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File 133736166041.png - (106.39KB , 700x600 , 1.png )
413494 No. 413494 ID: d6ae01

Captain's log, day 84 since I stopped keeping track of what day it was. We've been sailing for ages now, looking for new lands to plunder and new hybrids to hug. The crew is growing restless, but I know deep down in the cockles of my circuits that we'll find land soon.

"Okay crew," I say, "We are currently in the middle of the ocean. I've done some calculations, and I think we're due for a course correction. We can go east, west, or north. Which way do you think we should head?"

"Um," the shiny bird peeps up, "I think we'll need more to go on than that. What exactly will we find in those directions?"
Expand all images
No. 413495 ID: d6ae01
File 133736167392.png - (83.39KB , 700x600 , 2.png )

No. 413496 ID: d6ae01
File 133736168298.png - (86.14KB , 700x600 , 3.png )


No. 413497 ID: d6ae01
File 133736170614.png - (107.73KB , 700x600 , 4.png )

"But seriously, we'll find land any day now. Trust me!"

"I'm beginning to think we're lost..." The mostly-naked dragoness says.

"Don't sweat the small stuff, that's my motto! All that worrying will give you a heart attack, you know."

"I've nearly had several of those from dealing with the crew," birdface birds. "Who even are those people?"

"An excellent question you decided to wait until the 84th day to ask, my faithful subordinate! What you have there is a question I cannot take lightly. Its answer will change the very nature of our world, you see. Can't answer that one on a whim, no sir."

"What?" Nilaka, the tezakian, asks.

"There's no understating the importance of this answer. In fact, it'll take me 24 hours to come up with it."


"those ears are just for show, aren't they Anyway! Crew! Besides you two, we four others on this vessel, the S.S. Sergal."

"I know that part," chirps the chirp. "But who are they?"

"Don't be in such a rush! Kids these days have no patience, do they Roz?"

"Peep!" Roz says.

"Now, let's see. The other four members of the crew are..."

...Pause for effect...
No. 413499 ID: a0113c

Magic Johnson
No. 413500 ID: 80d422

your girlfriend Ashela, the cook titzi, and your gunner whats-her-face
No. 413501 ID: c891d3

No. 413502 ID: dcd48d

Fuck yeah Sue!
No. 413505 ID: 656eac

Crezi, salazzarine whose original role was written down neatly on the ledger that fell overboard a while ago. Missing both midlimbs, has three peg legs and patches on both eyes. Apparently still able to see.

W, a sentient shade of the colour taupe. The most boring entity ever known to mortal minds. Not really a crew member, per se; just showed up and no one has yet convinced it to go away. Has the world's largest collection of nautical-themed ties.

Titzi, who is probably lamenting the lack of a deed poll on the high waters.

Sue, who needs no introduction and probably doesn't want one anyway.
No. 413506 ID: 656eac

Oh god. Why did this not occur to me when I was writing that last post.

No. 413507 ID: 180ec2

A salazzarine >>/graveyard/289909
Magic Johnson
And a large spider that you only ever see out of the corner of your eye who occasionally whispers into your ear when he wants to talk.
No. 413508 ID: dcd48d

Oh yes, seconding her as well!
No. 413510 ID: a2fa74

These plus Magic Johnson, who is currently living inside this Crezi person -> >>413505

The rest of the people from Venji's escape are on the mainland. Wherever that was. They may or may not make codec calls from time to time.
No. 413511 ID: dcd48d

I like the codec call idea.
No. 413517 ID: bccf7b

Titzicon has impotent information for Solid Venice. She'll call use on 142.34
No. 413519 ID: bccf7b

curse you autocorrrect! Wait, you know what? The mistakes make it more fun.
No. 413522 ID: b9cd80

Set sail for Slissa quest.
No. 413526 ID: 56ec94

So Captain, what happens if you come up upon another vessel?
No. 413540 ID: cf49fc

Brother Jingles, our most valued helmsman.
No. 413541 ID: 1ba8cc

You're all missing Boaga!
No. 413567 ID: fdad59

Oh no! We forgot Boaga! Quick, throw someone overboard to make room!
No. 413598 ID: a43a6c

Sue, Titzi, Boaga, and Jiniki! A perfect balance between aggressive and cute!
No. 413638 ID: 56ec94

What about Ashela and Mantis? :C
No. 413644 ID: bccf7b

How about... BOATA?!
No. 413655 ID: 953355

Sue, Ashe, Boaga, Jiniki

God help us if not for Jiniki.
No. 413800 ID: be7ab0

use the dragon as a flail
No. 413812 ID: ce4a4d

Leimahtaa. She counts as four.
No. 413823 ID: 251c18

votin' for sue, magic johnson, titzi and jiniki
No. 413838 ID: b9e291

Anyone but Jiniki.
No. 413840 ID: 041e62

I'm liking this one alot
No. 413889 ID: 5e3d1a

August from Before the Storm and Mewlis from cat wizard quest?
No. 413921 ID: d6ae01
File 133744763078.png - (145.30KB , 700x600 , 5.png )

>So Captain, what happens if you come up upon another vessel?
If that happens, I guess we'll make the important decision of trading or pillaging. Or trading and pillaging, if we so desire.

>Titzi and the others
The other hybrids and Titzi are exploring the planet aboard the ship we... obtained from the scientists who were polite enough to miss us with their guns. I have a radio that can contact her if need be, but I'd rather not ask her to bail me out unless I have to. It wouldn't be sporting.

>Use the dragon as a flail
Nothing to use her on yet. I file this away as EMERGENCY ACTION 21. Never know when it'll come in handy.

"…Well?" The impatient dragoness asks.

I sigh. "It hasn't even been 24 seconds and you've already grown impatient. All right, fine. Let's see...

"There's that tiny angry bunny girl, the other hybrid who happens to be my greatest friend and rumored lesbian lover (The rumors are unproven, naturally), that tiny overly joyful bug girl who glows the color of error 592, and the big timid dragon who constantly finds himself in unfortunate and embarrassing situations with members of the opposite sex. That's not to say he'd be any more fortunate around the same sex, but it would seem my glorious answer has left him the only male on board.

"Except for Roz, of course."


"Well, you told us what they are," Nilaka says, "But not who they are. What are their names? Are they also on journeys to become incredible heroes?"
No. 413922 ID: d6ae01
File 133744764012.png - (96.00KB , 700x600 , 6.png )

I lean against the nose of our unfortunately named ship. "What do I look like, your nanny? If you want to know so badly, why don't you go ask them?"

"Ah, chirp... To be honest, they really creep me out. Especially that huge bug."

"They're all pervs," Dragontits says. "Every time I bend over provocatively they stare at me."

I chuckle. "Well, my dear, you don't exactly leave much to the imagination. If you need some clothing, I have plenty to spare."

"No thanks," she says, "the last time I wore clothes someone hit me on the back of the head and knocked me out. Those pervs."

"I don't think that's--"
No. 413923 ID: d6ae01
File 133744765177.png - (105.46KB , 700x600 , 7.png )

We're interrupted by the voice of a very scared dragon. "C-captain Venji! Captain Venji! I-I need your h-help!"

Nilaka's eyes widen as he looks back. "By Lakicia's wings..."

"What the hell is that!?" asks the not so bright dragoness.

"Something the matter, Boaga?" I ask.

"I-isn't it obvious?" He stammers.

"Hmm," I say, thinking for a moment. "Something does seem off..."
No. 413925 ID: d6ae01
File 133744766246.png - (223.22KB , 700x600 , 8.png )

"Ah, could you be referring to that demonic hell-spawn emerging from your back?"

"Y-yes!" Boaga says. "H-he said his name is M-magic Johnson."

"Finally the ball is in my court once again~ Beast, take me to that well-dressed woman~ Her ability to land the game-winning dunk appeals to me~ She will be a most delicious meal~"

"Hmm. Something familiar about him, but I can't quite place what," I say.

"C-chirp..." says Roz.

"S-should I do w-what it says and give it to you, captain?" Bo asks.

"Nah, I'm good. Besides, if there's anyone here who deserves to have an abomination to all that is good and just in the universe coming out of their back, it's you. I mean that."

No. 413926 ID: d6ae01
File 133744767307.png - (233.41KB , 700x600 , 9.png )

"A-all the same though, I'd r-really like it if you could g-get rid of it, captain. I-it's really scaring me!"

"Don't be afraid to take the shot, little beast~ I can grant you the power to land every three-pointer~ All I ask in return is a little bit of your biological energy to feast on~"

"B-but I'm saving t-that for a special someone!" Boaga whines.

"Anything he wants, huh?" I ask. "Sounds like a fantastic deal to me, Bo! There must be all kinds of things you'd want badly enough to make a deal with the devil himself!"

"N-no I... j-just please g-get him off he's s-scaring me."

"Would you feel better if he took on a less frightening form?"

Boaga nods, letting out another whine. Good thing we have a powerful dragon on our side, or I'd feel the slightest bit intimidated right now.

"I can take on any form you want, and grant any wish you desire~ I promise not to cause any fouls~"

"I'm going to leave this one up to you, big guy. Just don't ask for anything that would endanger my crew, or I'll have to max out my strength and stab you a bunch of times. I don't want to get blood on this outfit, so I'd prefer it not come to that!""

Boaga swallows hard. "Y-yes captain. I-I want..."
No. 413927 ID: fa9f7e

A Grentonis sex slave?
No. 413929 ID: 656eac

To become a magical girl.
No. 413930 ID: 5029d1

the power to win the heart of your lady!
No. 413931 ID: 431fa8

To be the very best- like no one ever was!
No. 413932 ID: c891d3

heck yes.
No. 413934 ID: d6ae01

A boat with a better name.
This is both a form and a wish.
No. 413937 ID: a0113c

Actually he's perfect the way he is and you're not so creeped out by him after all.

Wait, the only male on board besides Roz? What about Nilaka?
No. 413946 ID: 5347b8

The ability to win the heart of your fair lady, and request that he take the form of the most powerful warrior you can imagine!
No. 413958 ID: 041e62

The only one worth mentioning, I guess.

Boaga wants the power to woo any woman he desires!
No. 413987 ID: c6ec33

The power to cure all your girl problems.

...Become the rape knight.
No. 414011 ID: b85f8c

Power doesn't work well with relationships. CONFIDENCE does.

On the other hand I don't think it's ever a good idea to alter your own mind via a wish. Can you consider yourself to be the same person after that?

Maybe he could just wish to be more handsome.
No. 414113 ID: e3aff6

A sandwich.
No. 414121 ID: b0d466

Magic Johnson should take the form of A DANCING CACTUS
No. 414152 ID: 953355

yeah that one
No. 414154 ID: 196d1b

Yeah. This.
No. 414186 ID: 499093


No. 414201 ID: f9f77d

Boaga, you must accept this contract.
No. 414211 ID: 57dc3e

> To become a magical girl.

No. 414221 ID: a43a6c

Haha oh my god what is even going on
No. 414238 ID: 6f3646

Votin' for magical girl.
No. 414240 ID: b9e291

No. 414291 ID: b2112e

No. 414294 ID: 131de9

I'm going to suggest not making any Satanic deals with Magic Johnson. That just plain doesn't seem like a safe idea.
No. 414369 ID: d6ae01

Tell Roz to quit screwing around and get back on your shoulder. He can terrorize Boaga later.
No. 414456 ID: 30137e

Wish for more Magic Johnsons.
No. 414513 ID: 6427f3

But how will Boaga be the sole object of affection for everyone board if he is also a girl? Down voting all of the magical girl stuff, upvoting Boaga becoming a ladies' man.
No. 414542 ID: 5c94e7

Nah, see, He'll be a magical girl, but only when transformed.
No. 414545 ID: 5c94e7

also, he will still be a dragon.
No. 414551 ID: cf49fc

Does anyone have that /Quest Magical Girl thing from the fanart section? Like that.
No. 414622 ID: bdb3f8

this one. The very best. Like no one ever was. Presumably this will translate into the ability to perform Chaos Dunks better than Barkley.
No. 414660 ID: bf47be

Unlimited power. Never a bad thing to wish for.
No. 414741 ID: e3aff6

Unless it is supplied via unlimited voltage.
No. 414764 ID: d6ae01
File 133762634160.png - (239.45KB , 700x600 , 10.png )

>Wait, the only male on board besides Roz? What about Nilaka?
Like I bother keeping track of who has what. As long as they can wield a sword and give a mighty "Y'arr" it's all the same to me. Hmm, this might not be the best time to realize none of them can actually wield a sword. Note to self: Consider new crew.

"I-I want to be strong... A-and attractive..." Bo whimpers. "S-so I can be noticed by a certain special someone..."

"Why not make him a magical girl?" I say. "Nothing's more sexy than a man in a pink frilly dress, I always say."

"Chirp..." Roz says.

"Well, I would have said it had I thought of it before now. Forget the details! Make him a magical girl!"

"B-but I want to be a b-boy!" Boagirl protests.

"Well, big guy? Can you make Bo a male magical girl?"

"It'd be as easy as sinking a free-throw~"

"Well there you go, Bo. Power, looking good, and you don't have to suffer a hilarious change of gender for it! What more could a giant timid dragon possibly ask for?"
No. 414765 ID: d6ae01
File 133762635394.png - (193.46KB , 700x600 , 11.png )

"I-I don't know about this..."

"You want power, don't you~?"

"Y-yes but--"

"Then the contract is made~ But I must warn you~ Majicka..."
No. 414766 ID: d6ae01
File 133762636869.png - (317.32KB , 700x600 , 12.png )

"...is suffering :3"

"What-- wait! I c-changed my mind!"

"The contract is signed~ You're mine until after the playoffs~"
No. 414767 ID: d6ae01
File 133762638099.png - (255.29KB , 700x600 , 13.png )

"Gren! Help! Gren!"

"I don't think your knight in shining armor can hear you," I say.

"Wha-- no! I don't want him to show up!"

Ah, Boaga's 'knight in shining armor' is male, huh? This further confirms my theories that him and Nilaka fancy one another. Not sure why he calls him 'Gren', though. Guess it's a nickname.

"Will he be okay?" the dragoness asks.

"Well, he's currently glowing a hellish shade of green and about to embark on an overly elaborate transformation the likes of which we've never seen. Truth be told, I've done a little glowing myself back in the day. It usually resulted in horrifying bodily disfigurement leaving me disoriented and unable to walk straight. It took me weeks to learn how to utilize its body-changing properties for the purpose of looking like a damned cool captain."


"He'll be fine."

"If you say so..."
No. 414768 ID: d6ae01
File 133762638974.png - (57.88KB , 700x600 , 14.png )

"Listen up, Boaga!" I say. "Concentrate on your new outfit! I won't have you looking like some two-bit tramp on my vessel! Maybe something with frills!"

"C-concentrate on an outfit... um..."
No. 414780 ID: 62bece
File 133763038512.jpg - (147.60KB , 679x634 , magicalbo.jpg )

No. 414781 ID: 699da6


needs moar ribbons.
No. 414783 ID: 49e736

give him a fez.
No. 414784 ID: 7c31d2

What, no tiara?
No. 414785 ID: 62bece

I tried to keep it simplified so Slinko could draw it without hating himself :(

Damn. Knew I forgot something.
No. 414806 ID: f03814

Ice Cloud you are a god among dragons.
No. 414827 ID: d1e9bf
File 133763892045.png - (48.82KB , 700x600 , aw hell naw.png )

Screw that.

Boaga, take his power for yourself and become what you've always wanted to become: the coolest guy.
No. 414830 ID: 29ed72

No. 414831 ID: 48bd6c

upvote this
No. 414833 ID: a9298b

well that's pretty hard to argue with.
No. 414839 ID: b85f8c

This seems like something Boaga would do in response to being given the power to make his own "magical girl" outfit.
No. 414845 ID: b85f8c
File 133764059675.png - (46.00KB , 700x600 , pompaboaga.png )

...but it's missing something.
No. 414855 ID: c891d3

Gotta go with the classics.
No. 414868 ID: 953355
File 133764414457.png - (88.18KB , 700x600 , boling.png )

Don't look so down, Bo, the spikes are there to protect you.
No. 414869 ID: 132b99

spawn more boverlords
No. 414881 ID: 131de9


Regardless of gender, if you're going to be a magical girl, you really have to stick with tradition. This with a tiara.
No. 414883 ID: ebcb8d

No. 414892 ID: 784dcc
File 133764752807.png - (34.80KB , 700x600 , bodressup.png )

now in 100% less space
No. 414921 ID: 784dcc
File 133765060870.png - (90.18KB , 557x539 , bodressup.png )

I wish I could draw
No. 414974 ID: d75172
File 133765593167.png - (105.92KB , 629x568 , BoagaKnight.png )

Aaaaand it had to be done, I think.
No. 414981 ID: d3b959

And vote for this
No. 414982 ID: 5720b4

Tunnel snakes rule!

No. 415010 ID: a2fa74
File 133766004782.png - (55.19KB , 700x600 , MorePompCauseItsOneLetterFromPimp.png )

Still not quite right.
Lets fix that.
No. 415020 ID: 5c94e7

The leather tradition has not yet been fulfilled.
No. 415099 ID: 784dcc
File 133768497034.png - (35.81KB , 557x539 , bodressup.png )

Fine, I'll remove the STEVE layer. Or does it need more features?
No. 415487 ID: d6ae01
File 133781475515.png - (279.12KB , 800x700 , 15.png )

"O-oh goooossshhh!"
No. 415488 ID: d6ae01
File 133781480678.png - (176.64KB , 900x800 , 16.png )

I imagine some really incredible music playing as my eye is drawn to various parts of Bo's transformation.
No. 415489 ID: d6ae01
File 133781482476.png - (370.02KB , 900x800 , 17.png )

No. 415490 ID: d6ae01
File 133781485094.png - (189.35KB , 900x800 , 18.png )

La la hmm hmm hmm~ Dun dah~
No. 415491 ID: d6ae01
File 133781486798.png - (340.42KB , 900x800 , 19.png )

No. 415492 ID: d6ae01
File 133781489663.png - (181.24KB , 900x800 , 20.png )

I imagine an awesome guitar solo for this part.
No. 415494 ID: d6ae01
File 133781491194.png - (340.94KB , 900x800 , 21.png )

No. 415497 ID: d6ae01
File 133781503150.gif - (435.67KB , 800x700 , 22.gif )

I think I liked the dress better, but if it makes him happy I won't begrudge him a cool suit.
No. 415498 ID: d6ae01
File 133781505273.png - (102.07KB , 700x600 , 23.png )

"Hey b-babe wassup w-wanna go with me to the c-club later we'll tear up the night."

"Haha. Whoa there, big guy. I know you've fallen prey to my irresistible charms just as many before you have, but I think your new-found coolness would be better served wooing the heart of that bird over there."

"Word. Wait, what?"
No. 415499 ID: d6ae01
File 133781506537.png - (99.77KB , 700x600 , 24.png )

"Go on! don't be shy, Bo! Tell her-- him how you feel! Wax poetic about the nights you've dreamed of this moment!"

"U-um..." Boaga stammers.

"Aaaaaaa what's going ooooon" Nilaka chirps. Or speaks, I think he spoke that time.

"He wanted to look cool for you, 'Gren'!" I say, "Go on and thank him as a true gentleman would!"

"My name isn't Gren!" Nilaka protests.
No. 415500 ID: d6ae01
File 133781508650.png - (148.46KB , 900x800 , 25.png )

"Y-yeah! I-I don't even dig him that way!" Bo says.

"Nonsense! This is exactly how it goes in Roz's fanfic!"


"Don't think I didn't catch you writing it, you naughty bird. Serves me right for teaching you how to wield a pen."

I catch Sue in the corner of my eye. She holds up a map. "Hey captain, I think I've found--

No. 415501 ID: d6ae01
File 133781509695.png - (134.19KB , 900x800 , 26.png )

Huh. Wonder what she wanted?

"M-maybe we could have just one date," Nilaka says. "it does get kind of lonely on this ship"

"C-captain, could you put the p-poor bird down? This isn't jammin'."

"Oh, all right. Sorry Roz, but I believe we were mistaken."

No. 415502 ID: c891d3

Go after Sue.

Also arrange a date between Bo and Nilaka. Tonight.
No. 415503 ID: 953355

No. 415540 ID: 5c94e7

Sounds like Boaga and Magic Johnson are sharing consciousness.
No. 415549 ID: d1e9bf

Yeah, get them on a hilariously awkward date. In fact, you should make it your goal to hook up all members of your crew with one another!

Follow Sue.
No. 415986 ID: d6ae01
File 133797935003.png - (126.94KB , 700x622 , 27.png )

>Also arrange a date between Bo and Nilaka. Tonight.
"Still, mistaken or not it looks like our little bird friend is at least interested. Why not have dinner with him tonight? I'll even break out the Good Stuff just for you."

"B-but cap'n, I can't just p-play Gren like d-dat. I-I'm not a h-hater."

"Well, I mean, Gren isn't here," Nilaka says. "Besides, didn't she Friend Zone you?"

"D-don't say that!" Bo whines. "S-she'll stop playin'! She j-just has problems..."

"Unresolved issues, huh?" I ask. "Well, I know for a fact that Nilaka here has no problems at all-- delusional heroic beliefs aside."

Nilaka chirps in protest.

"Besides, he's a cute little bird guy. How can you not want to hug that?"

"H-he does l-look pretty fluffy... O-okay. M-maybe just one date."

"Excellent," I say with a grin. "Meet in my room at 19-hundred. I'll have it prepared for you by then."

Roz peeps happily.
No. 415987 ID: d6ae01
File 133797936557.png - (194.98KB , 700x622 , 28.png )

Nilaka chirps behind me as I head inside. He must be excited!
No. 415988 ID: d6ae01
File 133797937969.png - (253.44KB , 900x800 , 29.png )

"You wanted to see--"

"Hi captain! We found stuff! " Jiniki says telepathically.

"Erm, yes. We found... stuff," Sue says.

"Ooh, I love stuff!" I say, trying not to wag my many mutant tails. "What kind of stuff?"

"A boat! And a land! And they're different things this time!"

Ah, Boatland. Good times... "That's great! Any longer and members of our crew would have started dating through means outside my control and influence."

Roz shoots me a look. "Peep."
No. 415989 ID: d6ae01
File 133797938879.png - (104.75KB , 700x622 , 31.png )

I look at the crude drawings Sue made. "So, what 'stuff' did you find?"

"According to Ashe-dar, there is some land nearby-- if we adjust out course, we should be able to reach it in a couple of hours. She also detects a ship north of us. It's heading towards the land at a steady pace."

Good old Ashe-dar. My hearing is great, but it's nothing compared to hers.

I grin. "A ship, huh? I bet they have all kinds of booty to plunder."

"Or trade," Sue says.

"Or boring," I repeat.

Sue draws a few lines. "We are faster than them, meaning we could beat them to land and plan our next move there. Or we can get behind their ship and surprise it from behind. The third option is we raise the white flag and move to meet them head on. No sense getting bloody if we don't have to."

"Oh, you and your blood," I say. "Still, I'd hate to ruin the atmosphere for Bo and Nilaka's date tonight."

"they're doing what now"

"Ooh! A date! We could take their candles and light them and then it'll be super romantic and then they'll kissy and live happily ever after and we have to get candles captain we have to!"

Sue sighs. "Whatever. Just. What do you want to do, captain?"
No. 415990 ID: c891d3

We gotta make sure the date is perfect. Take the most leisurely option.
No. 415992 ID: 62bece

plunder the ship

nothing is more romantic than swashbuckling
No. 415993 ID: fe7be4

Intercept the ship.

Make up for the change in schedule by rescheduling the date for right now.
No. 416008 ID: d1e9bf

Get to the shore before them! It'll be just like the time those natives caught that one explorer guy when he got off the boat and killed all his friends, and you're the natives!
No. 416009 ID: f453e3

No. 416010 ID: 180ec2

Is your... ship... armed? Like, does that mouth open up and shoot missiles? Head towards land and keep an eye on the ship until you can see what it's doing. Don't want to let them ruin the date.
No. 416015 ID: c71597

Time to get your plundering faces on!
No. 416017 ID: d6ae01
File 133799292239.png - (77.86KB , 700x600 , 32.png )

We do have one gun...
No. 416021 ID: 299ed3

What does it fire?
No. 416024 ID: b9d767

Oh god I just realized the boat is a giant head. This should be interesting.
No. 416040 ID: 8c9005

Wait until you realize what the 'gun' it has in its mouth looks like.
No. 416049 ID: 57dc3e

Is it just me or does the boat look incredibly sad?
No. 416052 ID: 62bece


Don't forget to give your boat its daily regimen of antidepressants
No. 416059 ID: 5c94e7

does that mean we're living on top of a giant sergal?
No. 416138 ID: b28ec2

The boat isn't sad, she just doesn't like sticking her gun out where people can see it. She's shy about her freudian weapon.
No. 416924 ID: 127df6

Poor guy.......anyway, lets just go to the land. As much as I love saying arrrr! I'm no pirate.

Prepare for squee!!! 10, 9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1, Squuuuuuuueeeeeeeee!!!!!' Everyone is so adorable!!! ^.V.^
No. 417119 ID: b2112e

Well duh. How do you think they've been moving?
No. 418053 ID: d6ae01
File 133858991397.png - (131.29KB , 700x600 , 33.png )

>Do the date now!
Nonsense! It's only 13:50. The sun's still out! That won't do at all. The timing must be absolutely perfect.

>Land or Plunder??
"An equal part of me wants to take both options."

"There's three options..." Sue says.

"What do you think, Roz?"

"Peep... chirp chirp peep."

"Ah, of course. If we want to make the date we shouldn't waste time setting up traps. We'll take the direct approach and--" I plow the screwdriver into the map. "Strike their ship from behind!"

"But we don't know their strength," Sue says. "I don't think that's a--"

"Pirates don't think! We pillage! Now get your sword!"

"I don't have a..."

I run out of the room. No time to waste!
No. 418054 ID: d6ae01
File 133858993289.png - (141.29KB , 900x800 , 34.png )

>That thing's a face???
Ah yes, the S.S. Sergal. As far as I can tell, it's the result of a rather unfortunate scientific experiment. I'm pretty sure it's just a face that's also a boat, but the other members of the crew have a few... theories.

Hmm, I hadn't thought of it before, but is my vessel male or female? Do boats even have genders?

>Don't forget to give your boat its daily regimen of antidepressants
Ah, yes! We're going to need our ship in tip top shape if we're going to be pillaging and plundering!
No. 418055 ID: d6ae01
File 133858997756.png - (54.49KB , 700x600 , 35.png )

I grab some COUNTER-DEPRESS and lean over the railing. "Okay, buddy. I just need you to take this for me, okay?"

It closes its mouth and whines.

"Now now, don't be like that. You'll feel a lot better once you swallow this, I promise!"

"Peep," Roz says.

"I'm glad you're excited, Roz, but I think this is one of those very rare moments in which violence isn't the answer."
No. 418057 ID: d6ae01
File 133859005268.gif - (95.28KB , 700x600 , 36.gif )

"Okay, boat. Come on and--"

"Just let me--"

"It won't hurt if you just--"

"Open up and--"

Okay, this isn't working. I need to think of some way to get my ship to take an anti-depressant.
No. 418059 ID: 132b99

hold it's nostrils shut until it opens it mouth to breathe, then throw it in.
No. 418063 ID: c891d3

Your boat is obviously male. It's the only way any of this would make sense, if you think about it.

Also, >>418059 is pretty much the classic way to do this.
No. 418070 ID: 32fc7d

Good news, the anti-depressant is a suppository.
No. 418074 ID: fdad59

Yeah, get two crew mates to hold its nostrils shut while you wait to throw the COUNTER-DEPRESS in.

Ships are generally referred to having a female gender, so this one may as well be female as well.
No. 418084 ID: 196d1b

After discussing many ancient tomes of sergal canon, I have determined that this is obviously a girl boat. You can tell by the direction the rudder is facing.
No. 418086 ID: d1e9bf

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down!
No. 418163 ID: 7a2594

Cook that shit on a spoon, draw it into a syringe, and force inject it into him/her.

Or you could sneak it into something the ship finds yummy.
No. 418213 ID: dcd48d

>>418063 this, pretty much. Also I vote for putting it in somthin he finds tasty.
No. 418255 ID: 62bece

Boats are referred to as she, so yours is obviously female!

the two crew members should be Nilaka and Jiniki
No. 418314 ID: 196d1b

We should probably get Magic Johnson and Jiniki to do that, its easier to reach over if you're majick or however they spell it.
No. 418365 ID: 86cd06

Swim down and tickle his underside, then get someone to throw it in while he giggles!
No. 418575 ID: d6ae01
File 133877633928.png - (44.75KB , 700x600 , 37.png )

>Ships are generally referred to having a female gender, so this one may as well be female as well.
>Boats are referred to as she, so yours is obviously female! 
It's true that boats are generally referred to with a feminine pronoun, but...

Why waste time wondering? Let's take a closer look and find out!
No. 418576 ID: d6ae01
File 133877635382.gif - (56.45KB , 700x600 , 38.gif )


That answers that!
No. 418577 ID: d6ae01
File 133877638904.png - (117.61KB , 700x600 , 39.png )

>hold it's nostrils shut until it opens it mouth to breathe, then throw it in.
>We should probably get Magic Johnson and Jiniki to do that, its easier to reach over if you're majick or however they spell it.
"B-but I don't w-want to call out Magic Johnson! H-he scares me," Boaga says.

Jiniki climbs on top of Boaga. "I can do it I can do it! Just hold me up for a second so I can see!"

"she scares me t-too..."

"Now we wait," I say.

Any second now... and...

No. 418578 ID: d6ae01
File 133877640576.png - (103.74KB , 700x600 , 40.png )

"Now! Rub her throat so she swallows it! Or, okay that's close enough."


"Goood girl. Who's momma's little boat? That's right! You are!"
No. 418581 ID: d6ae01
File 133877660230.png - (116.11KB , 700x600 , 41.png )

It doesn't take long for the COUNTER-DEPRESS to kick in. We're really moving now!


"Oh gosh this is way too fast!"

"I-is this safe, captain??"


Oh! We'll be closing on the enemy ship any time now. Two people will need to man the cannon--

>What does it fire?
>Wait until you realize what the 'gun' it has in its mouth looks like.
--Which fires cannonballs made of lead.

Another person has to ready my cabin for Boaga and Nilaka's date. Obviously, Boaga and Nilaka can't be the ones doing that. I should also leave at least one person to defend our deck. With all that in mind, I wonder who I should take swashbuckling with me?
No. 418588 ID: c891d3

Take Sue and the dragon chick.
No. 418601 ID: 80d422

take Boaga and Nilaka
No. 418602 ID: 80d422

or ROZONANCE CASCADE and bring roz instead
No. 418604 ID: 196d1b

Well, you want someone overpowered to be on defense. You obviously can't stay behind, and Jiniki needs to come to be adorable. The dragon and the magic bird need to come too, I think Magic Johnson is stuck with them. That leaves a short fuzzy thing and a slutty lizard. The former was a damsel in distress character, so clearly this means she must now be hardened and capable in battle. Pick her to stay behind. The others can come with you. Unless... can the boat be the defender?
No. 418616 ID: 62bece

This + jiniki

Have Sue man the cannon and leave Dragontits on deck
No. 418638 ID: 7a2594

You should take Bo, obviously, and Dragon. Why? Because fuck the police that's why.
No. 419379 ID: d6ae01
File 133903126127.png - (92.84KB , 700x600 , 42.png )

"All right," I say, "The enemy ship's coming into sight now."

"I bet they're evil-doers!" Nilaka peeps. "I'll take this sword I found and slay the lot of them! Just like a true hero!"

"W-we shouldn't kill them," Bo says. "It wouldn't be chill, d-dawg."

"Yeah heroes don't kill people they go into their houses and take their stuff!" Jiniki says.

"Right you are!" I reply. "Now then Boaga, Nilaka, and Jiniki are with me. Sue will man the MAIN CANNON with Ashela guiding her, and Dragontits will stay back and fend off anybody who comes on board."

"Why does everyone call me that?" the dragoness asks. "I have a name, you know."

"Hmm? What is it, then?"

"It's Wyvernbreasts."

"…Can I call you Dragontits for short?"

No. 419382 ID: d6ae01
File 133903134451.png - (153.19KB , 700x600 , 43.png )

I have Dragontits hand me my telescope, and take a gander at the enemy ship. "Oh, man! Is that a space ship!? I must have it."

Our speed drops.

"Er, that's what I would say if we didn't already have the most awesome ship ever."

Our speed increases. Thank the Precursors for COUNTER-DEPRESS.

Huh. something about that ship seems... off. "Adjust our course. We need to get behind them before they can sight us."
No. 419383 ID: d6ae01
File 133903138155.png - (158.11KB , 700x600 , 44.png )

I get a closer look as we near their ship. They can't be very bright if they're letting a dog drive. A female pirate looks to be giving it instructions. That must be one smart puppy! She can't be the captain, though-- she has no bird.

Still, she looks experienced. Her swordplay might prove superior to mine. Thankfully I have a few tricks up my sleeve.

Man, my very first pirate swordfight. How exciting!
No. 419384 ID: d6ae01
File 133903156443.png - (63.32KB , 700x600 , 45.png )

"We're in position, captain," Sue says from below. "The main cannon is ready if you need it."

"Here are the grappling lines you wanted, captain," Nilaka says.

"Ooh ooh should I bring something I can bring anything you want we have like everything below deck if you want me to bring something just tell me okay!"

We still have the element of surprise. Our goal is to loot the ship, but I'd love to add it to my fleet. It's a goddamn spaceship! Let's try not to sink it.

"What are your orders, captain?
No. 419385 ID: 9e3c3d

Element of surprise, huh.

Put Nilaka and Boaga in the cannon. They'll disable the ship's crew once they land. If they survive. If not, um, plan B is for someone else to think of.
No. 419386 ID: 7acb8e

Fire the Grappling device! It's time for a boarding!
No. 419387 ID: 132b99

obviously it's the navigator and the uhhh, 'dog's' strength let's him turn the wheel REALLY hard.
get in close and latch on.
No. 419409 ID: c891d3

What are you waiting for? Board 'em!
No. 419434 ID: e3d099

Fire the grappling device at a ship capable of taking off up into space at a moment's notice, dragging anything grappled to it along behind? I see nothing wrong with this plan.
No. 419455 ID: 7a2594

it's a good thing none of you have empathetic links... you don't, right?
No. 419704 ID: 8aa2c9

Agreed, this sounds like the perfect plan

Jiniki should bring along a collection of smoke bombs for use as distractions
No. 419964 ID: d6ae01
File 133920417528.png - (119.04KB , 700x600 , 46.png )

"Land... see.”

"What luck! If this really is the Lost Island, we're gonna be set for life!"

"Glad... happy."

"Me too, big guy. Just keep our course steady and we'll make landfall within the hour. Understand? Oh, I guess you do. I'm never gonna get used to that weird empathy thing you do."
No. 419965 ID: d6ae01
File 133920418752.png - (121.80KB , 700x600 , 47.png )


"Um, do you hear something?"
No. 419968 ID: d6ae01
File 133920422279.png - (117.73KB , 700x600 , 48.png )

"Ha-HA! I hereby declare this awesome damn spaceship the property of captain Venji! Surrender all your booty and your ship to me! If you're nice, I'll even let you join my crew!"


"Don't worry, little buddy, they'll be off-screen most of the time."


The cat-lady huffs as she swaps her hookhand for a swordhand. "Great, we're under attack. Three-stripes, go get the others. I'll fend off these sons of--"

"Jiniki! You handle the big guy, I'll take on the cat!"


Boaga, being a dragon, wasn't able to climb up the ropes. But I have something special planned for him.

"Cocky little thing, aren't you?" the cat says. She charges with her sword-arm drawn. "Have at you!"
No. 419970 ID: d6ae01
File 133920429424.png - (93.29KB , 700x600 , 49.png )




We strike at each others' swords several times before pausing. I already know what she's planning.

The swordplay is just for show. The real fight was about to come.

She smirks at me. "Feathers and ears? I find your looks incredibly droll."

I must now come up with a good counter to her verbal attack, and think up an attack of my own!
No. 419972 ID: 7acb8e

The feathers are just there for arm decoration. Just like you actually, jealous?
No. 419976 ID: d1e9bf

"My feathers just mean that I'm worth two in the bush, if you know what I mean."
Follow it up with a wink.

"I was going to disarm you, but it looks like someone's taken care of that already."
No. 419978 ID: 132b99

No. 419994 ID: 4bdd79

No. 419998 ID: 252e1b

Yeah that's pretty good.
No. 420001 ID: c891d3

Oh snap.
No. 420002 ID: 7acb8e

Hell, this gets my vote as well :P
No. 420029 ID: 1f8505


"Your swordplay is lacking. Looks like you need a hand with it."
No. 420063 ID: a5c529

dayum go with that!
No. 420135 ID: bdb3f8

Is the comeback supposed to rhyme? Where are we in the series?

Follow up question. Is "how appropriate, you fight like a cow" still a valid answer to everything?
No. 420211 ID: d6ae01

Woah, woah, woah. Hold the hell up. We're are SEA. That means that your retort has to rhyme, or it doesn't count.
"I dress for success, not some lame minor role!"
Follow it up with:
"Are you okay? You look a bit orange."
No. 420220 ID: 132b99

really? if true then yes
No. 420246 ID: d6ae01

Due to the nature of this combat, I will make an attempt to do multiple updates tomorrow so it's not super dragged out. EXCITING!
No. 420514 ID: d6ae01
File 133936595734.png - (94.78KB , 700x600 , 50.png )

"My feathers just mean that I'm worth two in the bush, if you know what I mean." wink. 

"What? That doesn't even rhyme!"

"Compared to mine your swordplay's sub-prime!"

"Yes, that's much bett-- Ah!"

*Tink! Clank!*
No. 420515 ID: d6ae01
File 133936597186.png - (99.13KB , 700x600 , 51.png )

Rhyming, eh? I take initiative for the next round. "Are you okay? You look a bit... orange."

"Um... Door-hinge? Damn it-- using that one goes against pirate code! I'll have you dance the hempen jig for that, you aberrated carouser!"

"Big threats coming from a small... mouser?"


Whoops! Guess I can only cheat the system so much.
No. 420517 ID: d6ae01
File 133936601373.png - (93.92KB , 700x600 , 52.png )

The cat composes herself. "I shan't fall again to your swindling flimflammery!"

Once again, I'll need a retort and an attack.
No. 420521 ID: c891d3

"I'm shaking, I'm shaking!"


No. 420523 ID: 6e44d2

You'll need every advantage you can get, with those sub-par mammaries!

My swordplay is golden and my tongue is of silver.
No. 420527 ID: 927efa

"My sexual preference is polyamory!"
No. 420541 ID: d1e9bf

This is perfect.
No. 420562 ID: 832235

This as the retort
No. 420591 ID: dae4bc

If "orange" goes against pirate code, won't "silver" be off-limits too?
No. 420592 ID: 132b99

there are ER words.
No. 420617 ID: d6ae01
File 133937795399.png - (91.25KB , 700x600 , 53.png )

>"You'll need every advantage you can get with those sub-par mammaries!"

"What!? I'm bigger than you! You couldn't even serve as a wench with that... uh... whoops"

*Clink clank!*

"Peep! Peep!"

"Now isn't the time, Roz!"
No. 420619 ID: d6ae01
File 133937796262.png - (75.58KB , 700x600 , 54.png )

>"My swordplay is golden and my tongue is of silver."

"For such a boastful boatswain you fail to deliver!"


Amazing. I expected this to be an easy win, but she's matching me blow for blow. She'll make a fine addition to my crew, once I prove my superiority!

She pauses, clearly waiting for me to make my move. Time to finish this with the best insult I can muster!
No. 420623 ID: d1e9bf

"I like how you're trying so hard to make up for the loss of your hand. Just give up, girl."
No. 420624 ID: 132b99

you have some skill, that's fine and dandy, but you'll see, i'm a lot more handy!

No. 420627 ID: 927efa

You're blow for blow matching me. Now witness my superiority!
No. 420630 ID: fa9f7e

No. 420637 ID: c891d3

No. 420745 ID: c6ec33

Break it down into an epic rap battle.

>"For such a boastful boatswain you fail to deliver!"

"Your insults, I'm afraid, don't even make me quiver.

Because, if I used an arrow, it would be just too easy - your ass is so huge, it's making me queasy!

No matter who wins, at least my ass is smaller than yours. But in fact, screw this sword, I could beat you with some oars!

This swordfight is a favor, dear! Please don't shed a tear. It's true, I pity you, since it's exercise you fear!

Maybe a little more swordplay will do wonders for your rear!"
No. 421699 ID: d6ae01
File 133963726415.png - (94.98KB , 700x600 , 55.png )

I waste no time. "You're matching me blow for blow. Now witness my superiority!"

"Talk big all you want, at sword fighting I have seniority!"

Time to finish this! "You have some skill, that's fine and dandy, but you'll see, I'm a lot more handy!"

Ha! There's no countering my two hit combo! VICTORY IS wait isn't she supposed to drop her sword oh right it's attached isn't it
No. 421701 ID: d6ae01
File 133963731241.png - (100.43KB , 700x600 , 56.png )

She gives a low chuckle. "Even without my hand I became quite the grandee. Taking down weaklings like you is my modus operandi!"


Well, that's inconvenient. I wonder how Jiniki's doing?
No. 421703 ID: d6ae01
File 133963734311.png - (145.88KB , 700x600 , 57.png )

"Captain I can't lift him he's too heavy!"

"Not fat..."
No. 421705 ID: d6ae01
File 133963738176.png - (72.25KB , 700x600 , 58.png )

The cat smiles. "Give me one good reason not to behead you this instant, you dirty creature of the bilge."

"Because I technically won the sword-fight and you only have me bested because you rigged it so you could never lose."

"Is the same scallywag who used the Forbidden Word accusing me of cheating?"


She looks me over. "Hmph. Fair enough, I will give you one chance to convince me why I would ever want to join your crew."

Hahaha wow is she ever letting me off easy. There's so many reasons why I'm the most awesome pirate to sail the fucking ocean, but I suppose I can pick a few favorites.
No. 421710 ID: d6ae01

SUMMON THE BOAGA. Y'know. To seduce her.

...Maybe a Kraken. Damn, we wasted that majicka. Shoulda used it on the boat.
No. 421712 ID: 6bfca7

Show her Boaga's TRUE POWER and promise her more of the same
No. 421739 ID: c891d3

Plan Boaga better be go.
No. 421754 ID: d1e9bf

Now, I might not know Boaga all that well, but I'm pretty sure he'd mess it up.

Go for it.
No. 421759 ID: b85f8c

Your boat is a living ship, you have not one but TWO dragons, not one but TWO magical familiars, a super-lucky bird, and you. A superpowered hybrid who could bend her sword in two then eat it.

What, she thought you were disarmed? Hardly.
No. 422382 ID: 191c84

That is a good idea eat the sword.
No. 422387 ID: a9298b

eating her sword is clearly the way to go
No. 422407 ID: b33427

Oh, and Jiniki should hug the big, weird looking dog, 'cause he looks sad, and big sad dogs obviously need hugs. Big majicka hugs.
No. 422628 ID: 4bdd79

No. 422731 ID: 0b7fa2

Show her the definition of swag that is boaga.
No. 423615 ID: d6ae01
File 133997260030.png - (81.58KB , 700x600 , 59.png )

Oh, I have one of those. It doesn't work on me so I've been feeding it to Roz.

*Homph* "Fo' one fing, my ship if literally alive."

"holy shit you just ate my sword"

*Gulp* "Yeah, I do that. Anyway, I have two dragons, two magical familiars, a bird that's lucky to be alive, and of course myself. I'm the most awesome goddamn thing you'll ever lay eyes on."

"what the hell are you"

"And above all, I always have a way out of a sticky situation."


"Roz! Give the signal!"

"Peep peep peep!!!"
No. 423616 ID: d6ae01
File 133997261893.png - (132.01KB , 700x600 , 61.png )


"Now it's time to unleash your power~"

"m-my what"

No. 423619 ID: d6ae01
File botransform.swf - (357.50KB , 600x500 )

(Please click the flash)
No. 423620 ID: d6ae01
File 133997273648.png - (98.06KB , 700x600 , 62.png )

"Y-you better be nice o-or I'll punish you in the f-face!!!"

No. 423621 ID: d6ae01
File 133997276615.png - (147.86KB , 700x600 , 63.png )

"Yeah, fuck this." The feline turns away.

"So you'll join my crew?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Awesome! Okay Boaga, use your magical girl powers to take over the ship."

"W-what? I don't even know what my magical powers are!"

"You don't? Guess I'll come up with some powers for you."

"W-why do you get to decide what my powers are!?"

"Because I'm the fucking captain!"

Now then. Boaga's magical girl powers are...
No. 423623 ID: a6f316

No. 423625 ID: 299ed3

He has the ability to create more magical girls, He's infectious!
No. 423635 ID: 9718f3

No. 423640 ID: c891d3

No. 423642 ID: 09e5bf

Why don't you just shorten it to

No. 423672 ID: 9e3c3d

No. 423685 ID: a9298b

hah, yes, this
No. 423686 ID: 131de9


Combining these two ideas really is the only possible way to go. It's like Space Channel 5.
No. 423687 ID: d1e9bf

The effects are only temporary, of course. You wouldn't want your entire crew permanently becoming magical girls!
No. 423834 ID: b59bfb

He's like the disco zombie from plants vs. zombies...
No. 424083 ID: d6ae01
File 134011969058.gif - (311.81KB , 700x600 , 64.gif )

"Your new power is making everyone a magical girl! Temporarily, of course."


"Also disco."


Hm? Did Jiniki go back to the ship? Ah well, looks like the dog's tamed. "Okay Boaga, go inside and convert the rest with the power of magical girl disco."

"It's like Gren never left..."
No. 424084 ID: d6ae01
File 134011972513.png - (242.96KB , 700x600 , 65.png )

Boaga pauses at the door. "Um, c-captain, there's a slight problem."

"What, is it locked? You're a dragon! Just bust down the it's made of cardboard isn't it."


"Damnation. Well, my lad, this can only mean one thing."

"please don't say it"
No. 424086 ID: d6ae01
File 134011987256.png - (243.73KB , 700x600 , 66.png )


"Discovered the cardboard, huh?" the feline asks in tune with the beat.


"It's all for show of course, but there is a vessel underneath. Figured making it look bigger would scare off pirates. You can see how well that worked. By the way, how long are you going to keep Three-Stripes waiting?"

"Who? The dog?"

"He's projecting his desire to join you and embark on a quest to find his new... best friend? A great sense of loss? What the hell is he on about?"

"Oh. You'll have to tell me when he does that. I don't speak dogmotions."

"Right... Anyway, down below is our third crew member, who goes by--"

"Don't tell me! Let me guess!"

"There's absolutely no way you'd be able to--"

"The third crew member is...!"
No. 424088 ID: 9e3c3d

A rock.
No. 424090 ID: dc3600

A snake.
No. 424093 ID: c6ec33

No. 424101 ID: 927efa

Spikesby holding a rock and a snake.
No. 424102 ID: 299ed3

The happy fish.
No. 424104 ID: f7ae22

Spikesby all the way
No. 424116 ID: cf49fc

No. 424151 ID: a83682

No. 424187 ID: d6ae01

No. 424195 ID: 83bff0

”Just how long are you going to keep shouting guesses?” the pirate captain replied. ” You're not even close! Your guessing is as bad as your dueling... er, matey. Arr.”

She then pulled back the curtain to reveal... something completely unexpected!
No. 424204 ID: 196d1b

This sounds like the best possible idea.
No. 424219 ID: 0b7fa2

I'm going to take a stab at alison, because I mean we're doing the monster mash anyways with the quests, why NOT alison.
No. 424233 ID: d5ee6f

No. 424324 ID: 735cd9

Spikesby. He's busy 'wak'ing off to Scalene.
No. 424342 ID: 80d422

No. 424344 ID: 886a4d

I... like the idea of Alison. Who cares if she is a digital construct.
No. 424346 ID: 4bdd79

No. 424347 ID: 09e5bf

I'll support digimon alison
No. 424350 ID: 0b7fa2

YEAH, let's go alison!
No. 424368 ID: bdb3f8

Alison? man, you guys want to serial hugger like that into the grim darkness of Slinkoworld? I dunno if she would fit in.

I guess it's okay as long as she is a digimon.
No. 424369 ID: c891d3

I wasn't sure if I should've voted for her but sure Alison why not.
No. 424370 ID: f453e3

No. 424391 ID: 196d1b

Spikesby sounds fun.
No. 424394 ID: 132b99

No. 424770 ID: d17d40

Alison and Spikesby in bed together. ;)
No. 424785 ID: d1e9bf

No. 424791 ID: a9298b

No. 424795 ID: fb1059

A sergal with a boat for a head.
No. 424796 ID: 1f8505

No. 424797 ID: c4e8ee

No. 424798 ID: 5327a0


No. 425481 ID: 5e8cb4

Saikhan! I want to see a huggy pirate!
No. 425516 ID: 067a04

Spikesby, He's been on vacation from /quest/ for far too long.
No. 425531 ID: b7e4d5

Gren, but a boy.
No. 425557 ID: 2ed56b

Northern Sergal!!!

Alternately, Laser Gnoll.
No. 425614 ID: d6ae01
File 134056683028.png - (82.76KB , 700x600 , 67.png )


"Hornswaggle! I can't believe you guessed it! What kind of black magics do you practice!?"

"Heh. 'Tis not magic, but awesome I... okay, I can't really talk like you. Let's just say my knowledge and foresight are unparalleled. Truly, there is no captain with my sense... of...

"...She's also cardboard."

"Aye. There's no running a rig on one as grand as you."

Is... she mocking me? I can't understand half the shit she says when she talks like that.
No. 425615 ID: d6ae01
File 134056685383.png - (106.36KB , 700x600 , 68.png )


Oh. Must have miscounted.

"He probably's asking if you're going to shove a random object down his throat."

"You can understand him?" I ask.

"No, but Three-stripes claims he always asks that of people who look like... well, you. No offense, love the hair, but you don't strike me as a regular corsair."

Did she just sneak in another insult? Where's my sword!
No. 425616 ID: d6ae01
File 134056689062.png - (110.67KB , 700x600 , 69.png )

"She's not a wizard," the jerk says.

"Wak? Wak... wak wak wak. Wak wak, waaaaak wak wak."

I think he likes me!

"This-- what's your name?"

"Venji. Captain Venji," I say with pride.

"Right. This picaroon is our new captain. Help me drag the booty to her ship."

Venji the picaroon. Nice ring to it. I'll have to use that one sometime.
No. 425618 ID: d6ae01
File 134056696079.png - (103.20KB , 700x600 , 70.png )

It takes a couple of hours getting everyone settled, which means it's just about time for that date! I imagine the captain's quarters in my mind and briefly regret my inability to take a class in architecture.

I have to make this perfect. I should consider the type of music to play, what kind of food to serve, maybe even decorate a little bit.

Would Nilaka be insulted if I served bird-seed? Dragons can eat that, right?

"Peep peep?"

"You really have to ask? Of course we'll be spying-- I mean, keeping an eye on them. Tonight has to be perfect!"
No. 425620 ID: c891d3

Yeah your quarters are definitely lacking in candles.

Also be sure to serve alcohol with dinner!
No. 425626 ID: d1e9bf

Get Boaga and Nikala presentable, first. Boaga should comb down that ridiculous pompadour for something much more presentable. I cannot name any examples, as my specialty is not hairstyling; Instead, it is the preparation and serving of food.

Candles and somewhat dim lighting are a must. Music should be slow dancing music, something with strings and minimal woodwind or percussion. The meal should be in 5 courses, starting with Hors D'Oeuvres; perhaps a selection of antipasto. The second course should consist of a a light green salad served with Italian vinaigrette or tossed with olive oil and vinegar. The third course is braised chicken and quartered red potatoes seasoned with olive oil and rosemary, with salt and pepper on-demand. Course four is a slow-roasted sirloin served rare-medium rare in peppercorn gravy, peppercorns left intact, alongside mashed potatoes and roasted whole tomatoes stuffed with Parmesan cheese and chopped spinach. The fifth and final course is Crème brûlée, chocolate and vanilla eclairs, and sweet dessert wines.

On the topic of alcohol; Boaga cannot hold his liquor. With that in mind, introduce limited amounts of Californian wine during the first and second courses to warm him up to the situation. Leave a bottle during the third and fourth courses, to be replaced on demand. As the fifth course is being served, replace with the aforementioned sweet dessert wine.

The result should be a romantic evening with a sated and somewhat inebriated dragon and bird. How far it goes after that is completely up to you, as you are their captain.
No. 425629 ID: fed066

Look around for a big fat rat and drown it in seawater. Serve as-is.
No. 425791 ID: 08005b

Since you regenerate fast, shop of your penis and serve as is.
No. 426297 ID: c891d3

Wow this is better than anything I could come up with.
No. 426298 ID: f453e3

No. 426757 ID: d6ae01
File 134082948931.png - (107.79KB , 700x600 , 71.png )

Wow, I... hadn't realized I was so into this. Could I possibly have a "thing" for dragon/avian couplings? Nah, I'm sure it's just my unmatched devotion to the happiness of my crew-mates.


Roz's intentions are far less pure, however.

My regeneration was ner-- I mean, I'm not that good at it anymore. I put those points into BIRD.

After all, what good is regeneration if a pirate can't look her best?
No. 426758 ID: d6ae01
File 134082953207.png - (208.41KB , 700x600 , 72.png )

I see Boaga combed his hair into the only other style he could be drawn with. Thankfully birds aren't known for being very picky.

"T-thanks for um, setting this up, captain," Boaga says.

"Yeah, um, this is really nice..."

"No problem! Just eat, drink, and be merry! Tonight is all about you two!"

They stare at the food in silence, not really looking at each other. A long awkward moment passes before the first tentative bites are taken.

"I-it's really good," Bo says, "did you make this?"

"Of course! I wanted only the best of the best for you two, so I personally went through the trouble of asking Sue to make it."

"Your um, your feathers look really colorful tonight," Bo says. "Y-you seem especially shiny."

Nilaka blushes, somehow. "Thanks... um... I always liked the color purple."

Was that the bird version of a compliment? Tezakithingies are so fascinating and strange! Now then. Should I try and nudge these two together, or--

Huh. The boat's losing speed. Did the COUNTER-DEPRESS wear off? Anyway. I can either play matchmaker or leave them alone and hope I don't end up needing a new bed to sleep in tonight.

"Peep~" Roz says, fluffing up. Guess he hopes otherwise.
No. 426760 ID: c891d3

Man, these guys are totally unsure of what to do or talk about. We gotta help 'em out.

Why don't'cha ask 'em about what kind of things they like and see if there's anything in common?
No. 426761 ID: 196d1b

It'll be fine. It knows what it's doing. Unlike those two. Keep the wine flowing. They're going to have the most adorable children.
No. 426762 ID: 953355

Okay, maybe should have broken the ice with a movie or something before dinner. Oh well!

Try, uh, to get them talking about hobbies or something. What does that glowy bird even do all day, fanfic like roz? Self-insert stories about saving the day? Does Bo guard shiny things because birds love shiny things.
No. 426767 ID: d1e9bf

Oh, don't lie to yourself, you are all into dragon/bird relationships.

With that in mind, you should help them out. They're not going to get anywhere without your help! Leave for a few minutes, then come back. If they're not talking on their own by then, ask them what part of the meal they like best, or ANYTHING to get them to see if they have anything in common. This meal will not be a failure, damn it, Sue you put so much effort into cooking all of that!
No. 427050 ID: 795625

Force them to kiss, Venji

Get this ball rolling
No. 427188 ID: d6ae01

You know what really brings two people together? Tension, danger, and horror. Get one to point a gun at the other, and they'll be in bed within six images. Guaranteed.
No. 430592 ID: d6ae01
File 134186261785.png - (111.00KB , 700x600 , 73.png )

>Keep the wine flowing.
>We gotta help 'em out. 
>What does that glowy bird even do all day, fanfic like roz?
"So! Working on any fanfi-- stories, Nilaka?"

"Oh yes! I'm revising one about this awesome and overwhelmingly handsome Tezakian pirate who goes on an adventure and he ends up having to slay a drago--"

I grin. "So he sets out to slay the dragon, but ends up laying it?"

Nilaka gets flustered. "Th-that isn't it at all--!"

"I didn't know you wrote," Boaga says. "W-would you mind letting me read your stories sometime?"

Nilaka fidgets. "Oh, uh, but they're not finished yet..."

"W-well I'd still like to read them... I could show you m-mine, too. T-there's one you might like. See, it's raining one day, and I'm a poncho, and..."

Boaga continues talking but I tune it out. This isn't going at all like I planned. Talking shyly about books? Bah! This isn't how pirates romance each other! Where's the heroics? The passion?

>Leave for a few minutes, then come back.
I try to sneak out, but the sad looking creature blocks my way.

"Wak wak wak wak wak wak"

I suddenly have a great idea. Time to kick things up a notch!
No. 430593 ID: d6ae01
File 134186264495.png - (113.66KB , 700x600 , 74.png )

"Take my sword, Nilaka!"

"What? Why!?"

"You'll never win Bo's heart with stories and blushing! You have to show him your passion!"

"My what!?"

"Prove your worth! Show him the might of your insults!"


I raise my 'sword' in my off-hand.

"Waaaaaak!" Sad yellow guy sounds anxious. Worry not, little buddy! This is for a good cause.

Let's start with something easy. "I'm the greatest there is, my skills are unrivaled!"

"Uh... I am rubber you are glue?"
No. 430595 ID: d6ae01
File 134186266059.png - (119.40KB , 700x600 , 75.png )


This will take some doing.
No. 430599 ID: c891d3

I, uh... you're going to have to throw this fight way harder than that.

You'll have to use made up words or something. It's the only way.
No. 430640 ID: f453e3

You could just whisper him the appropriate responses.

I'm sure he'll get the hang of it after a couple.
No. 430676 ID: 067a04

Embrace your inner masochist and start insulting yourself.

Either that, or just win the fight. Bo's got a thing for victims.
No. 430684 ID: cf49fc

Didn't you have self-esteem issues a while back? Try tapping into those.
No. 430716 ID: a2fa74

Go on the offensive, but exclusively use retorts.
No. 431071 ID: d6ae01
File 134197109892.png - (104.27KB , 700x600 , 76.png )

>Go on the offensive, but exclusively use retorts.
"I know you are, but what am I!" I say.

"Well yes! Like I said, I'm rubber and you're glue! Take... that!?"

Sweet precursors this guy is all peep and no peck. Maybe I shouldn't have kept him out of my party so long.

>Embrace your inner masochist and start insulting yourself. 
>Didn't you have self-esteem issues a while back? Try tapping into those.
Self-esteem issues? I'm a fucking pirate who eats metal. What's not to like?

But for Nilaka's sake I suppose I can pretend that in some far off alternate galaxy I was somehow a weak and vulnerable little girl who had body-image issues despite being so goddamn incredible.
No. 431073 ID: d6ae01
File 134197115438.png - (171.01KB , 700x600 , 77.png )

"Oh, I do hope you don't comment on my weight or something! I'm soooo sensitive about that!"

Nilaka grins. "Ah-ha! You're... super duper skinny! You skinny mc... skinny person!"

"Oh no! You have taken advantage of my glaring weakness and hit me for massive damage! To think I am bested by one as shiny and appealing to dragons as you! Abloo-bloo-bloo!"

"O-oh my...~" Boaga says.
No. 431075 ID: d6ae01
File 134197121812.png - (97.62KB , 700x600 , 78.png )

...And now I'm outside my room. I make a mental note to wash my sheets later.

"Captain, we've hit land!" Sue says.

"Excellent! Guess I'll pick a couple of people to join me and we'll get our explore on."
No. 431079 ID: c891d3

Well you obviously need to give Nilaka and Bo some time together, so...

How about giant dog guy and missing a hand chick? I think they give you a bonus if they're in the party at the same time.
No. 431140 ID: b85f8c

Idly ponder the whereabouts of Roz.

Also take swordhands and the shiny bug princess. She's back from her extremely silly interdimensional trip, right?
No. 431247 ID: 120d63

Take silent bladey hands and princess bug. I'm sure they'll get along fine like the horrifying bug monsters they both are. Okay maybe bladey hands isn't that much of a bug but I mean what the hell even is he anyway? Bug works for me!
No. 431248 ID: f453e3

Three Stripes and Spikesby.
No. 431249 ID: 953355

No. 431250 ID: 120d63

No. 431251 ID: 180ec2

I vote for this. All these people talking are getting on my nerves.
No. 431270 ID: cf49fc

No. 431311 ID: 6774f9

Oh my goodness, this is so delightfully silly. ^.V.^ Still voting for Saikhan.
No. 431316 ID: a370aa

venji, can you fly with all those points in BIRD?
No. 431332 ID: d6ae01
File 134205173222.png - (116.33KB , 700x600 , 79.png )

>Idly ponder the whereabouts of Roz. 
Whoops! In my rush to excuse myself I completely forgot about him and... Bitesby or whatever. I hope they didn't see anything embarrassing.

*Creak! Slam!*

"Peep peep peep peep peep!" Roz says, sounding very flustered.

Yeah, I... I'm sure he'll be fine.
No. 431333 ID: d6ae01
File 134205174715.png - (233.17KB , 700x600 , 80.png )

I grab-- oh, his name is Spikesby? I grab him and the dog. Given my goal of peaceful negotiation with the locals, this is obviously the best choice.

Haha who am I kidding we're going to loot the place dry.

Speaking of locals, there's some lizards pointing sticks at us! Maybe I should pretend to be intimidated so I don't hurt their feelings.

"Krassisir sylirr! Lisk! Lisk!"

"Okay, what the hell did that thing say?" I ask.

"Wak wak wak, wak wak. Wakkity wak wak."

No. 431334 ID: d6ae01
File 134205180451.png - (100.77KB , 700x600 , 81.png )


"Scared," Dog says. "You... intimidating."

He means himself, right? Maybe I can ask him to project a feeling to them? Kanela mentioned something about it only working on Neumono but screw that limitation.

Or I could ask Spikesby to wak at them.
No. 431336 ID: 09e5bf

Let Spikesby wak away at them.
No. 431337 ID: d6ae01

Roz is the closest to their size. Gracefully allow him to pretend to lead.
No. 431338 ID: c891d3

Hey, I have an idea.

Let's loot the lizards along with everything else.

Also sure let Three Stripes try to work some kind of emotionally calming magic.
No. 431339 ID: 180ec2

Wak wak wak wak wak. Try to also make Three Stripes make them more easily persuaded.
No. 431340 ID: 953355

Yeah lizards are always a good thing to keep in stock.
No. 431370 ID: 120d63

Wak diplomacy is go.
No. 431374 ID: 7c31d2

I gotta agree with looting the lizards, your stock has been running low for awhile now.
No. 431531 ID: 4bdd79

No. 431652 ID: d6ae01
File 134214007602.png - (206.21KB , 700x600 , 82.png )

>Spikesby dipwakmacy
"Wak wak wak wak!!!"
No. 431653 ID: d6ae01
File 134214008748.png - (134.43KB , 700x600 , 83.png )

No. 431654 ID: d6ae01
File 134214010241.gif - (90.19KB , 700x600 , 84.gif )

Lizards added to inventory!
No. 431655 ID: d6ae01
File 134214013512.png - (185.96KB , 700x600 , 85.png )

They lead us to an encampment with several more lizards. We have a difficult time communicating, what with me so wisely deciding to bring the only two people who can't talk, but apparently they've been terrorized by some kind of monster thing. They claim it's big and scary, and that it looks unnatural.

I hope that means it's metallic. I'm starving!

They offer what the dog claims is "something shiny" in exchange for help.

They also ask what's in my pockets.
No. 431656 ID: 886a4d

Tell them to come and see, Open the pouch slightly to entice them. We need more Lizards!
No. 431657 ID: ad164c

If they want to see what's in your pockets they're going to have to just look in them themselves.

Also sure let's go after a big unnatural thing.
No. 431659 ID: b85f8c

Didn't you just eat a sword? What a glutton.

Let's go beat up the big scary thing.
No. 431661 ID: 28f2a3

Soon this island will be empty and we will have a hold full of lizards. Do you eat meat too, or is it just metal for you? Just... Curious.
No. 431838 ID: d6ae01

Sigh, give them the magical ring of invisibility that you've had this whole time, and head up to deal with the dragon. Ask if anyone has any special arrows you can nibble on along the way.
No. 432112 ID: d6ae01
File 134222849743.png - (116.45KB , 700x600 , 86.png )

>Ask if anyone has any special arrows you can nibble on along the way.
They hand me an arrow that they claim always points towards the next objective. Nom!

"Dog-stripes, tell them if they want to know what's in my pockets, they'll just have to check themselves!"

"...Suspicious," Dog says.

"Tell them I'll give them my ring of invisibility if they trust me."

Spikesby and Dog raise an eyebrow at me.

"What? It's invisible. Hence the name."

Apparently that worked!
No. 432113 ID: d6ae01
File 134222851967.png - (196.32KB , 700x600 , 87.png )

Lizards added to inventory! Again!

Except I can't really move around like this. Guess I'll head back to the ship to--

"I'll carry those for you!" says a voice in my head.
No. 432114 ID: d6ae01
File 134222853774.png - (145.59KB , 700x600 , 88.png )

"Oh! Jiniki! Didn't know you came with us."

"Mister Dessen said I was needed here~"

How cute-- she has an imaginary friend!

"Thanks. Just drop those lizards off in the fish tank."

"Um but I think they breathe air..."

"Okay, fine. Put them in the air fish tank."


I give a tearful goodbye to my AWESOME PIRATE COAT. It's served me so well these past few months. My SLIGHTLY WORN PIRATE UNDERSHIRT will have to do for now.

>Didn't you just eat a sword? What a glutton. 
That was hours ago!

>Do you eat meat too, or is it just metal for you? Just... Curious.
I can eat meat, but it doesn't give me as much energy as metal does.
No. 432117 ID: d6ae01
File 134222866594.png - (85.75KB , 700x600 , 89.png )

I forgot to ask the lizards where the beast is, so we head inside the cave and okay that thing is huge.

"This is now my cave. The Master said the Slissa are unworthy of it. You can't have my cave or my treasure."

Ow my ears. Maybe fighting this thing is a bad idea-- DID IT SAY TREASURE.

"Leave now, or face a sweetness unrivaled by any. I can make your blood glucose forever cry out in pain after one single attack."

I better be careful. This is no ordinary dragon.
No. 432118 ID: d6ae01
File 134222868423.png - (150.64KB , 700x600 , 90.png )

It's a cotton-candy dragon!
No. 432119 ID: 120d63


Okay, find the fluffy. This is important. There's a few of these "the fluffy" things around but this one is a ball of fluff that excels in preying on food-based creatures.

No, that one has too pointy a head!

No, it's not Kirby, look harder!
No. 432120 ID: 132b99

engage rozonance and set your insulin stat to max.
No. 432121 ID: 953355

Roz: seduce pink dragon
No. 432122 ID: 7c31d2

Challenge it to a musical duel, wait until it starts playing rock music, then eat the metal dragon
No. 432123 ID: 28f2a3

Eat eat eat EAT wait. What gender is this dragon? ASK IT. Suggestively tell it it looks tasty~
No. 432181 ID: dc4a44

Sex it.
No. 432183 ID: 7acc27

salivate menacingly
No. 433067 ID: d6ae01
File 134239233974.png - (129.67KB , 700x600 , 91.png )

>engage rozonance and set your insulin stat to max.
I don't have an insulin stat, and even if I did I'd just put those points into BIRD.

>Suggestively tell it it looks tasty~
>salivate menacingly
I set DROOLING to max. "You look positively delicious! I want all of you inside me. And by that I mean my stomach."

"Please. Your heart would explode before you got three bites in."

The dragon doesn't know who it's talking to.
No. 433069 ID: d6ae01
File 134239238581.png - (67.59KB , 700x600 , 92.png )

"Peep peep!"

Whoops, I forgot Roz had a thing for giant fluffy pink things.

"Oh! What a sweet little bird."

>Roz: seduce pink dragon

"Such honeyed words~"

I don't know if I like where this is going.
No. 433071 ID: d6ae01
File 134239245139.png - (67.24KB , 700x600 , 93.png )

>Eat eat eat EAT wait. What gender is this dragon? ASK IT.
"Before we reach the inevitable delicious ending to our encounter, I'm inexplicably curious as to your sex."

"Harumph! Such a sour question I don't intend to answer!"

"Peep peep~"

"Oh~ Since you asked so sweetly, I'm peep peep peep~"

Well, that answers that...?
No. 433073 ID: 132b99

let roz stay here while you move on.
No. 433114 ID: ad164c

I think Roz has this one covered.
No. 433178 ID: 953355

Maybe break off a little bit for the road but Roz has this. Let's explore deeper.
No. 433492 ID: 120d63

Roz knows what's up. Leave the bird to it, and haul your own bird self onwards to adventure and possibly reward.

Wait. Who the hell is the Master? Demand an explanation or you take back the Roz.
No. 433510 ID: eaaf98

Don't worry, roz is your trustworthy OTP, but he does have his weaknesses, perhaps a heart to peep talk is in order?
No. 433860 ID: 8ecf90

This thing looks content to live here and enjoy its treasure unbothered. It probably isn't the thimg terrorizing the slissas. Ask it what is.

Also get jealous about Roz.
No. 433951 ID: d6ae01
File 134257102795.png - (141.13KB , 700x600 , 94.png )

>Wait. Who the hell is the Master? Demand an explanation or you take back the Roz.
"Who's this 'master'? Hey, are you listening? Don't make me take the bird back!"

"Huh? Oh right you. The master is a being not of flesh, and not of deliciousness. The master is... now second to my little sweety weety licorice cup~" It nozzles Roz.

"Peep peep~"

>Maybe break off a little bit for the road but Roz has this. Let's explore deeper.
I can already feel myself getting Hyperglycemic. I grab some of the dragon for later and leave Roz to... whatever he intends to do.
No. 433956 ID: d6ae01
File 134257120176.png - (68.49KB , 700x600 , 95.png )

We continue silently (As much as I'd love trying to decipher waks and barks). The cave gets pretty dark, but my tails let me navigate with relative ease.

Spikesby waks in surprise. "Stubbed your toe?" I ask.

"That one can detect magic, can he?" a voice says from the darkness.

"Probably," I reply. "He has to have some gimmick beyond waking at everything. So I take it you're a ghost or something?"

"Hmhmhm~ Look at you, running away from the truth with your feathers and verbose way of speaking. It's cute, really. The master commanded an end to this... abomination."

Me? Verbose? Hardly! I've more important things to do than ramble on about each thought I have and every action I so meticulously take on my ongoing journey to riches and delicious metals the likes of which the universe has never before--

"You're doing it right now. You're rambling in your head."

Shit! "You can hear my thoughts? Is my wifi on again?"

It grins. Of course not~ We just know you better than anyone else..."

It brings out a light.
No. 433957 ID: d6ae01
File 134257121546.png - (261.75KB , 700x600 , 96.png )

"...Because we're your evil twins!"

Huh. It's pretty obvious where she put her points.

Evilsby laughs. "Kaw kaw kaw... kaw, kaw kaw."


No. 433958 ID: d6ae01
File 134257124815.png - (60.71KB , 700x600 , 97.png )

"Kaw kaw!!!!"

No. 433959 ID: d6ae01
File 134257129617.gif - (91.16KB , 700x600 , 98.gif )

OH NO HE... di'int!?
No. 433960 ID: f453e3

Continue marveling at own ears.
No. 433962 ID: ad164c

Obviously you have to now engage in perfectly symmetrical, fruitless violence, causing us all to learn some sort of lesson about clones not being evil by birth.

... Wrong movie?
No. 433963 ID: 8ecf90

Flirt with her. Wow she has a silly outfit.
No. 433965 ID: 953355

Wait so do they have an evil Boaga because ahahhaaha



okay okay focuhahahahaha

That is very rude. You should put her in place with the superior power of bird and definitely don't end up in a protracted fight full of grabbing and posing and not-putting-in-place and gratuitous clothing damage.
No. 433966 ID: f97293

Jump her and start wrestling around in an epic and slightly sexy battle that may or may not result in clothes coming off.
No. 433967 ID: f453e3

Wait that's a point. Will you ever have an opportunity to hit on yourself again?

Encourage your party members to do the same.
No. 433970 ID: 120d63

Hit [on] evil duplicate yous.
No. 433980 ID: d6ae01

It's quite obvious that she put all her points into LANTERN. Prove how foolish it was to trust in metal by eating it in front of her.
No. 433990 ID: 34cbef

wait wait wait, these guys look toomuch like hipsters to fight. Asside from the bdsm queen there, tell the hipsters to bug off and shave their unsightly facial hair. If that does not work, find the evil twin of the author and kick him in his very hipster nads.
No. 434118 ID: 0c2247

"Wait, how do we know you're the evil one? I mean, I'm a pirate! Pirates are pretty evil!"

No. 434121 ID: 4bdd79

Seduce self, become god of narcissism.

This is a serious suggestion.
No. 434187 ID: f1814c

Seduce self. Only you know what gets you going as well as you.
No. 434189 ID: b2112e

Have all of the makeouts.
No. 434777 ID: d6ae01
File 134275193891.png - (200.24KB , 700x600 , 99.png )

I seem to have underestimated the extent of my narcissism.

>Wait so do they have an evil Boaga because ahahhaaha 
...I also hope to see this.
No. 434779 ID: d6ae01
File 134275201059.gif - (86.96KB , 700x600 , 100.gif )

"I hope you don't mind, my dear me," I say, "but I apparently intend to woo you. Allow me to rescue you from this foul beast! En garde, evil-dog!"

"Oh please," my evil twin scoffs, "don't tell me you intend to wave that feeble thing at him while shouting insults."
No. 434780 ID: d6ae01
File 134275204390.gif - (85.99KB , 700x600 , 101.gif )


Damnation! I'm way too clever for my own good!

"Seriously, who do you think you are?" She asks.
No. 434781 ID: d6ae01
File 134275207337.png - (85.53KB , 700x600 , 102.png )

I remove my hat and roll up my sleeves. There's no going back now.
No. 434782 ID: d6ae01
File 134275210084.png - (153.69KB , 700x600 , 103.png )

I sweep myself into my arms. I don't resist-- it's likely I didn't expect myself to be so forward.

"Madam, I am captain Venji. My crew and I travel the seas, in search of adventure and booty. We sail the most awesome-- if slightly weird-- vessel on this planet. We cannot be matched, even by ourselves. I am the best goddamn pirate in the universe and I want you... to be by my side. Who better to be with me than myself? I daresay none could fit that role as well as you!"

No. 434784 ID: d6ae01
File 134275216568.gif - (763.00KB , 700x600 , 104.gif )

What just--

"You are quite right, my dear, but I'd prefer it if you were my second."

Wait. If I'm Venji the Pirate, then my evil clone--

No. 434787 ID: 120d63

Wait. If that's not bird Venji, is she crammed with nanomachines? Does that make her a robot?

Does that make you the opposite of a robot? What would that be? Is bird the opposite of robot?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!!
No. 434789 ID: d6ae01

If she's a robot, then you can eat her. This logic is flawless.
No. 434790 ID: ad164c

Wow you were hiding all that under your hat? Wasn't that uncomfortable?
No. 434791 ID: bf54a8

bite her nose
No. 434793 ID: c92d94

Tear off her shirt only to reveal nanomachines underneath!
No. 434794 ID: 8ecf90

She isn't a very good ninja if she goes around all scantily clad trying to seduce people. Not stealthy at all. Way too eye-drawing being half naked like that. Ninjas get all their power from stealth.

>>434793 I bet she would be even less stealthy without any clothes on. People would see her from miles away. And then she will be powerless.
No. 434796 ID: 0c2247

Sweep her back into your arms
"Seconds? I was talking partners~"

Keep trading sweep-ie and sweep-er until you've pivoted around each other all the way to your cabin, then POMF her onto the bed.
CUE FADE TO BLACK! NEXT SCENE: Both Venjis wake up the next morning wearing each others shirts. They each try to make breakfast in bed for the other, resulting in them meeting back in Venji's bed and exchanging breakfasts.
No. 434804 ID: c7f8fb

So you're going to constantly fighting to stay on top in this relationship?

Excellent. It will keep you honed to the peak of your abilities, and keep things interesting.

Don't let any ninja-pirate prejudices cloud your mind. What's happening right now is too awesome to be derailed by such pettiness.

Commence furious makeout battle for supremacy.
No. 434824 ID: f453e3

Regain the upper hand by disrobing her. I guarantee this will work.
No. 434827 ID: b85f8c

Oh just stab her already.
No. 434845 ID: e50c0b

It's a known fact that a ninja robot clone's only weakness is getting honey stuck in their gears.

Try using that cotton candy that you obviously saved some of and melting it. Should work just as well.
No. 434888 ID: 2bd4c7

>>434824 As your mirror clone she is certainly going to do this to you too as soon as you think of it. Show no mercy in romance.
Roz is going to be so upset he missed this he'll start talking again.
No. 434897 ID: c6ec33

How about we take this discussion to someplace more... private?

No. 434907 ID: cf49fc

Offer it some cotton candy.
No. 434910 ID: 6e44d2

Oh boy, here we go. Sex battle for dominance.
No. 434932 ID: c7f8fb

Even better? Make it a fully functional seduction and supremacy battle system complete with meters.
No. 434934 ID: 8ecf90

Cotton candy dragon was anti-Roz wasn't it.
No. 434947 ID: 9c4b04

Oh yeah, baby! Take it all off!
No. 435134 ID: d6ae01
File 134291841147.png - (162.30KB , 700x600 , 105.png )

>If she's a robot, then you can eat her. This logic is flawless.
I dunno, the last time I tried to eat myself it really hurt.

>Wow you were hiding all that under your hat? Wasn't that uncomfortable?
No, but I probably have a horrible case of hat-hair (hat-feather?).

I'd let her preen my-- Focus!

"T-tell me," I force out, "I see now that you're a ninja, the scourge--"

>Don't let any ninja-pirate prejudices cloud your mind. What's happening right now is too awesome to be derailed by such pettiness. 
"The, um, honorable warriors that you are. But how do you hide yourself with such revealing clothing?"

She laughs darkly. "My dear, we ninjas are trained in sneak attacks. What better way to get that attack than to use the art of distraction? Their eyes remain locked on my curves as my knife pierces their backs."

"Ah. Kind of cliché, but I guess I can't argue that line of thought." It's not like a similar idea wasn't behind my awesomely distracting feathers.

Wait, that means she's about to--!
No. 435135 ID: d6ae01
File 134291844032.png - (169.99KB , 700x600 , 106.png )

I bite her nose and escape her grasp. In one swift motion I tear off her leotard, warm up the cotton candy, and lob it at her!

"Aha! Now you are exposed and powerless as your gears... will..."
No. 435136 ID: d6ae01
File 134291846755.png - (116.98KB , 700x600 , 107.png )

Rather than nanomachines, I have instead exposed the most exquisite rack I've ever laid eyes on. My gaze is drawn to her, following the lines of her body and getting lost in her curves. Every inch of her is perfection. The cotton candy was meant to send sparks flying, but not like this.

WHY AM I SO HOT!? Curse me for being the most attractive thing imaginable!

"I'm impressed," she says, "that you would be so bold. You even caught me off guard there."
No. 435137 ID: d6ae01
File 134291848312.png - (166.58KB , 700x600 , 108.png )

She catches me in her arms again. "I shouldn't expect anything less from myself. I can tell you'd be useful for honing my abilities on. We'd be a constant challenge for each other."

I do love a challenge...

She brings her lips within a centimeter of mine. My heart races. "We'll be rivals in a partnership. Undisputed equals, out for adventure and perhaps a little bit of treasure. And then, when the day is done..."
No. 435138 ID: d6ae01
File 134291852451.png - (214.50KB , 700x600 , 109.png )

"Well, we know more than anyone what pleasures us the most, now don't we?" she whispers softly into my ear.

>Oh just stab her already.
Yes. Right. Now would be...

>How about we take this discussion to someplace more... private? 
The perfect time to...

>Oh yeah, baby! Take it all off!
I could...

>Seduce self
I want...

>Sex battle for dominance.
>Commence furious makeout battle for supremacy.

"So what do you say~? Shall we become partners~?"
No. 435141 ID: f453e3

This is the best plan.
No. 435148 ID: 8ecf90

Now tear the cotton candy off in one swift motion! Teach her to be fuzzy and get cotton candy thrown at her!
No. 435149 ID: 120d63

No. 435151 ID: ad164c

Go for it, I guess?
No. 435152 ID: 719655

Or eat it off during the sexy makeouts. Don't want to waste good cotton candy.
No. 435154 ID: aff2bc

Take your clothes off and embrace yourself. And then... Ha! You've trapped her! She's stuck to you now!
No. 435155 ID: c7f8fb

Do it.

Dooooo iiiiiit.

Even if this is a trap? It's awesome enough to be worth it. And if you're awesome enough? This wouldn't be first time a Kunoichi's turned to side with her target due to the sheer awesomeness of the sex. C'mon Camptain Venji, Rance did it, so can you!

And the whole point of covering someone with something sticky and delicious is licking it off.
No. 435157 ID: fa9f7e

This, depending on how kinky you are.
No. 435158 ID: cee0ad

All the yes.
No. 435159 ID: 8ecf90

Ok changing my vote to sticky trap.

Failing that licking it off sounds like a plan.
No. 435160 ID: a3b384

Do not trust her, do not team up. This is war. Sexy war. Conquer her carnally.
No. 435162 ID: fa9f7e

Agreeing with this.

I'd call you a pervert, except for the fact that I'm just as guilty. Also, Rance is damn classy for an eroge.
No. 435163 ID: 0c2247

Doooooo iiiiiiit~

This, also!
No. 435168 ID: eef1ee

Tear your clothes off in dramatic fashion and trap her stickily in your arms. Then you are the one in control and can safely haul her off to your brig when this is over.
No. 435171 ID: fa9f7e

With your non-sword arm, mind. Keep the sword free.
No. 435173 ID: cf49fc

Ya know, if you wanted to, I dunno, help your friends battle their clones, you could yank that candyfloss REALLY HARD. Your species is covered in hair right? One ninja-clone, instantly defeated. Also depilated.
No. 435175 ID: c7f8fb

Pff. Your friends don't need help. The <foo>sbys started down the seduction path as well, and by now the two three stripes have made psychic contract and had their identical consciousness merge, making him three-stripes two-bodies.

I'm not even ashamed at all. It's good enough you could almost make the claim you were in it for the gameplay, or the hilarious character interactions / plot. Few non-perverted TBS / RPGs come close to being that much fun.

The naughty bits are just delicious icing cotton candy spread on top.
No. 435176 ID: fa9f7e

Neither am I, actually. Hell, I openly admit I play Corruption of Champions. I just said that jokingly as a stereotypical response, which I'll admit is hard to convey online without being a Large Ham.

And I *can* truthfully make the claim that I'm in it for the gameplay and plot, there's better porn/porn more specialized to my "tastes"/free porn online.
No. 435180 ID: e3aff6

>three-stripes two-bodies
one cup?
No. 435206 ID: eaaf98

Conquer her in bed
No. 435208 ID: b85f8c

No. 435209 ID: b26bd8

No. 435213 ID: 2a2f6b

What if she\'s not really you?...
No. 435214 ID: fa9f7e

Does it really matter?
No. 435216 ID: c7f8fb


You are into her.
She is you.
Therefore, by substitution, she is into you.
No. 435217 ID: fa9f7e

I think he means, "What if she's not really your evil twin?", not "What if she's not into you?"
No. 435322 ID: 006e1f

now is your chance to grab her and run
No. 435379 ID: c71597

Accepting is clearly the best answer at the moment. That way you can keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't sully your good name. And at the same time, damn she be hot and a partial shape shifter. This can only be heading in steamy hot directions.
No. 435633 ID: d6ae01

I don't wish to alarm you, but after that steamy embrace over a chest of hot sugar, you have become fused at the torso. You are partners now, no matter what you might actually want.
No. 435715 ID: d6ae01
File 134314533369.png - (161.15KB , 700x600 , 110.png )

>Sexy time!

Welp, I'm sold. I rip off my shirt and give my evil twin the best kiss she's ever had. Consequently, it ends up being the best kiss I've ever had. I feel her body against mine, warm and inviting. I make a mental note to describe this to Roz later in excruciating detail next time he misbehaves.

If this is a trap, it's a damn good one. Maybe I can...
No. 435716 ID: d6ae01
File 134314535874.png - (163.87KB , 700x600 , 111.png )

...Spring my own! "Aha! You thought to trap me with your wiles, but it is I who have trapped you! Now we're stuck together!"

She laughs. "Aren't you a sneaky little pirate? A level of cunning matched only by myself. Now that we're stuck like this, what were you intending to do~?"
No. 435717 ID: d6ae01
File 134314538103.png - (120.48KB , 700x600 , 112.png )

"Um... Bask in the glory of our... boob-squish?"
No. 435718 ID: d6ae01
File 134314540871.png - (140.53KB , 700x600 , 113.png )

"As much as I'd love spending all day attached to you," she pulls away effortlessly, "it seems candy is not a very good adhesive."

…! My hands!

"I'm impressed. Nobody's ever gotten off a sneak attack on me before, much less one that left me naked and covered in candy."
No. 435719 ID: d6ae01
File 134314542815.png - (166.95KB , 700x600 , 114.png )

"I'm so impressed, I think I'll take your clothes and your ship."

"What! How do you even know I have a ship!"

"You're a pirate."

Shit, she's right.

"Anyway. I'm going to go be you. Enjoy the company of your friends. Toodles~"
No. 435721 ID: d6ae01
File 134314545107.png - (115.71KB , 700x600 , 115.png )

A mind worthy of her body. A body worthy of me. I've never felt such desire. She's... fascinating.
No. 435722 ID: d6ae01
File 134314547212.png - (115.88KB , 700x600 , 116.png )

I'm going to kick her ass!
No. 435723 ID: ad164c

So... wait, did she actually do anything besides tie you up?

Surely as your evil twin she'd know she'd need to do more than that to stop you?
No. 435725 ID: d6ae01

I don't think you even know anyone who isn't pointy in some way or another, so escape's the easy part. Take a few minutes to recover, then consider gnawing on something for another few points of BIRD. It's time for a training montage.
No. 435726 ID: 196d1b

Darn it Venji. The guys there will protect your bote, right? ...Unless the slissas revolted and took over. Have spikesby cut his ropes and then ours and hope he doesn't cut through what's left of your clothes while you're at it. We need to defend the ship!

Wait... Venji wearing underwear? Are you SURE you're the real one? This is starting to get fishy.
No. 435727 ID: e7e90d

Yay for selfcest romance and rivalry! I don't care how big a disaster this courtship / conflict ends up being, or what collateral damage you cause, it's going to worth it. As it is, we've just earned ourselves an underwear clad retaking our own ship battle. That's fantastic.

So cut those ropes off using spikesby's easily accessible claws-blades, and get to it. Or yaknow, just snap them effortlessly. Or eat them. Tozol and all that jazz.

Love the pirate undies, by the way.
No. 435728 ID: a06b41

Next time you see her, be sure to joke about her being into bondage and offer to return the favor while kicking her around in battle!

Now either break those bonds with brute force so you can do awesome oneliner quips next you meet, or just beat her while still tied up. THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND.
No. 435729 ID: b85f8c

I knew it.

Hey, you didn't spend like, all your points on BIRD right? You're still strong enough to break out of those ropes, right? Or you could scoot over to Spikesby and use his sharp hands to cut your ropes then free everyone and give chase.

Or find the treasure in here first. I mean, it's not as if your evil twin is going to be able to take over the ship and sail off in your absence. Your shipmates aren't that stupid.
No. 435730 ID: 0c2247

She's clever, but she made a critical mistake!

A: Pirate captains are basically immune to being tied up as a result of starting almost every day before their captainhood tied up, hung over, and/or in bed with the captain's daughter. Pirates compete with each other to see who can make the most dramatic entrances and exits, and hold off on freeing themselves in order to build dramatic tension.
Since you're chasing your star-crossed true love who is also your arch-nemesis and rival the most dramatic way to do things would be to be behind them the entire way but constantly gaining. That means you can't waste time being tied up.
B: Three stripe's muzzle is too tapered to tie without a loop going around the back of his head, which they forgot.
C: Spikesby's blade hands can cut right through rope.
D: The boatface doesn't recognize nega-Venji as her captain, and will turn submarine if nega-Venji gets pushy.
E: If you were actually stuck here you couldn't have a pitched battle for supremacy on the high seas.
No. 435731 ID: 1246c4

Untie the ropes with your tails.Failing that just tell
swords-for-hands to bust you out.

You know, that is a good point. You are all bird and wear underwear and roz is a bird that can't talk and isn't attached. Other Venji seems much more you than you.
No. 435734 ID: a06b41

Ah, but those inconsistencies allow for amusing romantic hijinks. Is than not very Venji? The inconsistency for amusement as well.
No. 435735 ID: 68f2f2

rub against Spikesby and untie yourself. Then feel yourself up really good.
No. 435738 ID: e7e90d

Actually, you know, it kind of makes sense if her cunning plan is as poorly executed as your own.

It is imperative you get details from the others as to how they lost their mirror matches. I doubt it was awesome as yours, but it must have been funny, at least.
No. 435944 ID: 35037c

Hey just thought you should know, you're a tozol with ludicrous strength just break the ropes man. You also have claws. Come to think of it, Mr. Wak there has blades for hands.
No. 435955 ID: cf49fc

Use your super strength, or your super teeth, or Spikesby's super arms, or Three Stripes' super cuteness. The last one won't help you escape, but he is adorable.
No. 436051 ID: 196d1b

Psst spikesby when you cut her free make sure to make any extra cuts look like an accident
No. 436892 ID: d6ae01
File 134339797539.png - (93.11KB , 700x600 , 117.png )

>Spikesby pretty much renders this "puzzle" moot
"Spikesby, this just got awesome. Here, hold still a moment."

As I carefully cut my ropes on his blades, Spikesby waks me a story, possibly explaining why we all fell victim to our own wiles.

Or maybe he's telling a knock knock joke-- who knows! I've more awesome things to worry about!

>So... wait, did she actually do anything besides tie you up?  Surely as your evil twin she'd know she'd need to do more than that to stop you?
I get the feeling her aim wasn't to stop me, just to delay me long enough to steal me ship. Arr, never before have I fallen victim to such hornswoggle! That's right-- it's time to go pirate on her.

> The guys there will protect your bote, right?
Nobody's more loyal than my crew! Besides, there's no way my evil twin can pass for me. I mean, she didn't even put any points in bird!
No. 436893 ID: d6ae01
File 134339801667.png - (99.56KB , 700x600 , 118.png )

>You are all bird and wear underwear and roz is a bird that can't talk and isn't attached. Other Venji seems much more you than you.
Roz is very much attached to me! He peeps sadly whenever I get dressed without him. And if I didn't wear underwear, I'd be much less comfortable performing all my awesome pirate stunts. My evil twin is apparently the kind of ninja that doesn't actually do anything ninja-like. THE WORST KIND OF NINJA. That is why she is inferior.

>Hey just thought you should know, you're a tozol with ludicrous strength just break the ropes man.
I'm half Tozol... sort of. My strength is quite a bit less than the stories I've heard about real Tozols. Thankfully I rarely find myself having to take out entire armies alone, so I get by.

>Take a few minutes to recover, then consider gnawing on something for another few points of BIRD. It's time for a training montage.
Actually, I do have one point I've been saving for just such an emergency!
No. 436894 ID: d6ae01
File 134339803928.png - (22.28KB , 700x600 , 119.png )

Wonder where I should spend it?
No. 436895 ID: d6ae01
File 134339805809.png - (124.09KB , 700x600 , 120.png )

We rush back through the cave, and--

Roz you didn't.
No. 436896 ID: d6ae01

paused for 3 days for sharkstream charity event
No. 436897 ID: 1c8255

Ah, well at least they'll always be together.

Who are you to judge, anyways? You've got your own insane romance to get back to.
No. 436898 ID: b85f8c

It seems quite impossible for Roz to have eaten the entire dragon. He probably just had a taste.

Also he's not pink anymore. Think on that for a moment.
No. 436899 ID: ad164c

No. 436902 ID: 196d1b

He looks too full to fly. Or stay up on your shoulder. Or walk. And your evil clone took all your pockets unless you're hiding one in your underwear. Have Spikesby carry him in HIS pocket and see how he likes being eaten. Also, after much careful thought, I think you should spend that point on bird.
No. 436942 ID: d10f72

Wow Roz... Just... Wow... Okay let's scoop him up and sprint to the ship!
No. 436961 ID: 6a1ec2

Spend the point on tits.
No. 436967 ID: d6ae01

So Roz just ate like fifty times either of your mass in sugar. Better pull up HIS skill tree and prepare to gain six dozen levels at once. And/or prepare for diabetic shock.
No. 436975 ID: b33427

Erm... If Roz did do what you think he did, he just managed to cram the entire mass of a cotton candy dragon into a space a thousand times smaller than its original volume. He's either going to compress it into the world's first cotton candy diamond, explode in a shower of pink goo and feathers at the slightest bump, or get sick and puke with enough force to blow a hole through the mountain. So it's probably a good idea to not try and pick him up right now. You probably couldn't, since he weighs as much as a cotton candy dragon right now.

Oh, and put that last point into BIRD and end up transforming into rule 63 Roz-bird.
No. 438120 ID: d6ae01
File 134385339062.png - (140.48KB , 700x600 , 121.png )

>So Roz just ate like fifty times either of your mass in sugar. Better pull up HIS skill tree and prepare to gain six dozen levels at once.
He doesn't have a skill tree, but I bet he's gained enough energy for a certain special ability that'll probably come up in really dramatic moment I'm bound to have later.

>Obtain Roz
"Wow, Roz. Just... wow. What the hell'd you do with him... or her...?"


"'Peep' is a gender now? Whatever-- did you really eat an entire candy dragon?"

"Peep peep!"

"What! I can't believe peep let you peep peep like that!"


>Also he's not pink anymore. Think on that for a moment.
"Kind of a shame you ate and nothing else that dragon. Might have made a useful addition to our crew."


"It's okay, Roz. The terrible candy puns will be forever in our hearts."


"Oh! Right yes the ship we should go handle that."
No. 438121 ID: d6ae01
File 134385342321.png - (110.73KB , 700x600 , 122.png )

We sprint to the ship, only to find it setting sail.

"Hope... lost?"

"We're not screwed just yet. You two wait here. I'm going to get my ship back."
No. 438122 ID: d6ae01
File 134385346180.png - (124.92KB , 700x600 , 123.png )

Shit yes we're spending this on bird. With any luck, I should gain the power of flight.
No. 438123 ID: d6ae01
File 134385348802.png - (65.40KB , 716x555 , 124.png )

"...It's when they're entranced by your inexplicable nudity that they are most vulnerable to your wiles. If you play it right, you can have them right under your fingers."

"So... I can make perverts do anything I want?"

"That's the idea! Remember, you have to feel confident. You're in charge, and they know it. And if they get it in their head to have their way with you, you stab them with your blade."

"Wow... This is the first time you've been nice to me. You seem so... different."

"I've done some... let's say soul searching. So what do you think of joining me on the next away mission?"

"Really!? You want me along for once!?"

"Of course, Wyvernbreasts. You're a valued member of my crew."
No. 438124 ID: d6ae01
File 134385353053.png - (108.09KB , 700x600 , 125.png )


"You!? How!? What... What the hell are you!?"

"I'm Captain-fucking-Venji."
No. 438125 ID: d6ae01
File 134385355589.png - (216.01KB , 700x600 , 126.png )

"And you're trespassing on my ship."
No. 438127 ID: d6ae01
File 134385358541.png - (84.26KB , 700x600 , 127.png )

"...Should I get naked now?"

"No. Timing, Wyvernbreasts. Timing."

Who the hell is that?
No. 438129 ID: ad164c

Well Ijnev there looks like she might actually have had some substance to her claims of disguise abilities.

Also I'm pretty sure that's dragonwhoever from the beginning of the thread. You can still see the OP no matter how long it gets, you know!
No. 438132 ID: 196d1b

Swoop down and pick her up with your talons, then carry her up into the air!
No. 438146 ID: 180ec2

>"...Should I get naked now?"
Which one of you said that? Because if you're asking us I think you could have anticipated the response. Anyway, you're full-bird now, I think grabbing and lifting her while she's surprised is your best option. She can't escape your grip or knock you down, because not even a ninja can fall a few hundred feet without injury, even if there's water below. There would have to be some pretty involved shenanigans if she wanted to get out of that.
No. 438151 ID: c1a7db

>"...Should I get naked now?"
Sorry dragontits, I'm kind of distracted by my sexy doppelganger. You can only use that on interested people.

Eagle strike time! Swoop down, knock her off the boat, and begin the wet t-shirt contest.
No. 438169 ID: 0c2247

"Don't be fooled by her charm and good looks! She's no pirate; she's a ninja!

Come on Nega-Venji, stop with these ineffectual ploys and distractions!
We both know how this is going to end! In bed!"
No. 438171 ID: b85f8c

Are you forgetting your crew members now? That's obviously dragontits.

Call your loyal crewmates to battle and keelhaul the bitch. You've always had feathers on your arms, so all you have to do to prove you're the real deal is have your evil twin roll up her sleeves.
No. 438223 ID: a3b384

No. 438300 ID: 6a713d

"No, this is when you get tangled in your clothes while you're TRYING to get naked."
No. 438849 ID: d6ae01
File 134401060424.png - (117.50KB , 700x600 , 128.png )

"How come there's two of you?" the dragon with tits-- oh! Dragontits asks.

"No really, don't-- okay look now you're all tangled up. She's clearly an imposter."

"That would explain all the feathers and stuff."

"No it wouldn't!" I shout.
No. 438850 ID: d6ae01
File 134401063859.png - (116.96KB , 700x600 , 129.png )

First she ties up Dragontits, and then she claims to be the real me when she doesn't have a single point in bird?! THIS SHALL NOT STAND.

"Squawk!!! I mean. Take this!!!"
No. 438851 ID: d6ae01
File 134401066056.png - (90.30KB , 700x600 , 130.png )

I begin to think ninjas are faster than pirates.

No. 438852 ID: d6ae01
File 134401068655.png - (155.92KB , 700x600 , 131.png )

"You okay, there?" the speedy jerk asks.

"I'M *cough* FINE. Though I see the flaw in choosing a *cough* strapless."
No. 438853 ID: d6ae01
File 134401071062.png - (72.11KB , 700x600 , 132.png )

>Call your loyal crewmates to battle and keelhaul the bitch.
"It's time for emergency action! Just wait right there for like 15 minutes!"

"You want me to wait here while you go inside and get everything you need to take me out."



"What, really? Thanks!"
No. 438854 ID: d6ae01
File 134401076580.png - (66.32KB , 700x600 , 133.png )

"No I was being-- hey! You forgot your narrative!"

She didn't hear me did she.


I don't suppose I can convince you to talk her into giving up?
No. 438855 ID: 99090a

No. 438858 ID: 32e092

On a totally unrelated note, you should definitely give up. It's for the best.
No. 438860 ID: 6a8f04

do you have a Boaga of your own?
No. 438862 ID: c1a7db

>I don't suppose I can convince you to talk her into giving up?

What, and miss the hilarity of attempted simultaneous selfcest romancing and mirror match combat? This is entirely too amusing and awesome to pass up.

Besides, why would you want her to give up? That'd take all the fun out of this.

Hey, while we're hanging with you, want to share your perspective? What's your goal here, your story. All we've got to work with is zany assumptions and guesswork from Venji's side.
No. 438864 ID: 180ec2

Ok, first of all, explain to her that many starfish consume their prey by latching on to them and then reversing their stomach out through their mouth to begin digesting the flesh of their victim. This will probably buy you some time.

Help untie whoserface over there to convince her you're the real one.

To further start convincing people that you're the real Venji, er, can you do any of those weird point shifting things and put points into your milk stat? I'm sure that would convince them. Our Venji put all her points in bird and probably doesn't intend to take any out.
No. 438865 ID: b85f8c

Okay so, you, the evil twin ninja of a pirate, to be in charge of her ship and crew.

Are you CRAZY!? You won't last a week before a mutiny. It's not like you even know anything about sailing. It's for your own good that she takes it back from you.

Besides, you left Spikesby and Three Stripes back on land.
No. 438871 ID: 180ec2

If you want to convince her to give up you will have to get the ship on your side. It's a giant head, see? Go and free Dragontits and have her help you get down to the front of the ship. You need to tell it that there is an imposter of you around that looks like you except is a bird and running around wearing starfish instead of clothes. If you have the hat wear that too. Make the disguise the best you can. If the ship is loyal to you, she has to give up. Can't be a pirate without a ship. Also try to get the ship to sail away from shore. She left those guys who saw you on the island, and you need to keep it that way so they can't let the truth out.
No. 438872 ID: 5c088f

Yeah, just go and recruit 51% of the crew for accidental mutiny. If you have more than half she has to give in!
No. 438874 ID: 997ce7

Good idea, guys. Hope she doesn't figure out we're lying our asses off to get her to fail miserably and fall victim to selfcest seduction.

Wait, I forgot to put that in spoilers, didn't I?

No. 438881 ID: 86cadd

Did you bring those two guys who were with you earlier? They can replace the two Venji left on shore and vouch for your identity. And help that poor dragon out of those, she's just pitiful.
No. 438953 ID: 6a1ec2


Considering she's Captain Venji's exact opposite, she probably knows a lot about sailing...

You'll never be a Captain though! You're doomed!
No. 439180 ID: ca06ba

Oh, by the way, thanks for pulling Venji's feathery ass out of the drink. If you'd left her to drown, that would have put something of a damper on the story.

Remember when she comes back to throw that in her face. If this were a fight to the death, you'd have already won- you were just magnanimous enough to spare her. Heck, by some metrics, that means you own her ass now. (...not that you didn't sort of already, having the same ass and all).
No. 440161 ID: d6ae01
File 134435768179.png - (123.83KB , 700x600 , 134.png )

>Help untie whoserface over there to convince her you're the real one. 
>help that poor dragon out of those, she's just pitiful.
Poor Wyvernbreasts. The master didn't even find her worth cloning.

>do you have a Boaga of your own?
Yes, but she's nothing like this one. She's a headstrong, commanding bitch and this one... isn't. Hell, if I didn't know better I'd say this Boaga isn't even female.

> you left Spikesby and Three Stripes back on land.
Unlike certain other versions of myself, I actually remembered to bring them aboard with me.

>Oh, by the way, thanks for pulling Venji's feathery ass out of the drink. If you'd left her to drown, that would have put something of a damper on the story.
Yes, well... it didn't seem right to let her drown.
No. 440162 ID: d6ae01
File 134435770088.png - (101.64KB , 700x600 , 135.png )

"There, that should, well, hold you long enough to get some real clothes."

"Real clothes...?"

"You know, something other than bandages."

"I don't understand."

>You won't last a week before a mutiny.
Please. I'd run this ship so much better than that so-called 'pirate' has.

You know I was toying with her, right? To get what I want?

Still, it's kind of cute how excited she is about everything. She's nothing if not spunky.

I don't really have a 'story'. The master made me as an obstacle to that harpy, nothing more. And yet... here I am, going outside my boundaries and stealing a ship. Strange...
No. 440163 ID: d6ae01
File 134435774310.png - (260.65KB , 700x600 , 136.png )

"FEAR, MY IMPOSTER, FOR I RETURN. NOW I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU DOWN AND ...HOLD YOU TENDERLY? Man I have some really conflicting emotions right now. By the way did you see my narrative? I seem to have misplaced it."

I run my hands through my hair. "It's pretty obvious who the 'imposter' is here. I would never lose something so important."

"A-actually, losing the plot sounds exactly like something s-she would do..."

"I wasn't aware she found it after last time," Sue says.

"YES WELL AS YOU CAN SEE I AM THE REAL CAPTAIN," chirps captain-stupid-Venji.

I shrug. "Fine, whatever. You caught me. Here, have your silly narrative."

It's not like it's going to do her any good now. Hmhmhmhmhm~
No. 440164 ID: d6ae01
File 134435779409.png - (129.15KB , 700x600 , 137.png )


Sue walks towards Ijnev. "That being said, I think I like this 'new' Venji better. She actually cares about us. She treats us with respect."

Jiniki steps forward. "She gave me candy!"

Evil Spikesby grins maliciously while simultaneously looking incredibly sad. "Kaw Kaw~"

"We... Legit," the LIAR says, moving forward.

"D-don't worry. W-we're with you, captain," Boaga says, filling me with... let's say confidence.

Nilaka takes Boaga's claw. "Thanks to you, Boaga and I discovered each other. We had a great time, a date truly befitting a hero like myself! I'm sure Ashela would support you too, were she not napping."

"S-she kept talking in her sleep. Something a-about a robotic ninja clone capturing her a-and refusing to let her go until the next adventure."

"Better than the time she dreamt of crying for 30 images."

"This situation is quite addled," Kanela says, "but as loose in stays as this vessel is, I did swear my loyalty to you. I'm with ye, captain."
No. 440165 ID: d6ae01
File 134435785174.png - (129.70KB , 700x600 , 138.png )

"Okay," My twin says,"I was kind of hoping it'd be more one-sided. Still, behold as half your crew betrays you! What kind of 'captain' can't even keep her crew happy!?"

How exciting! My crew's hearts are torn, my evil twin is confident in her victory. This is a crucial moment, and what I say or do could affect at least the next two updates.
No. 440167 ID: 997ce7

Eh, she isn't interested in selfcest.

Murder her.
No. 440168 ID: ad164c

Wow, I would have thought Jiniki would have more loyalty. Her mother would be so disappointed.

I must observe that it doesn't really count as "half your crew" when two of them were Ijnev's associates to begin with.

Anyway I think it's high time for some sort of completely preposterous fight scene.
No. 440170 ID: 196d1b

The Boatface is still on your side, right? Can you tell it to dip its nose down towards the water? They'll be all off balance while you'll be able to catch them off guard. And if you trip and fall you'll at least land on them.
No. 440171 ID: d6c330

Pfff. She claims she isn't interested. But she admits she's already grown and adapted past her basic purpose. All it's gonna take is some more growth, a little persistence and persuasion, maybe an epiphany or two. I mean, surely we can pull off that level of zaniness in a few updates!

>half your crew is disloyal
Technically, it doesn't matter if you successfully recruit Ijnev, since they'd come with her.

>high time for some sort of completely preposterous fight scene
Yes, please. If things go south, and your loyalists actually lose? Have the ship start doing barrel rolls.
No. 440174 ID: 417db5

Grip Roz tightly and point him at them. Announce that he has just eaten mythical amounts of candy and is internally unstable and under massive pressure. If you squeeze him, who knows what might happen? He could put a hole right through them. He could put a hole right through you. He could simply explode and take the whole ship with him. Or, worse yet, he could coat everyone in so much cotton candy that their clothes will be completely ruined and their hair will be sticky for weeks to come. Surrender, or you will squeeze. What will happen next, god only knows.
No. 440176 ID: 0c2247

There's a suboat over there.
Tell everybody you should put your differences aside while everybody looks at the strange thing in the background.

You're each half of a good captain, so clearly Ijnev should be your co-captain.
No. 440177 ID: 196d1b

Did we actually leave someone to man it? If so we can probably get them to help, and if not, WHY?
...You think it can still fly?
No. 440200 ID: b85f8c

Hey, there IS that other boat. If she's so intent on being "captain", why don't you let her have the other boat?

Tell her she can keep the evil twins and the two traitors. Meanwhile we will go retrieve the real Three Strips and Spikesby that she left on land. We wouldn't really mind an alliance but a rivalry would be pretty cool! What better foe than yourself, after all?
No. 441451 ID: d6ae01
File 134463814889.png - (122.15KB , 700x600 , 139.png )

>Wow, I would have thought Jiniki would have more loyalty. Her mother would be so disappointed. 
Well, Ijnev did offer her ice cream.

Wait a minute.

"Jiniki, I give you ice cream all the time!" I shout.

"Oh yeah that's right~" she says while coming back to my side.

"Hmph. No matter. I have Wyvernbreasts on my side. The odds are in my favor."

"...Are they?" I ask. "Dragontits, are you even aware of what's going on?"

"Of course I do! I'm not dumb!" she insists.

Wait-- she's not!? This is the most shocking thing I've witnessed all day! And that's including a cotton-candy dragon and a sexy clone of myself!

"You're a bad mean clone or something," she continues, "and this must be the real one 'cause she's nice and teaches me things!"

"That's exactly why she's a fake!"
No. 441452 ID: d6ae01
File 134463817901.png - (119.93KB , 700x600 , 140.png )

"What now, evil twin? If not for your cheating I'd have nearly the whole crew on my side."

"How am I cheating."

"Spikesby and the dog! They're evil twins like you!"

"Kaw Kaw Kaw!"

"Seems legit to me," Kanela says.

"The POINT," I say, "Is that there's really no way for you to win now, and you clearly want a piece of this. Come on, just admit you want me so we can join forces and bask in the glory of us."

"This again? You obviously have it backwards."

"Do I?" I ask, extending my feathers in all their might.

"We don't all share your bird fetish," she says.

"Peep peep peep!" Roz always gets excited when people call me on that for some reason.
No. 441453 ID: d6ae01
File 134463820374.png - (61.78KB , 700x600 , 141.png )

Oh, it's the ship from earlier. Or rather, the cardboard cutout of a ship with a smaller ship inside.

>...You think it can still fly?
It's cardboard. The boat inside it is a typical sea-faring one.

"Well, why don't you take your traitorous dogs and get on that ship? You could sail around and hit on stuff."

"My own ship and my own crew. huh?" She stares at it, almost longingly. "...No. I was made to stop you, not run off and have adventures."

"Stop me? From what? If it's about the cave then I really don't... care about it. I can just find a new place for the lizards to live or something."

"It's not about the cave! I have to put an end to you! Stop... stop confusing me!"
No. 441454 ID: d6ae01
File 134463822647.png - (131.80KB , 700x600 , 142.png )

"If you insist. But I can't let you take my ship from me. The S.S. Sergal and I go way back. There's nobody else she'd rather sail for. If you won't leave peacefully, then I have no choice."

I grab onto Roz. "This little guy (probably) ate an entire dragon made of candy. One little squeeze and... who knows what might happen? He could put a hole right through you. He could explode and take us all out with him. Surrender, or we'll both find out."

"By the master! With that much sugar..."

"That's right. Roz is about to go on one hell of a sugar high and I suggest you--"
No. 441455 ID: d6ae01
File 134463825122.png - (246.63KB , 700x600 , 143.png )

"Oh darn I was hoping that'd hold out longer."


Oh god he's relapsing! "Roz! No!"
No. 441456 ID: d6ae01
File 134463827181.png - (106.28KB , 700x600 , 144.png )

"Peep peep peep peep peep peeeep~"

"Hmhmhm~ Looks like your little bird isn't as loyal as you thought."

A captain, betrayed by her trusty bird?

It... it can't be.
No. 441459 ID: b85f8c

You have boobs too, you know. Show him.
No. 441466 ID: 180ec2

Oh no! Wait since when can he talk? He really is relapsing!

Well, I'm out of ideas. Break down and cry. Maybe you can win them over that way?
No. 441468 ID: 0c2247

"Wait, If you have the pirate crew and pirate bird does that mean you are Pirate Captain Venji? So shouldn't you be stopping yourself?

Or maybe we should stop playing around. C'mon, it's time for us to go a few rounds. In bed."
No. 441470 ID: 997ce7

Also, remind Roz of when you managed to get his Boaga/Nilaka fanfic to come true.
No. 441494 ID: d6c330

Dive for your double, go for the breast grope attack. The extra pressure on Roz should set off the cotton candy super-explosion.

...and she'll be slightly close to the epicenter than you. Trust me, it'll be worth it.
No. 441532 ID: a37243

Quick! Remind Roz that he's a pirate by singing A Pirate's Life for Me! You did put some points into bard, didn't you?
No. 442333 ID: ad164c

Obviously she spelled it wrong when she tried.
No. 442528 ID: d6ae01
File 134489686679.png - (104.80KB , 700x600 , 145.png )

>You have boobs too, you know. Show him.
"I have those too, you know! Feast your eyes upon-- why are you giving me that look!"

My evil twin who I'm officially dubbing Ijnev (it is now canon) offers a low laugh. "Miss Mosquito called to ask how your bites are doing."

"Grr... goodone Ahem! Well, Roz, if you come back over here I'll let you... touch one?!"

"Peep peep peep."

"Okay yeah I was lying last time I said that. But I might be telling the truth this time! No guarantees!"

Roz puffs up and buries deeper. How could my incredible diplomacy have failed me at a crucial time!
No. 442529 ID: d6ae01
File 134489689274.png - (106.71KB , 700x600 , 146.png )

"Well, you have the outfit, half the crew, and the bird. Sniff... Guess you're Captain now."

"Finally giving up, eh?"

"Yep. I'm completely heartbroken. Someone get me a keyboard so I can spam A, B, L, and O."

"Now now, no need to cry about this on the internet. The master made me too well, is all."

"To think that I would lose to one such as you! How could one as awesome as I have fallen for your tricks? The great Ex-captain Venji, outdone... by herself!"

"What can I say? I did a better job minmaxing my stats than you. Seriously, all points into bird?"

"Yes, well. Since you've beaten me and are now the true Captain Venji... what do you plan on doing?"

No. 442530 ID: d6ae01
File 134489691310.png - (67.26KB , 700x600 , 147.png )

"You did what you were made for. What now?" I ask.

"I'll take your ship! And then I'll..."

"You'll what? Dear me, you have no purpose in life now, do you?"

"No, I-- it's not-- Shut up! Just-- just let me think!"
No. 442531 ID: d6ae01
File 134489693880.png - (148.26KB , 700x600 , 148.png )

I leap at her! The 'expert ninja' is too busy having an existential crisis to avoid me.

"What are you--"



*squish* "Now."
No. 442532 ID: d6ae01
File 134489695352.png - (154.22KB , 700x600 , 149.png )

No. 442533 ID: d6ae01
File 134489699457.png - (243.31KB , 700x600 , 150.png )

Cough... I underestimated how much pent up energy Roz had. He looks pretty happy now, though.

I guess this means I win! Hurray!

Now what?
No. 442534 ID: b85f8c

Interrogate her and find out who this "master" is so you can PUNISH HIM. Also inform her that she has failed in her life's purpose. She should get a new one.
No. 442535 ID: fa9f7e

Chain up your recalcitrant drew and ravish that wench.
No. 442537 ID: d6c330

Heroically sweep your injured double up in your mightily arms wings, and wake her with a kiss. Use your awesome pirate powers to make the wench swoon.

...if that fails, tuck her into bed, and the tuck into the treacherous members of your crew.

And have someone fish Jiniki out of the ocean, I guess.
No. 442538 ID: 196d1b

Tie the imposters up and put tight mittens on Ybsekips so he doesn't cut his way through. Gotta learn from your copy's mistakes. And take your pirate outfit back. Wait! Someone went overboard!
No. 442539 ID: 798b5b

Am I the only one who caught that?
No. 443677 ID: d6ae01
File 134508825322.png - (85.11KB , 700x600 , 151.png )

>Interrogate her and find out who this "master" is so you can PUNISH HIM.
She's out cold. Or should I say "out hot"? Hehehe...heheh... hem.

Half my crew can't swim, so I better not waste time! *Hup*
No. 443679 ID: d6ae01
File 134508827163.png - (260.29KB , 700x600 , 152.png )

"*Cough hack spff spff!* C-captain...?"

"You'll be all right. just hang on to me."

"You... you saved my life!"

"Of course. A captain always looks after her crew," I say, as slick as possible.

She stares at me, her eyes glowing with a completely understandable level of admiration.
No. 443680 ID: d6ae01
File 134508829896.png - (110.08KB , 700x600 , 153.png )

I get Dragontits a blanket, and make sure the rest of my crew is okay. I tie up Ijnev, Evilsby, and Mean-stripes (these names are also canon), making sure they can't free themselves as easily as we did. I begin to take my outfit back from her, but it seems she's not wearing anything underneath. What nerve! Oh well, I suppose I can let my twin retain some dignity.

Lightly slapping her face yields no results, so I decide to awaken her with one of my world-shattering kisses.

Obviously, it works.
No. 443681 ID: d6ae01
File 134508831892.png - (154.73KB , 700x600 , 154.png )

"Taking advantage of me, are you?" she asks as she comes to.

"Of course not. That was your punishment, and reward, for outwitting me and taking my ship."

"I'm the one who was bested in the end, though."

"Well obviously, but you had me for like, a second. Two. Two seconds."

"Anyway, who is this 'master'? He needs to pay for thinking he could clone perfection!"

She laughs a bitter laugh. "You think you can best her?"

Of course the master's female. Wait, wouldn't that be "mistress"?

"She's no mere peon like yourself. The master is a great demonic serpent, capable of melting your heart and making you slave to your very desires. She'd have you eating out of her hand before you can even blink."

Sounds fun. Now then, I should probably figure out what I'm doing next.
No. 443685 ID: ad164c

You should probably rescue the crew members that you left on the island. No doubt they've been captured by the, uh, Mistress by now.
No. 443688 ID: 180ec2

A demonic serpent, eh? Something tells me we should bring Roz along. Maybe Jiniki too. And perhaps, er, Dragontits. She needs some more experience. Also, yes, let's go rescue our crewmates.
No. 443689 ID: d6c330

>"You think you can best her?"
Why don't we make it a bet? If I best your master, you join my crew? And if your master defeats me, you get my ship after all. And you can do what you wish with me, assuming my defeat isn't fatal.

If your confidence in her isn't misplaced, you've got nothing to lose. *Grin* What do you say?
No. 443692 ID: 886a4d

Scalene? Her master is Scalene? I wouldn't call her evil... just easily perverted.
No. 443711 ID: b33427

Hey, didn't Roz deliver a bunch of tiny native lizard people to your ship? The ones that asked for your help in the first place? Perhaps you could get more details out of them about who and what this "Master" is, now that you have access to crew that can actually talk to them and you. Can Jiniki's telepathic voice be understood by them, even if she doesn't actually speak their language? 'Cause that would help a lot right now.
No. 444760 ID: d6ae01
File 134532754880.png - (154.28KB , 700x600 , 155.png )

"How about a friendly wager? If I am victorious against your 'master', you join my crew. Should I fail, you can have my ship and my mates. If she's as powerful as you claim, you've got nothing to lose, hmm~?"

She glares at me. "Your ship would do me no good then. With you gone, the master would see no more use for me. She would undo the spell that created me and I would cease to exist."

"I'm assuming killing her would also make you vanish."

"I'm technically self-sustaining, but... I don't know."
No. 444762 ID: d6ae01
File 134532757343.png - (140.79KB , 700x600 , 156.png )

"Maybe these guys know something. Try using your brain magic to talk to them."

"Aww, they're so cute!"

"Don't fall into their trap! They use their adorability to entrance you and make you do what they want!"

"T-they do!?"

"How do you think they charmed their way into my pockets? Anyway, ask them about this 'master'. Any obvious flashing weaknesses I can exploit?"

"Oh jeez. Um...."

The lizards make some distressed noises and grasp their heads.

"I don't think they understand me, miss captain!"

"You can't just... mind magic the language out of them?"

"We'd have to be thinking in the same language unless this changes for the sequel but even if it does that would be like a whole other universe and I bet there's not even any ice cream there it sounds really scary--"

"Right. Get my pole. I'm going to go catch some babel fish."
No. 444763 ID: d6ae01
File 134532761138.png - (130.20KB , 700x600 , 157.png )

"Man. Nothing's biting today."

"Uh, captain? It's been an hour. Shouldn't you be rescuing our crewmates?"

"Whoops! I mean-- this was part of my plan! And now that part is done so let's just go get them and not speak of this again."

"Uh huh."
No. 444765 ID: d6ae01
File 134532771065.png - (94.81KB , 700x600 , 158.png )

I bring along Jiniki and Dragontits, leaving the rest of the crew to watch over Ijnev. They pinkie-swore not to turn on me so I'm pretty confident abou--oh barnacles.
"Wak! Wak wak!"

Whatever has the (real) dog in a trance doesn't seem to be affecting Spikesby. He sounds like he's trying to... warn me?
No. 444766 ID: d6ae01
File 134532776348.png - (107.70KB , 700x600 , 159.png )

"Ssso we meet at lassst, little pirate."
No. 444770 ID: e890e7

You're fucked! Get out of there before that becomes literal instead of metaphorical!

We'll be needing a lot more than just you and Ms. Dragon Features here! Crew members with minimal to no sex drive are key here and for gods' sakes tie your hands to the mast!

Wait no. I'm thinking of the wrong scenario. Not that last part.
No. 444771 ID: ad164c

Ask her to turn on the lights.
No. 444772 ID: 6a1ec2

Those pretty eyes look just like jewels.
No. 444778 ID: bf54a8

invert your sex drive. make killing be sexually gratifying.
No. 444783 ID: b85f8c

Retreat! Collect everyone that is either gay or asexual like Spikesby here. Then come back and command your troops from a distance.
No. 444799 ID: d6c330

'Sup, snaketits. Thanks for the sexy doppelganger, she's fun.

You should probably ask her what her problem with you is, though. Why'd she send people out to defeat you?

Okay, assuming the master her does have some kind of lust or seduction based powers, you should be fine if you block them out with your own. Fill your thoughts with Ijnev, so you can't be seduced by her wiles.
No. 444811 ID: d6ae01

Begin hacking wildly at the coils. She did not ask permission to come aboard!
No. 444949 ID: ec0bf5

Introduce her to Roz. See if they recognize each other.
No. 445223 ID: 798b5b

Attempt Rozcest cascade.
No. 445261 ID: ec0bf5

No. 447647 ID: d6ae01
File 134594531937.png - (65.42KB , 700x600 , 160.png )

It's night time, but I can pretend it's not. Man! Look at all this visible light!

"Oh hi there. Thanks for the sexy twin, it's everything I could have hoped for. By the way, what's your problem with me? I don't think we established that crucial plot point."

"You tressspassed on my isssland, and sssought to kill me."

"It's not even your island! The lizards had it first!"

"They hit me with sssticks. That'sss the universssal sssign for 'pleassse take my isssland'"

"Really? I'd own so much property right now if I'd known that. Anyway, I was only kind of considering killing you and taking all your stuff."

"...Yeah. Sso I created cloness to sstop you. But ssince you're here, maybe you can be of usse to..."
No. 447648 ID: d6ae01
File 134594535488.png - (133.47KB , 700x600 , 161.png )

"hey wait how come i look terrible now"

"Yeah, you only get one high detail image per adventure. You used yours up already."

"That'sss not fair! How can I ussse the power of ssseduction like thisss?"

"Them's the breaks. Also, could you stop elongating your S's? That's kind of obnoxious."

"But I'm a sss--"

No. 447649 ID: d6ae01
File 134594537655.png - (185.97KB , 700x600 , 162.png )

>Introduce her to Roz. See if they recognize each other.
"Say, do you recognize this guy?"

I hold out Roz. He shivers in my hands.

"I've never met a glowing bird like that before. Now if you would-- Wait. that energy... it's so familiar.

"Is... is that...?"
No. 447650 ID: d6ae01
File 134594542928.png - (118.52KB , 700x600 , 163.png )

"Ouch! Hey! What was that for!"

"You did not have permission to come aboard!"
No. 447651 ID: d6ae01
File 134594545544.png - (122.80KB , 700x600 , 164.png )


No. 447652 ID: d6ae01
File 134594547905.png - (143.97KB , 700x600 , 165.png )

"STOP THAT. Why are you such a big meanie!?"

"Look, I've gone this whole adventure without stabbing anyone. I'm a pirate. It was bound to happen eventually."

"Fine, if you're going to be a jerk about it, then I won't hold back! Give in to your heart's greatest desires, feel a desire like none you've ever felt before!"

>Retreat! Collect everyone that is either gay or asexual like Spikesby here. Then come back and command your troops from a distance.
I ponder a hasty retreat while she goes through a lengthy casting animation. Let's see... Boaga and Nilaka are 'pretty open'. Kanela probably isn't asexual. Sue is... questionable, Dragontits is naive, and Jiniki is just a child. If I want to change my party, now's the time.

Don't worry about me. I have the power of bird on my side. Birds are asexual, right?
No. 447653 ID: 0f60d7

Roz is a bird. Roz is a bird.

No. 447655 ID: d6c330

Aw dangit, the diplomatic route was going so well and then you went and stabbed her.

>Give in to your heart's greatest desires, feel a desire like none you've ever felt before!
Your main desires are to be awesome. And you already are. And you're already in love with yourself- possibly in more than one sense. Obviously this attack will have no effect on you.
No. 447656 ID: 40c015

Stab her again
No. 447657 ID: ec0bf5

DARN IT VENJI! Why do you have to be so impatient, we were getting somewhere and then you just go and stab her! Wow you're bad at diplomacy.

...Does this mean Jiniki is sexually attracted to ice cream? I knew she liked it, but... wow... I guess you're probably on your own, then. Tell everyone who's still able to move to barricade themselves in their rooms in case the lust is contagious. Like horny zombies. Does the ship have a helm? Try to get to that.
No. 447670 ID: 13c588

Stop stabbing the giant demon snake that ISN'T HOSTILE you bloodthirsty IDIOT!
No. 447690 ID: 734c82

The power of bird only works on snakes if you're part secretarybird.

Otherwise I think you're screwed. (literally?)
No. 447694 ID: 54c7e5

Get Sue, everyone else here should be fine.
No. 447714 ID: b33427

Hey, when she fires off that spell, hold Roz up so he's hit by it. It'll keep you from being hit, and you'll find out what his heart's greatest desire is. It's sure to be insightful (and hilarious to watch.)
No. 447790 ID: 6a1ec2

Wake up the next morning with a headache. Turn to your left. WHO IS IN THE BED BESIDE YOU
No. 447899 ID: 9718f3

Good thing your greatest sexual desire is stabbing.
No. 447983 ID: b85f8c

Um. Jiniki seems to be paralyzed by desire for ice cream. Seems like she doesn't just have lust powers. You would need someone who has no desires at all.

But uh, your greatest desire is like, treasure and piracy and stuff, right? I think getting hit by that spell would backfire on the demon.

On the other hand, she's too big to stab to death, looks like. Ask her what she was saying before about having a use for you.
No. 448903 ID: d6ae01
File 134619925160.png - (41.14KB , 700x600 , 166.png )

>Roz is a bird. Roz is a bird.

I'm getting mixed signals here. Can one both stab and not stab? Could I in fact invoke Schrödinger's snake?

The possibilities are endless!

All two of them!
No. 448904 ID: d6ae01
File 134619927469.png - (75.36KB , 700x600 , 167.png )

"Um, what are you thinking about?" I ask Jiniki, half afraid to know the answer.

"Ice cream!"

I stare in silence. She couldn't be...?

"My powers do not work on children," Scalene says to my relief.

Guess Jiniki just felt like chilling and thinking about ice cream.
No. 448905 ID: d6ae01
File 134619933450.png - (97.90KB , 700x600 , 168.png )

So if her powers make us give in to our desires, then the obvious answer is to get someone who has none. Now who do I know with no desires whatsoever...

"Sue! Get out here!"

"What is it now-- holy 2 minute speedrun of Hell it's a giant snake."

"Yes. Now go fight it! Fight it with your lack of desire!"

The naga flashes her eyes. "Lack of desire? Are you sure...?"
No. 448907 ID: d6ae01
File 134619935991.png - (195.29KB , 700x600 , 169.png )

"I sense plenty of desire coming from this one..."

Huh. I didn't know Sue had it in her. She's probably thinking about how awesome I am. I know I would.

"Oh look my ultimate attack is charged," snakey says. "This is for stabbing me two times, you big... meanie!"
No. 448908 ID: d6ae01
File 134619939762.png - (338.12KB , 700x600 , 170.png )


No. 448910 ID: d6ae01
File 134619944093.png - (187.57KB , 700x600 , 171.png )

"Captain! We're here to HeoOoOoh my~"

Scalene looks at me quizzically. "It...didn't work? How...?"

"Well, I did roz-block it."

"He did absorb a lot of energy, yes. But not enough to stop it completely! You should be crushed under the sheer weight of your tilde, and yet you still stand. This makes no sense-- I saw how you acted around your twin. There's no way my powers wouldn't work on you unless--

"Oh my god you really are that narcissistic."

"You bet your curvy snake-ass I am."
No. 448914 ID: 0f60d7


Her powers have no affect on you but that doesn't stop her being a snake with infinite coils! Uh, I guess your choices are limited to making her infinite length finite by cutting her in half, or, as a far less ghoulish approach, maybe talking things through.
No. 448920 ID: d6ae01

She isn't some kind of demon-hydra, is she? Does bisecting her leave you with two infinite snakes?

Better not risk it. Deploy Rozbomb, and... oh. Oh crap. How turned on is your bote right now?
No. 448925 ID: 533c7a

now fight her mouth with your mouth.
No. 448927 ID: f453e3

Scalene: Initiate Plan B: CORPORAL CUDDLING.

The bird might be able to resist your wiles, but she's still way smaller than you!
No. 448929 ID: 1b5014

Well, it looks like your Franklin Badge little bird managed to deflect Scalene's lightning lust beam thing... but your whole crew just got wrecked.

You'll have to handle this on your own, with the power of DIPLOMACY haha who am I kidding
No. 448933 ID: ec0bf5

Wait, so how much are you lusting after yourself right now? Is that going to affect you much?

Well, cutting through her will result in the separation of what approaches 100% of her body, so I think that is easily fatal. But let's not, please? I would prefer we did something that doesn't involve murdering someone who's been fighting nonviolently.

If Roz really didn't absorb all of that attack, then that probably means that either he's leaking tildes, or he's somehow reached lust capacity. I'm willing to bet that the latter goes on as long as Scalene, here, so that means that he's emitting high levels of tilde radiation. YOU seem to be somehow resisting it, but I wonder how well she can. Throw Roz straight at Scalene. You know where to aim.
No. 448936 ID: a46f20

You think Roz is charged up enough from that attack for a Rozonance Cascade?
No. 448945 ID: d6c330

Aw, Sue's only desire is a little well deserved recognition. Thankfully that's easy to give. Or well, it would be, if you weren't such a narcissist.

>Ultimate attack, fail
Okay, I'm completely immune to the best you've got. Seems to me this is the point you surrender in the face of my sheer awesomeness. Unless you want me to keep stabbing you. I could do this all day.
No. 448946 ID: 533c7a

the bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, so throw a bush at her then throw roz in the bush so she has twice as much roz power being pumped into her
No. 449100 ID: c6ec33

No. 449103 ID: 6a1ec2

Roz: barf up the cotton candy dragon. Ruin everything.
No. 449904 ID: 2cc3ac

Finish this by throwing Roz at her and telling him to go nuts.
No. 450058 ID: bdccef


Yes. Do this, and - this is important - explain it to her while you do it.

With any luck, she'll get an anyeurism from the sheer "brilliance" of the plan.
No. 450332 ID: d6ae01
File 134651118568.png - (95.25KB , 700x600 , 172.png )

>Boat is a bird. Boat is a bird. Except it isn't at all that's dumb
YYYep. Its canon is out and everything. I really hope that thing doesn't go off prematurely.

"I'm immune to your powers, demon. You might as well surrender now and submit to my sheer awesomeness. Or I could keep stabbing you. That's pretty fun, I could do it all day."

"I just don't get it. That move's never failed before."

"You're still hung up on that?"

"Yes! You don't happen to know why, do you? This is going to bug me all day."
No. 450333 ID: d6ae01
File 134651121780.png - (102.13KB , 700x600 , 173.png )

"Tell me, what's the coolest thing ever?" I ask.


"Right. That's obvious. Now, what's the second coolest thing ever?"

"Um... Ninjas?"

I stare at her.


"Robots. It's robots."
No. 450334 ID: d6ae01
File 134651127011.png - (226.78KB , 700x600 , 174.png )

"Now then. I'm made up of trillions upon trillions of tiny little robots. Do you know what that means, snake?"

"maybe don't call me 'snake' while talking about nanomachines"
No. 450336 ID: d6ae01
File 134651129678.png - (372.70KB , 700x600 , 175.png )

"IT MEANS, my dear, that I am a robot pirate. Your powers are useless on me. Gaze upon me and be overcome with awe, for I am Captain Venji, the coolest fucking thing in the goddamn universe!"


>You think Roz is charged up enough from that attack for a Rozonance Cascade?
>FINISH THIS somehow
"You showed me your move, now let me show you mine! It's time, Roz!"

"Peep peep!"

No. 450337 ID: d6ae01
File 134651132955.png - (115.33KB , 700x600 , 176.png )


"Whoa! What is this-- this lust! It's greater than any I've ever felt before! This bird is the very embodiment of it!"


"Could it be? Could I have finally found my... wait, it's building! No! It's too much! If he goes off I'll--"
No. 450339 ID: d6ae01
File 134651139502.gif - (579.59KB , 700x600 , 177.gif )

No. 450340 ID: d6ae01
File 134651142402.gif - (44.36KB , 700x600 , 178.gif )



I told him not to eat so much candy. At least, I probably should have told him not to.
No. 450341 ID: d6ae01
File 134651146566.png - (79.96KB , 700x600 , 179.png )

"Aww, you poor thing! I didn't know you were sick. Come here, mommy will make it better."

"Peep peeeep."

Huh. Guess she's pacified.
No. 450343 ID: d6c330

Victory pose!

Time to collect crewmembers. Both the ones laying around unconscious from lust spells, and the news ones you just earned. Ijnev is now yours, and you can probably recruit the snake now too.
No. 450344 ID: 180ec2

Holy mother of botes you really are the coolest thing in the universe. Well, Venji, I think you've saved the day. Tell Scalene that if she promises not to try anything you'll get someone to get her patched up. And... maybe invite her to join the crew? Because pirates and robots might be the coolest things in the world, but I'm pretty sure nagas are just below those.

(isn't the bote a girl?)
No. 450345 ID: 0c2247

Ok, candy dragon. Get up and get cuddling.
No. 450500 ID: 1b5014

I can't help but notice that "your" move barely required any input from you at all. AFTER THAT BIG SPEECH, TOO. :V

Anyway, I think it's now time to recruit ALL the party members, and maybe get this, uh, chapter of your life over and done with.
No. 450699 ID: d6ae01

Quick, while she's distracted you need to bite her and infect her with awesome tiny robots!
No. 451650 ID: d6ae01
File 134677784223.png - (96.19KB , 700x600 , 180.png )

"So... I win, right?"

The snake doesn't look up from Roz. "Sure, whatever. There, there, it'll be okay little one."

"And you'll free Ijnev and the others? and join my crew? and I can have all your loot?"

She waves her hand dismissively. "Yes, okay."

"You and I are gonna get along juuuust fine," I say, patting the naga on the back to discreetly place some nanomachines. Every member of my crew gets a few. They transmit a weak signal saying how awesome I am.


"Aww, looks like you need some medicine. Good thing demons always come prepared!"
No. 451651 ID: d6ae01
File 134677789802.png - (138.70KB , 700x600 , 181.png )

>Victory pose!

>I can't help but notice that "your" move barely required any input from you at all. AFTER THAT BIG SPEECH, TOO.
A good captain knows when to trust her crew. I knew Roz could probably handle it, and things are moving along slowly enough without a big epic battle getting in the way!

>Candy dragon
Still don't know what he did with that dragon, but his... sick is lifeless.

Scalene continues mothering Roz while the crew loads the ship with treasure. It's technically the lizards' property, but pirate code 42 clearly states that a pirate can loot the loot of their loot.

>isn't the bote a girl?
It's an innie.
No. 451654 ID: d6ae01
File 134677800781.png - (153.30KB , 700x600 , 182.png )

"...So I totally owned the master, and she nodded dismissively when I asked her to free you, and that totally counts so she's no longer your boss. Since I get all the spoils, you're now part of my crew!"

"I... don't know what to say. I didn't think you could do it. But I don't intend to move from one master to another."

"Oh come on, it's not like that. We'll be partners! Think of it. A robot pirate and a ninja clone? That's a combination you're pretty much never beating."

"Heh, maybe. But if it's all the same to you, I'd... I'd like to find my own purpose. Be my own master for a while. There's another ship, right? I could take that, and find a place for me and the others."
No. 451656 ID: 4a328b

Banish alllllll of your crewmates to the other, more inferior ship. Make them prove themselves worthy to join back with your main crew [you]
No. 451657 ID: d6c330

Well... fine, I guess you can go enjoy some time not enslaved by anyone. (At least this means we get to reunite some day with an awesome naval battle!)
No. 451672 ID: ec0bf5

All right. If she insists. On the condition that she doesn't try to pretend to be you. Say goodbye to Ijnev with a hug and lament losing the chance to recruit the only character that can even approach your "awesome".
No. 451763 ID: a37243

Ijnev can be captain of her own ship so long as you get to be Admiral Venji. And she has to give you a 90% cut of any loot she acquires. And you get exclusive control over the narrative.
No. 451944 ID: 0f60d7

This plan seems legit. GO ADMIRAL VENJI
No. 451956 ID: c6ec33

That sounds good. But you need to discuss things some more, first.

In your chambers.
No. 452496 ID: d6ae01
File 134706486235.png - (130.81KB , 700x600 , 183.png )

"All right, I can respect wanting to find your own identity. Been there myself once. Few rules, though: don't go pretending you're me, I get to be admiral, and I get a small percentage of any loot you find. I'm thinking 90%"

She shrugs. "Whatever floats your boatface. It's not really about the money for me anyway."

Well that was easy. "Then it's agreed!"

"Yes. But if you really want that 90%..."
No. 452497 ID: d6ae01
File 134706490917.png - (252.84KB , 700x600 , 184.png )

"...You're going to have to take it from me~"


"W-well um haha it's still supposedly night time and it'd be silly for you guys to sail off in the dark so why don't you just s-stay here overnight and rest-- yes! Rest up. nice and rested."

"Hmm~ I accept your hospitality... admiral."

I'm liking this already.
No. 452498 ID: d6ae01
File 134706493479.png - (191.47KB , 700x600 , 185.png )

Once daylight breaks, we help Ijnev and her companions get situated on the other ship. They should have enough supplies to last a few months-- long enough to find land, assuming they don't get hopelessly lost like I totally didn't.

I hope... nah, I'm sure they'll be fine. She's my twin, after all. I know deep inside my circuits that we'll meet again one day.

They should be preparing to launch. I hope all that cardboard doesn't slow them down too much.
No. 452499 ID: d6ae01
File 134706497351.png - (305.08KB , 700x600 , 186.png )


Whoa! That's what was inside!? What a... truly fine ship!

The ship circles us once before heading northeast. I listen to the sounds of wind and water around me as I watch them fade into the distance. I don't think I'd ever noticed before how serene the ocean was.

It's almost enough to make an admiral wistful.
No. 452500 ID: d6ae01
File 134706500808.png - (91.21KB , 700x600 , 187.png )

Once I get my fill of the sea, I head to my cabin to collect my thoughts. We should be setting off ourselves soon. I hope the naga will be all right with the island to herself. I'd love to bring her along, but there's no way this little ship is holding something that long.

"Excuse me, captain? Or I guess admiral?"
No. 452501 ID: d6ae01
File 134706502941.png - (119.83KB , 700x600 , 188.png )


"I've decided to come along with you. Someone needs to look after this poor bird and being all alone on an island would get boring really fast."

"oh so that's how you get around"


"Nothing. That works for me. I guess this saves me the trouble of getting Roz a birthday present."


"Welcome aboard. Sorry I stabbed you twice."
No. 452502 ID: d6ae01
File 134706506574.png - (164.65KB , 700x825 , 189.png )

I head back up top and look outward, plotting our path. I find myself thinking on all that's happened and all the people I've met.

It's been a while since I 'obtained' this ship and set out with a skeleton crew of Nilaka, Sue, and Ashela. I think back on all the adventures I've had since. Saving Dragontits from that creepy cat, swordfighting Kanela and her dog, wak-ing it up with spikesby, and making Boaga several times cooler. And then several times prettier.

They say an admiral is only as good as her crew. I know I'm the best, because I'm surrounded by the best people. Maybe one day I'll tell them that.

"Um, captain?" Nilaka's voice speaks up from behind me.

"Ah! Yes, loyal crewman?"

"We're ready to ship out. We just need you to set a course."

"Ah, good. Hmm... I'm thinking west."

"West? Why west? What the heck's out that way?"
No. 452503 ID: d6ae01
File 134706508649.png - (163.51KB , 700x600 , 190.png )

No. 452504 ID: d6ae01
File 134706511187.png - (179.26KB , 700x600 , 191.png )

No. 452505 ID: d6c330

Yes! Good end!

Fair thee well, Captain Admiral Venji.
No. 452506 ID: f2c20c

Ummm... I'm wondering how many of those portals she can have open at once. As she moves around the ship, won't her coils gradually come aboard?
No. 452658 ID: d6ae01

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