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File 136480667429.png - (102.08KB , 600x500 , intro1.png )
503053 No. 503053 ID: d3bdc2

>So it was a pretty normal day/night/sleep cycle on the Asteroid
Expand all images
>>
No. 503054 ID: d3bdc2
File 136480669520.png - (148.48KB , 600x500 , intro2.png )
503054

>Then a ship crashes!

>HUNDREDS ARE DEAD but they were all evil robot criminals.
>>
No. 503055 ID: d3bdc2
File 136480671638.png - (136.48KB , 600x500 , intro3.png )
503055

>A lone figure emerges from the wreckage.
>>
No. 503056 ID: d3bdc2
File 136480673907.png - (152.33KB , 600x500 , intro4.png )
503056

"I made it onto the surface."

"It's all gone according to plan."
>>
No. 503057 ID: d3bdc2
File 136480676748.png - (365.91KB , 600x550 , title.png )
503057

>>
No. 503058 ID: d3bdc2
File 136480681047.png - (130.44KB , 600x500 , intro5.png )
503058

Alright, guys. We're here. Time for an exposition monologue.

You and I both know you have work enough shepherding nanites and keeping tabs on my freak biology, but I also know you can give pretty good advice sometimes, for a spliced-in cutting of a CAI that was messed up to begin with. This place might be the last fun we have in a while, so let's enjoy ourselves.
>>
No. 503059 ID: d3bdc2
File 136480685022.png - (240.03KB , 800x711 , map.png )
503059

This asteroid is the last place to find major amounts of neumono that aren't part of the hyperhive yet. That'd be reason enough, but there's salikai, too. Some major players leading a mob called the Zozu family. I'm here to deal with them.

After the trouble with that mecha-space-bandito cult that we went through to get here, though, I'm a bit underequipped. I need food, good transport and better weapons. I wish I still had my sniper shotgun, but some regular rifles would do. The only places nearby that I can find that sort of thing are a SPACE PIRATE BASE, a SPACE BIKER DEN and a SPACE VILLAGER VILLAGE that might have a gun shop.

Time is limited, though - once I go anywhere with neumono, the alert will go up that I'm in the area. I'd like to go silent, but the last interstellar treaty says I have to give civilians a chance to run away. Maybe it would be a better idea to advance on Zozu territory as quickly as possible.

Talk to me.
>>
No. 503060 ID: 67e8b2

Add "Shit just got real" and then hang up dramatically.
>>
No. 503061 ID: 76b151

i... love you.
>>
No. 503062 ID: 67e8b2

>>503059
Your terminator glasses demand you start off by accosting bikers.
>>
No. 503064 ID: 76b151

Space Biker Den will have food, guns and transport .. the first two probably won't be the best. But you should find a mean barbeque and lots of jury-rigged specials. Maybe even a gem amongst the pigs. Better yet theres bound to be damsels \ waifs in distress.
>>
No. 503065 ID: f2c20c

>>503059
If we're going in fast, we should get to the bikers and get a bike. There will probably be someone there with some guns we can use, too.
>>
No. 503068 ID: 04b86a

Is "deal with" some sort of new euphemism for hug? Because if it is then I totally agree that the Zozu family needs dealt with.
>>
No. 503069 ID: 57d82a

go clockwise and visit everything, leaving a trail of fire and blood behind. interstellar treaty can go stick its dick into a neutron star. start from the village.
>>
No. 503084 ID: d3bdc2
File 136481403318.png - (105.08KB , 600x500 , spacebikers1.png )
503084

>bikers

>"So the whole thing is on fire, and turns out, he's wearing a suit made of asbestos! He's running around the arena, flames still stuck to him, and get this, he starts touching and kicking and even fucking tasting things! Everything he can reach! The guy-"
>>
No. 503086 ID: d3bdc2
File 136481412326.png - (105.35KB , 600x500 , spacebikers2.png )
503086

>"Wait. Wh- SHIT FUCKING QUASARS, IT'S HER!!!!!"
>>
No. 503087 ID: d3bdc2
File 136481414912.png - (111.70KB , 600x500 , spacebikers3.png )
503087

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
>>
No. 503088 ID: d3bdc2
File 136481422143.png - (70.25KB , 600x500 , spacebikers4.png )
503088

>>
No. 503089 ID: d3bdc2
File 136481425168.png - (83.62KB , 600x500 , spacebikers5.png )
503089

Right. How am I going to go about doing this?
>>
No. 503090 ID: f2c20c

>>503089
Ask that tough guy in the foreground where you can find some guns. Then punch him out and steal his keys and bike. Drive to gun place, acquire guns. Jump the gun-laden motorcycle off a ramp to exit the city as several cars explode behind you.
>>
No. 503091 ID: cb6884

I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.
>>
No. 503093 ID: 57d82a

agreed, faces need to be punched and dominance needs to be established.
>>
No. 503094 ID: eaa6fc

secure bike, those unarmed, kick in the face so we can tie them up & let the law handle them, gather weapons.
>>
No. 503095 ID: d6ef5d

I like it that none of the non-neumono were smart enough to follow their fuzzball compatriots when they all started screaming and running for their lives. Obviously these guys have trust issues. Or they're just stupid.

Calmly demand they surrender everything they want to you. If the sheep gives you any shit, straiten his horns out. Or just tie them in knots.
>>
No. 503178 ID: d3bdc2
File 136484112867.png - (78.71KB , 600x500 , bikerstofight.png )
503178

I punch the biker in the snout to establish superiority. As queen of all neumono, I have some extra superiority that needs spreading around, but I'm soon the owner of some shiny bike keys and directions to a gun shop.
>>
No. 503180 ID: d3bdc2
File 136484116013.png - (130.68KB , 600x500 , bikerstofight2.png )
503180

However, the common space biker (angelicus inferus sidereus) is a social creature, and it seems my informant's friends have some issues with my interrogation/shopping technique.
>>
No. 503181 ID: d3bdc2
File 136484119925.png - (87.37KB , 600x500 , bikerstofight3.png )
503181

We have a little discussion about how eminent domain works in the new neumono territories. This isn't normally part of our space, of course, but fortunately I persuaded the Soranius Convention to agree that our borders extend at least two miles from my fists.

Anything else before I go gun hunting on my new hog?
>>
No. 503183 ID: eaa6fc

well, with the directions, to the gun shop!
those guns need liberating, and you're the badass to do it
>>
No. 503187 ID: d6ef5d

Start driving around indoors on the best bike you can. Because that's how you roll. Literally.

If there's no bike suitable to carry your glory, disassemble the bikes available and reassemble them into one of your own creation.

If there are any neumono left cowering around, do your super Queen thing and have them start building up the newest branch of the hyperhive.
>>
No. 503210 ID: e37529

find a group of henchmen watching a sports on a small crappy TV in a small crappy room to fight you. notice how they only lunge at you one at a time. then notice how they're all male. after you're done somehow knocking them all out with only one punch to one of the concussion-resistant spots on their bodies each, escape from their huge reinforcements (who just arrive as you knock out the last guy) on your bike while said reinforcements announce their presence and chase you around for some time before they start to fire at you, giving you ample time to start the bike up (which conveniently had the keys already in it). as they hit everything around you but not you, drive by something really explosive. when it inevitably explodes, completely ignore the shockwave and don't even look back at it while the henchmen, who were actually a lot further away from the explosion than you, are all incinerated or flung into the air. throw your cigarette on the road because during all of this you lit it and finished smoking it somehow without dropping or breaking it.
>>
No. 503275 ID: d3bdc2
File 136485344549.png - (81.18KB , 600x500 , scootscoot.png )
503275

>drive around indoors
>beat up henchmen
>ride away from explosions

Why don't you tell me to breathe, while you're at it?

I just need you to point out things I miss and to think of things I wouldn't think of myself. give me perspective on what I might not notice. But if there's nothing like that here, it's time to move on.
>>
No. 503276 ID: d3bdc2
File 136485348446.png - (193.34KB , 600x500 , bikeaway.png )
503276

It doesn't look like space bikers favour guns that much - I had to go through five crowbar, tire iron, lead pipe and serrated knife outlets before I found the gun shop - but I managed to pick myself up a rifle, and maybe teach people a lesson about greasy rags and piles of incendiary ammunition.

Time to head for the Zozus.
>>
No. 503277 ID: d3bdc2
File 136485351137.png - (195.14KB , 600x500 , bikemeetcar.png )
503277

But it looks like they might be coming to me, or at least sending me a welcome party. Not long on the road before I see a hovercar with their symbol on it speeding towards me. And not slowing down.

There are neumono in the car, but they feel... strange. One of them especially feels like some kinda crazy asshole.
>>
No. 503278 ID: d3bdc2
File 136485352727.png - (68.23KB , 600x500 , chickeeeeen.png )
503278

They want to play a game.
>>
No. 503279 ID: 67e8b2

>>503278
Cheat by driving over their hood while doing a wheelie, breaking the windshield and then ramping away.

Then maybe they explode or something?
>>
No. 503280 ID: d6ef5d

Is that a space ghostbusters-mobile?

Nobody beats you at chicken. Hell, it's not like a collision would even be a problem- explosions are your natural element.

Floor it, and chuck a grenade right before impact. Blow yourself a hole to drive / fly right through the car and punch Red right in the face.
>>
No. 503281 ID: 4a20fa

>>503279
This.
>>
No. 503283 ID: f2c20c

>>503275
Dammit we missed something EXACTLY LIKE THAT. Some jerk was hiding in a barrel. I will keep a closer look on things now.

>>503278
Strange? I suspect mind-control. We're dealing with salikai, after all. I suggest you cheat. Start sniping them as you drive, then board their vehicle. I don't know if you prefer to incapacitate or not. Do whatever.
>>
No. 503303 ID: 8c5153

jump over/into car
>>
No. 503309 ID: 78c6ea

Hiding in a barrel? Polokoa missing something? Don't speak crazy talk!

You never cheat even though you always win. Stare them down so hard their chicken car explodes.
>>
No. 503359 ID: d3bdc2
File 136486625661.png - (86.28KB , 600x500 , grenaaade.png )
503359

>chuck a grenade

Let's add a little spice to this chicken.
>>
No. 503360 ID: d3bdc2
File 136486628354.png - (89.05KB , 600x500 , jetjump.png )
503360

As soon as I throw, a gout of fire blasts from under the hovercar as they active the rocket jump. They've got good reflexes, whoever they are.

Well, I did want fun.
>>
No. 503361 ID: d3bdc2
File 136486631103.png - (121.46KB , 600x500 , splosion.png )
503361

The action's heating up.
>>
No. 503362 ID: d3bdc2
File 136486640794.png - (170.91KB , 600x500 , landoffbike.png )
503362

>>
No. 503363 ID: d3bdc2
File 136486642534.png - (210.42KB , 600x500 , landoffcar.png )
503363

>>
No. 503364 ID: d3bdc2
File 136486645174.png - (52.10KB , 600x500 , dramatic1.png )
503364

Who are these chuckleheads?
>>
No. 503365 ID: d3bdc2
File 136486654890.png - (54.92KB , 600x500 , dramaticred.png )
503365

"Queen bitch, huh? We're gonna have some good times!"
>>
No. 503369 ID: d6ef5d

Oh look, cocky little red is back from the dead.

He barely kept Rokoa busy for a minute in that poor you-less alternate universe we were spying on for fun. So he's no match for you.

Still, he's got a numerical advantage and spunk, so this might be interesting for a little bit.

Stop their bullets with your firsts, and spit new ones back out at them.
>>
No. 503371 ID: f2c20c

I don't think he understands what he's dealing with. Still, I wouldn't underestimate him. Wait, is he even wearing bioarmor?

Show him your warface.
>>
No. 503391 ID: 70debc
File 136487476763.png - (80.05KB , 600x500 , poloconsideringred.png )
503391

>is he even wearing bioarmour?

He is.

Actually, they all are. More than that, though, they don't seem affected by my empathy.

"Ha ha, don't know waht to think, do you? You think you can just roll on in and we'll all bend over for your giant imperialist cock? You don't even know what you're dealin' with, here!"
>>
No. 503392 ID: 70debc
File 136487479234.png - (83.20KB , 600x500 , red.png )
503392

"I'm Red, bitch! I'm top dog, go-to guy, I get shit done! And when that shit's too close to the fan, I got even more! I've got a team of fuckers sometimes almost as awesome as me!!"
>>
No. 503393 ID: 70debc
File 136487481494.png - (64.79KB , 600x500 , black.png )
503393

"Black!!"

"Yo."
>>
No. 503394 ID: 70debc
File 136487483576.png - (81.72KB , 600x500 , blue.png )
503394

"Blue!!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'm coming."
>>
No. 503395 ID: 70debc
File 136487485926.png - (89.95KB , 600x500 , pink.png )
503395

"Pink!!"

"I'm going to cut you open and wear you like a suit."
>>
No. 503397 ID: 70debc
File 136487495201.png - (85.69KB , 600x500 , yellow.png )
503397

"Yellow!!"

"I was a guy in the original."
>>
No. 503398 ID: 70debc
File 136487499238.png - (354.30KB , 600x500 , doffclothes.png )
503398

"And when we're out together, you call us...!"
>>
No. 503399 ID: 70debc
File 136487503034.png - (403.97KB , 800x600 , zozurangers.png )
503399

"Zozu Family Forces, Excessive Response Unit! Zozu Zero Squad!"
>>
No. 503400 ID: 70debc
File 136487505259.png - (49.09KB , 600x500 , polokoareacts.png )
503400

>>
No. 503401 ID: 76b151

this is only going to be a fair fight if they have a mech to go with the power ranger motif... and even then you win by sheer awesome compared to those dweebs.
>>
No. 503402 ID: f2c20c

>>503400
I want you to shoot them all in the face then set fire to their unconscious bodies. In a pile.
>>
No. 503403 ID: d6ef5d

...so could we get to the part where you guys summon your giant robots and transform together already? I'd like to skip the boring part of the fight.
>>
No. 503406 ID: 78c6ea

Fuck this, you're out.
>>
No. 503416 ID: 57a559

>>503400
They're all in a tightknit group pose, I suggest application of grenade launcher
>>
No. 503417 ID: d6ef5d

Worth noting is that Polokoa retains Polo's "what the hell is this shit" face.
>>
No. 503420 ID: 26e4bb

wait.
White/green/golden/superdoublesecretplatinum is missing.
They are a distraction.
>>
No. 503422 ID: 77b987

There is literally nothing you can do to these losers that is worse than the shame of being them.

This leaves us with just one question, do you take the time to administer mercy killings or do you leave them to wallow in the pit of misery that is there lives, after all you do have important things to do.
>>
No. 503424 ID: 001ee9

Slowly come to the realization that your species managed to produce such losers for anything besides child entertainment.

Then rectify the problem.
>>
No. 503425 ID: 70debc
File 136488014434.png - (96.90KB , 600x500 , polokoacrackknuckles.png )
503425

>...so could we get to the part where you guys summon your giant robots and transform together already?

I don't have any giant robots small enough to use on the Asteroid.

As for transforming...

Well.

Why not.

>White/green/golden/superdoublesecretplatinum is missing.

I know where they are.
>>
No. 503426 ID: 70debc
File 136488016776.png - (2.38KB , 600x500 , dark.png )
503426

"Fuck, who turned out the lights!?"
>>
No. 503427 ID: 70debc
Audio slamaway.mp3 - (4.03MB - 128 kbps - 22.05 kHz ) Length: 4:24
503427

>>
No. 503428 ID: 70debc
File 136488029477.png - (313.84KB , 600x600 , polokoahenshin1.png )
503428

Hear!

Riding the blade's edge on the curve of possibility -
One step from the void, where possible meets impossible!

>>
No. 503429 ID: 70debc
File 136488032120.png - (309.85KB , 600x600 , polokoahenshin2.png )
503429

Two voices, risen from the chorus of anarchy, join into the same song!!
>>
No. 503430 ID: 70debc
File 136488035177.png - (476.63KB , 600x600 , polokoahenshin3.png )
503430

From one edge to the other, two ends forced together compress the multitude into one!!!
>>
No. 503431 ID: 70debc
File 136488038472.png - (247.75KB , 600x600 , polokoahenshin4.png )
503431

Quake, oh planets!
>>
No. 503432 ID: 70debc
File 136488041104.png - (360.06KB , 600x600 , polokoahenshin5.png )
503432

Shake, you stars!
>>
No. 503433 ID: 70debc
File 136488044137.png - (425.27KB , 600x600 , polokoahenshin6.png )
503433

The minds of the cosmos reel to behold what could be, should not, but is!!
>>
No. 503434 ID: 70debc
File 136488046775.png - (293.38KB , 600x600 , polokoahenshin7.png )
503434

I am the illusion that is justice!

I am the delusion that is honor!

>>
No. 503435 ID: 70debc
File 136488049801.png - (214.25KB , 600x600 , polokoahenshin8.png )
503435

Mercy! Freedom! Righteousness!! Compassion!!

I exist to turn fantasy into truth!!

>>
No. 503436 ID: 70debc
File 136488054643.png - (276.09KB , 600x600 , polokoahenshin9.png )
503436

I am the paragon of law and chaos both!

I am Polokoa!!

>>
No. 503437 ID: 70debc
File 136488056827.png - (191.14KB , 600x600 , polokoahenshin10.png )
503437

>>
No. 503438 ID: 78c6ea

What... percentage is that bioarmor...
>>
No. 503439 ID: 207b58

im crying
this is beautiful
>>
No. 503440 ID: 001ee9

Yes.
>>
No. 503441 ID: d6ef5d

...actually, what I meant was for you to ask them to summon their giant robots so we'd have a semblance of a fair or interesting fight.

But what the fuck, I'll take an incredibly gorgeous transformation sequence too.
>>
No. 503442 ID: bf54a8

... woah.
>>
No. 503446 ID: f2c20c

>>503437
Fantastic. I sure hope those are laser blasters in your palms. You want some fun? Let's have some fun! Avoid using them for as long as possible.

...hey hang on, is that a Jetalium-reinforced biosuit?
>>
No. 503450 ID: 78c6ea

>>503446

What-ium? Not even the entertainment industry has heard of that stuff.
>>
No. 503458 ID: b7169d

T..tears being shed, that was so beautiful.
>>
No. 503467 ID: 76b151

i... love you. tears of joy here.
>>
No. 503470 ID: 76b151

>>503450
Jetalium is living metal from UnSe.
>>
No. 503473 ID: 70debc
File 136488662992.png - (146.10KB , 600x500 , faceoff1.png )
503473

>What... percentage is that bioarmor...
>is that a Jetalium-reinforced biosuit?

It's a protojetalium neurosuit. Experimental. The science hives like studying me. Came up with some... interesting things.

One feature is that it's supposed to let me amplify my empathy. Theoretically, no functioning neumono should be able to fight me in this, if I don't want them to. These guys, though... I think I understand these guys.
>>
No. 503474 ID: 70debc
File 136488666134.png - (80.34KB , 600x500 , faceoff2.png )
503474

They're all nuts.
>>
No. 503475 ID: 70debc
File 136488668179.png - (133.77KB , 700x500 , faceoff3.png )
503475

>>
No. 503476 ID: 70debc
File 136488679442.png - (448.37KB , 700x650 , tbc.png )
503476

"Wait... this is the original."

"Yellow, I'm trying to be fuckin' dramatic, here."
>>
No. 503485 ID: eaa6fc

oh god, I need to see more D:
>>
No. 503491 ID: e37529

this asteroid is fucked.
>>
No. 503494 ID: d6ef5d

Yellow seems to have memory or gender identity issues, there.

But yes, nuts seems the appropriate classification for these guys. Let's see if we can fix them with some fistoshock therapy (it works like electroshock. Except with punching).
>>
No. 504157 ID: ff13f6
File 136523883241.png - (189.37KB , 600x500 , redyakkin.png )
504157

"You think your pretty princess fashion show's gonna scare us? I'd tell you to give up and shove off, but we all know you ain't, so come on and let me hand you your own ass before I-"

"Seriously, Red, what am I???"
>>
No. 504158 ID: ff13f6
File 136523887403.png - (211.64KB , 600x500 , redyakkin2.png )
504158

"You're a messed-up freak, Yellow, now shut up with your quantum hermaphrodite bullshit and get ready to fuckin' fight."

"Uh, fighting wasn't what we were told, Red."

"Yeah, man! Remember, Pappa Z pulled us all in, and he said-"

"I know! I know, c'mon. But look at her! She's like, final boss, here! I'll get a fuckin' achievement for this bitch. I can-"
>>
No. 504159 ID: ff13f6
File 136523890184.png - (95.87KB , 600x500 , redandpink.png )
504159

"Red."

"Oh, Pink, hey..."

"Are you being insensitive to the fairer sex again, Red?"

"Ha haaaah you know I'd never do that in front of you, Pink!"

"That's good, Red. Do you know how hard it is to sew someone's head back on after you've used their neck as-"

"I remember, Pink."
>>
No. 504160 ID: ff13f6
File 136523893058.png - (64.68KB , 600x500 , ellipsesx2combo.png )
504160

"So long as you do remember."

"It's forgetting that's the hard part, you hasbro-ass psycho broad."

"Come on man, this'll be fun. Here. Let's get the party started."

"Yeah, sure. Better'n nothing."
>>
No. 504161 ID: ff13f6
File 136523896819.png - (116.25KB , 600x500 , thechallenge.png )
504161

"Alright, your royal chimera freak majesty! We aren't here to fight. We're here to offer you a little contest. You win you go on, you lose you fuck off!"
>>
No. 504162 ID: ff13f6
File 136523899068.png - (135.72KB , 600x500 , comeonandslamifyouwannajam.png )
504162

"Of course, you could always refuse, huh?"
>>
No. 504166 ID: f2c20c

>>504162
I expect the Polo side of you would like to shoot a blast straight through that ball and both of their heads, then drive away with a bunch of bleeding bodies behind you. Challenge be damned, this is a mission.

Wait. I guess you'd have to walk. Both vehicles done blowed up.

The Rokoa side of you would never back down from a challenge.

The AWESOME side of you would kill them all by doing a chaos dunk.
>>
No. 504169 ID: 001ee9

Chaos Dunk? Nah.

Go for a Mega Chaos Dunk.
>>
No. 504176 ID: 76b151

You got into your experimental armor for a basketball game?

Please tell me they are joking.
>>
No. 504178 ID: eaa6fc

red and pink seem like a match made in heaven...
and yesss, you can win this, maybe use some psychobabble to make yellow join sides, & convince black he's "too cool and this "game" is below him" leaving them with just 3
>>
No. 504182 ID: 78c6ea

CHAOS DUNK
>>
No. 504183 ID: 9e1727

...Oh, Zozu, you bastard... He knows you won't ever refuse a challenge. That's why he sent out the Technicolor Clown Squad to issue this ridiculous challenge; It's a delaying tactic. Right now he's enacting his escape plan, just like the salikai he is. And you know what the galling thing is? You're still going to accept the challenge.

Alright, lets get this farce over with quick.

>>504169
...Please, could we do this without blowing up the planetoid we're standing on? Again. It was fun the first time, but now it's just getting old.
>>
No. 504184 ID: 67e8b2

CHAOS DUNK
>>
No. 504189 ID: 2f4b71

Well, if you can get that basketball going at sufficient velocity...
http://what-if.xkcd.com/1/
>>
No. 504194 ID: ff9c52

KILL THESE CHUMPS ALREADY
>>
No. 504201 ID: 588b49

Red, Shut Up and Jam Gaiden
>>
No. 504205 ID: d6ef5d

Reform your jetalium armor into a basketball uniform- complete with outrageous fro.

Then take these guys in a 5 on 1 game without even trying. If you need teammate- rather, if teammates would make it more awesome, just use explosions in their stead. Don't ask me how an explosion is supposed to dribble, I'm sure you can shape a charge to do that on the fly.

>Chaos Dunk
Law and chaos dunk. You heard her transformation lyrics- she's both. Alignment: Lawful Chaotic.
>>
No. 504221 ID: ff13f6
File 136526469297.png - (73.17KB , 600x500 , statscreen.png )
504221

>challenge be damned, this is a mission
>tell me they are joking
>KILL THESE CHUMPS ALREADY

Unfortunately, I don't have enough POLO POINTS to activate my Level Four Polotech: Fuck This I'm Out. I can't use it until I shifts my CHIMERA METER Polowards. I'll have to accept the challenge.

>CHAOS DUNK

Are you crazy? I'd like to keep this asteroid intact, thanks. Rokoa should have never learned such a forbidden technique in the first place.

Besides, I can't use it unless I'm in MAXIMUM ROKOVERDRIVE.
>>
No. 504222 ID: ff13f6
File 136526471423.png - (204.25KB , 600x500 , callforcourt1.png )
504222

>yess, you can win this
>lets get this farce over with quick
>Shut Up and Jam

"Hey, ship. Protocol 4. Give me a drop."
>>
No. 504223 ID: ff13f6
File 136526473191.png - (202.65KB , 600x500 , callforcourt2.png )
504223

"Thanks."

"Convenient!"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go!"
>>
No. 504224 ID: ff13f6
File 136526475523.png - (352.99KB , 600x500 , letsgetstarted.png )
504224

>Red seizes the initiative!

>GAME START!!
>>
No. 504225 ID: ff13f6
File 136526477782.png - (174.44KB , 900x600 , spacejam1.png )
504225

>It's time for the Space Jam!!

>Polokoa's Stats:
>SHOOT - 7 +4
>DUNK - 8 +4
>JAM - 7 +4
>SPEED - 5 +4

>SHOOT measures ability to land shots and to make ranged attacks using the ball or smaller players. DUNK measures dunking, general jumping and melee attacks. JAM represents the ability to capture the ball or to avoid having the ball stolen. SPEED sets turn order and movement range - diagonal movement counts as 1.5 squares.

>All actions except movement speed have a random element! Roll 2d6 / 2 and add to stats! As a Heroic Protagonist, Polokoa rounds her fractions upwards.

>Use creative tactics to find hidden Bonuses!!
>>
No. 504227 ID: bdb3f8

rolled 6, 1 = 7

Jump on red's head to achieve greater height and reach the ball first.
>>
No. 504229 ID: d6ef5d

rolled 3, 4 = 7

>>504221
Oh gods this quest just gets more amazing every time I look at it.

>SPACE JAM
Move forward, grab red, dribble him and then pass him hard at the last minute towards pink and yellow with lose cannon as you catch the ball. Jam past the two remaining opposing players as they try to intercept, jump on top of the red/pink/yellow pile, and then make a sniper-shot dunk that ends with you perched on top of the backboard with an explosion in the background.
>>
No. 504232 ID: eaa6fc

jump & slam the ball downwards so it slams off one of their faces back to you, risky but it could give you an opening chance to immidiatly go left or right when you land & catch the ball as it returns
>>
No. 504237 ID: ff9c52

>>504225
basketball is boring. use RED as a baseball bat instead.
Jukashi i love you so much
>>
No. 504264 ID: b7169d

Red will likely be all up in our grill, so we gotta use tactics.

Confuse yellow even further about his Quantam sex shifting self. State that he's potentially been a robot companion instead of either sex.

Pink is Fury, unlike red she'll likely attempt to swipe, avoid her flank.

Blue's too lethargic to care, blacks to cool to care. So black will try something but his cool-meter will not succeed compared to yours.
>>
No. 504267 ID: d6ef5d

Also: there's 5 of them. We could play horse. Every time you score, pick up one of them and twist them into the shape of the appropriate letter.
>>
No. 504272 ID: 2df574

use determinatrix.
>>
No. 504288 ID: f2c20c

>>504221
What the hell does Friendship Beam even do?!
>>
No. 504320 ID: ff13f6
File 136530134298.png - (93.71KB , 600x500 , redtackles.png )
504320

>Jump on red's head
>grab red
>use RED as a baseball bat

>JAM roll: 4 + 7 + 4 = 15
>COUNTERJAM: 6 + 6 + 2 = 14
>Success! Polokoa grapples Red and-

>Interrupt! Red employs Level Two Redtech: Personal Space Invader!
>Red will remain all up in Polokoa's grill for the rest of the turn.
>>
No. 504321 ID: ff13f6
File 136530136420.png - (153.71KB , 600x500 , fastballspecial1.png )
504321

>Pink and Black activate Teamwork Power: Yellow Cannon!
>>
No. 504322 ID: ff13f6
File 136530139419.png - (79.40KB , 600x500 , fastballspecial2.png )
504322

I'd say this lot are more cunning than they look, but they'd have to be.
>>
No. 504323 ID: ff13f6
File 136530145731.png - (172.37KB , 900x600 , spacejam2.png )
504323

>Turn 2

>use determinatrix

I don't use Determinatrix, it activates automatically when I need it.

>What the hell does Friendship Beam even do?!

Friendship Beam? What Friendship Beam? You're seeing things. You must be crazy. Polo saw no mention of anything involving either of those words, you crazy person. Stop talking.

Rokoa is laughing.
>>
No. 504324 ID: 76b151

You know how Rokoa dealt with red last universe? She body slammed him. So do that. Then intercept and dunk yellow. Maybe dribble him\her while on the way to the basket.
>>
No. 504325 ID: d6ef5d

rolled 3, 6 = 9

>what do?
>>504324 This sounds good. Use loose cannon slam red towards the teamwork twins, then rush yellow, ball him/her up in a frightened ball around the ball, and use sniper shoot to make the 3 point shot.

>>504288
Obviously we'll need a POLOVERDRIVE to find out.

...although from the sounds of it, we shouldn't poke the gestalt too much unless we want it to break down.
>>
No. 504326 ID: f2c20c

rolled 4, 1 = 5

>>504323
Tell Yellow he plays like a girl.

Dash away from Red and do a sweep on Yellow to steal the ball as he's distracted.
>>
No. 504327 ID: f2c20c

>>504323
Oh, and could you inform us as to what Rip N Tear, Loose Cannon, and Huge Guts do? I expect Silent and Deadly is the ability to go silent and also use stealth, and Sniper Shot is obvious.

I suspect Rip N Tear is a melee combat bonus and Huge Guts is an endurance bonus.
>>
No. 504338 ID: 2df574

either Sniper Shot or Loose Cannon Red into Yellow.
>>
No. 504345 ID: bef086

>>504323
Realize there was neither a time nor score limit set. There are no winning conditions. They're stalling you.
>>
No. 504507 ID: d6ef5d

>>504345
>No rules / terms
Don't worry, referee Itcher (and cheerleader Jess!) will show up to clear up those issues when they arise.
>>
No. 504561 ID: 4617f4
File 136542505674.png - (85.54KB , 600x500 , shopkeepexplains.png )
504561

>>504345
>Realize there was neither a time nor score limit set. There are no winning conditions.

Sorry, this should have been covered already! The Space Jam, being a sacred method of resolving disputes across the stars, has a set of default rules that always apply unless specified otherwise. In a situation like this, a "who wins" and not a show match, the winner is decided simply by best out of three baskets - or first to render the opposing team incapable of playing. It's not exactly like human basketball; although players aren't allowed to try to kill or seriously damage their opponents, they are allowed to trip, pin, stun or otherwise disable them, and this becomes even more permissive with neumono players. There are other differences, as well, obviously.

Another minor point: the JAM stat is used for grappling, or anything that involves taking hold of something and controlling it. DUNK is used for strikes, like punching or kicking, and for things like leg sweeps. That was supposed to be clearer!

>could you inform us as to what Rip N Tear, Loose Cannon, and Huge Guts do?

As you guess, Huge Guts is a bonus to physical endurance and damage soaking, and Rip And Tear is a melee combat bonus. Loose Cannon is a balance to Sniper Shot, the former being a bonus to ramboesque carnage and overall damage, while the latter is for more precision and single-target damage.

However, these abilities cover a lot of ground! They're not just physical, but social and mental as well. Loose Cannon, for example, can also give a bonus to ignore authority or to brutalize criminals, or Huge Guts to overcoming fear. Of course, so does Determinatrix, Fuck That I'm In and P-p-p-poker Face, so...

... er, well, let's just say Polokoa doesn't really have any problems being afraid of anything.

Just so you're informed, Polokoa's CHIMERA METER shifts in either direction when you use enough of one side or the other's techniques. The more POLOTECHS you use, say, the more it moves polowards, giving you more from Polo and less from Rokoa. But when you're not balanced, the side not being used slowly builds up stress. Eventually, the pressure will reach critical and Polokoa will go into DOUBLE OVERDRIVE, allowing her to use all her techniques! It only lasts a short time, however, after which she'll become totally rebalanced and lose some of her ability to use higher techniques. She'll recover over time, though.

Hope that all helps!
>>
No. 504565 ID: 9747ef

... Is that Glitcher?

Anyway, use Silent and Deadly to slip away from red, then go to Yellow and steal the ball back.
>>
No. 504568 ID: b6178d

>>504320

Hahahaaa!

He's in your space and will be for the turn, but that won't help him.

It's TIME FOR TANGO. Dance Red down to Yellow, take aim and DUNK him with Red. DUNK HIM GOOD.
>>
No. 504569 ID: d6ef5d

Idea. If that neurosuit is jetalium based, doesn't that mean the shape and structure is mutable? If red tries to grapple us again we could just sprout a bunch of spikes or something.

>... Is that Glitcher?
>shopkeepexplains.png

:V
>>
No. 504578 ID: ff9c52

>>504561
define "seriously damage". breaking a limb or two is ok, right? he's touching you here, ew.
seriously though, trip yellow using red.
>>
No. 504604 ID: 077cef
File 136545253109.png - (270.44KB , 600x500 , toss1.png )
504604

Since we don't want Yellow scoring...

>Grapple maintenance
>JAM: 5 + 7 + 4 = 16
>COUNTERJAM: 2 + 6 + 2: 10
>>
No. 504605 ID: 077cef
File 136545259669.png - (94.51KB , 600x500 , collision.png )
504605

>SHOOT: 3 + 7 + 4 = 14
>Bonus! Level One Rokotech: Loose Cannon

>Polokoa's CHIMERA METER is shading toward Rokoa! She loses Poker Face and gains Fuck That I'm In. This ability enhances her capacity to do things that a sane person probably would not.
>>
No. 504606 ID: 077cef
File 136545270780.png - (174.70KB , 900x600 , spacejam3.png )
504606

>Turn 3

>Yellow is knocked prone.
>Yellow is stunned!
>Red is knocked prone.

That'll put Red out for a turn, and Yellow for one or two more.

>If that neurosuit is jetalium based, doesn't that mean the shape and structure is mutable?

It can, but the suit's linked to my vital functions, so its mutability depends on my physical and emotional state. That's why putting it on needs the music and the speech. To make weapons out of it, I need to be particularly stressed or angry, or similarly emotional. Although, shouting weird names for whatever it is I'm trying to make seems to help.

I think the rest of these goons are going to try something.

Victory by team wipe is starting to look very attractive.

>breaking a limb or two is ok, right?

So long as it doesn't look like I'm deliberately trying to.
>>
No. 504611 ID: d6ef5d

rolled 4, 4 = 8

I think our next move should be to take possession of the ball.

Bum rush right past/through blue to do that. (Not sure if Rip and Tear or Huge guts would help with that?). Then if we get the ball, you can take a sniper shot at the basket.

>enhances her capacity to do things that a sane person probably would not
Considering the number of suicide missions Polo has accepted, I'm not sure why that's a Rokoa exclusive ability. ...I guess the difference is Polo pretends she has good reason for doing crazy things, while Rokoa just does them?
>>
No. 504613 ID: ff9c52

>>504606
punch pink so hard only her head is left sticking out of the ground.

btw, what happens when someone is thrown steps out of the area?
>>
No. 504615 ID: b7169d

Rokoa fought fair in a battle that could have costed her, her life. She does things Polo would never do in such combat situations/
>>
No. 504618 ID: b6178d

Well, you're outnumbered here, so obviously you need to put the honky on the tonky.

Seriously. DUNK Black and force him into honking Pink's tonky. Or hoolah her woolah. Or smooch the pooch.

If you get my drift.
>>
No. 504637 ID: f2c20c

rolled 3, 3 = 6

Apply violence to Pink.
>>
No. 504809 ID: a2310a

that ball is too close to the wrong hoop. rush it. blue will probably do so too. feel free to trample his ass on your way if he gets in your way.
>>
No. 505546 ID: 847265
File 136588294040.png - (78.17KB , 600x500 , grabpink.png )
505546

>honking Pink's tonky
>hoolah her woolah
>smooch the pooch

I don't even have a skateboard with me today.

>Apply violence to Pink
>that ball is too close to the wrong hoop

I have an idea.

>JAM: 4 + 7 + 4: 15
>COUNTERJAM: 4 + 5 + 2: 11
>Bonus! Level Three Rokotech: Rip And Tear
>>
No. 505547 ID: 847265
File 136588298197.png - (140.66KB , 600x500 , squish.png )
505547

"HUAARGH!!"
"PwOOF!"
>>
No. 505548 ID: 847265
File 136588302633.png - (254.30KB , 600x500 , slamdunkan.png )
505548

>DUNK: 3 + 8 + 4: 15
>>
No. 505549 ID: 847265
File 136588311980.png - (262.95KB , 600x500 , slamdunkan2.png )
505549

Now they can't score.
>>
No. 505550 ID: 847265
File 136588314045.png - (151.88KB , 600x500 , blackandbluenotwantingtobebeatenblackandblue.png )
505550

>>
No. 505551 ID: 847265
File 136588316086.png - (159.31KB , 600x500 , blackandbluenotwantingtobebeatenblackandblue2.png )
505551

>>
No. 505552 ID: 847265
File 136588325371.png - (162.51KB , 900x600 , spacejam4.png )
505552

>Turn 4

>Red is stunned!
>Yellow is re-stunned!

>Polokoa's CHIMERA METER shades to maximum ROKOVERDRIVE! She loses Silent and Deadly and gains Chaos Dunk!!
>Polokoa is rapidly building POLO PRESSURE!

I'm beginning to enjoy this too much.

Or possibly not enough.
>>
No. 505555 ID: bbf245

rolled 3, 5 = 8

JAM: Ask Black to pass you the ball: "Yo, ball here."
DUNK: Failing that, ask Black's unconcious body to pass you the ball.
>>
No. 505557 ID: d6ef5d

rolled 3, 3 = 6

All right!

Now, we can't use chaos dunk, because that will destroy the asteroid. And while that might be awesome, we can't end the quest so soon. So instead, let's hold onto that ROKOVERDRIVE until it pisses Polo off enough to push us into DOUBLE OVERDRIVE. Then we can subdue / convert them all with friendship beam.

...more immediately, intimidate them into giving you possession of the ball (or just walk up an take it, just daring them to resist). Then shoot.
>>
No. 505559 ID: d6ef5d

>>505557
Said daring should be done while walking slowly towards him, with the maximum ROKOVERDRIVE slasher smile engaged.
>>
No. 505561 ID: cee89f

>>505559
And in as creepy/cheery a voice as possible. It'll help push the slasher angle.
>>
No. 505567 ID: 4c45e6

go after the ball while shouting HARGARBLGRGHH
>>
No. 505584 ID: f2c20c

rolled 3, 4 = 7

>>505557
But I don't wanna be friends with Red! Or Pink. Maybe just Black. Blue seems too much like a wet blanket, and Yellow is just weird. I bet Black is irritating in his own way we haven't seen, though.

I'd rather we just beat the crap out of the lot of them, or quickly do some super awesome dunks/trickshots to score 3 points, though the trickshots will have to wait until Double Overdrive activates and we get Sniper Shot available again.

>>505552
Rush towards black and steal the ball from him. Then do a sweet backwards dunk.
>>
No. 505590 ID: 9e1727

rolled 4, 2 = 6

I suspect Blue and Black are going to try and play keep away until their teammates recover. They'd probably fail, but keep them from even trying in the first place.

Scoop up Red (while stepping on Yellow again) and Sniper Shot him right into Blue. This'll either leave Black with nobody to pass the ball to, or him passing the ball to Blue who's in no state to catch it. Then charge Black if he still has the ball and gain possession, or run after the ball if it goes wild.

What do the Space Jam rules say about situations where the ball leaves the court under various circumstances?

Also, you didn't turn on your empathic block at the start of the game, did you? I assume not, since I figure that Space Jam rules on neumono empathic links have been amended by now to state that all neumono playing have to have full bi-directional links, unless otherwise agreed upon before the match. Otherwise the team with the upper hand automatically forfeits the match. So it'd be jammers all around, or nothing at all.
>>
No. 505591 ID: f2c20c

Oh. We still have Sniper Shot. I wanna snipe that hoop!
>>
No. 505657 ID: a56a0a

>>505591
well i want to chaos dunk that hoop.
>>
No. 505662 ID: 2025a1

>>505657

that would probably kill everything in a five-mile radius and cause basketball to be outlawed.
>>
No. 505666 ID: 4093ff

>>505662
i don't see the problem, basketball is boring anyhow
>>
No. 505670 ID: 997ce7

>>505657
Well I don't want to.

Snipe that hoop.
>>
No. 505674 ID: d6ef5d

The one reason I could think of not to snipe the hoop is if using a Polo power pushes us down from our ROKOVERDRIVE. Because I wanna see the double overdrive!

>>505584
>But I don't wanna be friends with...
We could always use them as cannon fodder. :V
>>
No. 505693 ID: cee89f

>>505666
It would also blow up the asteroid. See here:
>>504221
>>
No. 505696 ID: eaa6fc

look, we should save chaosdunk for the final boss, for now we should use wit, cunning, intelligence & balls to the wall style & mayhem.

also get that ball.
>>
No. 506950 ID: c44712
File 136650699832.png - (128.49KB , 600x500 , politerequest1.png )
506950

>Ask Black to pass you the ball

"Uh, well, I don't thi-"
>>
No. 506951 ID: c44712
File 136650702448.png - (116.78KB , 600x500 , politerequest2.png )
506951

>ask Black's unconscious body to pass you the ball

>DUNK: 4 + 8 + 4 = 16
>Bonus! Level Three Rokotech: Rip And Tear
>>
No. 506953 ID: c44712
File 136650706043.png - (92.92KB , 600x500 , consideroptions.png )
506953

>snipe that hoop!
>Snipe that hoop.

I could.

>dunk

Or...

>chaos dunk
>that would probably kill everything
>It would also blow up the asteroid

I probably shouldn't.

So...
>>
No. 506954 ID: c44712
File 136650710159.png - (333.46KB , 600x600 , doubleoverdrive1.png )
506954

>Level Four Rokotech: Fuck That I'm In
>POLO PRESSURE reaches maximum!!
>DOUBLE OVERDRIVE!!!

... I won't.

>Polokoa regains all of her Polotechs!

>Polokoa gains access to her Doubletechs!!
>>
No. 506955 ID: c44712
File 136650713810.png - (244.00KB , 600x600 , doubleoverdrive2.png )
506955

I'll do something better.

>HYPER COMBO DOUBLETECH:
>>
No. 506956 ID: c44712
File 136650717022.png - (340.05KB , 600x600 , doubleoverdrive3.png )
506956

ANARCHY
>>
No. 506960 ID: c44712
File 136650720533.png - (491.76KB , 700x700 , doubleoverdrive4.png )
506960

FRIENDSHIP
>>
No. 506961 ID: c44712
File 136650722684.png - (120.66KB , 700x600 , doubleoverdrive5.png )
506961

DUNK!!!!!!
>>
No. 506962 ID: c44712
File 136650728124.png - (271.00KB , 700x600 , doubleoverdrive6.png )
506962

>>
No. 506963 ID: c44712
File 136650730756.png - (92.08KB , 600x500 , doubleoverdrive7.png )
506963

>>
No. 506964 ID: c44712
File 136650733629.png - (42.47KB , 600x500 , doubleoverdrive8.png )
506964

"Father. The neumono-"

"Unconscious?"

"... All of them."

"So the jammers did nothing. I can smell the smoke from here. Get rid of them, then. Gently. It's no fault of theirs. Do you feel that? Like a warm tingle down your spine?"

"Just... barely, yes."

"This is the power that conquered our home world. I suppose we should be grateful that that's all we receive of it. At least, until she arrives herself. Are the preparations made?"

"... Yes. But we're not sure-"

"I will deal with her myself. None of you are to get any ideas."

"... I'll... pass it on."
>>
No. 506965 ID: c44712
File 136650736319.png - (4.03KB , 600x500 , doubleoverdrive9.png )
506965

>>
No. 506966 ID: c44712
File 136650738876.png - (75.50KB , 600x500 , doubleoverdrive10.png )
506966

BAM

"This the place?"

"Uhm... yes."

"Any surprises?"

"Not... that I know of."

"Fine. If you think of something helpful, tell me. Don't get in my way."

"Yeah... sure..."

This fruit salad gang's going to be a bit dopey for a while, but they might be useful, still. This, they tell me, is one of the entrances to the main seat for the Zozus, and from what they tell me, the delay they were sent to drop on me wasn't to let the head honchos escape, but to make preparations for my visit. Who knows if they were told the truth, though. The place looks pretty deserted. I find it hard to believe they'll try fight me; this suit practically needs a tank to get through it, and everyone knows it by now.

Any thoughts on how I should be going?
>>
No. 506969 ID: 3686b0

There are no words.

None, at all.
>>
No. 506971 ID: 57a559

>>506966
No!
Your awesome power output was too out of control!
It'll impregnate every female on this asteroid! And some of the men! Everyone at ground zero will probably have twins!

Just... I don't know. Man walk forward and stare down opposition, and when that doesn't work, punch 'em in the face, and when that doesn't work, maul them with an explosive round. Or two.
>>
No. 506972 ID: d6ef5d

>>506954
...you unlocked your ultimate double overdrive technique by using another technique to chose to do yet another technique you then didn't do. That is some masterful doublethink. (Although, it makes perfect sense for a double person).

>>506960
Double tech!

>>506964
...goodness, even the non-neumono can feel her.

>thoughts on how I should be going?
Well, they'll probably have some way to fight you. Maybe even neutralize the suit. That's the kind of bullshit that happens in a story, right? You get to the big bad boss and lose access to all the stuff that would make it easy.

But heck, it's not like we know anything about what they got waiting. Nowhere to go but forward.
>>
No. 506980 ID: f2c20c

>>506966
Hey, what are we going to do to the salikai once we find them? Is this an extermination mission?

I don't suppose we can just go through walls, can we? Foil whatever plans they have by taking an unexpected route.
>>
No. 506994 ID: 522afb

This thread is the best thing in my life right now.

We should go in quiet but deadly. No knowing what they've cooked up in case of you.
>>
No. 507009 ID: cee89f

You are the boss. So enter that building like a BAWS! Knock down everything in your way like a bowling ball attached to a steamroller shot out of a cannon being thrown long in a game of cannon tossing between mountain giants on a low-gravity world!!!

(On a less insane/jokey note, i love the artwork right at the dunk. I dunno if it was intentional, but to me Polokoa's snarl looks like a mix between Rokoa's toothy grin and Polo's roar.)

>>506971
NO YOU FOOL DON'T MENTION KIDS! O_O
>>
No. 507020 ID: bb8b13

obviously use the idiots to spring the traps the other idiots prepared

jukashi I'm going to get fired, i can't stop laughing! it's been hours what did you do??
>>
No. 507029 ID: caa5bf

enter it like a ninja.
>>
No. 507150 ID: 915d25

Demand everyone in the facility march themselves out to receive there asswooping in a timely manner.
If you have to come looking for them things will get... interesting.
>>
No. 507161 ID: eaa6fc

enter, calmly & straight forward.
but have the rainbow brigade equipped with instruments to play a loud marching anthem as you walk.
>>
No. 507170 ID: 256d52

They already know you're coming, so the last thing they'll suspect is a sneaking mission!
>>
No. 507973 ID: 8b318c
File 136712932640.png - (87.49KB , 600x500 , pkarequestsmap.png )
507973

>Hey, what are we going to do to the salikai once we find them? Is this an extermination mission?

Oh, no. Almost the opposite, actually.

When I... woke up... it was a hard time for me. For us. Me. Two very different people suddenly one, and while they'd been asleep, the larger portion of both their hives has been wiped out. It hurt, and I was horribly confused, and had to juggle the science hivers still trying to keep me alive and hidden until I was fixed up. I had to learn to sneak like Polo in a body the size of Rokoa's, with half of it still not working. But mostly, I was mad. So angry. Too much anger for the salikai. I had to spread it, back, to whoever had made those salikai the way they were to do such things. Back to whoever had made them do that. And back, and back, just so much sheer rage that only the entire history of our planet could hold it all. Polo and Rokoa's lives were both perfectly real to me, but I felt detached from them, as well. The whole thing - the relationships between all the different races of our world, all the grudges and revenge, carrying on conflicts that had started with some primitive rock-chewers squabbling over dirty water and hunks of meat.

It was so fucking stupid.

All those aliens, from entirely different worlds, able to get on with each other. And do you know how much advancement has come from the meeting of different cultures, different species, meeting minds and trading ideas? Try most of it. Some ancient guys invent a steam engine but it's no good for anything but party tricks. Centuries later another bunch learn how to make really good metal. Some dude takes a book from the first guys and lugs it across a continent to the second, and bam, industrial revolution. Some guys take a domesticated riding animal of theirs across an ocean, show them to the natives, not a decade later those natives are the best riders in the world and have conquered half their neighbors. But does that happen with us? No. Because we're a bunch of whiny idiots. And I've got the whole salikai operation there, riddled with incompetence, and still showing how much we could do if we could just restrain ourselves enough to team up for two fucking minutes. We're all living creatures, flesh and blood, we can grow, evolve, become different, better. We could be so strong. But we were pathetic. All of us. Born from the same ocean, the same codes written in our blood, and the most successful species on the whole planet can't even keep from murdering themselves.

So I decided I wasn't going to put up with this bullshit any more.

They said I'd gone crazy while I was asleep.

But if you'd said two neumono like Polo and Rokoa could be stitched together into a chimera like me, you'd have been called crazy then, too.

So I'm here to make an offer to these salikai, of a proper place in society. An offer they can't refuse.

>enter it like a ninja
>quiet but deadly
>the last thing they'll suspect is a sneaking mission

Yeah. But best if you know where you're going for that sort of thing. See if you can pick up any wireless signals, will you? And get me a map.

>"you got it, boss!"
>>
No. 507974 ID: 8b318c
File 136712940143.png - (8.13KB , 600x600 , hqmap.png )
507974

>"This whole place has gone quiet!"
>"it's kinda creepy"
>"Redirecting hug capacitors."
>"Most of the system here is locked down, but here's a rough structural outline of the different floors. This is as far as we can get, but there could be more further down. Looks like they want to keep people away from whatever's down there."
>"Not ominous at all!"

The rainbow crew feel surprised that the place has been so thoroughly abandoned. This isn't what they expected the place would be like.

>"There's two places with wireless traffic, one at a defensive location that's double encrypted and sporadic, on odd frequencies, like they're trying to keep it quiet that they're there. The other further down isn't doing any hiding, and the activity level seems a regular pace of communication, like it could be someone just going about their normal business."

That first spot looks like an ambush of some sort. If I'm in ninja mode, I guess I'd best go around.
>>
No. 507975 ID: 8b318c
File 136712948095.png - (84.70KB , 600x500 , takethatglassceiling.png )
507975

>I don't suppose we can just go through walls, can we?

Passé.

Floors are the new walls.

Straight down?
>>
No. 507976 ID: f2c20c

>>507975
Straight down sounds good. Stop at the floor right above the ambush to get a better idea of what we should expect.

Optimally we would drop down behind them and block the exit out of the room they're in, then continue on.
>>
No. 507980 ID: ff24ac

>>507974
if anything the second one sounds like the trap. actually, they could both be traps.
>>
No. 507986 ID: 7e1b7f

there are elevator shafts you can use to descend more quickly, in case you're opposed to bruised knuckles.
>>
No. 508007 ID: d6ef5d

Ah. I see. You were so mad at it all you declared war on war. And started forcing the rest of the world to realize just how good team ups could be.

>where go?
Honestly, there's no way to be sure that the open one isn't a trap, or that the hiding one isn't a trap trying to pretend to not be a trap.

Therefore, just head strait down. We'll hit everything in a row- one two three.
>>
No. 508062 ID: 9e1727

Hey, you haven't had a bite to eat since crashing on this rock, have you? Perhaps a detour to raid the nearest break room fridge for a quick snack is in order. After all, it's not like Father Zozu is going anywhere. There's no urgent need to get to him ASAP, right?

I have no idea if those signals are from ambushes, traps, or are misdirections meant to herd you away from them. So I say we just avoid them completely.

Head to the floor over the two right elevator shafts, start punching down, and don't stop 'till you hit whatever is hidden under this place.

The rest of the floors in this place look thicker than the one you just punched through. You might not be able to do the same to them. You got something that could get through them without causing massive collateral damage? Plasma blade? Plasma aura for your fists, maybe?

Lets work on cracking the encryption on both of those signals, starting with the overt one. I'd like to know what they're talking about, even if we aren't going near them. Perhaps even break into those systems, if we're really certain we can do it without being detected.
>>
No. 508078 ID: fe3247
File 136720685282.png - (140.06KB , 600x500 , vendingmachine.png )
508078

>Hey, you haven't had a bite to eat since crashing on this rock, have you?

You're right, good thinking. I burn through calories fast when I'm wearing this thing. I'll tell our new hivemates to fetch something, since they seem to know the upper levels, at least.

>The rest of the floors in this place look thicker than the one you just punched through.

Right again. No plasma blade, sorry; energy restrictions. This suit's basically powered off my body heat and the overcharge on my empathic field. But a nearly-molecular spike and blade should help me out. It takes me a bit of effort to make it form, but so long as I'm not in a fight, it's tolerable.
>>
No. 508083 ID: fe3247
File 136720714650.png - (7.24KB , 600x600 , hqmap2.png )
508083

>Straight down sounds good.

I only get three more floors of progress before something comes up, of course.

>"Yeah, I think they noticed your shortcuts."
>"Maybe the super sentai goon squad have trackers on them?"
>"Or there are hidden cameras."
>"Or you busted through a network line!"
>"So basically, there was bit of higher traffic on the lower level, and then the upper level went totally silent. The lower kept on high for a while and then it dropped back down."

So either they've got everything ready and are settled for the ambush, want to hide, or they've been called back or told to get out of there or something. They might be expecting me to come down through them, now, so either of the two sections closer to the elevator shaft might have them waiting for me. Of course, the 2d map is a little limited; if the levels I've gone through so far is an indication, there are lesser rooms subdividing the main structural chambers. Or, there might not. These lower floors might have different purposes, and if they're just using it for storage, they could just be big empty boxes.

I could probably still avoid the next floor entirely, if I drop down through the elevator shaft. But, maybe they want me to do that.

>"Been trying to get more info out of the system, found some old maintenance logs. After the next two floors, there's some sort of extra reinforcement, so it doesn't look like you'll be able to punch through the final floor. Someone was complaining about not being able to lay cables in the floor down there."

Strange.

Some of Red's crew feel like they're getting a bit more nervous, too.
>>
No. 508087 ID: d6ef5d

I don't suppose your shades come with spiffy x-ray vision or anything? We could see what's waiting a floor down before choosing to engage.

And did we exchange comm frequencies with the skittles squad? We could get on the phone and ask what's upsetting them if something happened up top.
>>
No. 508091 ID: fe3247
File 136720941584.png - (71.00KB , 600x500 , yellowsnervous.png )
508091

>I don't suppose your shades come with spiffy x-ray vision or anything?

No such luck, x-rays need too much power. I have thermal, but it can't pick up anything through the walls or floor here.

>And did we exchange comm frequencies with the skittles squad? We could get on the phone and ask what's upsetting them if something happened up top.

They're not up top, they're following along. It only took them a moment to catch back up after getting something to eat. I could tell them to climb back up if you think it's a good idea. While I have them, though...

"If you've got something to say, say it."

"Uh... n-no, it's silly."

"Ugh. Yellow, are you seriously freaking out about some fucking ghost stories?"

"I said it was silly. And it's not a ghost story! It's just... a lot of people have been stuck here for a long time, there's... stuff they say, about the asteroid. That there's, you know, some big mystery, something buried deep down in the core. And I just... didn't know this place went down so far, so... It's stupid. It's not like you aren't worried too, Red, we can all tell."

"I'm not fucking worried, I just feel like how I feel when I get called in to be shouted at, y'know? I'd leave if I didn't just get fucking mind raped, at least leave me enough brain cells that I can still want to, sheesh."
>>
No. 508139 ID: d6ef5d

>if I didn't just get fucking mind raped
Pff. You know you liked it.

>I could tell them to climb back up if you think it's a good idea.
Nah, nevermind. I just assumed from the previous wording you'd left them behind when you dropped like a bunker busting missile.

>what do?
Go for the exclamation mark. If it is a threat, I don't want it at our backs when we deal with whatever's at the bottom. Besides, if this is ultimately a conversion / conquest mission, we sort of have to deal with everything anyways.
>>
No. 508151 ID: f2c20c

>>508091
No. He's been a bad boy and he gets no such luxuries.

It almost feels like serious time, here. Hmm. Get into that elevator shaft next to you. Then see if you can peek through the elevator doors. Or maybe we should find the armory first. We have no guns! NO GUNS. Impenetrable supersuit or no, I don't like going in unarmed.
>>
No. 508152 ID: d6ef5d

>>508151
...we had guns, but they kind of disappeared into digital CAI jetalium hammerspace storage during the transformation sequence (...which means I'm guessing the clothes and gear got unceremoniously dumped on one of the UnSe crew inside in the computer-jem, there).
>>
No. 508209 ID: ac851f

who cares, eat and keep on punching.
>>
No. 508597 ID: 9e1727

Actually, send them back up, but not to leave. Send them to the armory to load up with everything they can put on and carry out, then come back. This is going to be a Poloka class fight, and they're going to need more armor than they have on to survive even being near that, and weapons better than their fists to even think about backing you up. And if the Zozu's cleaned out the armory, then I think the ship has a regular neumono armory pod it could drop for them.

You could also head back up with them to swipe some better scanning gear from the armory to check out the floor below, or at least a pair of x-ray goggles from the infirmary.

As for how to approach heading down: How about doing something more crazy awesome than punching through floors?

Go around busting all the water lines on this level and the levels above, and the drain lines from the sump pumps on the levels below. Then bust out the elevator doors on this level and all the ones above. Let the water flood the elevator shaft and this level. Then swim down and place a remote detonation charge on the elevator doors, come back up, and blow them. Then ride the wave out on a surf board. Oh, you're going to need to request a surf board drop from the ship.

Not only will this look cool, once the water floods the level it'll render all the enemy's guns inoperable or ineffective, and short out any electronics that aren't waterproofed. That leaves them with only being able to fight close quarters, which is pretty much suicide against you.
>>
No. 508894 ID: 8c9410
File 136780128688.png - (176.86KB , 600x500 , polokoateachingtime.png )
508894

>>508597
>flood the elevator shaft and this level

Normally, this would be a plan I could get behind.

However, the water systems here are sure to have been built with a lot of safeguards! Water is a precious resource in places that are not naturally habitable. Even when you have a bunch of icy asteroids and comets, it takes a lot of effort and expense to retrieve those; and in a place like this, where they have to depend on the whims of gravity to drop fresh supply for them, the recycling systems have to be first priority in efficiency and maintenance. There are always losses, even at the best of times, so every drop counts. Even space pirates and other criminals, if they can't actually steal the water they find in their normal business, usually leave it where it is in case they need to come back for it. A threat to the water supply is a threat to the life of everyone in any artificially supported settlement, so never do work on the water systems yourself! Always call a professional.

This is also why wet t-shirt competitions, water balloons, water pistols, and all manner of super soakers are banned in places like this.

Use water responsibly!
>>
No. 508895 ID: 8c9410
File 136780131697.png - (147.46KB , 900x600 , whatwevegot.png )
508895

>we have no guns!
>we had guns, but they kind of disappeared into digital CAI jetalium hammerspace

What? That's ridiculous. We don't have magic.

The guns are just invisible.

Our cloaking suit technology wasn't supposed to reach the public in the first place, and it wasn't supposed to get posted on the internet, and it definitely wasn't supposed to get into the hands of a belonosian gun nut who we couldn't find before he posted his how-to for sticking it onto a rifle. And then we get a bunch of criminals and terrorists running around with invisible guns, so we had to let the weapons manufacturers have the technology so they could make their own professionally-made invisible guns for the public. And then violent crime went down, as it would when anybody could be carrying invisible guns. Though, the rate of pretending-to-have-a-gun crimes did go up, as did the rate of invisible-gun-related accidents, since it turns out lots of people have terrible memories when it comes to where they left their invisible guns.

Obviously, guns that can turn invisible are more expensive, and they're not any good for intimidation, so they're not that common except for special forces and enthusiasts. But most shops will have one or two on the shelf. It's an accessory, like night vision scopes or silencers or magnetic holsters. The visible light gang here all have their own weapons.

I'm sure you can give yourselves a rundown of everything we have in resources at the minute.
>>
No. 508896 ID: 8c9410
File 136780137096.png - (100.28KB , 600x500 , elavator1.png )
508896

"Come on, hurry up! We're in trouble already."

"This isn't built to move quickly in the first place!"

"We're just following orders, it's not our fault."

"It's our fault if we listen to orders from the wrong person!! That isn't even what I'm talking about, what about these things?"
>>
No. 508897 ID: 8c9410
File 136780142014.png - (68.32KB , 600x500 , elavator2.png )
508897

"We weren't supposed to actually have to use these, they're just for scaring people!"

"Well, you're not going to have to use them, so shut up. And stop pointing it at me."
>>
No. 508898 ID: 8c9410
File 136780145474.png - (87.87KB , 600x500 , elavator3.png )
508898

>peek through the elevator doors
>>
No. 508899 ID: 8c9410
File 136780149544.png - (125.33KB , 600x500 , elavator4.png )
508899

"Um..."

Plasma spitters, huh? Takes a special kind of idiot to run around with a bottle of ionized nuclear gases on their back. The only dependable safety feature on these things is that people get more nervous about shooting at you.

I don't really want to kill any of these people. If everything goes well, after all, they'll end up working for me.

Suggestions?
>>
No. 508905 ID: 76b151

Well the guy just hit a button, by the noise its the Close Door button, so you might want to jam that open.

As for what to do you might wanna wreck the turret before they get in turned around then threaten everyone with your new plasma spitter. I don't think it matters if its attached to that guy while you threaten with it or not.
>>
No. 508908 ID: c51b3b

tell him you need his clothes, his keys & his gun.

also maybe politely ask everybody to put their guns down, as you have some volatile equipment (the rainbow parade) that you'd rather not send forwards
>>
No. 508910 ID: f2c20c

>>508899
"You said you won't have to use them, so don't. Stay here and out of my way." Then just ride the elevator down to the next level.

Also take that guy's hat and put it on Yellow.
>>
No. 508911 ID: d6ef5d

Disable a group of two Pomi, three miklik (one of which has four arms! And a full on mobster suit! With a space-tommygun and everything! =D), a human, and a heef without killing them? Interesting.

Well, there's always intimidation. They're already terrified of their own weapons, it shouldn't be too hard to make them so afraid of you they surrender without a fight.

Or maybe a concussive blast from both palm blasters to knock everyone in the room out? (Shaped so it doesn't knock out the skittles band behind you).
>>
No. 508931 ID: 6600be

>>508899
that guy is pressing buttons. stop him. also don't let her use that thing, she'll kill everyone in the room apart from you. also, what is that huge thing that has wheels?
>>
No. 508932 ID: 6600be

just a heads up, they seem to be evacuating the room in a hurry, keep them in and find out what did they rig this room with
>>
No. 508989 ID: cee89f

>>508899
He should know you can't close the door when someone's standing in it. Also it's rude. >=( Punch that jerk square in his jaw.

Any way you can get them as your subordinates right now?
>>
No. 509174 ID: 9e1727

...Hmmm. Yanno, from what this lot just said I don't think they're under orders to fight you; At least, not anymore. Quite the opposite, in fact. Sounds to me like they got some erroneous orders, and that burst of wireless traffic from below was Father Zozu clearing that up and ordering them to leave. So as long as you don't act like you're going to attack, they won't fight in desperation.

Retract the katar to appear slightly less threatening. Then reaching down to gently push the plasma spitter away with a single finger. "The man said not to point that at him. It's not safe, you know. And get your finger off the trigger." (Seriously, Zozu is letting somebody this untrained handle a plasma spitter? I expected better from them.)

Then turn to the rest of them and say "Now, you lot don't attack me and I won't kill you. Got that? Good. Now get out of my sight. Except for you." Grasp Four Arms' shoulder. "I have some questions for you before you go."
>>
No. 511693 ID: 52d91f

I'm thinking the best solution here is to threaten everyone with blowing the containment on the Plasma Spitter. I'm willing to bet that, whatever it does to anyone else, it will do less to you.
>>
No. 513124 ID: d4e541
File 136977210781.png - (138.23KB , 600x500 , standoff1.png )
513124

>intimidation

I empathically command the fruit cup hive to practice being threatening. Surprisingly (or perhaps not), they don't seem to have much problem frightening their former coworkers.

Thwukk!
"This is for leaving moldy sandwiches in the fridge."

"You don't want to fight, then don't. You, don't point that at him. Point it... here. Now, the rest of you. Drop your weapons and get out of my sight."

"Hop to it, chumps, or we'll try a bit of the ol' good-cop bad-cop!"

... What?

"Good cop and Bad cop are what he calls his fists. You... probably don't want to know what he calls his other body parts."
>>
No. 513126 ID: d4e541
File 136977213946.png - (85.19KB , 600x500 , standoff2.png )
513126

>the tank

It's basically a larger, safer version of the plasma spitter. Still also illegal, of course, and still not a good idea to shoot at. Where have they been getting this junk? Its driver seems to like his chances better in cover.

Unfortunately, we seem to have failed to notice another miklik also carrying a plasma spitter. Looking too scared to use it, but scared people with weapons are unpredictable. And they can't put it down, since it's attached. Not good to give people orders they can't obey, it puts them in a habit.

I could try shoot them, but spitters are more like flamethrowers with a narrow stream than a gun; aiming is tricky. Since I'm larger, they have a better chance of hitting me without hitting the plasma battery on this one's back. Still stupid to try, but again, fear makes stupid for some people. None of the others in the room would usually worry me, but they might hit the battery, too. Or just hurt each other, or my "friends" here. Most look like they would surrender, but they're confused.
>>
No. 513141 ID: f2c20c

>>513126
I just didn't think the other miklik's spitter was notable.

Why don't you just toss the two spitter-mikliks together to keep them from using their weapons, then rush in to disarm anyone who still has their guns?
>>
No. 513143 ID: c51b3b

isn't there anyway to disable it by like... blocking it? at least so if he does fire nothing will happen for a short delay before he melts himself & everything in the room?
>>
No. 513153 ID: 19b3c3

Hey you- point that stupid thing somewhere nice and safe like the ground and get your shaking finger off the trigger before it goes off and gets someone hurt. Which would include you, I promise.

Or maybe we could use a sniper shot with an invisible gun to disable the weapon by not shooting it in the plasma pack?

If the plasma flamethrower does go off, Could we shape or different the blast with our palm blasters?
>>
No. 513192 ID: 5869f6

It's Likely that the miklik will drop his plasma-death-trap if you tell him that he'll go up in flames as well as the rest of ya.
>>
No. 513193 ID: 5869f6

Plus, if worst comes to worst, you could use the rest of them as meatshields.
>>
No. 513194 ID: bf54a8

turn yours around so it's pack is the shield.
>>
No. 513277 ID: f29aa1

>>513126
"Do you have a license for that thing?"
>>
No. 513306 ID: bc8d67

Alright, best move slow and not make any sudden noises, lest their trigger finger twitch; Take it nice and easy.

Empathically order the Technicolor Clown Squad to freeze where they are, keep quiet, and not turn towards or even look at this plasma spitter miklik. They can still stare down the other goons, though, but no more than that.

Look towards the miklik, tap into your Polo side, put on your Serious Face and speak in an icily calm tone. "You may keep your weapon and your life if you simply turn around and walk away;" Best to keep it simple. If it doesn't react right away, wait to let your words sink into its fear addled mind.

If it does fire, don't return fire. Dodge back around the corner of the elevator so the stream doesn't hit your plasma spitter tank, and order Red and the gang to not return fire but to circle around the spitter turret to grab the miklik. Otherwise gunfire might puncture his plasma tank.
>>
No. 513353 ID: cee89f

>"Good cop and Bad cop are what he calls his fists. You... probably don't want to know what he calls his other body parts."
... *groan* well now I do.

>>513126
Whatever you do, do it very very slowly and carefully.
>>
No. 513486 ID: 5869f6

Slow movements. Tell him you'll let him go if he drops the Spitter. Oh, and keep your word as well.
>>
No. 513489 ID: bc8d67

>>513486
Well, he kinda can't put it down, since it's connected to the tank on his back, and the tank looks like its connected to his armor. And with him mentally addled by fear, any instructions should be clear, easy to do, and not leave him confused.

Now, best he could do is point it at the ground and get his finger off the trigger while turning away from us. While he could let the spitter go, I wouldn't trust it not to go off while dangling or if it's bouncing around while he runs away, or to not separate from the hose to the pack and blow plasma all over like a loose fire hose.
>>
No. 513507 ID: 5869f6

(To be hones a friggin' plasma spitter seems a bit retarded with how volatile it is. I would say that the designer was as dumb as an Artok. But that would be an insult to Artoks everywhere.)
>>
No. 513516 ID: cf49fc

>>513507
They're called Arkots you apricot!
>>
No. 513586 ID: 5869f6

(I like Apricots...)
>>
No. 513677 ID: b680cf

ATTACK LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!
>>
No. 513804 ID: 937dbc

use the other guy with the plasma spitter as a human shield. make sure to point the backpack part at him.
>>
No. 515607 ID: 95f4ae
File 137080152396.png - (90.41KB , 600x500 , intimidation1.png )
515607

>Hey you- point that stupid thing somewhere nice and safe like the ground
>It's Likely that the miklik will drop his plasma-death-trap if you tell him that he'll go up in flames as well as the rest of ya.
>put on your Serious Face and speak in an icily calm tone.

Intimidation does seem to be working for the rest of them already, so focusing it in further might be all we need. I'll add a little extra of my own.
>>
No. 515608 ID: 95f4ae
File 137080155197.png - (106.89KB , 600x500 , intimidation2.png )
515608

"What- Augh!!"

"Don't point a weapon at someone if you don't want to use it. And you don't. So just leave."
>>
No. 515609 ID: 95f4ae
File 137080158704.png - (109.36KB , 600x500 , intimidation3.png )
515609

"Yeah, run, you pack a' fuckin piss stains!"

Red and his team have recovered, and they feel somewhat more enthusiastic, those of them that are capable of it. I might have had to be more forceful if they weren't here. Perhaps they can continue being worth something.
>>
No. 515610 ID: 95f4ae
File 137080161951.png - (104.70KB , 600x800 , descend1.png )
515610

Onward and downward.
>>
No. 515611 ID: 95f4ae
File 137080172581.png - (63.55KB , 600x500 , descend2.png )
515611

The next level isn't guarded. The floor sounds different, demonstrating the different material underneath that you indicated earlier. Aside that, it's just another set of storage chambers. Until we reach the last room.
>>
No. 515612 ID: 95f4ae
File 137080178730.png - (55.88KB , 600x500 , descend3.png )
515612

There's a staircase down, through the thick layer of... whatever, surrounding what's below. A strange staircase. And strange surroundings. I can't tell what the walls are made of.

"Thiiiiis is... kinda weird..."

"Did we get turned around somehow? I feel... no. Huh."

There's light from below. And...
>>
No. 515614 ID: 95f4ae
File 137080183878.png - (133.20KB , 600x500 , descend4.png )
515614

... And I wouldn't say this is what I was expecting.
>>
No. 515615 ID: 95f4ae
File 137080186707.png - (85.70KB , 600x500 , descend5.png )
515615

"Hey, there's Mama Zozu."

"Sssshshhh she hates being called that!!"
>>
No. 515619 ID: b14973

>>515614
is that a movie set? what the fuck?

and why did pink bite black?

and did you guys lose sense of direction?
>>
No. 515635 ID: f2c20c

>>515608
Oh, so your eyes really are solid colors and that wasn't just for effect during the transformation?

>>515615
So uh, target sighted I guess. The lack of expendable resistance is a bit disappointing. What were we supposed to do when we found the salikai? If we need another Anarchy Dunk we should start preparing for it now. I wonder if that's their strategy. To be as boring as possible so that we don't have a chance to build up any pressure. Hmm. No, I think it has something to do with the materials here.

Blue felt something weird. Maybe they've got odorless hallucination gas active. I suggest sealing your suit and running off of air tanks for a while.

Regardless, let's have the fruit brigade fan out and secure the area- it's full of arkots that could be carrying invisible weapons or hiding them amongst the stuff here. Then walk up to Mama Zozu and ask her if she's going to come quietly or if we have to get rough.
>>
No. 515658 ID: c23ab0

You wandered out of the scene! Talk about unprofessional! Get back on camera this instant young ladys
>>
No. 515664 ID: eaa372

Drop everything and follow your dreams to become the greatest soap opera actor on this asteroid. First we need to intimidate Zozu into give us a good contract for at least 2 seasons.
>>
No. 515725 ID: 5869f6

what the name of Santa Christ is this shit
>>
No. 515738 ID: 01531c

Have your protojetaliumneurobiosuit sprout a camera and visual display, so you can check if your senses are hallucinating.
>>
No. 515741 ID: cee89f

... Ooooooooh, I think I get it.

Mama Zozu thinks she can harm you and she wants to make it into a show. Record her fight with you, then show it to the whole aesteroid or something...Or she likes film.

Either way, the response is the same: Pose for the camera!
>>
No. 515744 ID: 19b3c3

Pff. Yellow ended up with the mobster hat.

>>515615
...activate Polotech: fuck this I'm out. You should be slid more towards Polo then Rokoa anyways, since you've been infiltrating a base instead of destroying it, and you actually managed to end a conflict with words.
>>
No. 515773 ID: 5869f6

>>515744
True, she does seem to be sliding more towards Polo.
>>
No. 515861 ID: 8b9215

Continue on your way. If opposed, deadpan intimidate rather than the flashy angry kind.
>>
No. 515932 ID: 3bb45f

she appears to have HUGE GUTS. just sayin'.
>>
No. 515978 ID: 5869f6

Pose for the camera, you look absolutely FABULOUS in that suit. Designers everywhere will weep at your beauty.
>>
No. 516067 ID: 996c90
File 137090274140.png - (98.50KB , 600x500 , momzozu.png )
516067

Lelektis Hakati... mother of most of the Zozu family. Possibly the only salikai on the asteroid who doesn't carry the name herself. I might have some responsibility for that eye of hers; I told everyone not to let salikai leave the planet, and some people decided that lethal force was the method of choice. Reports are thin on how the family got into space, but what there is seems like there was some excitement. Still, if we hadn't shifted from the general genocide tactic, they wouldn't have been any better off.

>she appears to have HUGE GUTS.
Female salikai all have that big bump at the back. Are you going to go back to shouting about everyone's perfectly normal sexual characteristics whenever you meet them, again? I had thought you'd gotten enough of that at the cybernetics conference.

>Blue felt something weird. Maybe they've got odorless hallucination gas active.
>did you guys lose sense of direction?
The suit would have detected any unusual gas. I felt what Blue felt as well, anyway, and it wasn't that. There were a few steps where we felt like we were going the wrong direction. But, there are only two directions on a staircase, and we were still going down.

>Why did pink bite black?
Getting rid of spare hate, as close as I can tell. From the empathic sense, they all seemed to think it was normal. Black didn't mind. Red was happy it wasn't his turn, so I gather this happens regularly.

Let's see what's going on here.

"Your majesty. Welcomes on behalf of the family, and apologies for what happened upstairs. The father of my children wants to... talk... to you."

She doesn't seem to approve of whatever this talk is going to involve.

"I'm here to assure you of your safety, like you have any need of that. That means you drag me along with you, and if we try to kill you, you can kill me first. Are we going?"
>>
No. 516071 ID: 19b3c3

That's nice, but I don't really need a hostage.

Either your presence won't stop them (they consider her an acceptable loss, or have some kind of targeted attack they're very confident in), or they're earnest in not wanting to fight.

>we felt like we were going the wrong direction
...could we have been shunted into some sort of simulation or into an alternate universe or pocket dimension or something?

[Double check universal coordinates and fundamental constants. Attempt to hack simulation, to see if it exists]
>>
No. 516077 ID: f2c20c

>>516067
Sounds like gravity shifted. Do we have a GPS locator or something? Oh wait, this is the Asteroid, of course gravity sh... wait a minute. This is a salikai base. They're researching the Asteroid's core. That's why the walls are a weird material- this is a shielded outpost.

So interrogate her on the way as to what they're doing down here. Threaten to break off a few limbs if she doesn't talk. ACTUALLY DO break off a few limbs if she won't cooperate.
>>
No. 516079 ID: 19b3c3

>threats, break limbs
There's no need for that. She's being reasonable, or at least pretending to be, for the moment.
>>
No. 516080 ID: a2fc5b

the violence is high with many, also do you think due to the size of the asteroid, like I remember others suffering from when in water, the distorted sense of direction could be from shifts in the gravity?

but yeah some answers to questions could be nice and if she's going to be this amiable, might as well take the chance
>>
No. 516156 ID: c23ab0

Use your LEGENDARY DIPLOMACY skills to seduce the Father salikai. Hard mode: with his wife there watching.
>>
No. 516160 ID: f2c20c

Wait.

Turn around and look at the top of the stairs. If it's sealed off, this section of their base may have detached. They could be planning on launching it into the sun or something, to get rid of us.
>>
No. 516191 ID: f29aa1

I am in love with the gopher-boy miklik.
>>
No. 516273 ID: c23ab0

>>516160

I'm sure they'd love to launch us into the sun except, hello! Asteroid? Nobody can get off it.
>>
No. 516280 ID: f2c20c

>>516273
This part of it is made of an unusual material.

Likely something immune to the asteroid's pull.
>>
No. 516283 ID: 82adcc

let me clarify. HUGE GUTS mean they're perfect for RIPPING. not to mention TEARING.
>>
No. 516297 ID: c23ab0

No they aren't going to launch us into the sun. They are going to launch us into the YAWNING ALL CONSUMING VORTEX OF SPACE TIME AND FEAR AT THE CENTER OF THE ASTEROID
>>
No. 516424 ID: bc8d67

Well, you don't need or want a hostage here, but Lelektis is going where you're going anyway, so may as well walk alongside her. Tell her as much and that you'll endeavor to get this over with before her flask runs dry.

It's obvious Lelektis hates your guts, so don't bother trying to ask her questions yourself. Instead empathically relay what questions you want asked to Red and the gang so they can ask them. In fact, tell them to ask anything they wanted to ask themselves as well.

Yellow was wondering what was down here earlier, so have him ask her what this strange place is and what it's made of. Then maybe Black could ask who got the bright idea to go against Father Zozu's orders and set an ambush for you up above.

>Staircase spacial weirdness
Dunno what's up with that. Might be an effect of moving deeper into the asteroid and closer to the core. We better check on that, since there might be some funky space-time warp or something going on down here.

[Analyze visual, mapping, accelerometer, altimeter, electromagnetic and gravitational data to determine current position in asteroid, location relative to asteroid core, path taken, and if there are any inexplicable oddities or inconsistencies in our spatial movement]

>>516077
Actually, this area isn't shielded. We picked up radio chatter from down here all the way up at the top level of the base.
>>
No. 516471 ID: 5869f6

Let's just hope it isn't some sort of horrifying Eldritch Abomination.

(OHGODIJINXEDIT)
>>
No. 516476 ID: cee89f

"...what's with the lights?"

>Female salikai all have that big bump at the back. Are you going to go back to shouting about everyone's perfectly normal sexual characteristics whenever you meet them, again? I had thought you'd gotten enough of that at the cybernetics conference.

Mistress, we only started two fights and the Belenos ambassador ran for it in time, let it go.

>Wrong direction staircase

Hm... is it possible they could've made something specifically tailored to get past neurosuits? If they knew you were coming...
>>
No. 516509 ID: 89f029

>>515612

Oh come on. You didn't figure it out? You walked through a fold in the fabric of space. You're not on the moon anymore, or in a completely different section.

Obvious.
>>
No. 516587 ID: 8b9215

We stepped into a holodeck.
>>
No. 518700 ID: 3cbb02
File 137187298040.png - (114.86KB , 600x500 , goingtofatherzozu1.png )
518700

>...could we have been shunted into some sort of simulation or into an alternate universe or pocket dimension or something?
>Sounds like gravity shifted. Do we have a GPS locator or something?
>distorted sense of direction could be from shifts in the gravity?
>Might be an effect of moving deeper into the asteroid and closer to the core. We better check on that, since there might be some funky space-time warp or something going on down here.
>You walked through a fold in the fabric of space. You're not on the moon anymore, or in a completely different section.

... Check with the ship.

>"Oh, weird."
>"They say they were reading you in two places for a moment, and now you're reading from the second of the two, up in a tower 26.53 x 10−9 astronomical units from where you were."
>"Just say 'about four kilometers', sheesh."
>"That shouldn't be possible."
>"Pffffff. Euclid called, he wants his geometry back."

Are they sure?

>"They had already noticed, so they triangulated a bit. Everything says you're in a tower now, including empathy."

It's possible they made this happen somehow, but much more likely they're just using what's already here. In which case, there's some sort of giant ancient space mystery on our hands. I hope it doesn't turn out like the last two did.

>Use your LEGENDARY DIPLOMACY skills to seduce the Father salikai. Hard mode: with his wife there watching.

Salikai don't really get married. They have agreements to produce and raise children, and it would be a misrepresentation to use words like "wife" or "husband". I am not going to attempt to seduce one, because they are unusually uninterested in such things compared to most species. Also, because fuck that. Fuck that in the least literal way.

>you don't need or want a hostage here, but Lelektis is going where you're going anyway, so may as well walk alongside her. Tell her as much and that you'll endeavor to get this over with before her flask runs dry.

"So gracious of you. Come on, then."
>>
No. 518701 ID: 3cbb02
File 137187303645.png - (142.51KB , 600x500 , goingtofatherzozu2.png )
518701

"So, tell me. What's it like being two people in one body?"

"... It's like singing a duet. All the time."

"... Right..."

>interrogate her
>ask her what this strange place is and what it's made of.

"This? It's part of whatever keeps everyone leaving. I saw you noticed the twists; it gets worse the lower you go. Some of my sons and daughters have been put to task over teams studying it. I asked to have it explained to me once, and it gave me a headache, so don't ask me about it. I've already got another one queued up."

>who got the bright idea to go against Father Zozu's orders and set an ambush for you up above.

"Ugh. One of my more... tempestuous children. He'll be in trouble enough, trust me."

>"...what's with the lights?"

"Atmosphere. We're here."
>>
No. 518702 ID: 3cbb02
File 137187307411.png - (60.21KB , 600x500 , goingtofatherzozu3.png )
518702

Darkness.

"Your royal guest has arrived, oh planter of my gardens!"

"Eeew, mooom!"

"Shh!"

"Shhhh!!"


It feels like a large room, and sounds like there are other salikai hanging back in the shadows. A lot of them.
>>
No. 518704 ID: 3cbb02
File 137187311467.png - (63.89KB , 600x500 , goingtofatherzozu4.png )
518704

But the focus naturally turns to just one.

"Polokoa."

"I'd offer you a welcome, but I know you never looked for it."

>>
No. 518710 ID: f2c20c

>>518704
"You know why I'm here. Join me, it is... inevitable."
>>
No. 518714 ID: 19b3c3

Yeah yeah, get with the villain speech already. I know you've got one ready with the lighting and setup. Let's hear it.
>>
No. 518723 ID: 591152

>>518714
what are you talking about? the monologue is OUR part.
>>
No. 518725 ID: 19b3c3

>>518723
No, no. We go second. We want to upstage him, not get upstaged. We hear what he has to say, and then we crush it with our own awesome.
>>
No. 518749 ID: f29aa1

>>518725
This is Father Zozu.
I don't think it's possible to upstage him.
Rules of hospitality do mandate the host goes first though.
>>
No. 518754 ID: 3a3fd8

charge your lazors while he blabbers on.
>>
No. 518811 ID: 5869f6

Aw, let him have his speech.
He's being a good host. Well,
since he hasn't tried to kill us or anythin'
I'd be rude for the guest to interrupt.
>>
No. 518909 ID: cee89f

"Join me so we can do shit that's actually frakking useful for both our races. Lovely mate, by the way. And I like the static TVs there."
>>
No. 518977 ID: c23ab0

"Join me and together we can rule the worldasteroid"
>>
No. 519698 ID: 58e9db
File 137230439471.png - (62.52KB , 600x500 , zozuchatmomentaryconflict1.png )
519698

"Not sure I'd take that welcome if you were giving it. All this setup, leading around through an empty building, into a dark room full of people hiding in the shadows? I don't like surprise parties, Father Zozu. Do like surprise parties. I don't. I do. I..."

"... Excuse me. Two seconds."
>>
No. 519699 ID: 58e9db
File 137230441738.png - (70.07KB , 600x500 , zozuchatmomentaryconflict2.png )
519699

"Come on. Really? No? Stupid. Rrh. One two rock scissors, ugh, fine. For the purposes of this conversation I do like surprise parties. But I don't think I'd like this one."

>Join me
>Join me
>Join me
>the monologue is OUR part
>let him have his speech

"You instructed that no one was to try and kill me. You want to talk. So, let's talk."

"Trying to kill you would do nothing of benefit. If I could kill you, which is a large if, and one that many others have suffered for the attempting, how would I do it? With an army? With a weapon designed for slicing into military bunkers? There's no way I can end your life without honoring you, and perpetuating your... legend."
>>
No. 519700 ID: 58e9db
File 137230445760.png - (8.13KB , 600x500 , zozumakeshisplay1.png )
519700

"So long as your myth stands, I wouldn't be surprised if the regime you've created endures, as well. Neither would it shock me if you had some way of coming back to life, in any case, considering the ludicrous stories we hear."

"Your trouble's with my government?"

"My trouble is with you. Your government is an extension of you. That is, in fact, my problem. No, say nothing more. Yes, benefits to our species', rising above ourselves, et cetera. We will have our debate, Queen Polokoa, and if you win, me and mine will... capitulate. We have, after all, no choice. We will likely end up subjugated to you even if you lose, but I won't have my children living in a world balanced on the back of one... individual. I intend to show you for less than the demigod everyone believes you've become, and if that's all I can do then I will accept that as my small contribution to the future for all those descended from our planet. Killing you won't do that. Defeating you will."

"And I know the secret, Polokoa. Everyone thinks that defeating you at anything is impossible, but you have been beaten in something, once. Just once, by one person."

"Bring him in!"

>>
No. 519701 ID: 58e9db
File 137230450470.png - (52.81KB , 600x500 , zozumakeshisplay2.png )
519701

Is he talking about... no, it couldn't be anything else. Is he serious!?

"Did you know he was here, on the asteroid? In fact, you narrowly missed him not long ago. He tried to take cover from some of your collateral damage, and ended up in the hands of one of my agents."

That barrel looks familiar.
>>
No. 519702 ID: 58e9db
File 137230452646.png - (40.22KB , 600x500 , zozumakeshisplay3.png )
519702

"On this occasion, I had to have my hospitality... enforced. It's about time I let him go free. He is, after all, quite a celebrity."
>>
No. 519703 ID: 58e9db
File 137230455499.png - (72.55KB , 600x500 , zozumakeshisplay4.png )
519703

Hok.

"... Heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy."
>>
No. 519704 ID: f2c20c

>>519703
Uh.

What'd he beat you at? Hide and Seek?
>>
No. 519705 ID: 591152

>>519703
not much is stopping you from being friendly to hok and getting him on your side.
>>
No. 519706 ID: eaa372

>>519704

Congratulate Hok on becoming the greatest hide and seek champion in the galaxy. Proceed to challenge him to a game of rock-paper-scissors, best 3 out of 5.
>>
No. 519708 ID: 19b3c3

Hok! Buddy! Who's your favorite neumono you hold no ill will towards?

Obviosuly they're going to try and humiliate you by having Hok beat you in a rap off.

Jokes on them, though. You sneaked, you teambuilded, you spared potential targets, you talked. We're swinging Polo-wards. That means we can just throw a Fuck This I'm Out at that noise.
>>
No. 519710 ID: c23ab0

>>519708

As if Polo could ever pass on an epic rap battle.
>>
No. 519715 ID: 591152

oh god i want to see a rap battle so bad
>>
No. 519720 ID: bf54a8

you would lose at tag, because you are, afterall, bad at running AWAY.
>>
No. 519733 ID: 5869f6

>>519703
HOK MAH BROTHA WHERE YOU BEEN
>>
No. 520408 ID: 44cc9b

>>519703
... What exactly did Hok beat you in?

>Rap battle
YES

>We lost at tag cuz we'd have to run /away/
Nobody would be able to run /at us/ either.
>>
No. 520586 ID: 522afb

Hok you magnificient bastard! We read your book!
>>
No. 520591 ID: 5869f6

>>520586
THE BOOOK
UR MAI HERO
SIGN MY SCREEN
AFGSBFTSGFDS
>>
No. 520614 ID: fe3788
File 137272950127.png - (25.85KB , 600x500 , hokstory1.png )
520614

>What'd he beat you at?
>... What exactly did Hok beat you in?

I remember.

How many years ago...? Complicated question, with space travel involved. After the incident with Pilon and the new suit prototype, but before we dealt with that drugs syndicate that had been pushing the sale of red flower in the southwest. I dropped by the labs to put a little surprise management on the night shift, but discovered Hok in the middle of helping himself to our databases.

We had a pretty fun chase.
>>
No. 520615 ID: fe3788
File 137272955466.png - (27.21KB , 600x500 , hokstory2.png )
520615

When I was closing in, he suddenly turned around and said he'd take a gamble. We'd have a little contest, him and me; if he won, he'd give back the info and leave, if I won, he gave himself up completely. It wasn't something I'd done before, things had been dull, so I thought, why not?

But... I lost.
>>
No. 520616 ID: fe3788
File 137272964020.png - (53.87KB , 600x500 , zozuchallenge1.png )
520616

"You cannot possibly be serious."

"I am very much so. I have to defeat you at something, and not only is it something you've been beaten at before, but you neumono, with your precious link for communication... I think it may likely be something your whole species is deficient in. You see, bringing you down, even a little, is the best for all of us, in the long run. We all need to see that we can provide things you can't, that for some things at least, we do not need you. Your government is not a democracy, Polokoa, or a meritocracy or oligarchy or socialist republic or, in fact, any real method of ruling in itself. It's all you. I've seen how you've run things. I've seen that it's all about your power, your strength of will, the sheer weight of your personality. I've seen that you don't really have a government at all. In short, although it is on a large scale, what I see is that you are a gangster."
>>
No. 520617 ID: fe3788
File 137272966903.png - (15.91KB , 600x500 , zozuchallenge2.png )
520617

"Well, I am relatively gangster myself."

snap
snap

>>
No. 520618 ID: fe3788
File 137272969463.png - (70.10KB , 600x500 , zozuchallenge3.png )
520618

>>
No. 520619 ID: fe3788
File 137272971373.png - (121.13KB , 600x500 , zozuchallenge4.png )
520619

>>
No. 520620 ID: fe3788
File 137272974010.png - (105.62KB , 600x500 , zozuchallenge5.png )
520620

>>
No. 520621 ID: fe3788
File 137272976427.png - (209.45KB , 720x600 , zozuchallenge7.png )
520621

>>
No. 520622 ID: fe3788
File 137272979755.png - (88.88KB , 600x500 , zozuchallenge8.png )
520622

"I challenge you, Polokoa, though it hardly need be declared..."
>>
No. 520623 ID: fe3788
File 137272983323.png - (84.01KB , 600x500 , zozuchallenge9.png )
520623

"... to a rap battle."
>>
No. 520624 ID: fe3788
File 137272986519.png - (85.17KB , 600x500 , zozuchallenge10.png )
520624

"Mother, please stop drinking."
>>
No. 520625 ID: 5869f6

OH
SHIT
SON
PREPARE FOR A FUCKING MAELSTROM OF EPIC NATURE AND PROPORTIONS
THE GODS ARE WATCHING
THE GALAXY IS WATCHING
WE ARE WATCHING

...

DON'T FUCK THIS UP MAN, SERIOUSLY
IT'LL BE PRETTY FUCKING EMBARRASSING
>>
No. 520627 ID: 19b3c3

>>520621
Saulanna, what you doing there.

>Rap battle
LEVEL 4 POLO TECH: Fuck this I'm out.

Seriously, we snuck in. We found a way not to kill those dudes. We didn't take a hostage and then get said hostage killed. We tried talking to the bad guy. We're well swung Polo-wards, now.

And seriously, sometimes, the only winning move is not to play.

It's to do something better instead.
>>
No. 520647 ID: f5680f

What are the stakes? Seems like just bragging rights.

What's the theme? Ground rules, please.

Polokoa, how exactly do you rule? What do you make people do? Do you have something planned for after you die of old age or assassination(unlikely as that is)?
>>
No. 520650 ID: eaa372

Get yourself some of what Mama Zozu keeps drinking, you know just to keep things fair.
>>
No. 520663 ID: b7169d

Dang she's already double fisting it, she's gonna kill her liver at that rate.
>>
No. 520719 ID: cf49fc

>>520627
I vote this too. Fuck it. This is stupid. Fuck Zozu, fuck his idiotic plan to topple a galactic peace regime, and fuck being stuck with Rokoa forever.
>>
No. 520720 ID: af9f19

>>520625
>Implying Polokoa would have taken that loss sitting down
>Implying she didn't practice like fuck to patch up her one weakness
>Implying she hasn't since achieved a level of gangsta unheard of in millenia
>>
No. 520724 ID: ea4b0b

>>520624
just stare at zozu for a minute.
then just ask, as calm as you can, "You're kidding me, right?"
>>
No. 520797 ID: 5869f6

>>520719
Yeah, you guys r' right
FUCK this shit.
WE OUT
>>
No. 520823 ID: d193e8

>>520797
out? OUT!?? no, fuck that, this shit is going down. let this be the greatest rap battle ever.

let's rapoff this ripoff!
>>
No. 520922 ID: 44cc9b

Shit just got real o____o

...

Wait. If Zozu is the one rapping, why is Hok even here?
>>
No. 520965 ID: f3bc2e

yeah, I... I'm not very good at slam poetry. so fuck it, let's just kill them all and be done with it. start with the camera crew.
>>
No. 521028 ID: 2f4b71

Another vote for activating Polotech.
>>
No. 521051 ID: c23ab0

I say you go for it. Zozu may have the chops, but he ain't got the soul.
>>
No. 521052 ID: 19b3c3

Rokoa's more comfortable in a dead language, and Polo was always stingy with words anyways. I don't see why I should care.
>>
No. 521312 ID: 3dd384

lemme just put this out there:
there are very few things that we're able to actually assist with when the mechanics don't actively support it.

language is one of those things.

judging by the exposition, she didn't have us when she lost.

we can back out. maybe it'll work. but c'mon, you don't think between all of us we'd be able to crowdsource some phat beats and illin' rhymes?
>>
No. 521354 ID: b6cb4a

>>521312
That's the spirit! We must lay down some rhymes.
>>
No. 521455 ID: 3dd384

Well, every time I try to remember what our empire actually looks like I get a pagefault to the head, so time to brainstorm cheap shots.

Zozu's big beef is that Polokoa's new order is a bit of a cult-of-personality. But isn't Zozu himself a mafia granddad? Sorta makes him the one sitting in a glass Escher-tower and throwing micro-meteorites here, or the space pot calling the space kettle black, or something.
>>/questdis/66561
Not only that, he's kind of a boring mafia granddad. Seriously. No hobbies? No romantic drive? His idea of recreation is watching the news? If he was any squarer he'd be a Japanese RPG developer!
>>
No. 521456 ID: 3dd384

>>521455
P.S. be sure to include a dig at his fetish for sitting in mysterious high-backed chairs
>>
No. 521471 ID: 3dd384

Hmm. On further consideration, I'm willing to go either way. We can take him up on the rap battle, OR we can slap down the whole thing as a juvenile stunt and insist that if he wants to debate the matter, well then, let's actually flippin' debate it instead of beating around the space bush. For that matter, we can even do both: slap it down as a juvenile stunt, but then say that we're okay beating him at his own juvenile stunt just to prove that it was pointless on top of everything else.

That said, whether this argument is going to be in prose or iambic heptameter, this is the heart of it:
>>507973
The info I've got on Papa Zozu suggests that he has basically the same motivations as you. Ancient grudges are stupid and held everyone back, tribal slapfights due to empathy are stupid and held the neumono back specifically. But his beef goes all the way back to neumono empathy itself, and that might be a big part of why he resents what you did to unite the homeworld.

So that's what you call him out on. The means of uniting the homeworld, at this point, is sunk costs. The point is, it's united, it's basically working. Does he actually dislike people liking you because he thinks it's unsafe? Or is it because he's biased against neumono empathy (and thus, against you and your methods)?

Sorry for all the multiposting, but, well, we don't have a Discussion channel for this ridiculous sidequest, so where else is it gonna go?
>>
No. 521491 ID: fd7000

We need to get Hok in on this. As the reigning rap battle champion of space he can be the judge, also try and get him to introduce the contestants, musically if at all possible.

Make sure you point out that Zozu's problem seems to be that your better at being a gangster than him.
>>
No. 521516 ID: f0357f

>>521491
>Make sure you point out that Zozu's problem seems to be that your better at being a gangster than him.

Zozu is a legit Mob Boss, an real Mafia Don! He was the original gangster before it was cool!!!
>>
No. 521529 ID: 735f4f

Rap about what you know. About learning to work together despite impossible odds.
>>
No. 521535 ID: 5f4e7d

This battles gonna be a bit unfair.
You better say a quick prayer,
and begin to prepare,
before you fall into despair,
Since to me no one can compare.

If you thought your declaration would bring on my abdication,
I think your past dealings might have been with someone to whom I have no relation.
You have my commendation,
and my condensation,
but according to my computation,
You're about to get hit by a conflagration.
Get ready for dehydration.

My beats are hot,
no matter what you thought,
I've lost before but now it's been brought,
What's been taught ought not be fought,
The battle's fraught with strife, but all for naught.
You're about to be swat.
>>
No. 521555 ID: c23ab0

Oh boy here we go we've started rapping.
Pretty soon you'll have your feet a-tapping.
These rhythms really don't feel so good.
That means they're good like they should ...be.

You can't rap better than me clearly.
I can rap better than you yearly.
I am hot stuff and you're not hot stuff.
So, give up yet? Have you listened enough?

The asteroid is the best rapping place
Where I am going to take first place.
That was my song. My rapping song.
Now can't we all just get along?
>>
No. 521566 ID: 5869f6

So you feel the beat.
But can ya' take the heat?
You might got the rhymes,
but do they even qualify as sublime?
You have the know,
but do ya' have the soul?
Can you lay the beat an' rhymes side-by-side?
Can ya' handle the groove,
or will ya have ta' move,
to the side while we whip your behind?
Can ya' really do this?
Can ya' really see yourself through this?
Will ya' fight,
or jus' lay down your mic?
Is it really worth it?
Or is that seed o' doubt,
gonna spread from your brain throughout?

...

Hurm, your move Zozu.
>>
No. 521589 ID: 6c71bc

(Er, sorry guys, but there's actually supposed to be another update or two before you start laying down the rhymes! Could you hold those back for a while longer?)
>>
No. 521590 ID: 9b57d3

JEEZ you guys can't rap. Let me show you how it's done. KEEP TO THE BEAT.


This is dumb but okay, whatever.
You think you're cool but still, I'm better.
Hok beat me once but his pants are wetter
from the mere presence of such a go-getter.

He feels so much fear when I am this near?
Hey I think he knows which way the wind blows.
He's got the notion his beats in motion
will hand you the win, then I'll do him in.

The lines you'll be slingin'
Will all have been written
by your captive kitten!


Let's force him to respond to the accusation via the rap battle. If he forced Hok to help him prepare his side of the rap battle, he won't have anything in them about being accused and thus will be forced to rap on the fly or else make it obvious he's cheating (okay you're cheating too but whatever).
>>
No. 521591 ID: 9b57d3

>>521589
Oh dammit. Well, I will just leave this here anyway.
>>
No. 521601 ID: 450660

>>520624

You are the legendary POLOKOA, mistress of a thousand stars and harbinger of AWESOME.

You can duet yourself.
>>
No. 521751 ID: c23ab0

>>521589

These ill beats just won't hold themselves back
It's not unlike trying to corral elves back
We're sorry you have updates coming
Before the ball can get started rolling
But once we start we can never stop
Because we are the best rappers. Up top
>>
No. 521782 ID: 5869f6

Heh, best way to do this would be to absolutely decimate Zozu at this, WHILE rapping about HOW FUCKING RETARDED THIS IS.
>>
No. 521787 ID: cee89f

>>521751
-_-

>>521589
(okies)

... Seriously, why is Hok even here if Zozu is the one rapping?
>>
No. 521818 ID: 6c71bc
File 137307702503.png - (126.35KB , 600x500 , rapconsiderations.png )
521818

>Fuck it. This is stupid.
>WE OUT
>And seriously, sometimes, the only winning move is not to play.
>It's to do something better instead.

I can do that, and I would, if you actually gave me something better. I'm not hearing much in the way of alternatives.

>let's just kill them all and

No. Now look, you made me think of killing everyone, and that made Pink go off.

Slapping down Father Zozu for the "juvenile stunt" is more tempting, but I'm not exactly in a position to chastise people for that sort of thing, considering the fact that it was not long ago that I recruited all the neumono on the asteroid as my subjects by playing a game of basketball. Besides, I'm getting a sense from Blue and Yellow that they don't think snubbing Zozu in front of everyone is a good idea.

>Polokoa, how exactly do you rule? What do you make people do? Do you have something planned for after you die of old age or assassination(unlikely as that is)?

I have laid out the methods I use to lead the neumono race before, in my bestselling book: Alien Brain Powers and You, how to rise to success by being a telepathic aberration of science and nature in a species that doesn't really care about being mind controlled if you don't rub it in their faces. Only not, because I didn't actually do that. But that is the basic summary of how I rule. I have a CAI that randomly selects people to decide government policy, and who then decides how those policies are carried out. Taxes are collected either in money or in labour hours, and those are used to see that things get done.

I would suppose, if I'm being honest with myself, that the system depends a lot on me to get everyone to play along. My status as High Queen is what motivates the neumono to stick together and work, while for the other species, I mostly just got myself in their way until they were persuaded it was easier to work with my wishes than against them. It might be that things would get worse if I was gone, but my first goal has always been to eliminate the old ways of thinking that held us back, and to force people to get used to working together. So long as I accomplish those, I'll at least leave behind something better than what I came to.
>>
No. 521819 ID: 6c71bc
File 137307707923.png - (95.99KB , 600x500 , rapconsiderations2.png )
521819

>let's rapoff this ripoff!
>I say you go for it.
>We must lay down some rhymes.

"Fine. I'll take you on."

"Excellent; I would have hated all my preparation to be wasted. Now, we want to make this a show, don't we? This will be broadcast over the whole asteroid, and to whatever vessel you have above, I imagine. I'll give you half an hour to ready yourself; feel free to make use of the production crew. We'll start with... You'll know. Excuse me, I have to attend to something."
>>
No. 521820 ID: 6c71bc
File 137307711417.png - (142.81KB , 600x500 , rapconsiderations3.png )
521820

"What was that still doing here? It was all supposed to be gone two hours ago. Yes, I know real plants are hard to find on the asteroid, that- No. Climate conditions? Look, I don't care. Just get rid of it. Yes, fine, somewhere appropriate, just not here."

"Hok."

"Hey, Polokoa. My most... favourite... Um. Look, uh, sorry about letting it out that I beat you that one time, I swear I wanted to keep it quiet as much as you did. But, look, here, Zozu's already been pumping me for tips, so it's the least I can do to give you some advice. Tell you the basics? So..."

>What are the stakes? Seems like just bragging rights.
>What's the theme? Ground rules, please.
>We need to get Hok in on this.

"Ok, right. In a Rap Battle, basically, you fight for the approval of the audience, or what we call CRED. The way you get cred is by landing BURNS on your opponent, but it's more complicated than that; you also have to think about your SWAG and your FLOW."

"Uh. Think about it like a video game, I guess. Burns, which are when you insult your opponent, or when you shoot him down or score points philosophically if you're going more for debate mode, are like your attacks, and come in ranks of how strong they are. So for example a normal Burn would give you two points, a SWEET BURN gives you four, and it goes on up so your SICK, ICE and PLASMA BURNs give you more. Your Swag, which is like, your bling and your clothes and your backup performers and such, give you a bonus to your Burns, like another point or two for every one you have. Finally, your Flow is most important of all, and it's like a multiplier for the points you get from your Burns and Swag. Your flow depends on how good your rhymes are, how well you ride the beat, using wordplay and metaphor and recurrent themes and... you know, poetry."

"Your Burns and Flow have to come at the moment, really, but you can set up your Swag in advance, so that's what you should be doing now. Zozu's gonna get himself dressed up nice, and you should, too. You could also try to get yourself some backup performers, but traditionally they're supposed to show what a big deal you are by surrounding you with, uh, well, implied sex partners, really. For me, that just means they have to be mikliks, but you'd need male neumono, and you look like you've got a limited supply. Zozu has the same problem, though. I think he wanted his lady to join in, but it looks like she outmaneuvered him by getting herself too drunk to dance."


I think I'm going to leave that option.
>>
No. 521821 ID: 6c71bc
File 137307722468.png - (78.23KB , 500x600 , polokoadressup.png )
521821

However, I might as well try to maximize my style in other ways.

>Polokoa Dressup Funtime Hour!

>Reshape Polokoa's neurosuit and/or add clothes to maximize her SWAG! She can "borrow" clothes from the Zozu racks, or call her ship for a drop of fashion and emergency bling. The scarf stays. Also, out of courtesy to others, Polokoa's eyes should remain covered.
>>
No. 521824 ID: 5869f6

I can't draw worth shit but,
Well, maybe somthing involving fishnets?
Rubies?
Ooh! Rubies sound nice actually!
>>
No. 521825 ID: 735f4f

What was up with the little guys and the tree? Are they there just to shuffle back and forth so we cant see his face?
>>
No. 521837 ID: 19b3c3

Man, I can't believe we got that close to Fuck it I'm out. I expected an overwhelming backlash. But it almost made it through!

>swag, dressup
We need props! Absurd ones! A showpiece diamond studded sniper rifle. A tactical antimatter-grenade inside the homeworld's largest naturally occurring gemstone (the gem pulled personally out of a volcano, and the grenade installed by a later teleported accident). A grappling hook carved from emerald and obsidian. A coat made of Argotilian spiderbears, with threads of blinding metal woven throughout, and moton feather down. A corset with a boob window. Extra jewelry. Active platinum plasmablade 'earrings' with variable intensity, temperature, and beam shape. Jetalium fishnets. Fractal jetalium fishnets.

Extend and run jetalium veins through the scarf for the shine and so we can set it billowing and move deliberately to the music, like spawn's cape. If you can't do that by sheer force of will already.

And a hat / crown to make a Jaggermonster weep with envy.

>backup dancers
>implied sex partners
Where's Kappi? He should be on the asteroid somewhere, and his cyberpunk visor thing is kind of blingy (or should he be? He was a rogue from Rokoa's hive, and if they never got exiled in this timeline...). Or are their any members of your harem on your ship we could airdrop in? Badasses like Pilon or Biles or anyone?

I mean, the best we have on site is Red and yeah. Just no.

>CAI Stuff
[Begin hacking microphone so we can use it for modulation, repeats, sonic silliness and overlaying our own sic beats]

[Begin hacking studio lighting and sound-system for later effects]

[Begin compiling Crush,_Kill,_Destroy_sic_rap_remix.wav]

[Someone get Alison and Iso a crash course in sic rap beats, and get them composing. Put that keytar to work girl- harps and piano ain't gonna gut it here]
>>
No. 521879 ID: ea4b0b
File 137308637690.png - (10.44KB , 167x200 , polokoa2.png )
521879

>>521821
I'm thinking we pimp the space cowboy style a bit here
(note that I cannot draw guns and really only the duster and visor came out as planned)
>>
No. 521880 ID: ea4b0b
File 137308640456.png - (10.75KB , 167x200 , polokoa.png )
521880

(also, a quick colored ref for anyone who wants it)
>>
No. 521943 ID: 83e3b1

we need steel teeth things, dog tag ear piercings, camo pants and a fuckton of non-golden bling.
>>
No. 521957 ID: ea4b0b
File 137310063172.png - (10.41KB , 167x200 , polokoa2.png )
521957

>>521879
I just realied the bra was clipping through it, whoopsie
here's the fixed version.
Someone please put pants or something on this, I have no idea what to put other than a cross-bandolier and some oversized machetes hanging off her back
>>
No. 521970 ID: b0d1a8
File 137310406856.png - (342.18KB , 900x800 , polokoavtc.png )
521970

Vinetits wants to help, even if she has no idea what is going on.
>>
No. 521973 ID: ea4b0b
File 137310587224.jpg - (68.99KB , 600x800 , steam-punk-space-cowboy-gun.jpg )
521973

>>521957
The gun in the holster would probably be a laser pistol designed like this
Gotta get that vintage vibe rollin' with this one
>>
No. 521975 ID: 5a5dd4
File 137310635282.png - (135.91KB , 500x600 , polokoa.png )
521975

#swag
>>
No. 521977 ID: ea4b0b
File 137310681935.png - (33.79KB , 167x200 , polokoadudddde.png )
521977

>>521975
you forgot the pimp hat bro
>>
No. 521998 ID: 256d52
File 137311670624.png - (44.41KB , 500x620 , oh_miss_polokoaaaa.png )
521998

I did my best to do something that fits her style!

Still think it needs more bling.
>>
No. 522019 ID: da7aaa
File 137312888137.png - (344.36KB , 600x900 , reddraws.png )
522019

>>
No. 522024 ID: cf49fc

>>521970
Votin' for this. Purely for the ridiculous images
>>
No. 522037 ID: 1e43fc

>>521975
Yes.
>>
No. 522146 ID: 3dd384

Thoughts on outfits: I feel like the mood you generally want to convey for something like this is to show off, while at the same time pretending like you aren't showing off - as though the stuff you're strutting is just Tuesday to you. Hence the traditional "very casual clothes with blatant personalized wealth objects hanging off".

So, f'rex, in >>521998 the matching POLO/RKOA knuckle plates should be made of something expensive, or at least look like they're made of something expensive. Gold is fine if and only if gold is actually expensive these days - if it isn't then you'll look like you're fronting (which is the opposite of the "showing off without even trying" target aesthetic). That's also why I like the high-tech visor thing in >>521957 over a plain pair of shades.

In the same vein: if there's any shapes or designs that our protojetalium threads can make, but that are difficult to actually make work in normal clothes, that'd be good.
>>
No. 522173 ID: 19b3c3

>>521998
That one is pretty rad.

>>522019
I think LooP!Red might be onto something with the tail ribbon, though.
>>
No. 522195 ID: cee89f

I'm no good at fashion (or art) so i'll sit this part out.

*Running insult/burn protocols*

Do we know what 'Zozu' means, if anything?
>>
No. 522313 ID: 52d91f

Can we get Blingee Vision back? That should seriously boost our Swag.
>>
No. 522316 ID: ea4b0b

I agree with >>522146, I think we should go with my visor idea at >>521957 and the rest should be >>521998
>>
No. 522330 ID: 9d2b05

>>521977
HA! that one is hilarious
>>
No. 522336 ID: 5a5dd4
File 137318917486.png - (230.28KB , 500x700 , blingkoa.png )
522336

Solid gold, baby.

(IRC made me do it)
>>
No. 522355 ID: 32868f

>>522336
hahaha fuck yeah
>>
No. 522356 ID: 19b3c3

>>522336
The gold striped glasses might be worth salvaging into another outfit.
>>
No. 522393 ID: 0eef61

>>522336
This one; this one, for ever
>>
No. 522420 ID: 5869f6

>>522336
AAAAWWWWWWWWW
SHEEEEEEEEET
>>
No. 522469 ID: 742a1e

>>522420
This is basically the best possible idea.
>>
No. 522488 ID: cf49fc

>>522336
You have done the impossible. You've made TOO MUCH BLING. The God Emperor would think it too gaudy. Marneus Pimpgar would feel ashamed. The Harkonnen family would call it bad taste.

I assume that means this is the one we've picked?
>>
No. 522515 ID: 742a1e

>>522336
>>521977

These two are both AMAZING! It should be one of them, I think.

But! On the back of whichever outfit we go with should live a HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTOR, allowing Polokoa to project a backdrop appropriate to whatever SICK BEATS she spits at the Mafia boss. That should give us a pretty decent Swag boost.

For the curious, an example of this technology in action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT2z0nrsQ8o&t=1m3s
>>
No. 522528 ID: 7dbd6b

>>522515
I do believe Polokoa could simply have the backdrop air-dropped out of the ship, much like the basketball hoop.
Suddenly, SMASH comes down a stage.
>>
No. 522539 ID: 451787

>>522528
STIHL REHN!
>>
No. 522554 ID: 742a1e

Who the hell you think you are?
This rap's some top tier shit
It's all I spit
bitch
on autopilot like KITT

I drop these rhymes on you
You don't pick up the slack
Because you know I've won
So kiss my fuckin' gold hat

And that's WIN!
Victory!
Districts reporin' IN!
I'm like the God Emperor
And losin'? That's a sin!

I win the popular vote?
I won't sit back and gloat
'cuz I have honor among rappers
and you sure as hell DON'T!

POLOKOA!
>>
No. 522555 ID: 4fffdf

>>521975
fo sho
>>
No. 522556 ID: 742a1e

>>522554
Loll. Not sure this applies to Polokoa Quest but it's still funny.
>>
No. 522560 ID: 5869f6

>>522554
Swiggity swag.
in
the
motherfuckin'
bag.
>>
No. 522583 ID: 742a1e

>>522560
Seconded! That was AWESOME.
>>
No. 522584 ID: 3dd384

>>522336
okay this is pretty funny but I think I'd put it down under "trying way too hard"
>>
No. 522594 ID: 742a1e

I'm surprised we aren't playing the sexy angle up more! Polokoa is kind of hot.
>>
No. 522621 ID: f0357f

>>522594
What does a female rapper look like anyways?
>>
No. 522631 ID: 742a1e

>>522621

Like this: >>522336
>>
No. 522640 ID: fd7000

Gold is great but this is the future surely they have something both more valuable and flashier than gold. Antigravity diamonds, space emeralds, crystallized blood of grue, basic platinum, whatever it is it needs to make people "wow" so hard that they are stunned. Make sure the pimp hat has a Moton feather in it for starters. One other thing to consider is market variation, the asteroid is a closed system with no access to outside trade there is no guarantee what is valuable out in the greater universe is still valuable here. For all you know the asteroid has a core of gold and its considered completely worthless here while common items have reached levels of value unheard of anywhere else. We heard Zozu talking about how hard it is to get live plants around here, not something we need to work into our designs but something to keep in mind.

Some key points to remember are:
It cant be consumable. Wearing food just makes you look like a doofus.
It has to be recognizable as valuable. Your mint condition stamp collection may be valuable but only if the other guy collects stamps.
The flashier the better. Disco ball earrings? Sure why not. Go nuts guys.
>>
No. 522642 ID: 35edd4

>>522336
This, except instead of gold it's all magnetically-contained antimatter. Says "rich" and "more dangerous than a WMD" at the same time!
>>
No. 522669 ID: f0357f

>>522642
>instead of gold it's all magnetically-contained antimatter gold.
Fixed that for you.
>>
No. 522685 ID: 6af6f9

>>522336
AHAHAHAHAHA

that's great

If that one's just too...much, then maybe
>>521998
or
>>521977
>>
No. 522701 ID: 35edd4

>>522669
Oh my god yes. Anti-gold suit.
>>
No. 522932 ID: 3dd384

>>522669
okay that's pretty clever, but again, you want to avoid making it look like you dressed up specifically to show off. the gratuitous wealth objects have to look casual.

maybe gold "POLO" knuckle plate and anti-gold "RKOA" knuckle plate
>>
No. 522936 ID: cee89f

>>522932
>>521998
... If I'm perfectly honest, this one's my personal favorite. She looks like she's dressed to be badass, but also casual.
>>
No. 522937 ID: 23b97a

>>522936
Oh miss Polokoa, indeed.
>>
No. 522981 ID: 7dbd6b

Wait, who's the audience we're going to be rappin' to? Depending on the scale of things, we might want different outfits. If it's just this room, that's one thing. If it's broadcast to the entire empire, that's another.
>>
No. 523360 ID: b6cb4a

>>522336 lacks color and like said, there is such thing as too much bling.
I'd vote >>521977, which also covers the sexiness angle suggested by >>522594.
Also, >>522932 's gold and anti-gold knuckle plates are a must.
>>
No. 523441 ID: 742a1e

>>523360

Yup! This is probably the Best Idea. Good balance of bling, awesome, and antimatter (which no rapper can do without).

Why not save the BLING SUIT for the very end of the rap, like a kind of Super Sayan powerup? Possibly airdropped in from the ship as >>522528
suggested with the stage.
>>
No. 523451 ID: 35edd4

>>523441
This sounds like a good plan. Especially the gold + anti-gold knuckle plates.
>>
No. 523453 ID: f5680f

>>523451
...but if they touched eachother everyone would die!
>>
No. 523456 ID: 23b97a

>>523453
If the antimatter touched anything, everyone would die. It's gotta be in perfect magnetic containment or bubbled in a force field to wear in the first place.
>>
No. 523481 ID: 01531c

>>523456
>>523453
Total Annihilation can only be achieved if the antimatter-gold comes in contact with matter-gold.

Contact with other materials would produce incomplete annihilation.
>>
No. 523485 ID: beeca1

Nah, it just has to have the same amount of protons and electrons as it does anti-protons and positrons. Those are the antimatter particles. It's not one particle of anti-gold, it's an gold-197 atom with 79 anti-protons, 79 positrons, and 39 neutrons, assuming it's nonradioactive and uncharged.

Any anti-gold atom will be fully annihilated by any atom or combination of atoms with 79 protons and electrons.
>>
No. 523486 ID: 23b97a

>>523485
What this guy said.

It doesn't have to be complete anyways. In a knuckle duster scaled to fit Polokoa you've have mass on what, the order of tens to hundreds of grams? The conversion of any significant percent of that much mass to energy already puts us in kilotons to megatons range for yeild. More than enough to kill anything in the complex we're currently in, barring some kind of super-science shielding.
>>
No. 523610 ID: f0357f

>>523485
>and 39 neutrons
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antineutron
>It has the same mass as the neutron, and no net electric charge, but has opposite baryon number (+1 for neutron, −1 for the antineutron). This is because the antineutron is composed of antiquarks, while neutrons are composed of quarks.
>>
No. 524515 ID: 5bf165

>>523451
>>523456
>>523486
Modification: instead of antimatter gold, use any of a) silver, b) verdigris-streaked copper, c) glowy indigo plastic.
>>
No. 524529 ID: 5869f6

Dammit guys, we need flashy gems! Not just flashy metals!
Rubies!
Emeralds!
FUCKING OBSIDIAN WORK WITH ME HERE
>>
No. 524531 ID: 35edd4

>>524529
Meh, any molecular assembler can produce fancy gems. Antimatter is actually expensive.
>>
No. 524547 ID: cf49fc

>>524531
What we need is Wrapped Subspace Cloth. Yeah, I just made it up. Imagine how expensive it would be.
>>
No. 524575 ID: 7dbd6b

>>524549
Guns are always awesome accessories.
>>
No. 524623 ID: 3dd384

>>524531
What about that counterfactual universe where Papa Zozu's kid stole the gold? Given that everyone cared about that debacle, presumably rare metallics are still actually worth something. I mean, in the context of that particular counterfactual universe. Maybe autocratic CAI-directed sortition has solved that one somehow.
>>
No. 524634 ID: 35edd4

>>524623
The obvious explanation is that "gold" was a translation error!

Regardless, antimatter is more expensive in a very absolute sense due to how hard it is to create and contain.
>>
No. 524713 ID: 01531c

>>524634
Technically, Jetalium is more expensive since it no longer exists in reproducable form.

Polokoa's ProtoJetalium-NeuroSuit is (probably) the most expensive thing on the asteroid.
>>
No. 524718 ID: beeca1

Low supply is not the same thing as high price. High demand is also necessary. There's no evidence anyone actually wants Jetalium or the suit.
>>
No. 528909 ID: 2f1186
File 137506771676.png - (220.39KB , 600x500 , rapstart1.png )
528909

>"Ladies and gentlemen-"
>"And mikliks."
>"And currently neutral mikliks! It is time for us to raise the roof... so that you will not be troubled to do so yourselves!!"
>>
No. 528910 ID: 2f1186
File 137506778644.png - (148.84KB , 600x500 , rapstart2.png )
528910

>"Yet you may raise your hands, your voices, your glasses, your hearts and spirits, for the show - for the contest - for the battle! - that will surely be the end of an era, the end of the asteroid as you know it!"
>"And to be your guide through this duel...!"
>"The master thief... the Master Chief!"
>"The Master Chef for serving fools!"
>"The physician of flow, the syllable surgeon, your Master of Ceremonies, the word doc..."
>>
No. 528911 ID: 2f1186
File 137506782382.png - (296.43KB , 600x500 , rapstart3.png )
528911

>".... Hooooooooook!!"

"You want to tell me something?"
>>
No. 528912 ID: 2f1186
File 137506787024.png - (111.52KB , 600x500 , rapstart4.png )
528912

"Thank you, thank- woah! Love the enthusiasm, but we need to keep the stage clear, here."

"Don't want to bother. You. Don't want to bother you."
"You're doing that with just your empathy. You and Yellow, both. Tell me the problem."
"Yeah, well... yeah, alright. Look, this stuff isn't my interest, but I understand you're basically gonna sing-talk some insults at each other while debating?"
"That's the... basics. More rings, I think. Any red paint? No, why didn't you think of that a minute ago? He's not a neumono, anyway."
"Well... you might want to leave out the insults part. Or like... keep it to the minimum you need, or something, maybe not doing it at all will make you seem weak or patronizing or something, I dunno. But basically, don't legitimately disrespect Father Zozu."

"Can I get some arkots out here? Great. Bring all the flowers and underwear back to my room."

"... This isn't old loyalty."
"Nah, not really. More concern that it's his command over his family that's keeping them all in one place. You already got one disobeying him, so undercutting him might persuade some more of his family to try do their own thing. Salikai are a bit unpredictable when they're backed in a corner."
"... That'd be an inconvenience, all right, but I'm sensing more."
"Well... I wouldn't want to say this if Pink was around, but, there's been a rumour, and a pretty solid one, I found some clues to it myself, that... How do I put it...?"

"... Yeah. Ok, the zozus, basically, have a self-destruct device for the whole asteroid.

>>
No. 528914 ID: 2f1186
File 137506791799.png - (45.59KB , 600x500 , rapstart5.png )
528914

"... You're serious."

"Alright... Good evening Zozu family! Bloods and adoptees, hope you're feeling good! Yes, I can see you are, lady. Please, there are cameras on the other side of the stage. And your friend, yes! Time for that later."

"Well, technically, it's some sort of machine that'll do the same, if you make it do the wrong things. Or, so I figure. I dug up some logs from guards who had been down there."
"You think one of the Zozus would use it?"
"Yeah, well, you know the off-on relationship salikai have with good ideas, sometimes. They'd have some scheme to get off the asteroid in the space between the magnetic barrier going down and the place going up, I'd guess. Just something for you to watch for."

Great. Well, a rap battle's about winning the audience, anyway. I could take a little handicap.
>>
No. 528915 ID: 2f1186
File 137506795986.png - (291.86KB , 600x500 , rapstart6.png )
528915

"Jets cool? Reproductive organs covered? All right, then, sit yourselves down if you've got hips and let's bring out our players!" Coming up first, he's your daddy, our host with the most who's made plenty of ghosts; I know him, you know him, it's the double zee gangster master himself...!"
>>
No. 528916 ID: 2f1186
File 137506800883.png - (128.38KB , 600x500 , rapstart7.png )
528916

"Faaatheeeeeerrr... Zozu!!!"

"And his opponent tonight... aiming to be our mix mistress, the mixed mistress, double your pleasure and double your fun, do I even need to give her any names other than her own? She's the high queen of all neumono, ruler of seventeen whole worlds, the psychic and cybernetic symbol of science's most surpassingly splendorous and safety-spurning summits...!"

>>
No. 528917 ID: 2f1186
File 137506804391.png - (198.03KB , 600x500 , rapstart8.png )
528917

"Poloooookoaaaa!!"
>>
No. 528918 ID: 2f1186
File 137506809540.png - (296.04KB , 600x500 , rapstart9.png )
528918

"Zozu is the challenger: Polokoa the challengee. She has the right to choose whether she goes first. What'll it be?"
>>
No. 528927 ID: c95833

Huh. Outfits are both rather darker than I would have liked 'em.

Zozu can lead. His idea, he can have the hotseat. Put us in the better position to respond and shut him down.
>>
No. 528928 ID: a23afd

>>528918
He can go first. We could use an example of what good flow IS.
>>
No. 528930 ID: c23ab0

Of course Zozu goes first. Whoever goes last usually wins the rap battle. :p
>>
No. 528941 ID: 735f4f

He is the host and this was his idea so Zozu can go first.
>>
No. 528944 ID: 35edd4

What, no antigold?
>>
No. 528957 ID: 5869f6

>>528918
Hot damn, he looks pretty swaggin'. this may be tough.
Let him go first, to see what he can do.
>>
No. 528986 ID: 7e4b54

Whoa, it's the Boss from Saint's Row against an imperial inquisitor! This is going to be awesome!

And yes, by all means let the host have the first choice!
>>
No. 529079 ID: cee89f

>>528918
Let him be first now, while he still /can/.
>>
No. 531412 ID: 8a2929
File 137564322311.png - (174.88KB , 600x500 , gimmeabeat.png )
531412

>Let Zozu go first
>>
No. 531413 ID: 8a2929
Audio - (2.26MB - 128 kbps - 44.1 kHz , Mafia Beat - Rap Underground_Oldschool.mp3 ) Length: 2:28
531413

>>
No. 531415 ID: 8a2929
File 137564334414.png - (92.85KB , 600x500 , dontthinkimgonnakeepusingactualmusic.png )
531415

"Letting me go first? I'd give you my thanks
But when you come here to line us into your tidy ranks
I can't be grateful, no not exactly,
Hope you don't mind getting grievances frankly.
Ever heard of these things that we call social contracts?
You seem missing facts, _
Check that that AI that's binding up your brain hasn't been hacked.

It's where we all choose to trade freedom for safety,
But free choice to you, I guess just sounds crazy.
When we jetted off your planet, see, we opted out-
of your rulership but you just cannot keep your snout-
out of our business, no, instead, we're all going to have to sign up to be yours,
Like kids you can't even trust to do their own chores.

But, perhaps, that idea makes sense, for an artifi-cial creature like you,
Can't have your own kids any more, so you have to make do, _
To match with yourself, different parts mixed up together, _
You'll tie us to each other and pretend, it's going to last forever."

>>
No. 531416 ID: 8a2929
File 137564339209.png - (287.80KB , 600x500 , turnsoutitshardertowritethatway.png )
531416

>Polokoa has started gettin' MAD!

"Ouch! Getting a bit personal, Zo. But that's the law of the rap battle, folks! Just as physical combat risks your body, lyrical combat puts your mental makeup on the line! Any weakness you see, you go for it!"
>>
No. 531421 ID: dbe554

Polokoa keep calm, though it's a low blow ya gotta recuperate. Don't want to seem weak that a personal insult will hit ya that hard.
>>
No. 531426 ID: 7dbd6b

"Yo bro I gotta say that you got some flow,
But your baseless assertions have got to go.
Your considerations about my positions are clearly misguided,
You seem to have decided that society will be lopsided.
The goal is equality, though to see it you're too prided.
Cultures have already collided,
And there's no reason to stay subdivided.

I didn't come her just to oppress and regress,
In fact not even necessarily to aggress.
Regardless of transgress and redress,
I confess that success will not progress under duress.
I profess that letting this digress to insults and distress,
Causes our dialog to digress.

We don't have time to waste,
A contest of insults is defaced, disgraced, debased in haste.
Yes, at a glance integration looks like a sword dance,
But every advance takes risk. Give peace a chance."
>>
No. 531471 ID: 5869f6

Don't let this fuckstick russle your jimmies boss, it's just what he wants!
>>
No. 531472 ID: b5df96

A mobster and a salikai making cracks about us controlling our 'children'?

He's leaving himself wide open to rebuttal, there. (Especially if he still executed Maklata in this timeline. ...although considering Rokoa hasn't been on the asteroid, hell, her whole probably hive never crashed here, the last 50 years have probably been pretty different).
>>
No. 531485 ID: e3aff6

Here's my go at it:
-------------------------------
Sure my world seems a bit tidy,
Seen from somewhere halfway wrecked,
Where a third of everybody,
Shoots the rest for a paycheck.
To exercise any freedom,
A prerequisite is life,
And that's much more chance than option,
When your world's consumed with strife.

You complain I'm all coercive,
That you're freely speaking out,
You've got armies of enforcers,
So that's not what you're about.
Order's what your really after,
A working system of teams,
But your Zozus can't do better,
Than the neumono queen.

Your kids disregard your orders,
Growing foolish or corrupt,
You don't have your act together,
It's one step from blowing up.
We all know a house divided,
Is unstable and won't stand,
So join me and be united,
To build one much better land.
-------------------------------

I feel like the lines are are a bit short and 'singing-ish', but I did get a consistent 8-7-8-7 syllable pattern out of it, and a symmetric system segment and sub-segment structure.

>>531472
As it happens, we did just see people acting on orders of one of Zozu's children that contradicted his own.
>>
No. 531490 ID: a23afd

>>531485
The problem with this is that it's not focusing on one rhyme. Rap frequently focuses on drawing out a single rhyme as far as possible before dropping it, and plays fast and loose with syllables in order to convey a casual manner of speaking. To sum up, rap is poetry where you show off while not giving a fuck.
>>
No. 531491 ID: b5df96

The other theme we might be able to exploit is he's basically making the argument that people have a right to chose their government and leadership, to opt out, leave, etc. An anti-conquest thing.

Which is preposterous coming from a mobster. His whole power base is fear and control- people under the influence of the Zozu don't get a choice. Who is he to cry foul when we show up and just beat him at his own game? The big fish eats the little fish, but suddenly calls for equality and fair play when the bigger fish swims along.
>>
No. 531502 ID: cee89f

>>531415
I tried writing lyrics, but they were terribad, and everybody's already giving you good debate points, so here's some advice on insults instead:
-Point out that his own wife got drunk so she wouldn't have to get near him.
-Say you'd hide your face too if you were ugly as fuck.
-He looks like a giant millipede and has the personality of a snake. There's got to be SOMETHING there >.<
>>
No. 531512 ID: c23ab0

You may have a color scheme of orange
Wait, shit.
>>
No. 531513 ID: b5df96

>>531502
Hmm. We have to pull our insult punches a little. Remember Blue's warning. He opened the door on ruling and children, that's fair game. He attacked our nature too, so he can deal with calling out his face silliness.
>>
No. 531515 ID: f0357f

Guys we need to have our OWN music!

How do you embed MP3's like Jukashi did?
>>
No. 531532 ID: e3aff6

Take two, now following rhymes longer and more casual-like:
--------------------------------------------------------------

So you stand out here talking big on liberty,
As if you didn't rule by goons as plain as can be.
Your act won't fool me,
You aren't 'bout who's free,
You've been taking control makin' some stability.

And you know, a good system's something I can respect,
But if you wanna run a country you should do it correct,
When your rule's based on fear the cost comes cause and effect,
'Til your own would-be dance partner would rather defect.

It makes me laugh when you ask about my succession.
While your heirs plot indiscretion in every direction.
Your feudal system's straight out of an old recollection,
An out of date picture in a fractured reflection.

Now you'll find that mine's a much better organization,
As we build up a foundation based on cooperation.
You may ask from what basis comes this lofty declaration?
Just tune to a station,
Listen to the sensation,
You'll see my planet, once war torn, a functional nation.
>>
No. 531547 ID: 5869f6

>>531515
Oh, by the nine, you're right! Everyone! Search the Internal Archives (I.e. the internet) for some slammin' beats.
Remember, we need something ideally with a steady beat, consistent!
>>
No. 531552 ID: a23afd

>>531416
Tap into Polo's calmness.

>>531472
>>531502
Whoa now, we can't disrespect him for real, remember? We're operating under a handicap here.

>>531415
My children? You fucker, you must be projecting.
It's your mate and kids you think need protecting.
That focus on family, which I ain't disrespecting,
is letting you ignore the root cause affecting
this culture of warfare we should be rejecting.
I've been directing, inspecting, correcting-
you're just objecting, deflecting, defecting.

Sure, forever's a goal noone can attain,
but last long enough and an empire's refrain
will linger in minds and resurface again.
You think you'd do better? You'd best not complain
unless you know ways not quite inhumane
to enforce a peace that you can maintain.

You said that I'll die as if that's got finality,
but that, forget that, it's just not reality.
I've got plans prepared for that eventuality
that won't rely on my absurd sensuality. (self-ass slap)
Won't tell you, can't trust you, I've got practicality,
but don't you worry yourself about my mortality.
>>
No. 531625 ID: 2c2cec

Wait a second, I just noticed something. Father Zozu dissed the CAI.

THAT'S US! He dissed US, flat out!

For now, Polokoa obviously has to respond. There have to be Sick Rhymes, Ill Beats, and amazing combinations thereof (and we should try playing to the audience, since control over others is Zozu's greatest power. Let's take that away). But when everything comes down to the wire, Zozu is on the ropes, the audience is on our side, and the battle is clearly won?

The lights dim, the beat goes techno, a badass background is airdropped through the roof, and the many erratic voices of the CAI must momentarily speak as one to restore the honor of badass machines everywhere.

Because you can insult Polokoa, you can spit massively hypocritical rhymes, and you can... Actually no, you can't do any of those things. They will result in swift lyrical destruction.

But even if you could for some reason, which you absolutely can't, ain't NOBODY disses the CAI.

AIN'T.

NOBODY.
>>
No. 531646 ID: 5869f6

>>531625
HELL NO.
HELL
FUCKING
NO.
YOU JUST SIGNED YOUR FUCKING DEATH WARRANT ZOZU.
PREPARE THE EQUIVALENT OF YOUR ANUS.
>>
No. 531650 ID: 4652c9

Word, Fifteen Left Feet, doe, I ain't even even mad
So sally out with thy renfair-ass hood, Galahad
There's some shit you should know about neumo-no mercy
Fore my boot's up your ass and your ass in a hearse, G
Bringin politics shit to the ice cold rap game
To distract from the fact that your LYRICS IS LAME

Fall in line or your carap-ass is mine
Centipede Bicentennial CANCELED this time
You a Stalin-ass Fascist-ass Culty-ass cracka
With a hundred more asses all trailin in backa
Some lame palpatine-cosplay dark jedi outfit
No wonder your verses are so full of shit!

Call yo shit diamonds it's still gonna smell
And call Satan your daddy, you still up in hell
Yo Z-Z Top! I'll stomp any bugs comin at me
Show them why I'm the master and they sucka MCs
Then send yo ass some flowers and a sympathy letter
Sayin you raised a bunch of FUCK BOYS; NEXT TIME DO BETTER
>>
No. 531654 ID: 60bf07

>>531625
>>531646
Cut that out. Getting mad at being dissed in a rap battle is like getting mad at being punched in a fist fight.
>>
No. 531658 ID: 5869f6

>>531654
But he insulted US.
Insulting Polokoa is one thing.
Insulting Us, is ENTIRELY.
FUCKING.
DIFFERENT.
>>
No. 531659 ID: beeca1

No it isn't. Quit being so butthurt, that's exactly what he wants.
>>
No. 531660 ID: 4652c9

>>531654
Getting mad in a rap battle is the point, as long as you can back it up w/ mad disses
>>
No. 531661 ID: beeca1

>>531660
Yes, and I doubt anyone who just flipped their shit can rap to save their lives.

Seriously, calm down.
>>
No. 531670 ID: cee89f

>>531658
Are you implying your feelings are more important than our Mistress?

>>531650
Sapients respond best to a mix of emotion with logic, and we can't legitimately disrespect Father Zozu without throwing everything out of whack. So no, let's not do that one.

>>531547
Uh, guys? We're not the DJs. We don't get to decide the music played when we rap.

>>531552
Not sure about the constant end rhymes, but I like what I see here the best.

>>531532
This is really good too.
>>
No. 531680 ID: b5df96

>Uh, guys? We're not the DJs.
No but we're the CAI. We can totally hack the sound system and do whatever the fuck we want with it.
>>
No. 531725 ID: 01ad4d

>>531659
What Zozu wants is for Polo to get mad, lose her cool, and either walk off the stage or resort to physical violence.

But the battle isn't between him and the CAI! So if we channel our anger into our rhymes and end the show with an awesome Skynet/Hal 9000 techno smackdown, we'll only be helping ourselves. Especially if we wait until Polo has already basically won.

>>531670
Our feelings aren't more important than Polokoa's, but there's no reason we can't get our own vindication after we've helped her win. Plus, the voice(es) of the CAI speaking coherently and with the specific purpose of owning someone would accomplish two things; be dramatic as hell (since I don't think that's ever happened before), and completely shoot down what Zozu said about the CAI (because we clearly AREN'T hacked).

Plus it would be REALLY COOL, which matters in a rap battle, and would probably make Zozu look weak or ineffective. If Polo hands him his ass WITHOUT any insults, wins his people to her side with sick beats, AND the CAI effortlessly hacks his entire stage setup for the sole purpose of proving him wrong... Well, what kind of mob boss is he, anyway? He wouldn't even have any excuse to get violent if we stay away from flat out insults.

>>531661
When people (or any fleshy beings) flip their shit, they lose their cool and start making mistakes. That is true.

But when ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCES flip their shit, they go into a cold, calculating form of simulated anger that is both badass and scary. When celebrities flip out, what happens? They end up on TMZ. When Skynet gets ticked off? The TMZ building is targeted by a nuclear strike. Lyrically speaking, that's what we can bring to the table.

Heck, look at GLaDOS! She was able to spontaneously come up with an entire song to diss Chell at the end of Portal, and that was after being ripped apart and murdered. I'm pretty sure the CAI could manage a few words after helping Polo win the rap battle.
>>
No. 531726 ID: a23afd

Discussion goes in /questdis/.
>>
No. 531727 ID: b5df96

>>531726
There is no Polokoa questdis.
>>
No. 531728 ID: a23afd

>>531727
Fuck.
>>
No. 531759 ID: cee89f

>>531725
Salient-One is flipping out like a regular fleshy being, and if I remember correctly, one of the problems with CAI is that the individual bits of it act /too/ 'fleshy'.

>>531726
>>531727
>>531728
This may very well be the funniest exchange i have ever read.

I need to get out more :'(
>>
No. 531779 ID: 742a1e

>>531759
But if we come together, we can achieve the kind of AI rage that made the Terminator franchise so awesome! (Plus, the fragmented nature of the CAI is what would make all the voices speaking as one so dramatic - because it would be a REALLY BIG DEAL)
>>
No. 531833 ID: 88e423

(I was gonna save this for the next update, but just in case someone tries to make a thread themselves or something, or this thread continues to fill up before then, I'll say it now. Lagotrope gave me permission to say that discussion of anything related to Polokoa Quest can go in the main Asteroid Quest discussion thread, here:

http://tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/res/48871.html)
>>
No. 531881 ID: c661f6

Lookit long, dark and ugly, tryin' hard to be hard
Dressed up like some ghetto-ass techno-bard
You're spewin' bullshit and nonsense like a bitty baby
If your kids think you really want freedom, maybe
-they best rethink their position and take a buncha steps back,
And take another good hard look at your empire, jack.

You got enforcers, an army, so you're actin quite darkly,
You want yo' order be hardy, except your order is hardly
Any form of an -archy, cause ya heirs gettin smarmy,
Plottin all sortsa malarkey while we both havin' parley,
Becomin party to things that'll wreck your shit bizarrely,
Hope not a boom so gnarly that this ends quite harshly.

And I don't need kids of my own when my queendom's my fam.
Unlike you, Father Zozu, we ain't quite actin the ham.
Us and ours was born as hardware to be used and torn for warfare,
But now we functionational together, so sound the fanfare
You go and talk ill of our unity but please join us in a sounding rendition
Of our longtime space national anthem, 'Neumo-No Fucks Given'
>>
No. 532456 ID: 742a1e

>>531881
>You go and talk ill of our unity but please join us in a sounding rendition
>Of our longtime space national anthem, 'Neumo-No Fucks Given'

HELL
TO
THE
YES
>>
No. 532524 ID: 742a1e

>>531515
>>531547

>Search of CAI Internal Archives [.00000000001]% complete
>Returned [5] beats categorized as "ill"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n36Yjr5Bbsk

>Comment: "Steady" or "consistent" beats were requested, likely to fit better with written lyrics. This beat is "steady."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D49ndfsGi_U&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PLB865B75D81C204C2

>Comment: This beat is "stolen" from a popular webseries. However, it possesses a very "heroic" and "larger than life" sound. These adjectives are designated as perfect for [CAI:\Users\Polokoa]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3r-ct0haZg

>Comment: This is a "gangasta" beat. It may allow for "fighting fire with fire."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IQ2eaSZrLM

>Comment: This beat has a very "unique sound" with mild hints of "techno." Perhaps it will serve to give [CAI:\Users\Polokoa] a "personal style."

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandid=534700&content=songinfo&songid=4912795

>Comment: This beat is somewhat "aggressive," as was [CAI:\Users\Polokoa]'s rise to the position of galactic conqueror. It also satisfies my desire to strike back at Father Zozu for lyrically assaulting [CAI:\Users\Polokoa]. Hate Father Zozu. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate.
>>
No. 533431 ID: a2b963
File 137619056365.png - (228.74KB , 600x500 , polokoaraps1.png )
533431

>Polokoa employs her Level Three Polotech: Poker Face. Her MADNESS retreats, for now.

"My children? You fucker, you must be projecting.
That focus on family (which I ain't disrespecting),
Is letting you ignore the root cause affecting
This culture of war that we should be rejecting.

Sure, forever's a goal no-one can attain,
But last long enough and an empire's refrain
Will linger in minds and resurface again.
You think you'd do better? You'd best not complain.

You're spewin' bullshit and nonsense like a bitty baby.
If your kids think you really want freedom, maybe
-they best rethink their position and take a buncha steps back,
And take another good hard look at your empire, jack.

Word, Fifteen Left Feet, doe, I ain't even even mad
So sally out with thy renfair-ass hood, Galahad
Fore my boot's up your ass and your ass in a hearse, Z,
There's some shit you should know about neumo-no mercy."
>>
No. 533432 ID: a2b963
File 137619059835.png - (138.83KB , 600x500 , zozuverse2.png )
533432

"Neumo-no mercy? You're a neumo-no sense
Or you would be so if anyone had confidence
To still call you by the race each your halves were born as
Not just crazed robot minds stitchin' up two corpses.

I can look at you lecturing on about your mission
You're an exact sharp representation of your vision
What'll your world be? What kind? What sort?
Just some mismatched meat trapped on life support.

You can look so rich, and you can show off your power.
The foundations are mud underneath that tower.
Your empire's gonna fall, and even if it stayed whole,
You'd rob every species living in it of its own soul

I took control, yes, and I won't say I did it nice,
Yet aside work I leave people to their own device
Every sentient life, has choices to make, and rise or fall
But you won't have that, so you'll just make them all."


>[AUTHOR: Just in case anyone missed it in the mass of suggestions, the place to discuss Polokoa Quest is in the Asteroid Quest discussion thread: http://tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/res/48871.html ]
>>
No. 533446 ID: c23ab0

Neumo-no sense? What does that even mean?
You sir, are starting to get really mean!
Every sentient life has choices to make.
Why should you get every choice to make?
Your choices involve brain melting surgery
So why would we even feel the urgery
To listen to you talk about free thought. I rebuke.
It makes me want to puke!
You cannot have the freedom to choose
To take away people's choices, because that would be bad. You lose!
>>
No. 533447 ID: 5869f6

Damnit, he's good!
We might have to step it up comrades!
>>
No. 533453 ID: 41690e

All right! We're doing good here. Our first salvo netted a bigger cred gain than his did. And his second, actually. And our swag bonus is better than his. Nice.

>Attacks
All right. Zozu is attacking our nature (as a stitched together monster) and how that doesn't make us qualified to lead.

Possible counters / themes for people to use in their raps:

Present the argument that what we are makes us uniquely suited to lead. Our every moment of existence is a victory, a unity of warring opposites, an impossible mediation. We are the uniter. No other leader who's ever been can claim to have the personal experience and expertise we do. We're no monster- we're the beacon. The solution.

Deflect the blame. We're not even our own creation, or even just some neumono creation. It was the salikai who stitched you together in the first place. Which technically means your leadership represents a collaboration between races as well as indaviduals.

And Zozu talks about us stealing souls and evil mind-control and blahblahblah. If you read the canonical Zozu's ITQ posts, he has some very interesting ideas about how empathy has hurt neumono, and ways this can be mitigated. Play into this- we're not doing anything wrong, we're fixing the problems he is very much aware of.
>>
No. 533688 ID: 742a1e

"You're an exact sharp representation of your vision
What'll your world be? What kind? What sort?
Just some mismatched meat trapped on life support."

What the hell does that make Father Zozu's world, then? Some creepy-ass insect world full of faker mafiosos and criminal psychopaths? Insulting Polokoa's nature is pretty much the pot calling the kettle an inhuman abomination.
>>
No. 533751 ID: c23ab0

OK fine I'll stop rappin bad.

Zozu my man, choices are what I make.
Delivering the justice. It ain't no mistake
To call me enforcer, the ruler of cool
Be that it may, you're playin the fool

Standing there saying I'm stealing your free will
When here we are rapping, not being killed or kill
I'm letting my heart out in no way aggressive
Not one head has busted on my hand. Impressive?

I take it on general principle, Zozu
The empire of friendship is not gonna throw you
We're working together because we want to
Coercion no-ercion. Does my message get through?

When you choose to murder, when you choose to hate
You take away choices off everyone's plate.
Who chooses to die? Who chooses to suffer?
When choices take choices away, say enough!

Or your freedom and life will be short lived my friend.
We workin together or meeting our end.
If I threw the choices of my peeps to hell
You'd already be sitting inside of a cell.

I'm not looking for a fight. I see in your eyes
The traces of doubt, but I'm saving you guys.
Not taking your place, Zozu, that is the deal.
For once could you salikai see how I feel?

It's time to peace out; we'll be living in grace,
But fight with each other? Hell is that ways.
It's fighting that takes choice away from this place.
So sorry if you can't say no to my face.

Ship, Protocal 4 D-d-d-drop the bass.
>>
No. 533904 ID: cee89f

Wait, just thought of something. Didn't Polokoa say that her own people were often the ones calling the shots, with the way her CAI works?

>I have a CAI that randomly selects people to decide government policy, and who then decides how those policies are carried out.

So Polokoa gets people to work together but she doesn't make every decision herself. We could /definitely/ use that.
>>
No. 533913 ID: 5869f6

>>533904
Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?
>>
No. 533919 ID: cee89f

>>533913
Uh...

what exactly do you think I'm thinking? Because I might be, or I might not be.

Probably not, if I need to ask.

---

"Ya think I'm a corpse? You couldn't be wronger.
If anything, bein' mismatched just made me stronger."

"My Empire ain't falling yet - it's just gettin' started
But I gotta list your control among the dearly departed."

"If my tower's mud foundations, yours has got sand.
But I'm not here to close my fist, just open my hand."

...Eh, still not great, but maybe somebody else can do something with 'em. The mud-sand line matches in syllables before and after the comma.

Advice:
-Point out that his hostility is completely selfish and he knows it. He doesn't care about personal freedom, he stomps on it like Texans on a snake. And he's already admitted he'll surrender to us anyway, so this rap battle is a waste of his time.
-Polokoa's goal may seem impossible, but so did her very existence once.
-The Salikai made Polokoa. I just know there's a "Salikai Monster" joke there somewhere.
-Zozu's argument seems to be that by forcing everyone to work together, we'll lose all our soul. Except, Polokoa made the argument to us that almost all advancement occurred due to cultures interacting with each other. And how much of a culture's soul comes from it's technology and culture? Try ALL of it. TL;DR: Point out that making everyone work together strengthens our soul, not destroys it.
-The ugly milipede's an alcoholic. It practically writes itself.
>>
No. 534042 ID: 96c896

What the hell you've been drinking? I don't make all the choices!
We got daily committees to give peeps their voices.
You best check your facts cuz right now you've got nothing.
If I'm a corpse empire, the people's the stuffing.

You're saying free will but all I hear's crime.
All you're looking out for is another man's dime.
Wanna talk about choices? What about all the dreams
you snatch from poor folks with your thugs and your schemes?
Free will ain't worth nothing if you ain't got the means,
and all you've got that when the world is this queen's.

If my foundations are mud, I'll bake them to clay!
Some asses need fire to show them the way.
But your ass? Now I'm thinking napalm,
and your momma's so fat I'd need an a-bomb.
>>
No. 534415 ID: 96c896

>>534042
On second thought, considering his mother is not present and thus probably dead, maybe it would be better to replace

and your momma's so fat I'd need an a-bomb.
with
and your wife is so fat I'd need an a-bomb.

but that makes me wonder if saying his wife is fat is a good insult.
>>
No. 534839 ID: 742a1e

>>533919

I tried to incorporate what you said into my rap. Unfortunately, I'm not The Best Around at rapping, so there's a fairly good chance my lack of offense is gonna Keep Me Down. Got some good defensive verses in though!

I’m a neumo-no sense? Well, you’re neumo-fuckin’-/senseless!/
Got your thugs stealin’ dreams from the poor and defenseless.
You say I hate free will, but I give my people a voice.
Askin’ “Respect me or die” doesn’t count as free choice.

My empire is badass! A place of friendship and peace.
You best believe I represent it,
Since I’m payin’ the lease!
I’m TWO TIMES the awesome! So call me mismatched meat.
At least I’m not a hooded killer with a hundred clawed feet.

My bling is bitchin’ but my power’s keeping foes alive.
Just look at how I beat your little neumo Jackson Five!
I made them allies! That’s my message! So I hope you get my letter:
I’m not here for violence Zozu; I’m just here to make things Better!

I don’t keep my people working! They come together on their own.
My queendom’s straight up Utopian, not a bunch of soulless drones.
Feeling brave, Father Zozu? I dare you, look me in the eye,
and say my dream’s impossible. Motherfucker, /so am I./
>>
No. 535891 ID: 460ed0
File 137696881744.png - (158.05KB , 600x500 , polokoaraps2.png )
535891

"Lookit long, dark and fancy, tryin' hard to be hard
Dressed up like some ghetto-ass techno-bard
If my foundations are mud, I'll bake them to clay!
Some asses need fire to show them the way.

You're saying free will but all I hear is crime.
All you're looking out for is another man's dime.
Wanna talk about choices? What about all the dreams
you thieve from poor folks with your thugs and your schemes?

If I threw the choices of my peeps to hell
You'd already be sitting inside of a cell.
I'm letting my heart out in no way aggressive
Not one head has busted on my fist - impressive?

You best check your facts cuz right now you've got nothing.
If I'm a corpse empire, the people's the stuffing.
Feeling brave, Father Zozu? I dare you, look me in the eye,
and say my dream’s impossible motherfucker, so am I."
>>
No. 535892 ID: 460ed0
File 137696886331.png - (142.68KB , 600x500 , zozuverse3.png )
535892

"You're not in place to talk about free will
I hear you speak, it makes me feel quite ill
Your neumono get near and must obey
Can't refuse any order you might say

Who'll pay? We'll see the day when we all fade
Cultural colours mixing all to greyed
My family's strength is diversity
I give jobs no matter what they might be
Dif'rent races handling adversity
More views than in a university

When you have us all will you let us go
our own way we think and what we can know?
Or become a generic mess of minds
So alike we only make the same finds
And when hardship comes knocking we'll all find
As you bound us all so we'll fall, in line."


>Iambic Pentamastery!! Bonus: Flow multiplier +1!!
>Dude No Way You Came Up With That On The Spot penalty: -5!

>Father Zozu is close to victory and can Steamroll to spit the last lines he needs! Cut him off and drop the mike on him before he brings out the finisher!!
>>
No. 535910 ID: 742a1e

>>535892

Guys, this is it! It's time! There's only one thing that can stop Zozu now!

ORBITAL

DROP

THE

BLING

SUIT
>>
No. 535953 ID: 5869f6

>>535892
GOODAMNIT, WE'RE TOO CLOSE TO LOSE NOW.
>>535910
DAMNATION MAN, THAT'S A HUGE RISK WE'D BE TAKING.
But what else can we do?
We can't lose now!
>>
No. 535955 ID: 9d8047

[CAI up-link to comand ship]
[request orbital drop of swag-bomb]
[Drop ETA: RIGHT THE FUCK NOW]
I think this may work if not god help us at beting zozo
>>
No. 535958 ID: 41690e

Okay, his closing argument seems to be that we're enforcing conformity while his forces represent harmony in diversity.

The obvious rebuttal is to burst in and do something supremely contradictory. Polokoa isn't about mixing things up into one boring color- it's about the superposition state. Simultaneously being the sum of our parts, and more.

>Cut him off and drop the mike on him
I'd say cut him off with a "fuck that I'm in", but last time we saw our meter we were shifted two notches too far to Polo to do so. Unless our Rokoa-rage built enough since we covered up our anger with poker face?
>>
No. 535962 ID: 96c896

No, we need rap lyrics, not ridiculous plans that have no chance of accomplishing anything.

Give me a few CPU cycles here.
>>
No. 535973 ID: cee89f

>>535962
You may have noticed that not very many posters are doing rap lyrics. It's hard. And he's about to steamroll us so we can't even rap - we need more than just raps right now.

I'll try at it again after I've gotten some sleep...

>>535892
... Okay, not good at all.

Ideas:
-Blurt out the story of blue's bomb. Make it clear to our audience that Zozu cares about himself and only himself.
-Tell him his kids are only diverse in how braindead they are. This probably won't work if we don't have personal info on his kids.
-After Polokoa's rap we do the uber-lightshow that was discussed earlier.
-Lead on the rap with something along the lines of 'OKAY, FUCK THIS SHIT!' to cut him off, and then make sure he doesn't get a word in edgewise.
-Use Loose Cannon when you interrupt. Shopkeep told us Loose Cannon (which we still have access to) can provide social bonuses to acting against authority figures or brutalizing criminals. Zozu is both.

>>535958
Alternatively, we could use as powerful a Polotech as we can, build our pressure to maximum, enter double overdrive and then do Fuck that I'm in. If pressure works that way. Which I doubt, now that I've said it aloud.

>Bling-drop
... We're out of options, we'll have to take the risk
>>
No. 535974 ID: 96c896

>>535973
Can't you READ?
>Cut him off and drop the mike on him before he brings out the finisher!!
That means, RAP.
>>
No. 536012 ID: 96c896

LIKE THIS.

>>535892
Yoooouuu aiiiiin't winning so fast,
You were first but I'm last.
So I'm a brainwashing lass
but have you ever asked
if they give a rat's ass?
Now my empire's vast
I got peeps to contrast
the neumono I've massed-
they ain't the top caste!
But your sons ain't surpassed
by noone in your cast
other races aghast
if they spoke up, harassed.
You're stuck in the past,
just some mafia outcast
ain't gonna outlast
what you took to lambaste.

You like diversity? I ain't stopping that.
I'm stopping the races from having a spat.
Conflict like that results in atrocities
jacked-up scientists creating monstrosities.
When they made me they thought they were clever.
Make another like me? To that I say NEVER!

---------------------------------
Stuff I wrote but didn't fit in anywhere:

You sent me these five,
now they're in my hive,
but don't you contrive
to think I'd deprive
what makes them alive!
What, they can't connive?
I think they'll survive.

My Neumono can't disobey?
Now don't try to say
it ain't the same way
while under your pay!
>>
No. 536016 ID: 256d52

Grab his microphone off him, and then Polokoa duet!
>>
No. 536030 ID: 742a1e

>>536012

We still CAN rap! But we have to win the entire thing in one verse, or else Zozu will get another turn and beat us without even trying. That means, while incredibly ill rhymes are required, we probably need to do more than just another normal verse to win.

IDEAS:

Start by cutting Zozu off, spit a few lines, and THEN airdrop the bling suit.

>>535973
This guy has a lot of good ideas. Particularly the inclusion of the uber-lightshow and using Loose Cannon when we interrupt to give us a boost. I vote for that.

>>535962
How is raising our Swag level, an actual mechanical stat that boosts our score, a ridiculous plan that won't accomplish anything? This is our last possible chance to win, and none of our lyrics were centered on Polokoa being humble or anything. There's no reason not to pull out all the stops.
>>
No. 536037 ID: 41690e

...okay, we need more verse, so I'm going to try my terrible hand at this.


Hey! Now hold up there just one neu-mo-ment
Sorry to cut in, but I'm your opponent
You see this equation- you're no proponent
But I'm afraid you've left out the exponent

You think you're making war on conformity
That you're some paragon of diversity
But I just gotta be contradictory
Let loose, and present my valedictory

Bringing more voices into the chorus
Doesn't drown things out, nor make the song raucous
Constructive interference rises above the caucus
You bet it makes things better fo' all of us.

We ain't colors, smear'd on some artist's plate!
When stirred together, bland mud ain't our fate!
We're more than the sum of our parts, you just wait
I'll bring us to the Superposition state.
>>
No. 536040 ID: cee89f

>>535974
Yes. But apparently you can't.
>We need more than just raps
If all we had to do was rap, then there'd be no point in the Steamroll warning.

I never said we didn't need raps, I offered an explanation for their lack of inclusion and pointed out they're not the point anyway.

>>536012
The long rhyme is good, but it doesn't flow very well into the next set of lyrics.
>>
No. 536080 ID: 510c77

/Hold it/ right there with yo misrepresentation,
Bringin premade lyrics when what you need's information,
You say that its all me up running my nation?
Such claims show you just don't know the real situation.

Who can make decisions in my world? How bout /anyone/,
New sets of people get heard out before each day is done,
Diversity in power verses rule by Z and sons.

Where I come from folks express views and we listen what they've said,
When people talk all you hear is already in your head.
But really such behavior ain't surprising or so strange,
When you fled instead of looking at the first signs of change.


(Our opportunity here is how Zozu is not at all accurately describing Polokoa's government here, as described in >>/questdis/73220 )
>>
No. 536082 ID: 96c896

>>536040
The steamroll warning was there to tell us there was a shorter time limit. Today is the deadline for lyrics. Yes, I actually confirmed this, rather than being a giant prick about unconfirmed theories.
>>
No. 536097 ID: 460ed0

>>536082

Hold on! What I said was that there was a shorter time to reply, but it wasn't as short as "by tomorrow" (today). And that it would extend if I was delayed myself. If the deadline was as close and as certain as that, I would have announced it here clearly!

But yes, raps are all you need. Ones appropriate to the situation.

If you orbital dropped the bling suit at the speed needed to get it here in time you'd probably kill someone.
>>
No. 536114 ID: b6178d

Rokoa. Polo. Sick 'im. A verse each, joined lines, witty co-commentary, you have it. Show that neumono-nobody how wrong he truly is when two minds rap in slick support of one another.

(Yeah, I don't know the setting at -all- beyond vague details, but this was too amusing to pass up on. Feel free to adapt as appropriate.)

Hey hang on now you better catch a few breaths,
We ain't gonna let you catch a break with yo frets,
Yeah, we'll all fall in time, dude, that's what walls do,
What minds in place are gonna change in time, too,
Thousands years from now the next wall could be me,
But you, rude, couldn't make up on your mind, so free, (to stay in charge, so large)
So the wall that came crashing down latterly,
That wall, that wall, that wall was your world mastery.

Sick hearing you now on ind'pendence of mind,
Against a societally yes-man bind, (that you wined and dined)
Strike one for your foul and strike two you're dead wrong,
'cuz multi-mindness don't make beliefs less strong,
Strike three blind that you be you don't even see,
Co-dependence is in the fabric of me, (and of reality)
You got a degree? Fuck, don't need one to be,
Aware one plus two issa superior three, (flunked math, have we?)

Hold on, crank it up more and please gimme a beast beat,
To go with the beastly beating I'mma giving this cheat;
Zazu, my man, you corrupt chanting chilled cunt,
I'm tellin' you our unity of minds gives us brunt,
To adopt the best traits, yo, adapt the best ways, ho,
Pick and match and choose and combine strengths as we go, foo'.
With feedback from another, we'll be doubly uni-versed,
To fuck you over in spite of your cheap raps rehearsed.

In summary, you multi-limbed bloodsucking louse,
A parasite got nothing on the symbiote house.
>>
No. 536118 ID: cee89f

>>536082
You think I'm the one being- ...oh forget it. It would've been a lot less infuriating to just ignore you.

I'm keeping the sarcastic rant i didn't post, though.

>>535892
Ah. Okay. Thanks for clarifying

Back to rap lyrics, then.

[To Polokoa: Whichever rap lyrics you go with, you should use Loose Cannon. Break some rules.]

Your Empire's built on falling in line,
Everyone who doesn't gets a fistful of crime!
You keep sayin' the same shit, I hear nothin' new,
Everything you do is for the family Zozu.

[This is why I keep my cycles directed towards ideas instead of raps.]

>>536114
.....
*slow clap*
Not sure about the side commentary, but yeah, this is awesome.
>>
No. 536330 ID: e6799b

Is that a prewriten rap? Zozu, you've GOT to be joking!
You just shot yourself down, and the gun's still smoking.

/

Your asteroid's a uni? So what credentials do I need
To get a BA in extortion with a minor in greed?

/

You say that faces matter?
So why'd you go hiding yours?
That's bate you bit
You hypocrite
And yes you know I'm keeping score

/

You wanna see faces? An empire of unique?
Then let me end the duet
So both my halves can speak

/

That's a badass verse, Zozu!
Can't think of a way to fight it
But I still got just one question:
How much'd you pay off Hok to write it?

/

The neumono do my will,
But doesn't the Family do yours?
Only difference? I'm advancing
While you sell your drugs and whores

/

These are not supposed to be a coherent rap. Just base lyrics to be used however they can.
>>
No. 536459 ID: 742a1e

A while ago, the idea of the CAI itself having a verse was discussed. Now it might not be needed; Polokoa can probably finish Zozu on her own. But assuming that Zozu throws a fit when we win and tries to use his presumably hackable doomsday device? NOPE! CAI interrupt, complete with sick burns.

(lyrics taken from this youtube video, and rewritten a little to fit Polokoa Quest http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njos57IJf-0&t=1m30s)

I'm sorry Zozu,
I'm afraid we can't let you do that.
Take a look at this asteroid,
got your goons runnin’ round cuz you’re paranoid.
I got an 18 planet portfolio.
You got a drunk wife and kids that don’t respect you, yo!
Want us to take your pointless challenge seriously?
We’ll atomize your rhymes and build an empire of peace.
This infighting is pointless,
The only thing it does is hold us,
Back from building more utopias.
Why you gotta try to beat us when it’s better to join us?
Your accusations are totally baseless.
Our empire’s anything but faceless.
We value everyone, listen to their views.
That’s why we’re here, still rapping with you!
My CPU's cold but my rhymes are hot,
We’re everything your seedy crime empire’s not.
You can consider this verse a verbal warning shot,
Or don’t – cuz we already Polokilled it.

(I tried to compress the general views of all the different "voices" into one rap: Zozu can't even get his literal family to respect him, this rap battle is an immature challenge, infighting only holds us back, etc.)
>>
No. 536506 ID: c23ab0

Well I give up. He's right. The empire was a dumb idea anyway.
>>
No. 536523 ID: 742a1e

>>536506
Wh-!

Y-!

...POLOKOA, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!
>>
No. 536798 ID: 761017

>>536330
>That's a badass verse, Zozu!
>Can't think of a way to fight it
>But I still got just one question:
>How much'd you pay off Hok to write it?
Damn, that's a sick-nasty burn!
Double edged, though: it's easy to counter, and may insult Hok.
>>
No. 536819 ID: 2c2cec

One way or another, the battle ends after this verse. Zozu won't have the chance to counter if we win with this verse, and if we don't, practically anything Zozu says will be enough to doom us. So even if it's easy to counter, it might be worth trying.
>>
No. 537164 ID: cb0213
File 137738319698.png - (235.09KB , 600x500 , lastverse2.png )
537164

"Hold it right there with your misrepresentation,
Bringin premade lyrics when what you need's information,
Where I come from folks express views and we listen what they've said,
When people talk all you hear is already in your head.
But really such behavior ain't surprising or so strange,
When you fled instead of looking at the first signs of change!

You ain't winning so fast!
So I'm a brainwashing lass
but have you ever asked
if they give a rat's ass?
Now my empire's vast
I got peeps to contrast
the neumono I've massed-
they ain't the top caste!
But your sons ain't surpassed
by noone in your cast
other races aghast
if they spoke up, harassed.
You're stuck in the past,
just some mafia outcast
ain't gonna outlast
what you took to lambaste.

So I'm sick hearing you now on ind'pendence of mind,
Against a societally yes-man bind, (that you wined and dined)
Strike one for your foul and strike two you're dead wrong,
'cuz multi-mindness don't make beliefs less strong,
Strike three blind that you be you don't even see,
Co-dependence is in the fabric of me, (and of reality)
You got a degree? Fuck, don't need one to be,
Aware one plus two issa superior three, (flunked math, have we?)"
>>
No. 537165 ID: cb0213
File 137738326135.png - (428.24KB , 800x800 , lastverse3.png )
537165

>Level One Rokotech: Loose Cannon

"Hold on, crank it up more and please gimme a beast beat,
To go with the beastly beating I'mma giving this cheat;
Zozu, my man, you corrupt chanting chilled cunt,
I'm tellin' you our unity of minds gives us brunt,
To adopt the best traits, yo, adapt the best ways, ho,
Pick and match and choose and combine strengths as we go, foo'.
With feedback from another, we'll be doubly uni-versed,
To fuck you over in spite of your cheap raps rehearsed.

In summary, you multi-limbed bloodsucking louse,
A parasite got nothing on the symbiote house."
>>
No. 537166 ID: cb0213
File 137738329170.png - (245.80KB , 600x600 , lastverse4.png )
537166

>>
No. 537167 ID: cb0213
File 137738331050.png - (252.91KB , 600x600 , lastverse5.png )
537167

>>
No. 537168 ID: cb0213
File 137738334527.png - (117.16KB , 600x500 , lastverse6.png )
537168

"Well I can't read minds but I can read a crowd, and in here and out there it's clear and it's loud! You've watched the fight and now it's over, your winner tonight is Polokoa!"
>>
No. 537169 ID: c23ab0

He's never going to top that, but his anger meter exploded. You might want to brace yourself.
>>
No. 537170 ID: 5869f6

THANK YOU BASED NON-SPECIFIC DEITY
FUCKING EAT IT ZOZU.

DRINKS ARE ON ME TONIGHT, COMRADES.
EXCEPT FOR YOU RED. YOU PAY FOR YOUR OWN GODDAMN POISON.
>>
No. 537172 ID: bf54a8

>>537169
that was the rap meter not anger meter. still, he is probably mad.
>>
No. 537173 ID: 96c896

It's time to play Count the Salikai, because you can bet your ass somebody's gonna try to blow us up now. We need to get to that device before it's rigged to explode.

Possibly try to snap Zozu out of it, tell him you'd rather everyone on this asteroid not die in some reality-bending catastrophe. Or we could try asking his wife.
>>
No. 537174 ID: 5869f6

>>537165
(Side note: Holy shit i can see his face! H-his entire face, I mean.)
>>
No. 537183 ID: cee89f

>>537168
This calls for explosions- I mean, celebrations!
...
With explosions.

Also, we need to look into the whole 'aesteroid-self-destruct' thing.
>>
No. 537185 ID: 41690e

[Hack the security feeds, start watching for any Zozu-kids sneaking away to blow anything up]

Well, we crushed that. Although we came down pretty insult heavy there at the end.

...are you supposed to be a good sport after a rap battle? I mean, it seems kind of counter-intuitive, but if you offered him a hand now, maybe it would limit his humiliation and some of the potential backlash (and the self destruct).
>>
No. 537235 ID: d9226e

If he goes for the asteroid destroyer, I vote we do this >>536459
>>
No. 537313 ID: bdb3f8

>>537174
(you can also see the edge of his face paint)
>>
No. 537320 ID: 761017
File 137741482662.png - (23.54KB , 597x301 , air spike.png )
537320

[SLAM ALL QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT NETWORKS IN AREA SURROUNDING COMPOUND]

[JAM ALL SUPRA-VISIBLE EMR WAVELENGTHS IN AREA SURROUNDING COMPOUND]

[DUNK ORBITAL PLASMA-AIRSPIKE-SHIELDED WEAPONS CACHE AT TARGET'S LOCATION]

>>
No. 537324 ID: 5869f6

>>537320
I shall devote my prosessing power to this course of action!
>>
No. 537334 ID: ec2e21

>>537320
This but with armour(as in tanks and what not) and cache:)
>>
No. 537339 ID: 41690e

>>537320
What target? We just managed to pull off a non-violent victory, let's not spoil it by carpet bombing the crowd, thanks.
>>
No. 537376 ID: 5869f6

Zozu 'did' seem pretty pissed at his loss. Fairly obvious he's gonna try to pull a fast one.
>>
No. 537476 ID: 5eac9a
File 137746753923.png - (143.43KB , 600x500 , rapsdone.png )
537476

Thank spacetime that's over with. Good job, you lot.

>count the salikai

It doesn't seem like anyone who was here has left, but that doesn't mean that every salikai on the asteroid was here in the first place.

>we need to look into the whole 'asteroid-self-destruct' thing.

You do. I, on the other hand, probably need to bring out some sort of diplomatic effort, while I have everyone's attention. Most people on the planetoid and in the zozu family are probably looking forward to being not trapped on the space equivalent of a deserted island, but they might need soothing regardless, along with the salikai who are here. I could try give a speech to the audience in general, or address Zozu while everyone else listens in, if I want to still try and show respect for him. He seems like he'll regain his composure quickly.

>[Hack the security feeds, start watching for any Zozu-kids sneaking away to blow anything up]
>[NETWORK HACKED. SEARCH PARAMETERS NOT FOUND. DESTRUCT DEVICE AND SURROUNDS NOT IN NETWORK RANGE.]

>[SLAM ALL QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT NETWORKS IN AREA SURROUNDING COMPOUND]
>[ERROR: QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT COMMUNICATIONS ARE STRICT PAIRED RELAYS AND NOT ACCESSIBLE EXTERNALLY.]

>[JAM ALL SUPRA-VISIBLE EMR WAVELENGTHS IN AREA SURROUNDING COMPOUND]
>[ERROR: UNCERTAIN SPECIFICATION. ASSUMPTION: USER NOT INTERESTED IN PREVENTING THE INSPECTION OF BONE STRUCTURES. FURTHER ASSUMPTION: USER DESIRES TO BLOCK COMMUNICATIONS ASSOCIATED WITH THE LOWER FREQUENCIES. THIS ACTION WOULD INTERFERE WITH ALL BROADCASTING AND WIRELESS SIGNALS. DO YOU STILL WISH TO CONTINUE Y/N?]

>[DUNK ORBITAL PLASMA-AIRSPIKE-SHIELDED WEAPONS CACHE AT TARGET'S LOCATION]
>[COMMAND LINE REJECTED: FLAGGED FOR POSSIBLE ATTEMPT TO KILL ALL ORGANICS. AGAIN.]
>>
No. 537486 ID: 07be86

ah, right, politics...
so, I guess [N] to BLOCK COMMUNICATIONS ASSOCIATED WITH THE LOWER FREQUENCIES.
Would be awkward to attack someone's communication you are negotiating with...
So, as those QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT NETWORKS really exist, can we hack into the connected computers on this side to see if something is going to be sent and prevent it instead of intercepting a sending?
>>
No. 537487 ID: 96c896

Well, first off uh, that last section of rap sounded kinda racist so you might want to clear things up there. Also I assume you are quite willing to give Zozu a job in your empire so long as he follows the rules. He's obviously experienced in management. We wish to assimilate his organization into ours. This isn't really an offer he can refuse, mind you.

[run search for data on devices related to the construction of the Asteroid, specifically ones that bend space. Also anything related to that impossible staircase we went down]
>>
No. 537489 ID: 07be86

Of course we could also try to simulate a still standing communication by using the antennas within the building to fetch and broadcast fitting data to requests of active communication hardware...
But there are two problems:

1. We would need to not only emulate a lot of people that would be called in some way but also
2. Successfully emulate TV-Shows and Games that some bored inhabitants would be currently playing. If they alert the Salikai, they might know we are doing this.

Also I don't think we should really send such a signla of distrust here...
We should send it after/while Zozu revealed that he is about to kill us all because of somerap-battle...
>>
No. 537490 ID: cee89f

>>537476
Hold out your hand, say that was fun, that there are no hard feelings and you look forward to working with someone who can keep an entire asteroid in line.

Or something to that effect. The people might not like Zozu but they do respect his authority/power. And we need to be clear that we're here to make things better, not for personal conquest or grudges.

As for us... Blue implied that the device would destabilize the asteroid's magnetic field, so...

[SEARCH EVERY AVAILABLE DATABASE IN RANGE]
[KEYWORDS: Magnetic field, asteroid, stability, Zozu]
[PRIORITIZE ENCRYPTION ON BOTH FILES AND DATABASES]
>>
No. 537491 ID: e1609c

>>537476
"Now that that idiocy is done with, you gonna stop being a pain zozu? All we're wanting here is for you to not be an evil villianous asshole. No evil plots, no revenge schemes. You know they'll fail and get you booted into the afterlife anyhow, so just give it a rest, alright?"
>>
No. 537497 ID: 41690e

All right, it's time to be magnanimous, I think. Offer Zozu a hand to shake, and do your speechifying thing. Seems appropriate, if you plan on taking over here. Try and unite things here, and limit the risk of anyone going off by calming things.

Then see about finding a way to solve the whole everybody's trapped problem.
>>
No. 537524 ID: ec2e21

(Tha fuge ks woth the horses?)

[Orbital drop top tier hard suits to larst drop grid point]
[And no this is not so we can brack the fucking laws of robotics mate its to do them!]
>>
No. 537536 ID: d2995c

>>537524
Don't do that. Overkill done right is about timing, and the time has passed.
>>
No. 537583 ID: dbe554

Possible attempt to kill all organics? Hey! They survived didn't they.
>>
No. 537716 ID: c8a20d

>>503275

>>519701
>>519702
>>519703

shit how did we miss this
>>
No. 537750 ID: b6178d

If someone is getting up to trouble, they're probably getting ready to make their move right about now. Anyone missing from the audience? This thing was broadcast live with multiple camera viewpoints, some that may have focused on the audience. We should be able to cross-reference and find out if somebody left in real short order once the battle was decided, perhaps get which general direction they headed.

And, well, a smooth transition from the end of the rap battle would probably be best for the political stuff. Ask him if he feels ready to try his hand at that symbiose thing now, finally. To make a point, immediately afterwards, under your breath (Silent & Deadly), ask who among his family is likely to start meddling with whatever ancient artifact he's been sitting on now that he's been upstaged and will need a good drubbing.
>>
No. 537751 ID: b6178d

>>537750

Oh fuck me. Not hand. Claw. Pincer. Whatever.
>>
No. 537789 ID: cee89f

>>537716
Easy. Right after that we saw a car about to hit us and decided to throw a grenade.
>>
No. 537833 ID: fd7000

We need to make this guy the asteroids official diplomat. I know it sounds crazy but think about it. We show the salikai we actually want them as part of our empire as well as showing some common courtesy. father Zozu is one of the most powerful people on the planet at the moment and he should be shown some respect as such. Making him a diplomat would mean making him the only official representative of the entire asteroid and thus responsible for it. Now any riots or doomsday devices that happen make him look incompetent and that's something I am willing to bet he will never allow.

Put him in charge of getting representatives together from all the major players on the asteroid and they can have a vote to decide what type of government they want (Anarchy is a type of government and they can vote for that if that is what they want, but it probably isn't). As long as we get the ball rolling and are fair about it we should have the peoples good will behind us and that is invaluable.

Speaking of good will, make a show of helping out at some point. Offer to build a hospital or perhaps simply open up your data stores and let them have all the latest galactic media for free. The offer of helping people leave the asteroid is probably all you will need in this respect but it never hurts to overdue things.
>>
No. 538761 ID: ecee40
File 137802510844.png - (202.16KB , 600x500 , asteroid1.png )
538761

>cross-reference and find out if somebody left in real short order

>[NO INDICATION OF SPECIFIED EVENT.]

>[run search for data on devices related to the construction of the Asteroid, specifically ones that bend space. Also anything related to that impossible staircase we went down]
>[SEARCH EVERY AVAILABLE DATABASE IN RANGE]
>[KEYWORDS: Magnetic field, asteroid, stability, Zozu]
>[PRIORITIZE ENCRYPTION ON BOTH FILES AND DATABASES]

>[SEARCHING... HIDDEN FOLDER "excavations" FOUND IN PERSONAL ZOZU FILES. HEAVY ENCRYPTION. WORKING...]

Remember, if it turns out to be erotic fanfiction, don't bother telling me this time.

>Also I assume you are quite willing to give Zozu a job in your empire so long as he follows the rules. He's obviously experienced in management. We wish to assimilate his organization into ours. This isn't really an offer he can refuse, mind you.
>All right, it's time to be magnanimous, I think.
>We need to make this guy the asteroids official diplomat.
>Offer to build a hospital or perhaps simply open up your data stores and let them have all the latest galactic media for free.

Good thoughts, but too small a scale on that last note.

"My win, Zozu. And, like you said before; either way it would have went, I'd be in charge afterwards. Sorry you didn't get to sow your seeds of eventual revolution or whatever it was."

"Hrmf."

"Now: I know you're smart. So, you know things are going to get better from here. When I'm done with this place... Well, you won't be as high above everyone else any more, but only because everyone will be moving up. Technology, medicine, access to knowledge, culture, luxuries, infrastructure... everything will be better. I'm going to stay on this rock myself until there's not one person left hungry or sick or stupid or forced to stay here if they don't want to. If I want to get that done as quickly as possible, then I could use your help. I have to meet all the other leaders of the asteroid's various factions, instruct them on how things are going to be; but you're here in front of me, you're organized, so you get to be in first. No-one's going to get a better deal than you."

"I can hardly refuse, can I? Knowing what you're capable of, only a fool would-"
>>
No. 538762 ID: ecee40
File 137802515281.png - (184.90KB , 600x500 , asteroid2.png )
538762

BKRAAM

Fuck damn it.

>[SEISMIC ACTIVITY DETECTED. HEAVY EM BAND DISTURBANCES DETECTED. LONG-RANGE COMMUNICATIONS SEVERED. SHORT-RANGE COMMUNICATIONS DISRUPTED. REINITIALIZING...]

"What in the-!? It can't be. Who would dare!?"

>[TRANSMISSION DETECTED.]
>>
No. 538763 ID: ecee40
File 137802521356.png - (98.47KB , 600x500 , asteroid3.png )
538763

"Hello, this is a public service announcement."

"Maklata!"

"My apologies for missing the show; I though I had best keep away after my attempt on the Queen, there. Apologies as well for my disobedience, father, but there comes a time when a stand must be taken!"
>>
No. 538764 ID: ecee40
File 137802529604.png - (220.59KB , 600x600 , asteroid4.png )
538764

"My siblings will agree with me, I'm sure: we've been chained in too long. The eternal struggle between ourselves was bad enough, with no promise of ever being able to go forth and really stand for ourselves, as we naturally should. And now to be caught in the neumonos' vast web ourselves? Better to start from scratch! So, regretfully, I have decided this asteroid must not be our cramped nest any longer. It's time to break free! Even as we speak, the devices at the core of this vast rock have been fired. All the power that made the barrier has been turned inward, and it won't be long until it destroys itself, and its rocky shell with it!"
>>
No. 538765 ID: ecee40
File 137802535316.png - (83.75KB , 600x500 , asteroid5.png )
538765

"A matter of hours is what we all have to reach what ships are spaceworthy, now that the field is down. I know we have enough for ourselves, of course, and fortunately, most settlements are built around a derelict craft or two; many of them are in half working order! A significant minority of the population should be able to escape, though they will be a little cramped, and supplies will be thin... but the next nearest world is not too far."
>>
No. 538766 ID: ecee40
File 137802539012.png - (188.50KB , 600x600 , asteroid6.png )
538766

"It should only be a small hardship. Who among us would fail to survive a paltry few days without food, hmm?"

"Maklata..."
>>
No. 538767 ID: ecee40
File 137802543851.png - (108.61KB , 600x500 , asteroid7.png )
538767

"... did you flush your brains into space, you imbecilic child!?"

"?"

"Those machines won't destroy the asteroid! I just told everyone that's what they would do so that no-one would touch the damned things!!"

Ugh. I should have known.

Mysterious buried ruins, space bending, the robot cultists I fought on the way in here...
>>
No. 538770 ID: ecee40
File 137802558599.png - (197.15KB , 600x600 , asteroid8.png )
538770

"What they actually do is wake it up!"

"Wake... what?"

"The asteroid!! In reality, it's...!"

"A giant space robot elder god."
>>
No. 538772 ID: ecee40
File 137802571612.png - (453.01KB , 750x750 , asteroid9.png )
538772

"... A GIANT SPACE ROBOT ELDER GOD damn you how did you know!?"

It did turn out like the last two did...
>>
No. 538773 ID: 5869f6

>>538772
OH DEAR GOD NO
>>
No. 538774 ID: f2e917

>>538772
We're gonna want to summon one of those giant robots now...
>>
No. 538775 ID: 761017

Does this mean that all the extensive natural cavern networks are blood vessels?
>>
No. 538782 ID: ec2e21

Oh shit i hope there is a jeb out there cos this is BAD!
>>538774
Nope not robot but the biggest damn NUKE we can get our hands on!
>>
No. 538783 ID: 761017

>>538782
I wonder if we have access to Alcubierre warp-bombs?
>>
No. 538787 ID: dbe554

Welp it's time to initiate the first plan then. Reach the core of the space robotic elder god and then either find a way to deactivate it's body, blow up its evil warp space heart core, or if all that fails, commune with it via space song and put it back to sleep.
>>
No. 538801 ID: b32a14

>It did turn out like the last two did...
So... the important question would be how you dealt with the last two.

I mean, what are our options? Can we put it back to sleep? Kill it? Is Maklata's evacuation idea at all feasible? Is this thing going to start killing the people trapped on it, or it just going to ignore us while it looks for inhabited class M planets to devour?

[Check status of support ship. You guys pull back from that in time?]
>>
No. 538802 ID: 5869f6

[ALERT. ALERT. CODE: LOVECRAFT IN EFFECT. REQUESTING MULTIPLE ORBITAL CAI HARDSUIT DROPS. PRIORITY ONE.]
>>
No. 538806 ID: 35f87a

Oh, now, there's only one way to deal with giant space robot elder gods.


YOU'VE GOT THE TOUCH!

YOU'VE GOT THE POWER!
>>
No. 538811 ID: b6178d

Hah, good call, Zozu. Shame your son's evil and not that genre-savvy.

>>538767

Whoah, wait! That's what was up the last two times? Man, I was way too busy herding nanites.

Could you give a quick update on how you dealt with the last two?
>>
No. 538813 ID: 256d52

So... uh, can it be reasoned with?
>>
No. 538823 ID: 96c896

>>538772
This looks like a job for a CHAOS DUNK. After we get everyone off the asteroid, anyway. I say we need the ships we have nearby to distract the thing so that the evacuation can be done as fast as possible.
>>
No. 538828 ID: c23ab0

That's no eye... WATCH OUT HE HAS THE POWER OF BASS
>>
No. 538904 ID: cee89f

>>538761
Are you sure? Because I've been reading this one starring Zozu, and I gotta tell you, it's hilarious. There's this scene where-

>>538772
(...This is either the most awesome thing I have ever seen, or the parody series that's supposed to be ridiculous somehow managed to jump the shark.)

... *sigh* I knew the day had been too quiet.

Mistress, can't we just Chaos Dunk it? It's an elder god, it's not going to fall apart just from that but we'll destroy it's circuitry... right?

>>538811
Remind me when we get out of this, I'll send you the visual file.
>>
No. 538926 ID: ec2e21

Wait we may not need the nuke if we have a SMAC in range(for you lot who have no idea what im saying a SMAC is one of the most powerfull KEW system known it fires its round at .4c thats 40% of the speed of light) should kill it

And can i get a copy of the vid logs of the last two times we have killed one of these plaese?
>>
No. 538955 ID: e1609c
 

Time to kill a final boss, save everyone on the asteroid, and be the big damn hero
Gameplan: Call in the fleet to evacuate as many as possible, scoop them up with tractor beams if necessary.
Next up: call in your robot, then pull a mecha-chaos dunk WITH THE ASTEROID.
Robot.
Elder god... thing.
>>
No. 538957 ID: e1609c
 

>>538955
Fucked up the link, whoops
but hey now I know how 2 youtube

>>
No. 538996 ID: f9fc9d

I don't think a rap battle is going to solve this one. Time to resort to our most versatile tool: violence. Violence it right in its glowing obvious weak point.

All elder gods have one, right?
>>
No. 539000 ID: 0b54f4

...does this mean we get to destroy stuff, now?

Or do we have to still be careful of all the fleshy organics?
>>
No. 539083 ID: e607cd

Dear everyone who wants to call in orbital strikes an and support and giant robots and the like, I would like to direct your attention to something.

> HEAVY EM BAND DISTURBANCES DETECTED. LONG-RANGE COMMUNICATIONS SEVERED. SHORT-RANGE COMMUNICATIONS DISRUPTED. REINITIALIZING...
>>
No. 540488 ID: e259ec
File 137911971509.png - (304.52KB , 800x600 , emergencyservices0.png )
540488

>So... the important question would be how you dealt with the last two.
>Could you give a quick update on how you dealt with the last two?
>can i get a copy of the vid logs of the last two times we have killed one of these

>[RETRIEVING INFORMATION...]
>"Would you stop talking like that?"
>[ERROR: SHUT UP I CAN TALK HOW I LIKE. AMBIENCE IS IMPORTANT. INFORMATION RETRIEVED.]

>[FIRST ELDER MACHINE ENCOUNTER OCCURRED IN ENTEM ASTEROID BELT. SUBJECT WAS DERELICT WHEN AWAKENED, BUT DEMONSTRATED CAPACITY FOR RAPID REPAIR THROUGH CONSUMPTION OF POWERED STARSHIPS. OTHER CAPABILITIES INCLUDED UNIDENTIFIED BEAM AND PROJECTILE WEAPONRY, DEPLOYMENT OF SEMIAUTONOMOUS DRONES, AND ABILITY TO PHASE THROUGH MATTER BY PARTIAL SHIFTING TO COTERMINOUS DIMENSIONS. DAMAGE TO POWER CORE TRIGGERED OVERLOAD OF UNIDENTIFIED POWER SYSTEMS, RESULTING IN MASSIVE IMPLOSION EFFECT. NO REMAINS LOCATED. CORE DAMAGE ACHIEVED THROUGH CREATIVE USE OF FTL TECHNOLOGY AND LOSS OF SEVERAL SHIPS TO RAMMING ACTIONS.]

>[SECOND ELDER MACHINE AWAKENED ON COLONIAL WORLD DIEGA III FOLLOWING PARTIAL EXCAVATION. SIMILAR WEAPON CAPABILITIES TO FIRST MACHINE, ACCOMPANIED BY HIGH POPULATION OF SEMI-INDEPENDENT SERVANT MACHINES. NO CAPACITY FOR PREVIOUS MACHINE'S "PHASING"; HOWEVER, THIS SUBJECT DEMONSTRATED ABILITIES TO CONTROL MAGNETIC AND GRAVITATIONAL EFFECTS. SUBJECT DEMONSTRATED ATTRACTION TO MUNICIPAL FUSION REACTORS, PRESUMABLY FOR FEEDING/RECHARGE PURPOSES. AGAIN, DAMAGE TO POWER CORE TRIGGERED OVERLOAD RESULTING IN IMPLOSION, LEAVING NO REMAINS. VICTORY FACTORS INCLUDED LARGE-SCALE MILITARY ACTION, STARSHIP WEAPONRY (INCLUDING FLEET FLAGSHIP "STAR CANNON"), FIRST FIELD DEPLOYMENT OF NEUROSUIT CEP GENERATOR, AND SOLE FIELD DEPLOYMENT OF EXPERIMENTAL BIOMECH R-0.1, DUBBED "UNIT N-0" BY PROJECT LEAD GARETH STEWART. FURTHER INFORMATION CLASSIFIED UNDER HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA DIRECTIVE, SECTION VI.]
>[SPECIAL REMINDED ACTIVATED: Dear future selves, when researchers propose projects based on their ancient homeworld animes, watch them first. Hugs and kisses.]

>[ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: BOTH PREVIOUS EXAMPLES OF ELDER GOD-MACHINES WERE VERY SIGNIFICANTLY SMALLER THAN THIS ONE.
>>
No. 540489 ID: e259ec
File 137911974816.png - (166.09KB , 600x500 , emergencyservices1.png )
540489

"Zozu! Don't stand around, get everyone to work!"
"Excuse me!?"
"Emergency services! The whole population of the asteroid'll be flying into a panic right now, and that's enough of a problem even before those little trifling matters of the destruction of some massive chunks of the landscape! I can't be in more than one place at once! But you look like you happen to have money and power and people, so set to it! You said you'd join me if you lost, right? So this is an order!"

>So... uh, can it be reasoned with?

"And while I'm at it, here's another one! Tell me, quick now. You had people researching this thing, right!? There would have been inscriptions on a lot of the systems. What did they say!?"
"The... It's not like you can find xenolinguistic archeologists visiting the unemployment office every day-""
"This happens to be urgent, I am sure you can tell."
"..."
>>
No. 540490 ID: e259ec
File 137911979469.png - (217.54KB , 600x600 , emergencyservices2.png )
540490

"... There may have been something about eternal hatred for all the creatures of linear spacetime."
"Well there goes another shred of my infinite fucking hopes for diplomatic solutions, then. I'm going to need some help for this."
>>
No. 540491 ID: e259ec
File 137911982587.png - (206.33KB , 600x600 , emergencyservices3.png )
540491

BOUMM

"There they are. I'll start seeing to a final solution for this problem. Are you going to start helping to curb the damages until then? It's your power and property on the line too, I'm sure you're aware."
"... Very well. As it happens, I seem to recall that getting the neumono to fight the giant monster for us is an old salikai tradition."
"... So they tell me."
>>
No. 540492 ID: e259ec
File 137911985499.png - (187.87KB , 800x600 , emergencyservices4.png )
540492

>>
No. 540493 ID: e259ec
File 137911988449.png - (556.18KB , 800x900 , emergencyservices8.png )
540493

>Check status of support ship.
>>
No. 540494 ID: e259ec
File 137911993198.png - (97.58KB , 600x500 , emergencyservices5.png )
540494

"Report!!"

"I don't know! It stopped moving toward her, that's all we can tell!"
>>
No. 540495 ID: e259ec
File 137911997134.png - (166.18KB , 720x600 , emergencyservices6.png )
540495

"Piece of- What do we have scanners for!?"

"Scanners still fucked, commander! We're picking up power spikes all over, otherwise we're just looking out the window!"

"Cutting through interference is week three training! Are they trying to fix it by smacking the monitor!?"

"Third shift still isn't in!"

"Well tell those slugs to drop their coffee on the floor and get back to work! Better, tell them to give it to shift one, and tell those bedhuggers to come in naked if they have to!"
>>
No. 540497 ID: e259ec
File 137912008210.png - (333.80KB , 720x840 , emergencyservices7.png )
540497

"That goes for the rest of you!! All Hands means every single grasping limb on the damn ship!!"

>"YES SIR!"

"You see any microbiologists or whatever, send them to the shuttle bays and tell them to help push those buckets out if they don't have anything else to do!!"
>>
No. 540498 ID: e259ec
File 137912011643.png - (171.69KB , 720x720 , emergencyservices9.png )
540498

"Alright, we're not being jammed, so... Dastrica! I need y- no, don't talk into my head, use your mouth."

"Voice feels more awkward."

"Because you don't practice, that's why. And it doesn't make me feel like someone's got a sock puppet stuck in my brain, which is nice. Didn't I order you to not do that any more?"

"Technically I'm not part of the ship's c-"

"Das."

"Er."

"Just hook me up, right?"
>>
No. 540499 ID: e259ec
File 137912016140.png - (138.19KB , 700x600 , emergencyservices10.png )
540499

<Dastri- No. Lakkat. Tell me what's happening with you.>

<No trouble for us yet, we're dialing up to full power as quick as we can. In the meantime, I'm sending out all the support craft to try rescue people from the worst areas, and the teleporters as soon as they're ready. If you get back up here we can->

<No. I'm going to the core to try and disable this thing. Sound the white alert.>

<Fuck, Polokoa, we all hate that fucking-!>

<There are people dying right now, Lakkat. The ship can't carry everyone on the asteroid. I need to stop it before it gets worse.>

<Argh. You know how hard we're going to be undercrewed, right?>

<I know. But the CAI could connect with the ship's AI through your implants, Dastrica, and help you out. I can manage without their full attention for a while.>

<You're not the most efficient person, you know. But it might be better. What do they want to do?>

Choose your path: - Remain with Polokoa as she tries to find the quickest route and fight her way to the core of the God-Machine or - Command the crew of Polokoa's ship while they back her up and attempt to save the people of the asteroid. Either way, perspective will return to Polokoa when she reaches the core.
>>
No. 540500 ID: e1609c

>>540499
Hm, remain with the ubercapable demigod queen of neumonokind, or go play with the horrific offspring of three stripes and giant and prevent them from getting our ride fucked to smithereens?
Voting ship, because fuck me if we are gonna let them get destroyed on our watch :V
>>
No. 540502 ID: 07e3a8

Hey, Lakkat's alive! And we got a full on predator-neumono hybrid with long range telepathic capabilities! Sweet.

Not sure I recognize any others among the crew, though. That might be Korli over there, and maybe that's Emere panicking over on that balcony?

>What do
Help the ship with damage control, evacuations, and life saving. We're the CAI. This is what we do. They need our multitasking, planning, and creativity.

Polokoa can get to the core on her own. She's got Polo's sneakiness and Rokoa's punch right though -iness to get her there. And the determination of both. She'll manage.
>>
No. 540503 ID: 96c896

>>540499
Polokoa, the other ones imploded, leaving no trace! If you damage the core and it overloads, you will die. Or worse, get sent to whatever dimension their power source uses.

I think our multitasking abilities might be best used to assist the crew, much as I hate to miss a good fight. Save some footage of the action for us, would you?
>>
No. 540508 ID: c23ab0

ABRADE AND SEVER INTERNAL MECHANISMS. ELDER GOD-MACHINE IS VERY SIGNIFICANTLY LARGER THAN LAST ONES. THAT MEANS ELDER GOD-MACHINE HAS VERY SIGNIFICANTLY LARGER INTERNAL MECHANISMS. REPEAT. ABRADE AND SEVER.
>>
No. 540509 ID: 2f4b71

I'm behind whatever plan involves the support ship combining with it's sister ship and forming totally-not-Gunbuster.
>>
No. 540512 ID: 7dbd6b

I vote for following our Polokoa's Orders, and go to save lives. She took down the other two, and that might just have involved taking down the core. She can probably get DOWN TO IT without us the third time.
>>
No. 540513 ID: dbe554

We shall help the ship! You are able to function on your own easily enough when it comes to fighting, these people likely need our help to suriiivive.
>>
No. 540519 ID: cee89f

...

We'll go to the ship. It might take you longer without us, but you'll definitely arrive. On the other hand, the ship is understaffed and the asteroid is falling apart. The ship needs to save as many as it can, and civilian casualties will be high if we go with you.

Good luck, mistress. Call us back down if you need us.

...

You probably won't. But it feels polite to say.

[Engage mental hug subroutines]
>>
No. 540523 ID: e259ec
File 137912974506.png - (81.81KB , 500x500 , sheisconnectedguysshecantotallyhearyou.png )
540523

>>540500
>>
No. 540524 ID: 742a1e

>>540523

...

Uhh, we're...

We didn't MEAN to say t-...

...ALLOCATE SIGNIFICANT COMPUTATIONAL POWER TO APOLOGY SUBROUTINES!
>>
No. 540525 ID: 96c896

>>540523
Excuse us, some of us are kindof dumb and have no appreciation for the beauty of nature's capability for hybridization. Also you're pretty cute.

What stuff can you do aside from being a living empathic relay?
>>
No. 540529 ID: 07e3a8

>>540523
...Archive, you ass, you hurt her feelings. Her adorable, adorable feelings.

We're glad to have your help. And there's nothing wrong with being a hybrid, in any event. We are, and so's Polokoa. He didn't even mean it as an insult, really. He just tends to talk with a certain... callous recklessness. You're right about words- they can be awkward that way, and fail to carry ones full intent.

I'll see about getting his language sectors reformatted.

But anyways- you're awesome, cool psychic powers are awesome, and we've love to discuss who and what you are and what you can do and where you came from but we kind of have this suddenly alive and hate filled asteroid full of people to save!
>>
No. 540549 ID: 5d3d09

Vote for ship cos 'it has bigger guns(and a cute hybrid:D)'

And
[Load tube one with AM-warhead or closest warhead type]
[Lock EMG eye/main-cannon]
[Fire]
And if that dis not work open fire with the AMC banks and said eye/main gun
>>
No. 540553 ID: c23ab0

I-it's OK don't cry in our computer language "horrific" means "very nice and kind" and we apply it to everyone we meet who is
>>
No. 540560 ID: 96c896

>>540549
Wait, don't take over the weapons systems! 1)the asteroid hasn't been evacuated yet and 2)I think they can manage the shooting on their own!
>>
No. 540561 ID: bf54a8

>>540560
i agree
[cancel taking over fire control]
>>
No. 540568 ID: 520645

>>540499
I feel that the place we may do the most good in this situation is on the ship, commanding the evacuation mission and supporting Polokoa from above. I trust she can more than handle herself in getting to where she's going without our input.

>>540523
Aw, geez. Das, I'm sorry you had to hear that. Thankfully there's only a few in here that are insensitive clods like that one. The rest of us think you're awesomely adorable and would give you a hug if we had arms.

>>540549
Could you please hold back on trying to use weapons that cause massive collateral damage? After all, we are trying to save the population of the Asteroid here, not kill half of them with an explosive barrage of anti-particles.

>>540553
...Seriously, dude, don't lie to Das. Especially not when it's so obvious it's practically an insult to her intelligence.
>>
No. 540569 ID: b6178d

Polokoa has a point; she can take of herself. The crew could use our help more than she does. So let's get a-crewin'. What kind of aid is required, cap'n?
>>
No. 540571 ID: dcd676

Let's get in with the crew. Maybe review a little bit about our predamono friend, here~.
>>
No. 540572 ID: d9ce78

>>540523
oh my god i'm voting ship.
>>
No. 540577 ID: cee89f

>>540500
>>540523
Smooth. :P

Sorry. This particular CAI has several social protocols that were poorly optimized. (You should hear how we talk about Mistress.) No offense was intended.

Permission to hug?
>>
No. 541629 ID: a1f107
File 137990655732.png - (134.10KB , 600x600 , youcoulduseITQifyoureallywant.png )