3/3 Buckwheat 2023/02/09(Thu)18:30 No. 1055663 ID: 15a025
File 167599620858.png - (62.15KB , 500x500 , 8.png )

Suddenly someone comes in and drops a big pile of folders on her desk.

Office Worker: "Hey, we're clearing out the archives. I need you to shred all these folders on your desk."

"Maybe start by putting the file back in your desk before you start shredding all that."

Remember, don't file anything! It all has to go in the shredder. Not in a drawer under your desk.

Oh great. We'll shred these, you physically hold on to your Do Not File until we're done... *urk* carrying... *hup* these out!

Grab the file, which is now at the bottom of the pile, and ask if it wouldn't be funny if...

if the file did a little song.
"Ah do do do, a file." You know? Like an educational show.

As long as you leave the file under the pen holder alone, theres no chance you'll shred it. That said, leave the file under the pen basket alone.

Yesh, is someone from the top coming down to look at the offices or something and the local bosses are trying to tidy up to try and look better then they actually are?

Well at least the special file is still in under the pen holder cup

>>1055663
Don't shred the file under the cup.

Back to work for us all then. Start shredding while only slightly reading whats in the to be destroyed files.

>>1055683
She's actively drinking from the cup, so she might move it and then forget.

Moving the file to a different area of the desk, away from the stack, where you can keep an eye on it, is probably the smart move.

1/2 Buckwheat 2023/02/13(Mon)16:55 No. 1055962 ID: 15a025
File 167633612836.png - (62.07KB , 500x500 , 9.png )

>As long as you leave the file under the pen holder alone, theres no chance you'll shred it. That said, leave the file under the pen basket alone.
Secretary: "Right. It is absolutely not to leave my desk."

>Yesh, is someone from the top coming down to look at the offices or something and the local bosses are trying to tidy up to try and look better than they actually are?
Off screen office worker: "No no no. No. No of course not. See these are just old files for uh...clients or projects we no longer deal with. Certainly not any info that would make us look bad if it were seen or got out."

>Oh great. We'll shred these, you physically hold on to your Do Not File until we're done... *urk* carrying... *hup* these out!

Secretary: "Good! Thank you. While you shred those, I'll be sure to keep an eye on this file while you're gone."

2/2 Buckwheat 2023/02/13(Mon)16:56 No. 1055963 ID: 15a025
File 167633616525.png - (12.86KB , 500x500 , 10.png )

You grunt and huff as you haul the heavy stack of folders, and make your way to the shredder. The room is dim and empty. Guess you're the first person to use this thing today?

>Back to work for us all then. Start shredding while only slightly reading whats in the to be destroyed files.
You start throwing folders into the shredder, while taking a quick peek at the labels. Most of them are just names of clients, or labeled "Client Order Forms", followed with a date.

Shuffled into the mix though, are some oddly labeled folders. "Funny cat pictures", "Newspaper comics", and even "Daily Crosswords."

Do you dare take a peek inside a folder?

Well... nothing is stamped confidential. And even the best shredders take a while. Glance through the folders while the other folders are shredding, make sure there aren't any staples or paper clips or those clippy thingies that are beyond the capacity of that particular shredder to handle.

>>1055963
Sure. Let's see those funny cat pictures.

peek real quick and see if anything catches your eye, then start shredding. also take small brakes to check in on the secretary to make sure she doesn't file the file before heading back to shred more papers.

Yeah, check them out. Just make sure you don't read any Heathcliff. He's bad news.

Wait, double check and make sure its not the file we are not supposed to file before you take a peek. Triple check even.

Take the remaining stack and pop back into the office to make sure she hasn't filed the file, before you do anything else. Then head back to the shredder room and peek the weird files before shredding them. Then return.

Ooh, more Sudoku puzzles for my collection!

1/2 Buckwheat 2023/02/15(Wed)18:36 No. 1056239 ID: 15a025
File 167651501991.png - (37.83KB , 500x500 , 11.png )

>Sure. Let's see those funny cat pictures.
>Yeah, check them out. Just make sure you don't read any Heathcliff. He's bad news.
You're probably safe from seeing Heathcliff in this folder, since it's labeled Funny cats. You open it up, and flip through the pictures. They're all pictures of cats wearing a ham helmet, with the caption, "He's waiting for Ham Day."

At the end of the folder is a note,
"To whoever keeps wasting space and folders in the archives on these nonsensical pictures. When I find you, I will personally eject you out into the recycling bin."

Yeesh. Guess it won't be Ham Day anytime soon.
Ah well, back to shredding.

You toss more files into the shredder, making sure to check that none of them are the Do Not File folder. Some of the other files you see are just labeled "Office Supplies", "Employees of the Month." Nothing really notable.

2/2 Buckwheat 2023/02/15(Wed)18:37 No. 1056240 ID: 15a025
File 167651503422.png - (19.43KB , 500x500 , 12.png )

You hop back into the secretary's office once you're done.

Secretary: "Ah. I see you've finished shredding. I'm in a little bit of a pickle myself though. I can't check my emails, and the phone seems to be down. You wouldn't happen to be one of those computer experts would you? Or maybe you could track down one those computer guys to help me out?

...
*Takes off LotusVR headset*

Where did the pen basket go? Was supposed to be on the do not file folder.

Anyways, our main job is to make sure you dont file that folder, and we cant do that job if we go on fetch quests. Maybe we should stay and help you figure out this computer problem so we can also keep an eye on that folder

Wait, i think those things we shredded were stuff that kept things running, like the employee of the month folder we shredded made that pic in the background a broken image, and that office supplies folder made the pen basket vanish.

What happened to the employee of the month picture?

Wait a minute! Some of the files you are shredding are impacting your local reality!

OH MY GOD YOU ARE IN THE MATRIX AND YOU ARE DELETING FILES RELEVANT TO YOUR CURRENT INSTANCE SPACE IN THAT SHREDDER!!

For all we know, they probably accidentally had us shred the folders that made the phones and computer work. If thats the case, the higher ups should realize something is wrong and fix it soon enough, and the problem should resolve itself. Take a little rest until things fix itself.

Tell her that you are totally one of those computer guys and start looking at her computer. See if she has been looking into any nsfw sites in her history...yknow to see if thats why everything went down.

Wait, were we shredding actual computer files?! How cheap is this place if it won’t get proper servers and just uses paper files for everything? People haven’t done that since the end of the Second World War!

>>1056243

Agreed! Make movements as if you are taking off VR headsets or unplugging/unhooking things attached to your head, eyes, or neck!!

Sure you do a little bit of "Computer Science", you are something of a "tech genius"

Tell her to stand aside while you run the windows connection troubleshooter

someone is trolling us, or we're being filmed on live tv for a prank show

>>1056240
Have you tried turning it off and on again?

>>1056262
Uh... I think it's a little more serious than that. I... I think those were digital files. Something behind the desk is... it's failing to load.

Maybe point at that and gawk silently until she turns around and notices the absolute reality-break happening behind her.

>>1056283

Oh, good one. Say loudly, "I do not consent to be recorded or for my reactions or behavior to be posted online or otherwise shared."

>>1056252
>>1056432

Here's some more if you are in some kind of vat in virtual reality or are a computer program or are a brain in a jar or something.

"Status. Menu. Options. I want to wake up now. End Scene. End Program. End Simulation. Command: Emergency Exit. Alright guys, ha-ha, you win, let me out now. Administrator Escalation. I revoke any previously granted permission or consent to modify or suppress my memory or perceptions of reality. Command Line: Help. Tilde. Safeword. Banana. Red Light. There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home."

That's probably just a digital image display. Network's down, so it can't display her photo.

>>1056442

She can check if it's a digital image display. Also, shouldn't it have a wire/plug?

1/3 Buckwheat 2023/02/20(Mon)17:40 No. 1056608 ID: 15a025
File 167694363218.png - (19.27KB , 500x500 , 13.png )

>Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Secretary: "Huh, well it's worth a shot."

The computer makes a loud click, and the fans start to shut up. Then another click, and the fans start revving up again.

Secretary: "Nah, still no emails. Any other ideas?"
>Status. Menu. Options. I want to wake up now. End Scene. End Program.
>Make movements as if you are taking off VR headsets or unplugging/unhooking things attached to your head, eyes, or neck!!
Secretary: "You think we have the budget for voice controlled computers? Do those even exist? You're kinda losing me here."

2/3 Buckwheat 2023/02/20(Mon)17:41 No. 1056609 ID: 15a025
File 167694366814.png - (13.45KB , 500x500 , 14.png )

> point at that and gawk silently until she turns around and notices the absolute reality-break happening behind her.
> What happened to the employee of the month picture?
Secretary: "What are you point- oh my stars!"

Secretary: "Someone took my employee of the month photo!"

Secretary: "No...oh no... what if, I'm being replaced! What if I'm not going to be employee of the month next month!"

>Where did the pen basket go? Was supposed to be on the do not file folder.
Secretary: "They're even taking my supplies!"

Secretary: "Wait a second, nobody came into my office though. They couldn't have just vanished, could they?"

>i think those things we shredded were stuff that kept things running
Secretary: "What do you mean by that? You didn't stick some cable or something into the shredder did you?"

3/3 Buckwheat 2023/02/20(Mon)17:41 No. 1056610 ID: 15a025
File 167694368705.png - (15.97KB , 500x500 , 15.png )

There's a knock on the door, and a badger comes in.

Office Badger: "Uh hey. This is kinda embarrassing, but you wouldn't happen to have a pen would you? I'm just about to seal the deal on a massive client contract here, but I can't find anything to write with!"

Secretary: "Oh, that's quite a pickle. Assistant! Could you either help him find a pen, or watch that file and get the computer back up while I go look around?"

Use badger with shredder.

Okay nows our chance. Clearly there is something seriously spooky related to these files. Tell her you'll fix the computer then take the Do Not File file and look at it, we must learn its secrets. They could have the answers we need!

Ah. Recycling bin, missing image after "shredding" files, "space in folders"... we're in a computer.
Don't look at the Do Not file. It's probably a virus. Though I guess it could be some kind of meta thing?

Let's find that pen. Maybe it fell on the floor? Meanwhile ask who the big contract is with.

Opt to watch the file and try to fix the computer. Let her look for the pen. Suggest you saw it over there on the floor so that she has to bend over...yknow so you can't look up her short skirt while she does.

See if there is a printer, and if there is, print a paper with pens written on it. Try at least a brand of pen, color, and quantity just in case it's specific

Staying and watching the file and trying to fix the computer is my choice, that's like, our main job, to watch the file.

but whatever we do, let's tell her to talk with the person who gave her all those files to thread earlier, or find them ourself if we're not going to stay and watch the file.

Buckwheat 2023/03/01(Wed)17:06 No. 1057154 ID: 15a025
File 167771920566.png - (152.33KB , 500x500 , 16.png )

>Opt to watch the file and try to fix the computer.
>Staying and watching the file and trying to fix the computer is my choice, that's like, our main job, to watch the file.

Secretary: "Alright nerd! Time to show off those skills then. I'm entrusting a lot of responsibility on you. And my reputation as employee of the month. Pleeeeaaase don't let me down!"

>tell her to talk with the person who gave her all those files to shred earlier.
Secretary: "Trying to tell me how to do my job now huh? I'd remind you who's employee of the month, but I think you get the point."

She pauses for a moment,
Secretary: "Oh alright, I guess I'll say something if I run into them."

You hop on the computer chair and slowly start to realize. You don't really recognize this operating system. Or who this uh... "Flint" is.

>>1057154
Check recycle bin and New Folder. Try and find an antivirus, that New Application is sus as hell.
Don't open the do not open.

>>1057154

Determine on a SAFE file what brings up a menu for detailed properties when you click on something. Command Click, Right Click, Alt click, whatever. Determine what information you can get from those menus, maybe a properties or a details option. Then do that with the do not open bit. Is it a web link? A folder? A link to an executable file of some sort? Is there an option to browse the directory where it goes?

Alright NOW we should go on the internet and see what nsfw sites she's been on.

For starters, reproduce the error: Double-click inbox and see what goes wrong.

Forget the repair job. Play some solitaire

>>1057228
Indeed!

>>1057156
this then
>>1057217
this

1/2 Buckwheat 2023/03/06(Mon)18:11 No. 1057700 ID: 15a025
File 167815506347.png - (118.82KB , 500x500 , 17.png )

>Determine on a SAFE file what brings up a menu for detailed properties when you click on something.
>Then do that with the do not open bit

You manage to find out how to bring up file properties, and attempt to inspect the do not open folder.
You can see two things about it
FILES IN FOLDER: 0
FILE SIZE ON DISK: 32 KB.

Something about that doesn't sound right.

2/2 Buckwheat 2023/03/06(Mon)18:11 No. 1057702 ID: 15a025
File 167815509292.png - (127.25KB , 500x500 , 18.png )

>Check recycle bin
You open up the recycle bin. It just has documents titled "schedule for" followed by a date. Nothing too interesting.
Next you open up the new folder. Inside are a bunch of folders titled new folder1,2,3,4, and so on. I guess she doesn't know how to rename folders? Or maybe it's a way to confuse possible snoops?

>For starters, reproduce the error: Double-click inbox and see what goes wrong.
You double click the inbox and an error pops up.
The application you are trying to open is either unavailable at this time or cannot be found. Please contact your administrator for more information.

Another message pop ups on screen:
"Do not reply, as a reminder. Instant messages like this cost us per message sent and is used only for emergency notices such as this. Phone lines are currently down and something is wrong with our emails. Be on the lookout for any suspicious activity or individual. We believe someone is stealing all of our office supplies. Please knock on the supply closet and let our IT department know if you find anything. That is all."

Open mozzarilla and check browsing history.
Check file properties on that New Application. When was it created?

>>1057700

Yea, some settings somewhere allows for hidden files. Try opening New Folder and see if you can edit the folder view settings, and navigate to view the desktop with the program used to view folders, enabling showing the file extension options and showing all hidden filetypes and all those power user type settings that give more information or options or show advanced menus or whatever. That will help inform whether you can do something with the 'do not open'. I suppose it would depend on what kind of extra detail you can figure out!

how is the file that isn't supposed to be filed doing on our desk?

>>1057707
This, but also. I feel like opening the Do Not File is critical. Afterall its "do not file" not "do not open". Crack it open!

Oh well. Play some solitaire.

>>1057809

We were told at the start not to open it though

If this is some kind of computer simulation, we definitely should not open the file. It might be a zip bomb or a virus.

>>1057909

And that was before everything started getting super wonky. Also, no one reasonable would expect someone not to peek given those instructions. This entire business and experience is completely out of control!

1/3 Buckwheat 2023/03/14(Tue)19:10 No. 1058582 ID: 15a025
File 167884625653.png - (13.81KB , 500x500 , 19.png )

>how is the file that isn't supposed to be filed doing on our desk?
Still there, thankfully. You can see why the secretary needed an assistant for this, the computer can sure be distracting.

2/3 Buckwheat 2023/03/14(Tue)19:11 No. 1058584 ID: 15a025
File 167884627512.png - (118.76KB , 500x500 , 20.png )

>Check file properties on that New Application. When was it created?
You try to check the creation date for it, but seems like it's just blank? Hopefully nothing's wrong with the computer.

3/3 Buckwheat 2023/03/14(Tue)19:11 No. 1058585 ID: 15a025
File 167884630563.png - (121.48KB , 500x500 , 21.png )

>see if you can edit the folder view settings, and navigate to view the desktop with the program used to view folders, enabling showing the file extension options and showing all hidden filetypes and all those power user type settings
Odd. You don't have permission to see file extensions, but it lets you enable hidden files.
Out of curiosity, you check the DO NOT OPEN folder.

It's changed?

Oh neat Minesweeper is on the desktop. Why is it hidden though? Try running it.

Also, now that you can examine folders for their contents, snoop in New Folder, using Properties to see which of the subfolders contain files.

Play minesweeper

Open New Folder and use that to manually type in the path to do not open so you can browse to where you can see the hidden file in the do not open folder without going there normally.

1/3 Buckwheat 2023/03/16(Thu)16:35 No. 1058733 ID: 15a025
File 167900973106.png - (110.48KB , 500x500 , 22.png )

>Oh neat Minesweeper is on the desktop. Why is it hidden though? Try running it.
>Play minesweeper
Odd that is was hidden, but you suppose a short break here couldn't hurt. You double click the icon and the game board pops up.

2/3 Buckwheat 2023/03/16(Thu)16:35 No. 1058734 ID: 15a025
File 167900974760.png - (111.93KB , 500x500 , 23.png )

You aren't very good at it though, and shortly click a mine-

3/3 Buckwheat 2023/03/16(Thu)16:36 No. 1058736 ID: 15a025
File 167900978549.png - (19.75KB , 500x500 , 24.png )

*BOOM*

You hear a few screams of panic as the secretary's door spontaneously explodes. Thankfully, it doesn't seem like anyone but the door was hurt.

>>1058673
Oooh this is a good idea.

>>1058736
Also holy shit move quickly! Whatever is on the computer is influencing reality! Start downloading pictures of money and printing them! This is of the utmost urgency! If the net is down use MSPAINT!

NOW do you believe you're in a simulation?? Or possibly the afterlife?? Or some mad scientist's artificially set up world??

>>1058737
Oh, in addition, try adding a bunch of files to do not open and see if the do not file gets bulkier!

More precisely, consider that you may be literally in Hell. In other words, either a supernatural demon is messing with your local reality in malicious manner, or it is actually hundreds of years into The Future, and an evil AI has copied your brain onto a smaller computer somewhere, and is running you and your coworkers in a simulated Hell and making you think that the present is actually the present. Now realize that there is, to your viewpoint, NO OBSERVABLE DIFFERENCE between the two scenarios from the inside.

What happens when you win Solitaire, then? Try that next.

We can number crunch so much shit if we only knew how to apply the computer's base programs to unanswered fundamental problems like [P:NP]

Start off by attempting to code a basic .js script and use a browser to play it. Use the command browser to find 'spells' and throw them into the code.

Maybe you should not being bad at minesweeper dude.

>>1058754
this... isn't actually a bad idea
see if you can use javascript to summon your hunky original the character to real life

Ya this is like that sci fi/fantasy book where the protagonist realized he was a computer program in a simulated world, and then figured out how to get access to some of the code of his simulation, and used his coding skills to cast spells on his reality.

See if you can do that without getting yourself or others horribly killed!

1/2 Buckwheat 2023/03/23(Thu)16:46 No. 1059372 ID: 15a025
File 167961516529.png - (129.92KB , 500x500 , 25.png )

>NOW do you believe you're in a simulation?? Or possibly the afterlife?? Or some mad scientist's artificially set up world??
Okay, there might be some kind of magic or crazy sci-fi thing going in the office. Door's don't just suddenly blow up after all.

>Whatever is on the computer is influencing reality! Start downloading pictures of money and printing them!
Well, it's a worth a shot. Hopefully this won't cause any economic problems or collapse. You try to print out some pictures of money, however an error pops up.
ERROR: This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. A note will be added to your file about this.
So much for free money...

2/2 Buckwheat 2023/03/23(Thu)16:46 No. 1059373 ID: 15a025
File 167961519549.png - (168.49KB , 500x500 , 26.png )

>see if you can use javascript to summon your hunky original the character to real life
Unfortunately, you have no idea how to code or program. That's beyond your pay grade.

>print a paper with pens written on it. Try at least a brand of pen, color, and quantity just in case it's specific
Well, if you can't print out money. Maybe you can print office supplies? You try typing up a document with all kinds of ways to describe pens. You print it out, but nothing happens. Then you try printing out pictures of pens, but alas. Still nothing.
You try to think. Maybe there's something else you have to do with these files for the office magic to work?

I don't think printing will do anything. I think it has to be a file on the computer. Try saving a photo of some office supplies to the computer!

You wouldn't download a car!

>>1059376 This!
Its so obvious! Download A CAR!

Ya, save it to the desktop, then close and then run the file by double clicking it from the desktop. Try various sorts of files types, text, images, and the like. Also, the office equipment around you was influencing reality, maybe you can do something with that??

Maybe you gotta do the opposite of shredding files? Double check the room just to make sure printing didn't do anything

Ya, can you restore things, get them out of trash or recycle bins, stop destroying things, put things back in their place, both digitally and in 'reality'?

1/3 Buckwheat 2023/03/29(Wed)18:30 No. 1059858 ID: 15a025
File 168013983345.png - (131.04KB , 500x500 , 27.png )

>You wouldn't download a car!
>It's so obvious! Download A CAR!
You wouldn't download a car, the company's internet speed is only 64 kb/s. You'll be clocked out for the night before it even gets half way there.

>Try saving a photo of some office supplies to the computer!
>Try various sorts of files types, text, images, and the like.
You save your little collage of office supplies as a jpig onto the desktop. Then you also make a notepad file as well. Still no luck.

>try adding a bunch of files to do not open and see if the do not file gets bulkier!
You try putting your office supply files into the Do Not Open folder, and get met with an error:
(X) : File is read only for this user.

2/3 Buckwheat 2023/03/29(Wed)18:30 No. 1059859 ID: 15a025
File 168013984756.png - (39.48KB , 500x500 , 28.png )

>Ya, can you restore things, get them out of trash or recycle bins, stop destroying things, put things back in their place, both digitally and in 'reality'?
You don't think you can hit the undo button and un-shred a folder. Maybe the files have to be on both the computer and in the office? You grab an empty folder and put the office supply papers in it.

3/3 Buckwheat 2023/03/29(Wed)18:31 No. 1059860 ID: 15a025
File 168013986143.png - (19.29KB , 500x500 , 29.png )

Neat!

Create a folder titled "Fluffy Mascot" and stuff it with a combination of curated lewds, standard textbooks, and some random stuff.

So... you can now print out pictures of arbitrary things, label a folder appropriately, place the picture in the folder, and then HAVE THE THING IN FRONT OF YOU.

You... have the ability to summon... literally anything!

See if it's limited to things that 'should' be at an office, or if it's other, arbitrary things too! Can you get sci fi and fantasy things? Will they work?!?!

BREAK THE ECONOMY GET A BUNCH OF SUPER TECH, TOOLS, JEWELS, MAGICAL ITEMS, THE MOST AMAZING CLOTHES, IMPOSSIBLE THINGS, MAGICAL COMPANIONS, LET YOUR INNER 12 YEAR OLD FREEEE YOU CAN HAVE AAANNYYYTHIIINGGG!!!!

To start with, try things like:

-Money/Gems/Platinum Bars
-Extreme high end office chair
-Survival Kit/Bug Out Bag
-Peak Physical and Mental Prowess Fast-Acting Super-Serum
-Sci Fi energy blaster with a stun setting
-Immortality Potion
-Magical Skill-Granting Book (start with something innocuous, like for gardening, and if that works, start ramping it up to every skill you ever wanted)

>>1059863

Something to enable you to fly with complete control! A ring of flying, perhaps! And a ring of invisibility! But not the over the top evil types, just the basic ones.

Don't get too crazy with materializing things into your office immediately. Start with something simple, like porn.

>>1059868

What happens if that materializes, you know, the character of a porn star? Not the actor, the actual over the top character they're playing as?

Make a new door before everyone finds out you sucked at mainsweeper

>>1059903

Would that make an appropriately installed door, or just summon the materials? Or would you need some sort of sci fi repair beam or magical repair device?