>>29496
He's a man with a dong called dong man.

>>29598
Glad to see someone understands sarcasm :P.

TLE 2009/08/14(Fri)20:14 No. 29652 ID: 728150
File 125030604737.png - (103.43KB , 660x641 , 86.png )

>>29576

JACK doesn't have an ape handy at the moment. Maybe later.

>>29496

JACK bulges out of the cord. Tatters of it snap and fly in every direction.

DICK GIRL blanches.
> "W-what? That's cuntanium alloy!"

TLE 2009/08/14(Fri)20:16 No. 29653 ID: 728150
File 125030618240.png - (98.85KB , 1500x768 , 87.png )

>>29500
>>29501
>>29511
>>29573

> CRA... er... COCK BATTLE!

JACK flexes his assets in challenge. DICK GIRL takes a step back.

> "You're more trouble than I expected. I guess I'm going to have to go all out on you."

TLE 2009/08/14(Fri)20:19 No. 29656 ID: 728150
File 125030639031.gif - (611.31KB , 550x400 , 88.gif )

DICK GIRL unsheathes her weapon. JACK sees an opening.

(Animooted. Sorry for horrible quality/glitching. /quest/ suddenly decided SWF wasn't okay to upload after all.)

>>29656
Cockslap her, quickly!

>>29656
Take advantage of the opening! Give a mighty forward thrust!

Deflect her dong and thrust through her thighs with your own mighty meat missile.

Maybe headbutt her at the same time.

Catch her attack with your teeth. Its the only way.

>>29656
Be careful, Dong Man. Remember what happened to that Kink. Her forte seems to be precision Seminal Shots (the complete opposite of yourself), so it might be a good idea to find cover.

>>29687
Hmm...if her forte truly is precision SEMINAL SHOTS...perhaps we could goad her into releasing a few loads, dodging towards TROJAN MAN until she is tricked into shooting through his rope. Then, protective compatriot in hand, we double team her into submission.

At the very least, her load-lobbing abilities are more versatile than our own, as she's used them both to snipe through a kink's skull and then vaporize it's body in midair. While less powerful than our own epic effusions, they are still nothing to take lightly.

We need protection. We should try to get Trojan between her sticky mess and ourselves as quick as possible.

>>29653
Stay on the ground, jumping makes for an easy target. Manuever until you won't hit TROJAN MAN and then launch a SEMINAL SHOT. Take a life-raft and escape.

TLE 2009/08/15(Sat)02:49 No. 29740 ID: 728150
File 125032978923.png - (516.13KB , 1931x2443 , 89.png )

>>29657

JACK moves in to strike with a powerful swing of his man-pole, but DICK GIRL is faster than he expected! She parries him and counters with a quick FEMINAL SHOT.

JACK rolls out of the way and dashes to find cover.

>>29695
>>29700

He continues to draw her fire until he feints and leaps forward, bringing TROJAN MAN's bindings between himself and the incoming projectile.

DICK GIRL realizes what's happening a second too late and, though she clutches her weapon hoping to stem its release, a small blast still spurts forth. TROJAN MAN lands on the ground, cat-like and angry.

>>29740
Attack, trust TROJAN MAN to protect you.
He's got your back, I'm sure.

Draw her fire while Trojan Man moves in!

TLE 2009/08/15(Sat)03:13 No. 29743 ID: 728150
File 125033120148.png - (141.32KB , 880x686 , 90.png )

>>29741
>>29742

JACK suggests double-teaming DICK GIRL with TROJAN MAN.

TROJAN MAN expresses a keen interest in doing so, but lacks the necessary equipment at the moment. He explains that they took his spear and shield and stowed it away in storage somewhere on the ship. He says that he'll be useless in a fight against a woman of this endowment without his pole and protection and suggests he go search for them.

Distract her while TROJAN MAN searches for his equipment!

>>29743
He can handle the Kinks, though?
Distract her while he grabs his spear and shield.
And by 'distract', I mean mean 'cockslap into a coma'

TLE 2009/08/15(Sat)03:41 No. 29746 ID: 728150
File 125033291574.png - (28.37KB , 214x427 , 91.png )

>>29744

JACK gives DICK GIRL a show while TROJAN MAN slips himself through the backdoor.

TLE 2009/08/15(Sat)03:44 No. 29747 ID: 728150
File 12503330685.png - (71.01KB , 346x748 , 92.png )

DICK GIRL is not amused.

> "That idiocy might have defeated a bunch of perverted forum-going fat boys in suits, but I think you'll find I'm a whole different breed of opponent!"

JACK felt that last one. Providing a distraction is more painful than he expected.

>>29747
Try landing as close as you can to her.

After you land, continue dodging to the best of your ability. She can't keep firing forever! ...can she?

Her specialty seems range. Lets engorge further and go for a cockslap!

You do realise a distraction can also be a proper fight, right?

TLE 2009/08/19(Wed)20:59 No. 31725 ID: 728150
File 125074076866.png - (74.68KB , 635x574 , 93.png )

>>29748
>>29783

JACK tries to get inside of his opponent's guard, aiming his soaring mass toward her. DICK GIRL takes the opportunity to unload all over JACK's hand. It burns.

JACK lands gracelessly, arm singed and numb. He is, however, in DICK GIRL's personal space.

>>31725
Cockslap to the face.

Pound that dick girl!

TLE 2009/08/19(Wed)21:17 No. 31738 ID: 728150
File 125074183044.png - (55.47KB , 471x612 , 94.png )

>>31726

JACK brings his bulk to bear, swinging his package with all his might. DICK GIRL takes it in the face, opening her mouth. Unfortunately for JACK, she uses her teeth.

The two are now locked in a mouth-to-crotch grapple!

OH GOD

>>31738
GRAB HER BY THE HAIR AND BUNCH HER IN THE FACE.

TLE 2009/08/19(Wed)21:44 No. 31759 ID: 728150
File 125074349018.png - (44.33KB , 585x353 , 95.png )

>>31740

JACK decides punching her would be a better idea. He grabs DICK GIRL by the ponytail, pulls it tight, and punches her as hard as he can in the back of the head.

TLE 2009/08/19(Wed)21:46 No. 31763 ID: 728150
File 125074358544.png - (61.02KB , 489x364 , 96.png )

DICK GIRL spins and sails through the air, momentarily limp. She crashes through a nearby crate and finally skids to a halt on the cold metal floor.

>>31763
Make sure she's down if not finish her with a hard thrust of your mighty dong. Then tie her up and question her.

>>31763
Well, lets hope she's having trouble getting it back up.
I mean... getting back up. Lets hope she's having trouble getting back up. She seems pretty spent is what I'm saying.

TLE 2009/08/19(Wed)22:15 No. 31789 ID: 728150
File 125074531329.png - (76.99KB , 680x497 , 97.png )

>>31777

JACK approaches his downed opponent. As gets closer, he spots DICK GIRL furiously adjusting her weapon back to fighting form. It glows vibrantly - it's clear a FEMINAL SHOT is welling up.

JACK isn't sure, but bets he could probably get there before she gets it off.

GET UP CLOSE AND PUNCH THE SHIT OUT IF HER AGAIN. NO MORE FUCKING AROUND.

>>31789
Run in, grab it, and squeeze. You may be able to prevent her from getting the shot out, and without that capability, she does not appear nearly as formidable compared to your own MANLY PHYSIQUE.

>>31789
Are we out of the ship? If so we could do a Seminal Shot and obliterate her.

>>31789

Turn the shot back into her own face

>>31795
Yes, squeezing would likely both stop her attack, and put you in a position that would allow you to claim victory with ease, since you'd have a firm grasp on her weapon.

TLE 2009/08/20(Thu)00:02 No. 31861 ID: 728150
File 125075175649.png - (62.28KB , 593x460 , 98.png )

>>31795
>>31830

JACK lunges forward and grips his opponent's polearm with all his might.

>>31861
NOW, POINT IT AT HER FACE.

TLE 2009/08/20(Thu)00:03 No. 31863 ID: 728150
File 125075180456.png - (102.82KB , 836x631 , 99.png )

>>31803

JACK gives DICK GIRL a taste of her own medicine.

TLE 2009/08/20(Thu)00:07 No. 31865 ID: 728150
File 125075202070.png - (76.54KB , 829x630 , 100.png )

It's super effective!

JACK is at a loss for words, his weapon still aching in victory. TROJAN MAN emerges through the door, now carrying his spear and shield.

> "Alright, Dong Man, let's take this bi-- oh. Oh wow. You... wow."

JACK is victorious this day - evil lies before him, thoroughly molested. The city's desires have been sated... for now.

> DongQuest End

Nice work Jack.

Be sure to Dick Girl back to your lair for penetration - I mean, interrogation.

>>31865

You blew her head off, didn't you? Niiice.

And- wait...

> DongQuest End

This isn't over permanently, is it? Shit, I just began reading this quest, too.

>>31882

There'll likely be a sequel/chapter 2/whatever at some point. Don't hold your breath or anything, I just want to try something else for a while. Who knew you could get burned out on dick jokes?

>>31886
Breast quest?