[1/2] fungustine 2020/06/14(Sun)16:39 No. 969718 ID: a307f1
File 159217798703.png - (362.36KB , 600x600 , 014 - too many stressy head full.png )

You take the stairs up to the street. Ness van der Waals up the side of the wall and makes it up just a second before you do.

>Streaming could really pay off. Maybe Splotch will let you dabble with his setup.

Do you really think so…. maybe that could be fun, if Splotch agreed. But Ness is coming with so… maybe he wouldn’t.

>Ness is gross.

Haha, yeah.

>Think about your life.

Uhh

>You live in a shitty place.

Well, it’s not so bad. Your apartment has two windows! And Ness usually lets you borrow their pass to the building’s bathroom if they’re home! You only have to pay the fee like half the time. [+5 Stress]

>You have a shitty job.

Sure, but doesn’t everyone? Plus your older cousin is the Front-End Manager, so… actually that affects nothing she’s just as unbearable to you as everyone else. [+10 Stress]

>Splotch probably just sees you as any other clingy fan trying to get closer to him.

Oh god… and it doesn’t help that you’re showing up with a plus one, does it? [+15 Stress]

[2/2] fungustine 2020/06/14(Sun)16:40 No. 969719 ID: a307f1
File 159217801763.png - (344.15KB , 600x600 , 015 - uuuuuwuuuuuuuuuuu.png )

>You don’t even have any real friends.

UuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUuuuuuu………

Wait, that’s not true at all! Biscuit is your closest friend!

“u okay? looks like ur havin a crisis down there lol” Ness says.

You sniff. “Ness, instead of letting me borrow your bathroom pass for helping you, c-could I have some of your weed for my friend Biscuit?”

“lmao sure i’ll smoke u guys out, if you buy the snacks lol. shits expensive. don’t worry about the pass lol you know I just use substrate anyway.”

Ness is so kind…. you’re tearing up… wait did they just invite themself along again.

“btw sorry but I can see your junk lol do you wanna go like pants shopping or somethin” they say. “no hate-o no creep-o it’s just like. Out. wait where’d u even get that.”

The Store is a block away, you could stop in on the way to Splotch’s, although the thought revolts you on your day off. You could just get snacks later if you really wanted.

if you convert your scarf into a mawashi, then no one can see the front or back of your new aquisition!! you might be mistaken for a sumo wrestler though...
Ness uh, seems pretty lonely if they keep inviting themself along? are they... too gross for other people to hang out with? how did yall start exchanging favors anyway?

Banish genitals to the shadow realm for today so you don't have to buy pants. Tell Ness it just showed up with a poof, is that not how people normally get them?

Also tell Ness that you just realized that this is your first time meeting Splotch and you don't know if he'd want you to bring someone along.
Maybe send him a message about it.

Wait, someone you've known for a while but never hanged out with in person invited you to get some food, and wants to spend 300 dollars doing it?

THAT sounds like a date for sure.

You don't know where the genitals came from, and you haven't gotten to try them out yet.

Though that does raise the question of why you needed to use the bathroom before....

Still avoid The Store. Someone else can grab the snacks

"It's my new birthday suit."

>>969719
>Biscuit
I actually forgot about Biscuit. From the little that we have seen, she seems genuine. If so, she is probably the best person we could go see right now. She would be the most receptive to our issues since she actually cares about us. Additionally, if she is fighting her own demons, we should totally helper with that as best as we can, since that is what friends do.
Bottom line is we should weed out all of the "friends" and strengthen our actual friendships.
We are only sunk if we have no real friends.

--

>>969720
>lonely
Idk, I can see where you are coming from, but unless they throw us a bone in that regard, we really shouldn't assume such a thing, since it would be incredibly mean and rude. (though if they do open up to us about such a thing, we should probably try to help them clean themselves up, figuratively speaking. no peeling) That being said, there is a good chance they are just a mean, somewhat Machiavellian person. I mean, it sounds like they just sort of forced us into the favor situation because we were too meek to say no. Especially since we are doing favors to get the chance to pay for the privilege to use the complex's bathroom, which is incredibly messed up. Assuming we are a tenant in the apartment complex and not a squatter, what happened to our own pass? What is keeping us from sending a request to the landlord for a new pass?

>>969722
Honestly, to me it just sounds like they have disposable income and are trying to impress us so we would be more open to manipulation. People that are somewhat famous will often do that sort of thing, unfortunately.

>>969752
All this stress is bad for the Laydidee.

>>969796
I don't doubt that, but at the same time, if we just sit in our problems and don't address them, they just get worse. Honestly, our cleaning of the room earlier was a great analogy.
To me, it just seems more depressing to see someone in a bad situation just roll over and make the best of it when they could work to improve it.

[1/4] fungustine 2020/06/16(Tue)15:17 No. 969870 ID: a307f1
File 159234582259.png - (500.13KB , 600x600 , 016 - poof___.png )

You consider your new Genitals. “Uh, they just appeared with a poof this morning. Is that not how everyone else gets them?”

“guess i couldn’t tell ya when and where i got mine, lol” Ness says.

>How did you use the bathroom before having them?

Um, the normal way?

>What happened to your bathroom pass?

It’s a monthly subscription to have the bathroom pass. You opted not to renew it after the first few months living here because Ness was so generous offering theirs. You’re not actually sure why Ness has one considering they rarely use it, if ever.

You don’t really want to go to The Store right now. You briefly consider using your scarf to form a sumo wrestler’s mawashi when— POOF!

Your Genitals are gone again!

Ness stares at you. “what.”

Aw. You never even got to do anything with them. Maybe you can make them come back again another time?

[2/4] fungustine 2020/06/16(Tue)15:17 No. 969871 ID: a307f1
File 159234584393.png - (304.67KB , 600x600 , 017 - sad___.png )

>Maybe Ness shouldn’t come to Splotch’s with you, actually.

M-maybe not… you never mentioned it to Splotch, and it would be a little rude to show up with someone else who wasn’t invited. You think of what to say. [+10 Stress]

“Um, Ness? Now that I think about it…. maybe you shouldn’t actually come with me right now.”

Ness stands there for a moment, then says, “Oh?”

They seem unthrilled.

“N-NOT BECAUSE I don’t want to hang out or anything, it’s just—“ you scramble for an excuse. Ness looks away. “It’s just that, uh, I think… I think maybe it’s a, uh, ahaha, a Date?? Haha”

[3/4] fungustine 2020/06/16(Tue)15:17 No. 969872 ID: a307f1
File 159234587657.png - (378.54KB , 600x600 , 018 - squeak-ee___.png )

Ness turns back toward you, their expression totally reversed. “oooooooh, laydidee, you tail-chaser!”

Now they seem... delighted?

“why didn’t u just say so, ya little stud! it’s about time lmaooooo i was getting worried about u” They nudge you hard in the ribs.

“Haha… well,” you say.

“alright look I’ll walk ya there since ya seem nervous. then we can meet up later before we go see your other friend. oh!” They squat down and dig through their bag. When they find what they were looking for in the deepest darkest corner, they hold it out for you to take.

It’s… a condom. You hastily grab it and stuff it in your scarf.

[4/4] fungustine 2020/06/16(Tue)15:18 No. 969873 ID: a307f1
File 159234589467.png - (317.94KB , 600x600 , 019 - Approaching___.png )

The both of you keep walking. You take out your phone to text Biscuit along the way. You send a message that says “Hey Bisky! I saw your post earlier. I’m busy this morning but what if Genessika and I come by later with weed? :0 (sorry they’re the one who has the stuff lol)”

They respond a few minutes later as you approach Splotch’s apartment building. “sure!!! ^_^ any friend of urs is a friend of mine!!!! see you later! :3 <3”

Well… you’re here. Your first time meeting Splotch. What should you say to him? Should you try to act cool or something? You’re nervous suddenly!

[Stress Level: Troubled]

>>969872
>squeak-ee
Why do people keep doing that? That's your ribs pressing into your lungs.
>>969873
Take a few seconds to do some stress management. Reaffirm yourself. You're a cute, little critter with some cool buddies to hang out with and a rad scarf. There's hope for your romantic prospects, and even Ness knows that if the condom was any indication. Today is going to be a good day.

>>969873
Idk, follow your heart.

Things to keep in mind:
1. This is probably not a date, since that was a conclusion you reached.
2. They may not be as genuinely interested in you as you are of them.
3. They may end up actually being a bad person.
3a. They may end up not actually seeming bad, but will try to manipulate you or even drug you.
4. Just keep your head on, be careful, and think critically. You may end up being pleasantly surprised.

5. Ditch the damn condom, that is not a first date activity unless you are trying to have a one night stand.

Alright take a bit of time to calm down. Relax, Splotch invited you, which means he's really your friend. You're gonna have a fun time, you look nice, and you're prepared in case things *really* go well.
I dunno if trying to act "cool" is a good idea, but you can try to be confident? Go with some generally-acceptable social moves like saying it's nice to meet him in person.

>>969881
What the heck, don't be such a downer!

Splotch is your pal, just act natural!! just talk to him like how you usually do. i bet Splotch is really excited to see you
also we should check out the dumpster after we leave (but not before). people who live in nice places throw out some niiiice stuff sometimes that needs the smallest of touch ups.

>>969882
This!

>>969887
No dumpster diving! 's rude (going through private stuff) and currently unnecessary (Dee's not that needy!).

>>969883
I don't want to be a downer. It just seems like there are red flags. Maybe I am being a bit too pessimistic, though.

[1/3] fungustine 2020/06/25(Thu)20:25 No. 970705 ID: a307f1
File 159314190082.png - (354.76KB , 600x600 , 020 - knock knock bitch.png )

Bad thoughts swirl in your gay little head, but you take a moment to calm down and reaffirm yourself. You’re cute, you’re little, you have good friends and a rad scarf. Splotch invited you here and seemed excited about it! Worse case scenario, if things go bad, you can just go dumpster diving. You knock on Splotch’s door.

[2/3] Suggestion 2020/06/25(Thu)20:25 No. 970706 ID: a307f1
File 159314191567.png - (242.54KB , 600x600 , 021 - splotch.png )

After a moment, Splotch opens up and greets you.

“Scotchy!!!!!” he trills. “You’re SO SHORT. I mean we’re almost the same height but look at you!! Omg.”

He looks different in real life! Well, no, he looks exactly the same, but more… normal? Down to earth? He looks more like how he posts than how he streams.

"Hi Splotch! It's nice to see you! Sorry I took a while getting here," you say.

“That's okay, I'm just glad to see you! Come inside, I’m hungry!” he says.

[3/3] Suggestion 2020/06/25(Thu)20:25 No. 970707 ID: a307f1
File 159314193632.png - (369.48KB , 600x600 , 022 - gamer living space.png )

You follow him inside and he sits down in his Gamer Chair, carefully sliding his tail through the back like any regular animal.

You get a good view of his room from the opposite angle than the camera usually faces. He has posters on the wall like you do, only they look more tailored to his interests. Like he bought them, instead of got them from work in place of a raise. There are some costumes hanging on the wall beside his bed that are out of frame most of the time.

His shelves are full of figures from games and anime. You recognize his main from the game he plays most, and most of the Pocket Guys (including Bobblio! Your favorite!), but whoever most of the anime girls are is lost on you.

Behind him is his Gamer Setup. A lot of it is glowing, flowing lazily through the colors of the rainbow. He has one really nice monitor, and one that seems old and busted. It looks like he was scrolling the Website on both?

He digs in his desk drawer and hands you some delivery menus. “Sorry. I haven’t eaten, I’m dying!” he says. “Oh, make yourself at home! Sit down!”

“Thanks,” you say, and sit down in his bed. It’s very soft.

He glances sideways at the Website, and then asks, “So! What do you wanna do today?” and smiles at you.

[It’s 10:53 am and on your person you have your scarf, your phone, a deck of Pocket Guys cards, and one condom. Your Stress levels are Manageable]

whats on those menus 👀 👀 👀
also ask Splotch about his fave Pocket Guys

>>970707
This room is excellent.
Watch a movie! Maybe play a bit of some co-op video game if he's not too tired of doing that for a living.

Anything you can order a la carte? Get to try some stuff you usually don't and get some info on what Splotch's tastes are like.

>>970709
Doubt that is an option unless they have a console. You could try a board game though. I'd say go for that or a movie.

>>970709
do this

also! compliment the maid outfit, it looks very well-tailored

Light compliments and shared interests are a great way to get things going while you peruse the menus. I second both complimenting his fashion choices and talking about Pocket Guys.

>>970707

Love that tidiness with the power strip, though it looks like Splotch might be a little RGB-happy.

>>970818
Lol nah, that is just the gamer aesthetic.

You can talk about how much you like Dorian Electra! Maybe by suggesting a little background music.

Talk about Pocket Guys and show him your deck.

Ask him where he got those stockings.

>>970707
complement them on their BIG GAY ENERGY room.

Oh my god this quest is amazing, also has a real Tuca and Bertie vibe xD

I guess if they're offering to pay you could take the opportunity to get something you don't usually have the money to go for (like sushi or something, of course without taking the piss), if such options are available

Talk about Bobblio! Also maybe ask what the anime figs are?

Let's also have a look at that menu. Are you a meat-eater, or do you prefer veges?

[1/3] sorry for the hiatus :P fungustine 2020/11/02(Mon)15:01 No. 980276 ID: ce1a37
File 160435809184.png - (297.98KB , 600x600 , 023 - GLADO returns.png )

You flip through the delivery menus while you admire Splotch’s room. Your eyes catch on his costumes. They aren’t shitty cheap halloween costumes made of that shiny, bad smelling material. They look like proper cotton, and well tailored. You reach out a paw to touch the apron of the maid dress. “Your clothes are soo cute and nice!” you say.

Splotch beams. “Thank you! I take really good care of all my cosplay stuff. I have a lot more in plastic under the bed. Those are just the two I plan to wear soon.”

You’ve definitely seen him wear the maid dress before. It seems like a fan favorite. “What’s this other one?” you ask.

“A stewardess uniform!” he says, and awkwardly scoots around the bed to take it off the wall. “This one is new. It cost a fortune.” He holds it delicately, and almost reverently. “This is a real, actual uniform. It was designed for a luxury airline, but it was a bit too scandalous.” He drapes it against himself and smooths the skirt against his legs. It would definitely be very short when worn. And tight.

“Only 25 of these were made before the design was discontinued and replaced with something way uglier.” He hangs it back up, shaking his head.

Damn.

[2/3] fungustine 2020/11/02(Mon)15:01 No. 980277 ID: ce1a37
File 160435811256.png - (480.50KB , 600x600 , 024 - your basic gamer boy.png )

You notice he has a Bobblio figure on his shelf! Your favorite Pocket Guy! You point to it. “Oh, Bobblio! I LOVE Bobblio, he’s my absolute favorite!” You pull out your Bobblio cards and lay them out on the bed. Splotch smiles and picks up the card where Bobblio is balancing on a beach ball.

“Bobblio owns,” he says. “And the Bobblio haters can taste his Bubble Bomb!”

“Yeah!” you cheer. A fellow Bobblio lover!

“And watch out for him in competitive. He’s Wet Baby Boy type, so give him enough Baby Berries and he can use Cutie Pie to grind the opponent’s attack down to dust, heal himself right up with the berries, stall until the opponent has no PP, then BAM, Silly Switch straight to your highest attack Pocket Guy, keeping type in mind, and finish the job. They never see it coming. Or, Supervolve him into Bobliacci, use Big Ol Splash to flood the arena, and absolutely annihilate them with Pressure Washer. And then Bobberina can get straight up OP with a Princess Tiara equipped.”

Alright, he lost you. You don't know what the fuck he’s talking about anymore. You smile and nod.

“What’s your favorite Pocket Guy?” you ask him.

He lights up brighter than his LED strips. “Boxbunny! She’s sooooo cool and cute and strong. I always wanted to grow up to be like her as a kid.”

That checks out to you. “Why don’t you have any figures of her?”

He slumps in his chair. “They did make a fig of her. But it was a limited run years and years ago. The only way to get it anymore is from nerds online who’s wives are making them sell their precious collection, so they put it up for a wild fucking price nobody will pay.”

“Aw, so? I’m sure you could get one after just one stream!”

He spins in his chair, slowly and wistfully. “I bet so… hm.” He looks up at his shelves. “She could go right next to g.RL…”

[3/3] fungustine 2020/11/02(Mon)15:02 No. 980278 ID: ce1a37
File 160435813773.png - (473.54KB , 600x600 , 025 - yum yum gimme sum.png )

You take a look at the menus again and consider your options.

Yum, Taffy Pizza! A lot of people violently hate it, but you love the gooey cheese and chewy sweetness together. Pizza is fun, ordering this will chill you out and make you fun to hang out with! (-Stress, +Playfulness, -Swag)

Ooooh, Taffy Sushi! The subtle flavors of the nori and the bold taffy create a complex flavor profile you have to eat calmly and slowly to appreciate. Eating this requires coordination and focus. Good gamer qualities… (-Stress, +Dexterity, -Playful)

Aw nice, a Taffy Burger! A meal fit for a king. You can’t eat one of these bad boys and not walk around like you own the place after. They can get sloppy though. You’ll need napkins! (-Stress, +Swag, -Dexterity)

[All Food Buffs last 4 hours]

One can never go wrong with some Pizza!

let's get some pizza, something cool and casual! and while we wait, maybe ask splotch what his favorite costume is, and if he'd be willing to give us a fashion show?

Order some sushi. Gotta get prepped for some gaming

I'm going to order pizza,
look at me I'm on the phone, right now.
I started calling and I am hungry
to the bone.
So while I wait I start to sing,
the song of my people,
I've known it since I was a baby.
Let's sing the pizza song!

I feel like that stewardess uniform wasn't worth it. I mean, who actually keeps up with the trials and tribulations of airline stewardess uniforms? Probably would have been a lot cheaper to just get a decent uniform that wasn't a rare collectible. Hell, one could have probably bought several statues with that kind of money.

--

To be honest, this is going pretty well and they seem genuine, which is really surprising.

--

Before you get too far on food, you may want to make sure you both are down for food with taffy. Idk what the average opinion of taffy in food is in this universe, but I find the idea absolutely repulsive. It would be a good idea to double check just in case. I mean, what if they don't care for taffy? They could even be allergic to taffy. Regardless, just double check.

gotta go with pizza!! maybe you guys can sample each others orders :3

ask him what games he's into lately!! and then ask if its (local) multiplayer...

I don't think your swag rating is why you're friends, honestly. It could come back to haunt later, but pizza seems perfect.

Gotta get him in that stewardess outfit asap, somehow. It'll have to be after the pizza, but you can start dropping hints about how excited you are to see it.

Get Pizza (maybe let him order something else if that's not his thing), then utilize maximum playfulness to get him into that stewardess uniform!
(after you're completely done with the pizza, that shit's messy)

Get some Taffy Pizza.