>>592224
EARLY! As a reward, they get to cook you breakfast.

>>592226
Second this and for being SISSY GOSSIP MONGERS they get to test out your new coal shoes! For coal traing everywhere!

Ahh! Wonderful, living weights for a nice morning workout. Lift them while you give them their criticism and punishments. Which are those above.

1/2 Chop 2014/09/02(Tue)14:47 No. 592237 ID: d470e9
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>new coal shoes
CHOP DOES NOT DEAL WITH MAGICAL INSTRUMENTS OF CHEATING SUCH AS THESE.

>"Yeah I'm not sure who makes breakfast around you."

"The ANSWER is BOTH OF THOSE WHO ARRIVE EARLY. The reward is COOKING BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS FOR ALL."
>"... what if we didn't get a reward." BEDHUGGER'S insolent voice fails to echo throughout the room.
"REWARD DENIERS are subject to being CHOP'S WEIGHTS FOR CHOP'S WEIGHTLIFT TRAINING SESSION."
>"I wouldn't mind actually just being lifted a few times for a change."
"HAHAHA CHOP DEMANDS ONLY THE HEAVIEST WEIGHTS. PUNY LITTLE KOBOLDS-IN-TRAINING require 5 YEARS TRAINING before becoming worthy of PARTICIPATION in CHOP'S WEIGHTLIFT TRAINING SESSION. BEDHUGGER and PRINCESS will either CREATE BREAKFAST or ENGAGE IN COAL-RELATED MORNING PUSHUPS."
>"Breakfast sounds nice."

"BEHOLD THE DESIGNATED FOOD CREATION ZONE."
>"We call it a kitchen."
"CHOP DOES NOT KNOW OF 'WE'. Do the partners of moon-training know the basics of COOK?"
>"I cooked a bit in my old place!" says PRINCESS, stepping up to the TASK like the ANT TO A BREADCRUMB FIVE TIMES ITS OWN SIZE.
"Then YOU shall be BEDHUGGER'S MENTOR. ASSIST YOURSELVES TO ANYTHING WITHIN THE PANTRY. KNOW THAT AT DAWN, ALL SHALL TASTE YOUR FOOD AND ALL SHALL JUDGE YOUR FOOD AND YOU."
>"Who normally cooks?" Bedhugger asks and therefore is NOT COOKING.
"THE PREVIOUS COOKERS ARE THOSE WHO EXPECT GREAT FOOD-FUELED PERFORMANCE."
>"You?"
"NO. THE WORLD."
>"... what. Nevermind. Princess, what do we have to work with?"

2/2 Chop 2014/09/02(Tue)14:47 No. 592238 ID: d470e9
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>"Uh... oh, geez. Preserved slugmeat."
>"That is it?"
>"Don't worry! It's not so bad. I mean, on its own it's absolutely horrible, but it gets really drowned out with spices, so we just need something good. Let's see, here's a spicerack... uh, Klabis -"
"DO NOT SPEAK OF OUTSIDERS WITHIN THE HALLOWED CHAMBERS OF FOOD CREATION."
>".... we might have a problem, Bedhugger. I think I just found out why our breakfasts are usually.... challenging."
"Oh, no. Can you do anything about it?"
>"Well, yes, but... if Chop lets me. I mean, I guess it's kind of a tradition to have breakfast requiring discipline. Chop, if you want us to do this task, can we do it our way?"

they can do it their way, BUT if it is a failure they will be punished.

Chop approves of initiative and drive in puny things accomplishing their tasks. At least, if they are successful.

SUCCESS IS ITS OWN JUSTIFICATION.

OF COURSE they can TAKE IT UPON THEMSELVES to PERFORM THEIR TASK. But if they DO IT THEIR WAY and they FAIL TO SUCCEED with the SUCCESS OF SUCCESSORS, then their punishment shall be increased TEN FOLD OF TEN FOLDS.

YOUR WAY IS THE ONLY WAY, YOUNG PUNYLING WARRIORS! HAVE YOU BEEN NOT LISTENING TO CHOP'S UNDERLYING PHILOSOPHY? PERHAPS ESSAYS ARE IN ORDER! NOTICE CHOP'S SUBTEXT! CHOP IS NOT ALL DIRECT!

They may choose, their way or using CHOP'S TOOLS of COOKING.

1/2 Chop 2014/09/05(Fri)21:11 No. 592823 ID: d470e9
File 140997666498.png - (132.38KB , 800x800 , 307.png )

>"Its JUSTIFICATION shall rely entirely upon its own SUCCESS! Should it create an ADEQUATE MEAL using its own MINIATURE TECHNIQUES, CHOP shall give his APPROVAL."

CHOP stands over them, EYEING THEIR SHAKING, UNCERTAIN MOVEMENTS OF QUESIONABLE COOKING ABILITY.

>"Okay!" The PAMPERED PRINCESS declares, sounding between a mix of PRIDE and POSSIBLE REGRET. "The stew is ready to be rolled out to the breakfast place. Do you want to take a sample?"
"CHOP SHALL TASTE THIS KOBOLD MERSEL'S MORSEL OF FOOD."

2/2 Chop 2014/09/05(Fri)21:11 No. 592824 ID: d470e9
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THE PRINCESS, through methods that CHOP can only consider FOREIGN, UNDISCOVERED MAGIC, has transformed the essence of FIRE POWDER and RAW PAIN into SUGAR, GOOD FEELINGS and WARM SENTIMENTS that now lie in this cauldron that, for MOONS AND WINTERS, have contained naught but PAINFUL TRIBULATIONS IN LIQUID AND SOMETIMES SOLID FORM.

hold strong chop, say that they have managed to pass. don't need to say how well they did just that they did.

>>592824
Positive reinforcement is a valuable part of any training. A "WELL DONE" should be adequate for this situation.

so they have made a passable meal, now all they need to do is make sure that they have made enough for the rest of there sparing partners and this can be chalked up to a pass. As for a reward they shall soak in there own success as success is it's own reward.

>>592824
Tell them this is not the sort of thing you normally eat, but also that you are impressed they managed to coax such a soft meal out of such hard ingredients. How did they do it?

I think that's a good thing.

I mean better food means healthier bolds. Plus you could make the good food a reward for whoever proved themselves during the days training. Can keep the old stuff for people who do not give 126%.

Oh well, these students are still training their outsides. Training their insides can wait, for now.

>>592824
So... the obvious question. Is this a good thing, Chop?

On the one hand, students preforming impossible feats seems good. And maybe good food fuels good training. Or is this new food no longer strong enough to test and train those who consume it?

>>592838
Agree on the bad stuff given to puny weaklings that persist in unkoboldly whining, give them a MINOR WORD on their success, but shout at them that you expect thousands of percentages of effort given to this work.

PRINCESS. You have given HUNDREDS OF PERCENTS. BEDHUGGER should LEARN from you. THIS IS THE EFFORT I EXPECT DURING TRAINING.
FOR FAILING TO GIVE A TENTH MORE THAN A HUNDRED PERCENT, BEDHUGGER WILL CARRY THE MEAL TO THE OTHERS. If any PUNY KITTENS try and WHINE or COMPLAIN they will be GIVEN ONLY THE SCRAPS YOUR LABOR.

Sugar, good feelings, and warm sentiments? That doesn't sound like food it sounds like CANDY, the bane of all warriors.

Chop 2014/09/07(Sun)14:30 No. 593117 ID: d470e9
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"This CONCOCTION OF INGREDIENTS have been COMBINED to form CANDY, the BANE OF ALL WARRIORS."
>"No, no!" says PRINCESS. "You saw us, we were just using ingredients from the kitchen! We can't transform that into things that are any, uh, less unhealthy than what was already here."
"Chop ACKNOWLEDGES this, and shall give MINOR WORD OF APPROVAL. BEDHUGGER shall learn from PRINCESS, who COOKS like WARRIOR FAIRY. CHOP EXPECTS HUNDREDS OF PERCENTAGES OF EFFORT TO CONTINUE."

The FOOD is DELIVERED into the LITTLE MOUTHS of LITTLE WARRIORS.

ALL except for PUNYLOCKS.

>>593117
Is that WIMPY STASRUBIS out there TAKING UP HER TIME again? I thought PUNYLOCKS was SMARTER than to GET DISTRACTED. It appears that she has FORGOTTEN HER TRAINING and needs a SERIOUS REMINDER.

>>593117
She is LATE! Time to go knock down her door.

Is PUNYLOCKS currently LATE? This is UNACCEPTABLE.

Inquire if your students have any information regarding this alarming irregularity. Then give them their first task to begin when they have finished eating, while you leave to retrieve Punylocks.

Punylocks' portion of the food is not to be kept warm for her. Those who are LATE can expect cold food if they are very lucky. Or no food at all. Food shall be kept warm for the very late, in the form of a meal of hot coals.

give those here a regular training assignment while you go retrieve punylocks for a HARD training assignment.

>>593120
I wonder if you could add a topping of HOT STEAM to those HOT COALS. A diet of KOBOLDLY AIR would drive out those fumes of SISSY WEAKNESS from those FLAPPY LUNGS OF GIRLISH DEPOSITION in their bodies

Chop 2014/09/09(Tue)19:03 No. 593489 ID: d470e9
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CHOP gives RECRUITS the DIFFICULT TRAINING of LOADING AND HEATING ALL COALS in preparation for CHOP BRINGING LATE WHIMPERERS TO THE DOJO FOR BRUTAL TRAINING.

This COMBINATION OF LETTERS upon PUNYLOCK'S DOOR assemble to form UNFAMILIAR MESSAGES.

Sickness! The ENEMY TO ALL WARRIORS OF BONE AND MEAT. Let us visit the TACTICIAN OF THE BODY'S BATTLES WITH ILLNESS, also known as a DOCTOR, to find out exactly which of the MANIFOLD FOES OF THE FLESH it is that PUNYLOCKS is locked in combat with.

Thus we may decide how to fully maximize our BRUTAL COUNTERATTACK.

>>593489
You can just ask Punylocks herself what her sickness is. Knock sortof-quietly.

Swiftly REMOVE this obstruction with POWER UNMATCHED and SILENCE ALSO UNMATCHED. PUNYLOCKS knows better than to miss out on training, there must be a good reason!

>Doctor Sleelus
Clearly this wizard has CURSED PUNYLOCKS. You need to GO TEACH HIM A LESSON.

But first, KNOCK QUIETLY. And by QUIETLY I mean USING THE THE WORD KNOCK instead of CASTING THE SPELL. The WORD has POWER, but is QUIETER THAN CASTING THE SPELL.

>>593503
Agree but even in sickness must a kobold do training. I still say a good steam bath would do wonders for whatever weak flabby ease for a disease currently runs through punylocks' veins

punylocks is still weak enough that falling prey to an illness can happen. Chop does not get sick due to being too strong.

1/2 Chop 2014/09/09(Tue)21:57 No. 593521 ID: d470e9
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It is CHOP'S INTENTION to find what FOE OF THE BODY has attacked PUNYLOCKS, who's WEAKLING TRAINING has been INSUFFICIENT TO ALLOW SUCH AFFLICTIONS TO TAKE HOLD.

"POWERWORD: KNOCK KNOCK."
>"uuuuung... come in, it's not locked..."

2/2 Chop 2014/09/09(Tue)21:57 No. 593522 ID: d470e9
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"CHOP HAS ARRIVED TO DO BATTLE WITH THAT WHICH HAS INDUCED PUNYLOCKS TO BEHAVE AS A DEAD SLUG."
>"I... was going to go in today, Chop, I can at least do some fighting practice, but the doctors told me I better not. They don't say it's anything serious, but I won't recover if I don't rest."
"CHOP would seek out a TACTICIAN OF ILLNESS WARS for a SECOND OPINION, but CHOP has been BANNED FROM THE MEDICAL QUARTERS for PETTY REASONS CHOP CONSIDERS UNWORTHY OF RECALLING FROM MEMORY."
>"Has... that ever stopped you from entering a place, though? Maybe I can do basic training."
"CORRECT. INTERNAL WARFARE has ZERO CARE PERCENTAGES for EXTERNAL BATTLES. BOTH can occur at ANY MOMENT for the WEAK OF BODY. TO TRAIN BEYOND IT IS ONE MILLION PERCENT."
>"Stasrubis also says that resting your own body is important whenever you can, and we don't have any external battles right now, do we?"

CHOP can either TRAIN PUNLOCKS IN THE WAYS OF COMBAT WHILE HINDERED WITH FRAILTY AND BECOME DOUBLE-BANNED, or IGNORE this medical BAN and SEEK this SLEELUS for A DOCTOR'S ESSAY ON PUNYLOCK'S SICKNESS for MAXIMUM KNOWLEDGE.

Carry the puny weakling slug who can only flail about helplessly as you make your way to the puny doctors who can't even punch their way through a medicine cabinet

If she is to WAGE A WAR inside her body then TRAIN HER INSIDES. Get her in STEAM AND SMOKE to TRAIN HER LUNGS. Get her FED TO TRAIN HER STOMACH. And get her some BOOKS TO TRAIN HER MIND.
If TACTICIANS OF PHYSICAL HEALTH say that she MUST NOT FIGHT OUTSIDE HER BODY to recover, then SHE MUST KEEP HER FIGHTS INSIDE, or else KEEP TO NONPHYSICAL TRAINING. Such as FIGHTING WITH WORDS.

>>593522
IGNORE BAN, acquire knowledge on exactly what sort of sick she's got.

Internal and external warfare may not care about each other, but a puny body will be hard pressed to fight two wars.

Give Punylocks leave to fight her internal battle while you obtain MAXIMUM KNOWLEDGE.

The time for TRAINING is not WHEN ACTUAL BATTLE IS ALREADY JOINED. Make note to begin INNARDS TRAINING for recruits soon, then see to OUTMANEUVERING the SLOW ARM OF THE LAW by sending a LESSER WARRIOR to visit the medical quarters and retrieve the information you desire. While doing so, they can see to becoming LESS LESSER by running there. On their hands.

Hmm, a concern.
CONTAGIONS!
The INNER BATTLE may stretch to the other PUNYLINGS, even ones not under CHOP'S TUTILIGE!

Acquire KNOWLEDGE to be STRONG of MIND

Chop 2014/09/14(Sun)11:16 No. 594070 ID: d470e9
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"PUNYLOCKS will REPORT FOR DOJO DUTY for STEAMBATH AND FIGHTING INTERNAL BATTLE."
>"I might get others sick, though..."
"INTERNAL BATTLES FOR ALL, THEN."

CHOP IGNORES THE BAN and performs the MEDICAL POWER WALK to GAIN SUCH KNOWLEDGE.

>"Chop, please, you're getting - "
"THE KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT HAS PLAGUED PUNYLOCKS."
>"Who?"
"PUNYLOCKS."
>"Saying it louder doesn't help! I don't know who that is."
"THE PUNY ONE WITH PUNY LOCKS UPON ITS DOOR."
>".... we haven't treated anyone recently who had locks on their doors."
"CHOP has SMASHED its DOORLOCKS, but their SPIRIT OF PUNINESS HOLES TRUE."
>"Look, Chop... we're all puny to you. Can you, uh, just... leave, now? We have a lot of work to do. We'll do what we can for... Punylocks."

The half-dragonbold! The puny dragon!

>>594070
Okay two choices here:
1) Just say her name, Lumei.
2) Describe her further, as the half-draconic girl with curiously-detailed eyes.

The doctor cannot have treated so many puny kobolds this morning that he cannot tell one from another?

Punylocks. The student with half kobold and half kobold parentage? About this tall, uses many long words, uses water magic, has big green eyes?

PUNYLOCKS is the PUNY KOBOLD who is HALF KOBOLD and HALF KOBOLD to be ALL PUNY KOBOLD of PUNY KOBOLDNESS. She is LESS PUNY than MOST PUNY KOBOLDS, though, and has PUNY PUPILS IN HER NOT PUNY EYES THAT ARE NOT PUNY IN THE SENSE OF HOW TALL THEY ARE, VERY MUCH LIKE HOW HER BODY IS BOTH PUNY AND NOT PUNY AT THE SAME TIME.
She has PUNY HORNS and PUNY EARS and PRACTICES THE COWARD'S ART OF MAGIC WITH WATER, but is STRONG ENOUGH OF HEART to NOT BE A COWARD when PRACTICING THE WAY OF A WARRIOR, so you will IGNORE HER COWARDLY POWER and instead FOCUS ON HER PUNY STRENGTHS THAT GROW AT PUNY RATES.

Chop 2014/09/15(Mon)21:35 No. 594298 ID: 537e57
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"PUNYLOCKS is the HALF KOBOLD, HALF KOBOLD, ALL PUNY hybrid. It is STRONG ENOUGH OF HEART to go against its COWARDLY WATER MAGIC WAYS in favor of POWERFIST WAYS. It is LESS PUNY THAN MOST, yet AS FRAIL. Her EYES are ABNORMALLY GIGANTIC to its PUNY HEAD, of which wields TINY HORNS UNFIT FOR BATTLE WITH FLUFFY WAMBLERS."
>"Goddamn, the half draconic one, why didn't you just say it was her?!"
"PERHAPS THE HEALER SHOULD INVESTIGATE ITS OWN EARS, as CHOP was FAST AS THE MIGHTY CHEETAH to INFORM ILL-EARS of CHOP'S INTENT TO IDENTIFY PUNYLOCK'S PERIL."
>"Her name is Lumei! Lumei! If you want to call them whatever in the Dojo, that's fine, but out here, she's Lumei! That's her name! Did you even know that?!"

The BONE UNBREAKER appears both UNCOOPERATIVE and TEMPTED TO SPEW NONSENSE FROM ITS MAW THAT LEAVES CHOP TO WONDER HOW IT HAS NOT STARVED to death by an INABILITY TO CHEW ITS OWN FOOD.

Get your intimidation on, chop. The bonebreaker needs to be answering questions, not jabbering about names.

NAMES are not IMPORTANT.

What is IMPORTANT is that the BONEBREAKER ELUCIDATE the manner of ILLNESS so it can be slain with GREAT KNOWLEDGE.

CHOP DEMANDS the PUNY ONE'S ILLNESS

As her MENTOR, it is ABSOLUTELY 1000% necessary to be informed of the health of CHOP'S PUNY PUPILS. ALL of the PERCENTS.
Do you HAVE NO respect for the CONTRIBUTIONS CHOP brings to the CAVE? The POWERFUL WARRIORS that make it so you CONTINUE your THRIVING existence? CHOP MUST KNOW! When DUMBLING MAGE PUPILS are SICK, you NOTIFY their MENTORS. REGARDLESS of PERSONAL FEELINGS towards CHOP, the CAVE INFRASTRUCTURE is DEPENDENT on COMPLETE COEXISTENCE!

>>594298
Chop knows all his recruit's names. Once they have earned it, Chop will call them by those names. Now, Chop demands to know what inner battle Punylocks struggles with.

Weak Babies only get proper warrior names when they can impress CHOP with there STRENGTH.

What is wrong with my Pupil?

Chop DOES NOT CARE if the WARRIOR OF BROKEN BONES wishes to call PUNYLOCKS BY HER WARRIOR NAME, but Chop did not come here to DEBATE HER TITLES. What Chop did come for is to LEARN OF HER INTERNAL ENEMY, so that Chop can BETTER TRAIN HER TO FIGHT IT.

Chop's CURRENT STRATEGY is STEAM AND SMOKE to get the LUNGS STRONGER and OPEN THE PORES SO HER STRENGTH CAN STRIKE AT ALL POINTS. The HEAT OF THE BATTLE will also help to KILL THE ENEMY THAT IS SO PUNY CHOP CANNOT EVEN SEE IT WITH HIS VERY STRONG EYES, as Chop knows that THESE TINY ENEMIES CANNOT STAND THE HEAT.

To be NAMED TRUE by one's teacher is a sign that one has been acknowledged as being able to stand on one's own! For CHOP to refer to his students by name before then, even to others, would be to MAKE LIGHT of the ACHIEVEMENTS which they strive to attain! By stepping into the dojo, and choosing to return there again, Chop's students have accepted that they are SOFT CLAY, to be DEFTLY PUMMELED into works of MARTIAL ART - and an artist does not give their works their proper name until they are completed!!

All that the healer need concern himself is whether THE DUTIES OF CHOP ARE BEING DUTIFULLY FULFILLED, and he can be assured that Chop's NAMING CONVENTIONS are part of this effort, as are his attempts to DISCERN WHAT ILLNESS ASSAILS HIS SEMI-DRACONIAN STUDENT.

Chop 2014/09/24(Wed)16:30 No. 595653 ID: 602cd8
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"CHOP does not CONCERN ONE'S OWN GREY MATTER with such a topic as NAMES. If the TALKATIVE DISEASE FIGHTER insists, CHOP shall give them all RESPECTFUL NAMES when they become RESPECTFUL KOBOLD WARRIORS. FOR NOW, CHOP must know ALL HEALTH STATISTICS of PUNY PUPILS. PUNYGLOCKS is in THE HEAT OF BATTLE under the STRATEGY OF STEAM AND SMOKE so that ALL PUPILS ARE HEALTHY AND CAPABLE OF DEFENDING ALL CAVE DENIZENS, NO MATTER HOW UNGRATEFUL SOME SUCH AS THE BONE MENDER MAY BE.
>"Look, we're very appreciative, Chop, but you kind of... look... when it's between living with you and getting attacked by goblins or humans or whatever, sometimes it's a tough choice. A lot of us feel that way. As for Lumei? She has the common cold. That's it. Not 'great ailment of terrible fate' or 'puny excuse of laying down' or whatever you want to call it. Please repeat after me. The common cold."

>the common cold
Then this WEAK AND COMMON AILMENT shall be summarily CRUSHED as is befitiing such a PUNY ILLNESS. An APPROPRIATE CHALLENGE for PUNY STUDENTS.

Bid the BONEBREAKER adieu, over his protests, and depart.

>>595653
Then we expect Punylocks to CRUSH the common cold!

The Common cold is no weak enemy. It's so strong that despite centuries of trying no one has ever found a cure!

You should make this the focus of your training for the day. Ways for a warrior to treat and avoid disease.

CHOP'S WEAK yet HEALTHY PUPILS shall aid PUNYLOCKS in CRUSHING this COMMON COLD, but shall do so in a manner that also CHALLENGES THEIR MEAGER SKILLS!

The TINY STUDENTS will run a GAUNTLET in which they must avoid FOES and OBSTACLES, as they SAFELY FERRY SPOONFULS of the PRINCESSE'S NOT-CANDY CONCOCTION with out SPILLING A DROP.

Their GOAL is to reach the END where the ONE OF PUNYLOCKS IS TRAINING and FEED HER before the NOURISHMENT GROWS COLD. This will help TRAIN their SPEED, BALANCE, and DEXTARITY!

It will be like an EGG RACE! Only with PARKOUR and POTENTIALLY NOURISHING GRUEL!

1/5 Chop 2014/10/01(Wed)17:16 No. 596718 ID: 602cd8
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"CHOP SHALL BID THE PRESENT ADIEU."
>"What?"

2/5 Chop 2014/10/01(Wed)17:16 No. 596719 ID: 602cd8
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"PUNYLOCKS."
>"Yes?"
"EVERYONE"
>"Yes?"
>"Yes?"
>"Yes?"
>"Yes?"
"TODAY IS THE TRAINING FOR THE DESTRUCTION AND CRUSHING OF ALL CURRENT ILLNESSES AND ALL ILLNESSES OF THE FUTURE. TODAY'S LESSON FOR THE PRESENT IS DEXTERITY. ALL shall gather a SPOONFUL OF PRINCESS UNCANDY and WALK IT TO PUNYLOCKS, while AVOIDING HAZARDS CHOP WILL THINK OF IN MERE SECONDS. BEGIN."

3/5 Chop 2014/10/01(Wed)17:17 No. 596720 ID: 602cd8
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CHOP can only describe the FOLLOWING SCENE to be TRAGIC.

NONETHELESS, eventually PUNYLOCKS has had her TINY STOMACH FILLED with BUT A FEW SPOONFULS.

4/5 Chop 2014/10/01(Wed)17:17 No. 596721 ID: 602cd8
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"IT IS NOW TIME FOR TODAY'S LESSON FOR THE FUTURE OF ILLNESS AVOIDANCE. HYGIENE."
>"What?" asks the PERPLEXED BEDHUGGER, whos BRAIN HAS SUCCUMBED TO THE ILLNESS OF GREAT IGNORANCE.

CHOP SMASHES a BLANK TABLET into a *BLANK TABLET ENGRAVED WITH A MASTERFUL DRAWING of a KOBOLD TAKING A GLORIOUS SHOWER*.

>"ALL SHALL EXPLAIN TO THE CLASS WHAT THIS KOBOLD IS DOING."

5/5 Chop 2014/10/01(Wed)17:17 No. 596722 ID: 602cd8
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From LEFT to RIGHT all answer.

>"Uh... wasting water."
>"I... cooling off?"
>"Having a harmless water spell backfire?"
>"Trying to play it cool when some pranksters dump a bucket of water on him like he enjoys it!"
>"What Bedhugger said."
>"What Kissy Face 2... or 1 or whoever is the guy says."

>>596722
WRONG. This kobold is DRIVING BACK THE DIRT MENACE THAT PLAGUES HIS BODY. Seriously, nobody here has ever taken a bath before?

...maybe you should add soap to the drawing. Is soap even a thing cave-dwelling kobolds have?

Oh man you have your work cut out for you Chop. If they do not know about the basics that means that no one here probably does. You are going to have to teach everyone in the caves at this point.

>>596724
Well, no, these six came from outside camps. Chop probably bathes/showers often enough that the water would have to be plentiful enough for everybody to do it.

VERY WELL, since PUNYLOCKS is a WIZARD OF WATER, she shall CAST UPON HER ALLIES HARMLESS WATER SPELLS. They shall IMITATE THE DRAWING and PRETEND IT IS A PRANK that they are PRETENDING TO BE ENJOYING so as to SEEM TO BE COOLING OFF. They shall RUB THE WATER INTO THEIR FUR and CONTINUE THIS for HUNDREDS OF MINUTES until CHOP SAYS ENOUGH, at which point CHOP EXPECTS A REAL ANSWER.

>>596732
YES!!!!

PAY HEED. Illness is spread by INVISIBLE GHOSTS that are attracted by FILTH. Beginning from one ALREADY POSSESSED BY SICKNESS, or any of their leavings, the ghost INVADES your body and, if your body is not SUFFICIENTLY STRONG, it will take hold! These ghosts are MANY in variety, but there are several that give away their ghostly nature by causing the unfortunate host to expel ECTOPLASMIC HUMORS. A true WARRIOR BODY, healthy both inside and out, will repel these ghosts, though they may yet pass the vile spirit to another while the initial battle rages!

By GROOMING, with water or, if water is in short supply, steam or sand, you remove both FILTH and any UNREMARKED LEAVINGS OF ILLNESS that one may not realize has gotten on their body. Eliminating these does not guarantee safety from INVISIBLE GHOSTS, but reduces their ability to gain purchase greatly! Consider the act of BATHING as the regular patrol of sentries around a camp. A truly skilled enemy might yet penetrate, but the effort is still more than worthwhile! In addition, you will all smell better, which will improve your FOCUS, which is as just demonstrated often lacking!

Also, beware INVINCIBLE GOATS, for reasons that are SELF-EVIDENT.

Chop has some impressive tablet smashing skills, there.

>You are going to have to teach everyone in the caves at this point.
It would probably be easier for chop to divert a river into the caves than to force every puny kobold in the system to overcome their own ignorance.

1/3 Chop 2014/11/02(Sun)14:39 No. 600212 ID: 602cd8
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>Is soap even a thing cave-dwelling kobolds have?
In the RARE OCCURENCE of TRADING, we have EXPERIENCED THE USAGE OF SOAP. However, its MANUFACTURING SECRETS HAVE ELUDED OUR GREATEST INVENTORS.

We BATHE with WATER, SPIRIT, and POLISHED ROCK.

Though 'WE' is NOT AS INCLUSIVE as CHOP'S HOPES have WISHED.

>If they do not know about the basics that means that no one here probably does.
ALL RESPECTABLE WARRIORS and EVEN NON-WARRIORS OF THE CAVE have been CONFIRMED FOR HYGENIC COMPETENCE. That the SMELLY EARTHWORMS OF KOBOLDS remain as such this far into WARRIOR TRAINING SIGNIFIES A FAILURE OF CHOP'S OWN RESPONSIBILITY. This FAILURE will meet IMMINENT DESTRUCTION BY CHOP'S OWN WILL.

"WRONGGGG. This KOBOLD OF ATTRACTIVE SMELL is DRIVING BACK THE DIRT MENACE THAT PLAGUES HIS BODY."
>"Oh... yeah I... should have known that, but I thought this cave didn't have kobolds that bathed." says PUNYLOCKS, of which CHOP SHOULD FEEL OFFENDED yet must ADMIT this ASSUMPTION IS REASONABLE.
"All shall now be INTRODUCED TO THE FINE ART OF BATHING. BEHOLD, CHOP's personal stash of FINE SOAP CARVED FROM THE CLEANEST OF ROCKS. APPLY VIGOROUSLY TO BODY to REPEL ALL INVISIBLE GHOSTS OF PLAGUE ATTRACTED TO ONE'S FILTH. PUNYGLOCKS SHALL SUPPLY WATER. BEDHUGGER, BEGIN."

3/3 Chop 2014/11/02(Sun)14:39 No. 600214 ID: 602cd8
File 141496797888.png - (168.40KB , 800x800 , 323.png )

".... PUNYGLOCKS SHALL APPLY MORE WATER."
>"I'm... a little out of practice. You told me to stop using water magic."

>You told me to stop using water magic.
What? You said that WARRIORS did not need the POWERS OF A WEAK WIZARD, not to STOP PRACTICING THEM. If you HAVE THE POWER, then MAKE IT STRONG. Make yourself into a POWERFUL WARRIOR MAGE, rather than a WEAK AND SCRAWNY ONE. Even the HEALERS understand the point of BEING STRONG AS WELL, for they are trained to RUN INTO THE BATTLEGROUND, HEEDLESS OF DANGER.

>>600214
Unacceptable. She should be keeping up with her magical studies in her free time. Chop cannot deny magic's usefulness so to keep her from getting rusty like this she should have like 10 minutes of practice after gym time each day. No sacrifices of physical training, but she can train her magic.

Actually considering her physical training is sub-par due to the sickness perhaps she can focus mainly on magical training until she's better. How about some target practice for starters? After everyone's taken some goddamn baths anyway.

>>600214
NO. CHOP said to stop RELYING on WATER MAGIC. Puny students will not get STRONGER if they use one ability EXCLUSIVELY to cover for other WEAKNESSES. But this does not mean one should make themselves WEAKER by discarding an ability altogether!

A WARRIOR must train BODY and MIND. First Punylocks allowed her body to suffer by focusing on her mind, now her mind has suffered by focusing on body. She must learn to excel at EVERYTHING at the SAME TIME.

>>600214
Whoops. They could probably wash with just rocks dipped in the hot water in the pot you put Punylocks in.
The water magic training issue can be rectified when you are finished dealing with UNCLEAN KOBOLDS.

A BOLDING uses EVERYTHING at DISPOSAL. It NEVER should stop FLEXING a SINGLE MUSCLE, even MAGIC ONES.
WE FLEX BODY, MIND, AND SOUL!

1/5 Chop 2014/11/11(Tue)22:03 No. 601705 ID: 602cd8
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"NO. CHOP instructed the FOOLISH NEGLECTOR OF MAGIC MUSCLE to NOT RELY ON MAGIC FOR PHYSICAL TRAINING. WARRIORS must train BODY AND MIND. PUNYGLOCKS shall REGAIN HER MAGICAL PROWESS while the others RETURN THE WATER TO A BOIL AND BATHE WITHIN IT."
>"... a boil, as in -"
"AS IN A BOIL. ALL SHALL TURN SMUDGELESS AS A CLOUDLESS SKY, AND NEW CLOTHES SHALL BE GRANTED VIA CHANNELING CHOP'S CHARITY SUPPLY OF BABY CLOTHES. PUNYLOCKS shall SEARCH THE SKILL LOST WITHIN HER MAGIC MIND AFTERWARDS."

2/5 Chop 2014/11/11(Tue)22:05 No. 601706 ID: 602cd8
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ATTEMPTS AT ALL BATHING ARE PATHETIC.

However, ALL NON-HALF KOBOLDS have RETURNED FROM THE POT of NOT-REALLY-BOILING WATER due to BABY SKIN SYNDROME.

Chop's DUTIFUL EYEBALLS sense AN AWRY VISAGE on PRINCESS.

4/5 Chop 2014/11/11(Tue)22:06 No. 601708 ID: 602cd8
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"CHOP CASTS ENHANCE: VISION"
>"... why are you squinting at me?" PRINCESS ASKS, with ZERO comprehension of CHOP'S MIGHTY MAGIC.

5/5 Chop 2014/11/11(Tue)22:06 No. 601709 ID: 602cd8
File 141577238644.png - (44.05KB , 800x800 , 328.png )

SMUUUUUUDGE

>>601709
Call her over. Then slowly and deliberately lick your thumb and clean that smudge. Then have her do laps as punishment for failing her bath-test.

>>601709
That's it! If she made one smudge, she might have made more. She has to start all over.

PRINCESS should ADHERE TO HER NAMESAKE, and PRACTICE PERFECTION IN HER OWN IMAGE. CHOP EXPECTS ALL STUDENT WARRIORS to SCRUB EACH AND EVERY SPOT at least SEVERAL TIMES OVER, so that they can remove EVEN THE SMALLEST SPECK OF DIRT, and is DISAPPOINTED IN PRINCESS for being the one to FAIL SO BADLY.

DO YOU INSULT CHOP'S EYES?
This is UNPRESENTABLE. You will now cover yourself in coals AND WASH YOURSELF AGAIN.

1/2 Chop 2014/11/18(Tue)20:34 No. 603622 ID: 602cd8
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"The PRINCESS is UNTRUE TO HER NAMESAKE. It lies UNPRESENTABLE TOWARDS CHOP'S OWN EYES. PRINCESS must ROLL UPON THE LOOSE COALS and REDO HER BATHING SESSION. All others SHALL ENJOY NORMAL TRAINING SESSION. PUNYLOCKS is DISMISSED FROM BODY TRAINING to enjoy MAGIC MIND TRAINING AT THE MAGIC CAVERNS."

2/2 Chop 2014/11/18(Tue)20:35 No. 603623 ID: 602cd8
File 141637170025.png - (124.96KB , 800x800 , 330.png )

The SUN LOWERS ITSELF IN SHAME at the REMAINING TRAINING TIME. Upon the MOON'S DECLINE, CHOP returns the NEXT MORNING AS ALWAYS.

However, only TWO (2) WEAKLINGS-TO-BE-WARRIORS are here, while FOUR (4) WEAKLINGS-TO-BE-FOREVER-WEAKLINGS are ABSENT, giving THE WORST ATTENDANCE OF ALL TIME.

"CHOP DID NOT RECEIVE NEWS OF WHAT MUST HAVE BEEN A GREAT CATASTROPHE. IT IS EXPECTED THAT AT LEAST TWO OF THE ABSENTEES ARE DEAD AND THE OTHER TWO BURYING HIM. SUCH IS THE ONLY REASON CHOP CAN EXPECT SUCH TARDINESS."
>"Uhm... I think I know why." PUNYLOCKS MUTTERS, with such SOMBER POSE AND TONE as to lead CHOP to believe HE IS CORRECT. "Our cavern just got another trainer. I think he came from a place that had some pretty strong warriors, I mean, as far as kobolds go. So... I mean, I and princess both got a message saying that we were welcome to join his dojo instead of yours, and it was promised there wouldn't be any retribution from you. I uh... take it you didn't agree to that."
"CORRECT. WHERE DOES THIS GREAT WARRIOR DARE LAY?"
>"Uh, I'm sorry, but we're actually not supposed to tell you."
"CHOP'S FISTS EACH TAKE ISSUE WITH THIS."
>"I-it was the chieftain! He says he wants to see how a new, different trainer may do."

>>603623
To the chieftain, then. Demand to know why you were not notified of the competition.

Tell these faithful to continue their training in your absence. They should know what gets their muscles aching by now, just keep doing that for the time being.

I expect the chieftain will be expecting Chop.

Good competition keeps people on there toes. That is if this other trainer is at all competent.

You must go on a mission to see if this newcomer should be trusted with recruits in the cavern. If it turns out he sucks you must win back your pupils by proving your methods are superior.

>>603623
This DISRESPECT may only be solved with a duel of FISTS.

...
CHOP WELCOMES THIS CHALLENGER. HE IS EXCITED TO SEE RESULTS! CHOP HOPES THE NEW TRAINER IS WORTHY FOR HE FEARS FOR THE CAVE'S FUTURE!
CHOP ALSO PRAISES REMAINING STUDENTS AND IS FLATTERED AND PROUD!
As a reward for this special occasion, CHOP SHALL WORK YOU EVEN HARDER TODAY! YOU WILL CARRY ALL OF THE PERCENTS OF THE MISSING STUDENTS! WHICH TOTALS TO 3 TIMES ALL OF THE PERCENTS FOR YOU BOTH!
CHOP is JEALOUS of your OPPORTUNITY. What CHOP would GIVE to be TRAINED BY CHOP TODAY.

HOWEVER, CHOP must meet CHIEFTAIN in the MEANTIME. To think CHOP would be SHAMED or JEALOUS of NEW DOJO LEADER is GREAT INSULT. CHOP is not LITTLE SCHOOL GIRL!

Chop should join this new dojo. Pretending to be just a regular new student he can deafeat it from the inside.

>>603643
This is the best idea.

Also, while he's doing this, to prove that Chop's training methods are superior, Princess and Punnylocks are expected to prepare to beat all four of the deserters in a fight.

>>603648
Yes, the undercover name is SLASH

>>603643
>>603648
>>603650
Oh my god. Wait. Chop could ACTUALLY DO THIS if he had a method of shrinking himself. Like a potion or something.

>>603643
>>603650
>>603651
Yes, yes, and yes. They will never learn if you merely crush it. Infiltrate the new dojo and prove their methods are fundamentally flawed!
Seek out a way to transform yourself into what appears to be nothing more than another PUNY STUDENT.

>>603631
I like this one. This is a good suggestion.

>>603643
Chop will need a great disguise so the others students don't recognize him.

>>603651
Hate to say it, but unless he could also get a potion that could mask his CONSTANT SHOUTING and other distinct mannerisms I don't think that will work.

For now, we should go find the chief and get some answers, like why you weren't informed of this.
Give punylocks and princess some exercises to to before you go. I think they've proven enough strength of character by not leaving for the new dojo that you can trust them to not loaf about if left unsupervised for now.

1/4 Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)16:43 No. 603762 ID: 602cd8
File 141644419251.png - (128.56KB , 800x800 , 331.png )

>Go to the Chieftain
CHOP shall only find THE SAME ANSWER that PUNYLOCKS HAS SUPPLIED. Despite OPINION MISMATCHES, CHOP has CONSIDERABLE RESPECT for the Chief, and shall CONVINCE HIM OF HIS ERROR by SHOWING THE INFERIORITY OF THIS NEW DOJO, which CANNOT BE DONE BY ARGUING.

"The FORTUITOUS STUDENTS have the UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY OF TRAINING FOR ALL MISSING KOBOLD'S PERCENTAGES OF EFFORT. CHOP must INSPECT this NEW DOJO, and can only HOPE THAT IT IS A WORTHY ADVERSARY TO CHOP'S TEACHINGS. BUT FIRST. PUNYLOCKS. You shall BRING for me a POTION TO SHRINK CHOP INTO A PUNY STUDENT.
>"We, uh, we don't actually have one of those."
"Then A MAGE capable of SWAPPING MINDS BETWEEN BODIES. BODIES BETWEEN MINDS WILL ALSO BE ACCEPTABLE."
>"We, uh.... we do actually have one of those!"

PUNYLOCKS returns with SUCH A MAGE.

"STASRUBIS."
>"Sir."
"YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF THE DOJO DURING MY MENTAL ABSENCE."
>"Sir."
"LUMEI."
>"Y-, wait, what?"
>"YOU SHALL BE IN CHARGE OF MY BODY, TRAINING YOUR MAGIC UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF THIS MAGE. EAT ONLY THE HEALTHIEST OF FOODS. I EXPECT MY BODY IN TOP FORM UPON MY RETURN."

2/4 Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)16:43 No. 603763 ID: 602cd8
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>"SHEEMUS. YOU SHALL TRAIN WITH STASRUBIS. I SHALL NOW PERFECT THE ART OF INFILTRATION."

3/4 Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)16:43 No. 603764 ID: 602cd8
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Inside of the newly carved dojo

>"I HAVE ARRIVED TO INVESTIGATE THIS NEW - "

>Hate to say it, but unless he could also get a potion that could mask his CONSTANT SHOUTING and other distinct mannerisms I don't think that will work.
LUMEI'S PUNY VOICE is a PERFECT MASK to CHOP'S BOOMING VOLUME.

" - DOJO. SHOW ME THE NEW TEACHER."

Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)16:43 No. 603765 ID: 602cd8
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>"Oh, come in, come in! You must be... Lumei, correct?"
"THAT IS MY CORRECT NAME."
>"Haha, we don't call each other by those... objectifying terms in here. We're all sapient creatures, from the weakest to the strongest, we all deserve the same. It's my understanding that Chop always ran you all ragged, but training to be strong doesn't need to be that way! I haven't yet met him, but I can say that things are going to be much different, here. Here, we don't focus on beating other people's faces in. There's much more to martial arts then that! In here, we learn not just the art of self defense, but also mental discipline, respect, and inner peace."

WHAT

pretend to go along with it. we must find out f they truly believe what they say, or if they are just weak and complacent due to the lack of foes.

>Chop is Lumei
That went even more awesome than I ever expected it too.

>WHAT
They're just words. Pointless, wrong, words. You must investigate the actual training.

I can only hope Lumei has gone mad with power.

>>603765
Why?

>>603765
Martial training? Those are moves that trick blocks of wood into thinking you're stronger than you actually are.
THIS IS BODY-MIND-SOUL mixed training!
INTERESTING.

>>603765
Go along with it for exactly one minute, then train his face with your fists!

>>603781
We're using Punylocks' fists, and she's woefully underequipped. Go along with it for now.

Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)19:33 No. 603819 ID: 602cd8
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>"Oh my god, poor Sheemus is stuck with Chop all alone." says KISSY FACE TWO.
>"Oh, dear. Do you think I should go and fetch her myself, if Chop won't let her leave?"
>"Er, no, no." BEDHUGGER, ATOP HIS THIN HUGGING APPARATUS, INTERJECTS. "Chop's never really, uh forced us to be there.. well, sort of, but he didn't stop us. Uh, yeah. Princess can... leave if she wants to."
>"You are certain?"
>"....yyyyyesss, I'm... I'm definitely certain. Uh... what if... Chop... comes here?"
>"Don't worry! If he shows up, I will explain everything to him, and the Chieftain has assured me that he is not to give any retribution to any of you." continues the LIGHT VOICED INSTRUCTOR. "Then let's begin with our next exercise. Sit, relax, and close your eyes. Make sure you're comfortable. For the next 15 minutes, we will simply sit and keep our minds clear. If a thought comes in, simply let it pass until your mind is clear once again!"
"WHY?"
>"To practice calmness! You sound like a raging rockslide, Lumei, so I feel that you may best benefit from this! Even in the heat of battle, the ability to remain calm is invaluable."

FIFTEEN MINUTES OF REST? LUMEI has discovered why the LAZY ABSENTEES have FLOCKED to the BAIT OF LEISURE.

>"After this, we will practice balance! And no, there will be no hot coals involved, simply a stick suspended one foot off the ground. There's no reason to overdo training. One thing at a time, though! Everyone close your eyes for a quarter hour, now."

This isn't resting, Chop. Pay attention, he said to keep your mind clear. That's actually rather difficult.

I WORRY.
While I would like to see her TECHNIQUES pan out, she MAY BE WEAKENING US on PURPOSE, to leave US VULNERABLE!

DOES SHE OFFER US WISDOM OR TRICKERY?

>>603819
As much as I'm loathe to admit it, Chop, but this guy might have a point. I say we spend the whole day just doing what he says, and if it works, maybe there could be some cooperation between you two! Maybe a schedule for the students of one day of INTENSE WARRIOR BODY TRAINING under you, and another day of CRUSHING THE INADEQUACIES OF THEIR WARRIOR MINDS under this guy, and they alternate?
But, the matter at hand. Let's try to clear our mind. This is actually quite difficult. You may be unable to MASTER YOUR WANDERING PSYCHE even after fifteen minutes. But here's how I do it.
Picture a pure black space in your head. Put something simple in the middle, like a FIST or something. That's you.
Now, try not to think about ANYTHING except that little fist in that dark spot. You will. What you do then is, when the thoughts floating around in the black space get close enough to your FIST, you EXPELL THEM using your MENTAL MIGHT REPRESENTED BY A FIST PUNCHING THE IDEAS OUT OF THE BLACK SPACE.
It's alright if you can't.

yes calm in battle is valuable i agree, but, the point of that calmness is so you remain aware of your surroundings. a raging bull sees only the cape in front of it and misses the knife aimed at it's back. but if you can be angry and aware at the same time, go nuts.

1/5 Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)20:42 No. 603851 ID: 602cd8
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>Keep your mind clear. That's actually rather difficult.
It is merely TRUE FOCUS on NOTHING. To clear one's MIND is to FILL IT WITH NOTHING, just as one would FILL IT WITH A GOAL.

CHOP shall AMUSE THIS LESSON as being the LONE FIST OF MENTAL STABILITY.

>"Annnd we're at 15 minutes! I could tell some of you had more trouble than others, but it's not to worry, there's no true success or failure here. Only practice. Nonetheless, I must commend Dasrin and Lumei for looking as still as stone for the whole duration. Remember, it's impossible to truly clear one's mind, it's all about letting the thoughts that do show up to pass through without interruption."

2/5 Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)20:42 No. 603852 ID: 602cd8
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>"Now, balancing. The goal will simply be to go from one end to the other. Ah... although my own colleague, Chop, appears to have taught certain things very well! It looks like everyone can already do this lesson just fine."

3/5 Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)20:42 No. 603853 ID: 602cd8
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>"The third lesson today will actually be sparring! Now, it's not the sort of sparring you've all grown accustomed to, where it's simplying fighting as though your lives depend on it. No, we are going to learn proper form and technique instead. I will throw a single punch forward, and I want everyone to mimic it, and practice it in perfect form one hundred times. Remember, it's not about power or speed or anything like that, it's about stability and smoothness!"
>"Are we gonna have to punch rocks and stuff?" asks KISSY FACE TWO.
>"Er, what? No, that's insane. You would break your hands! Actually, we do have a volunteer that is willing to be a punching bag - no, not you, Sodalili. It's actually a powerful sparring partner that I hope will show up more often from now on during his stay."

DOES CHOP DARE HOPE FOR A FORMIDABLE BATTLE AHEAD?

4/5 Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)20:43 No. 603854 ID: 602cd8
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LOVEGNOLL. CHOP DOES NOT DARE TO HOPE.

>"Hilt, whom I think many of you have met already."
>"Haha hey guys. Don't worry, I promise I can take any punch easily. No offense. But, you know. Those little nubbins."
>"In any case, let's take a brief break, as I want everyone in top form for one hundred punches!"

5/5 Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)20:43 No. 603855 ID: 602cd8
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We are DISMISSED to the BREAK ROOM that is ONLY ALLEGEDLY DIFFERENT FROM THE DOJO ROOM.

>"Geez, Lumei, you seem... intense, today." says KISSY FACE TWO.
>"Uh, er, yeah!" FEARFUL BEDHUGGER JOINS IN. "She looks like she's just coming over a sickness and all, so, you know, maybe we should let her rest?"
>"You're acting a little strange too, you know!"

you are just filled with vitality after coming over your sickness.

when it comes time, go last to fight lovegnoll, and break his leg. they all seem to think that as kobolds you are incapable of hurting a gnoll with your bare hands.

Ask them what they thought of this new training vs the old training.

>stability and smoothness!
This is ridiculous. Proper form is important, sure, but speed is far more important. Power comes in third, but overwhelming power can make up for sloppy form. Also, there's a hard cap to keeping proper form. There is none for speed and power, save what is physically possible for the trainee.

>>603855
Tell them you hope you're going to get past basic training today. There has to be more to this guy than meditation, balance, and punching drills.

Chop's TRAINING was HIGHLY EFFECTIVE at assisting me in delivering a BRUTAL BEATDOWN on my illness.
I think I GREATLY PREFER CHOP'S TRAINING METHOD. You cannot MEDITATE to rid yourself of THE PUNY PLAGUE WHICH PREVIOUSLY PLAGUED ME.

hey come on now, Lumei's trusting us not to put words in her mouth so let's not.

>>603864
This.

Were in an INFILTRATION MISSION which requires EXTREME SUBTLETY

1/2 Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)21:43 No. 603868 ID: 602cd8
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"The SICKNESS was HARDLY AN OBSTACTLE TOWARDS TRAINING. VITALITY REIGNS SUPREME."
>"Haha, wow." KISSY FACE TWO IDLY RESPONDS.
"What do MY FELLOW STUDENTS think of this MEDITATIVE TRAINING?"
>"It's, I dunno. I mean, it's so much easier than Chop's training, but I dunno if I agree with a lot of it. I mean, before you got here, he was teaching us out to breathe! Something about... letting the inner breath go into the outer breath? It's a really nice break, but I might go back to Chop if this new guy doesn't really go past really basic stuff, and once I can feel my back enough to deal with Chop. I think Dasrin feels the same, but I'm willing to bet Sodalili's gonna want to stick around here. Heheh, you sound a little like Chop, actually, Lumei."
>"Well, yeah, Teegis! I mean... isn't it a little obvi..."

2/2 Chop 2014/11/19(Wed)21:43 No. 603869 ID: 602cd8
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>"What? What are you talking about?"
>"N... nothing." BEDHUGGER FALLS SILENT.

>"Okay, class! Let's line up to practice punches, and then put it to the test by hitting Hilt."

>Go last, break his leg
While this will prove that even THE PUNIEST OF KOBOLD FISTS can deliver MIGHTY BLOWS, this will also DELIVER A MIGHTY BLOW TO CHOP'S COVER EARLY ON. Nonetheless, CHOP FINDS THIS IDEA TEMPTING, and can CALL MEDICAL WIZARDS TO ATTEND TO A CRYING LOVE GNOLL.

>>603869
Can you actually do that though? You're in Lumei's body. She doesn't have CHOP muscles. I do think you should try out some punches and then ramp up the amount of power you put into them. Also, aim at a particularly durable part of Lovegholl. See what this body can do without ruining it or ruining him.

>break his leg
...nah. Don't blow your cover just yet. As a warrior, you cannot let pride cause you to betray your MISSION.

Hit him hard enough to hurt, though.

>>603869
Hit him with a punch hard enough to make him cry!

Keep in mind that you are much lower to the ground than usual! You will need to adjust your fighting style so as to be sure not to just punch straight ahead, as I'm sure you're used to. Instead, you must punch up!
Because punching straight ahead at that height would hit him right in his GONADS, which isn't okay during a training exercise.
Also, no breaking of legs. We need to go the whole day without anybody having a clue we pulled a Freaky Friday on them.

Trust in your students Chop. If you have been training them well they will punch that gnoll so hard he will be walking crooked for weeks before you even get a turn.

>"Well, yeah, Teegis! I mean... isn't it a little obvi..."
BEDHUGGER SEEMS TO HAVE LEARNED TO RECOGNIZE HIS FELLOW WARRIORS FOR WHO THEY TRULY ARE. This is IMPRESSIVE, but perhaps he is LIVING TO HIS NAMESAKE and HAVING VISIONS IN HIS SLEEP.
>Because punching straight ahead at that height would hit him right in his GONADS, which isn't okay during a training exercise.
I thought Lumei was taller than that, and was just sitting down or something.
CHOP should remember that he is posing as PUNYLOCKS right now, who is a WARRIOR WIZARD. While Chop can only cast MAGIC OF THE FISTS, he should keep in mind that PUNY WIZARDS ARE NOT AS STRONG AS WARRIORS, and SHOW THE MIGHTY STRENGTH OF HIS RESTRAINT and FOLLOW ORDERS LIKE A GOOD SOLDIER.

>break his leg
Don't blow your cover by doing anything of Chop Magnitude.
Let your students show off if they please, but try to stay under the radar yourself.
Don't hit him much harder than your students do, and certainly try not to break him.

Just hit him hard enough to give him a dead leg or at least Paresthesia, like when a limb falls asleep so it feel funny like pins and needles.

The problem is Chop is this other instructor seems to teach the soft ways of the fist. Unlike the GLORIOUS hard ways of Chop, this sissy style is for lovebolds and little princesses who don't want to get dirty and rough. In any case, give a good thrust to knock down the lovegnoll among a mighty shout. And then maybe ask the instructor how he would knock down the lovegnoll. (Really I'm seeing Chop as a teacher of hard martial arts and this new one dealing with soft marital arts. The fighting styles and empathizes are different in each case and may fit the builds of some students better. I'm of the mind to send the sissy weak ones who can't handle Chop's MIGHTY KOBOLDNESS to be conditioned here. But find a way to maintain standards. )

>>604001
We hardly have any idea of how this instructor teaches until they've had time to find the strengths and weaknesses of their students and to get things kicked into gear. They're starting with the basics to have a "net" of sorts to catch any stragglers with. Although from the looks of it, it won't accelerate for a little while. Take the comment from Kissy Face Two, "and once I can feel my back enough to deal with Chop", also, you explore their limits by pushing their limits, as the very nature of improvement demands, and things like proper breathing and mental calmness follow. Things would definitely look soft at the beginning when you flipped it around.

The ultimate point where things top out depends on the instructor, and since it takes a while for this method to kick into gear it is going to take a while to see how far it goes with this one.

Be patient, if this instructor is of any serious merit they will identify you as one at a higher level during this process and seek to push you harder as necessary. We need to look over more than the cover of the book, and we haven't even finished reading the first word of the title yet.

1/3 Chop 2014/11/22(Sat)14:20 No. 604396 ID: 602cd8
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>Chop should keep in mind that PUNY WIZARDS ARE NOT AS STRONG AS WARRIORS
CHOP finds LUMEI'S BODY TO BE ADEQUATE FOR POWERFUL PUNCHES, yet does not have the MENTAL FORTITUDE TO BRING IT TO ITS OWN LIMIT.

NONETHELESS, Chop shall employ MAXIMUM RESTRAINT to maintain THE DISCRETION OF A KOBOLD IN A DWARVEN DEN.

ALL WEAKLINGS practice ONE HUNDRED TINY PUNCHES, then employ AFOREMENTIONED TINY PUNCHES on LOVEGNOLL, reminiscent of A DRIZZLE ATOP A BOULDER. ALL ATTACKS are aimed at LOVEGNOLL'S FUNNY SPOTS, as LOVEGNOLL iys given a case of THE GIGGLYFITS. PERFORMANCE TO BE EXPECTED from THOSE WHO SEEK TRAINING FOR THE NEWLYBORN.

2/3 Chop 2014/11/22(Sat)14:20 No. 604397 ID: 602cd8
File 141669481163.png - (187.08KB , 800x800 , 344.png )

LUMEI APPLIES GREAT WARRIOR WIZARD PUNCH OF RESTRAINT into GNOLLISH LEG MUSCLE.

>"OH. Ow. Dang, Lumei, you're really into it. That actually kinda hurt!"

LOVEGNOLL creates a BLATANT ATTEMPT at HIDING HIS SHAMEFULLY FRAGILE GNOLL HIDE. Perhaps LUMEI UNDERESTIMATED THE LOVEGNOLL, however, as LUMEI AIMED to turn LOVEGNOLL into KNEELGNOLL.

LUMEI will investigate this KITTEN CLASS with GREAT PATIENCE, but when LUMEI has made the CLASS VERDICT, LOVEGNOLL will be CRYGNOLL to FOREVER EXTINGUISH BODY-RELATED EXCUSES FROM FELLOW PUPILS.

3/3 Chop 2014/11/22(Sat)14:21 No. 604399 ID: 602cd8
File 141669489777.png - (151.88KB , 800x800 , 345.png )

CHOP, inhabited by the MIND OF LUMEI, or possibly LUMEI, possessing the BODY OF CHOP, stands in the DOJO OF COAL.

Or, at least, that's how I think Chop would phrase it as.

I'm not actually sure what to do, now. If anything. I mean, Chop did say to train my magic, but...

>"How do you feel, Lumei?" Sheemus asks.
"Like... like an unstoppable wall of rock. With a little bit of fluff at the top."
>"You even have his expression!"
"I... can't really change it. It's... actually locked in an ANGRY FACE."
>"Can you... not yell?"
>"I can not!... but it ACTUALLY TAKES LESS EFFORT TO YELL SOMEHOW I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I THINK THIS IS HIS NORMAL VOICE."

>>604399
Are you saying Chop has no magical capacity? C'mon, give it some effort.

>>604399
So... Chop's normal voice is so loud he has to work hard to restrain it? That makes a distressing amount of sense.

Don't yell. Actually trying to yell will probably shatter skulls or rock.

Actually, be very careful moving around. You'll probably break furniture, or the rock, with very little effort. Maybe basic tests of your control are in order?

Hey, you know, this is the first time to have some fun with Chop.
See if his body has some grace. Start breakdancing or perform ballet or something.

try crushing a rock.

>>604402
Indeed, first thing to do is test the body. Walk around a bit. Grab an expendable rock. Have it thrown at you to grab it in midair. Try some magic on it. Etc.

>>604399
You are Chop, you possess all the powers of Chop. There is only one thing to do, go mad with power.

This is the body of someone who follows Chop's training regiment perfectly every single day without fail.
This is what you would feel like if you did the same. Don't you feel inspired to train harder?

That said, test out Chop's body! Smash some boulders or something. This is your chance to let loose and have some fun with no repercussions!

1/2 Lumei 2014/11/23(Sun)10:47 No. 604628 ID: 602cd8
File 141676846729.png - (82.04KB , 800x800 , 346.png )

I can still use magic, it's just a mental thing.

But, I'm probably never going to get to use a body like this again! That's like being served the best, biggest meal in the world, and being told to go sit in the corner and eat that cornmeal that you like but have every day.

I grab a rock to squeeze on it. I think I have decent control on it, because I can squeeze it without breaking it. I'll squeeze on it as hard as I can now.

2/2 Lumei 2014/11/23(Sun)10:47 No. 604629 ID: 602cd8
File 141676847214.png - (139.25KB , 800x800 , 347.png )

oh

Is this really how strong I would get if I trained under Chop? He might just be special, I don't know.

>Go mad with power
I might go mad with power. But what would I even do?

this also means he totally went super easy on you when he knocked you guys out when you fist got here. he could of probably hit you so hard you you wouldn't have any bones left.

>I might go mad with power. But what would I even do?
Make a brand new cave by punching something? Or, um. What do you know of, nearby, that you really wish wasn't?

Whatever you do, just make sure you don't accidentally kill the body-swap mage.

Oh! Test if Chop feels pain. Is he so tough he doesn't actually know that coals hurt? Maybe hot coals are just a nice relaxing massage to him.

Was there anything you wanted to smash? Because you could smash it now.

Just for fun you should get the biggest rock you can find and lift it. Or go to the dining hall and announce you wish to lift every kobold there at once.

Remember; you may have Chop's body, but you do not have his discipline and training to use it to it's fullest extent. Or safely.

So whatever you do, be responsible. I wouldn't want to find out what Chop would do should you tarnish his rep through misuse of his body, if I were in your shoes.

Lumei 2014/11/23(Sun)11:42 No. 604673 ID: 602cd8
File 141677174092.png - (167.98KB , 800x800 , 348.png )

>Or go to the dining hall and announce you wish to lift every kobold there at once.
Actually, everyone in the main dojo branch is doing their daily regiments, and it would be kind of mean to interrupt them from it.

>Test if Chop feels pain. Is he so tough he doesn't actually know that coals hurt? Maybe hot coals are just a nice relaxing massage to him.
Ah. Y-yeah, it does actually hurt! Sort of. Less. Like, he has a really tough hide, but, uh, it's not a nice relaxing massage.

Actually, maybe it is. Maybe for him it really is, even though for me it still kinda hurts!

Oh, I didn't even notice I was folding my arms. That's kind of funny muscle memory. It's really comfy, actually, no wonder he does it all the time.

2/3 Lumei 2014/11/23(Sun)11:42 No. 604674 ID: 602cd8
File 141677176156.png - (182.44KB , 800x800 , 349.png )

>Make a new cavern
Yeah. Yeah I can do that!

"Sheemus, Stasrubis, I'm going out for a little bit! I want to expand my room."

>"Be careful." says Stasrubis.

I've had a lot of loose rocks I haven't had the time or energy to deal with, and there's enough room in the back to expand a little bit. I'm hoping to some day decorate so that I can actually invite people in. I don't think Chop will mind me exercising in his body, either, if I still practice my magic at the same time.

I start punching the rocks, and... it's a lot more effective than it should be! They crack, and I'm able to sort them out in a pile. I can probably get a net to get them out of my room, too.

>"CHOP. CHOP!" a girl in the hall starts yelling. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

3/3 Lumei 2014/11/23(Sun)11:42 No. 604676 ID: 602cd8
File 141677177865.png - (165.67KB , 800x800 , 350.png )

Oh, it's... that one girl that Chop calls the rock eater.

>"Do you want a cave-in, you lumbering ogre?!"

She's the only one who ever talks to Chop like this and doesn't get a mouth full of coal.

>>604676
Ask her to show you how to do this properly.

That was the opposite of being responsible.

Refer to rock eater's expertise in mining to expand You- Lum- PUNYLOCK's room.

If questioned as to why the room is being expanded, say it is in return for a favor.

>What the fuck are you doing?
Time to play dumb.

CHOP is PUNCHING ROCKS.

Then let her complain at you. She'll probably then shoo you away so she can shore up the room and make it not collapse, which is probably good if you're going to be sleeping here.

tell her the true, she'll think it's hilarious

If CHOP CAUSES A CAVEIN, then L--PUNYLOCKS WILL HAVE EXERCISE IN CLEARING HER ROOM. If ROCKEATER DOESN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN, then she will BUILD SUPPORT BEAMS WITH HER BARE HANDS.
As for WHAT CHOP IS DOING IN PUNYLOCK'S ROOM, he has NOTICED THAT SHE HAS NOT HAD THE PROPER SETTING FOR MENTAL TRAINING. Chop will EXPAND THE ROOM SO THAT SHE CAN BUILD HER OWN MEDITATION ZONE. WITH HER BARE HANDS. Because THAT IS WHAT CHOP EXPECTS OF HIS STUDENTS.

Profess Chop's undying love for her

Lumei 2014/11/23(Sun)12:29 No. 604699 ID: 602cd8
File 141677457453.png - (108.25KB , 800x800 , 351.png )

>That was the opposite of being responsible.
I didn't know it could cause a cave in! I thought I was just doing a little task.

>Profess Chop's undying love for her
That is definitely the opposite of responsible! I've got to try to fix this.

uh...

"CHOP is PUNCHING ROCKS."
>"And you may as well be punching US."
"CHOP is EXPANDING M-LUMEI'S - " wait, Punyl-wait no Chop called me Lumei last - "ROOM. LUMEI requires a GRAND CATHEDRAL OF MEDITATION, as well as CHOP DOING SO IN RETURN FOR A FAVOR."
>"What part of 'you are going to kill the whole fucking west block' are you dumb about?"

Oh. Oh, wait, that big of a cave in? Geez. Okay. Okay.

"If the ROCK EATER does not wish for SUCH A CAVE IN, then perhaps ASSISTING CHOP IN PROPER MINING PROCEDURE IS AT HAND?"
>"You owe a favor to one of your students? That is soft for you, you big buffoon.... yeah, you know what, fine? I'll mine this out. I'll even polish the whole damn place. Except if you're doing this as a favor, and then instead I do it, then that means you owe me a favor."

>Tell her the truth
... maybe I should?

>... maybe I should?
Confess. No matter how bad this is, it'll only be worse when Chop finds out he owes her a favor because of you. Just imagine the punishment.

Um. I'm not actually Chop. I'm Lumei. Chop just wanted to borrow my body to investigate this new dojo, and I guess I got a little carried away. Sorry.

Any favor I give you has to happen in the next hour if we make that deal. Cause of reasons.

>>604700
yeah, I don't even want to imagine your punishment if...ONCE! he find out

1/6 Lumei 2014/11/23(Sun)13:41 No. 604726 ID: 602cd8
File 141677891745.png - (98.62KB , 800x800 , 352.png )

"Okay. Shabin, was it?"

She stares at me.

"I'm not actually Chop. You know that new instructor that came here?"
>"No."
".... well, there is, and CHOP wished to INVESTIGATE what the new class was about. So, we BODY SWAPPED, and my body is currently in the new class."
>"... hm. Alright. Yeah. So... you know what Chop's gonna do to you if he finds out you're using his body for personal gain?"
".... would it be too much to ask you to keep this on the down low? It was a bad idea, but I got excited being able to crush rocks with my BARE HANDS and stuff."
>"Girl, I'm not gonna blackmail you or some shitty thing like that. I think you've got nerve. And you got me some good news. You're not bad, Punylocks. You're not bad. I'll help you out with your new room later. Just quit fucking around, this cave is fragile."
"Ah... thanks, Shabin." Okay.... I'm just going to go back to the Dojo, and maybe ask Stasrubis about what Chop does for exercise. I don't wanna mess everything up.

2/6 Chop 2014/11/23(Sun)13:42 No. 604727 ID: 602cd8
File 141677893047.png - (138.46KB , 800x800 , 353.png )

After PUNCHING THE LOVE MARGINALLY OUTSIDE OF THE LOVEGNOLL, CHOP WITHIN LUMEI has been TASKED, with other FELLOW STUDENTS, with the TASK OF DODGEBALL.

EXCEPT INSTEAD OF ROCKS AND COAL IT IS WEAK FLUFF.

3/6 Chop 2014/11/23(Sun)13:42 No. 604728 ID: 602cd8
File 141677894062.png - (154.89KB , 800x800 , 354.png )

>"Er, Lumei, are you trying hard at all?" asks the INSTRUCTOR THAT LUMEI SHALL WITHHOLD DUBBING WEAKLING NAMES FOR NOW.
"I feel INADEQUATE NEED for DODGING SUCH HARMLESS OBJECTS OF FLIGHT.
>"I know we're not using actual rocks, but think of them like they are. That way, even if you still get hit a bunch, you can keep training, unlike if they were actual rocks, in which you'd have to stop to heal, or worse!"
".... THEN I SHALL AMUSE THIS TRAINING OF TRAINING.
>"Ah, continue please, everyone, but it sounds like we have a new visitor."

4/6 Chop 2014/11/23(Sun)13:42 No. 604729 ID: 602cd8
File 141677896079.png - (188.85KB , 800x800 , 355.png )

ROCK EATER. LUMEI can only SPECULATE the LEVEL OF INCONVENIENCE ROCK EATER BRINGS.

5/6 Chop 2014/11/23(Sun)13:44 No. 604730 ID: 602cd8
File 141677906524.png - (119.95KB , 800x800 , 356.png )

>"Hi! Are you here for the class?"
>"No. I'm here for... you know how citizens can pull students off for missions if it's necessary, right? Well, I got an important one."
>"Ah! Well, we do have 5 students here. More experienced, official fighters are with Chop if you need that, but I'm sure if a student suits your needs, then one of mine will surely volunteer."
>"No, no." says ROCK EATER.

6/6 Chop 2014/11/23(Sun)13:44 No. 604731 ID: 602cd8
File 141677908158.png - (119.83KB , 800x800 , 357.png )

>"It has to be her. Lumei."

THE LEVEL OF INCONVENIENCE IS GREAT.

>>604731
Tell her you're busy, can't it wait until after training?

...what TASK is so IMPORTANT as to merit INTERRUPTING TRAINING but so UNIMPORTANT to be ENTRUSTED to a PUNY STUDENT, such as as MYSELF.

>>604731
See what the PUNY ROCK EATER has for you, perhaps it is a quest of GREAT IMPORTANCE.

Chop 2014/11/23(Sun)14:33 No. 604743 ID: 602cd8
File 141678201488.png - (167.34KB , 800x800 , 358.png )

"As SHABIN can see, I am RATHER PRE-OCCUPIED WITH TRAINING. What TASK is so IMPORTANT as to INTERRUPT TRAINING but so UNIMPORTANT to be ENTRUSTED to a PUNY STUDENT, such as as MYSELF?"
>"The kind that involves both physical labor and water magic. Doesn't need a lot of water magic. Just gotta clean some grime off the walls. You can do that, right? Water magic?"
"This TASK sounds UNNECESSARY. While CLEAN WALLS are an IMPORTANT PART OF ANY RESPECTABLE CAVE, it is NON-IMPERITIVE. LUMEI recommends GETTING A VOLUNTEER."
>"It's a long way away from any water source. It's going to take 10 times the work involved to haul water and buckets all that distance manually than it would to have a single water mage on staff, and all the water mages are busy teaching whole classes. You telling me your physical training here is so important you're gonna make everyone else work ten times as much?"

Point out that, unfortunately, you have recently been neglecting your water magic training, and would not be able generate enough water.

This is true. The other students should even back you up.

>>604743
Tell her you will do it as part of your magic training routine. Ask how long it should take, and ask the new trainer if there's going to be a gap in the training you can do it in.

>>604743
tell her your HORRIBLE cold has hurt your ability to create MAGIC OF WATER and it must be trained LATER.

Chop 2014/12/26(Fri)21:52 No. 615780 ID: 602cd8
File 141965956446.png - (138.53KB , 800x800 , 359.png )

"I have been NEGLECTING my WATER MAGIC TRAINING. Although I am FULLY WILLING to ACCEPT YOUR TASK as PRACTICE, I must warn that my WATER CREATION LEVELS ARE UNIMPRESSIVE. INSTRUCTOR. Is there a FUTURE GAP IN THE TRAINING of which I may DEPART FOR THIS TASK."
>"Oh, yes. Shabin, we're going to take a break in a couple of hours! If you can wait that long, I think it would be best."
>"... ugh. Okay. Fine. As long as you show up today, I'm fine with that." CONCEDES THE ROCK EATER.

>>615780
Victoryyyy! Give Rock Eater a winning smile and thank her for her understanding.

Well. Looks like we've bought ourselves several more hours of CUNNING ESPIONAGE of INEFFECTIVE WEAKLING TRAINING.

>>615780
Make sure ROCK EATER leaves, try to escape before time runs out so you can make the swap again with Lumei.

Chop 2015/01/05(Mon)21:38 No. 618427 ID: 602cd8
File 142052269754.png - (171.36KB , 800x800 , 360.png )

Rock Eater VACATES THE PREMISES to avoid AWKWARD STAND AROUNDS.

TINY TRAINING TIME RESUMES, but knowing this INSTRUCTOR OF RESTING, a GENEROUS BREAK will soon be handed out. Either LUMEI can continue INTENSE OBSERVATION or RETURN TRUE-LUMEI MIND to TRUE-LUMEI BODY.

>RETURN TRUE-LUMEI MIND to TRUE-LUMEI BODY
You mean QUIT?! CHOP will not FAIL a MISSION merely to avoid the INTERFERENCE of a TROUBLEMAKING ROCK EATER.

CHOP will overcomes these PUNY OBSTACLES with MAXIMUM DETERMINATION.

>>618432
I agree! Continue with the observation!

>>618432
Yes. And while Chop has NOT HAD A CHANCE TO PRACTICE STRENGTH OF A WIZARDLY NATURE, he is NOT ONE TO BACK DOWN.

I suppose if you stick with it you'll be able to try out that magic thing Lumei's got going for her.

1/2 Chop 2015/06/22(Mon)18:32 No. 650199 ID: dd338c
File 143502312048.png - (110.62KB , 800x800 , 361.png )

LUMEI'S BACKDOWN COUNTER shall remain at ZERO POINT ZERO for this MISSION OF INTENSE EYEBALLING.

>"Okay, class! For the next two hours, we will practice our relaxation muscles!"

2/2 Chop 2015/06/22(Mon)18:35 No. 650202 ID: dd338c
File 143502332999.png - (111.42KB , 800x800 , 362.png )

>"Just as muscles can be used to move yourself and others, it can also be used as a calm lake."

CHOP'S INNER MIND is MADE FOR BATTLE AND ACTION, and is AT A GREAT CLIFF'S EDGE for PERFORMING MORE NOTHING.

>>650202
Alright screw this. Object, and say that you've already done meditation in this training session. Ask if sitting around doing nothing is really going to make you a better fighter.

...ask him to prove his martial prowess. How do you know he knows what he's talking about?

Ask him to demonstrate the combat applications of this training.

Can you PAST nothing? Push through to the OTHER SIDE? CHOP is MIGHTY but no FOOL, and understands the mystery that is NEGATIVE NUMBERS. He shall not shoot for ZERO.

Do not stop at a CALM LAKE. Your MUSCLES will RELAX so GREATLY they will become a RAGING FLOOD. You will OVERWHELM ALL around you with your MIGHTY RELAXATIONS.

Management is not responsible if perfect mental clarity and relaxation with a focus on mighty floods results in unintentionally unleashing a mighty flood of water magic.

Relaxation muscles?
She must be on to you! You have ALL the muscles and you are sure you have no such muscle, yeah?
Relaxation is the opposite of using muscle after all!
She's trying to catch you in the midst of your cunning spy mission and then report you!

Ok so knowing how to relax is important for fighting, because you want your muscles to be loose so that they move fast until just exactly the moment that a strike lands. Like, if this was training where you were being told to keep yourself loose and calm while being subjected to things that would make you tense up, that's be worth something.

But there are no such things as relaxation muscles, so this sounds like quackery. It might be a metaphor, in which case you can ask the instructor where your relaxation muscles are. No reason for you not to ask stupid-sounding questions while in this body! I mean, it might make Lumei look dumb, but you can repay her later.

1/2 Chop 2015/06/27(Sat)20:57 No. 651334 ID: dd338c
File 143546384461.png - (104.31KB , 800x800 , 363.png )

>Can you PAST nothing?
CHOP DOES NOT STOOP TO NEGATIVE PERCENTILES. ALL of CHOP'S MUSCLES, which have EXTENDED to LUMEI'S PUNY BUT MARGINALLY TRAINED MUSCLES, are THOUSANDS OF PERCENT POSITIVE.

"LUMEI requests a DISPLAY OF WHERE THESE RELAXATION MUSCLES LIE.
>"Exactly the same place as your regular muscles! The only difference is that it's important to have them do nothing as much as doing something. In other words, to exercise perfect control of them is the goal of this exercise."
"LUMEI admits to this being ALMOST REASONABLE, if WORDED LIKE A DRUNKEN NOBLE. LUMEI would not like another DISPLAY, this time of the MARTIAL APPLICATIONS OF SUCH TRAINING."
>"Are you challenging me to a fight, Lumei?"
"CORRECT."

2/2 Chop 2015/06/27(Sat)20:58 No. 651335 ID: dd338c
File 143546390854.png - (123.93KB , 800x800 , 364.png )

HE FLOATS to the BODY OF WATER IN WHICH I CONTROL, and SENDS A PUNCH.

>"Er-"
"LUMEI casts ANALYZE PUNCH LEVEL 5.

-This punch is WELL PRACTICED and DELIBERATE, and has been practiced THOUSANDS OF TIME.
-It has been praciced THOUSANDS OF TIMES in the COMFORT THAT A STABLE HOME BRINGS.
-This TUTOR has been in a fight FEWER THAN TEN TIMES.
-His STANCE is NEARLY PERFECT, but the BRIEFEST OF FOUL WINDS shall DESTROY ITS PERFECTION, as the GRAND GLASS SCULPTURE would SHATTER under a CRUDE HAMMER.
-He knows MANY FACTS of fighting, but UNDERSTANDS NONE. Just as the wizards believe they fully understand the rocks by merely GAZING UPON THIS VISUAL IMAGES OF ROCK AND WRITTEN WORDS ABOUT ROCK, they cannot match the FULL UNDERSTANDING the ROCK MINERS have gained from SEEING, FEELING, SMELLING, HEARING, AND PERHAPS TASTING ROCK.

>"Wow, I haven't had a punch blocked like that since Chop visited my town!"

Upon CHOP'S FAILED RECOLLECTION of this individual's identity, CHOP senses the OOZING PRESENCE of MILD CURIOSITY.

apply your own punch. just remember lumei does not have perfect punching fists.

Hmm this little guy has promise but he needs more training. You need to train him Chop.

Ask him when and where he met Chop.

Kinda sounds like this guy would be good as an assistant, maybe? I mean, Chop's training seems to focus on becoming strong, fast and tough, without so much good technique. Though maybe it's just what we've seen so far, that the recruits we've seen are still at an early stage where they're just being toughened up, and technique would come later.

Still, if he were a true warrior, he would have sensed Chop's might spirit within, just by the meeting of fists. Perhaps we could bait out more of his story by reminding him Lumei has trained with Chop, so that might account for the blocking, and that she would like to know more. Ask him, you thought he said he hadn't met Chop yet?

Also, Chop, you should say that now you have just realized that, since you came in late, you didn't catch his name.

I think your RESPONSE should be OBVIOUS.

Provide that BRIEFEST OF FOUL WINDS. Show him the UNDERSTANDING he lacks.

Make him understand a punch as the miner understands rock. Make him TASTE FIST.

This instructor does not seem to be much in the way of a fighter. Like at all. He should not be training future warriors because they will not be prepared.
That said, he might have some insight into training techniques that you have not thought of, as long as we do not start handing out breaks like they were oxygen!

Thinking about it, Perhaps his training would be better suited to people not going out on the battlefield? It might not prepare people for war but it could certainly improve general health around here, if the kobolds have free time to indulge in such things.

1/2 Chop 2015/06/28(Sun)00:31 No. 651401 ID: dd338c
File 143547668576.png - (102.19KB , 800x800 , 365.png )

CHOP shall ENTERTAIN MARGINAL THOUGHT on the POSSIBILITY OF QUESTIONABLE TRAINING FOR QUESTIONABLE SOLDIERS in these caves, but for now, Chop must PUNCH AWAY DELUSIONS OF COMPETENCY.

While LUMEI has in possession of ZERO PERFECT PUNCHING FISTS, GREAT SKILL AND DEDICATION can turn the BABIEST OF KITTENS into THE DESTROYER OF COLOSSUS.

2/2 Chop 2015/06/28(Sun)00:31 No. 651402 ID: dd338c
File 143547670073.png - (143.18KB , 800x800 , 366.png )

WHAT?

THE KISSY FACES DARE ASSAULT THEIR BELOVED COMRADE?

While their efforts are LIKE MORTAL ENEMIES ON THE BATTLEFIELD AWKWARDLY APOLOGIZING FOR THEIR ACTIONS, LUMEI contains SURPRISE for their interference and defending this INSTRUCTOR OF RELAXATION.

>"Whoa, whoa, sorry, instructor, we're gonna talk to Lumei for a minute! Sorry, she's not normally like this!" blathers KISSY FACE ONE.

LUMEI may wish to HEAR THEM OUT, but LUMEI may wish to PRACTICE HER GREAT ARTISTIC PROWESS by TRANSFORMING THE IMAGE OF STANDING KOBOLDS INTO HUDDLING KOBOLDS.

backflip over them to break hold an slam their heads together to knock them out.

I suppose HEARING THEM OUT could qualify as some kind of TEST of your students.

Do they have a WORTHY CONCERN? Some GREATER PLAN? Perhaps you should give the the chance to prove if they are TRULY PATHETIC and in need of REMEDIAL TRAINING, or if they are ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS THAN TRULY PATHETIC and capable of GRADUAL IMPROVEMENT.

Hear them out. You only beat on your student when its to teach them something.

Besides you need to work at convincing them that this training is not in there best interest. Sure its easier and they get to be lazy but are they really being properly prepared to defend themselves and there families?

You need to remind them why your/Chop's training is so hard. Its not because Chop is mean but because the world is a hard place and you need to be strong enough to stand up to it on your own.

>>651402
Go on, talk to them. You probably shouldn't seriously harm the wussy instructor anyway. That would invalidate the challenge.

Chop 2015/06/28(Sun)01:36 No. 651426 ID: dd338c
File 143548060118.png - (109.98KB , 800x800 , 367.png )

LUMEI allows KISSY FACES to drag off LUMEI'S BODY to a separate room.

>"Geez, what is wrong with you, Lumei?!" asks KISSY FACE TWO. "I know you respect Chop and all that, but let us get a break! Some of us can barely handle chop, so this is like our break!"
>"Yeah, uh, I'm betting that any of us could actually beat up this instructor." KISSY FACE ONE STATES. "But then he might not feel that he has any place instructing us. We just want to take it easy for a bit. We were planning on, I dunno, going to Chop's place once or twice, then here once or twice, just, well, do something we feel like we can survive through. So, please don't give the instructor a hard time - he looks up to Chop, too."
>"Yeah!" KISSY FACE TWO RESUMES. "Apparently Chop visited his village once when kid, and he got inspired learn martial arts. It was actually a really peaceful hidden village, so he isn't like any battle hardened vet."

>a break
>We were planning on, I dunno, going to Chop's place once or twice, then here once or twice, just, well, do something we feel like we can survive through
Hmm. Does CHOP even understand BREAKS? Is there is place for alternating between the FIRE OF TRAINING and this WEAK SISSY WATER? FORGE and QUENCH?

>Apparently Chop visited his village once when kid, and he got inspired learn martial arts. It was actually a really peaceful hidden village, so he isn't like any battle hardened vet
CHOP will have to see to it the this instructor finds PROPER BATTLE to CORRECT this FAULT.

What say you, Chop? Have your students UNEARTHED a GEM OF WISDOM or do they speak NOTHING BUT FOOLISHNESS?

>>651420
Well that's cute. He really is teaching rubbish though. Ask the teacher for his story, in full. After being inspired by Chop, who did he talk to and learn about this weird style of training?

a break is when you are incapable of moving, anything less is being lazy. we must find the story of who showed this instructor the style of wimps.

>>651426
This combat form belongs in an arena, not a battlefield. For defenders of the den, it is toxic.

>"Yeah, uh, I'm betting that any of us could actually beat up this instructor." KISSY FACE ONE STATES. "But then he might not feel that he has any place instructing us. We just want to take it easy for a bit.

That's dishonest! This instructor aspires to be a great warrior, and for all those with such aspirations, one of the first rules is to know your own strengths and weaknesses, so you know what you need to do to improve! You're allowing this guy to believe he's a better fighter than he is. Wanting to take a break is one thing, but taking advantage of someone to do it is another level of terrible! How do you think he'll feel when he finds out what you really think of him? He will eventually!

There's no reason this guy can't keep teaching. Think of it this way, as things were before this guy came, anyone who wanted to learn to fight at all had to come to Chop. But Chop trains people to be full-on professional warriors, and that's not suitable for, say, some mage who wants to spend a week learning proper not-getting-stabbed-before-running-away technique. This guy's training won't make TRUE WARRIORS, but it's still better than no training at all, and would be much more manageable for people who don't want to fully dedicate themselves to being fighters. So perhaps Chop could still be the master class, and this guy could do an introductory level?

He should be shown the difference between a true warrior and his knowledge.
Someone who could say, match his skill but has actual physical power I think would be the best way.
Don't just crush him, but apply enough power to demonstrate his problem.
catch his punches, and deliver your own with enough force he can't easily block it.
Demonstrate that his way is a weak BREEZE blowing around a MIGHTY MOUNTAIN.

>>651426
"If this man teaches these kobolds, it means havING TINY, SOFT SOLDIERS. AND DEAD ONES. Do you NOT remember the warnings of the KOBOLD WITH ONE EYE? LUMEI ENJOYS HAVING One HUNDRED PERCENT more vision than a CYCLOPS! Would you like to have HALF of your PERCENTAGES OF SENSES? HOW ABOUT A QUARTER of the COMMON PERCENTAGE? Or have THOUSANDS of PERCENTS put into the ACT of being a MOTIONLESS CORPSE."

>>651442
that's a good idea. he can be for those that cannot dedicate themselves fully to the ways of strong. but chop's warriors need to be at full power at all times.

Chop 2015/06/28(Sun)23:28 No. 651584 ID: dd338c
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"You are both FOOLISH. Perhaps CHOP shall entertain the notion that this instructor can teach UNDEDICATED NOT-SOLDIERS into perhaps NOT GETTING STABBED UPON FLEEING FOR THEIR LIVES, but all of us are DEDICATED TRUE-SOLDIERS IN TRAINING. CHOP shall accept NO HALFSIES ON THIS MATTER, and DEDICATED SOLDIERS OF ONE HUNDRED PERCENT BATTLE are required to PROTECT THESE CAVERNS FROM DANGER."
>"Argh... you're probably right, Lumei. I think you know Chop best, at least, out of any of us. I guess we will just have to make a decision for ourselves which way to go."

Chop could DISPLAY THE INSTRUCTOR'S INCOMPETENCE within LUMEI to SHOW HE CAN BE BESTED with COMPARABLE PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES, but DEBRIEFING may REVEAL LUMEI'S TRUE IDENTITY AS LUMEICHOP. Therefore, CHOP may think it best to have ONE STUDENT lay a CHALLENGE OF FORMAL BATTLE to this INSTRUCTOR. Only upon the instructor's REALIZATION OF HIS TRUE LEVEL shall Chop consider OPENING THE GATES OF NEW IDEAS that boast of KIND-OF-NOT-REALLY SOLDIERS.

>>651584
Well, it would be completely unfair for you to use Lumei's body to beat him up. So yeah, just send one of the weaker members against him. Both as a demonstration that he's not hot shit, and to illustrate that THEY are getting stronger. They probably don't even realize what your training is accomplishing. If they see how strong they have become, that may raise their morale, allow them to train with a better state of mind.

Don't reveal yourself. You've presented the dilemma to your students- this is now a test of their convictions. Are they STRONG enough in WILL and MIND to make the right decision?

Sending one of the new recruits to challenge him would be good for them.
Or on the off chance that this guy's approach has some kind of practical benefit, that would show it. I mean lets be honest here, Chop. You could beat any of your OWN students too. You beating this guy doesn't demonstrate anything about where he stands.

should we get Stasrubis to fight him? he is our most senior pupil, the fact he has one eye and arm should show that even with such handicaps a chop pupil can still beat the other trainer.

>>651644
except chop isn't in his body right now. he is lumei, and she is only as strong as chop has trained her so far.

>>651867
That's not quite right. Chop's discipline allows him to use far more of Lumei's muscle strength. Also Lumei is just generally stronger than the average kobold because she's bigger.

Putting the instructor in their place might not be a bad idea, just encourage them to do such a thing and hopefully it will happen.

The instructor clearly has a lot to learn, and getting them to steal your students was not a cool move after all and something needs to be done about that.

But having someone to instruct the basics might not be a bad idea, as long as they start teaching real lessons and not cuddle time baby lessons.

Don't directly challenge the instructor, Chop. It's got to be one of your students.
That said, he's genuinely trying to walk in your footsteps, however feeble his training may seem.
It's less important that he be humiliated and more important that he understand the necessity of struggle in growing stronger.

Chop 2015/07/04(Sat)12:34 No. 653026 ID: dd338c
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THE CHOP THAT LIES WITHIN LUMEI shall SEND A RECRUIT to show this instructor THE ERROR OF SUCH INEXPERIENCED WAYS. Should this LECTURER ACCEPT THIS LECTURE, Chop shall continue to ENTERTAIN THE PROSPECTS of WEAK SOLDIER CREATION that some might call BASIC TRAINING.

HOWEVER, there are MANY RECRUITS. THREE come to mind.

A: STASRUBIS. This shall be a ONE SIDED FIGHT that SHALL EMBARRASS the instructor and ALL WHO HAVE THE MISFORTUNE TO WATCH SUCH A DISPLAY. HOWEVER, Stasrubis is NO PUPIL and is, instead, A RESPECTED WARRIOR.
B: LUMEI-WHO-WAS-ONCE-PUNYLOCKS. This shall also be CHOP'S DECISION TO DISENGAGE FROM SUBTERFUGE and RETURN THE BODIES THEIR MINDS. LUMEI shall PROVE TO THE INSTRUCTOR that a CHOP PUPIL can SUPPLY HIM WITH ADEQUATE DEFEAT even as they fight off UNKNOWN BODY AFFLICTIONS that CHOP has been informed to be "THE COMMON COLD."
C: PUNCHING BAG. He is THE WEAKEST OF PUPILS, and shall show the instructor that EVEN CHOP'S WEAKEST MAY BEAT HIM. HOWEVER. If there is ONE CHOP PUPIL CAPABLE OF LOSING TO THIS INSTRUCTOR, IT IS THIS ONE.
D: SHEEMUS-WHO-WAS-ONCE-PRINCESS. A choice NOT UNLIKE LUMEI, but with PERFECT BODY HEALTH WITH ZERO COMPLICATIONS. The PRIMARY CHOICE of PLAIN DECISION MAKING.

>>653026
Idea: After the fight, the teacher can train under you when he's not training his students.

A is right out. It's pointless.
If you chose B, you would be yelled at even more by the doctor, and you wouldn't be able to witness the fight.
C risks not achieving the desired effect of showing the teacher how much he has to learn. Or maybe it still will, considering the weakest student would still put up a fight. Plus if he wins, he gains honor.
D would work fine but is, like you said, boring.

I'm leaning towards C... on the other hand, you could take both of them aside and ask for a volunteer between the two of them.

Stasrubis is overkill. You want to SHAPE weak minds, not SNAP THEM LIKE TWIGS.

Hmm. You slash Lumei is supposed to move water for the Rock Eater after this. Should you switch back before that is done? She let her water magic get weak. You might be able to move it another way?

>the common cold
Oh right, I forgot this body is supposed to be diseased. Do you even feel that, or did you fight it off and kill it without even noticing?

>who pick
I guess I'm leaning towards C or D. Not sure whether it's more important to give Punching Bag the chance to prove himself, or to play it safe.

C. If he wins its good. If he looses you show the others they need to train more.

Definitely not A or B.
C is probably the best option... if Punching Bag can be hyped up to actually try his best. Otherwise, he'll likely fail from lack of willpower.

Let's consider D a secondary plan if C doesn't seem up to the task.

I am amazed at how choice D, despite being the best answer, is disliked for being so boring...
I vote D, even if I stand alone on that.

D.

D: Sheemus.

Because she is a RUTHLESS KILLER OF FANCY CLOCKS. And as such she is already experienced in THE CRUSHING OF ONE'S ASPIRATIONS. That poor Apprentice Carpenter...

Mmm D seems to be a good choice, as long as you are sure she will actually give it her best you don't have to worry too much.
C might be a more interesting fight but the pupil might lose and that would defeat the purpose of this entire endeavor. And might even undermine your position.

Chop 2015/07/05(Sun)11:19 No. 653189 ID: dd338c
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CHOP shall levitate SAFETY to RULE NUMBER 1, and order SHEEMUS to fight this INSTRUCTOR of COMPROMISES.

CHOP'S MIND must recall any VALID REASON THAT PERSISTS to stay within LUMEI'S BODY for longer, before this MIXUP has been UNMIXED.

Pretty sure Rock Eater wants to inconvenience you, not Lumei. So YOU have to do those chores.

>CHOP'S MIND must recall any VALID REASON THAT PERSISTS to stay within LUMEI'S BODY
You have to show up Rock Eater! Her actions suggest she learned you were switched and thus unable to use water magic, or that Lumei had let her training lapse, and would be unable to fulfill the water magic task. You won't allow Rock Eater to win this battle of humiliation!

You must complete the task your "sick" and undisciplined student would fail. Somehow.

Summon Water.

Using physical effort in lieu of magic is just cheating your assigned task.

Chop 2015/07/05(Sun)13:03 No. 653212 ID: dd338c
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Chop has SUCCESSFULLY RECALLED the ROCK EATER'S INCONVENIENCE. SHEEMUS may do GLORIOUS BATTLE of which to PROVE HERSELF as POWERFUL and the INSTRUCTOR as NOT at a LATER HOUR. For the NOW HOUR, CHOP shall RECOGNIZE that it was CHOP'S MIND IN LUMEI'S BODY who has AGREED to ROCK EATER'S TASK, and so it is CHOP'S MIND IN LUMEI'S BODY that shall PERFORM this TASK. ROCK EATER's LOCATION has been REVEALED using INVESTIGATIVE TECHNIQUE: ASK QUESTION.

>"Aha, you actually came. Lumei. Your name is Lumei, right?"
"YOU ARE CORRECT."
>"Yeah, yeah, Lumei. Alright, then. We got some manual laborers around doing a lot of the cleaning, but the water is so far to go get to clean with. So we just want you to fill up this water bucket for us and keep it going. Using your magic. That you got."

Chop has thought of TWO OPTIONS HE MAY PERFORM.

A) Run to the river with such UNFATHOMABLE SPEED as to convince onlookers that MAGIC MUST BE IN PLAY.
B) Use CHOP'S GREAT MIND MAGIC and THE BODY OF THE WATER MAGE to attempt to cast SUMMON WATER.

Magic can't be that hard right? Summon up some water.

What no C: divert river's path to feed the bucket? (Or maybe D: the magic of invention, from strength of the mind. Invent the hose).

Failing that, start with A, I suppose.

B, it cannot be that difficult of a matter to perform this task.
And if it fails we shall do the running thing.

1/3 Chop 2015/07/05(Sun)14:22 No. 653231 ID: dd338c
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"LUMEI CASTS OPTION B: SUMMON WATER."
>"Option wha-"

2/3 Chop 2015/07/05(Sun)14:23 No. 653232 ID: dd338c
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ptoo

3/3 Chop 2015/07/05(Sun)14:24 No. 653234 ID: dd338c
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"You're.... fucking with... you're serious, aren't you?"

Continue casting SUMMON WATER? y/n

This might take a while.

>>653234
This one doubts your resolve. Show them what one can accomplish with great stubbornness.

Cast summon water again, but before the water reaches the bucket, do option A, so it looks like you filled it.

>>653234
You may as well summon the water from your bladder, that may make things go faster.
It's more sterile than spit too!
That's how survivalists do it.

1/3 Chop 2015/07/05(Sun)15:38 No. 653247 ID: dd338c
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"You doubt the RESOLVE of LUMEI? I shall continue."

2/3 Chop 2015/07/05(Sun)15:38 No. 653248 ID: dd338c
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An indefinite period of time later...

>"Oh cool there's a bucket of water!" a STONE POLISHER claims, HOISTING it upwards and moving away. "Thanks, uh... you must be Lumei."

3/3 Chop 2015/07/05(Sun)15:39 No. 653249 ID: dd338c
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>"You are so goddamn lucky I don't like that useless asshole, Chop. Don't get me wrong, I'm impressed how much saliva Lumei can make, but you know what? How about you just help us scrub the walls for the rest of the day before you start thinking it's okay to fuckin' piss in the buckets to fill them up."

You can scrub those walls so hard they won't ever need to be scrubbed again.

That being said make sure you do not overwork this body while its sick.

Wait.

>Lumei has a cold
>spreading buckets of saliva around
I think we just failed basic hygiene. We just got those workers sick.

Scrub those walls so well everyone will swear the room has expended several centimeters in every direction.

>>653254
Keep your fetishes out of this.

Scrub them.

>>653256
Seriously man, shut up already about it.

Yeah...
Let's just scrub them. Let's just laugh at Rock Eater's expense that her reaction is gold. A good old Chop laugh.

>>653249
Can't you actually try to use magic?

1/2 Chop 2015/07/05(Sun)21:28 No. 653336 ID: dd338c
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>Actually try to use Magic
Chop KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS ZERO PERCENTAGES of what PRACTICES the MAGES OF THE CAVERNS EMPLOY for STANDARD MAGIC. ATTEMPTS to replicate this result in an ANGRY POSE OF USELESSNESS.

Lumei has BESTED THIS BODY AFFLICTION, and any PERCEIVED TIREDNESS that remains is the TIREDNESS after a HARD BATTLE. Lumei's saliva is now A BUCKET OF HEATH.

"Lumei shall SCRUB THE WALLS so hard that NO SCRUBBING SHALL BE REQUIRED AGAIN, and THE ROOM WILL HAVE BEEN EXPANDED. Lumei must contain LAUGHTER you would think anything less than RECORD BREAKING shall be invoked."
>"First, not how it works, second, I didn't say obliterate the walls, and third, seriously, stop calling yourself Lumei."

2/2 Chop 2015/07/05(Sun)21:28 No. 653337 ID: dd338c
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The WALLS of UNDETERMINED USE begin receiving a CHOP MINDED LUMEI SCRUBBING that it shall NOT FORGET SHOULD IT EVER TRY.

>"...shit, they're actually getting clean as hell. You're actually doing this menial task. You're making it pretty fucking hard to hate you right now."

>>653337
As a side benefit this is a good workout for Lumei's body. Maybe this could be part of her training, occasionally. Spray down the walls with water magic to keep her magic muscles ready for action, then scrub them as fast as she can to keep working on her physical muscles.

Ask Rock Eater why she insists on inconveniencing you so.

There are no MENIAL TASKS. All TASKS must be EXECUTED WITH 1000% EXCELLENCE or they are not worth doing AT ALL.

>>653337
LUMEICHOP does NOT REQUIRE your LOVE. FOR it is THE BATTLE I FIGHT FOR.
The BATTLE against GERMS!
No GERMS shall receive mercy. They will have the HONOR of OBLITERATION. A FAIR BATTLE.
We'll need to ETCH a MEMORIAL for the BACTERIA that DIED today. GET TO WORK ROCK EATER. CHOPLUMEI has already started on writing STREPTOCOCCI into this WALL.

>>653343
what this guy said.