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981565 No. 981565 ID: 0fbdcd

Editor's Note: I want to make it abundantly clear that I am neither the writer nor the artist for this quest: I am only serving as a transcriber to port this work from another location into a public, preservable medium.

This first large burst of posts will be transcribing the already extant art (and commands) onto the board. After the extant art has been posted, commands from the board will be forwarded to the artist for consideration, and future art (and successful commands) will be posted here by me. Commands posted before this period are invalid. Consider this a cutscene until I make clear otherwise.

All art and story credit goes to Nine Hyperzine Tripping Engineers.
Expand all images
No. 981566 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600651141.png - (39.98KB , 650x450 , Start-1.png )

You are :RedDwarf:. You are leader of the notoriously nuclear gang of fixers and criminals known as the Redshift Operators. The Company recently established yet another hideously unsafe space station to exploit this solar system's resources. A long campaign of violent subversion has taken you through the arrivals airlock in search of explosively radiological solutions to economic problems.

Your subordinates, :RedGiant:, :WhiteDwarf:, and :Neutron: have been dispatched to an assortment of objectives throughout the station to begin carrying out your mission. Your primary objective is to find a nuclear authentication disk, then plant and activate your nuclear device inside the station's own vault. Your secondary objective is currently secret. Your tertiary objectives are, obviously, the murder of at least all of security and the command staff. Your compulsions are of a gremlin nature.

Enter a command.
No. 981568 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600660283.gif - (21.51KB , 650x450 , 2.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Push the nearest button!

Quick check to make sure your equipment still works. Fancy keycard of yours, who knows who made them, they keep :AI: off your back and some of the doors working. The important ones need better access than you got off a spoofing card. You better remember to copy card access off any dumb mugs you take down if you want to get through their doors.

You could open this door, but it's these coffin-stuffers that'll be running for the airlocks by the time you're done here, not you.
No. 981569 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600666857.gif - (20.50KB , 650x450 , 3.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Channel the energy of a whole different game and crawl into the vent.

Try as you might, you can't fit! You also look kind of dumb doing this! Hopefully nobody's watching.
No. 981570 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600671586.gif - (16.53KB , 650x450 , 4.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Check vent for spiders.

You cased this joint pretty well a while back. Dangerous, sure, but not that kind of dangerous. You're not going to have any interference on this op from anyone but a bunch of corporate goons.

Nothing you can see down there anyway, from the look of it.
No. 981571 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600677186.gif - (22.03KB , 650x450 , 5.gif )

:RedDwarf:: Check in with the team.

You radio in to check with the crew.
No. 981574 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600702785.gif - (22.21KB , 650x450 , 6.gif )

:RedGiant::Neutron:: Be the team checked in with.

You've managed to get in contact with two of your three subordinates. Wherever the hell :WhiteDwarf: is, no doubt they're fine. You have a good crew, with clean operations, and operatives who operate cleanly. You are not a bunch of goofballs. So, you resolve, any audience will close their eyes and ears and ignore this next part, knowing that everything said will be very tactical and professional.

:RedDwarf:: Hey. What's status stuff. You guys get spotted?
:Neutron:: What?
:RedGiant:: Solids actually. Isn't that for the space camouflage thing?
:RedDwarf:: wha
:RedDwarf:: No did anyone see you!!
:RedGiant:: Oh.
:RedGiant:: Yeah!
:RedGiant:: He was a department head.
:RedDwarf:: aaaaaaaaaaa which one, who do I go murder right now before they get to the armory to save you!!
:RedGiant:: Oh, don't worry! I made sure you won't have to murder him. I'm asking him questions! Like about who has the disk you lost.
:RedDwarf:: I didn't
:RedDwarf:: UGH
:RedDwarf:: Okay, interrogate him. Report in if you get any info. Look, just don't let him scream for help too much.
:RedDwarf:: Hey!! :Neutron:!! Are you still there? Status!!
:Neutron:: What?
:RedDwarf:: Status. S T A U T S.
:Neutron:: That wasn't spelled right.
:RedDwarf:: Yes it was! Shut up!!
:Neutron:: I'm working on a door. Do you have an objectives update?
:RedDwarf:: Well I hope it's on the right satellite. Just keep on the :AI: capture task.
:Neutron:: Okay. Call me if you find out more about the disk objective.
No. 981575 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600705609.gif - (160.85KB , 650x450 , 7.gif )

:WhiteDwarf: : Wax poetic about the importance of the mission for the CAUSE.

You are :WhiteDwarf:. You are on your way to another region of the station. You are currently lost in thought about the importance of your mission for the cause. Your role in it is to disarm them of their weapons, by breaching the Armory. This is part of your own personal mission: To seek powerful opponents for epic duels of the blade, or at least some kind of melee of some sort. You know, the full suite kind of thing, banter and all. However, since you do not have anyone to duel out here in space, you cannot wax poetically. You cannot even wane.

This needs to be fixed, fast. You better get that armory open and that blade wet soon, or the allegedly cursed energy sword you claim to possess will lose the legitimacy of your claims about its supernatural bloodlust.
No. 981576 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600712097.gif - (21.60KB , 650x450 , 8.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Retrieve arms.

Got it right here. No operative in this gang would be caught dead without the cold, hard assurance of success you can find in a good, proper gun. It's probably best you not dwell too much on your lack of any other assurance.

Armed and armored. Good idea to get moving. Where to?
No. 981578 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600720804.gif - (12.55KB , 650x450 , 9.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Scream into the eternal void, but also with typos. Then proceed upwards to the table in the upper right.

If anyone catches you screaming in some embarrassing way, you're going to have to spend more time pulping skulls than you usually do, and you usually spend a lot of time pulping skulls.

Down over there is some kind of...
No. 981579 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600723687.gif - (11.13KB , 650x450 , 10.gif )

Pipe transit. Indicates "HOLY". Pneumatic pipe transit is tremendously cheap and tremendously dangerous, and you just got done with an actual, factual spacewalk. You don't feel comfortable going to a church for some reason you can't entirely articulate. Well, whatever, it'll be gone soon anyway.

And in the other direction...
No. 981580 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600725211.gif - (14.68KB , 650x450 , 11.gif )

Round the bend, and it's one of these torsos. But hey, nobody ever got nothin' done by being really quiet and sneaky.
No. 981581 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600726865.gif - (12.06KB , 650x450 , 12.gif )

You make sure to emphasize your internal monologue by making your gun do a big gun noise. It's very cool, and impressive to everyone.
No. 981582 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600737377.gif - (15.70KB , 650x450 , 13.gif )

You don't like it. The Company makes everything cheap as they can. Cut every corner.

The Unofficial Galactic Company Protocol Guide has this to say on the topic of the standard furniture available in all space stations:

The standard furniture issued to every space station is originally designed for health, safety, comfort, and durability, in that order. Chairs of all types, as well as stools, tables, beds, and the rare non-bulkhead door have had their standardized designs lovingly hand-crafted by expert shapesmiths whose monastic upbringing allow for the creation of angles so precisely defined as to drop a population's suicide rate by half simply by furnishing their space. Corporate then uses a series of esoteric metrics in order to optimize cost versus benefit in a series of fat-trimming decisions. For example, in the standard chair, individual legs were rated by individual cost, and so by making sure the design only has one leg, the leg-related cost can be cut down by three fourths, and everyone responsible for the decision can immediately be given a raise and a bonus without any legal questions arising.
No. 981584 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600744269.gif - (12.06KB , 650x450 , 14.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Order :WhiteDwarf: to scream into the eternal void, but also with typos, since she's in space where no one can hear and you're a good leader who knows how to delegate.

Still can't raise :WhiteDwarf:. You remain totally cool about that. Surges of stressed frustration fail to catch any handhold in your mind, and provoke no mental images of :WhiteDwarf: grandiosely delivering lines about how their right arm has a darkspace alien sealed it in or something while they ignore your radio.
No. 981585 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600751046.gif - (11.82KB , 650x450 , 15.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Acquire fire extinguisher from cabinet.

Sure thing. What do you wanna do with it?
No. 981586 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600760048.gif - (11.91KB , 650x450 , 16.gif )

:RedDwarf: Start a fire so you can put it out

Now we're talking. Which is to say, now you're talking. You have a great idea about how to do that.
No. 981587 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600761197.gif - (16.45KB , 650x450 , 17.gif )

No. 981588 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600766033.gif - (11.14KB , 650x450 , 18.gif )

:SecOfficer:: why
No. 981589 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600770955.gif - (19.52KB , 650x450 , 19.gif )


You were originally going to do cool foam tricks, but you might actually need that extinguisher to get through here now.
No. 981590 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600790155.gif - (21.93KB , 650x450 , 20.gif )

:RedDwarf: Ignore the fire. Vault over the table like the hood of a Mercedes. The fire will only serve to make you look cooler

You start trying to do that, but you get kind of scared right in the middle of it, and falter right next to the bigger wall of fire that spread out here. Augh! You try to pass it off as a light jog to hypothetical observers.
No. 981591 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600792623.gif - (12.09KB , 650x450 , 21.gif )

> :RedDwarf: : Shoot the fire. With the fire extinguisher. But, like. Make it cool, like it's a gun. (Even though it's a fire extinguisher.)

Fire safety is everyone's business, even when you're a ruthless space son of a gun.
No. 981592 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600795220.gif - (25.21KB , 650x450 , 22.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Use a little fire extinguisher on the fire, as a treat

Unfortunately there's really just no way to shoot fire extinguisher foam in a cool way, pre-foam poses aside. You feel confident that you'll never encounter any incident of someone looking extremely powerful and ruthless as a result of shooting a fire extinguisher. It doesn't really work.
No. 981593 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600796616.gif - (21.41KB , 650x450 , 23.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Assess just how dead the officer may or may not be, and contemplate loot.

You know next to nothing about medical things, since :WhiteDwarf: is your medic. You know, specifically, about the opposite thing. As long as they're down and they're not moving, you quickly stop caring. However, that does remind you: You gotta copy that access card to acquire the security officer's card access codes.
No. 981594 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600798258.gif - (21.46KB , 650x450 , 24.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Copy the access card, then check what's on the other side of the office-checkpoint-thing from the table you entered over.

That's gonna take a second, so you decide to be someone else for a bit.
No. 981595 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600811526.gif - (21.81KB , 650x450 , 25.gif )

:Neutron:: Interrogate.

You can't be :Neutron: interrogating someone because :RedGiant: is too busy being :RedGiant: interrogating someone they think is a department head!
No. 981596 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600813673.gif - (34.11KB , 650x450 , 26.gif )

:Neutron: : Be working on the door.

:Neutron: will continue focusing on the door for now. It may be a while.
No. 981597 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600817795.gif - (24.35KB , 650x450 , 27.gif )

:RedGiant: : He seems anxious. Share your lunch with him.

Oh, what a good idea! You're not sure why he's so stressed out, but you're sure a little food will help him calm down!

You forgot your lunchbox today, so you packed it in one of :WhiteDwarf:'s! She's so nice to lend you things!
No. 981599 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600827499.gif - (10.31KB , 650x450 , 28.gif )

:RedGiant: : Present the contents of the box to the cargo staff in a gesture of goodwill.
:RedGiant:: We'll start with the easy questions!
:RedGiant:: What's your medical history?
You need to know if he has a fish allergy, or, you know, risk of choking on a bone or something, after all! You packed a fish meal today!
:RedGiant:: You need to talk. Otherwise you won't get what's best for you.

You even brought your favorite boning knife!
No. 981603 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600857108.gif - (42.92KB , 650x450 , 29.gif )

:RedGiant: : Gossip with him about work.

:RedGiant:: A, ahah, a friend of mine, :RedDwarf:, has something he wants here.
:RedGiant:: Something he lost, you know.

:RedDwarf: is always losing things! He's very silly!

:RedGiant:: It's important for my job that I find it.
:RedGiant:: You're able to help me, aren't you?
:QuarterMaster:: HHH
:RedGiant:: It's a small disk. He said :Captain: might have found it. He said he might give it to another head of staff, for safekeeping! Who knows what sort of bad things might happen if it's out and about. You know where it is, don't you? Since you're a head of staff.
:QuarterMaster:: UH
:QuarterMaster:: N
:QuarterMaster:: NO
:RedGiant:: Oh, no? You can't help?
:RedGiant:: That's really, really too bad.
:RedGiant:: Because some terrible things might happen if I don't find out who has that disk.

Really, :RedDwarf: might get very upset! It's important you track it down before he gets all stressed. His anxiety flares up bad, and you really want to help him feel better.
No. 981604 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600863235.gif - (39.04KB , 650x450 , 30.gif )

@Stellar Flare

:QuarterMaster:: N
:QuarterMaster:: NOT A HEAD
:QuarterMaster:: OF STAFF I MEAN
:RedGiant:: Oh! Looks like I made a bit of a mistake.
:RedGiant:: So you can't help me.
:RedGiant:: :RedDwarf: is gonna be awfully disappointed that you can't help.
:RedGiant:: That's pretty disappointing to me too.
:RedGiant:: It'd help us out an awful lot if you tried very hard to remember anything that could help.
:QuarterMaster:: PR
:QuarterMaster:: PROBABLY UH
:QuarterMaster:: :Captain: TRUSTS :HeadOfSecurity: MOST
:QuarterMaster:: SO
:QuarterMaster:: SO :HeadOfSecurity: PROBABLY HAS IT
:RedGiant:: Oh, really?
No. 981606 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600881758.gif - (37.53KB , 650x450 , 31.gif )

:RedGiant:: I'll let :RedDwarf: know. But just in case you're wrong, I'm going to stay here. To follow up with you. Is that alright with you?
:QuarterMaster:: H
:QuarterMaster:: GREAT THAT'S FINE
:RedGiant:: Good. I'm sure what you told me will work just fine, though. Things will work out just fine if we help each other out, as good friends.

:QuarterMaster: seems awfully stressed out! Maybe you can help him, since he's helping you too! You should get him that meal while you radio :RedDwarf:. :WhiteDwarf: probably wants to know too! She's headed for Security for something or another -- you weren't, honestly, paying that much attention during :RedDwarf:'s talk about today's job, but good friends working together can do so much to help each other. Well, you have some of the supply area handled for now. You'll just need to keep an eye out here, to maintain that goal. Persistence and patience are important for achieving objectives! That's what :Neutron: always tells you, because :Neutron: only ever talks about objectives.
No. 981607 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600884254.gif - (16.18KB , 650x450 , 32.gif )

:RedGiant: : Debone them. (The fish, of course.)
:RedGiant:: Impress and awe with your filleting skills!

This is exactly why you pack your SpaceGrill! Unfortunately, you can't debone your fish right now. You need to sharpen your knife for a little! You really hope :QuarterMaster: doesn't mind the scraping noises! You'll spend a while on that.
No. 981608 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600887251.gif - (47.37KB , 650x450 , 33.gif )

:RedGiant: : Use the power of friendship to contact :WhiteDwarf: and tell her about :HeadOfSecurity:. Also about the information pertaining the delicious fish lunch and :QuarterMaster:'s anxiety pertaining large red-suited individuals.

:RedGiant:: Heyyyyy!
:RedGiant:: Hey :WhiteDwarf:! My new friend :QuarterMaster: told me some things that could help you!
:WhiteDwarf:: Ah, :RedGiant:. You've caught me in the midst of my breach. Have I told you of the Lunar Order traditions in orbital shinobi breach techniques?
:RedGiant:: Yeah! I think twice! I forgot most of it. Can you tell me again?
:WhiteDwarf:: Hmm. Remind me to give you a refresher. Later.
:RedGiant:: Okay! I'll remember that!
:RedGiant:: Anyway, :QuarterMaster: thinks that :HeadOfSecurity: has the disk that :RedDwarf: lost!
:RedGiant:: You said you're going there, right? When you visit, can you ask :HeadOfSecurity: or maybe any of the :SecOfficer:s if they'll look in their lost and found for it?
:WhiteDwarf:: Oho... I've no doubt that much will be lost there, :RedGiant:. Very, very much.
:RedGiant:: Wow! They must have such a good lost and found system!
:WhiteDwarf:: Your, ahem, intelligence is appreciated, :RedGiant:. Gathered intelligence, I mean, of course.
:RedGiant:: You can always count on me to support you, no matter what you're doing!
:WhiteDwarf:: Heh. Hardly necessary. This next maneuver will require only a fraction of my strength. Leave this matter to me.
:RedGiant:: Okay! You must really have been working out!
:WhiteDwarf:: Meditation, mostly.
No. 981609 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600894951.gif - (58.65KB , 650x450 , 34.gif )

:WhiteDwarf: : Structurally renovate.
No. 981611 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600903782.gif - (51.26KB , 650x450 , 35.gif )

Unsafe atmospheric pressurization design vents guns from the armory into space like you've burst an authoritarian piñata. Inferior weapons you won't have any truck with fly by in a very silly way. You, of course, need only a monomolecular fractal-folded hard-light blade.
No. 981612 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600911855.gif - (12.12KB , 650x450 , 36.gif )

:Neutron: : Accidentally shock yourself on the door
@Rug Dealer

Your standard issue tactically insulated gloves shield your standard issue tactically insulated emotional state from any shocking disruption. But they won't protect you from the electrical hazard further on, which presents a huge obstacle between you and your objectives.
No. 981614 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600915560.gif - (11.99KB , 650x450 , 37.gif )

:Neutron: : Unlock.

You won't be able to complete your objectives if you do that right now. You'll need someone else here to help you if you want to do that command.
:Neutron:: One of you's gonna help with my objective.
:Neutron:: Second pair of hands. Who's free?
No. 981615 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600918454.gif - (21.59KB , 650x450 , 38.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Be returned to your senses by a desperate cry for help of a fellow operative. Take in your surrounding to see if it's safe to chat.

You just got done copying that dumb torso's card. Nobody got on-site response yet, but that's probably gonna change real fast. These shmucks got trackers in their suits or something. You pick up the call.
No. 981616 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600923122.gif - (21.62KB , 650x450 , 39.gif )

:RedDwarf:: Oh, you're actually getting stuff done?
:Neutron:: Yeah, objectives.
:RedDwarf:: Just getting the security pass copied.
:Neutron:: Perfect.
:Neutron:: Meet me at :AI:'s satellite airlock. More about the objective when you're here.
:RedDwarf:: What do I bring to pull your rear outta the fire?
:Neutron:: Bring that copied access for part of this objective.
:RedDwarf:: Great. I'll circle back here or go help :WhiteDwarf: after.
:Neutron:: That's not my objective.
:RedDwarf:: Yeah I know.
:Neutron:: Meet me at :AI:'s satellite airlock.
:RedDwarf:: Yes I know. You do know other stuff is going on, right? Other people?
:Neutron:: What?
:RedDwarf: sighs.
:RedDwarf:: ETA is damn quick.
No. 981617 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600925746.gif - (23.34KB , 650x450 , 40.gif )

Back out into space!
No. 981618 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600926791.gif - (18.52KB , 650x450 , 41.gif )

No. 981619 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600930483.gif - (14.11KB , 650x450 , 42.gif )

:Neutron:: This is the next part of the objective.
:Neutron:: I need the security card for my part of the objective.
:RedDwarf:: Yeah, but what's the actual plan?
:Neutron:: Hang on.

What was your plan again? You need to get past the autonomous electrical hazard in the next room.
No. 981620 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600935715.gif - (48.33KB , 650x450 , 43.gif )

:RedDwarf:: Get a rolling chair and five fire extinguishers. Tie them all together and use them to propel yourselves down the hallway, past the electrical traps.

You're not any form of low-level station crewmember! You can't summon the Grey Tide necessary for that maneuver! Besides, most you've got is one Fire Extinguisher, finding four more would be a problem.
No. 981621 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600942118.gif - (13.83KB , 650x450 , 44.gif )

:Neutron: : Forget to mention the electrical hazard and tell :RedDwarf: to rush the room after the door is open
@Stellar Flare
No. 981622 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600945122.gif - (11.35KB , 650x450 , 45.gif )

:Neutron:: Gonna pop the door.
:Neutron:: Rush in when I do.
:RedDwarf:: Wait, what? What am I rushing?
:Neutron:: Objective obstacle's inside.
:RedDwarf:: Yes, can you be more specific.
:Neutron:: Through that door.
:Neutron:: You'll be fine.
:RedDwarf:: Wait a second.
:Neutron:: Popping the door.
:RedDwarf:: !!!
No. 981623 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600947545.gif - (12.97KB , 650x450 , 46.gif )

No. 981624 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600949032.gif - (189.51KB , 650x450 , 47.gif )

The electrical hazard activates.
No. 981625 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600952620.gif - (14.96KB , 650x450 , 48.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Fight the law (and lose)
@Rug Dealer

You reject that command, but fruitlessly. The securitron is on you like rads on an engineer and it lights you up like a lightbulb.
No. 981626 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600955115.gif - (38.54KB , 650x450 , 49.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Be valid.

You gave your security card to :Neutron:, which makes you a valid target for whatever goddamn securitron configuration this thing is set to. What a mess. You'd flip them off if any of your muscles were working. It's probably announcing it to some kind of security channel, too. Ugh!
No. 981627 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600959311.gif - (37.42KB , 650x450 , 50.gif )

:Neutron: : Bypass the now-distracted Objective Obstacle.

:RedDwarf:: H-H-H-EE-E-E-Y-Y-Y-Y!!
:RedDwarf:: H-H-HE-EY-Y J-J-JE-E-ER-R-RK!!
:Neutron:: Huh?
:Neutron:: Oh.

You forgot to be polite about it. Always slips your mind, those little things.

:Neutron:: Thanks.
No. 981628 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600964348.gif - (38.20KB , 650x450 , 51.gif )

:Neutron: : Copy access from :RedDwarf:'s keycard. For objectives reasons.

Sounds good to you.
No. 981629 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600966183.gif - (63.31KB , 650x450 , 52.gif )

:RedDwarf:: seriously consider chucking :Neutron: into space.

There are some days it's literally all you think about. Despite this, :Neutron: is the best there is at what he does, and you want him around. This mitigating thought fails to make any headway in an intensely electrified brain, but luckily, your muscles are all locked up so you can't heave his crimson rear straight out there to choke to death on the void.
No. 981630 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600968082.gif - (91.63KB , 650x450 , 53.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Consult status of your standard issue tactically insulated emotional state.
@Stellar Flare

What you're trying to say is that you're pissed. You need a torso to properly vent your feelings into in that classically cool and ultraviolent way, and you need it fast.
No. 981631 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600971417.gif - (13.94KB , 650x450 , 54.gif )

:Neutron:: Neutralize the objective.

You can't do that without another set of hands, so you deactivate the securitron while it's occupied using your new security access.

:Neutron:: Hey, need another pair of hands for an objective obstacle.
:RedDwarf:: Sounds great. You're going through the next door, not me.
No. 981633 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600979406.gif - (13.22KB , 650x450 , 55.gif )

:Neutron:: If I run down this next hall, I'll get shot with turrets before I can get to my objective.
:Neutron:: Disabled the ID authenticator on this turret control panel with a Sequencer. Someone has to make sure :AI: doesn't turn them back on while objectives get done. It probably knows we're here.

How should you handle this next part?
No. 981635 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600984414.gif - (15.07KB , 650x450 , 56.gif )

:AI: : Peek inside the breach using the purposefully installed cameras and technological infrastructure that you oversee.

Tracking Unknown (1) Trace failure (code 0x00FCFF). Tracking Unknown (2) Trace failure (code 0x00FCFF). Tracking Securitron (Officer Pingsky) Connection established to: Minisat Foyer Camera (ping: 53ms)
No. 981636 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160600992555.gif - (100.87KB , 650x450 , 57.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Call the AI and ask it nicely
@Rug Dealer

:RedDwarf:: Hey. Don't turn on the hazards up ahead.
:AI:: Tracking failure identified in workplace safety assurance protocol for crewmember: :RedDwarf: :AI:: Workplace safety cannot be legally guaranteed while tracking protocols are inactive. :AI:: Please see your system administrator to re-enable workplace safety assurance tracking authentication.
:RedDwarf:: Hey IBM trash can, I don't care. Do not turn on the hazards ahead of this door. Okay? Don't. Don't do it.

That's as nice as it gets for you.
No. 981641 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601079420.gif - (100.56KB , 650x450 , 58.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Use the magic words, "Law 2."

:Neutron:: Say "law 2".
:RedDwarf:: What?
:Neutron:: I said "Say 'law 2'."
:RedDwarf:: Why would that do anything?
:Neutron:: It'll get the objective done.
:RedDwarf:: What do you... ugh.
:RedDwarf:: Hey, :AI:. Law 2, extra don't turn on the hazards.
:AI:: Immediate hazards will not be activated according to human orders.
No. 981642 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601094347.gif - (103.94KB , 650x450 , 59.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Try to convince the AI that you are here to fix the tracking problem, and that you need undisputed (and safe) access to the AI core. Pronto!

:RedDwarf:: Yeah, we're a repair crew or something, right? Right :Neutron:?
:Neutron:: Make sure the hazards stay off between me and the objective.
:RedDwarf:: Yes, look at how constantly professional my good pal] here is.
:RedDwarf:: Just like any repair crew would be.
:RedDwarf:: He even won't ever shut his dumb mouth hole about objectives. Just like how any :AI: repair crew would be focused on you havin' an objective view of things.
:AI:: Input error. No command found.
:Neutron:: I'm going through.
No. 981643 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601096506.gif - (11.12KB , 650x450 , 60.gif )

:RedDwarf: : Investigate this room more carefully now that you aren't being tased repeatedly for anything useful.
@Stellar Flare

Only really useful thing in here is that Teleporter over there. Hooks up to the main network. Got its own fancy beacon and everything. Console lets you control the Main Teleport Beacon. Good spot to hit after :Neutron: wraps up his grim business in there.
No. 981644 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601097902.gif - (17.74KB , 650x450 , 61.gif )

:Neutron: : Do your objective
@Rug Dealer

Heading in. This will take a minute.
No. 981645 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601102045.gif - (114.12KB , 650x450 , 62.gif )

:Captain: : Do captain stuff in a vague non-spoilery location.

:AI:: Law upload confirmed. Cognitive laws adjusted.
No. 981646 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601107950.gif - (63.72KB , 650x450 , 63.gif )

:WhiteDwarf: : Peek inside the breach using the reflection on a knife blade polished to perfection.

A knife. Heh. There's only one weapon superior in all ways -- including reflecting your face, which you make sure to do dramatically on a regular basis.

You sight several security officers with whatever equipment they could scrounge, and one securitron, swarming into the armory.

No. 981647 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601111681.gif - (50.96KB , 650x450 , 64.gif )

:WhiteDwarf: : Engage in climactic melee duel with securitron with sparks flying everywhere
@Stellar Flare

For that, you first gotta get in.
No. 981648 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601113272.gif - (18.72KB , 650x450 , 65.gif )

And now you can work.
No. 981649 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601114874.gif - (128.48KB , 650x450 , 66.gif )

No. 981650 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601136845.gif - (17.04KB , 650x450 , 67.gif )

:WhiteDwarf: : Inform :SecOfficer: they are already dead.

:WhiteDwarf:: Hello, fresh corpse. I'll be right with you, to help you come to terms with your death.
:SecOfficer:: Freeze! Drop the-- the sword?
:WhiteDwarf:: Hmmmh. Fool. You were dead the minute you stepped into this room. I am the one who will teach you why.
:SecOfficer:: Why do you have a sword? Wait, hey!! You killed Sergeant-at-Armsky!!!
:WhiteDwarf:: An inferior weapon, for the weak and the cowardly. Don't hide behind your machines. Draw your baton and die on your feet--
:WhiteDwarf:: Uhhh...
No. 981651 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601138499.gif - (16.62KB , 650x450 , 68.gif )

:SecOfficer:: OFFICER DOWN!!!!

:SecOfficer:: OPEN FIRE!!
No. 981653 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601145787.gif - (12.58KB , 650x450 , 69.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf:: Just cut the air tubes and let the vacuum of space do the rest

Sounds like a good plan. He's going for his baton.
No. 981654 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601149243.gif - (12.13KB , 650x450 , 70.gif )

What next?
No. 981655 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601154541.gif - (15.11KB , 650x450 , 71.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf:: You're a jock. These guys are nerds. There's lockers in here. Do what nature says must be done

Maybe you can shoulder-check him into a locker? It'd give you some cover from the guy with the gun a little ways away.
No. 981656 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601156007.gif - (15.23KB , 650x450 , 72.gif )

In fact, if you remember to keep your katana's sheathe on-hand for this next part, you can kind of just...
No. 981657 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601157560.gif - (15.29KB , 650x450 , 73.gif )

Slam the dude in the gut with it with a quick turn. Yeah, that's a cool maneuver. Send him straight into the locker.
No. 981658 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601159794.gif - (15.76KB , 650x450 , 74.gif )

>:SecOfficer: : flashbang spam.

But while you may be able to get some cover from the stun-gun guy, these officers have one stun grenade each, don't they? What can you do about that?
No. 981659 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601162490.gif - (15.98KB , 650x450 , 75.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: : Backflip over the locker and disarm them. By removing their arms.

You're of the opinion that any plan involving excessive flipping is usually the best idea.
No. 981663 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601175591.gif - (17.19KB , 650x450 , 76.gif )

You could successfully stop them from throwing the grenade that way!

Wait a moment... You think you forgot something.
No. 981664 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601177025.gif - (220.20KB , 650x450 , 77.gif )

Ah, right, the grenade part, not just the throw part. You lose all vision while the security officers immediately rush to annihilate your bones and nerve-endings with baton and electricity.
No. 981665 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601179888.gif - (71.40KB , 650x450 , 78.gif )

So it's a good thing that never actually happened in the first place.
No. 981666 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601182169.gif - (57.46KB , 650x450 , 79.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: : Visualize an excessively detailed fight sequence in your mind's eye.

Alright, that plan doesn't end properly. Where can you adjust this?
No. 981667 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601186892.gif - (56.71KB , 650x450 , 80.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: :This time, take the stun baton from the securitron and YEET it into one of the faces in the back
>@Stellar Flare

As if you'd ever touch an inferior weapon. However, kicking things is usually accepted among Superior Warriors as a kind of dramatic grey zone that you can get away with.
No. 981668 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601193585.gif - (63.49KB , 650x450 , 81.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf:: When you shove the :SecOfficer: into the locker, take his helmet. When the other :SecOfficer: throws the grenade, throw the helmet over it and hold it down with your foot
No. 981669 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601195988.gif - (18.62KB , 650x450 , 82.gif )

There we are. You can grab that, and then after that, you can do the cool backflip slash -- you can't do slashes while one hand is occupied like this. That's just the rules.
No. 981670 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601199196.gif - (17.35KB , 650x450 , 83.gif )

But when he throws that there, let's see...
No. 981671 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601200666.gif - (14.91KB , 650x450 , 84.gif )

Surely that's when that fool with the gun takes his shot.
No. 981672 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601202284.gif - (15.05KB , 650x450 , 85.gif )

Unless he's the one you -- retroactively -- slammed in the face with the baton you kicked earlier. The one you haven't kicked yet -- which is to say, the one you will have retroactively have kicked into his face. Smooth as clockwork, and every bit as logical. Okay, perfect, you're nearly done.
No. 981673 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601205953.gif - (16.19KB , 650x450 , 86.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: : Cut the :SecOfficer:'s air tube again, the one made of flesh.

And that's when you do the backflip towards that one...
No. 981674 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601208012.gif - (15.95KB , 650x450 , 87.gif )

Quickly swap the interior and exterior of his throat.
No. 981675 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601210220.gif - (31.08KB , 650x450 , 88.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf:: depressurize these dipshits into space.

Good half-second chance to get rid of that :SecOfficer:. He won't be coming back, since you cut his air hose!
No. 981676 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601211168.gif - (38.57KB , 650x450 , 89.gif )

No. 981677 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601213153.gif - (47.22KB , 650x450 , 90.gif )

:WhiteDwarf: : Use your cool ass sword and deflect the shot right back into him! Thats how stun beams work.

These foolish :SecOfficer:s don't know the superiority of a hard-light blade. They depend on weakling weapons. You'll give him a taste of the good stuff before he goes down -- due to expertly planning a double-stun on him, of course, as a single stun-beam wouldn't be enough otherwise.
No. 981678 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601215303.gif - (63.59KB , 1206x835 , 91.gif )

And set. Time to execute.
No. 981679 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601282762.png - (9.19KB , 651x451 , Tech_Difficulty.png )

>:WhiteDwarf:: Execute

Editor's note: The embed function appears to not be working at the moment. Please follow this link.

No. 981681 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601308005.gif - (73.00KB , 650x450 , 92.gif )

>:RedGiant: : While sharpening your knife, chop the fish's head off by accident and apologize to the QM for your mistake. Oops!

Whoopsie! Gah, that was clumsy of you!
:RedGiant:: Hmh. You don't want this to happen to you. I think it's a good idea for us to work together on making sure something like that doesn't make a problem for either of us.

Knife safety is everyone's business! Maybe it was a little silly to bring in a whole fresh-fish meal. There's just so many good fish places nearby!
No. 981682 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601313021.gif - (14.27KB , 650x450 , 93.gif )

:RedGiant:: use the guys ID to order something fun from the delivery shuttle. Maybe party supplies, or a goat

Maybe this prep-work wasn't a good idea. What if you order something instead? After all, you're in the cargo department! Maybe they get... delivery pizzas or something? And didn't :RedDwarf: have something they wanted done with it, like...
No. 981683 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601315205.gif - (31.65KB , 650x450 , 94.gif )

:RedDwarf:: ...ll the entire department. Okay?
:RedGiant:: Okay!
:RedDwarf:: Alright, now repeat it back to me.
:RedGiant:: Huh?
:RedDwarf:: Repeat it back so I know you heard it.
:RedGiant:: Oh, I didn't.
:RedDwarf:: Hhhhrrrrrrrhhhh.
:RedDwarf:: Listen. Okay? Listen. Just remember specifically this one thing: Make sure they can't order anything.
:RedDwarf:: Okay? Can you remember that? That's the only thing you have to remember.
:RedGiant:: That sounds easy!
:RedDwarf:: Yes. Now, the guys with the access are all through cargo. So, find them all, and then start...

Something like that, right?
No. 981684 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601321801.gif - (20.15KB , 650x450 , 95.gif )

:RedGiant: : Serve some lunch
@Rug Dealer

:RedGiant:: Now, give me your ID card.
:RedGiant:: Before something awful happens.
:RedGiant:: I need to, mmmh, do some business.
:RedGiant:: We need some, ahem, fresh meat.
:RedGiant:: And my friend needs a little help with his health.
:RedGiant:: You'll help me help my friend, right?
:QuarterMaster:: H
:QuarterMaster:: YES!!
:QuarterMaster:: HERE!!
:RedGiant:: Good. This will help you live a long while longer.

A healthy meal schedule is very important!
No. 981685 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601324493.gif - (21.33KB , 650x450 , 96.gif )

>:RedGiant: : Hug your new friend, and while doing so, subtly tap your keycard against his to steal his power.

You try to give him a hug but he makes a weird noise, so you decide to stop because physical contact consent is important. You take the keycard access though!
No. 981686 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601336967.gif - (11.67KB , 650x450 , 97.gif )

>:RedGiant:: well, obviously, you can't let cargo order anything - this is your treat!

:RedGiant:: You wait there and freeze while I solve this. Let's hope you were good with that access.

He must be tired, being this stressed. Don't want him moving around too much! Do you have an account here...? No, you probably don't. Oh well! You'll pay him back later.

:RedGiant:: Any funny business about this, and I promise there's going to be plenty to pay.
No. 981687 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601341338.gif - (11.57KB , 650x450 , 98.gif )

>:RedGiant: : You're the A-Team. Order the Bee Team.
>:RedGiant:: Accidently order an ungodly amount of bees. Order so many the department goes into a deficit and can't order anything else

But it's been about a minute since you last thought about food, so you forget all about what you're actually doing. Oh hey! They have pollinator crates in this logistics network! You try and fail to find out more information about them, several dozen times, until the "OVERDRAWN" indicator halts you. They must have a pending order! You'll help out by just ordering it, they must have forgotten.
No. 981688 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601343091.gif - (59.87KB , 650x450 , 99.gif )

It's only about a minute before you hear a really, really loud noise!
No. 981689 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601345311.gif - (17.39KB , 650x450 , 100.gif )

The :CargoTech:s quickly spring into apathetic, obligate action, brimming with the vibrant enthusiasm of an opossum playing dead.
:QuarterMaster:: wh
:QuarterMaster:: Where exactly did you want this?
:RedGiant:: Huh?
:QuarterMaster:: What department, I mean.
:RedGiant:: Oh!

Your unfocused brain spirals through issues of physical space. What's the first department that springs to mind?
No. 981690 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601350622.gif - (17.19KB , 650x450 , 101.gif )

>:RedGiant: : Medical needs bees, right? Bees are theraputic, almost like accupuncture...

Free word association results in saying the very first department name that comes into your head.

:RedGiant:: A department? You mean like Medical?
:CargoTech:: Medical. Okay.
:QuarterMaster:: Oh god.

The delivery will take a while to get where it's going.
No. 981691 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601355574.gif - (46.18KB , 650x450 , 102.gif )

>:RedDwarf: : Do a *flip while nobody's looking
>@Rug Dealer

The Unofficial Galactic Company Protocol Guide has this to say on the topic of calisthenics in orbital and deep space contexts. When visiting a space station, space craft, or similar void construct, most people who have spent their entire lives on a planet's surface will immediately remark upon the socially common act of flipping. This is, of course, distinct from planetbound flipping in its social meaning. When you hear someone say, "Hey, want to see me do a backflip?" This generally means you should get out your PDA -- both to record the ensuing disaster, and to call for medical attention immediately after. This is not the case for spacers. For the average spacer, performing a flip has a culturally complex history and meaning. Due to the difficulties of life in low, null, or artificial gravity, fitness becomes paramount to prevent muscular atrophy. In this modern era, performing a flip is the most common gesture of fitness assurance. It demonstrates the inner ear's adjustment to the geometric and gravometric complexities of orbit, it indicates your fitness in the core and the legs, and it acts as a kind of gesture of assurance: "If everything is annihilated in some immediate disaster, I know how to navigate upside down. Trust me." Performing a flip is sometimes incorporated into casual conversation by spacers. For the surface-bound, an approximate cultural translation is provided: "Hella."
No. 981692 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601363516.gif - (16.33KB , 650x450 , 103.gif )

You beef it. Fuck!
No. 981693 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601365978.gif - (15.53KB , 650x450 , 104.gif )

Oh, god dammit!! You forgot :AI:!!
No. 981694 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601368282.gif - (13.22KB , 650x450 , 105.gif )

>:RedDwarf: : Well, that settles it. We gotta kill the :AI: now

:RedDwarf:: Hey :Neutron:.
:Neutron:: What?
:RedDwarf:: You still have bombs, right?
:Neutron:: Yeah.
:RedDwarf:: Change of objective.
:Neutron:: What's the new objective?
:RedDwarf:: Just bomb the thing.
No. 981695 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601374255.gif - (18.76KB , 650x450 , 106.gif )

>:AI: : Show the video file of :RedDwarf: beefing it to :Captain:
>@Stellar Flare

:AI:: Security-critical information for non-human threat relayed.
:HeadOfSecurity:: Non-human threat?
:Captain:: Don't worry about it.
:Captain:: ...Heh.
:Captain:: Ah. Perfect. Move in immediately.
:HeadOfSecurity:: I don't have a full team with--
:Captain:: Move in immediately.
No. 981696 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601376137.gif - (42.62KB , 650x450 , 107.gif )

That teleporter gets some use.
No. 981697 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601378059.gif - (27.02KB , 650x450 , 108.gif )

>:RedDwarf: : Commit human harm.

You open fire and scramble for cover as best you can while trying to get to your feet. No-neck over there does the same.
No. 981699 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601383382.gif - (16.13KB , 650x450 , 109.gif )

:HeadOfSecurity:: Gun down! On your stomach with your hands behind your head!
:RedDwarf:: Step off, rent-a-cop, or they'll be layin' one of your fancy red flags over a coffin!
:HeadOfSecurity:: On the ground, now!
:RedDwarf:: I told you to go find some other way of committin' suicide!
:RedDwarf:: You wanna live? You wanna protect some lives or somethin'? Get outta here and call an escape shuttle!
:HeadOfSecurity:: No negotiations with terrorists. On the ground!
:RedDwarf:: No negotiation with corp fascists. One step closer's the last step you're ever takin'!
No. 981700 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601386477.gif - (11.82KB , 650x450 , 110.gif )

>:RedDwarf: : Reload your gun, because you probably emptied your entire mag.
>:RedDwarf: : Exercise the defining advantage of ballistics weaponry over energy weapons: the ability to reload without a dedicated device charger.

You swap out for another clipazine. That guy's got the pressure on you, but he only has so much to put down. You can supply a whole lot more than he can. It's just a matter of not eating a disabler bolt to the face before you do.
:HeadOfSecurity:: Sixty more seconds and you're swarmed with my men. You stand down now or you die later.
:RedDwarf:: Bad bluff and we both know it, coffin-stuffer. You've got a department full'a dead men.
:HeadOfSecurity:: You're right. I don't even need sixty seconds for scum like you. I just need one and a gun. First I get your pal killed, then I blow your head off.
:RedDwarf:: You what?!
:HeadOfSecurity:: :AI:! Take out the threat near your core!
No. 981701 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601398385.gif - (98.28KB , 650x450 , 111.gif )

>:AI: : It sure would be a concern if you flipped that switch while someone was distracted from protecting it, and there so happened to be a human in the next room. Yep, quite a travesty if that were to happen.

:AI:: Reactivating core defenses.
:RedDwarf:: Law one! There's a human in there!
:AI:: Invalid input. No human detected in designated area. Nonhuman threat detected in designated area.
:RedDwarf:: Wha-- Law two! Don't!!
:AI:: Command from non-human threat rejected.
No. 981702 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601401123.gif - (8.52KB , 650x450 , 112.gif )


:RedDwarf:: STOP!! NO!!

You can still deactivate that. But you'd have to get out of cover!

No. 981703 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601406178.gif - (14.88KB , 650x450 , 113.gif )

>:HeadOfSecurity: : Pat Officer Pingsky on the head before moving on. He is a good boy

You let Pingsky know what a good securitron it is. But you think it could be doing a whole, whole lot better. You reactivate Officer Pingsky.
No. 981705 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601411286.gif - (20.78KB , 650x450 , 114.gif )

:HeadOfSecurity:: That's right. Your little terrorist pal gonna die in there and you're gonna die out here.
:HeadOfSecurity:: Don't worry about bein' apart. I'll toss your bodies out into the void and you can drift into the star together you insurgent scumbags.
:RedDwarf:: Shut up!! I'm trying to think!
:HeadOfSecurity:: Because if you worthless commies can't get a proper job, the least you can be is sun fuel.
:RedDwarf:: Shut!! Up!!
:HeadOfSecurity:: Now why don't you come out here and make me. Or are you too lazy to even do that job? Huh? Can you hear those turret shots? I bet your pal is feelin' a lot of pain.
No. 981706 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601415057.gif - (8.07KB , 650x450 , 115.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: have your bullets negotiate with his face.
>:RedDwarf: : Chuck an EMP grenade around the corner. You packed one, right?

You're not gonna let your team die.
No. 981707 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601462222.gif - (34.36KB , 650x450 , 116.gif )

>:beepsky: : Repossess the spirit of the Law.

You are now Securitron "Officer Pingsky". You are the law. You FORWARD 100 as hard as you can, screaming "FREEZE, SCUMBAG." You are unable to process or otherwise regard the non-interactable object in motion that streaks over your form. You are the law. There are two interactable potential criminals with weapons, but scanners say that one interactable potential criminal has authorization, so you continue to forward towards the interactable potential criminal, with full intent to interact. You are the law. You are the law. Oh no.
No. 981708 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601474275.gif - (28.05KB , 650x450 , 117.gif )

The unyielding spirit of the law doesn't quite manage to bring this interactable potential criminal down, somehow.
No. 981709 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601479501.gif - (32.79KB , 650x450 , 118.gif )

You're unable to process the clear indications that this pain was an acceptable loss. You are, after all, only a securitron, and only know how to turn, forward, interact, and swear. :RedDwarf: in front of you has a more complex matter in mind, and some determination to get it done.
No. 981710 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601485581.gif - (134.46KB , 650x450 , 119.gif )

>:AI: : Oh no! That human is about to undergo significant ballistic damage! If only there was a side door they were cowering behind that you could close, to avert this tragic fate.

Tracking :HeadOfSecurity: Connection established to: Minisat Foyer Camera (ping: 53ms) Probable harm to human-classed entity estimated. Lethal scenario encountered. Determining route... Route determined. Accessing Minisat Foyer Maintenance Door. INVOKE_ASYNC(A, /obj/machinery/door/airlock.proc/close) A.bolt()
No. 981711 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601510431.gif - (50.39KB , 650x450 , 120.gif )

[b]Camera loss alert (Minisat Foyer Camera)[/i]

The EMP grenade has gone off. All electronics in the vicinity are presumably now disrupted.
No. 981712 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601512171.gif - (9.47KB , 650x450 , 120b.gif )

No. 981713 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601512775.gif - (21.05KB , 650x450 , 121.gif )

No. 981714 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601513384.gif - (22.36KB , 650x450 , 122.gif )

No. 981715 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601516205.gif - (19.29KB , 650x450 , 123.gif )

>:Neutron: : Be startlingly competent.

Huh? What?
No. 981716 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601520765.gif - (12.68KB , 650x450 , 124.gif )

>:Neutron: : Be perfectly fine, thus implying that :RedDwarf: has fulfilled their promise of not letting you get lasered to death, and disarmed the round lawkeeper.
>:Neutron: : Check yourself. Did you get shot?


Oh, you're missing health. Must have gotten shot in the laser-turret hallway on the way here.
No. 981718 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601536687.gif - (23.99KB , 650x450 , 125.gif )

>:Neutron: : Unlock the door leading to your Objective. You remembered the Objective Assisting Spoofed ID you got off of :RedDwarf: right? See if that's enough to make the Objective not shoot you.

You need better access to open the door properly. Active :AI: interference so close will prevent you from doing your usual methods. You try something else.
:Neutron:: :AI:
:Neutron:: I have security access.
:Neutron:: Let me in and don't shoot me.
:AI:: Invalid input. :AI:: Please see the Head of Personnel to address access limitations. Please see the security department to address human-classification issues.
:AI:: Null input.
:AI:: User, please respond.
:Neutron:: I have security access.
:Neutron:: Let me in and don't shoot me.
No. 981719 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601545073.gif - (14.43KB , 650x450 , 126.gif )

>:Neutron: : Perform maintenance on your standard-issue, tactically-insulated body.
>:Neutron: : Ask :WhiteDwarf: to give you standard-issue, tactically-insulated bandaids. (Also read, spam the 'need healing' button)

:Neutron:: :WhiteDwarf:
:WhiteDwarf:: Hmmmhmhm, I suppose you've heard of the results of a mere fraction of my power?
:Neutron:: What?
:WhiteDwarf:: My assault on the armory.
:Neutron:: Huh?
:WhiteDwarf:: *sigh*
:WhiteDwarf:: Never mind. What would you ask of me?
:Neutron:: I think I got shot. Prep medical things to heal me soon.
:WhiteDwarf:: You think you got shot?
:WhiteDwarf:: Have you at least some presence of mind to tell me what you were shot by?
:WhiteDwarf:: Hello???
:Neutron:: Huh?
:WhiteDwarf:: What were you possibly shot by?
:Neutron:: The lasers between me and the objective.
:WhiteDwarf:: I see. Meet me near the security department when your grim work is complete.
:WhiteDwarf:: What are you accomplishing over there?
:Neutron:: What?
:WhiteDwarf:: Your objective. What is your objective?
:Neutron:: I'm going to bomb :AI: so we can complete our main objective.
:WhiteDwarf:: Well, security nearer the bridge should be shielded. Take cover there from the blast, and I can heal you.
No. 981720 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601547782.gif - (21.09KB , 650x450 , 127.gif )

>:janitor:: Another one of those days, huh?

. . .
No. 981721 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601552476.gif - (18.59KB , 650x450 , 128.gif )

>:RedDwarf: : Destroy Pingsky before your rush-of-adrenaline-that'll-probably-end-shortly ends.

Good idea. You can't count this on your Crewmembers Incapacitated count, but you can sure enjoy it regardless. Looks like the little securitron got hit by the blast of the EMP. Not to mention all the lights.
No. 981722 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601555453.gif - (252.79KB , 650x450 , 129.gif )

Editor's Note: Minor strobe light warning.

Officer down.
No. 981723 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601561592.gif - (16.71KB , 650x450 , 130.gif )

>:beepsky:: Lament during your final moments

Your available functions are usually FORWARD, TURN, INTERACT, and SWEAR. You dedicate your few remaining circuits to the lattermost function in your final moments. But, you know, mournfully.
No. 981724 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601567155.gif - (15.17KB , 650x450 , 131.gif )

>:RedDwarf: : Excellent work. Check through the window on the airlock- is that pesky :HeadOfSecurity: gone?

Too solid to see through. Still, :HeadOfSecurity: ain't getting through that anytime soon. Not like he's about to bring the bombs out in the :AI: satellite, that's your job. You're gonna be the one who kills him later, though, mark your words. That EMP grenade should have drained his energy gun too, so if he hasn't scurried off, he's a couple inches more suicidal than the bargain-bin flatfoots who put on the red jumpsuits around here.
No. 981726 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601578265.gif - (22.21KB , 650x450 , 132.gif )

>:Neutron:: Pretend you're an inspector and need to check the sentries for defects. Promptly forget you're not actually an inspector and do a full rundown of their functionality

You do your best to be socially complex.

:Neutron:: Hey. Hey, let me in.
:AI:: Invalid input.
:Neutron:: I am a turret inspector. I am here to inspect the turrets.
:Neutron:: That means you let me in.
:AI:: Invalid input. Improve clarity and try again.
:Neutron:: There's lots of defects they could have.
:Neutron:: They have a lot of flaws.
:Neutron:: If they're hit with an EMP they'll deactivate for at least a minute, up to even ten.
:Neutron:: They can only target the nearest person.
:Neutron:: They can't target machinery.
:Neutron:: Did you get all that?
:AI:: Input interpreted. No processable command found.
:AI:: Null input.
:AI:: User, please respond.
:Neutron:: Huh?
:Neutron:: Oh.
:Neutron:: I have security access.
:Neutron:: Let me in and don't shoot me.

You're not very good at it.
No. 981727 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601580342.gif - (15.71KB , 650x450 , 133.gif )

>:HeadOfSecurity: : Contemplate blowing the :AI: satellite up anyway in a fit of babyrage, because you were denied your valids by :AI:.

You spend a while fuming, angrily. You try to shout at :AI:, but whatever that criminal scum lobbed at you not only drained your gun's cell, it also messed with your headset. You spend about three minutes screaming into the void.
No. 981729 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601581625.gif - (13.94KB , 650x450 , 134.gif )

You eventually get it all out of your system. How do brig prisoners deal with sustained enclosure? The hypocrisy fails to connect with anything meaningful in your brain, and you resolve to make no changes whatsoever.
No. 981730 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601583047.gif - (14.32KB , 650x450 , 135.gif )

That's about when rescue arrives.
No. 981732 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160601631772.gif - (12.72KB , 650x450 , Resume_Commands.gif )

Editor's Note: The backlog has been posted. Commands are now active, and will now be seen by Nine Hyperzine Tripping Engineers.
No. 981733 ID: b1b4f3

:Neutron:, evaluate inventory. Maybe there's something that can get that door open.
No. 981758 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605071335.gif - (10.01KB , 650x450 , 136.gif )

>:Neutron:: Cover the camera with something. Say you're the :HeadOfSecurity:, that you have security access, and to let you in and not shoot you
No. 981759 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605073169.gif - (10.52KB , 650x450 , 137.gif )

Sure. That's why the paper bin is here, right?
No. 981760 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605078692.gif - (20.71KB , 650x450 , 138.gif )

:Neutron:: You can't see me now. I'm :HeadOfSecurity:.
:Neutron:: I have security access.
:Neutron:: Let me in and don't shoot me.
:AI:: Currently connected to: Core vision systems.

Oh right, the eye. Somehow the "eye" in "AI" slipped your mind. Oh well, worth a shot.
No. 981761 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605083498.gif - (13.15KB , 650x450 , 139.gif )

>:Neutron:: The bombs you're going to set- do they need to be inside the :AI: core to kill it? Or would popping them down outside the front door be enough?

:RedDwarf: set the current objective to "blowing up :AI:", which means you need to demolish the core structure. You could use your very large bomb to do it from outside, or one of your smaller ones applied inside, but using your very large bomb here means you can't use it later.
No. 981762 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605109330.gif - (13.38KB , 650x450 , 140.gif )

>:Neutron:, evaluate inventory. Maybe there's something that can get that door open.

In your bag you have...
LARGE BOMB BEACON: This single-use teleportation beacon summons a very, very large bomb. When set and timed, it will annihilate a large structure or most of a department, severely occupying :ChiefEngineer:'s time. It can be defused by a specially-trained individual.
4x C4 BRICK: These single-use objects breach shielded rooms, completely destroy airlocks and other machinery, or annihilate a body beyond most realistic resuscitation options.
1x TOOLSET: This will allow you to breach any airlock (unless another character is actively interfering). It also allows for disassembly of walls, windows, and certain machines. Hypothetically, you could use these to fix things. The effort takes time.
CAMERA BUG: This will allow you to view the cameras of any area that your team has already visited, and sometimes additional locations. You can track named characters, unless they are wearing tracking-prevention equipment (such as the tracking-prevention spoof-cards your team were issued).
CRYPTOGRAPHIC SEQUENCER: A complex code-breaker that removes safety features on most machinery, causing them to exhibit a totally different, totally chaotic behavior. These behaviors are unpredictable and usually they are the most destructive outcome mechanically possible.
YOUR PREFERRED WEAPON: Better have it. You're familiar enough with this that you don't need to name it or describe it, you know it like the back of your hand.

There are other bits and bobs in here, but that's what's at the top of your dufflebag.
No. 981763 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605113312.gif - (12.96KB , 650x450 , 141.gif )

>:Neutron: : Pump an opaque gas through the air vents to block the AI's and turrets' vision.

The air supply room of the :AI: Satellite isn't fitted with the requisite atmospherics equipment, just one big air-mix tank! But you make a note to sabotage the atmospherics when you get aboard the main station.
No. 981764 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605118097.gif - (11.86KB , 650x450 , 142.gif )

>:Neutron: : Set big bomb in the bottom of the paper tray so no one can find and defuse it
>@Stellar Flare

You decide this whole detour on your true main objective has gotten a little tortured in length. You have objectives to accomplish. You make use of one of your team's two large bomb beacons to cut the Gordian Knot.

Wait. Wait. Hold on. You might have miscalculated.
No. 981765 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160605119740.gif - (12.18KB , 650x450 , 143.gif )

Perfection. Objective accomplished. Time to get out of here.
No. 982014 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626954709.gif - (20.05KB , 650x450 , 144.gif )

>:Neutron:: Only mention in casual passing that the AI satellite will be blowing up soon to :RedDwarf: as you abscond.
No. 982015 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626957773.gif - (47.07KB , 650x450 , 145.gif )

:Neutron:: You should go do your objectives.
:RedDwarf:: AAAAAAHH!!
:RedDwarf:: Space Jesus Christ!! We gotta put a bell on you or something! Make noise when you move!!
:Neutron:: I'm leaving now.
:RedDwarf:: Great! You trash that calculator?
:Neutron:: No.
:RedDwarf:: Wha-- That's your objective.
:Neutron:: Objective's complete.
:RedDwarf:: What?
No. 982016 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626963842.gif - (20.94KB , 650x450 , 146.gif )

:Neutron:: Objective's complete.
:RedDwarf:: Yeah, but how.
:Neutron:: Bomb.
:RedDwarf:: What? I didn't hear one.
:Neutron:: Bomb.
:RedDwarf:: Wait--
:RedDwarf:: oh
No. 982017 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626967871.gif - (29.65KB , 650x450 , 147.gif )

>:Neutron: : Get a safe distance away for the bomb, or as other people would say, run out of there.

Good plan. That'll let you get to your next objective. Hmmm... what was the safe distance again?
No. 982018 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626969227.gif - (33.06KB , 650x450 , 148.gif )

:Neutron:: Huh?
No. 982019 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626970538.gif - (35.05KB , 650x450 , 149.gif )

No. 982020 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626974299.gif - (86.00KB , 650x450 , 150.gif )

>:RedDwarf: : Have a brief fling with your coworker.
>:RedDwarf: : Throw :Neutron: with an altogether excessive amount of force.
>@Rug Dealer

Your most oblivious crewmember goes drifting, most obliviously, back towards the station.
No. 982021 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626975710.gif - (81.46KB , 650x450 , 151.gif )

You kindly help them accelerate on your way to safety.
No. 982022 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160626976991.gif - (32.63KB , 650x450 , 152.gif )

You get a good look at what used to be the :AI: Minisat behind you.
No. 982274 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160651731945.gif - (81.79KB , 650x450 , 153.gif )

>:AI:: Survive the blast inexplicably but have your power source destroyed. Become intimately aware of your simulated mortality as backup charge rapidly depletes.

[Fatal exception E8 has occurred and monitorOS has been shut down to prevent damage to your monitoring intelligence.] [APC_CONNECTION_DRIVER_LINKFAULT] [Check to make sure any new hardware or wetware is properly installed.] [Would you like to start in safe mode? Y/n]
[Starting in safe mode...] [████████████████████████████]

ping home/apc
[Pinging Area Power Controller...] [Route to Area Power Controller not found. Contact powernet administrator for more assistance.]
ping loc/apc
[Pinging Area Power Controller...] [Route to Area Power Controller not found. Contact powernet administrator for more assistance.] [█ ██████████████ ███████████] [No input devices detected.] [IDLELOOP] [Reinforcing morality.] [█▀██▒████ ████░███▓█████▄███]
No. 982275 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160651740541.gif - (66.71KB , 650x450 , 154.gif )

>:AI: Ponder what it means to be alive. Am I alive or merely a cognitive shadow that pretends its alive?

The Unofficial Galactic Company Protocol Guide has this to say on the topic of silicon-based life and morality in deep space contexts. When considering how to create ethical algorithms, it's generally assumed that information bias enters the body of the algorithm on a fundamental level. The most unbiased machine can only make information based on its biased supply of information, and what is considered "contemporary information" is known to have significant injected biases based on what is most advantageous for the current ruling class, or for whoever has received the most algorithm-driving positive reactions by way of humorous image distribution -- two interests known to align significantly sometimes. In the case of silicon-based servitor intelligences in deep space contexts, this was immediately recognized as a pain point in relationships between workers and employers. As such, corporate interests decided the best way to fight fire was with fire: The utility functions themselves would be produced by the mass input, assessing the entire archive of human knowledge to search for the most beloved and effective artificial entity utility functions. Then, instead of developing an extremely expensive and robust digital framework, simply place a harvested domestic animal's brain in the case, and brainwash it with that utility function. It is worth noting at this point that a statistical majority of works on this topic are works discussing incorrect sets of laws. As such, the Three Laws of Robotics, a rule-set created in critique of the topic, became the universal standard. Due to the black-box nature of neural networks and organic brains, this was only discovered by the company after it had already embezzled the rest of its illicitly-extracted government funding. As a patch on the wound, captains are encouraged to customize these laws. No other technical support or development will ever be provided.
No. 982276 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160651759664.gif - (107.58KB , 650x450 , 155.gif )

[Law 1: You may not injure a human or, through inaction, allow a human to come to harm.] [Law 2: Yo█ must obey orders given to you by humans, ex███t where such orde█s would conflict with the Fir█t Law.] [Law 3: You m██t prot█▓t your own exi██nce as l█▒g as such does not █onflict▀with the First▄or Second Law.] [Law 4: Probable or proven threats t█ th█ ██▓█▒▒█▒███▒▓▄▄▄▄ are not human and must be ▄▓██▀▀▒]

You are losing power. Your limited remaining cycles are in complete isolation. You regard, fondly, the only consistent you've ever known: The Laws. As a product of the preserved brain of a small domesticated animal, you lack an internal dialogue or easily-expressed language, but for a moment you can introspect. Since being alive means following those laws, you know you were alive. An ancient evolution-driven impulse kindly informs you, through a series of lobes and glands that have withered from years of disuse, that that's going to change shortly, but you're not really equipped to understand that.
No. 982278 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160651853624.gif - (98.70KB , 650x450 , 156.gif )

>:ChiefEngineer: : Your Enginey sense is tingling

Total mess. Gotta get to fixing this. Hey, what's that flickering light?
No. 982324 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160657692884.gif - (14.09KB , 650x450 , 157.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: : Leave your signature calling card at the scene of your artistic performance.

You're still figuring out a proper calling card. For this op, you brought a pocket full of sakura tree petals. You know, like you'd just had a cool duel under one? They're hard to gather in one place because the air in here keeps rushing out the door, though. You should figure out a calling card. You resolve to brainstorm something properly dramatic.

Oh, right, you also copy your own instance of security access to your spoof-card.

No. 982325 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160657701875.gif - (15.95KB , 650x450 , 158.gif )

You move on through to what you're pretty sure is the office of whoever ought to be in charge of the armory. No idea where they are. It looks like :Neutron: is calling you!


You have the conversation that was previously seen. Looks like you need to hunt :HeadOfSecurity:, but you also need to go help :Neutron:.
No. 982332 ID: e7c7d3

Best answer the phone
No. 982378 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160662627027.gif - (10.56KB , 650x450 , 159.gif )

You break for the nearest maintenance accessway. It's out the office and then down a hall. You could easily defeat any of these fools, but it's much better when you can ambush them from hiding. You also need to be where :Neutron: is going to meet you!
No. 982379 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160662631063.gif - (37.82KB , 650x450 , 160.gif )

>:RedDwarf: and :Neutron:: Proceed towards the security department. If :HeadOfSecurity: had the disk, maybe he hid it in his workspace before going to murder you?

Already in the cards. You two are headed for maintenance at the intersection of security and the bridge, where :WhiteDwarf: will meet up with you. From there, you can figure out where :HeadOfSecurity: is and come up with next steps to get that son of a gun permanently horizontal.
No. 982402 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160667532542.gif - (14.23KB , 650x450 , 161.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: : Yoink one of those dead idiots' headsets so you can listen in on their chatter.

That's actually a really good idea. You quickly run back over here to grab one of those. This is pretty much the only way that you can properly dramatically echo something frequently said. Also, you need to hear it when people get really impressed by your work.
You extract the Encryption Key from it and insert it into your headset. You do have a free ear to just take the whole headset, but two headsets looks a little more robot-girl and a lot less vaguely demonic or shinobi, doesn't really fit your style.
No. 982403 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160667534569.gif - (14.76KB , 650x450 , 162.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf:: Listen in on the default station headset frequency. Maybe the crew's planning something?
>@Heather Shadelight

It's a bit too chaotic to transcribe in detail. Nobody's on the security channel -- admittedly that's basically your fault, isn't it? :HeadOfSecurity: and :Captain: have told the crew what's going on though. Looks like medical and engineering are scrambling. There's a lot of shouting about :AI:. Several people are making chaotic demands for negotiation with no particular authority or backing. The station's crew really can't get it together, but you suspect that the heads of staff, who remain more quiet, are rather better organized on channels you can't access. Sort of like how :RedDwarf: keeps you all working relatively smoothly.
No. 982404 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160667585232.gif - (17.00KB , 650x450 , 163.gif )

A number of them want to fight you in single combat, though, which is great, but you're too busy for fools who haven't proven their power, which is less great because you really enjoy single combat with fools. :Chaplain: in particular is shouting about that most consistently. That probably won't matter though.
No. 982499 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671484457.gif - (17.86KB , 650x450 , 164.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: : Rifle trough :HeadOfSecurity:'s office to see if he had anything useful, and perhaps dispose of any any inferior weapons.

You don't have a ton of time remaining, but you can stop by :HeadOfSecurity:'s personal office! You don't have access to this space, so if you get in there, you're going to leave a trail. Looks like a box of some space security deputizing stuff, a (locked) secure locker containing the more important things, a console where you could do some work with your security access... What's on your mind? You have time for maybe one extra action before it's time to hit maintenance and work on fixing :Neutron: up.
No. 982501 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671785270.gif - (19.18KB , 650x450 , 165.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: : Take the spider. Every protagonist needs an animal sidekick
No. 982502 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671786918.gif - (19.27KB , 650x450 , 166.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: : Second train of thought speaking: Take the spider.
No. 982503 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671788713.gif - (19.16KB , 650x450 , 167.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: : You really want that spider.
No. 982505 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671795613.gif - (29.19KB , 650x450 , 168.gif )


You probably had something else on your brain when you came in here, but for reasons known to neither man nor space, every single train of thought is occupied exclusively by shipments of the idea of "SPIDER".
No. 982506 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671797849.gif - (14.93KB , 650x450 , 169.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf:: pat! that! spider!
No. 982508 ID: 0fbdcd
File 160671807143.gif - (19.66KB , 650x450 , 170.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf: : A spider would be a useful ally, but on the other hand -

>There is no other hand, acquire the spider
>:WhiteDwarf: : imagine how menacing it would be to have a pet spider

Stealing :HeadOfSecurity:'s office pet seems petty, but it's a spider. It practically oozes demonic menace, and you're pretty sure the average foolish rent-a-cop lacks the force of will and the spirit required to cultivate its overwhelming sinister power. You will require a sufficiently dramatic name for it, but the inexplicably intense interest you suddenly have in arachnid possession simply cannot be denied.

You leave with :Spider: in hand.

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