>>128465
BADASS

>>128465

Holy shit you're in color now!

Muschio in color...on Update number 1000!

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)20:29 No. 128488 ID: c593ec
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>"You? Ha! You couldn't be the ruler of my hairy ass! Now fuck off! I ain't tellin' you again, asshole!"
"You are making a most unwise decision."

>>128488

That does it. You kick his ass.

If he makes a move knife his wrist to make him drop the knife. After striking him there put it up to his neck to make a point. Make him bow to you before he leaves.

>>128488
It's clobberin' time.

You look like a mugger, honestly. Oh well. Just cut him and take the girl. She's flat as a board, but you wouldn't want to sex the fat guy.

>>128488
"Especially since while talking to me, the woman has run off."

When he turns around, smash him in the back of his head with the dagger pommel.

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)20:39 No. 128494 ID: c593ec
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The man is clearly drunk, and stumbles at me with all the coherency and aim of a paper airplane in a maelstrom.

I slam him in the back of the head with the dagger's pommel and he goes down like a load of bricks.

>>128494
Strip him of his clothes while asking the girl about the nature of the medicine.

>>128494
Well that was easy. Now find the woman.

Now find that girl.

Nice!

Now address the girl about this "misunderstanding."

Poke him just to be sure. These hostile characters have a way of regaining consciousness at the most inopportune of moments.

A reminder guys. We want loyal subjects, not corpses. If we can get him to accept that we are stronger and agree to serve us then we gain more than killing him would.

Establish dominance then show compassion.
That is how you get subjects.

Play a little good cop, make it look like you're on her side, the elicit the truth from her.

Someone drunkenly accosting a little girl does not strike me as a prime specimen for a reliable follower.

See if you can wake him up and make sure he is ok. Tell him that we could have killed him and chose not to because we would rather be his friend. Reiterate that we are his lord whether he likes it or not. We will not forgive him if he attacks us again. Send him back to town and tell him to remember our name.

Before all that answer this: Are you a good lord or a bad lord? Will you serve the people as your father did or will you suck the land dry like a parasite?

>>128506
I don't think we should honestly care about this fellow's opinion of us before we have dealt with the lady. He likely is alive for now, if he wishes to remain so he will not test our patience.

>>128507
I just don't want this drunkard going around saying he was accosted by "Muschio Malto", he isn't yet quite in the position to be making a name for himself under THAT name.

>>128494
a paper airplane in a maelstrom.

but how does muschio know what airplane is?

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)20:57 No. 128511 ID: c593ec
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The drunken catfolk is out cold, so I approach the little woman, who looks relieved at the way the situation is resolving.

>"Jeez, thanks! You really saved my ass!"
"I'm not done here. Can you tell me more about what this was about?"
>"Oh, sure thing! Yeah, I sold this guy and his friends some herbs. They were having a party, see? And they wanted something to give 'em... you know, sort of an extra kick. See? And anyway they were already drunk, so when they didn't feel anything right away, they all turned on me for givin' them bunk drugs. But I would never!"
"Are you an herbalist?"
>"Well, no. Actually, I'm a witch doctor!"
"You mean witch doctress?"
>"Eh, I don't think that's a word."

What species is that?

"Can you do anything about... burns? Possibly missing eyes?"

>>128512
Mudkip.

That's not a smoke bomb or something she's taking out of her bag, is it? Best to err on the side of caution here.

>>128513

"I see. Would you happen to know of anything that could cure severe burns and scarring? I am willing to compensate."

"Should have used Nanroot... it mixes well with alcohol in my alchemical experience."

Suggestion 2010/02/08(Mon)21:03 No. 128519 ID: 67c611
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>>128511

>>128511
We could also ask her about the Fang Necklace, or any magic users she knows of. If her skills seem suitably impressive, we could even offer her a job.

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)21:10 No. 128522 ID: c593ec
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I draw my blade again, in case of a surprise attack. She startles.

>"Whoa! Calm down, mister, I'm just getting my hat."
"I apologize, but I try to remain cautious."
>"Well, yeah, I understand. Anyway, hey, thanks again. If you need anything -- y'know, ipspim, weezleaf, nanroot, hopweed -- I could return the favor."
"Actually, do you know anything about treating burns? Rather severe ones."
>"Sure do. There's a reason 'witch doctor' contains the word 'doctor', you know."

We've got a girl who is missing half her face. Can you work with that?

>>128522

"Excellent. Perhaps you can return the favor sooner than later."

I'm more concerned about the 'witch' part, actually.

>>128510
Those dwarves, my friend. Those dwarves.

>>128526

Well said.

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)21:20 No. 128528 ID: c593ec
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"Very well. I have an ally who has been grievously scarred by burns in a recent accident. If you'd come along, perhaps you can repay the favor sooner rather than later."
>"Oh hey, sure thing. I'm always lookin' for work. This isn't one of those rape things though, is it?"
"...what?"
>"You know. 'Oh hey, I got a sick friend. Come into my windowless hut so you can take a look at him'. That sort of thing."
"...I assure you, it is not."
>"Okay, well, I'm good to go then."

>>128528
WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY

>>128528
Kick behind you.

Kick behind you to the left.

Pissed guy behind you. Cut that asshole's throat.

[ponder rape scam]

Jump to your right.

BEHIND YOU!

>>128528
do not lower your guard, watch your back

>>128528
Guy behind you, kick your left foot straight backward.

>>128528
Sidestep, stomp!

So, uh... you get raped a lot?

...Do you... do you MIND?

>>128528
psst, that hat looks to be a familiar shape, but I can't tell for sure. We should get a good look at it before leading her to the Vault.

>>128528
Kick behind you very sharply with your left leg.

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)21:33 No. 128545 ID: c593ec
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"Fantastic. Let's move along then. But first, I'd like to introduce you to my associate, Ashedel."
>"Hiya!"
>"Nice to meet you, Ashedel, Mister Malto. My name's Marjani Openda, but you can call me Ona."

"Well then. Shall we be on our way?"

stick your dick in ona

Kill him. He doesn't know when to quit. You should show him when.

Be on your way.

But keep Ona at an arm's length. Also, don't show her the amulet.

>>128545
Hmm, maybe I was wrong about the hat. Proceed to the Vault, then.

Threesome.

Or, ride Ash bareback to the cave.

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)21:56 No. 128558 ID: c593ec
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"This is it."
>"...you live in a dungeon?"
"Yes, quite impressive, isn't it?"

>"...are you sure this isn't one of those rape things?"
"Yes!"

>>128558
If you'd like, I can make it one of those rape things. But otherwise.....no.

[ps you are lying about the no.]

She's going to walk in on the Princess and get a VERY wrong impression, isn't she.

how often does she fall for that rape trap thing she keeps talking about

"It would be rude to ask if you often get accosted but uh.."

Tell her nobody will try to rape her. Seduce you can't promise.

>>128558
Uh, what will she think of Dompag?

>>128558
Let's make sure she doesn't find out about the prisoner.

>>128558
Do you WANT it to be?

What's her name, anyway?

"Look, I'll leave the door ajar if it makes you feel any better."

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)22:05 No. 128571 ID: c593ec
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>"Say, this place is a lot nicer on the inside. Real homey."
"See, I told you there was nothing to worry about."

>"So, you just need me to take a look at this one burnt friend of yours? If that's all it is I won't charge, on account of you saved my ass back there."

Nudge her off the trapdoor a little...

"Now that you mention it that ass does look worthy of saving."

>>128571
Try to convince her to stay longer. Having a witch doctor on your team gets you both magic and a doctor. And Mushio, try to learn some more magic, if you can learn the fire trick you should be able to learn other stuff. One never knows when they could be useful.

>>128571
That, and maybe she can help identify the Fang Necklace, or tell us where we can find leads on practitioners of whatever the guy was doing.

Lead her to Tislomer. Don't ACCIDENTALLY LEAD HER TO THE PRINCESS THUS SCARING HER INTO RUNNING AWAY REALLY FAST BUTTERFACE.

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)22:13 No. 128581 ID: c593ec
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"Well, depending on how things work out, we may be able to offer you a more permanent sp-"
>"WOW! Check out this room, it's huge! Hey, how many people live here?"
"Let's see... in addition to myself and Ashedel, we have one goblin, two kobolds, an ogre, and -- er, a few others. Mostly workers. About a dozen total."
>"Nice place, but the tile could use a little work. It's a little loose, and I bet some polish would make it look great."
"Well, we do our best to keep things in order as it is."

Yes, polish her ass good.

[wave of inappropriate thoughts being sent your way. Enjoy :D]

>>128581
...the storage room is open AGAIN. Do go check in there to see if the invader came back again.

>>128581
Somebody left a door open.
...Why does that feel so foreboding?

>>128584

FORBOOOOOOOODE.

Investigate open door. We shall not have drafts in out magnificent lair.

DAMNIT MUSCHIO, RAPE THAT BITCH ALREADY SO I CAN GO TO BED!

>>128592
Shaddap.

>>128592
Hey now we are running a nefarious lair here... not a bordello or some harem.

We could have a rape cave installed off to the side. A few chains and some oddly shaped furniture would set the mood. Also could pass it off as a gym.

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)22:34 No. 128604 ID: c593ec
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"Babrakus! What's that door doing ajar?"
>"I'm just installing th -- BOSS? Oh god -- boss! Don't move! The entryway's trapped!"
"What are you talking about?!"

click
whk
KHKHHH
WHOM

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Quick disable the new rape pit!

>>128604
OHGOD. Freeze and look to see if anyone got hurt.

>>128604
FFFFFFFFFFFFF WE FORGOT ABOUT THAT! APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY!

>>128604
Fuuuu...

whoops!

STATUS RAPEORT! I MEAN SEXES REPORT! FUCK.

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)22:37 No. 128612 ID: c593ec
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>"AAAAAAAHHH! OH GOD! RIGHT IN THE TACO! HNNNNGH!"
Oh dear.

>>128612
I hope she got medicine for that!

>>128612
"...I'm gonna have to pay you for the treatment now aren't I."

>>128612
Well... at least you didn't walk into that ehh Muschio?... I think the lady is going to need a place to lay down (make sure Dompag doesn't bother her) also... find out what the new trap layout is.

A giant swinging fist at dick punching height? Compliment Babs.

Oh right we did mention needing one of those awhile back. Compliment Babrakus on a job well done.

Nothing a home remedy of RAPE can't cure!

Might as well offer her a lie down.

>>128612
Um um tell her that someone tried to steal something that was in here, so Bab made a trap for people who would try and steal stuff. And tell her not you. Then apologize profusely.

>>128612
No more working on projects without TELLING THE BOSS ABOUT THEM.
Agreed?

You should probably inspect her taco to make sure it's alright.

Muschio 2010/02/08(Mon)22:48 No. 128628 ID: c593ec
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>"YOU JACKASS."
"Um... would you like to lie down somewhere?"