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File 168036555566.png - (11.66KB , 640x360 , order-up-2.png )
1060199 No. 1060199 ID: a7a180

Episode II: Attack of the Calzones

Previously: https://tgchan.org/wiki/Order_Up
Title card courtesy of Riotmode!
Expand all images
No. 1060200 ID: a7a180
File 168036567676.png - (14.38KB , 500x500 , the_worst_day_of_her_life.png )

This can’t be happening.
No. 1060201 ID: a7a180
File 168036568173.png - (13.83KB , 500x500 , second_worst_day_of_her_life.png )

This can’t be happening!
“You’re firing me? But I’m your best worker! What did I do wrong? Please, I need this job!”
No. 1060202 ID: a7a180
File 168036568577.png - (14.00KB , 500x500 , hes_overqualified_really.png )

Your boss isn’t looking thrilled about this either. “I’m sorry Jynn, but corporate sprung this on me as well. Effective today, due to budget cuts at this location your role’s been reassigned to an automated helper.”
“Seriously? But that’s just a gonk with a serving tray glued to it!”
“Like I said, budget cuts.”
No. 1060203 ID: 580aa8

No. 1060205 ID: e51896

Ask for your severance pay, and go a-job huntin'! This job was making you miserable anyways, and you did fantasize about quitting anyway. See this as an opportunity
No. 1060207 ID: e51896

Oh yeah, go see if Ju'di got let go too, maybe you can job hunt together with her?
Actually, nah. she's too lazy and will be insufferable to work together with. But we can see if she was let go too if you want and if she already has another job planned out.

And tell your replacement to enjoy cleaning the restrooms.
No. 1060210 ID: be2ac4

Aww fuck. Well, you *could* put in another round of applications to the IT positions that have been open for the last nine months or... lets be honest, it's time to get another food service job for the exact same (or lower) pay.
No. 1060225 ID: 2aa5f0

could you ask her to at least help you with your re'sume' so you can at least have better luck finding a new job?
No. 1060226 ID: be5058

Go to upper management and mind trick them into giving you your job back.
No. 1060231 ID: bc24cb

You're a licensed* service technician!

Sabotage the gonk before you leave, prove they need you!
No. 1060269 ID: 273c18

Time to cut their budgets...
No. 1060486 ID: a7a180
File 168056536244.png - (16.69KB , 500x500 , deja_vu_all_over_again.png )

Fff- Okay, don’t panic, they aren’t firing you because they found out your secret, they’re just- cutting corners, like they always do.
>Did Ju’di get let go too?
Of course Ju’di would be spared from layoffs, her dad is an executive somewhere up the fast food chain. You hope she enjoys having to clean the refresher from now on.
“Well, could you help me with my resume at least, so I have something to show my next employer?”
Lorge’s face is downcast, but her mind is already elsewhere. “Ah, sorry Jynn, but could we wrap this up? I’m just really busy today. If you want my advice, um, be sure you pick a nice font for your resume.”
>sabotage the gonk before you leave
Staring into its beady little face, you can't bring yourself to harm this innocent creature. It's just an unknowing tool in a larger game of corporate attrition.
>Ask for severance pay
Ha ha ha! Sometimes a little humor goes a long way towards defusing tension. You receive nothing but a few minutes to clear out your locker. They even repossessed the uniform shirt, good thing you wore something under it today.
You find yourself out on the streets once again, wandering without any idea what your future will be like. A few careers you might have the skills for cross your mind, but the real obstacle is finding an employer who doesn’t care about your background, your unimpressive history of employment (Five years at McEmperor’s and not so much as a recommendation to show for it!), and can pay you before your next rent check is due.
>mind trick upper management into giving you your job back.
Like… Emperor Palpatine? No thanks.
The flapping of a worn poster makes you look up from kicking a can down the road. Poof’s Pizza… the name is strangely familiar. You’ve seen this poster in your dreams before. So this is a real place? The owner is the same species as you, which is pretty uncommon around here. Perhaps they’re hiring. The Force works in mysterious ways…
No. 1060487 ID: a7a180
File 168056537589.png - (14.15KB , 500x500 , please_leave_a_tip_jarjar.png )

The address on the poster leads to an unassuming storefront a few street levels below the diner. You walk into the pizzeria and silence greets you. The smells of rising dough and warm ovens fill your palms. It’s pleasant compared to the kitchen at McEmperor’s, much less… greasy. You ring the bell for service, and you hear a thump from below the counter.
“Ah! Be with you in a moment...” Mr. Poof pops up, looking just like the poster. “Oh, j-just a customer. What can I get you?”

>How do you introduce yourself?
No. 1060488 ID: 15b8d1

Be bluntly honest. You just got fired, you need a new job, and this place looks way better than your last job anyway.
No. 1060490 ID: 2aa5f0

give the name you've been using for the last couple years and ask if he's hiring since you're looking for a job. And if he isn't hiring ask if he knows anywhere that is.
No. 1060491 ID: b57fea

Every thing has been downhill for me since the republic, PLEASE MR. POOF I NEED A JOB. You cannot imagine the horror(ible bathrooms) and trauma(tic customer interactions) I've suffered since the empire moved in and cut our future (wages) apart!
No. 1060495 ID: e5709d

"I've have a large calzone with wookie sausage and a hiring application on the side."
No. 1060497 ID: dee951

It's Wookieean sausage! IE, sausage the style Wookies traditionally make, not Wookiee Sausage, ie, sausage made from Wookies!
No. 1060499 ID: 11f77a

"Yes I was wondering if you are currently hiri--

Whoa, wait. Hold on, back up. What kind of... backwards speciesist establishment do you think you're running here, bucko?! The sign there? Yeah. I'll have you know I'm friends with some calamari people.

Who do you think you are to omit calamari as a pizza topping? My friends... they love that stuff!"
No. 1060503 ID: be2ac4

Order a slice and a salad and fill out an application :)
No. 1060534 ID: 4ae479

Goddamn his neck is even longer than yours. Is that attractive among your kind?

If he's the owner and chef and answering the counter, he's got to be understaffed. Ask for the job. Being a delivery pizzaslave would be a pretty sweet gig, or at least it is compared to most other things in the fast food industry.
No. 1060719 ID: a7a180
File 168074349482.png - (13.42KB , 500x500 , its_pizza_time.png )

>His neck is even longer than yours. Is that attractive among your kind?
Yes, it is. You’re not jealous. The wrinkles on his head and thick mustache on his face indicate he is a distinguished gentleman, a bit out of your age group.

You decide to be blunt and upfront.
“How about a job? I just got fired for no good reason and need a new one. I’ll do anything you’ve got. It’s… all been downhill for me since the Republic.”
He stares for a moment, letting the offer of cheap labor hang in the air until his face dawns with understanding. “Y-you too..? Oh thank the stars, I thought I was the only one! You poor thing, how did you survive this long?”
“A minimum wage job at McEmperor’s… I’d rather not talk about the other stuff.”
Mr. Poof nods sagely. “We’re the same, you and I.”
Oh no, did he recognize you? Well, guess there’s no pretending you’re a xexto in front of another quermian. “Huh? Oh, haha, isn’t that funny! I guess we are the same species, yeah.”
“No, like… don’t you remember me?”
“Uhh, yeah? From the poster?” You’re starting to get nervous.
“Oh… okay. Well uh, nevermind! My delivery driver didn’t show up today, and these pizzas need to be delivered, stat. You do that for me and his job’s all yours!”
Looks like you’re back on the clock! Congratulations.

>Wait, what about that sign?
You notice a very speciesist sign on the counter. He’d better have a good reason for such blatant discrimination!
“Wait, hold on a second, why don’t you serve mon calamari?”
He looks confused before glancing back at the sign. “Ohh, we don't serve calamari pizza here because Mon Calamari are people and not a topping, so I just wanted to clear that up and avoid any misunderstandings.”

Mr. Poof quickly rattles off a primer on proper pizza procedure while giving you your new uniform, your deliveries, a comlink, and a pair of keys.
“Okay, the speeder’s parked out back, check the comlink for the address and any special instructions, and call me after you finish a delivery, okay? Good luck out there!” With that, he shoves you out the door.
No. 1060720 ID: a7a180
File 168074349865.png - (15.09KB , 500x500 , twin_lekku_discount.png )

You spot a beat-up old speeder parked outside with a decorative pizza flag glued on the hood. This must be your ride. What a piece of junk! You put the pizzas in the footwell of the passenger seat and start up the engines after a few tries. Then you check the first message on the comlink for the instructions. The caller is a Twi’lek lady, with only her head set to visible.
Hey there. I’d like one large Wookiee sausage pizza, if you know what I mean. My address is 827 Ulendale Heights, apartment 2B. Oh, and when you get here, could you make sure to, verbally confirm the order for me? Remember, one large sausage pizza, extra hot.” She winks and the call ends.
Okay, the navcomp shows you how to get there easily. You make good time in the light traffic and park out front. You hope nobody bothers the other pizzas while you’re inside. You make your way up the stairs and ring the buzzer for the apartment.
“Who is it?” You hear the twi’lek’s voice from inside.
“Uhh… it’s me, the pizza guy.” Oh right, the instructions. “Did somebody order a large sausage pizza?”
“Oh! Oh yes. Just a minute!”
You hear her moving around inside for just under a minute. It sounds like she drops some stuff on the floor, turns a faucet on then off and then it goes quiet for a while. Finally she slides the door partway open and leans out, dripping wet and wearing nothing except a towel. “Sorry, you caught me while I was in the shower. Can you say that one more time, please?”
“Uhh… Did somebody order a large sausage pizza, extra hot?” You’re feeling more awkward by the second.
“Ohh, yes I did! But oops, I don’t have any money!” She winks again. “Perhaps I can pay you… some other way?” Her eyelashes flutter seductively.
Is this real? You thought this only happened in… you know, those kinds of holovids.

>I accept cash and cash money.
>No wait, let’s hear her offer.
>Use the Force: write-in how
No. 1060729 ID: dee951

Even if you never accept her offer, you would always, ALWAYS kick yourself while awake in the middle of the night if you never even listened to it.

So go ahead and hear her offer!
No. 1060731 ID: 9b127b

list to her offer! who knowa it might be interesting!
No. 1060732 ID: e5709d

Sith Alert
And even if she isn't an underground Sith / Con Artist / Serial Killer / MLM spokeswoman, if her spouse comes in while you're banging, you're screwed.

Ask for gold, jewels, or anything that has significant legally recognized value. If you can pawn it legally, you'll take it.
No. 1060735 ID: 273c18

Ah he's probably a jedi too.

Well, listen to what she has to say. You DID just get this job though so you need to return with some sort of payment.
No. 1060754 ID: f8083d

You can't accept the offer because you haven't got any money either. And for that matter, you're strapped for time too!
Cash only, or you'll try your luck selling it to the next customer.
No. 1060758 ID: 763425

"I'll hear your offer but I am on the clock here ma'am"
No. 1060801 ID: 96112b

People ask for Mon Calamari on their pizza? Must be an Outer Rim thing.

Tell her that you don't have any extra sausage in your pocket, if she knows what you mean.

Mind trick her to give a big tip
No. 1060806 ID: 045abc

Assuming what's obviously happening is what you think is happening -- do you swing that way? What are your preferences, besides for curt warrior mans in full body armour and against "hairy guys"? (where would a shaved farghul fall on that spectrum?) Did you find your lazy coworker and big titty cyclops dino boss attractive?

Regardless, you should hear her out. This is a really bad idea when you're literally on your first day and need to bring back cash pronto. But it's also basically like you found a unicorn, you can't just ignore that shit. Maybe it's all fake and this is a joke at your expense, maybe it's the universe demanding you end up in a pizza delivery porn plot.
No. 1060860 ID: a7a180
File 168083123224.png - (15.64KB , 500x500 , that_was_a_close_getaway.png )

>She’s a Sith!
Only a Sith deals in baseless accusations!
>He’s a jedi
No, that’s not true. It’d be impossible. The Jedi are all dead, you have firsthand knowledge of that.
>Did you find your coworkers attractive
Whatever admiration you might have felt for either of them was deep fried by having to work there for five years straight. You’d have more feelings for FLO than anyone else at that point, poor droid.

“...I’m listening.”
The Twi’lek gives a practiced smile. “Come on in, let’s discuss this in private.” You flinch as she takes your hand and pulls you into the apartment. You don’t think she’s really interested in discussing anything, and come to think of it was probably lying about the money too since her wallet is lying on the floor next to a pile of clothes. Her bed is very soft.
You feel your willpower fading. She’s not a knight in shining armor, but she is a Twi’lek. You’ve… heard things. “Look, I’m on the clock right now…”
“Then we’ll be quick.” She leans over to sniff your neck, an easy target. “Hmm. So big and smooth, just like the poster- though, didn’t you have a mustache?” she queries innocently.
This is a really bad idea. But… You’d kick yourself if you didn’t try. “I-i didn’t bring any extra sausage… but I did bring a mustache.” You always have your mustache on you.
Sometime later, you’re not sure when, you find yourself standing outside the apartment. You’re don’t know what just happened, but now you know how a karuki pole must feel.
“Bye~! Thankf for the pie, cutie pie!” Before you can respond she shuts the door. Blast! You’ve been bamboozled into giving away free pizza. Well, this is embarrassing. You’d better call in and promise to do a better job next time.

Mr. Poof picks up after the first ring.

:poofworry: Are you okay? It took you so long, I thought you’d gotten lost! Did you deliver the pizza yet?

“Uhh, yeah! Yeah. Don’t worry, I found it eventually, she was uh- quite understanding!”

:poofworry: Good, good, she’s a frequent caller and pretty easygoing. Did she tip you well?

“Oh, yeah! Yeah. She tipped real well, when- uh. I mean, I’ve got the hang off- hang of this delivery thing! Gotta go do the next one bye.“ Click. You can afford to pay those credits out of pocket at least so he doesn’t notice.

Time’s a-wasting, so you play the next order after you get back in the air. A sinister hooded figure hunches over his holo-terminal as he speaks in a raspy voice.
:darkhood: Yess, I’d like an order of four- no, five large pizzas for a… party I’m throwing. Yess… extra anchovy. I’m on, ehe, level 1313, third door on the right in service corridor 2. I’ve uh *cough* got a cold, so excuse my voice. Just knock loudly and I’ll hear you. Hehehe… Click.
At the end there it sounded like someone else started snickering. Something seems fishy, and it’s not just the stack of pizzas next to you. That’s a real shady neighborhood… but, it’s a big order. Could pay a lot. You dread what could happen if you miss out on two payments in a row, and if you snub a real order by mistake, are they someone you can afford to upset?
The choice is simple: Go or no go.
No. 1060861 ID: 273c18

Go. You can use force powers if things go bad.
No. 1060865 ID: bc24cb

Go! This raspy, sickly voice sounds very trustworthy. You have a totally cool concealed blaster right?

You don't? Go anyway, you're somehow cash negative this workday.
No. 1060881 ID: f8083d

Flag this order as probable prank and skip to the next one.
No. 1061106 ID: 58dd24

go on, it can't be worse than the customers at your old job. Besides, the real evil mastermind lives in the palace, not some low-rent bad neighborhood.
No. 1061135 ID: a7a180
File 168118181468.png - (13.80KB , 500x500 , whats_the_password.png )

>You have a totally cool concealed blaster right?
You wish. You couldn’t afford even the dinkiest holdout blaster. Whipping that out might actually get you out of trouble sometimes, whereas whipping out a lightsaber will usually get you into more.

>Go for it
You’ve screwed up once already and you need the money. If it’s a prank call, that’s not your fault, right? And you can handle yourself if things go bad. Okay, you take the next exit and turn off the main highway into a vertical shaft down to the undercity. You go down… and down… 1313 is a really low level. The descent is taking forever, but if you turn the engines down any lower you’re afraid you’ll drop out of the sky. After what feels like an hour, but was really only fifteen minutes of trying not to hit the walls or another vehicle, you reach the bottom of the access shaft. You hope you’re taking the right service corridor, the instructions weren’t very clear.
The smell here is profoundly like a sewer. Every drip from the leaky pipes overhead makes you flinch. Stay calm… this is the place, you hope. You knock twice, but receive no answer. You’re about to turn and flee back to the surface when a hatch on the door slides open.
“What do you want?” It’s that mandalorian! What is he doing here?
You find yourself speechless. “Iauhuuhhh… pizza!”
His visor conceals the disbelief conveyed by his voice. “Pizza?”
“You… ordered it?”
“…No I didn’t. Who sent you?”
“Huh? Some weird guy in a hood.” You take out your comlink and hold the order up to the slot.
He studies the shrouded face intently. “I don’t know how they found my safehouse, but I’m going to have a talk with this… Sook Mydek.” In hindsight, it’s pretty obvious when you say it out loud.
He closes the hatch, then changes his mind and opens it again. “…What kind of pizza is it?”
“Uhh, anchovy.”
He sniffs the air. “...You can leave it by the door. Here, sorry for the trouble.” He drops a coin through the hatch and you catch it with your free hand. …Woah, this is solid beskar. That will definitely pay for the order. You love a good tipper.

You call Poof again as soon as you have reception.
“I’ve finished another delivery. I think this one was a fake, though.”

:poofworry: Yeah, sorry about that. I don’t know what I was thinking when I gave you that order, I guess I was a little frazzled this morning. I shouldn’t have made you go to 1313 on your first day. Do you still have the pizzas?

“No, the person who answered was… very understanding. They offered to pay for the pizzas anyway, so I gave it to them.”

:poofworry: “Ohh, how lucky! They wouldn’t have been any good for reselling anyway, you can’t really get the taste of fish out of them.”
No. 1061136 ID: a7a180
File 168118182388.png - (16.03KB , 500x500 , star_warranty_expired.png )

Unfortunately, your luck runs out on the trip back up. The vertical ascent puts too much stress on the beat-up old speeder, and the engines overheat. You’re barely able to sputter over to a parking platform before the hovercar calls it quits and nearly drops you all the way back down into the abyss. The port nacelle is coughing out black smoke. At least the pizzas are staying warm. How are you going to deliver them now?
The traffic going by is indifferent to your engine trouble. There’s so many ships and speeders passing by every minute, you could probably use them as stepping stones, if you remember your old training…

>Get a tow to the nearest repair shop: It’ll cost you...
>Try and fix the problem yourself
>Get out and walk
>Call your boss and tell him it’s just not happening
No. 1061138 ID: 96112b

Our intrepid heroine can intrepidly find the source of this problem herself, we believe in her.
No. 1061139 ID: e5709d

First, call the client and tell them their order is cancelled due to a speedster accident, but they can get a free pizza (with max number of toppings equal to the number of pizzas they ordered) at the shop to compensate.

Do you remember the basics of vehicle maintenance safety? Start by taking out any parts that don't need to stay equipped at all times, and give them a rough cleaning. Then screw it all back in and call the tow guy.
No. 1061151 ID: 273c18

Regardless, call your boss and tell him what happened.

I vote you try to get there on foot. Channel your inner Peppino!
No. 1061163 ID: e51896

we're going to need that vehicle fixed, not just for this delivery, but future deliveries as well. try to fix it yourself, but let your boss know what happened too
No. 1061174 ID: 4ae479

The timing is really terrible for it to break down. He'll think Jynn's responsible, which at best really hurts the chance he'll want her to stay on long-term and at worst forces her into paying it off along with hurting her prospects for the job. But trying to repair it isn't a good idea. She might make things worse, and if it's insured, her meddling could void the policy. Better to just be responsible, call him about it, and try to deliver on foot.
No. 1061228 ID: 763425

open hood to see if the problem os something obvious and easy. if not, ir is time for some hardcore parkour
No. 1061229 ID: 763425

open hood to see if the problem os something obvious and easy. if not, ir is time for some hardcore parkour
No. 1061365 ID: a7a180
File 168145002404.png - (11.43KB , 500x500 , some_shortcut.png )

>Try to find the problem yourself
You take a look under the hood to see what can be done. You’ve heard of this model as a rugged and dependable speeder - well, maybe just rugged. On the off chance you’ll find something useful, you check the glovebox. Incredible, an X-34 that still has its owner’s manual.
After familiarizing yourself with the engine layout, you diagnose the issue as low coolant pressure. The solution is to simply let the heat exchanger cool off before topping it off again with water. Unfortunately, you don’t have that kind of time! This pizza needs to be delivered now. You take the keys with you and take a running leap into the skyway.
You land on the back of a slow moving sedan and you’re almost as startled by his horn honking as the driver is by you. It’s important to keep your momentum up as you jump again, swinging on antennae and using cooling units as handholds to scale up the side of a skyscraper whose bottom floor is hidden beneath clouds. You reach a covered walkway and sprint across the top at blistering speed, turning the heads of those that bother to look up.
As you turn onto a thin spar spanning the next skylane, you remember you should probably call your boss about the car troubles. Traffic whizzes scant feet over your head as you struggle to open the commlink one-handed.

“Mr. Poof! I have good news and bad news.”

:poofworry: Are you okay? You’re running awfully fast.

“I’m fine! Just fine. It’s about the speeder, not me. Bad news is it overheated on the way up from 1313.”

:poofworry: What about 1313? It’s hard to hear you, there’s a lot of noise on your end.

“I said, the car overheated on the way back up!”

:poofworry: My car! Where is it now?

“It’s fine! I parked it… pretty high up. I took the keys so it should be fine. The good news is I’m still on the way to my next delivery!”

:poofworry: Wait, you left my car on the side of the road?

“-Uh, sorry, didn’t catch that, I’m going through a tunnel! I’ll call you back, bye!”
You just happen to be running past a tunnel at that very moment! This will be a good shortcut, you think. However, the confined space leaves even less room between you and the rush of traffic, and you’re forced to run even faster to keep ahead of the frantically honking speeder on your tail.
There’s just one thing between you and your goal now - a whole lot of nothing. You put the stepping stone comparison to the test as you bound from car to car. Leaping from the express lane, you land on a massive freighter making its way up and out of the grid. With a final burst of speed, you cross the ship from stern to stem in time to safely land on a concourse in front of your destination.
You catch your breath while taking the elevator the rest of the way. It felt good to stretch your legs after so long! Dashing through the rush hour traffic was exhilarating, but scary. And not just the physical peril, but you’re worried that someone might have seen you doing those unnatural jumps and realized you’re a Jedi. ...It'll be fine, you're just an anonymous pizza delivery guy pulling a weird stunt. Pizza delivery guys barely even register on people's radar.
No. 1061366 ID: a7a180
File 168145002794.png - (14.58KB , 500x500 , off_the_clock.png )

The elevator dings at level 91 and you make your way to the apartment at a light jog. The pizza might be a bit late, but that’s not your fault is it? There might not even have been a delivery if you hadn’t come along. You ring the buzzer and wait.
“What do you want?”
“It’s your pizza!”
He keeps you waiting again before sliding the door open. A short and flabby guy in a stormtrooper helmet stares at you coldly- you assume, it’s sort of the default expression of this helmet.
“You’re late.” His voice sounds familiar - was this the guy you served expired tendies to? Hard to say, stormtroopers are pretty much identical after all.
“Sorry, my car broke down. I came as fast as I could.”
“I’m not paying for this.”
“...Excuse me?”
“The rules say pizza gets delivered in thirty minutes or it’s free. It’s been way more than thirty minutes.”
You are racking your brain trying to rationalize this statement, and you are fairly certain Poof never mentioned anything like it in his briefing, his signage or elsewhere. “...We don’t have any such policy, sir.”
He repeats himself adamantly. “It’s delivered in thirty minutes or it’s free.”
Why can’t these people ever just pay you?

>Options to deal with this customer:
>The Force
No. 1061369 ID: e51896

He's trying to scam you if there's no policy like that.

call his bluff and Threaten. Be like "fine, if you don't want to pay for your pizza, I'll just drop it off in the garbage compactor then." Then go off to the nearest garbage chute you can find. Odds are he'll either stop and pay you... or jump in after the pizza, risking getting crushed by the garbage mashers.
No. 1061370 ID: e51896


>He keeps you waiting again before sliding the door open

He was definitely waiting an extra minute before opening the door so that the pizza will be late. he's totally scamming you.
No. 1061371 ID: f2320a

Yep exactly
No. 1061373 ID: e5709d

"...Sir, do you ever want to purchase pizza from our store ever again?"
Set the pizza down on the doorstep and immediately turn away.
No. 1061376 ID: bc24cb

Repeat yourself calmly and clearly until he just happens to realize you're correct. Whether any force powers are used is unstated and unimportant.
No. 1061400 ID: 96112b

If all else fails, force lift him by the neck and say "you would dare defy an Emperor's Hand?"
No. 1061509 ID: a7a180
File 168166038129.png - (15.57KB , 500x500 , trade_negotiations.png )

>lay the pizza on the ground and walk away
What kind of a power move is that?!

“Okay, fine. Guess you don’t really want this then.” You move to toss the pizza off into the open air behind you.
“Noooo my pizza!” The trooper whines, clutching for the box as you hold it out of reach. It’s downright pathetic how fast he gives up.
“Then pay me, or I’m feeding this pizza to the bottom dwellers.”
“Yes ma’am sorry ma’am!”
That was easy. Didn’t even have to Force the issue. That said, you bend down and look him in the eye.
“Repeat after me: I will be nicer to food service personnel.”
“I will be nicer to food service personnel…”
“And I will always tip for delivery.”
“...And I will always tip for delivery.”
“...Starting now.”
“Starting now… oh!” He finally remembers to dig out his wallet and pay you your credits, plus tip. You walk away feeling a mixture of vindication and disgust. Time to call Mr. Poof again.
“Sorry for hanging up on you earlier, sir. I’ve delivered the last pizza.”

:poofworry: …Okay. Well, good job, you made good time considering how chaotic things were this morning, so you’ve earned a break for thirty minutes. However, at the end of your break, I expect you back at the pizzeria to pick up more orders. And my car. Capische?

“Of course, sir!”

:poofworry: Okay, bye, pleasedon’tbreakmycar!

Looks like you’ll be busy on your break. You hop on the back of a passing truck to catch a ride back to the boss’s speeder. It’s still in one piece, which is a minor relief. You cycle the heat exchanger and cautiously putt back to the store. You arrive just in time to grab a slice (not one of the fancy ones) from behind the counter for an actual lunch. Poof has another stack of boxes piling up for the mid-afternoon rush.
“Okay, your next stop’s a big order from a tough customer. Please don’t tick this guy off… He’s known as Ol’ Peetsa the Hutt and he can be a very picky eater.” Poof brings up the order on his imagecaster, spoken by a very wide, jaundiced crime lord.
Mee naga k'wanna patogga, ree grancha. Dopa tee-tocky haba hagwa ocho myo pateesa, huh? Hoo hoo hoo.
“That was an order for five pies, I think. Peetsa lives under the entertainment district. The last guy I sent there stopped showing up to work afterward, but you’ll be fine, probably! Any questions?”
No. 1061513 ID: bc24cb

He's really picky about his orders AND Mr. Poof can't speak Hutt?

Can we ask for a translator?
No. 1061517 ID: e5709d

"On a scale of 'Baby Wookie' to 'Vader', how many mercenaries should I hire?
...What? Hutts tip extra well to survivors."
No. 1061523 ID: e51896

after doing some lurking, the best translation I can come up with the order was

"I want 5 pies, real large. Two times maybe don't ocho my friend, huh? hoo hoo hoo"

the only word I couldn't figure out was "ocho" whatever that means, so I'm not sure what Peetsa doesn't want us to do with his friend. if anyone wants to help figure that word out, go ahead. But he did say maybe, so...

Peetsa emphasized the pies being real large. so ask Mr. Poof if Peetsa wanted the pies extra large to make sure he didn't cook up 5 medium size pies instead of 5 large sized pies and get the order wrong.
No. 1061532 ID: 273c18

That "ree grancha" seems important.

Maybe ocho means don't screw up? Like don't screw up the order again?
No. 1061622 ID: 57df63

Maybe it's something along the lines of "Don't make me say it twice, my friend, huh?
No. 1061632 ID: a7a180
File 168178288296.png - (18.03KB , 500x500 , criminal_scum.png )

>How many mercenaries should you hire?
On what he's paying you? Zero.

>Ree grancha seems important
You hope it's not a topping, because these are all plain cheese. You don't have any granchas in the back.
“Are you sure this is a good idea? I don’t speak Huttese.”
“Neither do I, I used a translator! And in my experience, ignoring a Hutt is a worse idea. You gotta go.”
“Can I at least bring the translator?”
He clutches his datapad like his own child. “No way, this is my only one! …uh, not that I think you wouldn’t return it, if you could… Try to get him to call the store if he has any issues.”
“But who knows what could be waiting for me there?”
Poof gets a faraway stare. “Only what you take with you.”
Well, you’re taking pizza, so.

The Hutt’s address takes you between the neon and chrome facades of nightclubs and opera houses to what looks like an abandoned factory in the back alleys. The exterior doesn’t match the usual opulence of a Hutt’s lair, but the pig-faced Gamorrean posted at the door is a sure giveaway. He’s one ornery looking brute. He stands in front of the door when you attempt to walk past.
“No solicitors.”
“I’m not a solicitor, I’ve got a delivery for Peetsa the Hutt. It’s pizza.”
“No solicitors.” That’s a big word for a Gamorrean! He’s probably just repeating what he was told to say.
“I said, I’m not! Look at all these boxes I’m carrying! Weren’t you told to expect someone? ”
He shakes his head, starting to grip his weapon tightly.

>Bribe the guard with a slice
>Slap this fool out of your way
>use the Force
>Other: >_
No. 1061634 ID: 070c37

Call Mr. Poof to call Peetsa to call his guard to let you in to finish this pizza call.
No. 1061649 ID: bc24cb

Open a box! Maybe he doesn't know what pizza boxes are.

Give him a slice to remind him.
No. 1061652 ID: e5709d

Use your comm to record yourself giving the pizza to the guard, then send the video to the client.
Let's see how long it takes for the big lug to realize you just implicated him for stealing his boss' lunch.
Peetsa might not pay you, but you'll have the video as evidence that he owes your business a favor.
No. 1061660 ID: af8fe2

Let him get a quick whiff of the pizza smell, say it's for his boss.
No. 1061661 ID: 273c18

Yeah, this. Maybe we could even call him ourselves?
No. 1061677 ID: 513b5b

Force push him aside, but only while directly touching him so it looks like you shoved him. Make what might pass as "Move over, punk." in pig noises as you do.
No. 1061799 ID: a7a180
File 168204674566.png - (16.75KB , 500x500 , slicing_the_door.png )

>Have him call Poof
The guard doesn’t carry a comlink, and you’re certainly not giving him yours.
How can you get it through his thick skull that you’re supposed to be let in, and every second you don’t his boss gets madder? -Ah, that’s just it: You can’t. How could you be so naïve? You’re trying to reason with a Gamorrean. You need to appeal to baser instincts.
You open the top box to waft the heady scent of hot cheese toward him. Immediately his eyes fill with understanding, and greed. One slice is a small price to pay for entry into Peetsa’s hut. A little shuffling around, and they shouldn’t even notice the missing slice until you’re gone…
No. 1061802 ID: a7a180
File 168204694978.png - (16.78KB , 500x500 , the_big_cheese.png )

The interior of the factory is covered with ornate rugs and tacky decor to make it feel homely. A red carpet leads into the main factory floor turned throne room, dimly lit to try and obscure how dirty the place is. The only occupants are the Hutt, his scraggly looking pet, a Weequay enforcer standing on the dais next to him, and a group of thugs squatting in the corner. Peetsa sits on a bed of old pizza boxes, breathing heavily as he watches you enter. He must be in hiding or just not well off for a Hutt to be living in such squalid splendor.
Echuta, the big slug rumbles.
“What yousa want?” demands the Weequay.
“D-delivery. Five large cheese pizzas like you ordered, I think.”
Mee spee soong inkabunga. Whao doe grandio wermo noleeya doma…
“Yousa too slow. Peetsa not gonna pay for slow pizza.” His Weequay translator delivers this threat with a pizza-eating grin.
What! Sure, you needed a moment to find this dank hole in the ground, but you made good frelling time from the store to here! -Ah, he just wants any excuse to not pay. You’re starting to catch on. Well, if they don’t want to pay, fine. You’re not going to fight them about it. You would prefer to leave, right now if possible.
“...I’m sorry to hear that. We hope you enjoy the pizza. Please call our number if you’d like to complain. Thank you for ordering with Poof’s Pizza,” you say through gritted teeth. You put the stack of boxes down in front of the crime lord and quickly step back.
Before you reach the door however, Peetsa pipes up again. “Toma gee doe chidinkalu! Do nresh wink nop hari-kiree rok!” Uh oh. They’ve discovered the missing slice.
“Thief! Yousa think you stealin’ pizza from Peetsa?!”
Looks like you might have to fight them after all?

No. 1061803 ID: bc24cb

Run! Maybe the guard is still eating?
Shift the blame onto them instead!
No. 1061807 ID: e51896

Run away. If you're lucky, they'll see that the guard has the pizza, and then the pizza place won't have to worry about that guard keeping us from delivering pizza next time.
No. 1061810 ID: e51896

Wait, i notice someone frozen in carbonite in the background. We might need to save them. I don't think we can save them by running away, so ill change my vote to fight our way to save them and get out!
No. 1061815 ID: 273c18

>not giving him yours
What??? Nobody said to have the guard call someone!

>noticed missing slice, became hostile
THAT is EXACTLY why I didn't want to do that. Fuck this situation.
No. 1061820 ID: f2320a

Mention how his guard did not let us in until he snatched a slice from one of the boxes
No. 1061823 ID: a5f6c0

You didn't take it, his guard did :)
No. 1061833 ID: e5709d

"I thought this was a pizza party. Your guy outside demanded a slice."
No. 1061834 ID: d901ec

I support this.
"I had to bribe the guard with because wouldn't let me pass otherwise."
No. 1061838 ID: f5ac2b

No. 1061860 ID: be2ac4

OH hell no, this is fucking money. It's time to use the force.
No. 1061962 ID: a7a180
File 168226564291.png - (13.61KB , 500x500 , cant_we_talk_about_our_feelings.png )

You back up slowly, trying to make excuses for yourself as the thugs get up, grinning and flicking on their vibroknives.
“It wasn’t me who ate that slice, it was the galoot standing outside! He wouldn’t let me inside, you know? Someone really ought to have told him to expect me!”
You bump into a machine and realize: there’s no talking your way out. You remember something your master once told you: at times like these, when violence is inevitable, you must put aside your fears and fight.
You pull your lightsaber out and brandish it. “Stay back! You don’t want me to use this on you.”
The flash from your white-hot blade freezes the crowd in place until the lead thug breaks the spell. “Jedi! Grab her!”
The goons think they have the numbers to take you on, but what they lack is coordination and courage. You’re still very reluctant to use your saber on living beings, it’s messy and leaves very identifiable wounds. However, it’s very good at scaring away thugs when they try to get close. You use this to keep the others off you while you take them out one by one with sweeping kicks. You use your long reach to your advantage and slap one guy’s knife out of his hand, then turn and kick another thug who topples over the pizza boxes, scattering cheese and cardboard across the floor. The Hutt’s monkey-thing dives into the fracas trying to loot some of the delicious floor pizza, but in the chaos someone kicks him away into the shadows.
No. 1061963 ID: a7a180
File 168226565081.png - (17.76KB , 500x500 , pizza_partys_over.png )

You lead the last two on a chase into the abandoned machinery, clambering up and over the assembly lines to quickly flank them and kick one in the head. The last one pulls out a blaster and fires wildly, forcing you to take cover. You pick up a dusty box and throw it without looking at what’s inside. You miss, but it spills dozens of kids’ meal toys over the floor, creating a minefield of cheap plastic. He tries to flank you, but stubs his foot on a tiny Yoda and doubles over in pain. You call on unnatural speed once again to slice the gun in half and force push him across the room. Your heart is pounding in your chest as you realize, no one is left standing to fight you.
You announce to the room, “Okay. I’m leaving now, and if you even think about retaliation, remember: I know where you live.”
The Hutt is too inconsolate about his ruined pizza to respond. You walk outside to your speeder, past the confused glance of the door guard. Phew. Combat took a lot out of you. At least those lowlifes can’t go to the police, right? You wish you hadn’t broken that guy’s gun. You got caught up in feeling like a warrior again. You’re lucky to be alive right now… Okay, you’d better call Poof. You press the redial button, and-

:poofpanik: Jynn? I was just about to call you! This is bad, this is really bad!

“What? How did you know? I swear it’s not what it looks-”

:poofpanik: Somehow, Palpatine returned. With a new order! I need you to drop what you’re doing and pick it up right now!

“What? That’s - Why would the Emperor order out for pizza? This has got to be another prank call, right?”

:poofpanik: I don’t understand either, he was so unsatisfied with his last order he fried the delivery guy to a crisp! But we can’t say no to him... Hopefully you’ll do better?
No. 1061968 ID: bc24cb

This is obviously a prank call. Like, extremely obviously. Go answer it and be sure to remind Mr. Poof that he can't just assume someone's the emperor just because they say so.
No. 1061987 ID: e51896

It's probably a trap. Peetsa probably called the emperor after he discovered we were a jedi, and now the emperor wants to get rid of us personally after hearing there's a jedi in the pizza restaurant. we should probably quit.
No. 1061988 ID: 38349b

Calmly repeat that he was "burned to a crisp", ie, dead in a questioning way.

Upon hearing that again and realizing you're not crazy tell them that you quit because no, you are not delivering a pizza to someone known to kill people, not paid enough!

Though uh, what now?
No. 1062030 ID: e5709d

Did you start hallucinating again?
You probably made the wrong call. They can't do anything about you, but they have connections who they can blab to. Your cover might be blown if you can't find some way to 'convince' them that the 'Jedi' was just a scavenger with a dead knight's saber and some parlor trick tech to scare Empire-lovers off.

Deep breaths, Mr. Poof.
No. 1062069 ID: a7a180
File 168239090476.png - (15.60KB , 500x500 , i_thought_hed_be_taller.png )

“Burned to a crisp, you said.”

:poofworry: It was only hearsay! Not like I ever saw him again.

“Uh huh. You know this is obviously a prank call, right? You can’t assume someone’s the Emperor just because he says so.”

:Poofpanik: I swear, this is definitely real! I can show you the proof, just get back here quick!

“Alright Poof, deep breaths. I’m coming back.”

>It’s a trap! The emperor wants to get rid of us personally! We should just quit.
>Your cover might be blown
Oh no, oh no- No! Hold on! We can’t quit, it’s too soon! We just got this job, you can’t spend another month on the streets trying to find a new one right after this one fell into your lap! You’ve got bills to pay, and rent on a dingy little closet, and a ticket off this blasted rock to save up for! Get ahold of yourself - if the Hutt tries to take you down, he’s going down with you. No way he’s that crazy.
>They have connections who they can blab to…
…Mistakes may have been made. You’ll worry about it later.

You return to the pizzeria and Poof shows you the proof. First, he plays back the order. A grim specter stands shrouded in long robes, knobby hands clasped in front of him. The signal quality is distorted, but it definitely came from an holorecorder located inside the Imperial Palace.

:palpable: The duties of my office have left me drained and with munchies. I command you to bring a Naboo-style pizza with artichoke to my chambers on the west side of the Imperial Palace. Be there by 1700, sharp. You will make this delivery.

Something about his voice at the end reaches inside of you and grips your heart with an icy, cold fear. He doesn’t have to threaten you with punishment - your imagination fills in what could happen if you disobey. If that’s not the real Emperor, then you don’t know what is.

“See? I’m not joking. It even has his chain code attached to the order,” says Poof.
“...What is a chain code, anyway?” You never got one, and at this point you’ve been afraid to ask.
“Oh, it’s a system the Empire set up for tracking people’s activity. The code gives you a discount and rewards at Empire-approved food chains.”
He brings up a display of Palpatine’s chain code: ID number 00001. it consists of a holographic card with a picture of his face and a hole punched for each of his past orders. Two more orders, and he gets a free soda.

You throw your hands in the air. “Okay, so it’s real. Too bad! I quit. No way. I’m not paid enough to deliver pizza to someone who is going to kill me.”
You start to walk out, but Poof chases after you. “Wait! Alright alright, you’re right! You’re not being paid enough! Don’t walk out on me… Please? That will just get the emperor mad at both of us. …Tell ya what, if you walk in there, you can keep all the credits you walk out with. Deal?”
You consider the price of a specialty order. And the delivery fee to the senate district. And the tip. “…Deal. And I want hazard pay.”
Poof nods, relieved. “Consider it a signing-on bonus.”
As you turn away, you hear him sigh. “It’s so hard to find good help these days…”
No. 1062070 ID: a7a180
File 168239091014.png - (16.12KB , 500x500 , car_trouble_pt_2.png )

You package up the pizza. The pizza for Palpatine. The pizza Poof prepared particularly for Palpatine. Palpatine’s pizza. You place it in an insulated bag and you hop right onto the skyway.
...Aaaand immediately hit a traffic jam. There’s a huge line of speeders going all the way up to the next exit. Come on! How is it even backed up? We’re in a three dimensional lane for crying out loud! Craning your neck over the windshield to see the problem, the lane is standing still for further than you can see. Is it an accident? Construction? Just rush hour traffic? Whatever it is, it’s taking forever.
>Honk harder!
>Seek alternate route
>Attempt to cut the line
>Other: >_
No. 1062072 ID: e51896

Other. You're in a flying vehicle, right? take a risk and just fly off the route to your destination. Yeah it's illegal, but this is the emperor we're talking about.
No. 1062073 ID: bc24cb

Just fly outside the lanes. If anyone stops you tell them you're on direct orders from the Emperor.
No. 1062075 ID: 273c18

Maybe you can call the non-emergency stormtrooper line and ask for an escort so you can fly outside the lanes legally? You've got what seems to be a legitimate order by the Emperor, so they can get you there with no problems whatsoever.
No. 1062076 ID: 3f43f7

You know something, this could be a good idea, if the stormtroopers send the pizza in without us, we won't have to meet the Emperor
No. 1062100 ID: 87e33c

I like this idea a lot
No. 1062103 ID: e51896

Yeah, see if this works. otherwise, if they won't for some stupid reason, just fly out of the lanes like originally planned
No. 1062109 ID: fca1c9

Wait, before you call the stormtroopers for help, put on your fake mustache disguise

Knowing our luck, we might end up with that same stormtrooper we threatened the pizza over, and he could give us a hard time if he recognizes us.

Also, our face was on a carton earlier in the previous thread. The empeor might recognize us as that person if we go there undisguised
No. 1062167 ID: a7a180
File 168256064676.png - (17.36KB , 500x500 , buckle_up_its_the_law.png )

>Call for an escort
If this truly is a pizza fit for an emperor, surely the Empire will make sure nothing and no one gets in the way of its delivery. You never thought you’d be one to call this number, but you dial the security helpline frequency listed on every propaganda billboard, usually alongside a picture of a shining armored enforcer of the peace.
>Wait, before you call the stormtroopers for help, put on your fake mustache
Oh, whoops! Almost forgot! You quickly apply it while the comlink is dialing.
The operator that picks up sounds friendly and cheerful. “COMPNOR security hotline! How may I be of service?
“Yeah, is this the right number for-”
Please hold!” You’re left on hold for a minute listening to the jauntier version of the imperial march. The jam only moves a few inches in the meantime.
-Thank you for waiting! How may I be of service?
“Yeah, is this the right number for… requesting an escort? I’m delivering a pizza for Emperor Palpatine, but traffic’s backed up for what looks like hours. Could you send someone to clear the way? I’m on the eastbound 10… skyway.”
There’s a concerning pause before she answers. “...Really? An escort for pizza delivery.” The friendliness drains away in an instant, replaced by jaded incredulity.
“Well, it’s for the Emperor!” you protest.
Uh huh, sure it is.
“I can prove it! His chain code was attached to the order…”
Riiiight. Number 00001? Gee, that’s correct! What a lucky guess. Please. You’re not the only farrik who thinks he’s clever and wants to abuse Imperial resources for ‘official business.’ Now stop wasting my time.
“Excuse me? You know, if the Emperor hears this is the response I got when asking for help with-!”
She interrupts your angry comeback. “Well gee, if you really are delivering for the Emperor, why don’t you call him up for help? Bye!click.
Why that - Maybe you will! …The number doesn’t answer when you call him back. Blast.
Well sod it, if they aren’t going to help you solve this gridlock then you’ll solve it yourself! You disengage the altitude stabilizer and forge your own path through the skyways.
You quickly learn that the grid lanes are there for a reason. Traffic bears down on you from every direction, screaming past your head with very little warning! Only your Force-sensitive reflexes are able to save you from more than a couple T-bones, sidewinders and head-on collisions with other drivers. A chorus of screeching horns follows in your wake.
Hey you! Pull over!
Oh dear. A trooper with police lights blaring starts to give chase. His speederbike quickly closes the distance with your beat-up pizzamobile, and he’s gaining fast. You don’t think he’s going to buy the Emperor excuse any better! Panicking, you punch the thrusters to maximum and try to squeeze down the gap between two oncoming lanes.
Central, this is Echo niner, we have a code skipray. Suspect is in a red delivery speeder heading east, requesting backup in sector - Aaagh!” His report on your whereabouts is cut short by a high speed collision with the side of a waste transport, scattering bits of his speeder in all directions.
Well, that model always was a deathtrap… This is going to look really bad if Poof hears about this. You merge back into traffic and try to act natural. No other sirens start chasing you, so you think you’re safe for the moment. Hopefully, they don’t trace this back to you.
No. 1062168 ID: a7a180
File 168256065147.png - (15.69KB , 500x500 , is_there_a_problem_officer.png )

With the traffic jam behind you, you put a little extra weight on the gas and reach the turnoff for the imperial palace in good time. There’s a security checkpoint for all incoming traffic that forces you to stop for inspection. Wanted posters for Jedi and dissidents are posted on the outside of the guard booth.
“Greetings! Spiffing afternoon, isn’t it?”
Oh blitznak, you recognize this guy from your last job. Hopefully he doesn’t recognize you.
“Uhh, yyep, sure is!”
“No need to be nervous, old chap! This is just standard security procedure. Right then, what’s the reason for your visit today?”
“Uhh… pizza delivery.”
“Pizza, eh? I suppose I’m getting a smidge hungry myself, haha! ID and registration please.”
Uh oh. You got your old job precisely because it didn’t ask too many questions about your background. You really should have remembered to get a fake ID in the intervening years, but you… forgot.
“Uh, yeah, yeah, let me just get those out of my…” Wait, the glovebox had the right sorts of papers in it! You could try showing them Poof’s picture. With the fake mustache on, your face sort of looks like his. “...passenger side!.” You reach over and pass Poof’s papers to the officer.
He looks between you and the photo ID with a thoughtful expression and you feel another panic attack coming on. “I say… are xextos and quermians related?”
“Um, yes? Whyy do you ask?” It’s getting hot in here, maybe you should turn up the fan.
“Ah, that would explain how you both grow such tip top ‘tashes!” Oh thank the Force, he doesn’t recognize you after all. Probably.
He waves the cards over a scanner that prints out a ticket, then hands back the lot to you.
“Here you are, sir, just have to run this license number through our system and then you’ll be on your way…“
Oh no! What if his search turns up the speeding violation you just committed? You’ve got to do something right now before he makes that search!

>Distract him
>Gun it through the checkpoint!
>Mind trick
>Other: >_
No. 1062170 ID: 7173eb

You should be fine, they didnt report your license plate before they crashed, just let him do his thing.
No. 1062171 ID: e5709d

"I bet you twenty bucks you can't guess who this delivery is for."
No. 1062174 ID: 273c18

Distract him by showing him the video of the Emperor's order.
No. 1062176 ID: e51896

Actually, that could work if he's working for the emperor. He'll know how important this is and let us through.
No. 1062181 ID: 5d12b1

Just go, he gave you everything you needed back already.
No. 1062189 ID: 664e6c

Distract him using the most powerful of mind tricks. Show him (but not us) your tits, and then leave at top speed.
No. 1062482 ID: a7a180
File 168297987591.png - (13.69KB , 500x500 , just_as_planned.png )

>Namedrop the Emperor
Sure, that didn’t work at all the last time you tried it, but if at first you don’t succeed, hey?
“Excuse me, sir!” He sits up and turns away from the terminal to look at you. “I don’t mean to rush you, but this delivery…” You straighten out, then lean over to whisper directly in his ear. “It’s for a certain Emperor Palpatine, all right?”
He bolts upright. “Oh! the Emperor himself!”
“Yes, and he’d like it as hot and fresh as possible so can you just, wave me through?”
“But of course. I’m sure a fine, upstanding civil servant like yourself isn’t on any watchlists or wanted for any recent crimes against the Empire, right?”
“Of course not! The Emperor himself trusts you with his dinner, so I ought to as well! Right then, off you go. I’ll phone ahead to let him know you’re on your way!”
…Wait, that actually worked? He just… He just let you through, like that.

You’ve got a bad feeling about this…
No. 1062483 ID: a7a180
File 168297988121.png - (14.68KB , 500x500 , nobodys_home.png )

You find a place to park by the west wing and hesitate. You’re not usually supposed to go in, but nobody’s coming out to meet you. It’s a really big palace, so maybe he doesn’t feel like legging it all that way. You’re not exactly sure what the protocol is on this one. …You decide to quit wasting time and go inside to deliver it. Personally, if you have to. Why are you doing this, again?
You enter through a side door and go looking for the emperor’s chambers, or perhaps the throne room if that’s where takes his meals. You try to find someone to ask for directions, but not a soul besides you seems to be wandering these hallways. It’s very unnerving.
…Well, you’re completely lost now.
No. 1062486 ID: bc24cb

Oh no. It's a terrifying endless maze.
Hug the left wall and you might find the exit.

Here's hoping it's not the non-euclidian nightmare sort of maze!
No. 1062493 ID: be2ac4

No. 1062508 ID: e9415c

>…Wait, that actually worked? He just… He just let you through, like that.
the bitchin stache is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural.
No. 1062510 ID: 4314ed

This is either going great, or horribly.
No. 1062511 ID: 273c18

Straight. Stands to reason the throne room is in the center, right?
No. 1062515 ID: fd1977

Straight on
No. 1062553 ID: 447081

Go left.
No. 1062600 ID: 4753b2

Use the force to sense the biggest amount of old fogey dark side and go there.
No. 1062665 ID: a7a180
File 168317135786.png - (113.99KB , 500x500 , the_good_old_days.png )

Guess you’ll just hug the left wall until something happens. As you walk, the feeling of wrongness grows, like… something’s missing from this place. Life, perhaps. Yes, but not in the sense of soulless, oppressive architecture like the Empire loves to build, but like the life was stripped away from it. There should be more than the occasional imperial banner hanging from the wall, there should be… statues, and people, walking around.
That’s when it hits you. You’ve been here before, in a happier time. You don’t know how you didn’t recognize it sooner. Frelling heck, this is the Jedi temple. What a sick joke!
You know where you are now. You’re just around the corner from the grand archives. You decide to have a look inside, for old times’ sake. No signs are left of the slaughter that took place here. The shelves are still intact, though some of the holo-archives have been replaced with newer models which stick out. You remember being here, tucked into an obscure corner of the archives…

You’re doing some late night reading, by your lonesome as usual. You hope your master will come home soon. Suddenly, you hear a commotion. It’s usually just you and the librarians this late at night. A group of younglings walks past the aisle, shepherded by one of the junior archivists. She spots you and tells you to come quickly in a harsh whisper. You start to ask what’s happening, but she shushes you.
“You all need to evacuate, quickly. There’s a hidden door behind the bookshelves, I’ll show you. Once you’re down the ladder, stay together and get away as fast as you can.” She pulls a secret lever and a bookcase opens inward to reveal a ladder going down. The sounds of blaster fire are getting louder. One by one the padawans climb down. They’re scared. As the oldest, you’re the last one to go down. The librarian stops you.
“Tala, close the door behind you.”
“Why? Aren’t you coming?”
She ignores the question. “I’ll buy you as much time as I can. Now go!”
You don’t know what’s going on, but the look of fear in her eyes, you’ll never forget.

No. 1062666 ID: a7a180
File 168317136393.png - (142.90KB , 500x500 , world_1-2.png )

You close the door and descend into darkness. The ladder stretches on for what seems like hundreds of feet. The slow pace of the padawans below you leads to more than one kicked head. When you finally reach the bottom, your senses are assaulted by the musty sewer. There are less than a dozen of you here, some having already run off by themselves. They don’t believe you when you say the librarian isn’t coming. Loud explosions are heard from above, scaring the younglings. Reluctantly, you start down one of the tunnels, flinching at the sounds of vermin scuttling in the shadows. You haven’t gone far enough when you hear the sounds of heavy thumping echo off the walls. You aren’t alone anymore.
“Spread out and secure the tunnels! Let none escape!” That sounds like- clones? Why are they after you? You can’t tell which direction they came from. Fear clouds your mind, and everyone takes off running.

No. 1062667 ID: a7a180
File 168317136783.png - (152.89KB , 500x500 , thats_not_a_toy.png )

It’s total chaos, the sound of shouting, shooting, screaming. You get separated from the group, you’re not sure how. There’s no choice but to keep going, to save yourself. Your lightsaber clatters at your hip. You’ve never used it in self defense before, your trials were only just beginning. You hope today won’t be one of them.
The sounds of battle grow quiet compared to your own heavy breathing. Maybe you’ve outpaced them for now. You just need a moment to catch your breath, maybe figure out where you are. You don’t get one. A clone turns the corner, nearly walking right into you.
“Stop right there!”
You reflexively take a step back and brandish your lightsaber. However, in your moment of panic you forgot to turn it on. The clone trooper seizes the initiative to try and wrestle it away. “Drop the weapon!”
“No! Stay away from me!”
He’s stronger than you, but you have more arms and a reach advantage. The struggle over the lightsaber goes back and forth. You’re not sure how it happened, or which one of you did it, but in the confusion the activation switch gets flicked.

No. 1062668 ID: a7a180
File 168317137354.png - (182.18KB , 500x500 , high_yield_face_removal.png )



No. 1062669 ID: a7a180
File 168317137984.png - (15.87KB , 500x500 , you_ok_there_jynn.png )

You’ve got to get out of here.
No. 1062670 ID: bc24cb

Great idea! You should leave this place immediately!
You hugged the left wall to get in, just turn around and hug the right wall to get out! ..right?
No. 1062672 ID: bcb93c

Oops, you dropped the pizza. Well, even if you didnt want to leave, you got no choice but to leave now. It belongs to the mouse droids now.

Take the secret passage again through the bookshelf like you did years ago. That way we wont run into anyone if we turn back.
No. 1062673 ID: e5709d

In retrospect, you and Poof should have given Palpatine the option to order an extra-strength, antivenom-equipped pizza box.
Stupendous. Now he's going to get a quadruple refund if he doesn't literally slaughter you first.
...Wait, does Palpatine still have enough functioning taste buds to tell that the pizza was dropped on the floor?
Quick, scoop the pizza back into the box, move a few extra yards to get away from the stain, then drop the pizza box on the floor and drag your feet into a corridor. Make it look like some raunchy Inquisitor kidnapped the pizza girl for some one-on-one sausage cutting. Then get to the secret exit and skedaddle.
No. 1062677 ID: 273c18

Yeah, use the secret passage.
No. 1062678 ID: 273c18

Also call your boss to warn him that you used his ID at the checkpoint so the Emperor might think he was the one delivering the pizza.
No. 1062710 ID: a7a180
File 168325208480.png - (18.06KB , 500x500 , nobody_expects_the_inquisition.png )

>Walk off the job
Stang the emperor, stang the pizza, you’re getting the fierfek out of here. You’re in over your head, you need to warn Poof, tell him you’re - Hey, wasn’t there-

“Going somewhere?”
Your thoughts are interrupted by a woman in a white imperial mantle backed by a dozen stormtroopers. You just about manage to not scream in fright.
“Ohoho! It’s so cute when Jedi try to be sneaky. You thought seeking an audience with the Emperor himself would be as easy as waltzing in here dressed as a delivery courier, master Poof?”
You resist the urge to point out that’s exactly how easy it was… and you’re not- ohh, that’s why it sounded familiar. He looks so different from how you remember!
The woman struts back and forth, delighting in her monologue. “I've been waiting for this moment. Our eyes and ears are everywhere. We’ve known there was going to be a plot today for quite some time. We decided to lie back and let you play right into our hands, and here you are, right on schedule! Thanks for saving us a trip.”

Your eyes dart toward the shelves. Maybe you can still lose them.

“Thinking of escaping out the back door? Mm, I’m afraid it won’t work. Trust me, I tried doing that once - and I was still caught.”
No. 1062711 ID: 273c18

Huh, so... trying to run wasn't the only option? Despite the pizza being on the floor? And trying to leave didn't actually do anything?

Tell them you're not Poof. That should be obvious by the fact that you're female, and you have no mustache. Also you were shown a video for the Emperor's pizza order so you... don't know how this wasn't a legitimate delivery? You uh, dropped the pizza though. Sorry.
No. 1062714 ID: d468a7

Call her racist for thinking all xextos look the same and mistaking you for Poof.
No. 1062718 ID: e5709d

Two heartbeats and then rip your moustache off.
"Okay, screw this, screw my immigration officer, and screw my boss' immigration officer, are those @#$%-faces seriously giving us migrants identities based on famous terrorists?! I only came to this miserable planet because my ex-girlfriend roped me into living with her, and then I had to get a miserable burger job when she dumped me, and then I lost my 'chipped' faulty ID card just before I could find a new job after getting laid off and then I had to borrow my new boss' ID just to use his speedster on near impossible deliveries, and now I find out that his ID was somehow laced with the biometrics of some long-dead, mass-murdering Jedi! You know what, screw it, arrest me. I will do whatever it takes to sue the pants off everyone who was involved in @#$%ing us foreigners in the ass! Sometimes literally without our consent I mean this girl!"
No. 1062722 ID: bc24cb

Is that a light WHIP?
No. 1062731 ID: 85b96f

Dude we fr actually a pizzagirl. Can you do us a solid and pretend you didn't see us drop the order right on the floor? nice whip.
No. 1062746 ID: ffa1c0

Wait, she said there was a plot *today* so... were we just used by assassins as a red herring? Seems like the chain code is an open secret and if the message was falsified... Oh the imperial inquisition is going to feel so silly when the actual plot goes off. So... oh hell, do we have to *save* the emperor to establish innocence?
No. 1062764 ID: 85b96f

shit i think you're right. Is there a way to bring up that point without making Jynn look sus af? "Legit here for a regular pizza delivery order, not an assassin or terrorist, ~this is not the 'plot' you're looking for~." or something like that?
No. 1062767 ID: 8f9bc4

Poof is a Jedi? You didn't know he was a Jedi! How does he run an Empire approved pizzeria if he's a Jedi? You didn't know about any plot! Wait, was the plot just to deliver a pizza to the Emperor? Is she just saying she's here to pick up the pizza, and she has a habit of phrasing everything like it's a terrorist plot? Oh shit, you dropped the pizza! He's gonna incinerate you!
No. 1062834 ID: 3b86e0

Didn't esca...?

Oh, it's Ma'karena! Hi, Ma'karena, it's been so lo-!

No, wait, if she recognizes us she will sell us out as a jedi!
Let's take off the fake moustache and Tell her Poof is just the name of the pizzeria and you wear the moustache for publicity.
No. 1062965 ID: a7a180
File 168349879022.png - (17.96KB , 500x500 , sith_hits_the_fan.png )

>Is this a fancy way to get the pizza?
You don’t think she’s here to pick up the pizza.
>Nice whip!
It is! You kind of wish it wasn’t being waved in your face!

>Protest your identity
“Wait, wait! I’m not Poof! I’m not Poof!”
She raises a single eyebrow at your feminine voice. “Then who are you?”
Good question. You don’t really have a better name to put forward - just a flimsy assumed one, and a wanted ex-padawan’s… wait a tick. She said she tried escaping once. You know this woman.
Her eyes narrow. “You’re not Zena. How do you know that name?”
“You were one of the younglings, in the library. It’s me, Tala Karaay! Do you remember? I was there too!”
Your plea stirs something deep inside her, and she loses her composure. “...T-Tala? You- actually did escape?”

There’s something else about what she said that’s odd. They knew in advance, before today? You didn’t plan anything that far ahead.
>...Were we just used by assassins as a red herring?
Before either of you can process what’s been said, a familiar farghul sucker punches Zena. “Hi-yah!”
No. 1062966 ID: a7a180
File 168349879455.png - (18.65KB , 500x500 , wild_weasel.png )

The troopers shout in alarm before he knocks them all down with just a sweep of his arm. You get a good look as he bounces on his heels, ready to fistfight a dozen goons at once. This has to be the same guy you served a kids' meal to. Why is he attacking a fellow officer? He's Force user, too?

Another figure runs up and pulls you to your feet. She lifts her hood to reveal a scarred but chipper face. “Hiya. you’re the pizza guy, aren’t you? Good, we need to leave. You’re parked on the west side, right?” Her voice sounds gravelly, just like Palpatine's.
“...What? How do you know that?”
“Oh, we faked a call for pizza from the Emperor so we’d have an escape route. You’re our getaway vehicle!” A large boom echoes through the halls of the palace. “Did I mention we need to leave now?”

...You have no idea what's going on.
No. 1062967 ID: e5709d

Hallucination Nation
Just roll with it. And take Zena with you, she knows your identities!
No. 1062969 ID: be2ac4

Leave now? Sounds great! :)
No. 1062970 ID: e51896

Ask "what about Zena?"

i know we'll have to leave her behind as she joined the dark side, but it's in character to show concern for her.
No. 1062971 ID: 8f9bc4

Oh god Puff's speeder is a piece of junk it's gonna overheat and you'll all get incinerated not by Puff's speeder, but by the Emperor himself!

Make a hasty but careful getaway, and be sure not to accelerate upwards too quickly.
No. 1062975 ID: 273c18

Tell them there might be trouble, you were at a checkpoint and told them about the delivery, so they called ahead...
Also ask them to capture the whip user if possible. You think she can be redeemed.
No. 1062984 ID: bc24cb

We kinda have to kidnap Zena now that she knows your identity. Ooops! Haha, silly mistakes.
No. 1063027 ID: 85b96f

oh man you guys suck. Thanks for not leaving your innocent pizza dupe to high fry on the zero-chill imperial grill but seriously fuck you and the other cat you rode in on. But apparently that's also too much credit since you're relying on the fast food delivery drone for the getaway ride like WHAT the FUCK you're the worst terrorists.
No. 1063036 ID: 85b96f

Also your big bro gave that Zena chick a haymaker right in her sith tit, we were having a (threatening) conversation and you know that's really messed up to just do randomly to someone. That shit hurts dude and what if she's got like a pulmonary contusion or something now? Was he posing as an MP cop or something because it looks like he got way too into fucking character IMPERIAL BRUTALITY. Furthermore,,,
No. 1063217 ID: a7a180
File 168368015507.png - (16.32KB , 500x500 , think_shell_hold_a_grudge.png )

“Thanks for saving me, but this was a terrible plan!“
“It’s brilliant! Nobody saw it coming, not even you, which kept our real plan a surprise. Craig came up with it!”
“Oh, Crea’aa- Crag- um-” Her attempt to pronounce an exotic alien name ends in her hacking and coughing. “We just call him Craig. I’m Chiva, and that’s Mika! Don’t worry, he’s on our side now.” While you were talking, Mika’s punched all of the stormtroopers into one big heap. He dusts his hands off before giving you two a thumbs up.
“Well, I told their security I was coming, because I thought this was a legitimate delivery, so we might be in trouble.”
Chiva gives a hoarse laugh. “I’ll say. What do you call this?”
“The second worst day of my life!”

Oh, you almost forgot. Zena! “What about her? We should take her with us because, um, she knows our identities now.” You turn around to carry Zena, but she’s already getting up, and boiling with rage.
Her words are like a stab to your chest. “You… cheaters! Deserters! I’ll finish what the emperor started!”
No. 1063218 ID: a7a180
File 168368017262.png - (17.05KB , 500x500 , bad_news_everyone.png )

“The west side exit is this way. Go!” shouts Chiva.
You beat feet out of there. In the hall you run into a serpentine Sluissi waiting expectantly. Chiva makes brief introductions.
“That’s Craig. Craig, meet…”
“T- Jynn.” You’re not comfortable using your real name around strangers…
“Welcome aboard, Jynn.” She turns back to Craig. “So, did it work?”
He nods and holds up a datapad. [It worked! The Telescopic Force Array is no more. I’ve suppressed the alarms temporarily, that should buy us some time.] A siren starts blaring loudly. He looks up and shrugs.
Security starts pouring into the empty halls as you run for your lives. You find your route cut off by more stormtrooper reinforcements. How do you get by?

>Fight through
>Find another route
>Call on the Force
No. 1063220 ID: 273c18

>Call on the Force
We're among Jedis. This is the MOST APPROPRIATE time to do it.
No. 1063221 ID: be2ac4

Lets call on the force, surely we aren't too worried about the inquisitor by this point I don't think
No. 1063278 ID: bc24cb

Don't worry about not using your true name.
They probably aren't either. They still think you're just a pizza delivery girl!
No. 1063283 ID: 8f9bc4

By Call on the Force do you mean like a Force Push, or do you mean that thing that makes all stormtroopers really bad shots? The latter might be really useful about now!
No. 1063309 ID: 85b96f

are we really though? For real really? we're really calling these clowns jedi for real? Because they can totally handle more stormtroopers if they're for real really jedi. and if not, we should still have jynn keep Force usage in her back pocket and just look for a different route, keep things as low-key as possible unless there's no other choice. Zena will sound like a concussed lunatic if she insists to her superiors that the useless pizzagirl strongarmed by the terrorists (who zena failed to find, and prevent from doing Whatever They Did) for a getaway in an incredibly shitty pizza speeder was actually a long-lost jedi survivor from her padawan cohort. or maybe not. But still, jynn could possibly maybe might conceivably get away from this with very little heat besides a humiliated sith schoolmate who goes down a bit too easy to a sucker punch.
No. 1063337 ID: e5709d

You need to warn Mr. Poof. They will investigate him after this, and they'll do it soon. Text him now; they'll be listening but they can't react fast enough to stop a speeding Quermian:
"I'm sorry. The Resistance made a fake delivery as a distraction. The Inquisitor got angry and accused us of being Jedi. Run."
No. 1063512 ID: a7a180
File 168385115191.png - (18.90KB , 500x500 , villainous_voyeur.png )

>You’re among J-
>are we really calling these clowns Jedi?
Well, Chiva’s got the signature braid of a padawan. The fact she’s still wearing it is either a bold statement or a remarkable oversight. Mika doesn’t dress the part, but he certainly fights like one. If they can use the Force and they’re being hunted by the Empire, you figure they’ve got as much claim to the title as you do.
>Anyway, use the Force
You take a breath and try to focus. You wish you were literally anywhere else right now - and the Force obliges. You find yourself looking at your reflection, several meters down the hall. She’s just as confused as you are. You look down at your hands and find it difficult to focus on them, your attention being drawn to the floor or walls instead. The others are mirrored in similar fashion, just in time for the reinforcements to arrive. Their squad leader points menacingly down the hall.
“There they are! After them!“
The stormtroopers run right past you like you don’t even exist. Good, let them keep thinking that. You motion for everybody to stay quiet and follow you. The doppelgangers mirror your sprint but run in the opposite direction, and the troopers give chase. You’ve got almost a straight shot to the exit.
Alas, just a few doors down from freedom, another squad of Coruscant’s finest comes marching past, and you flatten against the wall to let them pass. There’s quite a lot of them. They must have rallied every soldier in the garrison to the palace. …Really, this just seems excessive for four intruders. You’re starting to get nervous that one of these guys will march right into you. You decide to duck through a door to avoid catching a stray gunbarrel to the face. As the first one in, you scan the room and freeze. You are in a dimly lit, carpeted room. You see a coffee table, a stack of old pizza boxes, and an old man half asleep in front of a holovision drama.

“Hmm… *snore*…”
You’ve said enough, Lance! You killed my husband!
No, Janice - I AM your husband!
W-what? …That’s not true! That’s impossible!
Search your heart, you know it to be true!
…Oh, Lance!
Oh, Janice…

Oh, blitznak.
The Emperor is right there. Really real, for real this time.
“…Hm? Wuzzat?”
-Oh, did you swear that out loud? Oops. Whatever power is keeping you hidden, you desperately will it to work harder.
“Mm… what’s all that noise? Did that damn senator’s kid pull the fire alarm again? Little brat. She always does this during my shows!
Hold on, is someone there? I sense a disturbance in the Force… Is that you, Vader? No, I’d hear him chugging along like a choo-choo train. It’s polite to knock first, you know.”

>get the hell out of there
>get the frell out of there
>get the phanx out of there
No. 1063515 ID: e5709d

...His reflexes will prevent you from using a traditional lightsaber backstab.
Calmly and gently feed the pizza leftovers into his face. Talk about how you made imitation Mon Calamari from the ground remains of live Bothans.
Lightly jostle his chest cavity so it feeds into his lungs.
Continue doing this and make the most powerful tyrant in the galaxy die suffocating on a pizza.
No. 1063517 ID: 273c18

"Sorry, wrong door."
>get the phanx out of there
No. 1063518 ID: 708905

>get the frell out of there
No. 1063618 ID: 8f9bc4

Hell is too derivative. I'm thinking phanx, but frell has a nice ring to it. Yes, frell. Definitely go with frell.
No. 1063647 ID: 3b86e0

This old coot is the source of all your woes. You can't just leave unpunished.

Shiv him with your lightsaber, break his TV, steal pizza, tattle tale to Vader that he called him a choo choo train.
At least whisper in his ear that Star Trek is better.
No. 1063790 ID: a7a180
File 168409234641.png - (17.96KB , 500x500 , lap_2.png )

>Just get out of there!
You backpedal hard and bump into Mika behind you. He points behind you and shrugs, as if to ask what’s in there. You make a slicing motion and wave him away, as if to say they really shouldn’t go in there. He gives you a quizzical look that says ‘why not?’, until looking over your shoulder he spots the back of the emperor’s hood. Mika starts forward with his arms outstretched and it takes both you and Chiva to drag him away from the door. Mika breaks the silence, protesting, “Oh come on, he’s right there!”
“Exactly! Now run!”
People nearby are starting to wonder where your voices are coming from, so now you prioritise speed over stealth. You divert your willpower from cloaking to speeding you up, and you run. You run for your lives. You run past stormtroopers so fast that the nearest ones are bowled over, sending the snap shots of the men standing behind them wildly into the ceiling. The rebels in your jetstream start to lag behind, so you grab them each with an arm and drag them along Force knows how with you. You blow the doors off the exit and tumble to a stop next to Poof’s worn out speeder, tossing them aboard like pizzas and hopping into the driver’s seat. The engines roar like an angry rancor as you punch it out of there.
You shoot past the security booth and gun it into the oncoming lane of traffic once again. The sounds of sirens are keeping pace with you, even with so many breaking off pursuit or crashing there’s just too many of them. The speeder shakes like it’s going to fall apart. You pray for it to hold together for just one more light…
Your focus strays from the road for just a microsecond until Chiva yells to watch out. A tractored trailer is driving across the next intersection, and you’re barreling straight for it! The overworked, overloaded speeder is too heavy and going too fast to turn out of the way or slow down in time.

Only one choice left: How badass do you want this escape to be?
No. 1063792 ID: 1ed92d

Extra badass.
No. 1063795 ID: 6b0eab

So badass, that the author will have to pay the artist extra money to make it super badass

Or we can just make it regular extra badass
No. 1063797 ID: e5709d

No. 1063808 ID: e9415c

Yeah hi can i get a deluxe neatlover's badass with extra blockbuster and uhh add a pineapple topping. And uhhh does that come with free cheesesticks?
No. 1063814 ID: 8f9bc4


Pepperoni badass with extra cheese.
No. 1063834 ID: 64d61f

So badass you have no idea. They'll need a new word for how badass this escape is, something like evil-ass, because badass just won't -

Oh wait the speeder is going to blow up.
Badass escape on hold until we're pretty sure that won't happen or the badass rating is going to be absolute zero.
No. 1063915 ID: a7a180
File 168429007759.png - (17.71KB , 500x500 , not_a_happy_landing.png )

>Pepperoni badass with extra cheese
Given that down is the direction the speeder is currently most inclined to go, you jam the wheel forward and attempt to dive under the trailer.
“Everyone, duck!” You tuck your excessively long neck between your legs and pray the last thing you see is not the stains on the upholstery. Your stomach lurches from the negative gees as the speeder accelerates downward. Time decelerates as you blindly await judgment. There’s no way you’re poking your head up to check if you’ve passed the truck yet. How will you know that, come to think of it?
Your question is answered by a shriek of metal on metal and a sudden rush of air as the speeder clips the underside of the truck, tearing off your primary engine. With its decorative rocket fins no longer even pretending to offer stability, the craft veers wildly left and right. You wrestle with the controls to keep the nose up as you desperately look for a safe place to land.
Mika taps you on the shoulder. “Jynn, your hair’s on fire.”
What? You look behind you to see your ponytail has ignited off the flames shooting out the back of the speeder from damaged fuel lines.
“That’s really bad!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll put you out. Just keep driving.” Mika grabs your ponytail to extinguish it and your head is pulled back as you protest.
“Ack! Stop! Let go!” He lets go and your head nearly rebounds into the windshield. “The flames mean it’s about to explode! Do you understand? We’re gonna have to jump!”
“Okay. When?”
“Now!” You bail out over the side, and Chiva, Craig and Mika are quick to follow.
The speeder explodes in a fireball behind you as you freefall through Coruscant traffic. You brace for imminent impact, and hear a loud bang as you collide with something- soft.
Somehow, you’ve landed on a giant inflatable Zillo beast. The bang and subsequent hiss was the air escaping after your high-speed impact. You can hardly believe your luck.
“I… I made it?”
“We all made it!” Chiva says, popping up nearby. Craig too, gives a thumbs up from the maw of the beast. All except for Mika, who lands with a terrifying thud facedown on the plascrete. A torn banner for the Empire Day parade flutters down, which would explain the balloon.
You think he might actually be dead until he peels his face off the pavement. In a dazed voice, he announces, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, cats always… land on their feet.” He shakes the plascrete dust out of his hair and just walks it off like it was nothing.
After a quick pinch assures you you’re not dreaming, you slide down and disappear into the crowd assembled for the parade.
No. 1063916 ID: a7a180
File 168429008645.png - (14.42KB , 500x500 , come_fly_with_us.png )

You make your way on foot towards the spaceport where Chiva says they have a ship waiting.

“I have to say, Jynn, you got us out of a really tough situation. You went above and beyond what could be asked of any deliverywoman.”
“Oh, uh, thanks. I was just doing what I could to survive the life-threatening situation you put me in.”
“Right... Sorry about that, I did not foresee so many complications to the plan. Few people have faced down an inquisitor and lived to tell about it, let alone those falsely accused of being Jedi.”
“Ah, about that… she wasn’t quite as wrong as you think. I used to be a padawan, myself.”
Chiva’s ears perk up. “Oh, really? Perhaps it was destiny that we met. I formed this group of Force sensitives to fight the Empire in any way we could. We could really use another member, especially one with your driving skills.”
“...You mean, to be your getaway driver? And do all of this on a regular basis?”
“It’s usually much less hairy, I promise.”
Another offer of recruitment, so soon? You haven’t even quit your last job yet. Speaking of which. “...I’ll have to think about it. But first, I’ve got to make a call.” You ring up Mr. Poof one last time.

:poofworry: Oh, Jynn, it’s you. Everything went well, then?

“Well… not exactly. It was another prank call.”

:poofworry: Oh.

“…And Jynn may not, technically speaking, be my legal name, so I may have given them your ID at the door instead. Which got me chased out of there by a lot of stormtroopers, and an inquisition lady…”

:poofworry: Oh…

“And I might have gotten tangled up in a rebel plot when they saved me from said inquisition lady. And then, crashed your speeder in the getaway. Sorry.”

:poofworry: oh.

“So yeah, I know I’m probably fired.”

:poofworry: …I admit, I recognized you the moment you walked in the door. I’m just glad you’re safe. But yeah, I’d definitely have to fire you if I wasn’t closing my business and going into hiding, again, for a long, long time. Those rebels sound like they have your back. Good luck out there, kid.

“...Thank you, Master.”

You pocket the commlink and watch Chiva board her ship. Is that a Gthroc 720? How’d a bunch of fugitives afford a ship this nice? She stops halfway up the ramp and turns back to you.
“So, want to ditch this planet and come with us?”
No. 1063917 ID: a7a180
File 168429009487.png - (11.87KB , 500x500 , jynn-uine_smile.png )

“…Yeah. Yeah, I think I will.”
No. 1063918 ID: a7a180
File 168429010513.png - (123.72KB , 500x500 , employee_of_the_month.png )

Thank you for reading.
And thanks to Mika, Craig, Chiva, and the rest of the OK Gang’s players.
And Jukashi and Tippler too, while I’m at it.
No. 1063919 ID: a7a180
File 168429010944.png - (8.84KB , 400x225 , jynns_final_judgement.png )

PIZZAS: 12/13

No. 1063920 ID: be2ac4

No. 1063922 ID: 8f9bc4

Planet ditched! Planet ditched! We have a ditched planet repeat we have a ditched planet!!
No. 1063927 ID: 273c18

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