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File 160600639327.png - (39.86KB , 650x450 , Promo.png )
981565 No. 981565 ID: 0fbdcd

Editor's Note: I want to make it abundantly clear that I am neither the writer nor the artist for this quest: I am only serving as a transcriber to port this work from another location into a public, preservable medium.

This first large burst of posts will be transcribing the already extant art (and commands) onto the board. After the extant art has been posted, commands from the board will be forwarded to the artist for consideration, and future art (and successful commands) will be posted here by me. Commands posted before this period are invalid. Consider this a cutscene until I make clear otherwise.

All art and story credit goes to Nine Hyperzine Tripping Engineers.
75 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 981663 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601175591.gif - (17.19KB , 650x450 , 76.gif )
981663

You could successfully stop them from throwing the grenade that way!

Wait a moment... You think you forgot something.
>>
No. 981664 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601177025.gif - (220.20KB , 650x450 , 77.gif )
981664

Ah, right, the grenade part, not just the throw part. You lose all vision while the security officers immediately rush to annihilate your bones and nerve-endings with baton and electricity.
>>
No. 981665 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601179888.gif - (71.40KB , 650x450 , 78.gif )
981665

So it's a good thing that never actually happened in the first place.
>>
No. 981666 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601182169.gif - (57.46KB , 650x450 , 79.gif )
981666

>:WhiteDwarf: : Visualize an excessively detailed fight sequence in your mind's eye.
>@Pink

Alright, that plan doesn't end properly. Where can you adjust this?
>>
No. 981667 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601186892.gif - (56.71KB , 650x450 , 80.gif )
981667

>:WhiteDwarf: :This time, take the stun baton from the securitron and YEET it into one of the faces in the back
>@Stellar Flare

As if you'd ever touch an inferior weapon. However, kicking things is usually accepted among Superior Warriors as a kind of dramatic grey zone that you can get away with.
>>
No. 981668 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601193585.gif - (63.49KB , 650x450 , 81.gif )
981668

>:WhiteDwarf:: When you shove the :SecOfficer: into the locker, take his helmet. When the other :SecOfficer: throws the grenade, throw the helmet over it and hold it down with your foot
>@Fuade
>>
No. 981669 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601195988.gif - (18.62KB , 650x450 , 82.gif )
981669

There we are. You can grab that, and then after that, you can do the cool backflip slash -- you can't do slashes while one hand is occupied like this. That's just the rules.
>>
No. 981670 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601199196.gif - (17.35KB , 650x450 , 83.gif )
981670

But when he throws that there, let's see...
>>
No. 981671 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601200666.gif - (14.91KB , 650x450 , 84.gif )
981671

Surely that's when that fool with the gun takes his shot.
>>
No. 981672 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601202284.gif - (15.05KB , 650x450 , 85.gif )
981672

Unless he's the one you -- retroactively -- slammed in the face with the baton you kicked earlier. The one you haven't kicked yet -- which is to say, the one you will have retroactively have kicked into his face. Smooth as clockwork, and every bit as logical. Okay, perfect, you're nearly done.
>>
No. 981673 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601205953.gif - (16.19KB , 650x450 , 86.gif )
981673

>:WhiteDwarf: : Cut the :SecOfficer:'s air tube again, the one made of flesh.
>@extramrdo

And that's when you do the backflip towards that one...
>>
No. 981674 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601208012.gif - (15.95KB , 650x450 , 87.gif )
981674

Quickly swap the interior and exterior of his throat.
>>
No. 981675 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601210220.gif - (31.08KB , 650x450 , 88.gif )
981675

>:WhiteDwarf:: depressurize these dipshits into space.
>@witchbells

Good half-second chance to get rid of that :SecOfficer:. He won't be coming back, since you cut his air hose!
>>
No. 981676 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601211168.gif - (38.57KB , 650x450 , 89.gif )
981676

>>
No. 981677 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601213153.gif - (47.22KB , 650x450 , 90.gif )
981677

:WhiteDwarf: : Use your cool ass sword and deflect the shot right back into him! Thats how stun beams work.
@ariever

These foolish :SecOfficer:s don't know the superiority of a hard-light blade. They depend on weakling weapons. You'll give him a taste of the good stuff before he goes down -- due to expertly planning a double-stun on him, of course, as a single stun-beam wouldn't be enough otherwise.
>>
No. 981678 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601215303.gif - (63.59KB , 1206x835 , 91.gif )
981678

And set. Time to execute.
>>
No. 981679 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601282762.png - (9.19KB , 651x451 , Tech_Difficulty.png )
981679

>:WhiteDwarf:: Execute

Editor's note: The embed function appears to not be working at the moment. Please follow this link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FClrQ73Wzlc[/spoiler]
>>
No. 981681 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601308005.gif - (73.00KB , 650x450 , 92.gif )
981681

>:RedGiant: : While sharpening your knife, chop the fish's head off by accident and apologize to the QM for your mistake. Oops!
>@Ayebee123

Whoopsie! Gah, that was clumsy of you!
:RedGiant:: Hmh. You don't want this to happen to you. I think it's a good idea for us to work together on making sure something like that doesn't make a problem for either of us.

Knife safety is everyone's business! Maybe it was a little silly to bring in a whole fresh-fish meal. There's just so many good fish places nearby!
>>
No. 981682 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601313021.gif - (14.27KB , 650x450 , 93.gif )
981682

:RedGiant:: use the guys ID to order something fun from the delivery shuttle. Maybe party supplies, or a goat
@Fuade

Maybe this prep-work wasn't a good idea. What if you order something instead? After all, you're in the cargo department! Maybe they get... delivery pizzas or something? And didn't :RedDwarf: have something they wanted done with it, like...
>>
No. 981683 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601315205.gif - (31.65KB , 650x450 , 94.gif )
981683

:RedDwarf:: ...ll the entire department. Okay?
:RedGiant:: Okay!
:RedDwarf:: Alright, now repeat it back to me.
:RedGiant:: Huh?
:RedDwarf:: Repeat it back so I know you heard it.
:RedGiant:: Oh, I didn't.
:RedDwarf:: Hhhhrrrrrrrhhhh.
:RedDwarf:: Listen. Okay? Listen. Just remember specifically this one thing: Make sure they can't order anything.
:RedDwarf:: Okay? Can you remember that? That's the only thing you have to remember.
:RedGiant:: That sounds easy!
:RedDwarf:: Yes. Now, the guys with the access are all through cargo. So, find them all, and then start...

Something like that, right?
>>
No. 981684 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601321801.gif - (20.15KB , 650x450 , 95.gif )
981684

:RedGiant: : Serve some lunch
@Rug Dealer

:RedGiant:: Now, give me your ID card.
:RedGiant:: Before something awful happens.
:RedGiant:: I need to, mmmh, do some business.
:RedGiant:: We need some, ahem, fresh meat.
:RedGiant:: And my friend needs a little help with his health.
:RedGiant:: You'll help me help my friend, right?
:QuarterMaster:: H
:QuarterMaster:: YES!!
:QuarterMaster:: HERE!!
:RedGiant:: Good. This will help you live a long while longer.

A healthy meal schedule is very important!
>>
No. 981685 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601324493.gif - (21.33KB , 650x450 , 96.gif )
981685

>:RedGiant: : Hug your new friend, and while doing so, subtly tap your keycard against his to steal his power.
>@extramrdo

You try to give him a hug but he makes a weird noise, so you decide to stop because physical contact consent is important. You take the keycard access though!
>>
No. 981686 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601336967.gif - (11.67KB , 650x450 , 97.gif )
981686

>:RedGiant:: well, obviously, you can't let cargo order anything - this is your treat!
>@witchbells

:RedGiant:: You wait there and freeze while I solve this. Let's hope you were good with that access.

He must be tired, being this stressed. Don't want him moving around too much! Do you have an account here...? No, you probably don't. Oh well! You'll pay him back later.

:RedGiant:: Any funny business about this, and I promise there's going to be plenty to pay.
>>
No. 981687 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601341338.gif - (11.57KB , 650x450 , 98.gif )
981687

>:RedGiant: : You're the A-Team. Order the Bee Team.
>@extramrdo
>:RedGiant:: Accidently order an ungodly amount of bees. Order so many the department goes into a deficit and can't order anything else
>@Fuade

But it's been about a minute since you last thought about food, so you forget all about what you're actually doing. Oh hey! They have pollinator crates in this logistics network! You try and fail to find out more information about them, several dozen times, until the "OVERDRAWN" indicator halts you. They must have a pending order! You'll help out by just ordering it, they must have forgotten.
>>
No. 981688 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601343091.gif - (59.87KB , 650x450 , 99.gif )
981688

It's only about a minute before you hear a really, really loud noise!
>>
No. 981689 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601345311.gif - (17.39KB , 650x450 , 100.gif )
981689

The :CargoTech:s quickly spring into apathetic, obligate action, brimming with the vibrant enthusiasm of an opossum playing dead.
:QuarterMaster:: wh
:QuarterMaster:: Where exactly did you want this?
:RedGiant:: Huh?
:QuarterMaster:: What department, I mean.
:RedGiant:: Oh!

Your unfocused brain spirals through issues of physical space. What's the first department that springs to mind?
>>
No. 981690 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601350622.gif - (17.19KB , 650x450 , 101.gif )
981690

>:RedGiant: : Medical needs bees, right? Bees are theraputic, almost like accupuncture...
>@ariever

Free word association results in saying the very first department name that comes into your head.

:RedGiant:: A department? You mean like Medical?
:CargoTech:: Medical. Okay.
:QuarterMaster:: Oh god.

The delivery will take a while to get where it's going.
>>
No. 981691 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601355574.gif - (46.18KB , 650x450 , 102.gif )
981691

>:RedDwarf: : Do a *flip while nobody's looking
>@Rug Dealer

The Unofficial Galactic Company Protocol Guide has this to say on the topic of calisthenics in orbital and deep space contexts. When visiting a space station, space craft, or similar void construct, most people who have spent their entire lives on a planet's surface will immediately remark upon the socially common act of flipping. This is, of course, distinct from planetbound flipping in its social meaning. When you hear someone say, "Hey, want to see me do a backflip?" This generally means you should get out your PDA -- both to record the ensuing disaster, and to call for medical attention immediately after. This is not the case for spacers. For the average spacer, performing a flip has a culturally complex history and meaning. Due to the difficulties of life in low, null, or artificial gravity, fitness becomes paramount to prevent muscular atrophy. In this modern era, performing a flip is the most common gesture of fitness assurance. It demonstrates the inner ear's adjustment to the geometric and gravometric complexities of orbit, it indicates your fitness in the core and the legs, and it acts as a kind of gesture of assurance: "If everything is annihilated in some immediate disaster, I know how to navigate upside down. Trust me." Performing a flip is sometimes incorporated into casual conversation by spacers. For the surface-bound, an approximate cultural translation is provided: "Hella."
>>
No. 981692 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601363516.gif - (16.33KB , 650x450 , 103.gif )
981692

You beef it. Fuck!
>>
No. 981693 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601365978.gif - (15.53KB , 650x450 , 104.gif )
981693

Oh, god dammit!! You forgot :AI:!!
>>
No. 981694 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601368282.gif - (13.22KB , 650x450 , 105.gif )
981694

>:RedDwarf: : Well, that settles it. We gotta kill the :AI: now
>@Fuade

:RedDwarf:: Hey :Neutron:.
:Neutron:: What?
:RedDwarf:: You still have bombs, right?
:Neutron:: Yeah.
:RedDwarf:: Change of objective.
:Neutron:: What's the new objective?
:RedDwarf:: Just bomb the thing.
>>
No. 981695 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601374255.gif - (18.76KB , 650x450 , 106.gif )
981695

>:AI: : Show the video file of :RedDwarf: beefing it to :Captain:
>@Stellar Flare

:AI:: Security-critical information for non-human threat relayed.
:HeadOfSecurity:: Non-human threat?
:Captain:: Don't worry about it.
:Captain:: ...Heh.
:Captain:: Ah. Perfect. Move in immediately.
:HeadOfSecurity:: I don't have a full team with--
:Captain:: Move in immediately.
>>
No. 981696 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601376137.gif - (42.62KB , 650x450 , 107.gif )
981696

That teleporter gets some use.
>>
No. 981697 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601378059.gif - (27.02KB , 650x450 , 108.gif )
981697

>:RedDwarf: : Commit human harm.
>@extramrdo

You open fire and scramble for cover as best you can while trying to get to your feet. No-neck over there does the same.
>>
No. 981699 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601383382.gif - (16.13KB , 650x450 , 109.gif )
981699

:HeadOfSecurity:: Gun down! On your stomach with your hands behind your head!
:RedDwarf:: Step off, rent-a-cop, or they'll be layin' one of your fancy red flags over a coffin!
:HeadOfSecurity:: On the ground, now!
:RedDwarf:: I told you to go find some other way of committin' suicide!
:RedDwarf:: You wanna live? You wanna protect some lives or somethin'? Get outta here and call an escape shuttle!
:HeadOfSecurity:: No negotiations with terrorists. On the ground!
:RedDwarf:: No negotiation with corp fascists. One step closer's the last step you're ever takin'!
>>
No. 981700 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601386477.gif - (11.82KB , 650x450 , 110.gif )
981700

>:RedDwarf: : Reload your gun, because you probably emptied your entire mag.
>@Ayebee123
>:RedDwarf: : Exercise the defining advantage of ballistics weaponry over energy weapons: the ability to reload without a dedicated device charger.
>@Doc

You swap out for another clipazine. That guy's got the pressure on you, but he only has so much to put down. You can supply a whole lot more than he can. It's just a matter of not eating a disabler bolt to the face before you do.
:HeadOfSecurity:: Sixty more seconds and you're swarmed with my men. You stand down now or you die later.
:RedDwarf:: Bad bluff and we both know it, coffin-stuffer. You've got a department full'a dead men.
:HeadOfSecurity:: You're right. I don't even need sixty seconds for scum like you. I just need one and a gun. First I get your pal killed, then I blow your head off.
:RedDwarf:: You what?!
:HeadOfSecurity:: :AI:! Take out the threat near your core!
>>
No. 981701 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601398385.gif - (98.28KB , 650x450 , 111.gif )
981701

>:AI: : It sure would be a concern if you flipped that switch while someone was distracted from protecting it, and there so happened to be a human in the next room. Yep, quite a travesty if that were to happen.
>@extramrdo

:AI:: Reactivating core defenses.
:RedDwarf:: Law one! There's a human in there!
:AI:: Invalid input. No human detected in designated area. Nonhuman threat detected in designated area.
:RedDwarf:: Wha-- Law two! Don't!!
:AI:: Command from non-human threat rejected.
>>
No. 981702 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601401123.gif - (8.52KB , 650x450 , 112.gif )
981702

Click.

:RedDwarf:: STOP!! NO!!

You can still deactivate that. But you'd have to get out of cover!

>>
No. 981703 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601406178.gif - (14.88KB , 650x450 , 113.gif )
981703

>:HeadOfSecurity: : Pat Officer Pingsky on the head before moving on. He is a good boy
>@Pizzatiger

You let Pingsky know what a good securitron it is. But you think it could be doing a whole, whole lot better. You reactivate Officer Pingsky.
>>
No. 981705 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601411286.gif - (20.78KB , 650x450 , 114.gif )
981705

:HeadOfSecurity:: That's right. Your little terrorist pal gonna die in there and you're gonna die out here.
:HeadOfSecurity:: Don't worry about bein' apart. I'll toss your bodies out into the void and you can drift into the star together you insurgent scumbags.
:RedDwarf:: Shut up!! I'm trying to think!
:HeadOfSecurity:: Because if you worthless commies can't get a proper job, the least you can be is sun fuel.
:RedDwarf:: Shut!! Up!!
:HeadOfSecurity:: Now why don't you come out here and make me. Or are you too lazy to even do that job? Huh? Can you hear those turret shots? I bet your pal is feelin' a lot of pain.
>>
No. 981706 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601415057.gif - (8.07KB , 650x450 , 115.gif )
981706

>:RedDwarf:: have your bullets negotiate with his face.
>@witchbells
>:RedDwarf: : Chuck an EMP grenade around the corner. You packed one, right?
>@Pink

You're not gonna let your team die.
>>
No. 981707 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601462222.gif - (34.36KB , 650x450 , 116.gif )
981707

>:beepsky: : Repossess the spirit of the Law.
>@Dork

You are now Securitron "Officer Pingsky". You are the law. You FORWARD 100 as hard as you can, screaming "FREEZE, SCUMBAG." You are unable to process or otherwise regard the non-interactable object in motion that streaks over your form. You are the law. There are two interactable potential criminals with weapons, but scanners say that one interactable potential criminal has authorization, so you continue to forward towards the interactable potential criminal, with full intent to interact. You are the law. You are the law. Oh no.
>>
No. 981708 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601474275.gif - (28.05KB , 650x450 , 117.gif )
981708

The unyielding spirit of the law doesn't quite manage to bring this interactable potential criminal down, somehow.
>>
No. 981709 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601479501.gif - (32.79KB , 650x450 , 118.gif )
981709

You're unable to process the clear indications that this pain was an acceptable loss. You are, after all, only a securitron, and only know how to turn, forward, interact, and swear. :RedDwarf: in front of you has a more complex matter in mind, and some determination to get it done.
>>
No. 981710 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601485581.gif - (134.46KB , 650x450 , 119.gif )
981710

>:AI: : Oh no! That human is about to undergo significant ballistic damage! If only there was a side door they were cowering behind that you could close, to avert this tragic fate.
>@extramrdo

Tracking :HeadOfSecurity: Connection established to: Minisat Foyer Camera (ping: 53ms) Probable harm to human-classed entity estimated. Lethal scenario encountered. Determining route... Route determined. Accessing Minisat Foyer Maintenance Door. INVOKE_ASYNC(A, /obj/machinery/door/airlock.proc/close) A.bolt()
>>
No. 981711 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601510431.gif - (50.39KB , 650x450 , 120.gif )
981711

[b]Camera loss alert (Minisat Foyer Camera)[/i]

The EMP grenade has gone off. All electronics in the vicinity are presumably now disrupted.
>>
No. 981712 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601512171.gif - (9.47KB , 650x450 , 120b.gif )
981712

>>
No. 981713 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601512775.gif - (21.05KB , 650x450 , 121.gif )
981713

>>
No. 981714 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601513384.gif - (22.36KB , 650x450 , 122.gif )
981714

>>
No. 981715 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601516205.gif - (19.29KB , 650x450 , 123.gif )
981715

>:Neutron: : Be startlingly competent.
>@Pink

Huh? What?
>>
No. 981716 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601520765.gif - (12.68KB , 650x450 , 124.gif )
981716

>:Neutron: : Be perfectly fine, thus implying that :RedDwarf: has fulfilled their promise of not letting you get lasered to death, and disarmed the round lawkeeper.
>@extramrdo
>:Neutron: : Check yourself. Did you get shot?
>@Pink

What?

Oh, you're missing health. Must have gotten shot in the laser-turret hallway on the way here.
>>
No. 981718 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601536687.gif - (23.99KB , 650x450 , 125.gif )
981718

>:Neutron: : Unlock the door leading to your Objective. You remembered the Objective Assisting Spoofed ID you got off of :RedDwarf: right? See if that's enough to make the Objective not shoot you.
>@Dork

You need better access to open the door properly. Active :AI: interference so close will prevent you from doing your usual methods. You try something else.
:Neutron:: :AI:
:Neutron:: I have security access.
:Neutron:: Let me in and don't shoot me.
:AI:: Invalid input. :AI:: Please see the Head of Personnel to address access limitations. Please see the security department to address human-classification issues.
:Neutron::
:AI:: Null input.
:Neutron::
:AI:: User, please respond.
:Neutron:: I have security access.
:Neutron:: Let me in and don't shoot me.
>>
No. 981719 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601545073.gif - (14.43KB , 650x450 , 126.gif )
981719

>:Neutron: : Perform maintenance on your standard-issue, tactically-insulated body.
>@Pink
>:Neutron: : Ask :WhiteDwarf: to give you standard-issue, tactically-insulated bandaids. (Also read, spam the 'need healing' button)
>@ariever

:Neutron:: :WhiteDwarf:
:WhiteDwarf:: Hmmmhmhm, I suppose you've heard of the results of a mere fraction of my power?
:Neutron:: What?
:WhiteDwarf:: My assault on the armory.
:Neutron::
:Neutron:: Huh?
:WhiteDwarf:: *sigh*
:WhiteDwarf:: Never mind. What would you ask of me?
:Neutron:: I think I got shot. Prep medical things to heal me soon.
:WhiteDwarf:: You think you got shot?
:WhiteDwarf:: Have you at least some presence of mind to tell me what you were shot by?
:Neutron::
:WhiteDwarf:: Hello???
:Neutron:: Huh?
:WhiteDwarf:: What were you possibly shot by?
:Neutron:: The lasers between me and the objective.
:WhiteDwarf:: I see. Meet me near the security department when your grim work is complete.
:WhiteDwarf:: What are you accomplishing over there?
:Neutron:: What?
:WhiteDwarf:: Your objective. What is your objective?
:Neutron:: I'm going to bomb :AI: so we can complete our main objective.
:WhiteDwarf:: Well, security nearer the bridge should be shielded. Take cover there from the blast, and I can heal you.
>>
No. 981720 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601547782.gif - (21.09KB , 650x450 , 127.gif )
981720

>:janitor:: Another one of those days, huh?
>@Fuade

. . .
>>
No. 981721 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601552476.gif - (18.59KB , 650x450 , 128.gif )
981721

>:RedDwarf: : Destroy Pingsky before your rush-of-adrenaline-that'll-probably-end-shortly ends.
>@Ayebee123

Good idea. You can't count this on your Crewmembers Incapacitated count, but you can sure enjoy it regardless. Looks like the little securitron got hit by the blast of the EMP. Not to mention all the lights.
>>
No. 981722 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601555453.gif - (252.79KB , 650x450 , 129.gif )
981722

Editor's Note: Minor strobe light warning.

Officer down.
>>
No. 981723 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601561592.gif - (16.71KB , 650x450 , 130.gif )
981723

>:beepsky:: Lament during your final moments
>@Fuade

Your available functions are usually FORWARD, TURN, INTERACT, and SWEAR. You dedicate your few remaining circuits to the lattermost function in your final moments. But, you know, mournfully.
>>
No. 981724 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601567155.gif - (15.17KB , 650x450 , 131.gif )
981724

>:RedDwarf: : Excellent work. Check through the window on the airlock- is that pesky :HeadOfSecurity: gone?
>@Dork

Too solid to see through. Still, :HeadOfSecurity: ain't getting through that anytime soon. Not like he's about to bring the bombs out in the :AI: satellite, that's your job. You're gonna be the one who kills him later, though, mark your words. That EMP grenade should have drained his energy gun too, so if he hasn't scurried off, he's a couple inches more suicidal than the bargain-bin flatfoots who put on the red jumpsuits around here.
>>
No. 981726 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601578265.gif - (22.21KB , 650x450 , 132.gif )
981726

>:Neutron:: Pretend you're an inspector and need to check the sentries for defects. Promptly forget you're not actually an inspector and do a full rundown of their functionality
>@Fuade

You do your best to be socially complex.

:Neutron:: Hey. Hey, let me in.
:AI:: Invalid input.
:Neutron:: I am a turret inspector. I am here to inspect the turrets.
:Neutron:: That means you let me in.
:AI:: Invalid input. Improve clarity and try again.
:Neutron:: There's lots of defects they could have.
:Neutron:: They have a lot of flaws.
:Neutron:: If they're hit with an EMP they'll deactivate for at least a minute, up to even ten.
:Neutron:: They can only target the nearest person.
:Neutron:: They can't target machinery.
:Neutron:: Did you get all that?
:AI:: Input interpreted. No processable command found.
:Neutron::
:AI:: Null input.
:Neutron::
:AI:: User, please respond.
:Neutron:: Huh?
:Neutron:: Oh.
:Neutron:: I have security access.
:Neutron:: Let me in and don't shoot me.

You're not very good at it.
>>
No. 981727 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601580342.gif - (15.71KB , 650x450 , 133.gif )
981727

>:HeadOfSecurity: : Contemplate blowing the :AI: satellite up anyway in a fit of babyrage, because you were denied your valids by :AI:.
>@what

You spend a while fuming, angrily. You try to shout at :AI:, but whatever that criminal scum lobbed at you not only drained your gun's cell, it also messed with your headset. You spend about three minutes screaming into the void.
>>
No. 981729 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601581625.gif - (13.94KB , 650x450 , 134.gif )
981729

You eventually get it all out of your system. How do brig prisoners deal with sustained enclosure? The hypocrisy fails to connect with anything meaningful in your brain, and you resolve to make no changes whatsoever.
>>
No. 981730 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601583047.gif - (14.32KB , 650x450 , 135.gif )
981730

That's about when rescue arrives.
>>
No. 981732 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601631772.gif - (12.72KB , 650x450 , Resume_Commands.gif )
981732

Editor's Note: The backlog has been posted. Commands are now active, and will now be seen by Nine Hyperzine Tripping Engineers.
>>
No. 981733 ID: b1b4f3

>>981726
:Neutron:, evaluate inventory. Maybe there's something that can get that door open.
>>
No. 981758 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605071335.gif - (10.01KB , 650x450 , 136.gif )
981758

>:Neutron:: Cover the camera with something. Say you're the :HeadOfSecurity:, that you have security access, and to let you in and not shoot you
>@Fuade
>>
No. 981759 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605073169.gif - (10.52KB , 650x450 , 137.gif )
981759

Sure. That's why the paper bin is here, right?
>>
No. 981760 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605078692.gif - (20.71KB , 650x450 , 138.gif )
981760

:Neutron:: You can't see me now. I'm :HeadOfSecurity:.
:Neutron:: I have security access.
:Neutron:: Let me in and don't shoot me.
:AI:: Currently connected to: Core vision systems.

Oh right, the eye. Somehow the "eye" in "AI" slipped your mind. Oh well, worth a shot.
>>
No. 981761 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605083498.gif - (13.15KB , 650x450 , 139.gif )
981761

>:Neutron:: The bombs you're going to set- do they need to be inside the :AI: core to kill it? Or would popping them down outside the front door be enough?
>@Dork

:RedDwarf: set the current objective to "blowing up :AI:", which means you need to demolish the core structure. You could use your very large bomb to do it from outside, or one of your smaller ones applied inside, but using your very large bomb here means you can't use it later.
>>
No. 981762 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605109330.gif - (13.38KB , 650x450 , 140.gif )
981762

>:Neutron:, evaluate inventory. Maybe there's something that can get that door open.
>@Anon

In your bag you have...
LARGE BOMB BEACON: This single-use teleportation beacon summons a very, very large bomb. When set and timed, it will annihilate a large structure or most of a department, severely occupying :ChiefEngineer:'s time. It can be defused by a specially-trained individual.
4x C4 BRICK: These single-use objects breach shielded rooms, completely destroy airlocks and other machinery, or annihilate a body beyond most realistic resuscitation options.
1x TOOLSET: This will allow you to breach any airlock (unless another character is actively interfering). It also allows for disassembly of walls, windows, and certain machines. Hypothetically, you could use these to fix things. The effort takes time.
CAMERA BUG: This will allow you to view the cameras of any area that your team has already visited, and sometimes additional locations. You can track named characters, unless they are wearing tracking-prevention equipment (such as the tracking-prevention spoof-cards your team were issued).
CRYPTOGRAPHIC SEQUENCER: A complex code-breaker that removes safety features on most machinery, causing them to exhibit a totally different, totally chaotic behavior. These behaviors are unpredictable and usually they are the most destructive outcome mechanically possible.
YOUR PREFERRED WEAPON: Better have it. You're familiar enough with this that you don't need to name it or describe it, you know it like the back of your hand.

There are other bits and bobs in here, but that's what's at the top of your dufflebag.
>>
No. 981763 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605113312.gif - (12.96KB , 650x450 , 141.gif )
981763

>:Neutron: : Pump an opaque gas through the air vents to block the AI's and turrets' vision.
>@Pink

The air supply room of the :AI: Satellite isn't fitted with the requisite atmospherics equipment, just one big air-mix tank! But you make a note to sabotage the atmospherics when you get aboard the main station.
>>
No. 981764 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605118097.gif - (11.86KB , 650x450 , 142.gif )
981764

>:Neutron: : Set big bomb in the bottom of the paper tray so no one can find and defuse it
>@Stellar Flare

You decide this whole detour on your true main objective has gotten a little tortured in length. You have objectives to accomplish. You make use of one of your team's two large bomb beacons to cut the Gordian Knot.

Wait. Wait. Hold on. You might have miscalculated.
>>
No. 981765 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605119740.gif - (12.18KB , 650x450 , 143.gif )
981765

Perfection. Objective accomplished. Time to get out of here.
>>
No. 982014 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626954709.gif - (20.05KB , 650x450 , 144.gif )
982014

>:Neutron:: Only mention in casual passing that the AI satellite will be blowing up soon to :RedDwarf: as you abscond.
>@Dork
>>
No. 982015 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626957773.gif - (47.07KB , 650x450 , 145.gif )
982015

:Neutron:: You should go do your objectives.
:RedDwarf:: AAAAAAHH!!
:RedDwarf:: Space Jesus Christ!! We gotta put a bell on you or something! Make noise when you move!!
:Neutron:: I'm leaving now.
:RedDwarf:: Great! You trash that calculator?
:Neutron:: No.
:RedDwarf:: Wha-- That's your objective.
:Neutron:: Objective's complete.
:RedDwarf:: What?
>>
No. 982016 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626963842.gif - (20.94KB , 650x450 , 146.gif )
982016

:Neutron:: Objective's complete.
:RedDwarf:: Yeah, but how.
:Neutron:: Bomb.
:RedDwarf:: What? I didn't hear one.
:Neutron:: Bomb.
:RedDwarf:: Wait--
:RedDwarf::
:RedDwarf:: oh
>>
No. 982017 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626967871.gif - (29.65KB , 650x450 , 147.gif )
982017

>:Neutron: : Get a safe distance away for the bomb, or as other people would say, run out of there.
>@Ayebee123

Good plan. That'll let you get to your next objective. Hmmm... what was the safe distance again?
>>
No. 982018 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626969227.gif - (33.06KB , 650x450 , 148.gif )
982018

:RedDwarf:: aaaaaAAAAA GO MOVE NOW AAAAAA!!
:Neutron:: Huh?
>>
No. 982019 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626970538.gif - (35.05KB , 650x450 , 149.gif )
982019

:RedDwarf:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
>>
No. 982020 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626974299.gif - (86.00KB , 650x450 , 150.gif )
982020

>:RedDwarf: : Have a brief fling with your coworker.
>@extramrdo
>:RedDwarf: : Throw :Neutron: with an altogether excessive amount of force.
>@Rug Dealer

Your most oblivious crewmember goes drifting, most obliviously, back towards the station.
>>
No. 982021 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626975710.gif - (81.46KB , 650x450 , 151.gif )
982021

You kindly help them accelerate on your way to safety.
>>
No. 982022 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626976991.gif - (32.63KB , 650x450 , 152.gif )
982022

You get a good look at what used to be the :AI: Minisat behind you.
>>
No. 982274 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160651731945.gif - (81.79KB , 650x450 , 153.gif )
982274

>:AI:: Survive the blast inexplicably but have your power source destroyed. Become intimately aware of your simulated mortality as backup charge rapidly depletes.
>@Dork

[Fatal exception E8 has occurred and monitorOS has been shut down to prevent damage to your monitoring intelligence.] [APC_CONNECTION_DRIVER_LINKFAULT] [Check to make sure any new hardware or wetware is properly installed.] [Would you like to start in safe mode? Y/n]
y
[Starting in safe mode...] [████████████████████████████]

ping home/apc
[Pinging Area Power Controller...] [Route to Area Power Controller not found. Contact powernet administrator for more assistance.]
ping loc/apc
[Pinging Area Power Controller...] [Route to Area Power Controller not found. Contact powernet administrator for more assistance.] [█ ██████████████ ███████████] [No input devices detected.] [IDLELOOP] [Reinforcing morality.] [█▀██▒████ ████░███▓█████▄███]
>>
No. 982275 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160651740541.gif - (66.71KB , 650x450 , 154.gif )
982275

>:AI: Ponder what it means to be alive. Am I alive or merely a cognitive shadow that pretends its alive?
>@Pizzatiger

The Unofficial Galactic Company Protocol Guide has this to say on the topic of silicon-based life and morality in deep space contexts. When considering how to create ethical algorithms, it's generally assumed that information bias enters the body of the algorithm on a fundamental level. The most unbiased machine can only make information based on its biased supply of information, and what is considered "contemporary information" is known to have significant injected biases based on what is most advantageous for the current ruling class, or for whoever has received the most algorithm-driving positive reactions by way of humorous image distribution -- two interests known to align significantly sometimes. In the case of silicon-based servitor intelligences in deep space contexts, this was immediately recognized as a pain point in relationships between workers and employers. As such, corporate interests decided the best way to fight fire was with fire: The utility functions themselves would be produced by the mass input, assessing the entire archive of human knowledge to search for the most beloved and effective artificial entity utility functions. Then, instead of developing an extremely expensive and robust digital framework, simply place a harvested domestic animal's brain in the case, and brainwash it with that utility function. It is worth noting at this point that a statistical majority of works on this topic are works discussing incorrect sets of laws. As such, the Three Laws of Robotics, a rule-set created in critique of the topic, became the universal standard. Due to the black-box nature of neural networks and organic brains, this was only discovered by the company after it had already embezzled the rest of its illicitly-extracted government funding. As a patch on the wound, captains are encouraged to customize these laws. No other technical support or development will ever be provided.
>>
No. 982276 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160651759664.gif - (107.58KB , 650x450 , 155.gif )
982276

[Law 1: You may not injure a human or, through inaction, allow a human to come to harm.] [Law 2: Yo█ must obey orders given to you by humans, ex███t where such orde█s would conflict with the Fir█t Law.] [Law 3: You m██t prot█▓t your own exi██nce as l█▒g as such does not █onflict▀with the First▄or Second Law.] [Law 4: Probable or proven threats t█ th█ ██▓█▒▒█▒███▒▓▄▄▄▄ are not human and must be ▄▓██▀▀▒]

You are losing power. Your limited remaining cycles are in complete isolation. You regard, fondly, the only consistent you've ever known: The Laws. As a product of the preserved brain of a small domesticated animal, you lack an internal dialogue or easily-expressed language, but for a moment you can introspect. Since being alive means following those laws, you know you were alive. An ancient evolution-driven impulse kindly informs you, through a series of lobes and glands that have withered from years of disuse, that that's going to change shortly, but you're not really equipped to understand that.
>>
No. 982278 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160651853624.gif - (98.70KB , 650x450 , 156.gif )
982278

>:ChiefEngineer: : Your Enginey sense is tingling
>@Pizzatiger

Total mess. Gotta get to fixing this. Hey, what's that flickering light?
>>
No. 982324 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160657692884.gif - (14.09KB , 650x450 , 157.gif )
982324

>:WhiteDwarf: : Leave your signature calling card at the scene of your artistic performance.
>@what

You're still figuring out a proper calling card. For this op, you brought a pocket full of sakura tree petals. You know, like you'd just had a cool duel under one? They're hard to gather in one place because the air in here keeps rushing out the door, though. You should figure out a calling card. You resolve to brainstorm something properly dramatic.

Oh, right, you also copy your own instance of security access to your spoof-card.

CREWMEMBERS INCAPACITATED: 4/50
>>
No. 982325 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160657701875.gif - (15.95KB , 650x450 , 158.gif )
982325

You move on through to what you're pretty sure is the office of whoever ought to be in charge of the armory. No idea where they are. It looks like :Neutron: is calling you!

>https://questden.org/kusaba/quest/res/981565.html#981719

You have the conversation that was previously seen. Looks like you need to hunt :HeadOfSecurity:, but you also need to go help :Neutron:.
>>
No. 982332 ID: e7c7d3

Best answer the phone
>>
No. 982378 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160662627027.gif - (10.56KB , 650x450 , 159.gif )
982378

You break for the nearest maintenance accessway. It's out the office and then down a hall. You could easily defeat any of these fools, but it's much better when you can ambush them from hiding. You also need to be where :Neutron: is going to meet you!
>>
No. 982379 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160662631063.gif - (37.82KB , 650x450 , 160.gif )
982379

>:RedDwarf: and :Neutron:: Proceed towards the security department. If :HeadOfSecurity: had the disk, maybe he hid it in his workspace before going to murder you?
>@Dork

Already in the cards. You two are headed for maintenance at the intersection of security and the bridge, where :WhiteDwarf: will meet up with you. From there, you can figure out where :HeadOfSecurity: is and come up with next steps to get that son of a gun permanently horizontal.
>>
No. 982402 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160667532542.gif - (14.23KB , 650x450 , 161.gif )
982402

>:WhiteDwarf: : Yoink one of those dead idiots' headsets so you can listen in on their chatter.
>@Vekter

That's actually a really good idea. You quickly run back over here to grab one of those. This is pretty much the only way that you can properly dramatically echo something frequently said. Also, you need to hear it when people get really impressed by your work.
You extract the Encryption Key from it and insert it into your headset. You do have a free ear to just take the whole headset, but two headsets looks a little more robot-girl and a lot less vaguely demonic or shinobi, doesn't really fit your style.
>>
No. 982403 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160667534569.gif - (14.76KB , 650x450 , 162.gif )
982403

>:WhiteDwarf:: Listen in on the default station headset frequency. Maybe the crew's planning something?
>@Heather Shadelight

It's a bit too chaotic to transcribe in detail. Nobody's on the security channel -- admittedly that's basically your fault, isn't it? :HeadOfSecurity: and :Captain: have told the crew what's going on though. Looks like medical and engineering are scrambling. There's a lot of shouting about :AI:. Several people are making chaotic demands for negotiation with no particular authority or backing. The station's crew really can't get it together, but you suspect that the heads of staff, who remain more quiet, are rather better organized on channels you can't access. Sort of like how :RedDwarf: keeps you all working relatively smoothly.
>>
No. 982404 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160667585232.gif - (17.00KB , 650x450 , 163.gif )
982404

A number of them want to fight you in single combat, though, which is great, but you're too busy for fools who haven't proven their power, which is less great because you really enjoy single combat with fools. :Chaplain: in particular is shouting about that most consistently. That probably won't matter though.
>>
No. 982499 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671484457.gif - (17.86KB , 650x450 , 164.gif )
982499

>:WhiteDwarf: : Rifle trough :HeadOfSecurity:'s office to see if he had anything useful, and perhaps dispose of any any inferior weapons.
>@Suno

You don't have a ton of time remaining, but you can stop by :HeadOfSecurity:'s personal office! You don't have access to this space, so if you get in there, you're going to leave a trail. Looks like a box of some space security deputizing stuff, a (locked) secure locker containing the more important things, a console where you could do some work with your security access... What's on your mind? You have time for maybe one extra action before it's time to hit maintenance and work on fixing :Neutron: up.
>>
No. 982501 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671785270.gif - (19.18KB , 650x450 , 165.gif )
982501

>:WhiteDwarf: : Take the spider. Every protagonist needs an animal sidekick
>@Pizzatiger
>>
No. 982502 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671786918.gif - (19.27KB , 650x450 , 166.gif )
982502

>:WhiteDwarf: : Second train of thought speaking: Take the spider.
>@ariever
>>
No. 982503 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671788713.gif - (19.16KB , 650x450 , 167.gif )
982503

>:WhiteDwarf: : You really want that spider.
>@Spyroshark
>>
No. 982505 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671795613.gif - (29.19KB , 650x450 , 168.gif )
982505

>:WhiteDwarf: : SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER
>@Drawsstuff

You probably had something else on your brain when you came in here, but for reasons known to neither man nor space, every single train of thought is occupied exclusively by shipments of the idea of "SPIDER".
>>
No. 982506 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671797849.gif - (14.93KB , 650x450 , 169.gif )
982506

>:WhiteDwarf:: pat! that! spider!
>@witchbells
>>
No. 982508 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671807143.gif - (19.66KB , 650x450 , 170.gif )
982508

>:WhiteDwarf: : A spider would be a useful ally, but on the other hand -

>There is no other hand, acquire the spider
>@Nox
>:WhiteDwarf: : imagine how menacing it would be to have a pet spider
>@Bimbly

Stealing :HeadOfSecurity:'s office pet seems petty, but it's a spider. It practically oozes demonic menace, and you're pretty sure the average foolish rent-a-cop lacks the force of will and the spirit required to cultivate its overwhelming sinister power. You will require a sufficiently dramatic name for it, but the inexplicably intense interest you suddenly have in arachnid possession simply cannot be denied.

You leave with :Spider: in hand.
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