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File 168029862071.png - (164.87KB , 1000x750 , 1.png )
1059999 No. 1059999 ID: 08229c

Previous Threads: https://questden.org/wiki/Audit_Quest
Support the author: https://ko-fi.com/calalen

My name is Mary.

I own a dungeon.

Not by choice, mind you. I was forced into this when the previous owner placed a curse on me after I tried to audit him. Now I'm the ruler of this place.


Something is weird...


"Boss! Boss!"

"... Dungeoneer..? What's... How long was I asleep..?"

Mary rubs her eyes. Everything seems slightly off. Dungeoneer is standing off to the side and grinning.


Wasn't I in bed? Why am I in a chair...

"You were day dreaming again, boss. I'm waiting for you choice."

"My choice..?"

"Yeah! For your future love life."


"Yeah. Who are you interested in? We have to start narrowing things down."

"I'm so confused. What the hell are you talking about? Wait aren't my parents supposed to be coming over..?"

"Oh. You're nervous, huh?"
2 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
No. 1060002 ID: 78260a

No. 1060003 ID: 5c8d2c

Adventurers. There was that cute knife eared boy from a while back.
No. 1060004 ID: 58c090

Slimecrown. Pick Dungeoneer herself. That'll show her.
No. 1060005 ID: ae9e42

Grab Dungeoneer and pull her directly onto your lap and smooch her.
No. 1060008 ID: 1effd3

do you think we can inflict psychic damage on the real Dungeoneer if we do this? if so, yes.
No. 1060009 ID: 08229c
File 168030126485.png - (222.42KB , 1000x750 , 4.png )

"Can I just pick you?"

"W-what? No... No you can not."


"A great choice! There's quite a few eligible bachelorettes there. Most of them are constructs so they're some real sticks in the mud but that means they're also less problems!

Normal humans are such a drag...

The Archiver is a giant nerd and would love nothing more than to bury her nose in books all day.

The Demonologist is a giant nerd too. But she likes to study demons so she's pretty cool.

The Artificer is ALSO a giant nerd. They really like tech stuff. Maybe you can woo them and get some sweet gear?

I am.... Off limits.

The Calculator is a HUGE nerd who loves herself some numbers. A match made in heaven, right?

And then there's Alex. She's an auditor too. I guess that also makes her a nerd?

So many choices!"
No. 1060010 ID: 58c090

Insist on her no matter how much she refuses.
No. 1060011 ID: 1effd3

Dungeoneer is the only choice, obviously.
No. 1060012 ID: 2aa5f0

No. 1060013 ID: 4534a6

>Only Nerds
The hell is this
Where all the Buff girls with yummy abs!?!
Dungeoneer Sacrifice your tummy to Mary's tongue!
No. 1060014 ID: 450e32

it gotta be dungeoneer
No. 1060015 ID: b94544

The only way you're getting out of this is killing Dungeoneer (through embarrassment). Pick Demonologist since she seems to be the most your type and smooch her right where Dungeoneer can see it.
No. 1060016 ID: e5709d

Dungeoneer, but every update enhances her knockers.
Happy April Fool's, everyone!
No. 1060017 ID: 08229c
File 168030181138.png - (297.35KB , 1000x750 , 5.png )

"I pick you."

"I'm telling you I'm not an option!"

"I can see your icon right there."

No. 1060018 ID: 58c090

No. 1060019 ID: e5709d

>Pick someone else!
Quest over, gg Larro
No. 1060020 ID: a7a180

And if she's not a choice then let's give Archivist a chance.
No. 1060021 ID: 1effd3

No. 1060022 ID: 1effd3

No. 1060023 ID: 450e32

pick the icon yourself without letting her stop you
No. 1060025 ID: 08229c
File 168030241848.png - (302.06KB , 1000x750 , 6.png )

>pick the icon yourself without letting her stop you


N-no! I'm not one of the options! I'm the tutorial person!"
No. 1060026 ID: 08229c
File 168030243838.png - (268.44KB , 1000x750 , 7.png )

"HA! Take that! Now you HAVE to pick someone else!"
No. 1060027 ID: 08229c
File 168030246189.png - (268.46KB , 1000x750 , 8.png )


No. 1060028 ID: a7a180

Click on her face.
No. 1060029 ID: 08229c
File 168030251720.png - (177.78KB , 1000x750 , 9.png )

"F-fine! I... I guess the lucky lady in the spotlight is... Me... The Dungeoneer..."

"Hello, Dungeoneer."

"H-hey boss... Do you uh... Need info on how this all works? I'm not sure how good it will be since... Since I'm the target and the tutorial person... We can just skip the tutorial, if you want..."
No. 1060030 ID: 4534a6

Exactly, Mary's gonna sex-errr romance tutorial you all up
No. 1060031 ID: 4534a6

Demand the licky-licky and puff-puff tutorials!
No. 1060032 ID: 4534a6

Demand the licky-licky and puff-puff tutorials!
No. 1060033 ID: 58c090

No, no, go ahead and tell us how to romance you. While you melt.
No. 1060034 ID: 1effd3

First: Headpat her
No. 1060035 ID: 78260a

Please tell us every cute detail about yourself.

Mary, pull her into your lap and stare into her eye with a smoldering gaze
No. 1060036 ID: a7a180

Add Dungeoneer's bow to inventory.
No. 1060038 ID: 08229c
File 168030374340.png - (183.25KB , 1000x750 , 10.png )

"S-so... To uh... R-romance the uh... The target... You have to uhm... Either Do Something or Ask Something. If you do or ask the right things then uh... Their heart meter goes up...

And when it reaches critical levels you can capture the Heart Essence and... Do stuff... With it..."

"Like what?"

"Heart Essence can be crafted into a Heart Bullet... These bullets can be used to ask a Heart Question or perform a Heart Action."

"What are those?"

"They're... It's so hard to talk about this when you're deadpan and staring at me... A Heart Question is a question that can not be ignored or lied about...

A Heart Action guides you to knowing what the uh.. Target wants you to do...

Do you understand the rules..?"

"It's not complicated, yes."

"I'm supposed to give a demonstration... But we can skip that, right?"

"And miss out on a learning opportunity? Never."

"O-oh. Do you wanna uhm... Ask something... Or..."

"I'll go easy on you. I'll ask something."

"O-okay... Uh... What do you wanna ask..?"
No. 1060041 ID: 6ccff3

"If I were to push you against the wall, one hand pessed against the wall, stared you in the eye and kissed you, how much would you enjoy that?"
No. 1060042 ID: b94544

Something easy then: What's her favourite rune?
No. 1060043 ID: 58c090

No. 1060044 ID: a7a180

What color are my eyes?
No. 1060045 ID: 1effd3

what is your favorite rune (besides knockers)
No. 1060046 ID: 08229c
File 168030481334.png - (184.70KB , 1000x750 , 11.png )

Come now. Even in a dream I'm sure we can avoid being crass. Besides, she could just not answer the question.

Such things should be saved for the bullets.

"What's your favorite rune?"

"My absolute favorite one? Uh... I think Soul is really interesting. It really lets you get some interesting results when you infuse a demon or a human with it... It strengthens their sense of self and allows the thing to better express itself onto the world...

I think it's a really cool rune..."

"That -is- a cool rune."

"Hehe... O-oh uhm.. My... My heart meter went up... Course you'd be good at this boss... You're good at a lot of things...

N-now try and uh... Do something. The things you do are varied but if you make the wrong move the uh.. Heart meter can go into reverse. If it hits the negatives you lose."


What should we do?
No. 1060047 ID: 1effd3

No. 1060048 ID: a7a180

Open the DM menu and construct a romantic balcony overlooking the Slimecrown courtyard.
No. 1060049 ID: 4fa4e7

Rub tummy
No. 1060050 ID: e5709d

>Sociopaths in Love: The Game
...I guess I could try...

Play with her crown.
No. 1060052 ID: 5c8d2c

Puff Puff
No. 1060054 ID: b94544

Take her crown!
No. 1060055 ID: 08229c
File 168030613564.png - (191.79KB , 1000x750 , 12.png )

Oh, hey, I still have access to my dungeon stuff. Cool.

Mary quickly constructs a more romantic spot outside. The cool air feels nice.

"Oh, wow. That's what you choose?" Dungeoneer says, "I didn't even know that was an option! Well, that about uh... Covers the tutorial. So, it's up to you now. Do and say as you please."


Mary headpats the Dungeoneer. Her hair is very soft and silky.

Critical damage to Dungeoneer.


"You have really nice hair. I'm jealous."

"Th-th-th-thank you..!"

Alright, let's get that heart meter up.
No. 1060056 ID: a7a180

I like watching you infuse runes into monsters. You really seem to enjoy your work...
No. 1060057 ID: 6ccff3

Compliment how beautiful she is. Slowly, gently keep complimenting her good personaolity traits, what you find cute about her while gently and intimately finding excuses to touch her, like brushing her hand with yours or leaning in to compliment her adorable eye.
No. 1060058 ID: 4534a6

Rub your hand under her chin
Lean in
Want me to 'personally' put a new rune in you?
No. 1060059 ID: 1effd3

say she is very pretty
No. 1060062 ID: 08229c
File 168030779385.png - (183.38KB , 1000x750 , 13.png )


"I like watching you infuse runes into monsters. You really seem to enjoy your work."

"Ehehehe... Y-yeah. I've always liked seeing things change in nature and grow... There's so much potential when it comes to rune infusion and we've really only scratched the surface..."


"I like it when people are passionate about their work. I think it brings out the best in them. You look very cute when you're excited."



"I see you trying your best. I always appreciate your hard work."

"I'm really happy..!"


Mary puts her hand under the girl's chin and lifts it a bit so they're seeing eye to eye.

"Maybe you've earned another rune. Want me to put one in you."


One Heart Bullet Obtained

Hey, we got one.

Well we can either ask a Heart Question or spend it to know what sort of Heart Action she wants.

What do you think?
No. 1060064 ID: 4fa4e7

Put the bullet right up her butt
No. 1060065 ID: 06095b


So, what'll be, Dungeoneer? Right here, right now, what do you really want?

Use the bullet.
No. 1060066 ID: 1effd3

If Question: Ask if she loves you.
If Action: Grope her boobs.
No. 1060067 ID: a7a180

Headshot: heart bullet to the eyepatch!
No. 1060068 ID: 4534a6

>Blow in her ear
No. 1060069 ID: 08229c
File 168030886028.png - (185.62KB , 1000x750 , 14.png )


People don't like things stuck up their butt.

I swear it's almost like the real crown is really here with me right now.

Either way...


No. 1060070 ID: 08229c
File 168030899444.png - (170.54KB , 1000x750 , 15.png )

"Heart Question. So, what'll be, Dungeoneer? Right here, right now, what do you really want?"



No. 1060071 ID: 08229c
File 168030916011.png - (73.39KB , 1000x750 , 16.png )

Dungeoneer has melted.

Since we're in a dream and all.

And nothing I say or do matters.

I have to admit.

I've always thought her flustered face is incredibly cute.

I think we won?
But the dream hasn't ended yet..

I guess we can still keep going?

Alright, what do we say or do?
No. 1060072 ID: 1effd3

first reconstruct her body, hard to kiss her if she's a puddle.
be sure to make her boobs bigger too.
No. 1060073 ID: adc866

When in doubt, think about knockers.
No. 1060074 ID: a7a180

Enhance knockers!
No. 1060075 ID: 06095b


Well, it is a dream. Clearly you must now find The Wizard who can restore Dungeoneer to her true form. Store her in a jar for now and embark upon your quest, Knight Mary, but beware, many trials and travails await you upon your path, including the dreaded Gummy Wyrm...
No. 1060076 ID: 8fd67d

If this is a dream and its okay. You need to seduce her. Let loose your pent up desires, unchained from workplace morality
No. 1060077 ID: 36b2ef

Ask if she wants to try sliding your crowns one into the other.
No. 1060078 ID: b80dfd

I wouldn't be too sure that nothing matters. Weird things like this seem to stick around.
No. 1060079 ID: 08229c
File 168031065397.png - (189.63KB , 1000x750 , 17.png )

... I mean it IS a dream so...

Mary grabs the Dungeoneer and pulls her back up so she's less puddle. The girl is reformed but very limp.


Do we even have that rune?
I strongly doubt it but... It IS a dream.

Mary uses the Knockers Rune. Dungeoneer sees an immediate change. So does Mary.

"B-b-b-b-b-b-oss!??!?!?! Is... Is this what you like!?"


I mean, honestly, I think she looked fine regardless.

I will not turn down the chance to admire good breasts.

Oh uh


She did say she wanted a kiss..

It's been a while since I've kissed anyone. I'm actually a little nervous myself.

Maybe we should just abort?
No. 1060080 ID: 36b2ef

Mama didn't raise no cowardly kaiju! Kiss the girl!
No. 1060081 ID: a7a180

Yeah. This is just the tutorial after all. Let's move onto the real thing!
No. 1060082 ID: 8fd67d

Mary. You just gonna let your cute dungeoneer remain unkissed? Thats real life hesitations- go for it. Its a dream, so let loose your desires.
No. 1060083 ID: d61e4d

Come on, Mary, don't chicken out on us.
No. 1060084 ID: 63b63e

Do you want out of this dream or not? The answer here is obvious.
No. 1060085 ID: 6f4507

dream or no, you can't just keep a lady waiting like that, no one likes a case of blue balls! Show off your power!
No. 1060086 ID: 4534a6

Go in with tongue
No. 1060087 ID: ae9e42

Since she's limp you gotta hold her by the waist and pull her in and smooch her
No. 1060088 ID: ae9e42

"Sorry if the kiss is awkward, it's been a while. We'll have to practice."
No. 1060090 ID: 3cb1a5

Kiss the girl!!
She might explode, but that's a risk we're willing to take!!
No. 1060091 ID: 5c8d2c

Mary, quick. Motorboat.
No. 1060092 ID: e5709d

dur hurr
If you want to then do it
No. 1060093 ID: 08229c
File 168031229231.png - (185.21KB , 1000x750 , 18.png )


You know what, screw it. It's a dream. I'm gonna go for it.




"I'm going to kiss you."


"Is that okay?"

"Is... I've... I've had such a huge crush on you for so long... But... I can't act on it. My..."

"It's okay, Dungeoneer. You can keep your secrets. Come on, it's a dream. This is the place where things that can't happen, do."


Mary gently pulls the Dungeoneer in by her waist. Both of their hearts are beating furiously.

Why am I so nervous..?

It's just a dream...
No. 1060094 ID: 08229c
File 168031242981.png - (215.24KB , 1000x750 , 19.png )

Mary pulls the girl in close enough to kiss her. Their lips touch and Dungeoneer just melts into her hold. If not for Mary's gentle touch keeping her in place she'd probably just dissolve from joy.


She tastes like mint. I always thought she would but it's nice to have it confirmed.

I mean... Dream confirmed.


Mary deepens the kiss and presses her tongue into the Dungeoneer's mouth. The construct is surprised at first but she accepts it.

The pair stay like that for what feels like forever before finally breaking apart.

"Sorry if that was a bit awkward. It's been a while."

Dungeoneer still seems stunned.

"It was perfect." She says.


Mary has taken critical damage.
No. 1060095 ID: b4efdd

Now let her kiss your butt, but this time literally.
No. 1060096 ID: 6f4507

who's seducing who? Now if only she weren't your subordinate, it wouldn't feel wrong to actually date and romance the SHIT out of her.
No. 1060097 ID: ae9e42

Bro that's third date material. This is the tutorial.

Cuddle and make out. You've earned it. Time to relax!
No. 1060103 ID: d61e4d

Well. You get to see her boobs, maybe you should return the favor?
No. 1060104 ID: ae1513

Go back to the character select screen and get some of the other constructs. If nothing else, we can't miss out on the chance to invert the knockers rune, as it would shatter your nerd pride to miss out on that sweet sweet experimentation!
No. 1060107 ID: 4534a6

>give her a CAKE rune
No. 1060108 ID: 08229c
File 168031432909.png - (2.75KB , 800x600 , 20.png )

I'm not seduced...

I've just... Never had anyone compliment my kissing like that...

But, you guys are right. This is a dream. Why shouldn't I enjoy myself more? I've worked hard.

This counts as rest, right?



It doesn't matter.

I'm gonna smooch her again.


And Mary does just that. She pulls her in close, just enjoying the warmth of their body as they kiss again.

This time, Dungeoneer is more than a passive partner. She touches Mary too. Short and hesitant touches. On her arm, her shoulder, her neck.

Mary pulls back. Dungeoneer has a moment of panic, thinking she did something wrong.

Then she has a moment of absolute flustering as Mary takes off her top.

"What? It's not fair that you're the only one showing their tits."


Mary chuckles before she resumes kissing the woman. Hands go places, exploring, feeling.
No. 1060110 ID: 08229c
File 168031439557.png - (197.99KB , 800x600 , 21.png )

Demonologist enters the patio.

"Oh, Dungeon Master. I'm glad you recovered from your mental breakdown. The rest was much needed. I came to inform you that your parents have arrived."

No. 1060112 ID: 6f4507

No. 1060113 ID: 61235c

Wait, what? That doesn’t seem right. Since when can you click people’s faces in the waking world? Perform a couple dream checks.
No. 1060114 ID: 273c18

It's just the dream messing with you. You don't have a Knockers rune! Also, giving Dungeoneer another rune would've caused a bigger reaction than that.

But also I'd guess the mood is ruined now. Tell Dungeoneer you can continue later, get your shirt back on, and see what your dream parents are like.
No. 1060115 ID: ae9e42

Tell her to tell them you're resting
No. 1060116 ID: 08229c
File 168031506520.png - (187.28KB , 800x600 , 22.png )

".... Demonologist... Have we always had the knockers rune..?"

"Yes? The First Dungeon Master gave it to us."


Mary tries to click her face. She can't cause that's not something you can do in the real world.

". . . . . "

"Oh, here are your parents, Mary."

The pair enter the patio.

"Oh, Mary! Is that your new girlfriend? She's so cute. I love her hair."


"It's nice to see you finally being more free with your sexuality!"


"When are you two getting married? Also, where are your pants?"

No. 1060117 ID: 08229c
File 168031508017.png - (2.75KB , 800x600 , 23.png )

Mary explodes.
No. 1060119 ID: 08229c
File 168031524636.png - (195.10KB , 800x600 , 24.png )

When she stops exploding she finds herself on her bed. Surrounding her are many slimes.

"W-wha...? Did I pass out..?"

The slimes suddenly get up and leave.


I am...

So confused....

And horny....

I'm going back to sleep.....
No. 1060121 ID: 6f4507

No. 1060122 ID: d61e4d

Thanks for running!
No. 1060123 ID: 4534a6

No. 1060435 ID: 298597

Did we earn Mary anything with being so good at our job and almost getting her laid if not for the dream falling apart at the seams?
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