666088 ID: dd338c
File 144106949776.png - (185.81KB , 800x800 , 414.png )
666088

>Rinse the soup off of him
>>
No. 666089 ID: dd338c
File 144106950539.png - (178.60KB , 800x800 , 415.png )
666089

"THE SOUP IS EASILY RINSED, BUT THE SOAP HAS TRANSFORMED INTO SICKESS WITHIN THE SICKMAGE."
>>
No. 666090 ID: dd338c
File 144106952186.png - (204.88KB , 800x800 , 416.png )
666090

>Punch the soap out of his gut
"CHOP'S MIND CASTS: PURGE ILLNESS."
>>
No. 666091 ID: dd338c
File 144106953054.png - (190.70KB , 800x800 , 417.png )
666091

>"hurk"
>>
No. 666093 ID: dd338c
File 144106963655.png - (212.15KB , 800x800 , 418.png )
666093

>Apply healing mage

"MAGE STATUS: CURED."
>>
No. 666094 ID: e114bc

>>666093
I think mage-abuse time might be over. Lumei is getting upset.

Oh well the cleaning and feeding is probably done by now anyway. See if the swapmage is feeling healthy enough to fix things.
>>
No. 666170 ID: 57dfcc

Right. Let's see if the swap mage is fixed yet.
>>
No. 666173 ID: dd338c
File 144108262769.png - (131.32KB , 800x800 , 419.png )
666173

Upon CHOP'S RETURN to the SWAPMAGE, word comes in that THE MAGE CAVERNS have been SUCCESSFULLY SUBDUED, and shall shortly be THE CLEAN CAVERNS.

"SWAPMAGE. Are you ABLE TO SWAP?"
>"If.... if I do, will you guys go away?"
"SO LONG as the MAGES REMAIN CLEANSED, YES."
>"Then... yeah. Yeah let's do this."
>>
No. 666174 ID: dd338c
File 144108264060.png - (118.02KB , 800x800 , 420.png )
666174

CHOP'S MIND AND BODY ARE ONE AGAIN.

"LUMEI. CONFIRM THAT THIS MAGE DID NOT ACCIDENTALLY SWAP YOU WITH AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER to lead to FUTURE MISADVENTURES."
>"Nope, nope, I'm okay! I mean, weak, but..."
"INCORRECT. IS CHOPBODY'S VISION INFERIOR? NO. You have SEEN THE STRENGTH THAT LIES WITHIN, it is your AILING BELIEFS THAT BRING YOUR WEAKNESS."
>"Y.... yeah, I guess so. I-I mean, yeah, you're right!"

It is time to either CONTINUE CHOP'S ARMY VERSUS REMNANTS OF MAGICAL RESISTANCE, or begin SHEEMUS VERSUS INSTRUCTOR OF THE WEAK.
>>
No. 666176 ID: e114bc

>>666174
Witness the HUMBLING of your RIVAL.
>>
No. 666177 ID: 57dfcc

Lumei: hug self like a silly person, because you're happy to be you again.

>It is time to either CONTINUE CHOP'S ARMY VERSUS REMNANTS OF MAGICAL RESISTANCE, or begin SHEEMUS VERSUS INSTRUCTOR OF THE WEAK.
Choparmy v mages is a forgone conclusion. We know they're getting cleaned no matter what.

On to Sheemus and suspense.
>>
No. 666252 ID: bb3898

Just remember that the INSTRUCTOR OF THE WEAK is not really our rival he's just another trainer in the caverns, just like how there are more then one mage there can be more then one trainer. This is about getting our students back not getting rid of the instructor.
Who knows, maybe his style if instructing will encourage others to start training and some of them might wont a tougher challenge and come to our dojo.
>>
No. 666254 ID: d90668

The mages have been cleansed nicely and while you might have to stop by occasionally it should be good for now.

So off to deal with the other instructor.
>>
No. 666353 ID: dd338c
File 144115080888.png - (83.47KB , 800x800 , 421.png )
666353

"CHOP and LUMEI shall leave the MAGE SCRUBBING DUTIES to CHOP'S ARMY." CHOP states, DOING EXACTLY THAT as he ENTERS THE DOJO.

"SHEEMUS."
>"Ah?! Oh gosh I didn't lose my name already! Yes?!"
"You shall be my RECRUIT OF CHOICE to MEET THE INSTRUCTOR that has PULLED THE FELLOW RECRUITS IN as BABY BEARS TO BABY BEE HONEY."
>"Oh, what am I gonna do with the instructor?"
"BATTLE."
>"OH. Oh... okay! I guess!"
>>
No. 666354 ID: dd338c
File 144115081750.png - (167.80KB , 800x800 , 422.png )
666354

CHOP, LUMEI and SHEEMUS have ENTERED THE LAIR OF FEEBLENESS.

"Where have the RECRUITS GONE TO?"
>"Ah! Chop! Chop! It's you! Hello! I mean, - okay, yeah, some of your recruits came by, sorry about that, I didn't actually mean for them to come but the chieftain was talking about how before I can teach any villagers I should see if I can get the recommendation of some of Chop's pupils and - er, sorry, let me slow down. You're an idol of mine! Your recruits were let off for the day, actually, so I don't know where they are. What can I do for you? Have you come to beat me up maybe?"
>>
No. 666355 ID: e114bc

>>666354
Why, would you enjoy that? I am here to test your strength against SHEEMUS!
>>
No. 666357 ID: 57dfcc

>Have you come to beat me up maybe?
Chop does not BEAT PEOPLE UP. He BATTLES ENEMIES and TRAINS STUDENTS. You are currently NEITHER.

>recruits gone
Hmm. Loses some impact without an audience. Maybe we should arrange for them to be here.
>>
No. 666361 ID: d90668

We need to make this guy one of your students so you can teach him the ways of strength personally.
>>
No. 666390 ID: ea0ad9

>Chop does not BEAT PEOPLE UP. He BATTLES ENEMIES and TRAINS STUDENTS. You are currently NEITHER.
However, Chop has decided to GAUGE THE TINY TRAINER'S STRENGTH in the art of TEACHING STUDENTS by having one of his students DUEL THE THIN TEACHER. Chop's expectations are NOT HIGH for the TRAINER OF FLAPPY ARMS.
>>
No. 667524 ID: dd338c
File 144149388876.png - (111.44KB , 800x800 , 423.png )
667524

"Does the SHEER IDEA of DESTRUCTION BY CHOP sound IDEAL? NO. It shall by by SHEEMUS. CHOP shall merely be the JUDGE, and LUMEI and LOVEGNOLL the GRAND AUDIENCE. The BATTLE BEGINS NOW."

SHEEMUS and the INSTUCTOR meet on the ROCKS OF FIGHT, and engage in GRUESOMELY DETAILED POLITENESS.
>>
No. 667525 ID: dd338c
File 144149389711.png - (131.38KB , 800x800 , 424.png )
667525

This BOWING OF FRIENDSHIP molds into HALF ENTHUSED FIGHTING. However, upon A VARIOUS NUMBER OF SECONDS, this then TRANSFORMS ITSELF into a MILD TUSSLE.
>>
No. 667530 ID: dd338c
File 144149478238.png - (155.11KB , 800x800 , 425.png )
667530

LOVEGNOLL claims they are on EVEN GROUND.

HOWEVER. With CHOP'S SQUINTING TECHNIQUE, it can be seen that SHEEMUS is SLIGHTLY LOSING. She does not have the heart for BATTLES OF SPECTATION, only the BATTLE FOR LIVES. At the current BATTLEPACE, SHEEMUS shall be the LOSER.

>"What's the point of this anyway, Chop?" the SO CALLED INSTRUCTOR remarks MIDCOMBAT. "Even if I win this fight, I know your recruits are strong, you wouldn't allow it any other way! You didn't have to get them to beat me up to prove it."
>>
No. 667537 ID: 57dfcc

>At the current BATTLEPACE, SHEEMUS shall be the LOSER.
Perhaps she needs to be inspired?

>What's the point of this anyway, Chop?
The battle is as much a lesson for Chop's students as it is for the instructor.
>>
No. 667540 ID: 3663d3

you fight and lose until you win. training makes you strong but you can only learn to fight by fighting. to shy away from the low risk fights puts you in danger of the real ones.
>>
No. 667543 ID: e114bc

>>667527
The teacher should always be stronger than the student! This is to demonstrate that weak teachings cannot produce strong students. Tell him that Sheemus is not your strongest student, and if Lumei were fighting here, he would have lost already.

Speaking of which, SHEEMUS, WIN. Treat it like a battle of LIFE OR DEATH. He is the ENEMY, you must DESTROY HIM.
Threaten punishment for losing. Like maybe she has to eat breakfast that you prepare for the next week.
>>
No. 667549 ID: d90668

Its not about proving my recruits are strong. Its testing you to make sure you are strong enough to be trusted with training our people.

If you do no know enough about fighting and physical training its means that any training from you would be worse than nothing.

Its better for pupils to think they are weak and run from danger than to have a false sense of confidence and run into fights that will get them killed.
>>
No. 667556 ID: bb78f2

>>667530
CHOP is APPLYING MEASUREMENTS.
MUSCLE SCIENCE CANNOT BE APPLIED when one SIDE of the SCALE is NOT ACCURATELY MEASURED.
BEHOLD, STUDENTS! Your first lesson in MUSCLE SCIENCE.
>>
No. 667569 ID: dd338c
File 144150366411.png - (113.19KB , 800x800 , 426.png )
667569

"To PROVE to the INSTRUCTOR OF FLABBY ARMS that the INSTRUCTOR CANNOT TEACH THAT WHICH CAN BEAT HIM, as well as APPLYING MUSCLE MEASUREMENTS."
>"That's not actually true, Chop! But nevermind that, I didn't really want to teach your recruits anyway!"
"Then why has THE VISION OF CHOP'S RECRUITS INSIDE OF THIS VERY ROOM met with CHOP'S EYEBALLS?"
>"I actually just wanted to teach the villagers! But your Chieftain said that I had to prove I could get the good word from your recruits first before I could teach normal cave denizens here."
"And you wish to RECEIVE THE GOOD WORD of THOSE WHO BEST YOU IN COMBAT? SHEEMUS, treat this battle as LIFE OR DEATH, as LOSING SHALL BE SUBMITTING TO CHOP'S PUNISHMENT."
>"I don't make the rules! You once visited my town, and you were really strong, but we couldn't be that strong! We had to farm and hunt and do all kinds of stuff, and I started teaching there to maximize our fighting power for what little training we could afford in a day. And we got pretty decent, you know? We can't match up to fighters here, but we're way stronger than the average cave denizen here, too! And that's who I wanted to train!"
>>
No. 667572 ID: dd338c
File 144150393751.png - (93.08KB , 800x800 , 427.png )
667572

SHEEMUS pins the INSTRUCTOR with NEWFOUND VIGOR.

>"So, I don't think you proved anything to me! I'm not here to get your recruits, I'm here to make the average cave denizen able to at least defend themselves if it came to it!"
>>
No. 667581 ID: d90668

I have no problem with that plan. I just wanted to test your capabilities and see what your training was like.

If you want you can join my students and learn from me. Then you can take my training methods and soften them so that the normal bolds will not run away in fear.

Plus any of your students can come join my dojo if they want to continue there training and take it to the next level.
>>
No. 667585 ID: 845d4d

The point, as in all fights, is to test oneself and one's opponent! If one intends to ever enter battles with lives on the line, one must know oneself, one's capabilities and limits, to their utmost. The only way to know these capabilities and limits is to have been pushed to them, and thus every fight, even one such as this, becomes a fight for the knowledge that may save yourself and your comrades.

Every fight is not only against one's opponent, but against oneself! You must know if your arms cannot lift a certain weight, if your legs will collapse after a certain effort, if your heart will not bear with you against a certain amount of fear! For if you do not know these things about your body, then one day your body's failings will be the end of you or your friends. A warrior's weaknesses are their deadliest enemy! So, when a true warrior trains, they train like they mean it! And when they fight, even if one of their opponents is only a friend helping them to learn about themselves, then still they must fight with all their strength against the other deadly enemy who is always with them!

Which means that EVERY FIGHT IN WHICH YOU DO NOT TRAIN, LEARN ABOUT OR TEST YOURSELF is ONE IN WHICH YOU HAVE LOST. And if you did not put forth your full effort, you are BOTH LOSERS.

CHOP already had the notion that the instructor could teach those who lack the time or inclination to become TRUE WARRIORS. It is clear to Chop, however, that CERTAIN PEOPLE in these caverns had begun to wonder if this lesser training would also be capable of creating TRUE WARRIORS, and that therefore if it would be possible to NOT TRAIN WITH CHOP. It was the intention of CHOP to make it clear that this is not the case.

Also Chop was OFFENDED THAT ALL THIS TOOK PLACE WITHOUT CHOP'S INFORMATION OR CONSENT. The instructor could have MET WITH CHOP AND HAD THIS LESSER TRAINING PLAN APPROVED WITHOUT ALL THESE SHENANIGANS, and the fact that CERTAIN PEOPLE went BEHIND HIS MIGHTY BACK indicates both their GUILT and their LACK OF RESPECT.
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No. 667586 ID: e114bc

>>667572
Tell him you agree with his hopes. This training competition was pointless and misleading.

However he really should put a little more physical exercise in his regimen.
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No. 667603 ID: 57dfcc

>>667572
I doubt my recruits will be entirely pleased you were less than fully truthful with them.

Tell him you have no complaint with the cave bolds getting better, but your students are ordinary cave denizens.

Instruct Sheemus to explain all the ordinary cave denizen stuff she does in addition to her training.
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No. 667676 ID: ea0ad9

>"So, I don't think you proved anything to me! I'm not here to get your recruits, I'm here to make the average cave denizen able to at least defend themselves if it came to it!"
A teacher should be STRONGER than those he considers his STUDENTS. Chop will TOLERATE SUCH TEACHING if the teacher TAKES THE TIME TO ADVANCE HIS STRENGTH. Whether he does so with CHOP'S TEACHING or HIS OWN ROUTINES is of NO CONCEQUENCE to Chop, so long as he ALWAYS SEEKS TO MAINTAIN HIS STRENGTH.
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No. 667744 ID: 840526

That sounds fine to me.
And at east your honor is intact, that is important too.
But what he is planning is good, it will save you the time of having to put everyone through basic training as well. So you can focus on the training of real warriors instead...
(And maybe if they've already gone through basic training they won't be quite so feeble when you get them.)
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No. 668466 ID: dd338c
File 144176247163.png - (141.28KB , 800x800 , 428.png )
668466

"CHOP'S STUDENTS are CLASSIFIED as ORDINARY DENIZENS. Perhaps even CAVE MAGGOTS."
>"Well, sure, they - er, are ordinary denizens, now, but you're going to make them into tough warriors!"
"CORRECT. Perhaps CHOP can AGREE to this IDEA OF BLASPHEMY of HALF WARRIORS. BUT. Did the INSTRUCTOR OF ILL FORESIGHT not think to ALERT CHOP TO ITS PRESENCE?"
>"That, uh, that surprised me. I mean, to do this, I'd go to your chief, right? And I mean of course you'd want to know too definitely for sure! But I would have thought that your chief would have let you know! Or your students, for that matter."
"And the LESSON OF TODAY IS THE INSTRUCTOR BEING INCORRECT. Now, CHOP SHALL PRESENT EXTRAORDINARY ISSUES, and the INSTRUCTOR shall DEFEND THE HONOR OF THESE ISSUES. ISSUE ONE. The INSTRUCTION that the tiny one before me supplies has LITTLE TO NO PHYSICAL EXERTION."
>"I was thinking about that!"
"DO NOT THINK ABOUT THAT. DO ABOUT THAT."
>"Right, right! This place is different! At my home, we were all so tired at the end of the day, it was all we could do to train any more. Or at all. But here, even as though things get, there's more room for physical exertion! I could include more."
"This COMPROMISE shall create CHILDREN instead of BABIES. TOLERABLE for the PRESENT TIME."
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No. 668467 ID: dd338c
File 144176248298.png - (98.23KB , 800x800 , 429.png )
668467

"ISSUE TWO. The TEACHER must be STRONGER THAN THE STUDENTS."
>"Oh, yes! Well, no. I still disagree, but! I'm willing to deal with that and fight anyone who wants to graduate. But even if I can't beat a single one of your pupils, I can beat the various villagers who might want to train."
"ACCEPTABLE. ISSUE THREE. COMMUNICATION should be that of LOUD GIANTS, not PEBBLE lost in CENTER OF GROUND. AS A RESULT, CHOP'S HONOR has been SUCCESSFULLY DEFENDED after requiring NO DEFENDING, amongst OTHER SURMOUNTABLE INCONVENIENCES."
>"I don't have any excuse for that, I'm sorry, Chop! I'll be sure to let you know personally about anything that is even a little related to your dojo in the future."
"ACCEPTABLE IN THE FUTURE. FINAL ISSUE. AVERAGE CAVE DENIZENS may FOOLISHLY BELIEVE that the NEW INSTRUCTOR'S HOBBY TRAINING can create FULL WARRIORS without undergoing FULL CHOP TRAINING."
>"No, no, no! Not at all! I was going to finish on that note, but now I'll say to everyone right away, that it won't be any kind of replacement for Chop's training, it'll just be manageable for the people who want to learn how to defend themselves as best they can while also devoting their best to other stuff in the day."
"CHOP contains FORMIDABLE APPREHENSION. HOWEVER. It is a FULLY KNOWN FACT that CHOP does not perform INSTANT DENIAL of that which RAISES HIS EYEBROW. CHOP shall ENTERTAIN YOUR IDEA>"
>"Really?! Ye-"
"AT THE AGREEANCE THAT CHOP CAN SMASH THIS HALF TRAINING AT ANY POINT."
>"That's fine, that's fine! I just want one chance, and I'll give it my best! Anything else you'd want me to do?"
"PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS by ENGAGING IN CHOP TRAINING."
>"Are you kidding? That's basically my life dream outside of teaching myself! As long as I get some time off to teach myself, I'll be sure to work twice as hard when I'm learning from you to make up for it."
"THESE WORDS of yours have PROVEN THEIR STRENGTH to LIFT CHOP'S EYEBROWS BEYOND PREVIOUS ELEVATIONS. HOWEVER. ACCEPTABLE."

With this RARE OCCURRENCE OF CHOP GENEROSITY, the TALKING has NOW DIED, and CHOP must engage in FUTURE ACTIONS for any REMAINING DUTIES.
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No. 668468 ID: 57dfcc

>>668467
Well, I guess remedial training for babbies is now a thing. Welcome to kobold kindergarten kiddos.

Hmm. Is there anything to do besides continuing training? Now we roped rockeater and puny instructor into it too.
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No. 668544 ID: e114bc

>>668467
Did we decide on a specific magical training schedule for Lumei? Also, do a strength test right now to see if she can break through her psychological barrier now that she's experienced being stronger than she is.

One issue, if Basic Instructor participates in Chop Training, won't he start to get too strong for his students to beat him and thus graduate? Or was that like, for students that want to graduate early?

Lastly... get some recipes for your own use that use your ingredients but don't taste like fire. Because variety.
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No. 668596 ID: 78923e

I think the CHIEF needs to be given a sound LASHING to provide him a lesson on ADEQUATE RESPECT, as well as ADEQUATE PROVISION OF INFORMATION TO HIS PROFESSIONALS on MATTERS OF THEIR PROFESSIONAL SUBJECTS.

This lashing shall be METAPHORICALLY GIVEN WITH TONGUES, but should still metaphorically STRIP THE FLESH FROM HIS BONES. He should by now heard of all SHENANIGANS, and should be vulnerable to the knowledge that they stem ultimately from his NOT CONSULTING CHOP before SUBVERTING CHOP'S AUTHORITY to permit something which EVIDENTLY CHOP WOULD HAVE PERMITTED HIMSELF. The Chief appears to be under the impression that the mighty Chop is somehow UNREASONABLE.

WHERESOEVER THIS MYSTERIOUS IDEA CAME FROM IT MUST BE DESTROYED.
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No. 668627 ID: 91ee5f

>>668467
I think Lumei should get an increase in rank, because out of all of the new recruits, she's the one with the most experience and deserves a rank increase! She'll be one rank above the new guys, but still far below Stasrubis and Chop.

(Like how in real life, some martial arts have belt colors to show rank. I think Lumei should get the next color up! Or whatever Chop's idea of "next rank up" is.)
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No. 668629 ID: 91ee5f

>>668627
Also, don't forget about the agreement you had with Shabin!
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No. 668686 ID: 840526

That sounds fine to me! And you get to teach the teacher, so everyone should know the proper order of things. As is only proper.
Sounds like it is almost all sorted out...just a loose end or two to clear up right?
You have to help a certain rock eater now I do believe.
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No. 668719 ID: dd338c
File 144184810270.png - (102.69KB , 800x800 , 430.png )
668719

>One issue, if Basic Instructor participates in Chop Training, won't he start to get too strong for his students to beat him and thus graduate?
There is NO GRADUATION from INTENSE STUDY AND EFFORT.

ONLY QUITTING.

>I think the CHIEF needs to be given a sound LASHING to provide him a lesson on ADEQUATE RESPECT
This LASHING shall be in the form of INTENSE CHOP TRAINING.

>Increase Lumei's rank
By VIRTUE OF VALIANT EFFORT, LUMEI and SHEEMUS are now known as LUMEI AND SHEEMUS instead of PUNY AND DAINTY NAMES that CHOP shall NOT EVEN BOTHER TO RECALL.

"The EVENT known as TODAY shall now COME TO A CLOSE. TOMORROW. The ROCK EATER and the INSTRUCTOR shall meet alongside the RECRUITS to be TAUGHT IN THE WAYS OF TEACHING at MORNING."
>"Okay! I'll be there."
>"By the way, when he says morning, he means about an hour before dawn." LUMEI whispers the STRATEGIES of NON-TARDY WARRIORS.
"LUMEI shall have a SPECIAL TRAINING REGIMENT involving THE SAME AMOUNT OF PHYSICAL LABOR as well as MAGICAL MUSCLE TRAINING."
>"Yes sir." LUMEI RESPONDS.
>"Yes sir." PRINCESS RESPONDS
"BOTH SHALL SAY SO AGAIN with less than the EIGHTY PERCENT FEAR CONTENT THAT LUMEI HAS SENT TO DIE WITHIN CHOP'S EARS."
>"Yes, sir!"
>"Yes, sir!"

CHOP is under the impression that the CHIEF believes CHOP to be UNREASONABLE.

OTHER PRIORITIES REMAIN, but at a FUTURE TIME, CHOP shall SHOW THE CHIEF an UNRELENTING ONSLAUGHT OF BEING REASONABLE.
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No. 668720 ID: dd338c
File 144184813032.png - (131.42KB , 800x800 , 431.png )
668720

The next MORNING that is the HOUR BEFORE DAWN has arrived. ALL RECRUITS and NEW RECRUITS are ON TIME.

"Is the ROCK EATER PRESENT?"
>"Uh, yeah, I'm right behind you."
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No. 668721 ID: dd338c
File 144184817960.png - (163.84KB , 800x800 , 432.png )
668721

"ONE HUNDRED PERCENT INCORRECT. Is the INSTRUCTOR PRESENT?"
>"Uhhhhhhhhhh yes? Sir?"
"TWO HUNDRED PERCENTAGES OF INCORRECT. The two PILES OF MALLEABLE FLUFF that LIE BEFORE CHOP'S EYES neither INSTRUCT NOR EAT ROCKS WITHIN THE DOJO."

What shall their NEW TRAINEE NAMES BE, such that they may EARN THEIR TRUE NAMES WHEN THE TIME COMES?
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No. 668724 ID: ea0ad9

>What shall their NEW TRAINEE NAMES BE, such that they may EARN THEIR TRUE NAMES WHEN THE TIME COMES?
PUPPY and SASSFANG.
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No. 668725 ID: bb78f2

>>668721
The INSTRUCTOR will be known as LAMBCHOP for being a SOFT SHEEP WANNABE CHOP

ROCK EATER will be known as... actually I have nothing. She's tough. I mean, she has some HAMLEGS but CHOP does NOT CALL OUT HAM-SHAPED LEGS. FLUFFYPANTS I guess.

But no seriously, damn girl, she got the ham legs.
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No. 668727 ID: 7debe0

LAZYBONES, who believes gratuitous resting should be part of one's training regimen, and FUSSYFEET who loves to get into other people's business and cause them great inconvenience.
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No. 668728 ID: 57dfcc

>>668721
Rock eater shall be FLUFF EARS.

The instructor will be WHISPERWEIGHT. He has not yet earned the right to be even a LIGHTWEIGHT.
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No. 668793 ID: 13fcf9

Wannabe 1 and wannabe 2, the first one wants to be a trainer and the second wants to be a knoll.
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No. 668795 ID: c54703

I support SASSFANG for former Rock Eater. The instruction aspirant shall be the SNOOZETUTOR.
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No. 668928 ID: 136820

I see we have our two new recruits, DORK SOFTPUNCH, and SORE ROCKSMASH.
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No. 669330 ID: dd338c
File 144211994078.png - (110.07KB , 800x800 , 433.png )
669330

"THIS ONE wishes to LAY INSTRUCTIONAL PATHS towards becoming SOFT SHEEP-LIKE WARRIORS. THEREFORE, it shall be known as LAMBCHOP. THE ONE with FLUFFY PANTS shall be called SASSFANG."
>"That is a really lucky name to get." I hear the WHISPERS from the PEANUT GALLERY OF OLDER RECRUITS.
"There is NO LUCK. Although it OWNS THE ESSENCE OF MAGGOTS WITHIN THE DOJO, it is known that the DOJO is to SUPPLY WARRIOR WORTH TO THE CAVERNS. Since SASSFANG has proven OVERALL WORTH to the CAVERNS, it is WORTHY OF DOJO ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Furthermore, SASSFANG CLAIMED TO OWE CHOP A FAVOR."
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No. 669331 ID: dd338c
File 144211995494.png - (135.47KB , 800x800 , 434.png )
669331

>"Yeah, because I forgot I was already doing a favor with increasing the size of your recruits' shitty rooms."
"ACCEPTABLE FAVOR. As such, TRAINING FOR NEW AND OLD RECRUITS BEGINS NOW UNTIL FOREVER."
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