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File 160911084238.png - (209.72KB , 1000x1000 , Title Card 2.png )
984338 No. 984338 ID: 8483cf

I am Lady Serah Kensington, Heir Countess of Kensington, and I sincerely hope I don’t screw this up.

Lazy Wiki: https://questden.org/wiki/Lazy_Fairy

Previous Topic: https://questden.org/kusaba/questarch/res/974331.html
Expand all images
No. 984339 ID: 8483cf
File 160911102185.png - (1.14MB , 1400x1400 , Beginnings.png )

My skills as an alchemist are rapidly progressing. I was the youngest in Kensington to transmute bronze to silver. My potion-book is growing by the day. My bombs are safely kept and quite powerful. Given time, I will undoubtedly gain renown as an adventurer, and have clout of my own.

I have been raised to succeed. To excel. To rule. I cannot afford to shame my ancient name.

The last two days have not gone according to plan.

By enlisting the aid of a fairy, I thought I would be gaining a valuable ally. I have been wrong to rely on her; she has forgotten much of her schooling and is handicapped by her… passions. Perhaps she will improve. Perhaps not.
No. 984340 ID: 8483cf
File 160911104712.png - (632.18KB , 1156x1777 , Party Get.png )

I was beguiled into adopting an adorable, precious, and utterly untamed fox spirit. She has an agenda of her own and no way of communicating it to me, so I have yet to ascertain her motives in joining me. Fortunately, she is currently not a threat, and is bound to provide me three favors each day. Unfortunately, she eats a lot of legs of lamb, and needs a bed of her own. I will need to fund both.

Raelynn, a wood elf ranger, is my one reliable party member and good counsel. I hope she decides to stay with us longer than the next two days, but it will be a challenge for obvious reasons.
No. 984341 ID: 8483cf
File 160911110375.png - (140.86KB , 742x860 , Morning Serah.png )

I blink the bleariness from my eyes. Sunlight peeks through the curtains. I shrug off the covers and stretch.

In the bunk below me, Dotti is still asleep. But my fairy is missing from her bed. She’s been good to her word and gotten up at the cock’s first crow. Maybe there’s hope for her yet.

It’s going to be a busy day. I need to prepare for tomorrow’s adventure if I’m going to have enough gold to pay for my party’s new room and board.

My party. My very own adventuring party…

I like the sound of that.
No. 984342 ID: e51896

>She’s been good to her word and gotten up at the cock’s first crow. 

Good that she is waking up before everyone else, but are you sure she is training? We should know better than that. Lets sneak to find that fairy and make sure she is doing what she promised.

But first, bathe, eat, get dressed, etc. You know the morning routine.
No. 984343 ID: b1b4f3

Perform morning routine, trust that your fairy is keeping her promise, because she's a FAIRY.
No. 984344 ID: 0fae41

First step is to watch your head. It's time to get used to what Jotun mutagen can do for you! Then assemble your kit and grab a quick breakfast.
No. 984345 ID: 12b116

dont forget to wash your feets
No. 984375 ID: 094652

Check on your party, then ignore their squabbling and shower.
No. 984526 ID: 8483cf
File 160937839432.png - (143.85KB , 651x787 , Towel Troubles.png )

I need to get used to my body. The Jotund’s Might mutagen I imbibed yesterday has made me tall enough, and the bunk bed is short enough, that I don’t need a ladder to climb down. I’d estimate my current height at roughly 203 centimeters.

I don’t slam my head into a ceiling beam as I swing out of bed. That’s as good a start to the day as any.

I grab my bath kit and towel and head for the women’s showers. It’s an uncomfortably long walk, especially considering my nightie is far too small for me now. Fortunately, I’m up early enough that I don’t run into anyone.

It feels like showers are the one time of day I can actually relax. Running water is new to this parish, and I’m exceptionally grateful to have it in the adventurer’s guild. It’s one of the big reasons I picked Minga to set up shop for now. I’m not sure what I’d do if I had to heat my own bathwater, or- savior forbid- use a cold tub.

I hang my nightie and grab my towel. It’s also too small on me… I really don’t like this mutagen.

I sigh and reach for my bath kit. It’s a beautiful collection of soaps and lathers, the best of which I received as gifts from an exceptionally thoughtful sender. They’re enchanted, too. Mild spells, but still useful.

My hand hovers over the kit. I think I remember the soap labels.

Arrowhead Pine: Be swift like the coursing river!
Lumenbug Amber: Make your fairy companions jealous with a soft, warm glow.
Saltrock Mist: Bulk up with a hard, skin-colored chitin to increase defense. Different colors sold separately.
Tarblood Moss: Increase fire resistance from the tar pits of another plane.
Cloud-Manta Extract: Jump higher like you’re light as a sprite, and gracefully float down without fall damage.
Clearwater Cherry: Vanish and go undetected! Or it just might help people ignore me. It’s hard to tell.

No. 984529 ID: 293539

Lumenbug, that fairy could stand to get messed with more.
No. 984530 ID: 0fae41

Less modest hemlines are merely a temporary side effect of the mutagen. Save the total makeover for a couple doses later, when it's nice and ready!
Cloud-Manta extract? Why not! You'll be putting on more height than ever! If this stuff really works.
No. 984546 ID: 094652

Cloud Mana Extract: The square cube law says that your bones are prone to wearing down under the strain of your modified weight. Use this to get the proportions right.
No. 984554 ID: a30eee

I agree with Cloud manta, but 203 cm is like 6'8" in freedom units. That is tall, but not unnaturally tall, and definitely not square cube law tall.
No. 984557 ID: 53560f

Saltrock mist.
Your body is your last line of defense and if you’re gonna be a beast of an adventurer then you might as well double down.
Also with all the useful achemical possibilities available to you, you’re probably gonna change more before long anyway.
No. 984571 ID: e51896

clearwater cherry, that way we can spy on fairy and make sure she is making due on her promise.

I wonder how long these effects last...
No. 984653 ID: 8483cf
File 160963043486.png - (231.23KB , 973x1360 , I_Never_Asked_for_This.png )

I decide to wash up with the Cloud-Manta Extract. I’m not used to my longer legs yet, and if I trip, it should ensure a soft landing.

I close the curtain around me and seal the world away. The water is piping hot but not scalding, just the way I like it. Soon the stall is my own private steaming oasis. It’s my favorite part of the day.

I don’t hurry. There’s as much water as I need. Why rush a good thing?

All too soon, I’m done with my wash. I want to spend the whole day here, but I have responsibilities. I have to check on my fairy and make sure she isn’t causing chaos. I should start brewing my potions for tomorrow.

But the walk back to my room is cold, and the shower is hot. One more round of conditioner won’t hurt…

All too soon, I’m done. I wrap myself up in my towels and step out to face cold reality.

And Raelynn is right there in front of me, wearing only a tight-wrapped towel and a tight-lipped scowl.

“Ah!” I yelp. I wasn’t ready for reality!

“Did you tell your fox spirit I was her chambermaid?” Raelynn asks.

“U-um… no?” I stammer, cluching my undersized towel to my chest. This day is already off to a bad start. “Why? What happened?”

“She wouldn’t stop pounding on my door until I helped her get dressed.”

“O-oh,” I sigh in relief. “I was expecting something worse.”

“I didn’t volunteer to play dress-up with a fox spirit first thing in the morning,” Raelynn says, irritation in her voice. “I don’t think Dotti cares about the basic rules of society if they get in the way of something she wants.”

“I-I’m sorry!” I blurt out. I should be more assertive, but this is not how I imagined my day going. “I’ll handle it!”

Raelynn raises an eyebrow, but she steps aside and lets me pass. She shakes her head.

I rush back to the room, thankfully not running into anyone in the hall. Dotti is gone.

I hurriedly brush my hair with an enchanted drying comb and put on my new adventuring clothes, worrying about my fairy and fox spirit the whole time. I’m going to need to deal with them sooner rather than later.

But how? And who is more likely to cause trouble first?
No. 984654 ID: e51896

The fairy could most likely cause trouble first, but Dotti could not have gone far since she left much later than fairy. Plus fairy said she hates lying, so there could be some time before she causes trouble before you can find Dotti first.

Lets go and find Dotti. Knowing her love for food, she most likely is at the bar looking for something to eat, perhaps trying to eat crumbs or fallen food people dropped off the floor. We can approach this by providing her with breakfast, as stated in the contract.
No. 984655 ID: 0fae41

The fox spirit, definitely. She's a troublesome one, can't trust her. Besides, getting to play dressup with her should be your privilege.
No. 984658 ID: b5fb67


We might need to teach Dotti to be a litte more self-sufficient.
No. 984674 ID: 6f7a5a

Offer to dress Dotti next time
No. 985352 ID: 8483cf
File 161032564374.png - (195.72KB , 1493x1098 , Naughty Dotti.png )

I worry about what my charges might do while I'm not watching. My fairy knows no restraint in her free time- but she does, in her own twisted way, keep her word. She is at least somewhat predictable.

An unsupervised fox spirit is not predictable. According to my fairy, they're wild, deceitful and vicious. This is corroborated by the stories and fables I read as a child. What is Dotti's agenda? I can't leave her alone without knowing what she's up to.

I rush downstairs as soon as I'm decent and hunt for her telltale pink bow. Think, Serah, think! If you were a fox spirit, what would you want first thing in the morning? Food! Of course!

I rush into the mess hall and scan around. I spy a pink bow peeking around a rubbish bin.

Oh dear.

"Dotti!" I snap. "What are you doing?!"

I rush up and grab the chicken leg from the floor. Dotti looks at me, shock and confusion in her eyes. She looks at the bin full of wasted food longingly.

"This is not for eating!" I say, completely exasperated.

Dotti is still looking up from the floor, confused, watching the chicken leg. I toss it in the rubbish bin and slam the lid.

"You can't do things like this! People are going to look at you like an out-of-control pet!"

Dotti's eyes narrow to slits. She bares her teeth.

No. 985353 ID: 0fae41

Get her to some proper food, stat.
No. 985354 ID: b1b4f3

She doesn't understand and thinks you're just keeping food from her. First thing's first, find some food to give her to replace what you took away.
Tell her that the trash bin is for items which no longer have worth. Townsfolk have higher standards for cleanliness and easy access to food, so consider food that has been contaminated to no longer be worth the risk of getting sick. Or even if the food has just been sitting out for too long. These higher standards are seen as a sign of civilization, so if people see her eating out of the trash, they'll think she isn't civilized.
No. 985355 ID: 10c07d

Find Dotti a chicken leg that didn’t come from a trash can.
No. 985356 ID: e51896

Remind Dotti she can't hurt you as per the contract, and if she wants to be a human, she must act like one!

Also, ask where her boots are. It is highly improper to be walking around barefoot in the messy tavern and its sticky floor. after all: no shoes, no shirts, no service!
No. 985358 ID: e51896

>Remind Dotti... if she wants to be a human, she must act like one!

(Cue a homeless human bum rummaging through the trash)
No. 985359 ID: 094652

"You need to buy food from an appropriate vendor - or at least cook and clean your meals before you fox into them! Filthy, raw food is filled with diseases and parasites that will get you sick, and I refuse to pay the exorbitant bill for an illness cleanse just because you wanted bargain bin chicken!"

Pick Dotti up and get her to the nearest fast food. Buy something plain and cheap so she won't complain about the volume.
No. 985459 ID: 6c227a

baby steps. Just take her and her chicken leg to a table.
No. 985770 ID: 8483cf
File 161078191059.png - (108.06KB , 588x608 , Dirty_Liar.png )

I gulp.

Dotti’s mad that I took her "breakfast.” Very mad. Mad enough that her whole body is tense and ready to attack.

I have to hope fairy magic is good for something.

“I’ll get you breakfast,” I say. “Just like our contract says.”

Dotti’s eyes glaze over for a second, and the simmering anger vanishes. She shakes her head, confused and disoriented. She lets out a soft whine.

I’m just as confused, but whatever happened, it took the wind out of her sails, thank the Savior.

“This is a rubbish bin,” I say, pointing at it. “Humans put items and food that are to be disposed of. Food in here is dangerous, and may make you ill.”

Dotti looks confused.

I sigh. “Dotti, I’m sorry if this is confusing for you. But if you want to live with humans, you have to act like us. Being around humans means obeying written and unwritten rules so we all get along. That’s what makes civilization work.”

Dotti looks forlornly at the rubbish bin.

“I’ll get you some jerky for breakfast,” I say. “Now promise me you won’t eat anything else from a rubbish bin.”

Dotti nods eagerly.

“Good,” I say, and head to the guild’s stores to grab some jerky. I grab a bag and pay its worth into the guild’s locked cash box. We use the honor system: this is isn’t a thieves’ guild!

I get back and find Dotti tearing messily into the same chicken leg I just threw away.

Apparently, there's nothing in the contract stopping her from lying. And there's technically no law in Minga against eating garbage.

I sigh.
No. 985771 ID: b1b4f3

Keeping promises is part of civilized culture as well, Dotti.
Which is why she gets only SOME of the jerky from the bag, which you will then lock away somewhere she can't get so she can't gorge herself on it.
No. 985772 ID: e51896

We need a punishment system in place to help Dotti behave herself.

How about tell her the next time she misbehaves again like breaking a promise she made, you'll have to use one of your favors in the contract to have her do a chore she might not really like, such as using your favors to clean your room,or carry any heavy luggage you acquire all by herself for example.
No. 985775 ID: b1b4f3

We could just use the favor to get her to stop eating trash, directly.
No. 985780 ID: 10c07d

No. 986121 ID: 8483cf
File 161138136409.png - (184.32KB , 706x911 , Big_Thonk.png )

I cannot expect Dotti to abide by the unwritten rules of society. Even if I can use the contract to force her to abide by the law, she is free to misbehave in all sorts of other ways.

I will need to rely on other methods of leadership.

I could coax her into good behavior with rewards. I can likely fascinate a fox spirit with even the most basic of human luxuries.

Or I can rely on the stick. Dotti is bound to perform three favors for me each day. I can remind her- gently at first, harshly if necessary- that being part of society means performing unpleasant, but essential, tasks.

...But perhaps the most effective way of convincing her to behave may be to speak her native language and rely on less civilized punishments.
No. 986122 ID: 0fae41

Are you saying you want to spank the fox? We won't stop you.
No. 986123 ID: b5fb67


How do you propose we speak fox??

I think we should try the "catch more flies with honey than vinegar" approach.
No. 986124 ID: b1b4f3

You're trying to make her civilized. Punishing her in an uncivilized way is hypocritical.
But option B is good, remind her that you have a stick and aren't afraid to use it. That should keep her more in line... but IMO you should *also* use a carrot. Punish her now, then tell her if she's good for the rest of the day you'll give her a treat. That should prevent her from attempting to avoid punishment by provoking you into using all three of your favors.
No. 986128 ID: 094652

Hug her. Don't stop until she behaves.
No. 986134 ID: 777990

Considering the stick or carrot is important for this, but they are part of the same process. Using the stick or offering a reward work far better when you make situational use of BOTH.
No. 986150 ID: 8483cf
File 161144378224.png - (181.65KB , 728x991 , DottiSit.png )

If I’m going to have any hope of keeping Dotti in line while I’m not directly supervising her, I need to her to behave properly of her own volition. Doing whatever she wants, whenever she wants may lead to short-term satisfaction, but Dotti will need to learn that the rewards are greater if she delays her gratification.

That means I’ll need to reward her the end of her tasks and give swift, immediate punishments to take away her rewards for deceitful or impulsive behavior. If she knows that lying and rule-breaking will lead to unhappiness, she may decide that honesty is the best policy.

Or she might get better at hiding her bad behavior. One of the two.

I watch as Dotti devours the last of the garbage chicken leg. She seems content. It’s probably a thousand times tastier than anything she’s had in the wild… but we’re in the city, not the forest. She might be a magical fox spirit, but I’m the one with all the power.

I take a deep breath. I’ve got this. I can do this. I’m in charge, and if I do what I know is right, everything will be okay.

“Dotti?” I ask sweetly. “Did you enjoy your chicken leg? The one from the bin you promised not to eat out of?”

Dotti licks her paws and ignores me.

“Promises are very important, Dotti. Promises are a big part of living with humans, elves, and any other civilized society. When you break a promise, people get mad. They won’t trust you again.”

Dotti cocks her head and looks at me quizzically, as if she’s confused I would even trust her in the first place.

“You have to earn that trust back. And it’s hard. Very hard.”

Dotti is still confused.

Suddenly, I understand.

“You might not need trust to survive outside society, but it has rewards here. Big rewards. Big, tasty rewards.” I reach for the bag of jerky and pull out a few pieces.

Dotti licks her chops.

“If people trust you,” I say, “They let you into rooms full of food, where there’s nothing but tasty treats from floor to ceiling. And there’s nobody watching you when you’re inside.”

Dotti’s eyes get as big as saucers.

“But if they don’t trust you… they lock everything up and take away the treats.” I put the jerky back in the bag and tie it closed. “Dotti, I don’t trust you. So you’re not getting these tasty, delicious treats, and I’m telling everyone to keep you away from the room they came from.”

Dotti droops, crestfallen. She lets out a soft whimper at the unthinkable cruelty.

“Not only that, as my first favor for today, I demand that you provide Raelynn exemplary room service for breakfast. This consists of cleaning up of the mess you’ve made of yourself, then fetching Raelynn whatever food she wants, not touching or eating anything while doing so, and scraping the remaining food waste into this rubbish bin when Raelynn is done. Then, and only then, will you eat your own proper breakfast, which I will provide.”

Dotti looks at the rubbish bin.

“You promised not to eat from the bin. If you keep your promises for the rest of the day, I promise in return to give you tasty treats from the secret special room. But if you don’t…” I shrug. “Maybe you should rethink whether you really want to be around humans at all.”

Dotti looks around at the slowly filling mess hall. She looks a little overwhelmed, and confused, and upset.
No. 986152 ID: b1b4f3

>“If people trust you,” I say, “They let you into rooms full of food, where there’s nothing but tasty treats from floor to ceiling. And there’s nobody watching you when you’re inside.”
Oh dear. That's gonna backfire...

Anyway, Dotti can't communicate so you'd better tell Raelynn about the favor so she can tell Dotti what she wants.
No. 986164 ID: 8483cf
File 161145666369.png - (153.91KB , 507x1086 , Untrustworthy.png )

Dotti stares at me as I pull a spill-free quill and scrap of paper from my pouch (essential for emergency communications when in the field) and write a brief message to Raelynn on it explaining that Dotti is to serve her breakfast as a test of her ability to follow societal rules.

I give the note to Dotti and smile. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but things are a lot safer here than in the wild. Just be honest, and do your best to help out. If you do that, then I’ll be there to help if you get in trouble. Okay?”

Dotti nods. She gets up, and I’m reminded that she’s barefoot. I look at the stairwell, where there’s a pair of unlaced pink boots.

“Are those your boots over there?” I ask. “Do you know how to tie them up?”

Dotti shakes her head. She tugs on her bow nervously.

“That’s okay. I’ll show you how today, and then we can spend some time practicing later.”

Dotti slips her boots on and I tie them up for her. She gives a happy tip-tap of her boots and smiles, then heads upstairs.

I sigh. Hopefully Dotti learns the value of honesty and basic manners.

Now I have a choice. I can either check in on my fairy, or start brewing potions and elixirs. The best ones take longer, so if I want to make the trickiest ones in my book, I’ll have to start now. But if I do that, my fairy might cause untold chaos. Somehow.
No. 986165 ID: b1b4f3

The fairy's been relatively well behaved so far, if a bit bad at giving advice. Show her some trust and make some good potions.
No. 986167 ID: e51896

Find your worthless good for nothing industrious challenged fairy. She is most likely telling the truth and using her magic until she is all magic'd out, but who knows HOW she is practicing her magic
No. 986168 ID: 0fae41

Potions. I think the fairy is partied out and needs to recover her mana before starting additional fires.
No. 986200 ID: 4a04f9

The fairy may be irresponsible, but she isn't an idiot (or in Dotti's case, obscenely ignorant). She understands the situation and, while she may be struggling with her own demons, deep down she does seem to care.

Go make potions. See if you can learn more about mutagens so you can actually reap the rewards they offer.
No. 986206 ID: 8483cf
File 161152611203.png - (60.83KB , 519x576 , Thonk2.png )

I tell this morning's volunteer chef at the mess hall to serve Dotti her breakfast once she's done serving Raelynn, then head to the alchemist's lab.

Because I’ve decided to start early, I have access to my full repertoire.

Right now, I have the following:

ACTIVE MUTAGEN: Jotund’s Might (Basic): Makes me bigger, faster, stronger, and grants resistance to cold.

- Ice Bomb x2
- Fire Bomb x1
- Minor Healing Potion x1
- Smoke Bomb
- Elixir of Strength
- Failed Potion of Invisibility. I should throw it out.

Bombs: Explosive projectiles stored securely until use. Cause friendly fire and collateral damage.

Oils: Temporary buffs applied to weapons, armor or other items used in combat. Harmful when used on living tissue, but can be applied extremely carefully to things like fangs or claws.

Mutagens: Concoctions that alter my body. The effects can only be undone through an unpleasant, day-long cleansing process. I will never use these again. Never ever.

Potions, Elixirs, and Greater
Potions, Elixirs, Philtres, and Infusions are all magical liquids containing spells meant to be imbibed. The differences are in how the spell is stored within the liquid. Rule of thumb is that potions are easiest to prepare, followed by elixirs, then philtres, with infusions being the most difficult to prepare and store.

Since potions, elixirs, etc. are a broad category, their effects are many and varied.

Spell Distillations and Concentrates
One of the highest arts of alchemists specializing in potions and elixirs. Distillations are the essence of a spell, contained within a storage medium, usually a flask or vial, ready to be cast upon release. Concentrates are the same thing, but concentrated even further to produce an even more powerful effect.

A skilled alchemist can duplicate almost any spell, from arcane to divine, but will need to learn the inner workings of the spell first, usually via research from a well-stocked library or direct tutelage from a wizard or cleric.

- Flashbang: Blinds and disorients all in radius. Do NOT let my fairy know I can make these.
- Elemental Bomb: Fire, Ice, Wind, Earth/Shrapnel. For when things just have to go boom.
- Smoke Bomb: Great for cover and concealment. Ninjas are so cool!
- Sticky Bomb: Literally a sticky bomb.
- Sticky Bomb: Bomb that makes things sticky in a 10-foot radius.
- Gravity Bomb: I haven’t been able to make it work yet.
- Solvent Bomb: Dissolves armor of target. Requires direct hit to work.

- Coating of Flame: Coats weapon in white-hot flame. Effectiveness decreases over time.
- Oil of Sharpness: Magical sharpy sharp
- Oil of Hardness: Magical hardy hard
- Holy Oil: burn zambie burnnnnn
- Oil of Magical Rebound: someday I might be able to make this one work. Grrr

Potions, Elixirs, Etc.:
- Healing: Never leave home without some. Absolutely essential.
- Swift Stride: discretion is the better part of valor!
- Invisibility: I haven’t managed to successfully make one of these yet.
- Strength: rar I so stronk
- Mage Armor: Invisible force field to deflect attacks. Great for mobility, but the force field doesn’t extend beyond my skin.
- Dragon’s Breath: omg so cool
- Resist [specific] Element: boring but effective.
- Etherealness: Exceptionally difficult to brew. Makes physical attacks go right through me for a bit. Haven’t managed to successfully make it yet.
- Water Breathing: remember to pack for vacay to swim with fishies
- See Invisibility: because boys always try to sneak into the baths
- Darkvision: imma kitty kat mew mew mew

Distillations and Concentrates:: All are difficult to make for me right now.
- Magic Missile: my first distillation <3<3<3<3 Grants me the ability to shoot arcane projectiles at will for 60 seconds.
- Control [specific] Element: Grants manipulation of fire, water, earth or air for three hours.
- Telekinesis: Limited telekinesis for one hour.
- Hold Person: I’m not sure how long it will last, but I can guide the spell to ensnare one target.
- Counterspell: Exceptionally difficult to make, but exceptionally useful.

I can make two potions, two eilxirs(stronger potions), three bombs, one oil, and one distillation. What should I brew?
No. 986207 ID: 0fae41

Mutagens may not stack well, but if you can brew a better version of your current one, don't settle for subpar alchemy.
You should keep trying those experimental brews every day. For now, let's try:
-Gravity bomb, flashbang, and a solvent bomb.
-Oil of Hardness
-Control Earth
-strength elixir, healing elixir
-Ethereal potion, dragon's breath potion
No. 986208 ID: e51896

- practice again with getting invisibility to work, study your failed invisibility potion to learn from your mistakes before throwing it out. Compare it with the Clearwater Cherry soap for any kinds of similarities or diferences.
- Etherealness

- healing
- Darkvision (for spelunking)

- practice making a gravity bomb
- Solvent Bomb
- wind bomb

Coating of Flame

Control wind
No. 986238 ID: 094652

-Mage Armor
-Sticky (A)
No. 986248 ID: b5fb67

Hey, there's only enough room on this board for ONE blonde with telekinesis!

-Solvent Bomb, Flashbang, and Fire Bomb
-Coating of Flame
-2 Healing potions
-Counterspell distillation (great for shutting down pesky wizards)
No. 986253 ID: b1b4f3

>I can make two potions, two eilxirs(stronger potions), three bombs, one oil, and one distillation. What should I brew?
1 healing
1 strength
1 healing
1 mage armor
1 smoke
1 ice
1 sticky bomb (the one that does damage)
NOTE TO SELF: rename the 10-foot sticky bomb to "glue bomb".
fire oil
magic missile.
No. 986259 ID: 22d627

Bombs: Sticky, Solvent, Gravity. You have a few spare bombs so try out some utility ones and see if you can get the gravity formula down.
Oils: Holy Oil. Most of your other options aren't great against the undead so this is a nice to have.
Potions: Healing, Mage Armour. Better to have it and not need it for healing, and prevention is better than the cure.
Elixirs: Dragon's Breath, Swift Stride. Both very handy in a pinch!
Distillations: Magic Missile. Pew pew lasers are great.
No. 986342 ID: 4a04f9

Don't write off mutagens.

Don't make any more right now either.

What you need to do is read more literature on how mutagens behave and the effects they can have. Once you are confident that you have a good enough grasp on their natures and inter-workings, we should try them again. Plus, knowledge is good and you never know when you might need it.

As for actual practical alchemy, why not check out the failed potion. See why it failed and, since it doesn't make people invisible, see if it [i1does[/i] do anything.

Also, you need a lab rat, like an actual lab rat. Trying potions on yourself that may or may not work is a very bad idea that could end in disaster, not to mention more trauma. Trauma that could ruin other branches of alchemy for you, just like the mutagens.
If you don't like harming animals, you could look into seeing if there exists a type of artificial non-sentient stand-in such as a type of homunculus or human-anatomical golem. Honestly though, lab rats are easier and ethically speaking, it is probably one of the least bad options.
No. 986349 ID: e51896

Use fairy as a lab rat.
No. 986436 ID: 4a04f9

That's kind of awful, especially when she went and took the mutagen herself after she messed up.

No sapients as test subjects.
No. 986581 ID: 8483cf
File 161206950415.png - (43.63KB , 362x349 , Thonking.png )

If I go searching for reagents to transmute silver to gold, I will need to prepare for sudden, unexpected combat if I’m ambushed. If I decide to go spelunking in the nearby ruins, I will need to prepare to fight my way through whatever defenses have managed to scare off local adventurers, or local monsters that have taken to hoarding lost treasure. Both will involve combat. Healing and defenses are essential.

If I go spelunking, I can likely rely on my fairy for light; I don’t currently need darkvision. Likewise, I can probably use my bombs in place of Dragon’s Breath potions; there’s nothing local that will need white-hot dragonfire to destroy, or else my father would have heard about it. Finally, my mutagen seems to have increased my speed. I can probably outpace most of my foes if I sprint, with no pressing need for Swift Stride.

After yesterday’s events, I’m nervous about trying new potions on myself. I’m better off not trying to make the invisibility potion right now, without a way to test it. I could ask my fairy to help; if her boasts are true, she has an impossibly strong tolerance for all kinds of concoctions that should logically kill her. However, her biology is significantly more magical than a human’s, and there’s no guarantee what affects her will affect me in the same way. Still, the mutagen mix she drank was specifically calibrated for my essence, not hers; mutagens are tailor-made for the alchemist who makes them.

If my fairy consents, she may be the safest and most ethical option to test new potions on, as well as my failed invisibility potion. She will not be able to help with mutagens, which is fine, as I will never make them again. Never ever.

Bombs: Solvent, Flashbang, Gravity (experimental)
Potions: Healing, Strength
Elixirs: Healing, Mage Armor
Oil: Coating of Flame
Dilstillation: Magic Missile <3

I get to work on the items I know how to make, then get to the gravity bomb. I have enough shadow and earth essence to make it work, but volatilizing them together in a bomb calorimeter to ensure the right energy level is a difficult process. My notes are bad, and I don’t have any textbooks or teachers to help.

Every other time I’ve mixed them, I’ve either overcompressed or undercompressed the essences, and the whole thing just fizzles after an hour or so. There’s no way to tell how close I am to a workable, stable bomb core, and it’s really getting to me.

I load the calorimeter and close the lid. My brow is sweaty. I’m perfectly safe, but that’s not what worries me.

I have no idea how to do this.

I should quit. Make a different bomb. Try something I know will work, and give myself the guaranteed bomb for tomorrow’s adventure, instead of failing and feeling horrible.

I should give up while I have the chance.
No. 986582 ID: 0fae41

You've made all these other successful brews! You're talking nonsense. Tweak your parameters, get a feel for the compression. Mix that bomb and let's go spelunking.
No. 986585 ID: e51896

Instead of giving up, why not take a short break to at least calm your nerves a bit especially since you're sweating from stress. And during this break, why not ask for some help from an adventurer in the mess hall who might know a thing or two about alchemy? Don't feel ashamed to ask for help, you gotta start somewhere after all.
No. 986587 ID: b1b4f3

>I’ve either overcompressed or undercompressed the essences
Do you know when you've done either of those? Knowing what range in between is correct would be useful.

>notes are bad
Make better notes then! Get started on that now. Write down how much you're compressing it this time, and then record the result.

>give up?
No. You must allow yourself the chance to fail, otherwise you cannot improve. An important part of the process is failing, and remembering those failures so you don't make the same mistakes again.
A better knowledge base would be nice though, can you get some books from somewhere?
No. 986589 ID: 8483cf
File 161207336867.png - (44.91KB , 369x385 , Failurefeelsbad.png )

But what if failure feels really really bad?
No. 986590 ID: 0fae41

Then get mad at the failure and channel that spite into getting it right. And mutagen creating. Now that, you should test on the fairy. I'm sure you'll find them eagerly agreeing to it.
No. 986591 ID: b1b4f3

Dang sorry I didn't know your name was Lady Wussington.

Is there a way to experiment with the process without using up so many ingredients? Like, maybe, set up several canisters with smaller loads that mimic the same conditions, so you can nail down what you need to do with a proper bomb?
No. 986592 ID: b5fb67


Failure is our greatest teacher.

Don't give up! Failing only feels bad for a little while, but accomplishment feels good for a long time.
No. 986593 ID: 9ad7a0

If you can't get a good feel for the compression level you need a better way of monitoring it, or to adjust the process to make it regulate itself. Can you add a dye that'll change colour based on compression level of the bomb core?
No. 986594 ID: 094652

Then use your big giant brain and find a way to make failure just sort-of-bad! You don't have to take grand risks all the time, especially when you're in a civilized base and have youth and resources to figure this out!
No. 986596 ID: 8483cf
File 161207868008.png - (76.96KB , 370x568 , thisisallsomuchtoconsider.png )

Maybe I should just reconsider this whole idea, what was I thinking? I have no good good resources on this subject and really a gravity bomb is just too much to expect at my level and there aren't any alchemists at the guild right now and this is all so much to take in and it's really important that I be at my best tomorrow so maybe I should just reconsider everything and let someone else more experienced handle things please???
No. 986597 ID: 0fae41

No. 986598 ID: b5fb67


Then just make everything else, silly.
No. 986599 ID: 9ad7a0

You have plenty of other bombs but you don't have a gravity bomb so try the gravity bomb again.
No. 986601 ID: e51896

If your that much afraid of failure over making a bomb with the outcome is just it being a dud, then... how are you going to make it as an adventurer where failure is much worse like if you lett down your teammates over a dumb decision and have them abandon you, or if failure could get you killed by a dangerous monster in one of your adventures because you made a mistake or weren't good enough??? OH NO!
No. 986602 ID: 163037

hug Dotti to feel better
No. 986603 ID: b1b4f3

Ok fine. Make some other bomb until you can research things.
No. 986646 ID: 10c07d

Definitely hug Dotti to feel better
No. 986693 ID: 5a788d

It's a gravity bomb so... weight it? Hang the bomb calorimeter from one side of a set of scales, and balance it to equilibrium. If it starts getting noticeably heavier (or lighter?) then you know you're approaching the correct mix.
No. 986713 ID: d3fc52

Honestly, you have two routes. You can push through it and maybe fail, which is probably a good choice if you want to work on your character, or you can give up for now and just learn more about the different subjects until you are comfortable working with them (if you pick this one, turn the heat off, run out of the room, and scream that there is a bomb and for everyone to get out. You don't want casualties).
Honestly, you lack confidence and you really need to work on that. Learning will definitely help you feel confident in your knowledge.


Mutagens may be tuned on an individual basis, however there will still be generalized rules for how what will work with who and why.
No. 986895 ID: 8483cf
File 161241436074.png - (360.75KB , 938x1203 , Emergencyhug.png )

I knew I wasn't good enough for a gravity bomb. I'll just make a sticky bomb! I don't care which kind!

I hurriedly dump the earth and shadow essences out of the bomb calorimeter and into a neutralizing bath of solvent. Phew! Crisis averted!

I immediately regret my decision. I've just completely wasted two gold pieces' worth of reagents.

Oh, why did I do that?!?! I need all the money I can get! I can't waste anything! I'm such an idiot! I didn't learn anything from that! I can't even fail properly!

I'm such a screw-up. I can't get anything right! I'm going to fail at adventuring, too! I'm going to freeze up and fail right in the middle of tomorrow's adventure, and Raelynn and Dotti and my fairy are all going to leave my party, or worse!

I can't handle this kind of pressure! I want to go home! I want to drown myself in my big soft bed and stuffed animals!

Wait. I have something better right here!

I burst out of the lab and, as luck would have it, spy Dotti down the hall, carrying Raelynn's dirty breakfast bowls from her room to the mess hall.


The wooden bowls clatter to the floor as I sweep her off her feet and hug her tight. She lets out an high-pitched noise somewhere between a squeal and a shriek.

I sigh contentedly and squeeze her tight. She's so fluffy I forget she just got done eating trash.
No. 986896 ID: 094652

Do you remember what you said about the carrot and the stick?

Me neither, more hugs.
No. 986897 ID: b0e140

Keep hugging Dotti until people start looking at you weird
No. 986899 ID: b0e140

Also realize that you may have used up another favor by asking Dotti to let you hug her. Get anxious over that as well and hope that Dotti isn't smart enough to count this as a favor.
No. 986927 ID: a032cb

Keep hugging until Dotti reciprocates or gets angry
No. 987101 ID: 0fae41

Get Dotti some perfume to cover up the smell of garbage.
No. 987106 ID: 8483cf
File 161264747773.png - (253.42KB , 989x1131 , DottiHug2.png )

I keep hugging my soft, slightly stinky stress solution.

Then I realize I’m tall, and Dotti is short. Her feet are dangling off the floor as I keep hugging her. This can’t be fun for her. She’s going to be so mad at me for ambushing her like this!

“I’m sorry!” I set her down quickly. “I’m so sorry! I just needed a hug so badly, and-“

Dotti turns around and nuzzles against me.

I sigh in relief and return the hug.

“I suppose we’ve both had trouble these last few days, haven’t we?”

Dotti nods, though her face is still pressed into my corset. I’ve probably got trash slime on me. I don’t care.

“I suppose this counts as my second favor for the day,” I sigh.

Dotti leans back a little and looks at me, confused.

“I ambushed you and demanded hugs. You probably didn’t like that.”

Dotti looks at me like I’ve gone crazy.

“All right, then. Forget I said anything.”

Dotti nuzzles me again.

Maybe I should reassess my opinion of her.

I should also probably get back and check on my potions, but they can wait a few more minutes. If I want, I can spend more time with Dotti, or I can check on Raelynn. I probably don’t have enough time to track down my fairy yet, unless she’s causing some kind of highly-visible havoc.
No. 987107 ID: e51896

Eh, the potions can wait. check up on Rae, and see if she appreciates Dotti cleanup work.
No. 987114 ID: afe7de

spend more time with dotti, get that attention you so rightfully deserve, oh and hugs, maybe come to some understanding with a hugs based currency system
No. 987117 ID: 0fae41

Really shouldn't leave those potions alone, with how much you worry over them... Take Dotti with you to see them!
No. 987929 ID: 8483cf
File 161324573086.png - (225.98KB , 808x1121 , Jumpscare.png )

I decide to spend more time with Dotti. The potions and bombs are fine on their own for a few minutes, but I need hugs now.

Suddenly there's an angry, shocked shout.

"Lady Kensington! What's that heart-eater doing here?! Kill it! Quickly!"

I let out a yelp. Dotti jumps into my arms.

Who's threatening my emotional support Dotti?
No. 987931 ID: e51896

It is your strict butler/servant back from home. He was sent looking for you after you left to take care of you. He's a bit over protective, not all that smart, but will serve Serah.

Also, he is a kobold.
No. 987932 ID: 12b116

It's the ghost of a skeleton that is bound to the Kensington family and is used to deliver important messages and otherwise be a general dogsbody.

I forget his name
No. 987933 ID: afe7de

It’s your personal butler/knight. He’s a dwarf with a wicked beard
No. 987934 ID: 10c07d

This. And he’s been worried sick about you ever since you left home!
No. 987941 ID: 0fae41

Your sporty fighter rival from a fellow noble house, who until yesterday was the taller one and loved to lord it over you. Well, who's looking down their nose now, lady Angelica?
No. 987942 ID: 8483cf
File 161325452746.png - (80.39KB , 500x500 , Butlerface.png )

It's a floating, disembodied phantom skull with glowing green eyes.

Oh no.

"Quickly, Lady Kensington! Dispose of this foul spirit! Before she consumes you!"

"I'm not murdering Dotti! She's soft and nice and-"

"My fears have been realized! She has already stolen my Lady's heart!" The skull bobs and weaves in midair.

"No! You're wrong! She's out of magic, she's harmless!" I squeeze Dotti tighter, and she whines nervously. "T-this isn't what it looks like! She's bound to serve me, just like you are!"

"She has bewitched you!" the skull rattles. "A fox spirit could never serve so faithfully as I! I, who have waited on your family for generations! Generations who have never left home in such a state! Your departure has worried me so for your safety, and now that I have found you at last, I see my fears were well founded! Lady Kensington, if you can hear me from your mind's prison, never fear! I will inform your father at once and save you from this terrible fate!"

"No! Don't tell Daddy!" I try and fail to fight back my panic. He can't drag me back! Not now!

I have to do something to keep my dogsbody from leaving!
No. 987944 ID: 10c07d

Uhhh he’s just a skull right? Grab him and stuff him into a bag
No. 987945 ID: b1b4f3

If he's bound to serve you, then order him to stay.
No. 987946 ID: b1b4f3

Alternatively, you could prove Dotti is serving you by getting her to do something ridiculous as a Favor. Like do a silly dance or something.
No. 987947 ID: afe7de

Stuff him in your bag! Don't let him escape.
No. 987948 ID: 094652

He's a servant with a contract and supernatural biomechanics, use a trigger phrase to shut him down.
No. 989253 ID: 8483cf
File 161439363961.png - (170.20KB , 821x889 , Tagitnbagit.png )

Oh no! Daddy never gave me the special command words for the skull servant- he must have been planning for this moment where my family's long-serving servant flies straight back to Kensington Keep and tells Daddy exactly where I am and locks me up and makes me marry whatever ugly old man is politically convenient but isn't offended by a Lady with a very strong background in alchemy!

"No!" I cry out. I grab him with my Jotund-enhanced strength and jam him into my most secure portable alchemical bag. "Getinthebag! Nownownow!"

"I say!" my servant says as he is bagged. "Why, this is violence!"

I seal him inside the bag. Crisis averted!

Dotti looks at me like I've gone crazy.

"I'm not crazy!" I say. "I just needed to solve a problem. This is a perfectly normal method of solving problems, Dotti. Shove it deep down and hope it never comes up again."

Dotti frowns.

Well, what does she know? She's a fox spirit who doesn't know anything! She hasn't had to deal with the threat of impending marriage! Foxes can't get married! That's illegal!

I should really get back to my potions. That and order Dotti to do something so she stops looking at me with that judging expression.
No. 989256 ID: 0fae41

Ask Dotti to help check your potions and notify you if one of them starts doing something strange.
No. 989259 ID: 755b54

Decide to talk to Dotti and tell her about marriage and love and conveniently leave out the fact that foxes can’t get married.
No. 989262 ID: b1b4f3

Talk to the skull while he's in the bag. No reason to wait. You're all potioned out for now anyway!
No. 989272 ID: 12b116

order dotti to marry you
No. 989273 ID: 1d109c

foxes CAN get married, marry Dotti!
No. 989275 ID: 8483cf
File 161439995613.png - (80.48KB , 475x507 , Whatislove.png )

“Okay, Dotti,” I say, pretending that everything is normal, like a good leader should. “You haven’t had breakfast except for that trash chicken, so good nutrition is important.” I pick up the discarded bowls and give them to her. “There’s food waiting for you in the mess now that you’ve helped Raelynn with hers, just like I promised. It’s good to keep your promises. It shows honor and virtu-“

“HONOR AND VIRTUE! QUITE RIGHT!” roars a voice from my bag.

I jump a foot in the air and drop the bowls. Dotti makes a high-pitched laugh like a particularly amused squeak toy.


“Oh, no…” I put a hand to my head. I should give my skull servant to my fairy, so she can keep him in her space-time inventory and shut him up. “Please be quiet…”

“I shall not cease my service!” my skull servant says. “My Lady, hear me out! Release me and I shall be free to free you from this heartless heart-eater’s spell, and you will be free to choose a suitor!”

“No! No suitors!” I slap my bag. “I told Daddy this a thousand times!”

“The decision is no longer yours!” the bag declares. “If I do not return, Count Kensington will surely give your many suitors permission to begin their own searches for your hand, free of his control at court! They will surely come calling at your door and present themselves with great aplomb! Ah, courtship! Such a fine tradition!”

“Released to… hunt me down?” I blink. “Like a common game pheasant?”

“Quite undignified! It is better you return and choose a husband in a more dignified manner. And free of this evil fox spirit’s influence! You must let love take its course naturally, and marry the best and finest man to carry on your house and care for your offspring, who I shall serve in turn!”

Dotti cocks her head.

“Love and marriage are society’s highest and noblest goals!” my bag pipes. “How could you flee from such a beautiful institution?”

“Bleh!” I stick out my tongue. “Spare me your lectures on love and marriage! Marriage is a way for old men to dole out estates and make alliances, not some glorious quest for love!”

“Just what one possessed by a fox spirit would say!” declares my servant. “The devils have no concept of such selfless acts and sacred institutions! Love is foreign to such beasts!”

“Stop saying Dotti is possessing me!!!” I groan. “You don’t know anything about fox spirits, or Dotti!”

Dotti tugs on my sleeve.

“What is it? Do you want your food now?”

No. 989277 ID: 0fae41

Hug Dotti. Again.
No. 989278 ID: 871f70

Better tell Dotti what the concept of love is.
No. 989279 ID: 1d109c

Explain to Dotti what love is through hugs and kisses
No. 989280 ID: 871f70

Also, if she is interested in love after explaining what it is, tell her you'll give her lots of it if she behaves herself.
No. 989281 ID: f37fca

Dotti wants to know about love, use a food analogy, something about how she wants to be with these drumsticks for the rest of her life but instead a piece of celery won’t let go of you and you can’t get that drumstick you really want. That’s an arranged marriage.
No. 989282 ID: b1b4f3


Tell her there's two kinds of love, familial and romantic. Familial love is like, good feelings and loyalty towards your family members. Romantic love is when you want to be with someone all the time and are willing to overlook their flaws to do that. Finally, marriage is when two people undergo a ceremony and then are expected to stay together as if they were in romantic love, and have children. It's also an exclusive arrangement, you're not allowed to behave as if you're in romantic love with anyone else.
Courting is when someone tries to give you things and treat you nicely to see if they can get you to love and marry them.

Tell the skull you will accept being courted, as the better option. If it's not an arranged marriage you can just turn them down. MAYBE one of them will be likeable enough.
No. 989291 ID: 8483cf
File 161441001647.png - (134.21KB , 727x658 , DottiHug3.png )

How do I explain love?

Do I really want to?

Dotti lets go of my sleeve. She doesn’t seem terribly interested. Maybe I should just let it go.

But what if she really doesn’t understand what it means to be loved? If that’s true, then… I don’t even want to think how horrible it would be to live like that.

I hug her. Tight. Dotti slips between my arms and sighs contentedly.

She likes hugs. No matter how good a liar she is, I know in my heart she’s not lying about that.

“Love is… well, it’s like hugging,” I say. “Love is hugs and chicken.

“Love is wanting to be close to someone for the rest of your life, and they want to be close to you too. And you share your hopes and dreams and help each other make them a reality, like if you wanted a trash chicken and I helped hunting all over the city to help you find it. But just being close to each other feels as good as having a thousand trash chickens.”

Dotti nuzzles me close.

“That’s not love,” my skull-servant says. “There is far more exchange of property involved.”

“…And then,” I say, “If you wanted a chicken, but got a celery instead, and that celery is old and mushy but you can’t get rid of it, that’s what’s called an arranged marriage and it’s an abomination.”

I let Dotti go. Dotti smiles, but she doesn’t seem to be at ease.

Is my skull-servant right? Does Dotti really not have any idea what selfless compassion is?

…And what’s his name, anyway?
No. 989292 ID: 0fae41

In life, he was Malazar the Mad, scourge of the southern seaboard. In undeath, however, his name is Mr. Jeebs.
No. 989293 ID: afe7de

In life he was ARCHIBALD because he was balding at age 7 and the name stuck.

Now he's ARCHIBEARD because of his cool beard.
No. 989294 ID: e51896

Archibeard Jeebs II
No. 989295 ID: b1b4f3

I mean you can just ask her if she's ever wanted to do something nice for someone, without wanting anything in return.
No. 989296 ID: b1b4f3

Then ask the skull the same question.
No. 989391 ID: 8483cf
File 161448390935.png - (138.15KB , 592x746 , LF Favor 2.png )

“Dotti? Can you answer me this one question before you get your food?”

Dotti nods.

“Have you ever wanted to do something that helped someone else for no reason at all, even though you wouldn’t get anything in return? Even if it hurt you a little to do it?”

Dotti stares at me.

“Um… has anyone ever helped you like that?”

Dotti’s eyes are blank for a moment, but then she squints. Her ears fold down.

She touches one paw to her bow.

“HER SILENCE IS DEAFENING!” my skull-servant shrieks. “She is as heartless as-“

“Shut up, Archibeard!”

Ah, yes. Telling Archie to shut up jogs old memories. Archibald Jeebs (formerly Malazar the Mad), or Archibeard as I called him as a child, used to be a pirate long, long ago. Then he was sentenced to serve my ancestors until his sentence was up- which turned out to be far more than would fit in one lifetime.

My ancestors weren’t very nice people, but neither was Malazar.

“Dotti, just go get your breakfast. I have to check on my potions and start some new bombs.”

“Bombs!” Archie protests. “How unladylike! You should be making potions! Potions of love and fancy!”

This is going to be a long day.


I grab a snack for myself and finish my work. It’s late in the afternoon by this point, but I’ve completed my preparations for any battles tomorrow. I wipe the sweat from my brow and leave the lab, mentally exhausted dealing with Jeebs’ constant admonitions.

The guild has filled up with adventurers shacking up for the night, and a horrible thought occurs. The new batch of adventurers will see Dotti and almost surely think she’s a threat. Given what happened yesterday- when practically the whole guild joined forces to corner her- I’m very, very worried about what might happen.

“Dotti? Dotti! Where are you?!”

I feel a tug on my sleeve and spin around. It’s Dotti! How convenient and not at all suspiciously well-timed!

“Thank goodness you’re safe!” I breathe a sigh of relief. “I was worried that someone might try to… you know.”

Dotti raises an eyebrow. She bares her teeth and slices a paw across her throat, then licks her chops.

“Yes. That.”

Dotti rolls her eyes.

“Don’t be so cavalier! I was worried about you!” I say. “Wait- what are you carrying? What have you been doing all this time, anyway?”

Dotti holds up a sign.

“Oh dear.”

She looks left, looks right, and holds up the sign again.

“Did my fairy tell you to search for this?”

Dotti nods.

“Of course she did.” I sigh. “All right, let’s grab some wine so you can fulfill your favor. Where is she?”
No. 989392 ID: 8483cf
File 161448392230.png - (32.75KB , 372x410 , Highly_Scientific_Notes.png )

We borrow a bottle of cheap rosé from the guild stores, then Dotti takes me to a storage shack behind the main building.

And it is trashed.

There are spent arrows sticking from the rafters. Shredded, empty grain sacks lie strews across the floor. Scribbled, illegible bits of parchment are strewn atop wood crates. Bruised and splattered apples are piled in three closely packed heaps.

I look for the telltale blue glow in the darkening shack and see not a flicker. My fairy is nowhere to be found.

I pick up the only legible piece of parchment. It reads:

-Razzle Dazzle Disco Attack
-Sparkle Sparkly Weapon and Sexy Dress Buff (which is also Armor)
-How to Make Friends and Influence Djinn
-Do As I Say, Not As You Do
-Om nom infinite food buff
-Fate is My Bitch
-Empathic Senses
-Stop! Arrow Time

Of the twelve spells(?), four are crossed out, four are underlined, and four have question marks.

Which are which, and why are they crossed out/underlined/question marked?
No. 989393 ID: 0fae41

-Razzle Dazzle Disco Attack
-Sparkle Sparkly Weapon and Sexy Dress Buff (which is also Armor)
-How to Make Friends and Influence Djinn
-Do As I Say, Not As You Do
-Om nom infinite food buff
-Fate is My Bitch???
-Empathic Senses
-Stop! Arrow Time

Sounds like lazy fairy is thinking of spells to invent/teach you? Or the guardian you assigned to her? Sounds good, but where did they go? Probably the bar once they got tired of experimenting.
No. 989394 ID: afe7de

-Aimbot ???
-Razzle Dazzle Disco Attack
-Portal ???
-Rewind ???
-Sparkle Sparkly Weapon and Sexy Dress Buff (which is also Armor)
-How to Make Friends and Influence Djinn
-Do As I Say, Not As You Do
-Om nom infinite food buff
-Fate is My Bitch ???
-Empathic Senses
-Stop! Arrow Time

New Spells maybe? Some of them have some dumb names though. Like who would ever use Sparkle Sparkly Weapon and sexy dress buff?
No. 989397 ID: e51896


- Sparkle Sparkly Weapon and Sexy Dress Buff (which is also Armor) (PERFECT FOR PARTIES AND LOOKING COOL!)


- Do As I Say, Not As You Do (I'm such a good influence after all!)

- Rewind (Go back and erase any mistakes I make that make Serah mad at me and love me forever more than Dotti!

Crossed out

-Om nom infinite food buff (Unhealthy, could lead to overeating and obesity. Gotta watch our figure)

- Empathic Senses (Guilt will only hold us back!)

- How to Make Friends and Influence Djinn (I'M THE ONLY FRIEND SERAH NEEDS! And I'm already better than any ol' ancient Djinn! I'm the best in fact!)

- Stop! Arrow Time (NEVER AGAIN! THE PAIN!!!! My poor wings!)


- Aimbot (What is a bot?)

- portal (portal could lead us somewhere dangerous)

- Fate is My Bitch (I don't believe in destiny, maybe useless? worth studying more)

- Reflect (Don't we already have a mirror to look at how pretty we are? Might need to learn it if we do not)
No. 989398 ID: 094652

>Pirate who hates bombs
I can see why he got caught.

Crossed Out:
Aimbot [{Increases Attack(Accuracy) of all actions}, {For some reason this spell points all offensive actions towards allied party, unacceptable}]
Razzle Dazzle Disco Attack [{Summons Disco Ball causing all enemies to dance uncontrollably, enemies may attack but only during specific time frames}, {This also causes allies to dance uncontrollably, and causes enemies to gain Damage and Attack Boost during turns which they are allowed to attack}]
How to Make Friends and Influence Djinn [{Buffs Charisma by 4, with an additional +2 to Charm saves}, {total failure, decreases Charisma}]
Stop! Arrow Time [{Causes temporary Time Stop, then conjures multiple magic armor-piercing arrows to target enemies},{All arrows puncture through user first}]

Portal [{Creates a 2-dimensional wormhole between two points in spacetime}, {Currently too tiny to pass through but capable of casting through walls or across long distances, great multi-utility, not much temporal leeway}]
Rewind [{Caster focuses on target, who obtains precognitive knowledge of potential future events by experiencing them in real-time}, {Extremely useful for risk-reward decisions}]
Om nom infinite food buff [{Causes target body to function as if it has finished digesting a complete and balanced breakfast, spell lasts for hours, target will be malnourished when the spell ends}, {Will keep a target alive for a long time, only drawback is that it must be cast periodically even after consuming normal food}]
Fate is My Bitch [{Causes one critical failure of the user's choosing to become a regular failure, spell lasts for whole day, can only be cast once a week and temporarily consumes spell slot}, {Extremely useful spell, can effectively save user's life at the low cost of one less spell slot}]

Question Mark
Do As I Say, Not As You Do [{Can order target to perform an action it has frequently performed but under specific context of caster's choosing}, {Unable to tell probability of spell working, needs research and mods}]
Reflect [{Causes Magical Spells to change velocity based on initial velocity and point of contact with user},{It works on low-grade spells but the rebound does not home in on original caster, need to find a way to make this target based on ID}]
Sparkle Sparkly Weapon and Sexy Dress Buff [{Conjures Holy Weapon and Holy Armor}, {For some weird reason both the user and the enemy party lose their sanity in the presence of these objects, no idea if that is useful or suicidal}]
Empathic Senses [{Allows User to experience senses of a target}, {Does not appear to function but targets begin to cry profusely and act drunk for some reason, possibly useful but will aggro the whole area}]
No. 989399 ID: e51896

Also, consider the reason you can't see a shining light is because Fairy may have done what you said, and trained until she was drained of all her magic, including losing her shiny fairy glow.
No. 989403 ID: b1b4f3

(comments are LF's thoughts on them)
-Razzle Dazzle Disco Attack
Heck yeah laser beams!!!
-Sparkle Sparkly Weapon and Sexy Dress Buff (which is also Armor)
Looking cool!
Finally, I can undo my mistakes! Only like 5 seconds though, gotta react fast.
It's big enough for me to go through, and probably big enough to throw bombs through!

-Stop! Arrow Time
Fires a few arrows in random directions. Useless.
-Fate is My Bitch
I don't believe in fate!
-Empathic Senses
The range on this is... high. I now know things I wish I didn't. Also, gave me a headache.
-Om nom infinite food buff
Only summons apples, half are spoiled.

What the heck this doesn't work at all? Or do I need a live target?
-How to Make Friends and Influence Djinn
Couldn't test by myself.
-Do As I Say, Not As You Do
Couldn't test! Argh!
Couldn't test, is supposed to reflect attacks.
No. 989410 ID: 894419

I'm all on board with this list
No. 989415 ID: 8483cf
File 161449106197.png - (91.72KB , 496x670 , Whereuat.png )

Suggestions for Lazy Fairy’s spell list will be accepted until next update.

This definitely looks like a spell list- and if all the sparkles and references to space-time are any clue, this is what my fairy thinks she herself might be able to cast.

“Are you sure she’s here?” I ask Dotti. Dotti sniffs the air and nods. Yes, she’s sure.

“Um… fairy?” I call out. I know fairies don’t like to give out their names, but it’s still awkward to say out loud. “Can I at least call you by a nickname or something?”

There’s no response.

“Dotti says you’re here, so please let me know if you are? I’m… starting to worry a little.”

“Yeah, yeah! I’m here!” a tiny voice calls back from the rafter. “Just leave the booze and go!”

I take a moment to process what I’ve just heard. Did my social butterfly of a fairy just tell me to leave her alone?

“Are you okay up there?”

“I’m fine! Just leave me be!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure!”

I finally manage put two and two together. “…Are you telling me to leave because you used up all your magic? Are you going to be okay if you can’t fly down from up there?”

There’s silence, then a soft flutter of wings from the rafters. “I’m, like, fine, okay?! Just leave the wine! I’ll come down soon enough!”

On one hand, my fairy is very sensitive about her glowyness, and apparently it’s scandalous for fairies to go dim. On the other hand, she can’t lie, but I’m not sure if she’s telling the whole truth about being “fine”.

I should also probably think of a way to call for her other than “my fairy.” It’s getting old.
No. 989418 ID: 0fae41

shorten 'my fairy' to Mary. Mary makes merry a little too much.
No. 989419 ID: e51896

Her name is "Lacey"
Lacey the fairy
No. 989421 ID: afe7de

Lacey is good, but what about Boozy the fairy
No. 989427 ID: b1b4f3

>fairy name?

For real though why don't you ask her?
I'm sure it's something like Moonshine or Vineleaf.
Moonshine would be a pretty good name to call her regardless.

>spell suggestions
Actually I wanna revise mine, to pick spells I want instead of what LF's preference might be.

-How to Make Friends and Influence Djinn (apparently this lets us summon spirits that can help in combat!)
-Rewind (who knows how much time rewinds, but time magic is OP regardless)
-Portal (portal!)
-Empathic Senses (read minds? would be useful for communicating with Dotti... and figuring out if she's going to behave)

crossed out
-Aimbot (guessing this is her circling around a target to enhance aim like legend of zelda, which... puts her in harm's way in exchange; seems bad.)
-Om nom infinite food buff (looks like it summons food)
-Fate is My Bitch (no idea what this actually does, but messing with fate tends not to end well, and is boring when it does end well)
-Do As I Say, Not As You Do (Geas? an all or nothing spell, I don't like it)

-Stop! Arrow Time (some kind of arrow spell)
-Razzle Dazzle Disco Attack (sounds obvious, flashy blindness spell)
-Reflect (reflect)
-Sparkle Sparkly Weapon and Sexy Dress Buff (which is also Armor) (gives her direct offense/defense? not needed if she's gonna be a summoner)
No. 989428 ID: 1d109c

Moonshine for fairy name
No. 989433 ID: b5fb67


Yep, this is the best one.
No. 989504 ID: 8483cf
File 161455598086.png - (128.87KB , 737x1186 , NapkinFairy.png )

“I’m sorry, Miss Fairy,” I say, “but we’re going to put ourselves in mortal peril tomorrow, not today. I don’t want you breaking your neck ahead of schedule.”

“Mortal peril?!” Archibeard gasps from inside my bag. “Lady Kensington, you cannot!”

“What the fuck was that?” my fairy asks.

“Just my disembodied skull servant who tracked me down and is threatening to drag me home to get married. Nothing to worry about,” I reply tersely. “I’m an adventurer now, Archie. I told you that when I left. I’m not letting you out of that bag to run off to Daddy, so either shut up or help me!”

I shock even myself with my sudden assertiveness. I guess Archie brings out the best in me. Sort of.

“Uh, okay,” my fairy says. “I was wondering why your aura felt kind of… undead-y. Now I know.”

“Yes, you do. Now will you please let me help you down?”

Silence. Then a huff. “No!”

I let out an exasperated sigh. “What possible reason could you have to refuse my help? I don’t care if your glow is gone. I can’t believe you of all fairies have a hang-up over being seen.”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you!” my fairy snipes back. “You locked me in a trunk when you wanted privacy getting changed!”

“…That’s fair,” I say. “All right. I promise to loosen up a little.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Okay, miss fairy. You want proof? I’ll help you drink this wine and more. Now will you please let me help you down?”

“Uh… deal, I guess. No backing out!”


I spring off the ground, light as a cloud. The Cloud-Manta soap from this morning hasn’t worn off yet, and I’m able to easily reach the rafters. I grab on with one hand, and extend the other, palm up. My newfound strength and height, combined with the soap, is more than to let me grip the beam tight. I look around for the source of the voice, and find my fairy on the same beam I’ve latched on to.

“Whoa,” my fairy says, taken aback. “I didn’t know humans could fly.”

“And I didn’t know you were wearing a… napkin?”

My fairy shuffles her feet nervously. She barely makes eye contact. “I was being responsible with our money.” She quickly hops on to my palm, and I float us down gently.

Dotti looks at my fairy and licks her chops, eliciting a terrified shriek.

“No! Bad Dotti!” I turn to shield my fairy with my body. “That wasn’t funny!”

Dotti smiles.

“She’s gonna eat me!”

“The beast shows its true colors! Dispose of it!”

“Shut up, Archibeard! Say you’re sorry, Dotti! The contract says you have to treat her with courtesy and respect! Do you want me to break it and kick you out?”

Dotti narrows her eyes, but she gives a deep curtsy and keeps her eyes down to the floor in what is presumably remorse.

“I should zap her,” my fairy says. “I can still enforce the contract, even without my own magic. She’s in default.”

“She was joking. Don’t zap her.”

My fairy huffs.

“Let’s just pop the cork on this wine and talk it out,” I say. “I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

I pluck a tiny alchemist’s tool from my belt and uncork the wine. It’s normally used to prime bombs, but for this it also seems appropriate. I set the wine on a box and realize I didn’t bring glasses. My fairy doesn’t care, though. She somehow summons up the strength to kick the bottle so hard that the base pivots straight out and neck falls into her tiny grip. She chugs the flowing wine like a champ.

No. 989505 ID: 8483cf
File 161455603574.png - (140.20KB , 824x1092 , Moonshine.png )

“Classy lady like you probably needs a glass, huh?” my fairy smiles once she’s had more than she should logically be able to drink.

“Give me that,” I say, and take a swig of my own. The rosé is sweet and has notes of cherry. It’s not bad, for something the guild had on the bottom shelf. I don’t even choke.

“Nice,” my fairy says in appreciation.

Dotti reaches for the bottle.

“None for you,” I say. “You can’t joke about eating party members and expect to be rewarded. Have you even had wine before?”

Dotti crosses her arms and whines.

“That’s what I thought.”

My fairy takes another herculean swig from the bottle. I shake my head. “That’s amazing. How did you even learn that?”

“Necessity is the mother of party tricks! And I have lots of needs!”

“I bet you do.” I take the bottle from her and help myself. It’s a big bottle. Or, it was. “Oh, sweet savior. We’re going to need more wine at this rate.”

“Or a bottle of rum!

“Shut up, Archibeard!”

“I like this guy! He’s trying to get you laid, hates Dotti, and parties hard!” my fairy says. “Hey, Archibeard! Hi! I’m your new best friend!”

“Charmed! What may I call you?”

“Serah’s Fairy!”

“Hello, Serah’s Fairy!”

“This is getting old,” I say. “Hey. Fairy. Can I just call you something other than, you know, Fairy?”

“Do you have to?” my fairy asks. “I like that name just fine.”

“We’re risking our lives together and are bound by a hastily-signed contract with questionable benefits. I’d say we should be on at least a first-name basis.”

“Uh. I guess. I haven’t really… you know, had an adventurer before. Names are important, you know?” My fairy takes a drink and a minute to think. “I guess I can tell you my name. We’re already magically linked. You could probably find it out anyway. But! But but but!” She looks at Dotti and wags her finger. “Dotti doesn’t get to know it! For obvious reasons!”

Dotti puts on her most innocent face.

“So whisper it in my ear or something,” I say.

“Dotti has big, fat ears! She could totally hear it. I shouldn’t tell you as long as Dotti’s in the same city as us!”

“Fat ears?” I can’t help but giggle at how ridiculous that sounds. The wine is starting to get to me, I can feel it.

Dotti, shocked, puts a paw to the tops of her ears. She pats them self-consciously.

“Fine, Fairy. Dotti, as my second favor for the day, I order you to grab one of these grain sacks, go to the other end of the shack and scream into the bag as long and as loud as you can.”

Dotti blinks. She looks at me questioningly, like I’m drunk or something. I nod. Yes, she should do it. My fairy nods too. “No eavesdropping!”

Dotti picks up a sack and goes to the other end of the shack and lets out a muffled, high-pitched squeak-squeal of ungodly fox frustration.

I hold out my hand. My fairy hops on my palm and I lift her up to my ear.

“Hey, there,” she whispers. “I’m Moonshine. Nice ta’ meet ya.”

“That’s a lovely name,” I giggle. “Nice to meet you too.”

I set Moonshine down on a box just as Dotti runs out of breath. Dotti, flush red even through her fox fur (somehow) sits down next to us, wearing an expression of a fox spirit utterly done with life and everything in it.
No. 989507 ID: 8483cf
File 161455607569.png - (126.87KB , 1289x559 , Lounging_Fairy.png )

“So that’s my true name,” Moonshine says, lounging on the box, “But you all can call me Landi. Actually, everyone here except Dotti, ‘cause she can’t call me anything at all! Ha!”

Dotti turns even redder. I should say something, but the wine is hitting me a little too hard to act like a proper leader person. “That’s mean! You’re mean, Landi! Landi! Landi, Landi, Landi! How’d you get that nickname, Laaaaaaaaaan-di?”

“Long story, and I think I might have missed a few parts of it I was there for.”

We both polish off the bottle.

“What’s that spell list, anywahy?” I ashk. “You trying to make friends with Djinn? Make fate your beeeeeeeeyatch?

“Please never do that again,” Landi groans. “For both our sakes. And yes! Yes, I was trying to remember a lot of really cool spells I should know. But I don’t think some are worth remembering or relearning. I think I may have pissed off all the Djinn I know. Especially the Spirit of Western Winds.”

“What’d you do to her?”

“I think I stole her panties. Maybe. It’s unclear.”

“Oh! Well then you should give them back!” I suddenly remember the panties Landi shoved in my face a while back. “Those were very nice panties! I want panties with gems in them like those! Pretty panties!”

“You’re drunk,” Landi smiles.

“No, you’re drunk! I’m party leader! I’m the boss lady!”

“Yes. Yes, you are.”

I hear a stifled snuffling noise that sound suspiciously like a fox trying not to laugh. I turn and spy Dotti watching all this with growing amusement.

“No laughing! Laughing at the boss lady is illegal!” I boop her snout. “Boop!”

Dotti covers her booper.

“Where’s Rae Rae?” I ask Landi. “She’s smart and not drunk. She should decide what we do with the rest of our day.”

“But you’re the boss lady,” Landi says. “And the boss lady gets what she wants.”

“Yeah, I am! Yeah, I do!”

What does the boss lady want?

Decide what to do with the rest of your day. This decision will have consequences. Awesome consequences.
No. 989512 ID: e51896

You know what, now that you are drunk and confident, how about we try and make that Gravity bomb again? or hell, even a mutagen with your fairy!

That, or just hang out with the adventurers at the guild! maybe dance even!
No. 989515 ID: e51896

Though if you are still not drunk confident enough to make a gravity bomb, we can try to make another Solvent Bomb, cause why not.

Maybe make both!
No. 989517 ID: b1b4f3

GRAVITY BOMB- wait maybe we shouldn't make explosives while drunk.

Go find some quest you can do for the adventurer's guild. Do it.
No. 989519 ID: 094652

Spend the rest of the day researching futa transformations - whatever those are, because you wonder why your [] had whole magazines you were magically censored from seeing.
No. 989528 ID: 0fae41

Finish your potion brews first. Replenish your fairy's mana. And when that's all said and done, go looking for more ingredients with Dotti! You can collect flowers and have a nice picnic and Jeebs can clean up after.
No. 989542 ID: afe7de

You’re drunk and having a good time with your fairy, why not strip and dance with them, clothes are so restricting while you’re drunk. And then after getting the excess energy out decide that you’re finally brave enough to attempt the GRAVITY BOMB again, maybe this little liquid courage is what you needed to get it right this time.

Also give Dotti a smooch on her booper as soon as she uncovers it, she might have threatened Landi, but she’s still a good girl for listening and covering her head/screaming to not hear her real name.
No. 989675 ID: e51896

To add to my suggestion >>989512 >>989515, ask Landi if you can borrow the Lucky Panties to wear to help give you luck in making the gravity bomb
No. 989720 ID: 27edeb

Spend the evening doting on Dotti. She was awfully sweet with you before with the hugging, and she's been awfully tolerant of the jokes at her expense. A little love and positivity could help build your bond so she'll be happier to do things for you in the long run.

Other than that, I recommend spending the evening on stress relief. You're getting too drunk to reliably and safely do something productive like potion brewing. You're putting your life on the line in the near future, it'd be good to come into it as relaxed and happy as possible. Whether that means strip poker, messing around with make up, telling horrible jokes, cuddling, doing up Dotti's fur in horrible hair-dos, whatever it may be, we want to be fresh and ready for what comes tomorrow.
No. 989721 ID: 3637bf

so wholesome I can't help but support it.
No. 989725 ID: 9263d2

Also support.
Stay in your room for the rest of the day/night to cool off so nothing bad happens. In fact, just go to bed early, dream of something abstract.

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