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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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File 158703837873.png - (13.51KB , 450x400 , tri_hard.png )
962158 No. 962158 ID: cadb36

THE burgers have been stolen by ninjas!

ARE YOU a BAD enough girl to save your fast food JOB?
Expand all images
No. 962159 ID: cadb36
File 158703841726.png - (29.59KB , 600x400 , th_001.png )

YOU don't know it YET, BUT there's a BIG DAY ahead FOR YOU!

FOR NOW though, your BED is FAR TOO comfy. YOU lounge in there, ILL-defined AND at peace with THE world. Getting mixed up in crimes AND punishment is still seconds, maybe even minutes away.

YOU have three special powers YOU CAN call upon, what ARE they?

(Each ART must be exactly three letters)

1) _ _ _

2) _ _ _

3) _ _ _
No. 962160 ID: 2aa5f0

No. 962161 ID: d88d26

No. 962170 ID: 9876c4

No. 962174 ID: a9af05

No. 962177 ID: e85a08

No. 962178 ID: 9c48ac

No. 962181 ID: 29e9f3

No. 962195 ID: b1b4f3

No. 962196 ID: 11f77a

No. 962199 ID: 094652

No. 962201 ID: e20834

No. 962206 ID: ce39da

No. 962207 ID: b07f1c

No. 962239 ID: 0fae41

No. 962262 ID: cadb36
File 158712838507.png - (21.85KB , 400x600 , th_002.png )


THE words boom in your dozing brain like an insistent alarm clock.

What a magnificent triad YOU have. THE power to give things THE gift of fluttering little wings or send them hurtling away, THE power to summon AND control THE dark distillate AND THE power to make things huge.

BUT those words ARE sounding more AND more like an alarm clock.

YOU solve THE perplexing mysteries that VEX YOU by opening your EYEs, tensing your BOD AND then HAH, HYA, HUT! OUT of BED YOU spring.
No. 962263 ID: cadb36
File 158712841269.png - (33.08KB , 600x400 , th_003.png )

YOU seem to be in your bedroom. First clue: the BED.

THE noise WAS actually a dream, because YOU do NOT OWN an alarm clock!

It seems awfully bright FOR THE middle of THE night. That MAY make getting back to sleep hard. YOU need your NAP, YOU have an early start today. YOU ARE supposed to be on THE opening shift at THE burger shop.
No. 962264 ID: cadb36
File 158712843449.png - (21.36KB , 600x400 , th_004.png )

Oh wait, YOU're running late!

Wait no don't wait!

1) GET ready! (HOW?)

2) Procrastinate! (WHY?)

3) There's no time, leave immediately! (NOW!)
No. 962267 ID: b78a11

Shit, go NOW. WHO cares about HOW YOU ARE dressed, YOU will be behind THE counter most of THE DAY so no ONE should SEE YOU in your panties.
No. 962268 ID: 015bf2

Getting an early start on being a bad enough something, I see.

Get ready!

Step 1: Summon everything you require with wings (except liquids or furniture).

Step 2: Unsummon wings on things.

Step 2.5: If this is the first time you display use of cool cosmic powers, spend 1 1/2 minute in silent gaping shock, before remembering you still need to go to work.

Step 3: Hop in your clothes and eat whatever snack you have lying about. Now you should be ready for work!
No. 962280 ID: 0fae41

Get ready. Get BIG!
No. 962281 ID: 2aa5f0

whatever you do use flight on self to get to work faster.
No. 962283 ID: 9876c4


Let us be the albatross around our own neck.
No. 962321 ID: e85a08

Leave NOW! The ninjas can't keep getting away with this!
No. 962400 ID: cadb36
File 158721865184.png - (14.70KB , 600x400 , th_005.png )

Time's a wasting, YOU have to go. No DIP in THE TUB, YOU won't have a BIT to EAT, YOU won't SIP some TEA AND your clothes ARE fine: YOU won't even DON a HAT.

BUT YOU have to move fast AND SET a good example. YOU definitely are NOT a BAD enough employee to GET fired.

YOU USE THE BIG ART! YOU triple in size. NOW YOU CAN be sure that everyone at work looks up to YOU.

YOU'll be behind THE counter most of THE DAY, everything will work OUT.
No. 962401 ID: cadb36
File 158721868576.png - (34.15KB , 600x400 , th_006.png )

CAN YOU be faster than fast? YOU USE THE FLY ART! YOU summon little wings on yourself to GET in to work faster. This time YOU made BAT wings, nice!

YOU flutter to THE door, it's slightly faster than walking.
No. 962402 ID: cadb36
File 158721873331.png - (19.65KB , 600x400 , th_007.png )

Look OUT, a Ninja BOT is in THE apartment hallway! It CAN't keep getting away with this! There's rampant ninja-based crime lately AND consumer electronics ARE NOT THE exception.

Ninja BOT wants to fight!

1) Maybe this means it wants to chat. (SAY)

2) Sometimes a fight is just a fight. (HIT)

3) There's no time FOR this! (RUN)
No. 962406 ID: 2aa5f0

no time, you're running late, use fly on the bot to hurl him into the air and keep going towards work.
No. 962413 ID: e51896

USE TAR on THE floor as YOU RUN away so that if THE ninja chases YOU, it will have trouble keeping up if it chases after YOU as it steps in THE TAR on THE floor.

oh, AND lock THE door so it doesn't invade THE house.
No. 962422 ID: 1727bd

No. 962443 ID: c58093

No. 962501 ID: 094652

GET away from THE BOT, your work awaits NOW!
No. 962539 ID: cadb36
File 158727867904.png - (24.15KB , 600x400 , th_008.png )

"bzzzt, NOW we will fight." the Ninja BOT SAYs.

"YOU thought that YOU could stall until my battery WAS flat, BUT i brought my charger today! your meaty pacifism is as ILL conceived as ALL flesh, beep boop!"

As much as this clearly WAS your plan to deal with this uppity toaster, there's no time for it ANY more. Strange though, YOU don't remember randomly picking fights with ANY ninjas or BOTs recently. Perhaps they were in disguise?

There's no time FOR this! YOU bravely lock THE door AND RUN away. YOU USE THE TAR ART to spray a slick of slippery AND sticky TAR behind you.
No. 962540 ID: cadb36
File 158727871701.png - (21.87KB , 600x400 , th_009.png )

THE Ninja BOT slips AND sticks in your impromptu TAR PIT.

"TAR? i hate TAR! YOU'll PAY FOR this someday, bzzzt! THE revenge boolean will be SET to true!"

Definitely nothing to worry about YOU decide.
No. 962541 ID: cadb36
File 158727875230.png - (25.75KB , 600x400 , th_010.png )

OUT THE window YOU go.

Fire escapes ARE a fast WAY to THE ground, BUT YOU have little BAT wings so YOU CAN be faster than fast.

BUT down below is...

1) A food stand, grab breakfast on THE go. (EAT)

2) A kitten stuck up a tree. (CAT)

3) Nothing, go to work already! (JOB)
No. 962544 ID: 0fae41

A kitten stuck up a tree? This sounds like a job for our BIG! It will PAY to PRY CAT from OAK!
No. 962558 ID: b1b4f3

No. 962574 ID: 9876c4


It should fall out of the tree on its own.
No. 962727 ID: cadb36
File 158738741730.png - (30.03KB , 600x400 , th_011.png )

Down LOW there's a helpless animal that is trapped up a tree. YOU must protect it from itself, as YOU hope others might some DAY do THE same FOR YOU.

YOU know it will PAY to PRY THE CAT from this OAK.
No. 962728 ID: cadb36
File 158738743608.png - (29.62KB , 600x400 , th_012.png )

HOW do YOU GET a CAT OUT of a tree?
No. 962732 ID: 0fae41

You stand on someone else's shoulders to reach them!
...wait, maybe they should SIT on yours instead.
No. 962733 ID: 2aa5f0

can you cast big on yourself and pick up the cat and put it down?
No. 962741 ID: 2ebd48

FLY up AND grab it

CAT: scratch weird person trying to grab YOU everywhere
No. 962760 ID: 0fae41

We would have to cast TWO BIG!
No. 962761 ID: 9876c4

No. 962774 ID: 6e6f32

do it

then FLY it to work.
No. 963006 ID: cadb36
File 158754930863.png - (31.50KB , 600x400 , th_013.png )

YOU could enlist someone to help, combining your BIG with their ability to SIT on your shoulders, BUT an even better kind of co-operation comes to YOU.

YOU BIG THE CAT, then YOU TWO BIG THE CAT AND SO ON until it is TOO BIG to stay in THE OAK. THE branch snaps AND THE CAT falls to THE ground BUT as everyone knows CATs always land on their feet.
No. 963007 ID: cadb36
File 158754938792.png - (23.14KB , 600x400 , th_014.png )

"Miaow?" THE CAT SAYs. That means thank YOU.

YOU mount your noble steed. It's so soft! YOU feel a rumbling purr as YOU GET ready to take OFF AND FLY to your JOB. This is your best idea ALL DAY!
No. 963008 ID: cadb36
File 158754942399.png - (29.32KB , 600x400 , th_015.png )

"YOU stop right there TRI!"


"What makes YOU think YOU're allowed to FLY a CAT to work, HUH? No-ONE is going ANYwhere until YOU explain WHY YOU deserve this!"

YOU know he's BAD because THE cool police would have high-fived YOU instead. YOU know he's a COP because of HIS HAT. YOU know he's really strong because of HIS name.

What should YOU do?
No. 963015 ID: 0fae41

CUZ I am RAD and I LET THE CAT OUT of ITS BAG! THE BAG is a metaphor FOR THE tree, YOU SEE?
No. 963017 ID: 9876c4

I think you'll find...
No. 963037 ID: ce39da

"Do YOU SEE a LAW saying I CAN't? Do YOU have a warrant FOR my arrest? I DID NOT think so! IT'S YOU that HAS to explain WHY, NOT me!"
No. 963040 ID: e51896

Suprised he isnt stopping us FOR being underdressed

support >>963015
No. 963163 ID: b1b4f3

He's GOT a point. AIR traffic LAW doesn't account FOR FLYing CATs. Keep THE skies clear!
No. 963220 ID: 5a05f7

Make HIS HAT FLY so he won't have a HAT and thus won't be a COP AND then he can't stop YOU
No. 964066 ID: cadb36
File 158807682249.png - (28.98KB , 600x400 , th_016.png )

YOU LET THE BAD COP know that YOU ARE RAD, that YOU LET THE CAT OUT of its BAG AND that BAG means tree. It's called a metaphor. Doesn't he SEE?

HIS mustache bristles ominously as he GETs in your face. "THE only thing I'm going to SEE is YOU in jail!"

He doesn't have a warrant FOR your arrest, YOU protest. BIG CATs are purrfectly permissible under PAW LAW. He HAS to explain WHY YOU don't deserve to FLY a CAT!

"Where is your kitty litter BAG?" he ASKs. "AND pants?"
No. 964067 ID: cadb36
File 158807683831.png - (19.95KB , 600x400 , th_017.png )

No. 964068 ID: cadb36
File 158807686425.png - (25.08KB , 400x600 , th_018.png )

YOU send HIS HAT flying.

THE BAD COP is reduced to a bald coot AND no longer HAS THE LAW on HIS side. He's helpless to stop YOU!

"Rrrr?" THE CAT SAYs. That means "Acquitted!"
No. 964069 ID: cadb36
File 158807688960.png - (18.78KB , 600x400 , th_019.png )

YOU spur your CAT steed AND it springs up clear into THE SKY.

It's such a clear DAY, what should YOU do next?

1) Celebrate your victory somehow! (JOY)

2) Oh no an aeroplane!? (JET)

3) Go. To. Work. (JOB)
No. 964070 ID: 0fae41

C. Hurry up! It's time to ERN YER PAY!
No. 964072 ID: 0c008e

The people need burgers! It is your purpose, your calling! JOB!
No. 964074 ID: e51896

lets PUT some suspense into this story.

even worse, IT IS DRIVEN BY A NINJA BOT!!!
No. 964075 ID: 2aa5f0

No. 964077 ID: 9caba2

Celebrate with some rum or such. It's a bit early in the day but who cares?
No. 964090 ID: 9f0903

Do YOU remember WHY YOU're NOT wearing pants right NOW? That's right! YOU ARE in a hurry! YOU ARE almost late! So go do your JOB!
No. 964748 ID: cadb36
File 158849313198.png - (17.54KB , 600x400 , th_020.png )

YOU have saved ONE CAT from the peril of OAK, BUT NOW YOU need to save many people from THE worst danger of ALL: starvation!

THE people need burgers! It is your purpose, your calling! AND YOU need to earn your PAY!

YOU cooperate with gravity to streak OUT of THE SKY like a shooting star to THE street that Bird Burg is on. THE CAT lands on its feet, YOU HOP OFF AND THE CAT curls up FOR a NAP.
No. 964749 ID: cadb36
File 158849319232.png - (32.83KB , 600x400 , th_021.png )

"Well look what THE CAT dragged in." your boss SAYs. "I SEE YOU made it here, despite my directions."

What, is your boss in league with THE ninjas AND THE police??? What kind of conspiracy is this, it goes ALL THE WAY to THE TOP!!!

Your boss looks at YOU with world weary dismay, like SHE's looking at an idiot.

"YOU didn't check your phone, DID YOU? ALL THE burgers in THE city have been stolen by ninjas. Maybe YOU could have prevented this with your dumb superpowers if YOU were actually on time FOR once. Shift's cancelled, go home. Also, give me TWO reasons to NOT fire YOU."

Oh no! YOU won't GET your PAY if YOU don't have your JOB!
No. 964754 ID: 9f0903

>"I SEE YOU made it here, despite my directions."
I WAS NOT expecting that reference.

>Also, give me TWO reasons to NOT fire YOU.
"I am adorable AND I CAN GET THE burgers back. BUT mostly THE second ONE."
No. 964761 ID: 12b116


No. 964762 ID: 0fae41

1 - YOU ARE NOT a ninja.
2 - YOU CAN GET them BAK.
No. 964766 ID: e51896

2 reasons WHY to NOT fire TRI
1. I do NOT make FOR a tasty burger if YOU SET me on fire to cook.
2. >>964762 >I CAN GET them BAK.
No. 964775 ID: 9876c4

1.PEP (YOU have the NRG to GET the JOB DUN)
2.NTR (YOU DID kiss her boyfriend TWO times, BUT you feel BAD NOW)
3.TAR (YOU ARE very useful, come FIX the parking LOT DAY)
No. 964785 ID: 2aa5f0

ONE: Because YOU CAN GET everything back

TWO: SHE HAS an EYE or TWO always looking at your BUM when SHE thinks YOU ARE NOT looking. I mean THE JOB interview WAS just HER asking YOU TOO bend over AND pick things up over AND over again.
No. 964891 ID: cadb36
File 158858319641.png - (17.84KB , 400x600 , th_022.png )

YOU LET THE boss know YOU have style AND YOU have PEP, YOU CAN GET THE burgers back.

AND TWO, YOU know YOU only GOT this JOB because of your HOT BOD. YOU've spotted HER EYE on your cute BUM when SHE thinks YOU won't SEE. YOU're adorable!

"That's TWO reasons BUT YOU have to prove it!" THE boss bird decrees.

YOU take your first step with ONE FLY LEG on a journey to defeat those ninjas, return burgers to THE city AND save your JOB.
No. 964892 ID: cadb36
File 158858321419.png - (16.16KB , 600x400 , th_023.png )

THE boss blocks your path. SHE's looking pretty steamed!

"Stop right there!!! YOU need TWO! Prove YOU're sexy!!! Do something HOT right NOW!!!"
No. 964895 ID: 12b116

No. 964899 ID: 2aa5f0

Well if SHE insists. Give HER a LAP dance. bring HER TOO ONE of the booths AND give HER a good and proper LAP dance. Remember to show lots of LEG AND give HER a good view of your ASS when YOU CAN. Then when SHE is ALL HOT AND bothered END it by giving HER head a HUG with your thighs AND ASK if that WAS HOT enough FOR HER.
No. 964900 ID: 5877dc

PEE on the floor.
No. 964901 ID: e51896

BIG your breasts
No. 964913 ID: 0fae41

Go TWO BIG and HUG THE bird. Whisper that YOU will be taking this ONE to go.
No. 964991 ID: f880b5

Flap your wings alluringly.
No. 965048 ID: 0c008e

The ones on your head.
No. 966105 ID: b1b4f3

Gotta go with THE classic.
No. 967364 ID: cadb36
File 159006169341.png - (27.94KB , 600x400 , th_024.png )

YOU flap your wings alluringly as YOU PAW THE ASS AND TIT. That's pretty HOT. Next YOU go TWO BIG AND YOU BIG your breasts, thinking this bird will like THE BIG TIT.

SHE's weakening! YOU HUG the swooning bird AND whisper YOU will be taking this ONE to go. SHE murmurs, "YES!"

YOU haven't been fired AND YOU've recruited a NEW companion to replace NAP CAT! Smooth!
No. 967365 ID: cadb36
File 159006175123.png - (29.28KB , 600x400 , th_025.png )

THE restaurant door bursts open.

"Damn u TRI, gotta kill u both because of u!!!"

Oh no, that's your junior coworker, BOB Person. He WAS a Ninja SPY ALL along or something!

He's GOT a GUN!
No. 967366 ID: 9caba2

No. 967369 ID: 2aa5f0

quick, us FLY on HIS GUN TOO throw OFF HIS AIM AND then USE TAR on HIM TOO keep HIM from running away.
No. 967370 ID: e51896

Wait a minute... is he naked under that apron? HOW kinky would that be if that is true?


shall we find OUT? FLY HIS apron!
No. 967371 ID: 33056f

TAR GUN to JAM it. Then SIT on HIM.
No. 967394 ID: f9f027

BIG HIS HAT and by that I mean headband so it turns into a blindfold! Then BIG his bullets so he can't shoot his gun! If physics are in effect...
No. 967395 ID: b1b4f3

No. 967399 ID: 9876c4

Combine these TWO.

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