>>666093
I think mage-abuse time might be over. Lumei is getting upset.

Oh well the cleaning and feeding is probably done by now anyway. See if the swapmage is feeling healthy enough to fix things.

Right. Let's see if the swap mage is fixed yet.

1/2 Chop 2015/08/31(Mon)21:43 No. 666173 ID: dd338c
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Upon CHOP'S RETURN to the SWAPMAGE, word comes in that THE MAGE CAVERNS have been SUCCESSFULLY SUBDUED, and shall shortly be THE CLEAN CAVERNS.

"SWAPMAGE. Are you ABLE TO SWAP?"
>"If.... if I do, will you guys go away?"
"SO LONG as the MAGES REMAIN CLEANSED, YES."
>"Then... yeah. Yeah let's do this."

2/2 Chop 2015/08/31(Mon)21:44 No. 666174 ID: dd338c
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CHOP'S MIND AND BODY ARE ONE AGAIN.

"LUMEI. CONFIRM THAT THIS MAGE DID NOT ACCIDENTALLY SWAP YOU WITH AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER to lead to FUTURE MISADVENTURES."
>"Nope, nope, I'm okay! I mean, weak, but..."
"INCORRECT. IS CHOPBODY'S VISION INFERIOR? NO. You have SEEN THE STRENGTH THAT LIES WITHIN, it is your AILING BELIEFS THAT BRING YOUR WEAKNESS."
>"Y.... yeah, I guess so. I-I mean, yeah, you're right!"

It is time to either CONTINUE CHOP'S ARMY VERSUS REMNANTS OF MAGICAL RESISTANCE, or begin SHEEMUS VERSUS INSTRUCTOR OF THE WEAK.

>>666174
Witness the HUMBLING of your RIVAL.

Lumei: hug self like a silly person, because you're happy to be you again.

>It is time to either CONTINUE CHOP'S ARMY VERSUS REMNANTS OF MAGICAL RESISTANCE, or begin SHEEMUS VERSUS INSTRUCTOR OF THE WEAK.
Choparmy v mages is a forgone conclusion. We know they're getting cleaned no matter what.

On to Sheemus and suspense.

Just remember that the INSTRUCTOR OF THE WEAK is not really our rival he's just another trainer in the caverns, just like how there are more then one mage there can be more then one trainer. This is about getting our students back not getting rid of the instructor.
Who knows, maybe his style if instructing will encourage others to start training and some of them might wont a tougher challenge and come to our dojo.

The mages have been cleansed nicely and while you might have to stop by occasionally it should be good for now.

So off to deal with the other instructor.

1/2 Chop 2015/09/01(Tue)16:40 No. 666353 ID: dd338c
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"CHOP and LUMEI shall leave the MAGE SCRUBBING DUTIES to CHOP'S ARMY." CHOP states, DOING EXACTLY THAT as he ENTERS THE DOJO.

"SHEEMUS."
>"Ah?! Oh gosh I didn't lose my name already! Yes?!"
"You shall be my RECRUIT OF CHOICE to MEET THE INSTRUCTOR that has PULLED THE FELLOW RECRUITS IN as BABY BEARS TO BABY BEE HONEY."
>"Oh, what am I gonna do with the instructor?"
"BATTLE."
>"OH. Oh... okay! I guess!"

2/2 Chop 2015/09/01(Tue)16:40 No. 666354 ID: dd338c
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CHOP, LUMEI and SHEEMUS have ENTERED THE LAIR OF FEEBLENESS.

"Where have the RECRUITS GONE TO?"
>"Ah! Chop! Chop! It's you! Hello! I mean, - okay, yeah, some of your recruits came by, sorry about that, I didn't actually mean for them to come but the chieftain was talking about how before I can teach any villagers I should see if I can get the recommendation of some of Chop's pupils and - er, sorry, let me slow down. You're an idol of mine! Your recruits were let off for the day, actually, so I don't know where they are. What can I do for you? Have you come to beat me up maybe?"

>>666354
Why, would you enjoy that? I am here to test your strength against SHEEMUS!

>Have you come to beat me up maybe?
Chop does not BEAT PEOPLE UP. He BATTLES ENEMIES and TRAINS STUDENTS. You are currently NEITHER.

>recruits gone
Hmm. Loses some impact without an audience. Maybe we should arrange for them to be here.

We need to make this guy one of your students so you can teach him the ways of strength personally.

>Chop does not BEAT PEOPLE UP. He BATTLES ENEMIES and TRAINS STUDENTS. You are currently NEITHER.
However, Chop has decided to GAUGE THE TINY TRAINER'S STRENGTH in the art of TEACHING STUDENTS by having one of his students DUEL THE THIN TEACHER. Chop's expectations are NOT HIGH for the TRAINER OF FLAPPY ARMS.

1/3 Chop 2015/09/05(Sat)15:58 No. 667524 ID: dd338c
File 144149388876.png - (111.44KB , 800x800 , 423.png )

"Does the SHEER IDEA of DESTRUCTION BY CHOP sound IDEAL? NO. It shall by by SHEEMUS. CHOP shall merely be the JUDGE, and LUMEI and LOVEGNOLL the GRAND AUDIENCE. The BATTLE BEGINS NOW."

SHEEMUS and the INSTUCTOR meet on the ROCKS OF FIGHT, and engage in GRUESOMELY DETAILED POLITENESS.

2/3 Chop 2015/09/05(Sat)15:58 No. 667525 ID: dd338c
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This BOWING OF FRIENDSHIP molds into HALF ENTHUSED FIGHTING. However, upon A VARIOUS NUMBER OF SECONDS, this then TRANSFORMS ITSELF into a MILD TUSSLE.

3/3 Chop 2015/09/05(Sat)16:13 No. 667530 ID: dd338c
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LOVEGNOLL claims they are on EVEN GROUND.

HOWEVER. With CHOP'S SQUINTING TECHNIQUE, it can be seen that SHEEMUS is SLIGHTLY LOSING. She does not have the heart for BATTLES OF SPECTATION, only the BATTLE FOR LIVES. At the current BATTLEPACE, SHEEMUS shall be the LOSER.

>"What's the point of this anyway, Chop?" the SO CALLED INSTRUCTOR remarks MIDCOMBAT. "Even if I win this fight, I know your recruits are strong, you wouldn't allow it any other way! You didn't have to get them to beat me up to prove it."

>At the current BATTLEPACE, SHEEMUS shall be the LOSER.
Perhaps she needs to be inspired?

>What's the point of this anyway, Chop?
The battle is as much a lesson for Chop's students as it is for the instructor.

you fight and lose until you win. training makes you strong but you can only learn to fight by fighting. to shy away from the low risk fights puts you in danger of the real ones.

>>667527
The teacher should always be stronger than the student! This is to demonstrate that weak teachings cannot produce strong students. Tell him that Sheemus is not your strongest student, and if Lumei were fighting here, he would have lost already.

Speaking of which, SHEEMUS, WIN. Treat it like a battle of LIFE OR DEATH. He is the ENEMY, you must DESTROY HIM.
Threaten punishment for losing. Like maybe she has to eat breakfast that you prepare for the next week.

Its not about proving my recruits are strong. Its testing you to make sure you are strong enough to be trusted with training our people.

If you do no know enough about fighting and physical training its means that any training from you would be worse than nothing.

Its better for pupils to think they are weak and run from danger than to have a false sense of confidence and run into fights that will get them killed.

>>667530
CHOP is APPLYING MEASUREMENTS.
MUSCLE SCIENCE CANNOT BE APPLIED when one SIDE of the SCALE is NOT ACCURATELY MEASURED.
BEHOLD, STUDENTS! Your first lesson in MUSCLE SCIENCE.

1/2 Chop 2015/09/05(Sat)18:41 No. 667569 ID: dd338c
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"To PROVE to the INSTRUCTOR OF FLABBY ARMS that the INSTRUCTOR CANNOT TEACH THAT WHICH CAN BEAT HIM, as well as APPLYING MUSCLE MEASUREMENTS."
>"That's not actually true, Chop! But nevermind that, I didn't really want to teach your recruits anyway!"
"Then why has THE VISION OF CHOP'S RECRUITS INSIDE OF THIS VERY ROOM met with CHOP'S EYEBALLS?"
>"I actually just wanted to teach the villagers! But your Chieftain said that I had to prove I could get the good word from your recruits first before I could teach normal cave denizens here."
"And you wish to RECEIVE THE GOOD WORD of THOSE WHO BEST YOU IN COMBAT? SHEEMUS, treat this battle as LIFE OR DEATH, as LOSING SHALL BE SUBMITTING TO CHOP'S PUNISHMENT."
>"I don't make the rules! You once visited my town, and you were really strong, but we couldn't be that strong! We had to farm and hunt and do all kinds of stuff, and I started teaching there to maximize our fighting power for what little training we could afford in a day. And we got pretty decent, you know? We can't match up to fighters here, but we're way stronger than the average cave denizen here, too! And that's who I wanted to train!"

2/2 Chop 2015/09/05(Sat)18:45 No. 667572 ID: dd338c
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SHEEMUS pins the INSTRUCTOR with NEWFOUND VIGOR.

>"So, I don't think you proved anything to me! I'm not here to get your recruits, I'm here to make the average cave denizen able to at least defend themselves if it came to it!"

I have no problem with that plan. I just wanted to test your capabilities and see what your training was like.

If you want you can join my students and learn from me. Then you can take my training methods and soften them so that the normal bolds will not run away in fear.

Plus any of your students can come join my dojo if they want to continue there training and take it to the next level.

The point, as in all fights, is to test oneself and one's opponent! If one intends to ever enter battles with lives on the line, one must know oneself, one's capabilities and limits, to their utmost. The only way to know these capabilities and limits is to have been pushed to them, and thus every fight, even one such as this, becomes a fight for the knowledge that may save yourself and your comrades.

Every fight is not only against one's opponent, but against oneself! You must know if your arms cannot lift a certain weight, if your legs will collapse after a certain effort, if your heart will not bear with you against a certain amount of fear! For if you do not know these things about your body, then one day your body's failings will be the end of you or your friends. A warrior's weaknesses are their deadliest enemy! So, when a true warrior trains, they train like they mean it! And when they fight, even if one of their opponents is only a friend helping them to learn about themselves, then still they must fight with all their strength against the other deadly enemy who is always with them!

Which means that EVERY FIGHT IN WHICH YOU DO NOT TRAIN, LEARN ABOUT OR TEST YOURSELF is ONE IN WHICH YOU HAVE LOST. And if you did not put forth your full effort, you are BOTH LOSERS.

CHOP already had the notion that the instructor could teach those who lack the time or inclination to become TRUE WARRIORS. It is clear to Chop, however, that CERTAIN PEOPLE in these caverns had begun to wonder if this lesser training would also be capable of creating TRUE WARRIORS, and that therefore if it would be possible to NOT TRAIN WITH CHOP. It was the intention of CHOP to make it clear that this is not the case.

Also Chop was OFFENDED THAT ALL THIS TOOK PLACE WITHOUT CHOP'S INFORMATION OR CONSENT. The instructor could have MET WITH CHOP AND HAD THIS LESSER TRAINING PLAN APPROVED WITHOUT ALL THESE SHENANIGANS, and the fact that CERTAIN PEOPLE went BEHIND HIS MIGHTY BACK indicates both their GUILT and their LACK OF RESPECT.

>>667572
Tell him you agree with his hopes. This training competition was pointless and misleading.

However he really should put a little more physical exercise in his regimen.

>>667572
I doubt my recruits will be entirely pleased you were less than fully truthful with them.

Tell him you have no complaint with the cave bolds getting better, but your students are ordinary cave denizens.

Instruct Sheemus to explain all the ordinary cave denizen stuff she does in addition to her training.

>"So, I don't think you proved anything to me! I'm not here to get your recruits, I'm here to make the average cave denizen able to at least defend themselves if it came to it!"
A teacher should be STRONGER than those he considers his STUDENTS. Chop will TOLERATE SUCH TEACHING if the teacher TAKES THE TIME TO ADVANCE HIS STRENGTH. Whether he does so with CHOP'S TEACHING or HIS OWN ROUTINES is of NO CONCEQUENCE to Chop, so long as he ALWAYS SEEKS TO MAINTAIN HIS STRENGTH.

That sounds fine to me.
And at east your honor is intact, that is important too.
But what he is planning is good, it will save you the time of having to put everyone through basic training as well. So you can focus on the training of real warriors instead...
(And maybe if they've already gone through basic training they won't be quite so feeble when you get them.)

1/2 Chop 2015/09/08(Tue)18:34 No. 668466 ID: dd338c
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"CHOP'S STUDENTS are CLASSIFIED as ORDINARY DENIZENS. Perhaps even CAVE MAGGOTS."
>"Well, sure, they - er, are ordinary denizens, now, but you're going to make them into tough warriors!"
"CORRECT. Perhaps CHOP can AGREE to this IDEA OF BLASPHEMY of HALF WARRIORS. BUT. Did the INSTRUCTOR OF ILL FORESIGHT not think to ALERT CHOP TO ITS PRESENCE?"
>"That, uh, that surprised me. I mean, to do this, I'd go to your chief, right? And I mean of course you'd want to know too definitely for sure! But I would have thought that your chief would have let you know! Or your students, for that matter."
"And the LESSON OF TODAY IS THE INSTRUCTOR BEING INCORRECT. Now, CHOP SHALL PRESENT EXTRAORDINARY ISSUES, and the INSTRUCTOR shall DEFEND THE HONOR OF THESE ISSUES. ISSUE ONE. The INSTRUCTION that the tiny one before me supplies has LITTLE TO NO PHYSICAL EXERTION."
>"I was thinking about that!"
"DO NOT THINK ABOUT THAT. DO ABOUT THAT."
>"Right, right! This place is different! At my home, we were all so tired at the end of the day, it was all we could do to train any more. Or at all. But here, even as though things get, there's more room for physical exertion! I could include more."
"This COMPROMISE shall create CHILDREN instead of BABIES. TOLERABLE for the PRESENT TIME."

2/2 Chop 2015/09/08(Tue)18:34 No. 668467 ID: dd338c
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"ISSUE TWO. The TEACHER must be STRONGER THAN THE STUDENTS."
>"Oh, yes! Well, no. I still disagree, but! I'm willing to deal with that and fight anyone who wants to graduate. But even if I can't beat a single one of your pupils, I can beat the various villagers who might want to train."
"ACCEPTABLE. ISSUE THREE. COMMUNICATION should be that of LOUD GIANTS, not PEBBLE lost in CENTER OF GROUND. AS A RESULT, CHOP'S HONOR has been SUCCESSFULLY DEFENDED after requiring NO DEFENDING, amongst OTHER SURMOUNTABLE INCONVENIENCES."
>"I don't have any excuse for that, I'm sorry, Chop! I'll be sure to let you know personally about anything that is even a little related to your dojo in the future."
"ACCEPTABLE IN THE FUTURE. FINAL ISSUE. AVERAGE CAVE DENIZENS may FOOLISHLY BELIEVE that the NEW INSTRUCTOR'S HOBBY TRAINING can create FULL WARRIORS without undergoing FULL CHOP TRAINING."
>"No, no, no! Not at all! I was going to finish on that note, but now I'll say to everyone right away, that it won't be any kind of replacement for Chop's training, it'll just be manageable for the people who want to learn how to defend themselves as best they can while also devoting their best to other stuff in the day."
"CHOP contains FORMIDABLE APPREHENSION. HOWEVER. It is a FULLY KNOWN FACT that CHOP does not perform INSTANT DENIAL of that which RAISES HIS EYEBROW. CHOP shall ENTERTAIN YOUR IDEA>"
>"Really?! Ye-"
"AT THE AGREEANCE THAT CHOP CAN SMASH THIS HALF TRAINING AT ANY POINT."
>"That's fine, that's fine! I just want one chance, and I'll give it my best! Anything else you'd want me to do?"
"PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS by ENGAGING IN CHOP TRAINING."
>"Are you kidding? That's basically my life dream outside of teaching myself! As long as I get some time off to teach myself, I'll be sure to work twice as hard when I'm learning from you to make up for it."
"THESE WORDS of yours have PROVEN THEIR STRENGTH to LIFT CHOP'S EYEBROWS BEYOND PREVIOUS ELEVATIONS. HOWEVER. ACCEPTABLE."

With this RARE OCCURRENCE OF CHOP GENEROSITY, the TALKING has NOW DIED, and CHOP must engage in FUTURE ACTIONS for any REMAINING DUTIES.

>>668467
Well, I guess remedial training for babbies is now a thing. Welcome to kobold kindergarten kiddos.

Hmm. Is there anything to do besides continuing training? Now we roped rockeater and puny instructor into it too.

>>668467
Did we decide on a specific magical training schedule for Lumei? Also, do a strength test right now to see if she can break through her psychological barrier now that she's experienced being stronger than she is.

One issue, if Basic Instructor participates in Chop Training, won't he start to get too strong for his students to beat him and thus graduate? Or was that like, for students that want to graduate early?

Lastly... get some recipes for your own use that use your ingredients but don't taste like fire. Because variety.

I think the CHIEF needs to be given a sound LASHING to provide him a lesson on ADEQUATE RESPECT, as well as ADEQUATE PROVISION OF INFORMATION TO HIS PROFESSIONALS on MATTERS OF THEIR PROFESSIONAL SUBJECTS.

This lashing shall be METAPHORICALLY GIVEN WITH TONGUES, but should still metaphorically STRIP THE FLESH FROM HIS BONES. He should by now heard of all SHENANIGANS, and should be vulnerable to the knowledge that they stem ultimately from his NOT CONSULTING CHOP before SUBVERTING CHOP'S AUTHORITY to permit something which EVIDENTLY CHOP WOULD HAVE PERMITTED HIMSELF. The Chief appears to be under the impression that the mighty Chop is somehow UNREASONABLE.

WHERESOEVER THIS MYSTERIOUS IDEA CAME FROM IT MUST BE DESTROYED.

>>668467
I think Lumei should get an increase in rank, because out of all of the new recruits, she's the one with the most experience and deserves a rank increase! She'll be one rank above the new guys, but still far below Stasrubis and Chop.

(Like how in real life, some martial arts have belt colors to show rank. I think Lumei should get the next color up! Or whatever Chop's idea of "next rank up" is.)

>>668627
Also, don't forget about the agreement you had with Shabin!

That sounds fine to me! And you get to teach the teacher, so everyone should know the proper order of things. As is only proper.
Sounds like it is almost all sorted out...just a loose end or two to clear up right?
You have to help a certain rock eater now I do believe.

1/3 Chop 2015/09/09(Wed)18:21 No. 668719 ID: dd338c
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>One issue, if Basic Instructor participates in Chop Training, won't he start to get too strong for his students to beat him and thus graduate?
There is NO GRADUATION from INTENSE STUDY AND EFFORT.

ONLY QUITTING.

>I think the CHIEF needs to be given a sound LASHING to provide him a lesson on ADEQUATE RESPECT
This LASHING shall be in the form of INTENSE CHOP TRAINING.

>Increase Lumei's rank
By VIRTUE OF VALIANT EFFORT, LUMEI and SHEEMUS are now known as LUMEI AND SHEEMUS instead of PUNY AND DAINTY NAMES that CHOP shall NOT EVEN BOTHER TO RECALL.

"The EVENT known as TODAY shall now COME TO A CLOSE. TOMORROW. The ROCK EATER and the INSTRUCTOR shall meet alongside the RECRUITS to be TAUGHT IN THE WAYS OF TEACHING at MORNING."
>"Okay! I'll be there."
>"By the way, when he says morning, he means about an hour before dawn." LUMEI whispers the STRATEGIES of NON-TARDY WARRIORS.
"LUMEI shall have a SPECIAL TRAINING REGIMENT involving THE SAME AMOUNT OF PHYSICAL LABOR as well as MAGICAL MUSCLE TRAINING."
>"Yes sir." LUMEI RESPONDS.
>"Yes sir." PRINCESS RESPONDS
"BOTH SHALL SAY SO AGAIN with less than the EIGHTY PERCENT FEAR CONTENT THAT LUMEI HAS SENT TO DIE WITHIN CHOP'S EARS."
>"Yes, sir!"
>"Yes, sir!"

CHOP is under the impression that the CHIEF believes CHOP to be UNREASONABLE.

OTHER PRIORITIES REMAIN, but at a FUTURE TIME, CHOP shall SHOW THE CHIEF an UNRELENTING ONSLAUGHT OF BEING REASONABLE.

2/3 Chop 2015/09/09(Wed)18:22 No. 668720 ID: dd338c
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The next MORNING that is the HOUR BEFORE DAWN has arrived. ALL RECRUITS and NEW RECRUITS are ON TIME.

"Is the ROCK EATER PRESENT?"
>"Uh, yeah, I'm right behind you."

3/3 Chop 2015/09/09(Wed)18:23 No. 668721 ID: dd338c
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"ONE HUNDRED PERCENT INCORRECT. Is the INSTRUCTOR PRESENT?"
>"Uhhhhhhhhhh yes? Sir?"
"TWO HUNDRED PERCENTAGES OF INCORRECT. The two PILES OF MALLEABLE FLUFF that LIE BEFORE CHOP'S EYES neither INSTRUCT NOR EAT ROCKS WITHIN THE DOJO."

What shall their NEW TRAINEE NAMES BE, such that they may EARN THEIR TRUE NAMES WHEN THE TIME COMES?

>What shall their NEW TRAINEE NAMES BE, such that they may EARN THEIR TRUE NAMES WHEN THE TIME COMES?
PUPPY and SASSFANG.

>>668721
The INSTRUCTOR will be known as LAMBCHOP for being a SOFT SHEEP WANNABE CHOP

ROCK EATER will be known as... actually I have nothing. She's tough. I mean, she has some HAMLEGS but CHOP does NOT CALL OUT HAM-SHAPED LEGS. FLUFFYPANTS I guess.

But no seriously, damn girl, she got the ham legs.

LAZYBONES, who believes gratuitous resting should be part of one's training regimen, and FUSSYFEET who loves to get into other people's business and cause them great inconvenience.

>>668721
Rock eater shall be FLUFF EARS.

The instructor will be WHISPERWEIGHT. He has not yet earned the right to be even a LIGHTWEIGHT.

Wannabe 1 and wannabe 2, the first one wants to be a trainer and the second wants to be a knoll.

I support SASSFANG for former Rock Eater. The instruction aspirant shall be the SNOOZETUTOR.

I see we have our two new recruits, DORK SOFTPUNCH, and SORE ROCKSMASH.

1/2 Chop 2015/09/12(Sat)21:52 No. 669330 ID: dd338c
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"THIS ONE wishes to LAY INSTRUCTIONAL PATHS towards becoming SOFT SHEEP-LIKE WARRIORS. THEREFORE, it shall be known as LAMBCHOP. THE ONE with FLUFFY PANTS shall be called SASSFANG."
>"That is a really lucky name to get." I hear the WHISPERS from the PEANUT GALLERY OF OLDER RECRUITS.
"There is NO LUCK. Although it OWNS THE ESSENCE OF MAGGOTS WITHIN THE DOJO, it is known that the DOJO is to SUPPLY WARRIOR WORTH TO THE CAVERNS. Since SASSFANG has proven OVERALL WORTH to the CAVERNS, it is WORTHY OF DOJO ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Furthermore, SASSFANG CLAIMED TO OWE CHOP A FAVOR."

Chop's Dojo Thread 3 END Chop 2015/09/12(Sat)21:52 No. 669331 ID: dd338c
File 144211995494.png - (135.47KB , 800x800 , 434.png )

>"Yeah, because I forgot I was already doing a favor with increasing the size of your recruits' shitty rooms."
"ACCEPTABLE FAVOR. As such, TRAINING FOR NEW AND OLD RECRUITS BEGINS NOW UNTIL FOREVER."