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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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File 159181508078.png - (440.85KB , 700x700 , 7C62490A-BBC6-4DB6-8766-A4FDADC49656.png )
969389 No. 969389 ID: a307f1

You are a gay little animal, and it’s your day off from work today.

Every day, a thousand hours a day, one million days a week, you work as a cashier at The Store in exchange for Dollars. But not today!
Expand all images
>>
No. 969390 ID: a307f1
File 159181510957.png - (395.65KB , 700x700 , CADFCA07-71CA-460A-949E-3BC472E7B379.png )
969390

It’s 9:00 am. You’ve slept a luxurious 8 hours and are ready to fuckin rip.

What’s your name, and what are you going to do today? Better not waste it, it’s your only day off.

[Stress Level: Lower Than Usual]
>>
No. 969393 ID: 6e6f32

Halfheartedly seek better employment, only to get distracted and start hunting for a hot piece of ass.
Like every other day off.
>>
No. 969394 ID: 2aa5f0

Name: Fade

What do?: Check phone and see if anyone has messaged you.
>>
No. 969398 ID: 015bf2

>>969390
Freshen up, break your fast, then take fifteen to thirty minutes to clean your room, just so you've done something for yourself that you can feel better about. Heck, no rush. Do it while you distractedly checking your phone.

You go by Dee Scotch, though it's actually short for Laydidee Hopscotch. Your usual online handle is DScotchShy1.

You're hoping to find some friendly companionship for today. No need to spend your day off lonely, right? Doesn't have to be much. Just getting in touch with a friend, old or new, and doing something nice together.
>>
No. 969400 ID: e7c7d3

At least take some of your floor trash to the garbage bin. Small steps.

Otherwise contact a friend and see if they're up to grabbing some overly sugary foods
>>
No. 969401 ID: 3ed3c3

>>969390
Your name is Rosebud Sugarcane, and you are going to spend at least a good hour or two aggressively shitposting on your favorite site.
>>
No. 969434 ID: 86794b

>>969398
This is nice
>>
No. 969438 ID: e51896

clean your room. it's the only time you will get to do that until your next day off. luckily there isnt a lot of stuff on the floor so it wont take long
>>
No. 969443 ID: 094652

Spikypuss Snugglesandwich, and you're going to sleep EVERYWHERE.
>>
No. 969444 ID: b5fb67

Get a drink, get a sandwich, and play Animal Crossing!
>>
No. 969501 ID: a307f1
File 159190473525.png - (335.22KB , 600x600 , 67E86D4B-8C70-49B8-9038-B10FB46BDF71.png )
969501

Laydidee Hopscotch, that’s you. Your name tag at work just says “Dee Scotch.” Every customer buying alcohol makes the same joke about it. Every single time.

You unlock your phone to check everything for the day, maybe make some shitposts. You open the website and it lands you on the news tab.

[You gain an Arbitrary Numerical Quantification of Stress]
>>
No. 969502 ID: a307f1
File 159190478365.png - (413.74KB , 600x600 , 51522FB7-F8EA-4EAD-BE3D-A32210AC724F.png )
969502

Cleaning… on your day off…. god why

You gobble up the uneaten saltwater taffy from your floor and use the baggie to pick up your trash while you scroll. There are a few animals you kinda know who are posting right now. You could message one to hangout, theoretically...

Splotch looks like he just finished his morning stuff. He’ll probably just be sitting around posting for the next few hours. You’ve never met him irl but he lives around here somewhere. You followed him for his gaming streams while you were really into this one game. You’ve never had time to play the game yourself, so you just live vicariously through him.

Elberta Jubilee is an old classmate of yours. You used to play together sometimes in like first grade but then grew apart, and now you weirdly can’t not refer to her with her full name. She’s always talking about sponsored products. You think it’s really impressive that she gets sponsorships, but her pics are always kinda… unfortunate. You mostly still follow her out of a weird sense of responsibility for reporting all her trolls. She usually hangs out at cafes nearby.

Rowdy just got done arguing online again, looks like. She likes to do that. You’ve seen her and her boyfriend around town plenty of times, usually near chain link fences and rusty “keep out” signs. You thirst followed her a while back and now you’re kinda scared what she’d do if you unfollowed...

Biscuit has been your best friend for a while! You both like saltwater taffy. Looks like they’re sadposting. They make a lot of posts like that.

Oh god. Also your neighbor Ness texted you. They probably want another favor.
>>
No. 969504 ID: 2aa5f0

what's the image Ness sent you? Decide if it's something you want to deal with or not based off that.
>>
No. 969510 ID: e7c7d3

Honestly, seeing if Splotch would like to meet up seems like the least amount of drama. But if you're looking for some action, I say try to hunt down Elberta. Reignite that friendship and hey, maybe you can score some free stuff.

Unless you honestly think you have a chance with Rowdy, unfollow them
>>
No. 969515 ID: 6e6f32

Bisquit sad again?
You should go over there and help her ignore the problem completely as you both find a distraction.
Or weed.
Or both.
>>
No. 969518 ID: 015bf2

>News tab
Aaaand uninstall'd/turned off. You'll catch up with news at your leisure, not your phone's.

>Cleanup, why
Cuz' you get the dopamine hit of having Done A Thing That Needed Doing at the low low cost of bending over a few times - basically a morning stretch!

>Likes saltwater taffies
Saltwater taffies are pretty great. What else do you eat, though? Like, if you wanna go out lunching with someone might as well treat yourself. Think of a good place to have an early lunch with someone.

>Friend, who
Let's consider. If you want a no-drama, low-stress day of light fun, this is not the day to band-aid or solve other people's issues (unless that's really rewarding to you!) or your issues with them (let sleeping Rowdies lie) or spend your precious time doing big favors (Neeeesss).

With that in mind, you can hang out with cool dude Splotch (unless he needs sleep, might need it if he stayed up all night streaming, if so make plans to catch him in the evening instead), catch up with Elberta (reminiscing, making sure you still 'got it' in terms of a friendly relationship), or go bring Biscuit out of their funk if you think you can do it weedless, or get them some of that pity weed. But maybe not toke up yourself as that's gonna make your free day vanish in a haze - do it in the evening, if at all!

'nyway, yeah, I'd say talk to people in that order of priority; Splotch, Elberta, Biscuit - with Splotch getting bumped to the back of the queue if he's tired.

>Dealing with Ness
"Slept in, day off, got plans. U?"

Check her picture, but send the above message. That'll soft lock her from making any big requests unless she's socially oblivious or actively rude. Even if your plans are a vague 'spend time with someone' they're still plans!
>>
No. 969535 ID: 422cea

Acquire genitals and then pants to hide said genitals.
>>
No. 969585 ID: a307f1

rolled 3 = 3

Genital Acquisition

1 or 2 = Penis
3 or 4 = Vagina
>>
No. 969586 ID: a307f1
File 159198695286.png - (181.16KB , 468x468 , 005 - va.png )
969586

>Acquire Genitals

Wow! You acquired some Genitals!

You snap a picture with your phone to get a better look.

Yup, definitely some Genitals.

Your brand new Genitals have no bearing on your status as a gay little animal. Regardless of who you may or may not choose to woo, you will remain a gay little animal.
>>
No. 969587 ID: a307f1
File 159198697411.png - (199.68KB , 468x468 , 06 - surrounded by stressy.png )
969587

>Check the pic from Ness

Yep… they’re shedding again and want you to help peel them. [+1 Stress]

You text back: slept in, day off, got plans. u?

>Unfollow Rowdy

You hesitantly navigate to her page and press the big red unfollow button… [+5 Stress]

At least you won’t have to try to keep up with who she is and isn’t fighting with anymore… [-3 Stress!]

>Uninstall website’s app

NO! You can’t! How would you know what’s going on? How would you know what animals are saying?? What would you do on the toilet at work??? [+10 stress just from the thought!]

>Invite someone to eat something with you besides salt water taffy

Maybe… but with luck you could find a place that also serves taffy!
In terms of who to go with…. Splotch probably would be the least Stressful person to see today. You slide into their DMs.

DScotchShy1: hi splotch!! what’s up!

spl0tch69: omg scotchy hiiiiiiii were u in my stream

DScotchShy1: no I just woke up :’( was it good :o

spl0tch69: hehhehe yea I only went like 2 hours and made like $300

Damn you wish that was you.

DScotchShy1: ooooo
DScotchShy1: well…. do u wanna hang out? go get smth to eat maybe? if ur not tired

spl0tch69: lmao no just come to my place!! I’ll order us something
spl0tch69: with the $300
>>
No. 969588 ID: a307f1
File 159198701521.png - (159.87KB , 468x468 , 07 - yea the files have names this upd8.png )
969588

Your room is clean now. +1,000 Self Care! You never have to do anything again.

>Acquire pants to cover Genitals

You don’t have any pants, just scarves and other neckwear. You put your scarf on and arrange it so it covers your acquisition. +1 Modesty!

Before you head to Splotch’s, is there anything you want to bring? And if Ness is out there... are you going to say hi or try to sneak past?
>>
No. 969589 ID: b1b4f3

>>969587
Did you consider Ness may be flirting with you? Shedding is a bit intimate, isn't it...

If Ness is there tell her you're going out to eat with a friend and you can help her later today if she needs it.
>>
No. 969590 ID: 094652

Acquire Skill Tree

Choose S.E.X.U.A.L.-Based Class
>>
No. 969591 ID: e7c7d3

Say hi to Ness. If she's still peeling off skin and wants your help, just say that you already have lunch plans. (it'll be respectful to her culture, I assure you.)

But yes, opinions on this please.
>>969589
>>
No. 969593 ID: d186fc

>>969588
Thats... pretty kinky tbh, ngl.

Btw, Elberta seems like someone who would be a bad influence due to their involvement in pyramid schemes. That being said, you are kind of stalking them without seeming like you actually have any romantic feelings for them, so unless you have a very good reason, you should probably unfollow them as well.

--

>>969587
How much money do you have? You could totally stream if you wanted to. It just has some relatively steep startup costs (custom pc: $1500-$2000, mic: $130, headset: $250, webcam: $200, damn good internet: price varies, video editing software: free-$200, so about $2000-$3000).

--

>>969589
If they are flirting, then they are doing it the wrong way, since peeling skin seems kinda gross, especially to those who don't shed skin. It is intimate the same way cleaning someone's ears is. It is the closeness that makes it intimate, not the act itself.

--

>>969586
>still gonna be gay
Almost like gay can mean happy and cheerful in addition to homosexual. /s
>>
No. 969598 ID: 6cd501

>>969588
Bring the collectable trading card game of your choice!
>>
No. 969602 ID: 6e6f32

>>969590
Second.

Also, see if Splotch can order out from Boobsters.
>>
No. 969625 ID: d186fc

>>969602
boobsters?

Also going to vote against the S.E.X.U.A.L. thing, although having a less raunchy acronym could work (excluding special ofc). MC strikes me as less of the pervy type and more of the slightly whimsical, naive (or at least seeming naive) type.

>>969598
I think we should bring GURPS instead, but regardless of what we pick, we should totally bring some sort of geeky tabletop thing.
>>
No. 969627 ID: a307f1
File 159201532194.png - (338.82KB , 600x600 , 008 - gay moment.png )
969627

>Did you consider Ness may be flirting with you? Shedding is a bit intimate, isn't it...

W-wha?? No, it’s just gross. Right?
Well…. It DOES involve you rubbing their whole body… and they do go “oooh” and “oh yeah” a lot… um
>>
No. 969628 ID: a307f1
File 159201533341.png - (438.45KB , 600x600 , 009 - stweamer.png )
969628

>You could stream! It’s only $3,000 to start.

C-could you…. You dunno, you don’t really have the time, what with working at The Store. Plus, you don’t know if you could do it the way Splotch does. (Although, the Genitals might help…)

That’s also a lot of Dollars. Like a whole week’s rent.
>>
No. 969629 ID: a307f1
File 159201534398.png - (262.11KB , 600x600 , 010 - steppy outside.png )
969629

>How many Dollars do you have?

Right now you have $100 on paw to spend on your day off.

>Bring the collectable trading card game of your choice!

You root through your stuff to find your dusty collection of Pocket Guys Cards! Your favorite Pocket Guy is Bobblio, the delightfully clownish blue sea lion. You have at least five Bobblio cards. You stuff the cards into your scarf for safekeeping and head out the door to your apartment.

Wow, it’s cleaner than usual out here.

You can hear music coming from Ness’s apartment, and there’s some stray skin flakes on the ground in front of their door.
>>
No. 969630 ID: a307f1
File 159201535501.png - (304.49KB , 600x600 , 011 - gecgecgec.png )
969630

You knock and they answer. Weed stink hits your nose.

“hii Genessika,” you say.

“heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” they say, licking their eye. “finally. get in here lmao I can’t get the shed out from between my toes.”

“oh. maybe I can help later, but texted you earlier saying I have lunch plans today…. I just wanted to say hi before I leave...”

“lmao what the fuck” they say. “well okay. wait with who”

“Splotch! from the website. the dragon.”

“damn… are you gonna get on camera with him? cause i’d watch that lmaoo.”
>>
No. 969631 ID: cdabe3

"do you wanna go out with me some time this week"
>>
No. 969636 ID: b1b4f3

>>969630
On camera? I dunno if that's what he planned but it wouldn't be too bad.
>>
No. 969638 ID: e7c7d3

>>969627
Huh, they an amputee? Either way, think of all the things they could do with that tongue! For now just tell them to chill in a bath, it'll help.

Also tell them that the camera costs extra. Much better to watch in person.
>>
No. 969639 ID: d6551e

hm awk! probably not, since splotch seems pretty set up in his own brand and niche and whatnot, but. it might be nice to test the waters, if you're comfortable!
>>
No. 969671 ID: a307f1
File 159208038583.png - (358.16KB , 600x600 , 012 - noo not your tail it was so sexy aha.png )
969671

>Ness’s Prosthetic

Yeah they— wait what the fuck where’s their tail.

“lol oh yeah the fridge made a weird noise and my tail popped right off lmao. but hey, it’s just that much less of me you gotta peel later haha!”

Aw. You frown. You…. liked their tail.

“aw don’t cry it’ll grow back,” they chitter. “i mean if you want the old one it’s over there. i had to throw it out it was stinkin up the place lol.” They point to the trash bag against the wall behind you.

>"do you wanna go out with me some time this week"

wh

h

oh god

um

“hey...do you want to, uhhh. would you wanna g—“

“say no more, i’m in. lemme just get m’jorts lol,” Ness says.

what. no
>>
No. 969672 ID: a307f1
File 159208039795.png - (297.39KB , 600x600 , 013 - stinky hallway babes.png )
969672

okay. well. Are you ready to go, or is there anything else? It’s like 10am now.
>>
No. 969673 ID: a307f1

*notices I swapped the leg the prosthetic was on and simply walks away from this fact*
>>
No. 969674 ID: e7c7d3

Dang tails are the best lizard part... but only when attached!Also, jorts? This person is a monster!

Go to the nearby leather boutique and window shop some some sexy, if uncomfortable, pants

>>969673
[spoiler]Did you mean to word it that way? :P [/spoiler}
>>
No. 969680 ID: d186fc

>>969628
>expensive
Think about it this way, if you make $300 per stream, you would have it covered. Plus, if you go your friend's route, you may make even more given the seemingly disproportionate number of desperate, horny men willing to throw money at anything female.

--

>>969674
I would agree that they are pretty gross. At first I thought the cultural differences may just seem gross to a non-lizard, but noo, this person is just gross and that has nothing to do with their species. Leather anything would be wasted on them as they are now (not to mention expensive).

--

You know, regardless of streaming or what we do today, we really need to rethink our life. It is becoming clear to me that our room is a glass castle protecting us from the crusty apartment with crusty people, our shitty low paying job, and a lack of any real genuine friends. I mean the closest people to real friends are a slob next door that takes advantage of us, and a somewhat high-profile streamer we have never met in real life. Now this get together today could go great, but I can definitely see how this could go downhill very steeply very fast. What if Splotch doesn't see us as a real friend, but just a clingy fan that they are nice to? What if we are no different than dozens if not hundreds of others who talk to him? Could our neighbor be excited to go, not because of us, but because she wants to meet said streamer?

Idk, maybe i am paranoid, but don't get your hopes up, Scotch (and maybe prep for some possible platonic heartbreak).
>>
No. 969683 ID: b1b4f3

>>969672
Uh idk you're probably set.
>>
No. 969685 ID: 15a025

I'd say you seem ready to go. Let's meet up with Splotch!
>>
No. 969691 ID: ffd062

do you and Ness usually trade favors? peeling someone all over must take a lot of time!! maybe you can cash in on one in advance... maybe score some of Ness' dank weed they"ve been enjoying for little ol' Biscuit?
>>
No. 969718 ID: a307f1
File 159217798703.png - (362.36KB , 600x600 , 014 - too many stressy head full.png )
969718

You take the stairs up to the street. Ness van der Waals up the side of the wall and makes it up just a second before you do.

>Streaming could really pay off. Maybe Splotch will let you dabble with his setup.

Do you really think so…. maybe that could be fun, if Splotch agreed. But Ness is coming with so… maybe he wouldn’t.

>Ness is gross.

Haha, yeah.

>Think about your life.

Uhh

>You live in a shitty place.

Well, it’s not so bad. Your apartment has two windows! And Ness usually lets you borrow their pass to the building’s bathroom if they’re home! You only have to pay the fee like half the time. [+5 Stress]

>You have a shitty job.

Sure, but doesn’t everyone? Plus your older cousin is the Front-End Manager, so… actually that affects nothing she’s just as unbearable to you as everyone else. [+10 Stress]

>Splotch probably just sees you as any other clingy fan trying to get closer to him.

Oh god… and it doesn’t help that you’re showing up with a plus one, does it? [+15 Stress]
>>
No. 969719 ID: a307f1
File 159217801763.png - (344.15KB , 600x600 , 015 - uuuuuwuuuuuuuuuuu.png )
969719

>You don’t even have any real friends.

UuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUuuuuuu………

Wait, that’s not true at all! Biscuit is your closest friend!

“u okay? looks like ur havin a crisis down there lol” Ness says.

You sniff. “Ness, instead of letting me borrow your bathroom pass for helping you, c-could I have some of your weed for my friend Biscuit?”

“lmao sure i’ll smoke u guys out, if you buy the snacks lol. shits expensive. don’t worry about the pass lol you know I just use substrate anyway.”

Ness is so kind…. you’re tearing up… wait did they just invite themself along again.

“btw sorry but I can see your junk lol do you wanna go like pants shopping or somethin” they say. “no hate-o no creep-o it’s just like. Out. wait where’d u even get that.”

The Store is a block away, you could stop in on the way to Splotch’s, although the thought revolts you on your day off. You could just get snacks later if you really wanted.
>>
No. 969720 ID: 949f9f

if you convert your scarf into a mawashi, then no one can see the front or back of your new aquisition!! you might be mistaken for a sumo wrestler though...
Ness uh, seems pretty lonely if they keep inviting themself along? are they... too gross for other people to hang out with? how did yall start exchanging favors anyway?
>>
No. 969721 ID: b1b4f3

Banish genitals to the shadow realm for today so you don't have to buy pants. Tell Ness it just showed up with a poof, is that not how people normally get them?

Also tell Ness that you just realized that this is your first time meeting Splotch and you don't know if he'd want you to bring someone along.
Maybe send him a message about it.
>>
No. 969722 ID: b1b4f3

Wait, someone you've known for a while but never hanged out with in person invited you to get some food, and wants to spend 300 dollars doing it?

THAT sounds like a date for sure.
>>
No. 969729 ID: e7c7d3

You don't know where the genitals came from, and you haven't gotten to try them out yet.

Though that does raise the question of why you needed to use the bathroom before....

Still avoid The Store. Someone else can grab the snacks
>>
No. 969732 ID: 422cea

"It's my new birthday suit."
>>
No. 969752 ID: d186fc

>>969719
>Biscuit
I actually forgot about Biscuit. From the little that we have seen, she seems genuine. If so, she is probably the best person we could go see right now. She would be the most receptive to our issues since she actually cares about us. Additionally, if she is fighting her own demons, we should totally helper with that as best as we can, since that is what friends do.
Bottom line is we should weed out all of the "friends" and strengthen our actual friendships.
We are only sunk if we have no real friends.

--

>>969720
>lonely
Idk, I can see where you are coming from, but unless they throw us a bone in that regard, we really shouldn't assume such a thing, since it would be incredibly mean and rude. (though if they do open up to us about such a thing, we should probably try to help them clean themselves up, figuratively speaking. no peeling) That being said, there is a good chance they are just a mean, somewhat Machiavellian person. I mean, it sounds like they just sort of forced us into the favor situation because we were too meek to say no. Especially since we are doing favors to get the chance to pay for the privilege to use the complex's bathroom, which is incredibly messed up. Assuming we are a tenant in the apartment complex and not a squatter, what happened to our own pass? What is keeping us from sending a request to the landlord for a new pass?

>>969722
Honestly, to me it just sounds like they have disposable income and are trying to impress us so we would be more open to manipulation. People that are somewhat famous will often do that sort of thing, unfortunately.
>>
No. 969796 ID: bfddb9

>>969752
All this stress is bad for the Laydidee.
>>
No. 969818 ID: d186fc

>>969796
I don't doubt that, but at the same time, if we just sit in our problems and don't address them, they just get worse. Honestly, our cleaning of the room earlier was a great analogy.
To me, it just seems more depressing to see someone in a bad situation just roll over and make the best of it when they could work to improve it.
>>
No. 969870 ID: a307f1
File 159234582259.png - (500.13KB , 600x600 , 016 - poof___.png )
969870

You consider your new Genitals. “Uh, they just appeared with a poof this morning. Is that not how everyone else gets them?”

“guess i couldn’t tell ya when and where i got mine, lol” Ness says.

>How did you use the bathroom before having them?

Um, the normal way?

>What happened to your bathroom pass?

It’s a monthly subscription to have the bathroom pass. You opted not to renew it after the first few months living here because Ness was so generous offering theirs. You’re not actually sure why Ness has one considering they rarely use it, if ever.

You don’t really want to go to The Store right now. You briefly consider using your scarf to form a sumo wrestler’s mawashi when— POOF!

Your Genitals are gone again!

Ness stares at you. “what.”

Aw. You never even got to do anything with them. Maybe you can make them come back again another time?
>>
No. 969871 ID: a307f1
File 159234584393.png - (304.67KB , 600x600 , 017 - sad___.png )
969871

>Maybe Ness shouldn’t come to Splotch’s with you, actually.

M-maybe not… you never mentioned it to Splotch, and it would be a little rude to show up with someone else who wasn’t invited. You think of what to say. [+10 Stress]

“Um, Ness? Now that I think about it…. maybe you shouldn’t actually come with me right now.”

Ness stands there for a moment, then says, “Oh?”

They seem unthrilled.

“N-NOT BECAUSE I don’t want to hang out or anything, it’s just—“ you scramble for an excuse. Ness looks away. “It’s just that, uh, I think… I think maybe it’s a, uh, ahaha, a Date?? Haha”
>>
No. 969872 ID: a307f1
File 159234587657.png - (378.54KB , 600x600 , 018 - squeak-ee___.png )
969872

Ness turns back toward you, their expression totally reversed. “oooooooh, laydidee, you tail-chaser!”

Now they seem... delighted?

“why didn’t u just say so, ya little stud! it’s about time lmaooooo i was getting worried about u” They nudge you hard in the ribs.

“Haha… well,” you say.

“alright look I’ll walk ya there since ya seem nervous. then we can meet up later before we go see your other friend. oh!” They squat down and dig through their bag. When they find what they were looking for in the deepest darkest corner, they hold it out for you to take.

It’s… a condom. You hastily grab it and stuff it in your scarf.
>>
No. 969873 ID: a307f1
File 159234589467.png - (317.94KB , 600x600 , 019 - Approaching___.png )
969873

The both of you keep walking. You take out your phone to text Biscuit along the way. You send a message that says “Hey Bisky! I saw your post earlier. I’m busy this morning but what if Genessika and I come by later with weed? :0 (sorry they’re the one who has the stuff lol)”

They respond a few minutes later as you approach Splotch’s apartment building. “sure!!! ^_^ any friend of urs is a friend of mine!!!! see you later! :3 <3”

Well… you’re here. Your first time meeting Splotch. What should you say to him? Should you try to act cool or something? You’re nervous suddenly!

[Stress Level: Troubled]
>>
No. 969878 ID: 3ed3c3

>>969872
>squeak-ee
Why do people keep doing that? That's your ribs pressing into your lungs.
>>969873
Take a few seconds to do some stress management. Reaffirm yourself. You're a cute, little critter with some cool buddies to hang out with and a rad scarf. There's hope for your romantic prospects, and even Ness knows that if the condom was any indication. Today is going to be a good day.
>>
No. 969881 ID: d186fc

>>969873
Idk, follow your heart.

Things to keep in mind:
1. This is probably not a date, since that was a conclusion you reached.
2. They may not be as genuinely interested in you as you are of them.
3. They may end up actually being a bad person.
3a. They may end up not actually seeming bad, but will try to manipulate you or even drug you.
4. Just keep your head on, be careful, and think critically. You may end up being pleasantly surprised.

5. Ditch the damn condom, that is not a first date activity unless you are trying to have a one night stand.
>>
No. 969882 ID: b1b4f3

Alright take a bit of time to calm down. Relax, Splotch invited you, which means he's really your friend. You're gonna have a fun time, you look nice, and you're prepared in case things *really* go well.
I dunno if trying to act "cool" is a good idea, but you can try to be confident? Go with some generally-acceptable social moves like saying it's nice to meet him in person.
>>
No. 969883 ID: b1b4f3

>>969881
What the heck, don't be such a downer!
>>
No. 969887 ID: 34fade

Splotch is your pal, just act natural!! just talk to him like how you usually do. i bet Splotch is really excited to see you
also we should check out the dumpster after we leave (but not before). people who live in nice places throw out some niiiice stuff sometimes that needs the smallest of touch ups.
>>
No. 970012 ID: 8fab7a

>>969882
This!

>>969887
No dumpster diving! 's rude (going through private stuff) and currently unnecessary (Dee's not that needy!).
>>
No. 970029 ID: d186fc

>>969883
I don't want to be a downer. It just seems like there are red flags. Maybe I am being a bit too pessimistic, though.
>>
No. 970705 ID: a307f1
File 159314190082.png - (354.76KB , 600x600 , 020 - knock knock bitch.png )
970705

Bad thoughts swirl in your gay little head, but you take a moment to calm down and reaffirm yourself. You’re cute, you’re little, you have good friends and a rad scarf. Splotch invited you here and seemed excited about it! Worse case scenario, if things go bad, you can just go dumpster diving. You knock on Splotch’s door.
>>
No. 970706 ID: a307f1
File 159314191567.png - (242.54KB , 600x600 , 021 - splotch.png )
970706

After a moment, Splotch opens up and greets you.

“Scotchy!!!!!” he trills. “You’re SO SHORT. I mean we’re almost the same height but look at you!! Omg.”

He looks different in real life! Well, no, he looks exactly the same, but more… normal? Down to earth? He looks more like how he posts than how he streams.

"Hi Splotch! It's nice to see you! Sorry I took a while getting here," you say.

“That's okay, I'm just glad to see you! Come inside, I’m hungry!” he says.
>>
No. 970707 ID: a307f1
File 159314193632.png - (369.48KB , 600x600 , 022 - gamer living space.png )
970707

You follow him inside and he sits down in his Gamer Chair, carefully sliding his tail through the back like any regular animal.

You get a good view of his room from the opposite angle than the camera usually faces. He has posters on the wall like you do, only they look more tailored to his interests. Like he bought them, instead of got them from work in place of a raise. There are some costumes hanging on the wall beside his bed that are out of frame most of the time.

His shelves are full of figures from games and anime. You recognize his main from the game he plays most, and most of the Pocket Guys (including Bobblio! Your favorite!), but whoever most of the anime girls are is lost on you.

Behind him is his Gamer Setup. A lot of it is glowing, flowing lazily through the colors of the rainbow. He has one really nice monitor, and one that seems old and busted. It looks like he was scrolling the Website on both?

He digs in his desk drawer and hands you some delivery menus. “Sorry. I haven’t eaten, I’m dying!” he says. “Oh, make yourself at home! Sit down!”

“Thanks,” you say, and sit down in his bed. It’s very soft.

He glances sideways at the Website, and then asks, “So! What do you wanna do today?” and smiles at you.

[It’s 10:53 am and on your person you have your scarf, your phone, a deck of Pocket Guys cards, and one condom. Your Stress levels are Manageable]
>>
No. 970708 ID: 12cd30

whats on those menus 👀 👀 👀
also ask Splotch about his fave Pocket Guys
>>
No. 970709 ID: b1b4f3

>>970707
This room is excellent.
Watch a movie! Maybe play a bit of some co-op video game if he's not too tired of doing that for a living.
>>
No. 970712 ID: e7c7d3

Anything you can order a la carte? Get to try some stuff you usually don't and get some info on what Splotch's tastes are like.
>>
No. 970713 ID: d186fc

>>970709
Doubt that is an option unless they have a console. You could try a board game though. I'd say go for that or a movie.
>>
No. 970716 ID: cdabe3

>>970709
do this

also! compliment the maid outfit, it looks very well-tailored
>>
No. 970806 ID: b13dfe

Light compliments and shared interests are a great way to get things going while you peruse the menus. I second both complimenting his fashion choices and talking about Pocket Guys.
>>
No. 970818 ID: a0dfd2

>>970707

Love that tidiness with the power strip, though it looks like Splotch might be a little RGB-happy.
>>
No. 970847 ID: d186fc

>>970818
Lol nah, that is just the gamer aesthetic.
>>
No. 971876 ID: 4efca3

You can talk about how much you like Dorian Electra! Maybe by suggesting a little background music.
>>
No. 971974 ID: 15a025

Talk about Pocket Guys and show him your deck.
>>
No. 972563 ID: dd404d

Ask him where he got those stockings.
>>
No. 972564 ID: 08e322

>>970707
complement them on their BIG GAY ENERGY room.
>>
No. 973184 ID: cdb7be

Oh my god this quest is amazing, also has a real Tuca and Bertie vibe xD

I guess if they're offering to pay you could take the opportunity to get something you don't usually have the money to go for (like sushi or something, of course without taking the piss), if such options are available
>>
No. 973186 ID: 08b8d8

Talk about Bobblio! Also maybe ask what the anime figs are?

Let's also have a look at that menu. Are you a meat-eater, or do you prefer veges?
>>
No. 980276 ID: ce1a37
File 160435809184.png - (297.98KB , 600x600 , 023 - GLADO returns.png )
980276

You flip through the delivery menus while you admire Splotch’s room. Your eyes catch on his costumes. They aren’t shitty cheap halloween costumes made of that shiny, bad smelling material. They look like proper cotton, and well tailored. You reach out a paw to touch the apron of the maid dress. “Your clothes are soo cute and nice!” you say.

Splotch beams. “Thank you! I take really good care of all my cosplay stuff. I have a lot more in plastic under the bed. Those are just the two I plan to wear soon.”

You’ve definitely seen him wear the maid dress before. It seems like a fan favorite. “What’s this other one?” you ask.

“A stewardess uniform!” he says, and awkwardly scoots around the bed to take it off the wall. “This one is new. It cost a fortune.” He holds it delicately, and almost reverently. “This is a real, actual uniform. It was designed for a luxury airline, but it was a bit too scandalous.” He drapes it against himself and smooths the skirt against his legs. It would definitely be very short when worn. And tight.

“Only 25 of these were made before the design was discontinued and replaced with something way uglier.” He hangs it back up, shaking his head.

Damn.
>>
No. 980277 ID: ce1a37
File 160435811256.png - (480.50KB , 600x600 , 024 - your basic gamer boy.png )
980277

You notice he has a Bobblio figure on his shelf! Your favorite Pocket Guy! You point to it. “Oh, Bobblio! I LOVE Bobblio, he’s my absolute favorite!” You pull out your Bobblio cards and lay them out on the bed. Splotch smiles and picks up the card where Bobblio is balancing on a beach ball.

“Bobblio owns,” he says. “And the Bobblio haters can taste his Bubble Bomb!”

“Yeah!” you cheer. A fellow Bobblio lover!

“And watch out for him in competitive. He’s Wet Baby Boy type, so give him enough Baby Berries and he can use Cutie Pie to grind the opponent’s attack down to dust, heal himself right up with the berries, stall until the opponent has no PP, then BAM, Silly Switch straight to your highest attack Pocket Guy, keeping type in mind, and finish the job. They never see it coming. Or, Supervolve him into Bobliacci, use Big Ol Splash to flood the arena, and absolutely annihilate them with Pressure Washer. And then Bobberina can get straight up OP with a Princess Tiara equipped.”

Alright, he lost you. You don't know what the fuck he’s talking about anymore. You smile and nod.

“What’s your favorite Pocket Guy?” you ask him.

He lights up brighter than his LED strips. “Boxbunny! She’s sooooo cool and cute and strong. I always wanted to grow up to be like her as a kid.”

That checks out to you. “Why don’t you have any figures of her?”

He slumps in his chair. “They did make a fig of her. But it was a limited run years and years ago. The only way to get it anymore is from nerds online who’s wives are making them sell their precious collection, so they put it up for a wild fucking price nobody will pay.”

“Aw, so? I’m sure you could get one after just one stream!”

He spins in his chair, slowly and wistfully. “I bet so… hm.” He looks up at his shelves. “She could go right next to g.RL…”
>>
No. 980278 ID: ce1a37
File 160435813773.png - (473.54KB , 600x600 , 025 - yum yum gimme sum.png )
980278

You take a look at the menus again and consider your options.

Yum, Taffy Pizza! A lot of people violently hate it, but you love the gooey cheese and chewy sweetness together. Pizza is fun, ordering this will chill you out and make you fun to hang out with! (-Stress, +Playfulness, -Swag)

Ooooh, Taffy Sushi! The subtle flavors of the nori and the bold taffy create a complex flavor profile you have to eat calmly and slowly to appreciate. Eating this requires coordination and focus. Good gamer qualities… (-Stress, +Dexterity, -Playful)

Aw nice, a Taffy Burger! A meal fit for a king. You can’t eat one of these bad boys and not walk around like you own the place after. They can get sloppy though. You’ll need napkins! (-Stress, +Swag, -Dexterity)

[All Food Buffs last 4 hours]
>>
No. 980279 ID: 8fab7a

One can never go wrong with some Pizza!
>>
No. 980280 ID: d6551e

let's get some pizza, something cool and casual! and while we wait, maybe ask splotch what his favorite costume is, and if he'd be willing to give us a fashion show?
>>
No. 980281 ID: e7c7d3

Order some sushi. Gotta get prepped for some gaming
>>
No. 980287 ID: 3ed3c3

I'm going to order pizza,
look at me I'm on the phone, right now.
I started calling and I am hungry
to the bone.
So while I wait I start to sing,
the song of my people,
I've known it since I was a baby.
Let's sing the pizza song!
>>
No. 980299 ID: 11c9d0

I feel like that stewardess uniform wasn't worth it. I mean, who actually keeps up with the trials and tribulations of airline stewardess uniforms? Probably would have been a lot cheaper to just get a decent uniform that wasn't a rare collectible. Hell, one could have probably bought several statues with that kind of money.

--

To be honest, this is going pretty well and they seem genuine, which is really surprising.

--

Before you get too far on food, you may want to make sure you both are down for food with taffy. Idk what the average opinion of taffy in food is in this universe, but I find the idea absolutely repulsive. It would be a good idea to double check just in case. I mean, what if they don't care for taffy? They could even be allergic to taffy. Regardless, just double check.
>>
No. 980307 ID: 3b21b6

gotta go with pizza!! maybe you guys can sample each others orders :3

ask him what games he's into lately!! and then ask if its (local) multiplayer...
>>
No. 980314 ID: 9f443d

I don't think your swag rating is why you're friends, honestly. It could come back to haunt later, but pizza seems perfect.

Gotta get him in that stewardess outfit asap, somehow. It'll have to be after the pizza, but you can start dropping hints about how excited you are to see it.
>>
No. 980319 ID: dbd72b

Get Pizza (maybe let him order something else if that's not his thing), then utilize maximum playfulness to get him into that stewardess uniform!
(after you're completely done with the pizza, that shit's messy)
>>
No. 980569 ID: 15a025

Get some Taffy Pizza.


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