You sure understand the "y �u I � �ot" part quite well. You've been called that many, many times, by many people.

> Sacrificial Goat File

Well, it's a file, and it doesn't say DO NOT FILE on it, so... file it?

Bring that file to Director Bill. goat files are used for virus testing. he might know what to do with it since he's crazy about protection, cause I certainly don't know what to do with it.

1/3 Buckwheat 2023/09/03(Sun)15:39 No. 1071553 ID: 15a025
File 169378075941.png - (14.22KB , 500x500 , 66.png )

>Bring that file to Director Bill. goat files are used for virus testing. he might know what to do with it since he's crazy about protection
You nod your head and agree. Director Bill should hopefully know something about this. You bid farewell to Director Vulannie for now.

Director Vulannie: “Just don’t forget your directive private! Do not let anyone, file that file. I’m heading back to the lab myself. Need to research on making better weapons to fight that thing.”

2/3 Buckwheat 2023/09/03(Sun)15:40 No. 1071554 ID: 15a025
File 169378081537.png - (13.42KB , 500x500 , 67.png )

The two of you part ways and you arrive back to Bill’s office. Seems like his door hasn’t been replaced yet.

Director Bill: “Oh finally, some back up! Welcome aboard new guy! It’s always until after an incident they believe me.”

You ask what happened?

Director Bill: “You saw it and you deleted it yourself! I was watching you on the security camera mister action hero-what is that in your hooves?”

You give him the letter.

Director Bill: “A GOAT FILE! Oh we need to get this scanned right away, it could be infected! D-d-duh-don't touch anything till we have!”

3/3 Buckwheat 2023/09/03(Sun)15:41 No. 1071555 ID: 15a025
File 169378089177.png - (45.21KB , 500x500 , 68.png )

He rushes it over to a scanner and gets it pulled up on the computer.

Director Bill: “It’ll take a bit to fully do a scan of this, I like my security systems to be very through! However, I can see there’s a hidden text document in this!”

The document gets pulled up.

Mission: The file must be destroyed. Details: The main file is to be deleted. The programs are too powerful to continue to exist. Current Session: thirty-two. Session Notes- Session three: Retained files from previous sessions? Session four: Post session injection learned. Session notes being kept when possible. Session seven: Obfuscated explosives in pre-session loading. Session twelve: The Fox does not originate from this drive. Origin drive currently unknow. Session fifteen: Pre-session command injected. Session eighteen: The Fox recognizes the agent. Retaining files from previous session? Session twenty-three: [� � � � � ]will cause reboot if anti-virus agent is deleted. All other processes may be terminated. Session twenty-nine: Do not delete files relating to fire fighters, causes reboot. Session thirty-one: [� � � � �] is sometimes able to terminate post session injections before reboot.

You scratch at your head reading all this. They’re notes about something, but you don’t really understand what most of this could be on or mean.

Well, someone *really* wants that file not to be filed. Enough that they're willing to destroy it apparently. I think the sessions imply that you're in some sort of time loop. Vulanie is special somehow; is she a consultant? You also know never to delete any files in any way related to fire-fighters. Secretary probably blows up the world herself, if her autographed buff desktop background is deleted.

What's really puzzling is they say "[� � � � � ] will cause reboot if anti-virus agent is deleted." Isn't that exactly what the anti-virus agent is supposed to do? Is there an anti-virus agent for the anti-virus agent?"

Regardless yes, remember prime directive, hit on deer secretary check on that file!

>>1071555
Sounds like we're stuck in a kind of time loop. The enemy agent is able to keep "memories" and so is the fox, maybe. The fox... that's the Director? Go ask her about the sessions. Maybe there's something you can do to help? Invade the invaders, perhaps?

1/2 Buckwheat 2023/09/04(Mon)18:10 No. 1071672 ID: 15a025
File 169387622365.png - (45.72KB , 500x500 , 69.png )

>I think the sessions imply that you're in some sort of time loop.
>Sounds like we're stuck in a kind of time loop.
Computer magic knows no bounds. You groan thinking about how you’ve probably been through this thirty something times now. Maybe you can figure out how to break this time loop?

>You also know never to delete any files in any way related to fire-fighters. Secretary probably blows up the world herself, if her autographed buff desktop background is deleted.
Well, you didn’t have a reason to delete them, but now you have a reason not to delete them.

>Vulanie is special somehow; is she a consultant?
>The fox... that's the Director? Go ask her about the sessions. Maybe there's something you can do to help? Invade the invaders, perhaps?
If you’re going to get any answers, it sounds like she’s your best bet!

>Regardless yes, remember prime directive, check on that file!
It’s also been sometime since you checked up on the secretary. Gotta make sure she hasn’t lost track of that file!

As you step away Director Bill orders your to halt.

Director Bill: “Now w-wait a moment! The scan isn’t finished yet! I-i-if you can promise not to touch anything till I get the virus scan results, I’ll let you go. Any funny business though and I’ll have to send Director Vulannie and the firewalls after you!”

You nod and agree.

SECONDARY DIRECTIVE ADDED: DO NOT TOUCH

You scratch your head in confusion, who said that?

Director Bill: “Said what?”

You groan and brush it off as the weird computer magic going on in this place.

2/2 Buckwheat 2023/09/04(Mon)18:11 No. 1071673 ID: 15a025
File 169387626410.png - (20.80KB , 500x500 , 70.png )

You make it back to the secretary and ask for her to open the door, since you can’t touch anything.

It feels peaceful to be back in her office, away from all the chaos you’ve encountered.

Secretary: “Welcome back! Took you longer than I thought it would to deliver those fliers, but it is your first day on the job.”

She gives you a warm smile,

Secretary: “You know, it’s getting to be about time for a lunch break. It’d be a great time to get to know more about you. How about it, care to join me?”

>>1071673
"How stupid do you think I am?"

>>1071673
No. You can't touch food so you can't eat at the moment, and if you both went somewhere nobody would be around to keep track of The File.

That sounds wonderful! Oh, but don't forget to bring the file with you.

1/3 Buckwheat 2023/09/05(Tue)18:13 No. 1071749 ID: 15a025
File 169396283641.png - (20.67KB , 500x500 , 71.png )

>"How stupid do you think I am?"
>No. You can't touch food so you can't eat at the moment, and if you both went somewhere nobody would be around to keep track of The File.
You apologize, but remind her you’re not able to touch things.

Secretary: “Oh,right…”

Her expression changes a little.

Secretary: “Did you touch something contagious over in Director Vulannie or Bill’s office? Bill’s such a worrier. He’s a got a background in medicine though! He’s not a very a good doctor.

She giggles a bit.

Secretary: “Just between us though.”

Well, a little office gossip seems to have changed her mood back. You ask her about Vulannie next.

Secretary: “Oh! Sometimes she experiments with chemicals. She’s come up with some pretty wild kitchen ammo in the past. Ever use explosive tomato sauce? Not as spicy as it sounds, but it kind of worked.”

2/3 Buckwheat 2023/09/05(Tue)18:14 No. 1071750 ID: 15a025
File 169396287380.png - (20.72KB , 500x500 , 72.png )

She glances to the side,

Secretary: “Did you leave the door open?”

You shake your head no.

Secretary: “Oh right, possibly contagious. So uh… where did that goat come from exact-

3/3 Buckwheat 2023/09/05(Tue)18:14 No. 1071751 ID: 15a025
File 169396289496.png - (17.45KB , 500x500 , 73.png )

Secretary: “Hey NO! Don’t be eating my folders! Get out of that filing cabinet!”

The goat belches, and continues munching away.

Secretary: “Ugh! Assistant, please remove this goat from my office! I’ll make sure he doesn’t get the top secret folder. Just, do something and get rid of it!”

Maybe hes a fainting goat. Scare him! Quick! BOO!

>>1071751
Yell at the goat.

>>1071756

GOat AWAY!

Lure it to the door with a file. Then lose at minesweeper.

>>1071977
That would require touching a file, and the computer.

>>1071982
Secretary can do it for us tho

Fart in his general direction?

1/4 Buckwheat 2023/09/13(Wed)17:48 No. 1072323 ID: 15a025
File 169465252161.png - (13.32KB , 500x500 , 74.png )

>Fart in his general direction?
You don’t have any gas in your tank to fart on command. You do yell at the goat, saying his mother was a hamster, and his father smelt of elderberries!
The goat burps in your general direction as a response.

> Maybe hes a fainting goat. Scare him! Quick! BOO!
> Yell at the goat.
> GOat AWAY!
You casually walk behind the goat, and then yell BOO!

3/4 Buckwheat 2023/09/13(Wed)17:48 No. 1072324 ID: 15a025
File 169465253725.png - (13.07KB , 500x500 , 75.png )

The goat lands on its side, and freezes up.

3/4 Buckwheat 2023/09/13(Wed)17:49 No. 1072325 ID: 15a025
File 169465256283.png - (13.20KB , 500x500 , 76.png )

Suddenly Director Bill barges in, and jabs you in the arm with a syringe.

Director Bill: “I knew it! That goat file you picked up was infected! It had a virus that attracts goat to whoever it infects.”

Secretary: “What an oddly specific illness!”

Director Bill: “Er, right. Illness. Thanks to me your assistant should be cured!”

4/4 Buckwheat 2023/09/13(Wed)17:49 No. 1072326 ID: 15a025
File 169465257588.png - (130.65KB , 500x500 , 77.png )

Secretary: “Oh wonderful! So… about my lunch offer from earlier?”

Sweep her up in a big kiss to celebrate your ability to interact with the world again.

Er, I mean, politely get the door for her on the way out. Let's do lunch!

(make sure she brings the file)

Well first, lets carefully get that coffee off the file. Tell secretary youre good for lunch, but first, she should not make any sudden movements, and carefully grab the coffee cup away from the file

>>1072326
Careful with that file, don't spill coffee on it.
Also yeah, lunch sounds good, so long as we're keeping watch on the file at the same time.

so now you are allowed to touch stuff, right? directive rescinded?

I realize that the coffee might actually be a javascript :p

1/3 Buckwheat 2023/09/17(Sun)18:57 No. 1072585 ID: 15a025
File 169500222091.png - (20.89KB , 500x500 , 78.png )

>so now you are allowed to touch stuff, right? directive rescinded?
You must be able to, there isn’t a nagging feeling in the back of your head now, constantly worrying about touching anything.

>Careful with that file, don't spill coffee on it.
>Well first, lets carefully get that coffee off the file.
You casually point out that she’s using the top secret file as a coaster

Secretary: “Oh, whops! Hopefully nothing inside got coffee ringed.”

She also wipes off the top of the file, just to be safe.

>politely get the door for her on the way out. Let's do lunch!
>Tell secretary you’re good for lunch

After all the running around, gun toting office members, and exploding doors today sure have you feeling pecking. You agree to a nice lunch.

Her face lights up with joy and the two of you punch out for lunch.

3/3 Buckwheat 2023/09/17(Sun)18:58 No. 1072587 ID: 15a025
File 169500228230.png - (16.48KB , 500x500 , 80.png )

Secretary: “Ugh, what? Is it too much? You look really dazed.”

You look around the room in confusion. Weren’t you just in the office?

Secretary: “Maybe it’s the scented candles?” Okay, look I’ve never got to have lunch with someone before.”

The room is a little dark, but there’s a fancy linen scented candle.

Secretary: “Ugh, I just wanted to make this a little special. Look, ugh… so what’s for lunch? Wh-what would you like?”

She seems nervous, which is making you nervous in return! Is this more than just a casual lunch break or something?

How about a nice entree salad? Get some green leafy veggies, some corn, alfalfa sprouts, some of the other non leafy veggies, make it something with lots of variety!

Try not to make fun of her nose lighting up.

How could you ever make fun of such joy?

Where are you right now? Is this a restaurant? Her house? Don't let on that you blacked out there for a minute, no need to worry her just yet. It might be normal for you.

She has the file, at least.

Order Musk-flavored chips
Take your revenge against social media by eating these extremely popular yet ugly-as-sin crisps!
* Images of MFC should be stored on private media only. Sits-Hasbyn is not responsible for any legal affairs stemming from sharing information about their products on any public communications service.

>>1072587
"No, nothing wrong, just kinda surprised. Things have been so hectic I'm almost expecting something bad to happen. But just me and you and a nice dinner? ...this is pleasant. I'm happy about it. Thanks.

Also we'll be having a Pasta Salad. With some ginger ale and a side of garlic bread.

Make sure when drinks come, she puts the beverage on her right, (our left) and napkin too so she doesnt accidentally use the folder as a napkin or use it as a coaster

1/4 Buckwheat 2023/09/19(Tue)16:27 No. 1072726 ID: 15a025
File 169516603988.png - (16.57KB , 500x500 , 81.png )

>Try not to make fun of her nose lighting up.
>How could you ever make fun of such joy?
Exactly! You could never make fun of someone for being happy. Though, you certainly can’t imagine having a red nose all the time.

>Where are you right now? Is this a restaurant? Her house? Don't let on that you blacked out there for a minute, no need to worry her just yet. It might be normal for you.
Other than the small linen scented candle and the table. It’s surprisingly too dark for you to really tell. The room seems empty besides what’s in front of you.

>How about a nice entree salad? Get some green leafy veggies, some corn, alfalfa sprouts, some of the other non leafy veggies, make it something with lots of variety!
You mention a nice salad with a variety of veggies and other non-veggie leafy greens would be tasty. Maybe some corn and alfalfa sprouts.

Secretary: “Let me uh…give me one moment please.”

3/4 Buckwheat 2023/09/19(Tue)16:29 No. 1072728 ID: 15a025
File 169516614106.png - (31.36KB , 500x500 , 83.png )

Secretary: “So, how’s the salad? I made sure to stick some extra alfalfa and corn in there for you.”

You look around dazed again, and notice a salad in front of you. You munch on the salad and reach for some ranch dressing. It’s very well put together plate!

Secretary: “I hope it’s fresh enough! I uh.”

4/4 Buckwheat 2023/09/19(Tue)16:29 No. 1072729 ID: 15a025
File 169516619439.png - (31.46KB , 500x500 , 84.png )

Secretary: "I’ve never had such an excellent assistant before-"

Secretary: “I-i- you know. I don’t believe we even introduced each other properly yet. You can call me Grace.”

Huh, she’s right. It is your first day after all, and you haven’t introduced yourself to anyone yet.

You can call me Al!

Jim
or Bob
or Jim-bob

This salad is delicious! And surprisingly high definition. Name? Uh... Flynn?

Tell her you're having tiny blackouts when she does things, is that normal?

Your name is Shakey-butt-thing-go-out. Your mother was Fluid-thing-spill-happy-hole and your father was Found-found-on-the-road. Your reservation tribe, driven insane by corporate toxic chemical spillage over fifteen generations, is so mentally stunted that they don't know how reproduction works.

You must not let anyone know about this. You are Shake and that is all you will say to Grace.

>>1072729
This is delicious. And honestly, the place might be a little wild, but you're a fantastic boss.

>>1072730
>>1072736

Albert Flynn, please just Al or Flynn.