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Mystery Charming
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"What was that still doing here? It was all supposed to be gone two hours ago. Yes, I know real plants are hard to find on the asteroid, that- No. Climate conditions? Look, I don't care. Just get rid of it. Yes, fine, somewhere appropriate, just not here."
"Hok."
"Hey, Polokoa. My most... favourite... Um. Look, uh, sorry about letting it out that I beat you that one time, I swear I wanted to keep it quiet as much as you did. But, look, here, Zozu's already been pumping me for tips, so it's the least I can do to give you some advice. Tell you the basics? So..."
>What are the stakes? Seems like just bragging rights.
>What's the theme? Ground rules, please.
>We need to get Hok in on this.
"Ok, right. In a Rap Battle, basically, you fight for the approval of the audience, or what we call CRED. The way you get cred is by landing BURNS on your opponent, but it's more complicated than that; you also have to think about your SWAG and your FLOW."
"Uh. Think about it like a video game, I guess. Burns, which are when you insult your opponent, or when you shoot him down or score points philosophically if you're going more for debate mode, are like your attacks, and come in ranks of how strong they are. So for example a normal Burn would give you two points, a SWEET BURN gives you four, and it goes on up so your SICK, ICE and PLASMA BURNs give you more. Your Swag, which is like, your bling and your clothes and your backup performers and such, give you a bonus to your Burns, like another point or two for every one you have. Finally, your Flow is most important of all, and it's like a multiplier for the points you get from your Burns and Swag. Your flow depends on how good your rhymes are, how well you ride the beat, using wordplay and metaphor and recurrent themes and... you know, poetry."
"Your Burns and Flow have to come at the moment, really, but you can set up your Swag in advance, so that's what you should be doing now. Zozu's gonna get himself dressed up nice, and you should, too. You could also try to get yourself some backup performers, but traditionally they're supposed to show what a big deal you are by surrounding you with, uh, well, implied sex partners, really. For me, that just means they have to be mikliks, but you'd need male neumono, and you look like you've got a limited supply. Zozu has the same problem, though. I think he wanted his lady to join in, but it looks like she outmaneuvered him by getting herself too drunk to dance."
I think I'm going to leave that option.
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