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File 148869440645.jpg - (317.48KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonCrawlTitle.jpg )
785044 No. 785044 ID: e136ae

Previous Thread: https://tgchan.org/kusaba/quest/res/665423.html

SPIKE and KITTY came CLOSE ENOUGH to completing their last mission to begin a NEW ONE.




This particular dungeon to which they shall crawl is one of the MOST EXCLUSIVE dungeons. A dungeon so exclusive that the only way to get to it is through a SPECIAL PORTAL guarded by a LEVEL 50 TITAN named ORCUS and he will NOT let you in UNLESS you are on HIS LIST.
Expand all images
No. 785045 ID: e136ae
File 148869447642.jpg - (249.73KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonCrawl1.jpg )

Kitty: Do you like your balls?

Orcus: Yes ma'm, I do.

Kitty: Are we on the list?

Orcus: Yes ma'm, you are now as of this moment.
No. 785046 ID: e136ae
File 148869448887.jpg - (261.85KB , 640x720 , SK_DUngeonCrawl2.jpg )

Orcus: May I say this is the only time I regret having a cat girl get into my pants?

Kitty: You may.
No. 785057 ID: 094652

And now you slice off his toes as Skyrim ingredients.
No. 785071 ID: e136ae
File 148870141976.jpg - (157.18KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonCrawlSpike.jpg )

With that, our party is allowed into the EXTREMELY TRENDY DUNGEON.

In case you might have forgotten our party, they comprise of

SPIKE Von Scratchinpost, our gallant FIGHTER.

He has defeated many dragons. Taken their treasure. Provided them with counselling and a 12 step program afterwards.
No. 785085 ID: 143250

Lets have a flashback on those those counselling
No. 785090 ID: e136ae
File 148870669957.jpg - (333.28KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonCrawlSpike_Flashback.jpg )

>Lets have a flashback on those those counselling




Spike: OK!


Spike: OK!


Spike: OK!

This repeated. Eventually it became a meme amongst the other dragons and they parroted it endlessly long after it wasn't funny. Soon nobody took them seriously and people made fun of their collections of figurines of anime and comic book characters and ponies. Then the dragons got tired of living in their parent's dungeon and went out to make something of themselves. This flashback then rambled on for way too long and then we went on to introduce the next character.
No. 785091 ID: e136ae
File 148870683850.jpg - (86.12KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonCrawlKitty.jpg )

>... oh right. The party.

>The party consists of the gallant SPIKE the FIGHTER, the cunning KITTY McMORRIS the THIEF who...

Kitty: I just snuck into a titan's pants undetected and threatened to cut his balls off. I think that's a good enough, don't you?

>... yeah good enough.
No. 785095 ID: 143250

...Is that all you've done in there?
No. 785112 ID: bb8aba

I see as a strong, independent female she don't need no man or no shirt for that matter either.
No. 785195 ID: e136ae
File 148874547603.jpg - (247.11KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonCrawlKitty2.jpg )

Kitty: Well apparently my outfit got modeled after the thief character from some old Capcom game but I think it makes me look like that genie chick.
No. 785221 ID: 143250

And what a coincidence, she is standing right behind you.
No. 785286 ID: e136ae
File 148876650591.jpg - (133.53KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonCrawlFlycatcher.jpg )

>The wise MAGIC USER FLYCATCHER, who stands against demons using the might of his spells and deep arcane...
No. 785287 ID: e136ae
File 148876655279.jpg - (213.23KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonCrawlFlycatcherb.jpg )

>... fists which become comically large for dramatic effect when he kills something.
No. 785289 ID: 3abd97

Flycatcher cast PUNCH!
No. 785436 ID: 143250

Lets get an instant replay on that in slow motion!
No. 785457 ID: cf99d8

Red Foreman will be mighty disappointed if you don't use that considerable magic power to put some boots up some asses. Make him proud.
No. 787146 ID: e136ae
File 148945001999.jpg - (129.36KB , 640x720 , SK_DungoneCrawlStranner.jpg )

>And how could we forget the TechPriest Stranner, stalwart cleric who... ummm...

Stranner: What?


Stranner: It's not a bladed weapon.

>... OK.
No. 790847 ID: e136ae
File 149062562141.jpg - (163.37KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonCrawlFaerie.jpg )

>And finally, our bard Marie, the Sexy Science Faerie, whose mastery of the keytar and porno music allows her to alter the very tone of her surroundings!
No. 790848 ID: e136ae
File 149062567991.jpg - (270.75KB , 640x720 , NemDrawsHinMarker.jpg )

(Crudely NSFW)
No. 790849 ID: e136ae
File 149062571467.jpg - (173.41KB , 640x720 , NemDrawPorn1.jpg )

No. 790850 ID: e136ae
File 149062572732.jpg - (92.36KB , 640x720 , NemDrawPorn2.jpg )

No. 790851 ID: e136ae
File 149062588333.jpg - (116.98KB , 640x720 , NemDrawPorn3.jpg )

Nem: ... don't you dare judge me.
No. 790883 ID: 094652


Nem, get back to your date!
No. 790923 ID: 143250

Whoa, how did that get past the censors?
No. 790952 ID: 8cb228

Yea, totally! Did this get picked up by HBO or something?
No. 790953 ID: 1f8505


No. 790955 ID: 8cb228

Hey! Don't you dare kink shame her, Anon44!
No. 790956 ID: 3abd97

We're not judging you for drawing cutesy porn, but you're kinda distracting from the dungeon we're supposed to be running. Unless you want to make it a sexy dungeon.
No. 790974 ID: 8cb228

Are we doing that kind of roleplay? I thought everyone has to be on the same page for that kind of roleplay!
No. 794850 ID: e136ae
File 149184219806.jpg - (136.81KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_ChooseDM.jpg )

This is non-canon cross-over Nem; she can be in multiple places at once. Especially in Spike & Kitty's totally non-canon, inconsistent world.

>That's a good idea. Who do you want to be your DM?

1. Nem can be the DM. Although all she wants to do right now is drink wine and draw porn, she will be given the S&K's ETDC module but will add her own personal touches. It will also likely get really meta and the fourth wall becomes more like an open window.

2. Smik continues to be the DM. It will be less meta.
No. 794851 ID: 72ed6b

Nem draws, Smik joins the quest, because it's not a direct self-insert if you're drawing a character that's drawing you.
No. 794852 ID: 15a025

Have Nem be the DM.
No. 794917 ID: 3abd97

Smik you should know better than to mess with potions of smallness.

Option 1. The sourcebook might end up with pornographic illuminations, but that's a price we have to be willing to pay.
No. 794926 ID: 094652

I vote Nem, and can she use her Black Wolf head for that extra Sexy Evil Overlord look?
No. 794953 ID: e136ae
File 149188239522.jpg - (119.11KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_NemDM.jpg )


Nem: I didn't really want this.

>Drink your wine.

Nem: I will.

>YOU control SNOOGIE-BOO. SNOOGIE-BOO's class is ADVENTURE-MON TRAINER. It's very much like being a pokémon trainer, except with adventurers and you can't carry them around in small balls except for Mary the Sex Faerie and she only likes that in very specific, scientifically kinky scenarios.

You can SUGGEST ACTIONS to your allies Kitty, Spike, UnderStranner, Flycatcher and Mary, but each of them require a TRAINER BADGE before they have to follow your orders.

The exception to this rule is if they leave the table to do things like get snacks, drinks or go to the bathroom; while they are gone their characters will follow your orders without question.

You can safely leave the table at any time as SPIKE will protect you WITHOUT FAIL but without your guidance who knows what nonsense the party will get themselves into.

One set of RPG DICE for NERDS.
One bottle of a nice MERLOT (in Nem's possession).
One 2L Bottle of MOUNTAIN DEW.
One bag of CHEETOS.
One VEGETABLE PLATTER which only NEM and SPIKE are eating from.
One plate of SUSHI which KITTY is NOT sharing.
One bag of SALTED MIXED INSECTS which SPIKE and FLYCATCHER are sharing.
One small bottle of LUBE. Nobody knows why Mary has brought it with her, nobody wants to know why she's brought it with her.
One TINY NSFW SCIENTIFIC JOURNAL (in Mary's possession).


Longsword Of Poking (+1 Longsword)
Plate Mail
Snoogie-Boo Carrier
3 Throwing daggers.
Bag of chocolate gold coins.
Therapy Handbook for Very Large Scalie Crows.

Ginsu Katana.
23 Shuriken.
4 bottles of extremely flammable oil.
Bag of holding.
Briefcase of Legal Documents.

Staff of Spellcasting.
Black Dagger.
Book of "Smash Hits"

9011 Firearm which is totally not a bladed weapon and thus OK for clerics to use.
6 Clips.
Tech Priest Book of Prayers.

Keytar of Porn Music.
Scientific Journal.
Book of Porn Music.

You hold the party inventory when you acquire it, much like any other TRAINER. Do not ask where it is stored on your person.
No. 794958 ID: 143250

We're SNOOGIE-BOO? okay.

Eat all the items in the inventory!
No. 794959 ID: 8d4593

Call up Skull Girl real quick.
See if she wants in on this.
No. 794999 ID: e136ae
File 149191250568.jpg - (151.97KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonNemDM1.jpg )

Nem: The party arrives in... OK according to this, the Dungeon is like... it's a 5 star hotel and convention centre. You're in the lobby, the carpets are thick and plush and well maintained. There's a lovely skylight, and the air smells like a mixture of cooking food, fine tobacco, alcohol and incense.

Kitty: OOOoooh, this IS a trendy Dungeon. OK, THIS I can understand having a huge titan bouncer for. That also explains the bow tie and silk boxers.

Nem: In front of you is the registration desk. Standing behind the desk is a young woman with ... she's a demon? REALLY? THIS IS SO RACIST. Just because she's a pretty girl with horns to DIE for she's automatically some sort of agent for the netherworld? Let me see her character sheet...

>Nem angrily flips through the module. She calms down a bit after reading it, so perhaps the registrar has more to her than meets the eye.

Nem: ... OK so she sees you all approach and gives you a professional smile -- the kind that is pleasing to look at but also looks like the same kind of smile a typical merchant gives to any potential customer.

>Registrar: Welcome to the Twilight D. What name is your reservation under?
No. 795006 ID: e136ae
File 149191326994.jpg - (72.60KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonNem_ExcitedFaerie.jpg )

Mary, the Sexy Ass Science Faerie: I ROLL TO SEDUCE THE REGISTRAR!
No. 795008 ID: e136ae
File 149191404768.jpg - (91.28KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonIrritatedNemDM.jpg )

Nem: ... really?


Nem: ... Trainer, you wanna maybe try to reign in your party?

>1. YES
>2. NO
No. 795018 ID: b412df

(Ugh. As someone who's tried to DM before, players doing stuff like that is frustrating.)

Yes. Save your seduction for later, Mary. It'll lose it's impact if you try to use it on everyone you come across.

And role play a little, just saying I roll to do x without any supporting dialogue or description makes it a bit less fun.
No. 795021 ID: e136ae
File 149192246396.jpg - (94.19KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonSnoogieReason.jpg )

>Yes. Save your seduction for later, Mary. It'll lose it's impact if you try to use it on everyone you come across.
>And role play a little, just saying I roll to do x without any supporting dialogue or description makes it a bit less fun.
No. 795022 ID: e136ae
File 149192270753.jpg - (130.47KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonNemDM2.jpg )

Mary: I seductively play my mystic keytar, invoking only the most sultry, mood-setting pornographic music. Then I flutter close to her, and as I play, I stroke one end gently while rubbing the other across one leg. I teasingly start to spread my thighs and allow the keytar between them, caressing it with my flesh.

Then I get in real close.

Mary: I'm sorry, I just totally forgot what name I reserved our party under. Maybe there's something *else* we could do to make up for the inconvenience?
No. 795023 ID: e136ae
File 149192330875.jpg - (148.45KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_NemDM3.jpg )

Nem: ... uhhh... yes, nice role playing. She awkwardly explains that she would prefer a name.

Mary: Baby, why bother with names when we could learn what our bodies want to call each other?

Nem: Bard. It's not working. She needs a name.

Mary: Ever have a faerie ride your sweet young clit?

Nem stares at her in disbelief; Mary stares right back. Nem breaks eye contact and downs a glass of wine before looking around the table helplessly.

Kitty: Mary sweetheart, don't ERP without permission. It's cringey.

Mary: Can I roll to seduce...

Nem: NO. As DM I'm freaking over-riding this and siding with your trainer.

Spike: Doesn't Snoogie Boo need the Pornomancer Badge to do that?

Nem huffs, rattles some dice behind her screen. She smiles satisfied at the result -- a 7 -- and shows it to Mary.

Nem: It doesn't work in the slightest. Now you've made her cross. Maybe you should listen to your Trainer next time.

Mary: He doesn't have the badge yet.

Nem: Dammit, Spike.
No. 795024 ID: e136ae
File 149192410059.jpg - (164.33KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonNemDM4.jpg )

Spike: While she is distracted I steal all her mints from the desk.

Nem: WHAT MINTS? I didn't say anything about...

>Nem checks her module.

Nem: Huh.
No. 795025 ID: e136ae
File 149192473735.jpg - (134.49KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_NemDM5.jpg )

Spike: I WILL USE THE MINTS TO CURE ALL BAD BREATH IN THE DUNGEON! Starting with the party. Everyone take a mint.

Nem: What the f...

Kitty: Sweetie, I stopped asking questions as far as Spike is concerned a long time ago.
No. 795027 ID: e136ae
File 149192615008.jpg - (104.59KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_KittyIdea1.jpg )

Kitty: ... and while we're on the charming subject of my partner in chaos, I suggest we let Spike give her a name. I'm sure by some stupid coincidence it will be on the list with comedic consequences to follow much later as a sort of lame call-back gag. It's at least a more stealthy way to enter over Stranner pulling out his 9011 and us demanding she take us to the loot.

>Go with Kitty's idea, have Spike give the registrar a name.
>Tell Stranner to pull out his 9011 and threaten the registrar to taking you to the loot.
>Something else: ___________
No. 795044 ID: 094652

"Thomas Edison."
No. 795112 ID: a363ac

name : 44anons
No. 795113 ID: 15a025

Have Spike give the name
No. 795542 ID: e136ae
File 149211108653.jpg - (119.57KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_SpikeAnswer.jpg )


>Snoogie-Boo tells Spike to give the registrar a name.


Registrar: Sir, I know for a fact that Deem is both female and not furry. I frankly find your attempt to...
No. 795543 ID: e136ae
File 149211111186.jpg - (116.31KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_SpikeAnswer2.jpg )

Spike: Ya wanna an excuse for Hin to show up at some point or not?
No. 795544 ID: e136ae
File 149211114032.jpg - (133.79KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_SpikeAnswer3.jpg )

Snoogie-Boo: Alternatively we could say "Thomas Edison" or "44anons".
No. 795546 ID: e136ae
File 149211230768.jpg - (125.32KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_SpikeAnswer4.jpg )

>Registrar: Oh dear, I have clearly FAILED A BASIC INTELLIGENCE CHECK and you MUST BE NEW RECRUITS OF DEEM. Here is your ROOM KEY, You are in suite WEST 438 4F. ENJOY THE DUNGEONEER CONVENTION. Be aware that we also have an ADVENTURER CONVENTION on the EAST SIDE and we respectfully ask that neither side attempt to crash each other's convention activities or you WILL BE EJECTED FROM THE TWILIGHT D.

Kitty: Do you have any problems with rogue adventurer parties getting past your bouncer?

>Registrar: ORCUS is a LEVEL 50 TITAN. He's was a freaking GOD OF THE UNDERWORLD, PUNISHER OF BROKEN OATHS, used as a basis for the ORKS. If the Roman empire hadn't collapsed and put their gods out of work we wouldn't have lucked out to grab him as our gatekeeper! The only adventuring parties that get past him are the ones we WANT to get past him, and they're on an exclusive list!

Kitty: Anyone ever sneak into his pants and threaten to cut his balls off?

>Registrar: I'd like to meet the ninja who could pull that off OH LOOK I HAVE FAILED MY INTELLIGENCE CHECK AGAIN. Do you have any other questions? PLEASE NOTE WE HAVE A HOUSE POLICY OF ONLY ANSWERING 3 QUESTIONS STARTING NOW.

Kitty immediately covers Spike's mouth.
No. 795891 ID: a363ac

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood?
No. 795903 ID: b8a03f

>Failed 2 Intelligence Checks
Let's go for three. "What is currently in that easily-missed janitor's closet?" And when she goes to check whack her unconscious and steal the keys.
No. 795963 ID: 3abd97

How many int checks do you have to fail before you forget you didn't agree to sleep with the porn fairy?
No. 798126 ID: e136ae
File 149322998044.gif - (99.09KB , 498x560 , SK_Dungeon_SnoogieBrows.gif )

>How many int checks do you have to fail before you forget you didn't agree to sleep with the porn fairy?
No. 798250 ID: 67d5dc

Damnit, we need more hands!
No. 799978 ID: e136ae
File 149409213818.jpg - (91.28KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_NemVsSnoogie1.jpg )

>How many int checks do you have to fail before you forget you didn't agree to sleep with the porn fairy?
No. 799979 ID: e136ae
File 149409215174.gif - (73.88KB , 498x560 , SK_Dungeon_NemVsSnoogie.gif )

No. 799980 ID: e136ae
File 149409229078.jpg - (86.14KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_NemVsSnoogie3.jpg )

No. 800175 ID: 15a025

Ask how they managed to snag such a high level guard?
No. 801329 ID: e136ae

>"If the Roman empire hadn't collapsed and put their gods out of work we wouldn't have lucked out to grab him as our gatekeeper!"

He was out of work at the time.
No. 807914 ID: e136ae
File 149747731022.jpg - (146.35KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungone_NemDoesntEven.jpg )

>How many int checks do you have to fail before you forget you didn't agree to sleep with the porn fairy?


Nem flails her arms about in frustration.

Nem: FINE! FINE! FUCK IT! Yeah, sure grabs your bard and just SHOVES HER UP HER WOUND are you HAPPY NOW?!

Spike: Wound?

Nem: LADY PARTS! It's slang for LADY PARTS from where I'm from!

Spike: Lady parts?


Spike: Vagina?

Kitty: God dammit, Spike.

Mary the Sex Science Faerie: Oooo yeah, SCORE! TIME TO GO SPELUNKING! I'm gonna get myself ALL. JUICED. UP.

Kitty: God dammit, Mary.
No. 807915 ID: 3abd97

Mary the Sex fairy has left the party. (Roll to not be smothered or crushed).

I guess that leaves the others with an unattended front desk to rifle through and/or rob.
No. 807918 ID: e136ae
File 149747916438.jpg - (164.15KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_DammitMary.jpg )

>Mary the Sex fairy has left the party. (Roll to not be smothered or crushed).
Mary: Ha-ha no, I've done this before. It's not a problem.

Mary: So tell me Dungeon Master, is she juicy? Am I going to have to do a feat of Breath Holding? Like I have my own specialized Muff Diving skill and everything. As well as "Detect G-Spot". 'Cause I am gonna HIT that spot, y'know what I'm saying? I'm gonna turn that cooch into a WATER SLIDE. Get myself all nice and slick, then I'm gonna ride her clit. Speaking of which, how big is it? Is it firm? I mean, there's clit rides and then there's CLIT RIDES.
No. 807921 ID: 0d45a9

Goddammit, Mary. This sounds like a pre-written module, so all that information is not available and has to be ad-libbed by the DM, who from that outburst clearly doesn't want to do so.

Basically, stop trying to derail the game into ERP Mary. Cut. It. Out.
No. 807924 ID: 600f38

Damnit, Mary, don't be That Guy.
Recruit her as a follower and lets get on with the crawl.
No. 807962 ID: a363ac

smack Mary the Sex fairy out of the party before a random god decides to smite the party.
No. 807988 ID: 094652

You know what? Just make an ass-pull about Mary's character merging with the Registrar's womb, Attack On Titan style, and now Mary loses control of her character and has to play as the Registrar for the time being.
No. 807993 ID: e136ae

Nice idea but you realize then you'd just have a full sized nymphomaniac instead, right?
No. 808789 ID: c3ed0a

I am actually ok with this... but I see your point. Let's leave her and go exploring!
No. 820964 ID: e136ae
File 150214162436.jpg - (165.77KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungone_MaryResolution1.jpg )

Registrar: Ah-ah-ahhhhhactually the clit ride is ah-ah-ahhh!ctually pretty amazing!

Nem wonders how she manged to lose control so badly.

Kitty: Yeah, actually let's go just take our key and go to our room before this gets more cringe-worthy.

Registrar: Ah-ah-ahye insist you take your friend.

Kitty: She's more like an acquaintance, sweetie. A tag-along. An... obligation. But all right.

Registrar: Ah-ah-ahhhfter she's finished?

Kitty: ...

Kitty: ...

Kitty: ... FINE.
No. 820978 ID: 3abd97

Go check out your room, and leave the pet / fairy door unlatched. Or if there isn't one, just leave it cracked.
No. 821034 ID: 600f38

Just have her acquire the Registrar as a Minion. She CLEARLY has the charisma for it, and then we can move on.
Plus, we can gloss over the sex by saying "Ok, you spend 30 minutes training your minion" the same way we gloss over travel.
No. 821040 ID: a363ac

wait for the Sex Fairy to finish then use Mystical God Bag that was clearly given to us at the start of the quest *wink wink nudge nudge at Nem* that only works at the god called THE MASTER's will and pull out a fairy sized CHASTITY BELT and equip it to MARIE
No. 824158 ID: e136ae
File 150337688195.jpg - (133.27KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungone_OutsideDeemDoor1.jpg )

They party waits patiently for Mary to finish the Registrar. It's awkward and Spike makes it worse by just sitting and staring at them intently without any readable emotion. Kitty eventually drags him away.

Afterwards, you take the key and follow her directions to Deem's luxury multi-bedroom suite.

Kitty: Well here we are, standing outside Deem's deluxe multi-bedroom suite. I suppose it would be polite to knock.

Author Note: This is a multi-illustration update.
No. 824166 ID: e136ae
File 150337767167.jpg - (213.91KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungone_OutsideDeemDoor2.jpg )

Spike: We should totally barge in.

Kitty: Of course you'd say that. I would suggest if we don't knock we should *sneak* in since we're not really invited but I'm not gonna trust you to do that. Stranner?
No. 824177 ID: e136ae
File 150337902632.jpg - (205.54KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungone_OutsideDeemDoor3.jpg )

Stranner: We should definitely knock, we have no reason to be rude yet.

Kitty: What do you think, Flycatcher?
No. 824185 ID: e136ae
File 150337975537.jpg - (269.36KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungone_OutsideDeemDoor4.jpg )

Flycatcher: I'm finding it weird that my actions aren't being dictated by a hive mind.

Kitty: Well, then the majority says that...

Mary: You didn't ask me.
No. 824187 ID: e136ae
File 150338019405.jpg - (193.39KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungone_OutsideDeemDoor5.jpg )

Kitty: I'm not going to ask you, sweetheart. I know what you're going to say.

Mary: It's not a majority unless you ask me.

Kitty: Your vote doesn't count.

Spike: Why doesn't her vote count?

Kitty: Because she's a slut and she smells like vagina.

Spike: That doesn't....

Kitty: ... and I KNOW she's going to agree with you to just barge in, in the hopes of catching something lewd.

Mary: So it's tied.

Kitty: Fuck.

It's up you YOU as the voice of SNOOGIE-BOO and technical party leader to BREAK THE TIE! Or suggest something else. But most of the party wants to see what's up with Deem's place.
No. 824189 ID: a363ac

No. 824190 ID: c2051e

Respect her privacy by knocking but assert your authority by breaking in anyway.
No. 824303 ID: d36af7

Knock on the door and politely ask if she's ever considered the value of a really good set of encyclopedias.
No. 824329 ID: 094652

Pick the lock for exp. THEN "knock".
No. 825174 ID: e136ae
File 150372950510.jpg - (182.77KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_Knock.jpg )


So many suggestions for wanton destruction overpower what precious little sensibility Spike has.

He knocks on the door.

He knocks very hard.

Without a doubt by the third knock any occupants understand that someone wishes to come in.
No. 825175 ID: 094652

And now sing "The Rape Song!"

Without actual raping.
No. 825176 ID: e136ae
File 150373117665.jpg - (183.44KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_Deem1.jpg )

Hin's long, strong horns have been recently polished and they gleem in the soft light. Deem trembles slightly, unable to fully comprehend the sensations that burn across her body as Hin caresses her face and moves in close for a soft, sensual...

...moment that is interrupted with a crash and a startled gasp.
No. 825177 ID: e136ae
File 150373159908.jpg - (120.34KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_NemDM6.jpg )

Nem: OH. MY. GOD.

Kitty: Something you'd like to share with the class, sweetheart?


Nem scrambles to put a number of sheets of paper aside.

Kitty: Nem, sweetie... you wouldn't happen to dabble in slash fiction, would you?

Nem opens her mouth to speak but she's at a loss for words. It's evident that she's desperately trying think of some sort of excuse. Kitty gives her a knowing look.
No. 825178 ID: c2051e

Wow, geez, Nem, I can't believe you could just up and write something as disrespectful as that about two perfect strangers. It's really shocking. For shame.

Hin files off her horns, it's an important hangup of hers. Then again, I suppose she's supposed to be hornier than usual in the story, so feel free to continue. Pretty good work so far, but you might want to try and establish the setting a bit more in the beginning. How their pulses and breaths come quicker, what Hin decorated the room with to get the mood right, that sort of thing. Overall it seems like a solid start, would keep reading.
No. 825179 ID: 91ee5f

*is taking a sip of tea*
*reads this: >>825176 *
*spits out tea in a comical fashion*
No. 825181 ID: e136ae
File 150373352912.jpg - (93.63KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_NemMortified.jpg )

Nem: don't judge me.

Mary: I judge it fuck'n AWESOME! All right! So now we take our clothes off and get FUNKY!


Kitty: Called it.

Nem: Don't judge me!

Kitty: Look Nem, I'm not judging. But what we ARE going to have to do is figure out exactly how much of this is going down right now. Not to play lawyer -- which I am -- but you DID get the number on the room wrong.

Nem: What?

Kitty: We were told WEST 438 4F. The door was clearly marked 104 before Spike punched it in. Now, I don't know why...

Nem: Shit, I should have spotted that.

Kitty: It's OK, it's not like this quest updates at light speed...

Nem: No, I mean... it's... the room they use in my slash fiction...

Kitty: Well... my point is, we COULD have entered the wrong room by mistake. It's not hard, Spike's with us. We can blame him.

Spike: I'll punch ALL THE DOORS if you want me to!

Kitty: God dammit Spike -- OK, so we can say we went into the wrong room, we back out real quick and then we just go to West 438.

Mary: FUCK NO! I wanna hear what kinda freaky shit Nem's into!

Nem shakes her head from behind her blinder.

Mary: Thought North Gaelish were OK and open with sex!

Nem: You're being racist.

Clearly the final decision falls to YOU because this is a quest after all!

1. It's too late -- this is quest canon now.
2. Sure, it's just a mistake and the party quickly moves on to West 438.
3. Something else?
No. 825182 ID: 91ee5f

2. Sure, it's just a mistake and the party quickly moves on to West 438.
No. 825185 ID: 094652

The entire building is turned 180 degrees on its head there that's something
No. 825217 ID: d36af7


Mary, if you're so gung-ho for sex research, go find the real Hin and ask how she feels about all this. Or whether she's even into girls at all, given https://tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/res/80766.html#85341
No. 825222 ID: 8cb228

No. 825225 ID: 3abd97

Look, whether or not we burst into the wrong room, we very rudely interrupted a dungeon and her blacksmith who are probably understandably rather unhappy with us right now. (Or some other people who superficially resemble them and are into costumed role-playing, whatever).

Someone better roll for diplomacy quick or we're probably looking at a fight. And Deem's not currently doing the dungeon thing, which means she doesn't need to play fair or sandbag to give the adventurers a good experience!
No. 825231 ID: e136ae
File 150377259602.jpg - (89.13KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_NemDefendsHerSlashFic.jpg )

Nem: Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!! It's MY fantasy fiction! I'm almost 19 years old and I've never been properly KISSED, I need SOME KIND OF OUTLET! Bisexuality is totally normal so just... just.... FUCK OFF!

Kitty: Calm down, sweetie.

Nem: Don't tell me to calm down, I'm your fucking Dungeon Master!

Kitty: I'm not judging you.

Nem: DAMN RIGHT! Someone get me another bottle of wine, I think I'm gonna need it.
No. 825232 ID: a363ac

Mary your job is now give Nem THE KISS.
No. 825239 ID: e136ae
File 150377592804.jpg - (76.53KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_NemDefendsHerSlashFic2.jpg )

Nem: MARY?! NO. Hell no. We both know where she's been and GOD KNOWS where else. No.
No. 825240 ID: 91ee5f

>I'm almost 19 years old
>Someone get me another bottle of wine
Aren't you underaged for that sorta thing, little miss 18 years old?
No. 825241 ID: a363ac

alight fine then ONWARD TO FINAL VICTORY!
No. 825244 ID: 3abd97

>where she's been
Hey, they was in-character. We can at least hope the real Mary is physically cleaner.

Standards acknowledged, though. Dunk the sex-fairy in the kitchen sink to cool down if she gets too randy.

She's from a fantasy setting, minimum age for drinking's gotta be lower, if it exists at all.
No. 825375 ID: 600f38

Kitty, then.

And yeah, that happened. It's canon.
So quietly back out of the room and go to the right door.
No. 825646 ID: c3ed0a

Nem is an adult in a world where alcohol is not age gated at 21 (which is also most of our world).

That said, fuck off with your non relevant comments.

2. Let's get this story moving. I'm sure there will be someone to sex behind door number 2 anyway.
No. 832147 ID: 2474dd
File 150609770952.jpg - (184.43KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_Knock2.jpg )

Spike hurries off to the correct door this time with you (as Snoogie-Boo) tucked under his arm and doesn't even wait for suggestions to knock-knock-crash it. The rest of the party arrives just as the splinters finish falling.
No. 832148 ID: 2474dd
File 150609773091.jpg - (104.98KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_DeemSuiteForReals1.jpg )

Well. This is awkward.
No. 832153 ID: 3d2d5f

Recursion time.

Invite yourselves to their game!
No. 832154 ID: 8b2654

Yes! Join their game! You need the experience!
No. 832165 ID: a363ac

Where are the hot lesbians at!?
No. 832276 ID: 094652

We're not doing nesting, just shout "ROCKS FALL, EVERY-GOLEM GETS @#$%ED WITH 'EM" and roll for initiative!
No. 849971 ID: 2474dd

Just to note this quest isn't done by a long-shot, but I want to finish Spooky Date first; it was originally just supposed to be a Halloweenish quest but I guess I shouldn't be surprised it's run long.
No. 863665 ID: 2474dd
File 151745232211.jpg - (117.24KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_Intermission.jpg )

Nem suddenly interrupts the session.

Nem: Guys? Deem is transitioning. This isn't an appropriate time for cross-over shenanigans.

Spike: Awwww.

Stranger: Do you realize what "transitioning" means?

Nem: Also do you mind if I ask you to... maybe step outside and find something else to do? I can't really DM for you right now.

Kitty: What's up, sweetie?

Nem: I might also be transitioning right now.

Stranger: Seriously, do you know what "transitioning" means?

Nem: ... changing from one form to another?

Stranger: It's also a term for the process of changing gender.

Nem pauses for a moment.

Nem: Well, in this particular usage I mean significant events are occurring right now. Deem is changing shape. Hin is changing shape. There's a lot of significant changes going on right now in her quest, this isn't a good time to barge in and do... whatever terribly inconvenient and improbably thing Spike was going to do.

Kitty: Thought you weren't on an active quest right now, sweetie. What serious changes are going on with you?

Nem: ...
No. 863667 ID: 2474dd
File 151745283345.jpg - (119.34KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_IntermissionA.jpg )

Nem: ... maybe? My first real kiss?

Kitty raises an eyebrow.

Kitty: Wait wait wait wait, HOW are you gonna get your first kiss while you're sitting here?

Nem: Sideways memory! It could happen!

Mary: Just first base?

Nem: maybe more

Kitty grabs Mary roughly by her legs.

Kitty: C'mon you perverted micro-nymph, let's give the girl her private space. We'll go raid some other trendy dungeon!

Spike picks up Snoogie-Boo.

Spike: So do we wait for Spooky Date Quest to finish or what?
No. 863703 ID: 2474dd
File 151745931577.jpg - (173.26KB , 640x720 , SK_Dungeon_Choice.jpg )

Kitty: Let's just give Nem some room for now.

The group leaves Nem alone. You find you are now standing outside a tavern called the "A Tavern".

Kitty turns to talk to you; Spike holds you up so you can see eye-to-eye.

Kitty: OK Snoogie, basically Nem & Deem are under construction so we're going to have to look elsewhere for some dungeon crawling. Since you're technically still in charge you're going to have to pick our dungeon crawl instead.

Kitty digs out her smart phone and checks for "Dungeons Near Me".

Kitty: Well there appears to be three dungeons near us.

One is "The Carnival of Doom", which is apparently a new dungeon built on the site of a short-lived Halloween themed [strikeout]thread[/strikeout] dungeon. It's really more like a murderous theme park than a dungeon. Still, it's got treasure even if it's not all that trendy.

Then there's the classic "Forest of Doom" which is technically not really a dungeon but in terms of adventuring the thick woods, dangerous creatures and variety of weirdness makes it functionally the same as a dungeon.

Finally, there's "Baba Yaga's Dancing Hut of Doom", which is a very trendy dungeon.

Where do you want to go?

1. The Carnival of Doom
2. The Forest of Doom
3. Baba Yaga's Dancing Hut of Doom
No. 863838 ID: 3abd97

Let's go the forest.
No. 863848 ID: 2fe26a

Why don't we just go to DOOM?
No. 863851 ID: 772fe4

yes, the forbidden 5th episode "thy cum consumed"
No. 863857 ID: a72923

Carnival. Everyone loves a carnival.
No. 864952 ID: 2474dd
File 151789434987.jpg - (134.74KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonChoice2.jpg )

Kitty: Would you make up your damn mind? And we can't go to DOOM. And we're DEFINITELY not going to H-DOOM.
No. 864988 ID: 094652

Great idea, glad you thought of it! Succubus vacation resort HOOO!
No. 865013 ID: 3abd97

Well now we're going to H-DOOM for sure.

Whatever that is.
No. 865117 ID: a363ac

H-doom time
No. 865118 ID: c3ed0a

I vote for the Carnival of Doom. There may be games.
No. 865402 ID: 2474dd
File 151797990880.jpg - (155.39KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonChoice3.jpg )


Kitty rips you from Spike's hands and begins to shake you roughly.

Kitty: WE ARE NOT GOING TO THE GOD-DAMNED H-DOOM!! Unlike most of us, Stranner is a REAL God-damned person and it is ENTIRELY TOO CREEPY to bring him to some perverted video game!
No. 865403 ID: 2474dd
File 151797992906.jpg - (97.58KB , 640x720 , SK_DUngeonChoice4.jpg )

Spike grabs you back and hugs you.

No. 865411 ID: 2474dd
File 151798214604.jpg - (142.74KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonChoice5.jpg )

Kitty: He is not the baby.

Spike: He's the baby!

Kitty: He's NOT THE BABY!

Spike: He is my baby and I named him SNOOGIE!

Kitty: He's NOT YOUR BABY, you don't even have a vagina! He's just some ass-pull player-voice substitute!!

Spike: He is my baby because I pulled him out of my butt. It's like a boy-vagina.


Spike: Ssssh you're gonna wake the baby!

Kitty: God dammit, Spike.

You mutter something about going to the carnival from beneath Spike's grasp.

Kitty: Ugh, finally.

Mary: I would be down for H-Doom.

Kitty: God dammit, Mary.
No. 865419 ID: 094652

>Stranner is a REAL God-damned person
wait what

Fine I vote for the Forest of D00M
No. 865423 ID: 2474dd

Author note: Stranner is actually part of the TGChan community. My mental image is that he is the science lab version of the Undertaker, from conversations on IRC. So for a laugh, Spike & Kitty raided his lab and messed it up and killed his boss. Flycatcher is from Frog Quest, but his "Battle Toads" build is from a Beach Day gag. So yeah, Spike & Kitty aren't going anywhere too pornographic.
No. 865426 ID: 2474dd
File 151798805183.jpg - (284.20KB , 640x720 , SK_DungeonDecision.jpg )

** Splitting the vote again? Fine. FINE. **

Welcome to SPIKE & KITTY'S Dungeon Crawl:
The Abandoned Carnival Forest of Doom!

Kitty: That wasn't even an option.

Spike: Wanna go to H-DOOM instead?

Kitty: ABANDONED CARNIVALS and FOREST DOOM, two great things that are even BETTER TOGETHER! Let's go guys.
No. 865436 ID: 2474dd
File 151799130877.jpg - (150.17KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom1.jpg )

As the group approaches the ABANDONED CARNIVAL OF DOOM, they hear a crash and a thud. They turn and see EXPOSITION!

Spike: We get an actual PLOT for this?!

The dwarf has some darts embedded in his belly.

Kitty: Does anyone have any kind of medical training?

UnderStranner: I only bring machines back from the dead.


Kitty: Wut.

The dwarf convulses.

Mary: He's got my attention.

Dwarf: The... the bra and panties... the Enchanted Bra and Panties of Stonebridge... I'll get them for you my king! Ol' Bigleg will do it!

He falls unconscious for a moment but then bolts upright and screams "AMBUSH!"

Flycatcher: Explains the darts. Must be poisoned.

Spike: I'll do CPR!

The dwarf sits upright and holds out his hands.

Bigleg: FUCK NO. I've heard things 'bout you, walleyes.

He falls back down again.

Bigleg: Strangers... please... fulfill a dying dwarf's final wishes. F-find the mystic bra and panties of Stonebridge. Take them to my king at the other side of... the Abandoned Carnival Forest of Doom. Only they will rally our people and repel the Panty-Trolls that threaten our kingdom...

Kitty: Is this still even a trendy dungeon crawl?

Bigleg: ... the mystic bra and panties were stolen by Go-Go Goblins... so they could win... the foxy boxy... contest...

Kitty: This doesn't seem terribly trendy. More like 'trashy'.

Bigleg: ... my king will reward you well... for their return...

Kitty: I guess I don't care.

Bigleg: ... take my gold...

Kitty: NOW this quest is getting somewhere...

Bigleg: ... see Yaztromo, Master Mage... you'll need his help... save... the dwarves ... save...

Bigleg passes away. Kitty loots the body and obtains 30 gold pieces which may or may not be foil wrapped around chocolate. Spike digs him a grave in the parking lot. By "dig" it's more "rips up a large chuck of the lot, puts Bigleg in the hole and drops the chuck back on him".

Then the group approaches the ACFoD. The entrance has already been badly damaged and even though there's no need to, Spike punches through the wall, unlocks the door from inside and opens the gates. Kitty just shakes her head.

The party finds that the Admissions Building just on the inside is still in pristine condition, with a neon sign that says "Yaztromo, Master Mage, Magick Salesman and Plastic Surgeon"

Kitty holds Spike back before he does something stupid and politely knocks on the door. A slot opens.

"Yes?" asks a grumpy voice.

Kitty: Hi, we're a group of adventurers looking to buy magic so we can do a quest? A dwarf named Bigleg sent us?

"Oh, well if you're here to shop you'd better come up then,"
No. 865442 ID: 2474dd
File 151799382545.jpg - (106.78KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom2.jpg )

A man wearing a wide brimmed hat and some sort of metallic, bird-like mask greets you. He is wrapped in a wide, shiny cloak.

Yaztromo: I am Yaztromo.

Spike: You look like Boris Deathlaser.

Yaztromo: You shut up.

Bor... Yaztromo takes the party into the admissions office where he stands behind a counter. After punching some buttons on his register, a list of magic items for sale appears.

Kitty: Is it all right if we pay with gold coins which may actually be chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil?

Yaztromo: I am totally OK with either.

Here is what Yaztromo is selling. The party will buy EVERYTHING YOU SUGGEST until their money runs out, in order of request. Nothing will be bought more than once as it would be a waste.

List of magick to buy:

Portion of Healing (3 gold)
Potion of Plant Control (2 gold)
Potion of Stillness (3 gold)
Potion of Insect Control (2 gold)
Potion of anti-poison (2 gold)
Holy Water (3 gold)
Ring of Disco (3 gold)
Rug of Leaping (2 gold)
Rope of Climbing (3 gold)
Net of Entanglement (3 gold)
Armband of Strength (3 gold)
Gloves of Missile Dexterity (2 gold)
Rod of Water-Finding (2 gold)
Super Garlic Buds (2 gold)
Headband of Concentration (3 gold)
Fire Capsules (3 gold)
Portable Filtration System (3 gold)

He explains that each magic item comes with a set of instructions and will only work once. Out of curiosity, he asks why you're buying gear to crawl the Abandoned Carnival Forest of Doom, considering that a lot of the rides are jammed up by evil trees and the drinks are really over-priced.

Kitty explains -- while covering the mouths of Spike & Mary -- of Bigleg's fate and the party's decision to take up his task.

Yaztromo taps his metallic beak thoughtfully.

Yaztromo: Ah yes, the good panty-loving dwarfs of Stonebridge and their fabled mystic bra and panties. Without them, the King will not be able to arouse his people to action despite the threat of the panty-trolls on their borders. Rumour has it that a rival king is the real one behind the theft, having sponsored the foxy boxing contest which he knew would drive the denizens of Doom to steal the fabled undergarments. Apparently the theft was carried out by two Go-Go Goblins who split the garments between them -- one wearing the bra, the other the panties. They defeated all their rivals in the contest but could not best each other, so the contest ended in a draw with them splitting the spoils and going their separate ways. So I'm afraid your problems are doubled. Both garments are embroidered with the letter G. Good luck!

After you make your purchases...

The party leaves the Admissions Office and into the main part of the abandoned carnival. Old rides are rusted to the spot and overgrown with evil-looking gnarled trees, sickly fungus, and foul-smelling rot. The cracked concrete that would have formed the carnival's floor has been mostly retaken by the Forest of Doom until only a path of gravel and bits of slab remains. It was probably expensive to renovate the old carnival grounds with an evil forest, and the special lichen they're using literally doesn't grow on trees.

UnderStranner: So this is some sort of club?

Flycatcher: No, it's a dungeon.

UnderStranner: I thought the gag was that it was like a club.

Flycatcher: But it still has to be a dungeon.

Kitty: I'm more surprised there was no cover charge or bouncer.

Spike: I bet Boris handles both! The magic shop replaces the cover charge and he turns anyone who causes trouble into a talking animal who then has to give directions, or run some of the lesser attractions or sell junk until they pay off the debt!

The party hasn't traveled far before the path splits.

Which path do you take?
No. 865447 ID: 094652

2X Armbands of Strength for Spike and Flycatcher - seven whole initial points invested into strength can be replaced by one measly armband! Thanks, lack-of-diminishing returns synergy equipment!

1X gloves of missile dexterity for Stranner because OBVIOUSLY.

3X headbands of concentration for Kitty, Mary, and Flycatcher so they can focus despite the high-stress environment. More magic output for Mary and Flycatcher, and Kitty gets a boost to her skills.

Dousing Rod and Water Filter for rations

Rug of Jumping and Rope of Climbing for any heavy treasure we find in high places

And a control plant potion to control plant-based monsters.
No. 865516 ID: 2474dd
File 151802819151.jpg - (101.89KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom2a.jpg )

> Nothing will be bought more than once as it would be a waste.

Kitty: Goddammit, Kome! Pay attention, we're not going to be buying more than one of ANYTHING because it's a less-than-subtle hint that we won't need it more than once. Also he just said they only WORK ONCE, so they're for solving puzzles and taking short-cuts. READ. Those words are there for a reason!

Purchases made:
- Armband of Strength
- Glove of Missile Dexterity
- Headband of Concentration
- Rod of Water-Finding
- Portable Filtration System (it's for air, this wasn't clarified but it's for air. You won't need a water filter system)
- Rug of Leaping
- Rope of Climbing

You have 12 Gold remaining.

Votes for direction still required.
No. 865518 ID: c2051e

3. H-Weast
No. 865523 ID: 13cc26

West? West.
No. 865552 ID: 3abd97

>You have 12 Gold remaining.
Can we blow the rest of our gold on stuff?

>Potion of Stillness (3 gold)
>Potion of Plant Control (2 gold)
>Potion of Insect Control (2 gold)
>Ring of Disco (3 gold)
>Super Garlic Buds (2 gold)

I mean really, how can we not buy a ring of disco.

>Votes for direction still required.
Let's go east.
No. 866846 ID: c3ed0a

Go west. Life is peaceful there.
No. 866852 ID: 45aab1

Wait! Ask how much for the plastic surgery!
No. 875795 ID: 2474dd
File 152231150926.jpg - (247.68KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom3.jpg )

The party goes West after purchasing the last of the crap from the shop.

The path is overgrown and crowded with the rotting remains of carnival stands in the spots where it's not taken over by the proud, dark trees. Strange animal cries echo through the cracks in the fences and seem to rustle the leaves.

Before long, they arrive at another junction.

Resting comfortably although without dignity in Spike's Snoogie-carrier, it's up to you to direct the group to either continue WEST or turn NORTH.

What do you suggest?

1. Continue West
2. Turn North
3. Something else? (be specific)
No. 875801 ID: 074011

3. Eat the police-box.
No. 875876 ID: 094652

Spongebob battle howl at the vines. And whatever's on the other side of the fence.
No. 875918 ID: 3abd97

Go check if anyone is hiding inside that phantom tollbooth.
No. 875965 ID: 2474dd
File 152238904695.jpg - (226.53KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom4.jpg )

It's actually a moldy old popcorn stand. Not that it would stop Spike from doing something stupid just because you asked him to.

Kitty: SPIKE! Don't do it Spike....
No. 875966 ID: 2474dd
File 152238907186.jpg - (226.21KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom4a.jpg )

Spike considers it.

Kitty: ... SPIKE...
No. 875967 ID: 2474dd
File 152238911858.jpg - (229.60KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom4b.jpg )


No. 875968 ID: 2474dd
File 152238934902.jpg - (545.61KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom5.jpg )

What could be in the broken down, moldy popcorn stand?

Why... moldy old popcorn!

Really old popcorn.

Really bloated, moldy old popcorn.



Please suggest a character to act:

A. Spike
B. Kitty
C. Flycatcher
D. Mary
E. Stranner
No. 875970 ID: 074011

Kitty, most judicious and cunning companion, please clean up our mess while we search for loot.
No. 876118 ID: 3abd97

I mean those are pretty short zombies right? With a flier, two cats, and a frog, getting above where they can reach seems pretty easy.

Of course that leaves Stranger out.
No. 876208 ID: a363ac

No. 876226 ID: 486e87

E. Stranner is a cleric, so turn undead, except with bullets involved.
No. 877214 ID: c3ed0a

I kind of want to see how Mary would deal with this, so she gets my vote.
No. 880569 ID: 2474dd
File 152463291461.png - (137.72KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom5c.png )

Kitty will act first.
No. 880570 ID: 2474dd
File 152463294067.gif - (73.09KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom6a.gif )

Kitty attacks with NINJA LIGHTNING STRIKE!
No. 880574 ID: 2474dd
File 152463302234.jpg - (344.11KB , 640x720 , pop.jpg )

No. 880579 ID: 2474dd
File 152463324824.jpg - (258.28KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom7.jpg )

Kitty: OK so now they're zombie popcorn. Don't know if they're still dangerous but they're definitely surprised, light, and fluffy.

Continue to fight or ignore them and move on?

1. Continue West
2. Turn North
3. Continue to fight (Stranner is the default due to votes; or you may select a different character)
4. Something else?
No. 880585 ID: 094652

Use the popmins as bait. Make a spike trap.

Should kill a few roamers.
No. 880702 ID: 3abd97

Too bad eating zombie popcorn is probably bad for you.

>1. Continue West
No. 881441 ID: 2474dd
File 152498202744.jpg - (193.31KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom8.jpg )

The party continues west.

A short distance down the path the party finds the path turns North. However a short distance off the path from within what appears to be an overgrown gift shop there is a cry for help. The voice is feminine and cockney British.

What does the party do?

A. Investigate the cry for help.
B. Ignore it and continue down the path North.
No. 881448 ID: 600f38

No. 881451 ID: 094652

A, but get into stealth first. Find out if it's a trap.
No. 881461 ID: 074011

"Marie! Noone else can match your pace. That poor lonely desperate maiden needs someone right now! Go to her! We'll be right behind you..."
No. 881515 ID: 3abd97

No. 889314 ID: 2474dd
File 152936392431.jpg - (157.21KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom9.jpg )

You decide that the party will investigate but that Mary will go first.

She flutters down a short ways off the path and around some fences.

Mary: It's some bun with big titties trapped in a dunk tank! She's dressed like a slutty ninja!

The party follows her, and as you come across the remnants of a walkway they find exactly what Mary described -- a bunny woman with large breasts, stuck with some sort of snap-trap on one of her legs inside a sort of glass enclosure, suspended above what you assume is water, with a target in front. A dunk tank.

Mary: I bet it's some sort of wet T-Shirt dunk tank combination!

Bun: Fuck that you dumb cunt, get me out of here!

What does the party do?

A. Help the bun.
B. Leave the bun.
C. Dunk the bun.
D. Something else the bun?
No. 889315 ID: 891b91

>Fuck that you dumb cunt
I vote C. This bun is rude and therefore must be dunked.
No. 889316 ID: 4f1cbc

D: Ask the bun how she got in there.

A. Help the bun.
No. 889337 ID: 977456

B+: Inform Mary that this is, indeed, a wet-shirt competition, and that she should find a video recorder and some dance-music. And a trampoline.
Then run away quickly while Mary is distracted. Pray that leaving the bun alone with Mary doesn't greatly affect our karma.
No. 889346 ID: 2474dd

... you can't ditch party members so don't try.
No. 889348 ID: a228bd

Kitty: Grope the Bun for hidden weapons.
Spike: Stay away from the Bun.
Stranner: Disarm this deathtrap.
No. 896092 ID: 2474dd
File 153345799690.jpg - (82.08KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom10.jpg )

Snoogie-Boo decides their options with their mighty, mighty brain.
No. 896093 ID: 2474dd
File 153345806063.jpg - (86.48KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom10a.jpg )

Resolving impassé...
No. 896094 ID: 2474dd
File 153345945967.jpg - (64.01KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom11.jpg )

Soaking Wet and Cold Bun: You all are a right bunch of cunts.

What shall the party do next?

A. Now help the bun.
B. Now leave the bun.
C. Something else?
No. 896106 ID: 4f1cbc

A. Now help the bun.

C. Ask the bun how she got in there anyways.
No. 896213 ID: 365ea0

Come on, what else were we supposed to do with a dunk tank? Not use it? Heresy! Now let's get you out of there.
No. 899231 ID: 2474dd
File 153534459862.jpg - (78.95KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom12.jpg )

Bun: About bloody time. Look, I'm just in this place to find my brother. He says he likes this place for hunt'n but I think he's just look'n to chat up some goblin tarts.

Kitty: Funny, we're also looking for some goblin tarts -- ones that have stolen some mystic bra and panties from the dwarves.

Bun: Well I'm not actually look'n for goblin tarts, I'm just trying to find m' brother.
No. 899233 ID: 2474dd
File 153534548207.jpg - (113.66KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom13.jpg )

With that, you part ways because the group's gotten too big to invite anyone along.

Something about the bun's mannerisms bothered Kitty however. It's not until the group's continued along the path some distance North that they realize that the bun must have lifted their wallet before she left!

But then Spike pointed out that the party spent all the cash anyway so all she got was an empty baggie.
No. 899235 ID: 4f1cbc

Couldn't we have treated her as an npc we're escorting instead of a member of the party? And we never found out how she got in the dunk tank! There's a sinister dunk-tank-locking-people-in force at play that we're entirely ignorant of!
No. 899237 ID: 2474dd
File 153534747865.jpg - (151.36KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom14.jpg )

The party continues down the path to the north until they reach what was originally some kind of log ride which has since been converted into a bar. Sitting on one of the former log cars is a GO-GO GOBLIN.

Go-Go Goblins are easily differentiated from other goblins because they tend to have a height of 5'8" and about half of it will be leg.

This one has tawny skin, cotton candy pink hair, and is examining a very interesting set of shimmering silver panties.

What does the party do?

A. Ignore the goblin.
B. Try to talk to the goblin.
C. Attack the goblin!
D. Marry: "I ROLL TO SEDUCE THE GOBLIN!" (God dammit, Mary)
E. Something else?
No. 899238 ID: 2474dd

>Couldn't we have treated her as an npc we're escorting instead of a member of the party? And we never found out how she got in the dunk tank! There's a sinister dunk-tank-locking-people-in force at play that we're entirely ignorant of!

This is playing with the Fighting Fantasy game book, "Forest of Doom" -- my very first game book. In the book, the thief is someone you stumble across. It's not known if the thief really did get caught in a trap or was just playing the player but he originally does steal your gold. He might not be lying either since there is a masked hunter you can meet on another path in the forest.

Behind the scenes, Kitty blew a detection roll or you would have gotten more options.
No. 899244 ID: 4f1cbc

B and also D
No. 899248 ID: 094652

C - Knock her with excessive force so she flies out of her underwear!

Because seriously, it's right there. In her hands. Comedy.

Sex jokes aside non-lethal takedown before she can do a thing!
No. 899340 ID: e3e99e

Solid D.
No. 909389 ID: 2474dd
File 154127173745.jpg - (117.09KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom15.jpg )

Mary rolls to SEDUCE GOBLIN!


It wraps its tentacle-like tongue around Mary's neck and yanks her towards its horrid, gaping maw!
No. 909390 ID: 2474dd
File 154127175427.jpg - (116.75KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom_PantyGet.jpg )

Spike: PANTY GET!!
No. 909392 ID: 2474dd
File 154127182597.jpg - (81.31KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom16.jpg )

Shapeshifter: Wut.

Kitty: Spike? What the hell are you doing covered in women's underwear?

Her voice becomes slightly more tense.

Kitty: Whose underwear are those anyway?
No. 909394 ID: 2474dd
File 154127204180.jpg - (98.61KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom17.jpg )

Mary: OOOoooo! Nice! Let me rub my face in a few and we'll see if it's anyone I know or have on record.

The shapeshifter unwraps its tongue from Mary's neck but doesn't pull it back into its maw. Instead, it quietly slinks off and scrubs its tongue against a tree. It appears to be shaking involuntarily. Soon it disappears into the forest.

Apparently the panties were just part of its illusion.
No. 909412 ID: 977456

Mary, are you really going to let a possible seduction target escape like that? It is a shapeshifter! Think of the possibilities!
No. 909649 ID: afdebc

Seconded. What does that tentacle tongue think it's doing, stopping at second base?!
No. 911317 ID: 2474dd
File 154274984052.jpg - (104.65KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom18.jpg )

The shapeshifter briefly pops out of the shadows to flip you the bird.

While it appears that the panties were also an illusion, Spike has found and already ingested some of the purple, spotted mushrooms next to the ride car the shapeshifter was sitting on.

The mushrooms seem to have no effect on Spike, but this is Spike we're talking about and the fact that he seems fine doesn't necessarily even indicate that the mushrooms aren't poisonous.

What do you suggest the party do?

A. Someone else eat a mushroom.
B. Ignore the mushrooms.
C. Ignore the mushrooms, get a report on the panty owners from Mary.
D. Choose someone to eat a mushroom, then get a report on the panty owners from Mary. If you choose Mary to sample the mushroom, please indicate if you want the report BEFORE or AFTER she eats one.
No. 911322 ID: 094652

D) Mary does half the report before eating two whole mushrooms.
No. 911553 ID: afdebc

Have Mary eat a mushroom, they look like something she loves after all. Don't worry about the dosage being way off for her size either, that's never a problem in games!
No. 911568 ID: 2474dd
File 154301906901.jpg - (110.26KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom19.jpg )

Mary sees no problem with the plan of eating strange mushrooms as long as it is FOR SCIENCE!
No. 911569 ID: 2474dd
File 154301912040.jpg - (103.48KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom19a.jpg )

The effects don't take long to kick in.
No. 911571 ID: 2474dd
File 154301994579.jpg - (182.90KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom19b.jpg )

Mary has eaten part of a MIX UP MUSHROOM!

Unlike the rest of your party, Mary's attributes are defined by the HORNY FUTA QUEST S.E.X.U.A.L. system. Probably because she's a sexual scientist.

A Level 6 Faerie (Neo Pixie) Sexual Scientist.

The MIX UP MUSHROOM swaps one of Mary's attributes with another. Due to a particular element about her biology, her (E)LASTICITY stat is fixed.

As the party leader, you can try to influence the outcome. Because it could potentially be funnier this way. You're on your own for finding out what the other stats are, but the TGChan Wiki might help.

What do you do? Choose ONE only:

A. Let the mushrooms take their normal course. In the original "Forest of Doom" game book (which this quest is inspired by) the mushrooms swapped the player's SKILL and LUCK stats. Mary doesn't have such attributes but whatever.

B. Dice the mushroom results; two stats other than her (E)lasticity will be randomly swapped.

C. Enhance chaos and scramble all her stats [except her (E)lasticity].

D. Try to focus on which attributes to swap. You'll need to supply which two.
No. 911574 ID: 080aaf

Chaos, chaos!
No. 911576 ID: 17c2ee

I don't know what the other stats are but I'll vote

No. 911578 ID: 977456

S and L are almost the same, so swapping them would be mostly harmless.
D: X_U no, no, wait, that would be too obvious...
D: S_U
No. 911582 ID: d18b05

Swap Unusual and X-tra Large

Attack of the five foot fairy!?
No. 911583 ID: 2474dd
File 154303425380.jpg - (185.58KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom19c.jpg )

>Mary's stats have been scrambled.

New stats:

>Mary's SEDUCTION has been swapped with her UNUSUAL.

New stats:

>Mary's UNUSUAL has been swapped with her X-TRA LARGE.

New stats:

Mary: Ugh, I feel funny. Do you think another dose might straighten me out?

Would you like to have her eat more of the mushroom or leave her as is?
No. 911584 ID: e3e99e

This is fine.
No. 911590 ID: afdebc

For the uninitiated, or forgetful, here's where the S.E.X.U.A.L. stats are explained (NSFW):


> Do you think another dose might straighten me out
Sure, why not! (Come on, swap that 21 into ability)!
No. 911593 ID: d18b05

Keep this I think.
No. 911601 ID: 2474dd
File 154304606937.jpg - (132.43KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom20.jpg )

Mary: Am I any taller? Is anything different about me? Anything important larger?

Spike: Important? Like FISTS?!

Mary: Big fists aren't important for... well, for ME to have.

Spike: Muscles?!

Mary: No, not really interested in that.


Mary: Is he trolling me or just stupid?
No. 911603 ID: 2474dd
File 154304718275.jpg - (137.00KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom20a.jpg )

Kitty: Honestly sweetie, I still haven't figured that out.

Spike picks up some extra mushrooms for... God knows what reason. The path splits.

What do you choose?

No. 911624 ID: d18b05

I'm not familiar with the original adventure so in absence of any other distinguishing factors North.
No. 911626 ID: afdebc

No. 911639 ID: 2474dd

>I'm not familiar with the original adventure so in absence of any other distinguishing factors North.

That's OK, Spike & Kitty aren't playing the original too straight anyways. Prior knowledge not required.
No. 911641 ID: 2474dd
File 154308894854.jpg - (147.93KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom21.jpg )

Further north down the path, the carnival is more overtaken by forest growth. Despite that, up ahead the party sees a lit display, apparently plugged into a nearby tree.


Regardless, it seems to be advertising "The Amazing Chair". It appears to be a simple stone chair with a surprisingly pristine cushion despite the outside having some mossy growth on it.

Next to the chair is a small table on which there is a surprisingly pristine looking plate of cookies and a glass of what appears to be milk.

There's also some sort of sign in a foreign language, but it's been ruined by a black mold of some sort. It was probably either marketing or legal information.

Wat do?

A. Have someone sit in the chair. Note that Mary is too small to volunteer and Kitty probably won't listen to you anyways. Stranner looks hesitant, so you will probably have to choose between Spike or Flycatcher.

B. Ignore the chair and press onwards.
No. 911642 ID: 17c2ee

Venture off the paths and go west, young man.
No. 911643 ID: 080aaf

We didn't come all this way to ignore The Amazing Chair. Spike can fit, Spike can sits.
No. 911652 ID: 977456

Wouldn't Spike fits better upside-down?
No. 911653 ID: 094652

Set it on fire
No. 911691 ID: 2474dd
File 154311559112.jpg - (187.25KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom21a.jpg )

Spike sits.
No. 911692 ID: 2474dd
File 154311560996.jpg - (183.72KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom21b.jpg )

No. 911694 ID: 2474dd
File 154311563265.jpg - (310.33KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom21c.jpg )

No. 911695 ID: 2474dd
File 154311574663.jpg - (122.15KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom22a.jpg )

Kitty: God dammit, Spike! Stop doing EVERYTHING Snoogie tells you to do. That chair's not even made of anything flammable! It's a STONE CHAIR. The only thing remotely flammable is the cushion which you have SOMEHOW MANAGED TO NOT LIGHT ON FIRE.
No. 911696 ID: 2474dd
File 154311580027.jpg - (123.58KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom22b.jpg )

Random Demon: Oh my gosh. What have you done to the Chair of Life Draining? That was our floor model!!
No. 911697 ID: 2474dd
File 154311602203.jpg - (131.56KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom22c.jpg )

Kitty: See?! And now you've gone and wrecked a floor model.
No. 911698 ID: 2474dd
File 154311607437.jpg - (312.50KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom22d.jpg )

Chair of Life Draining: Naw man, t'sokay, I'm made of stone, yeah?
No. 911699 ID: 2474dd
File 154311630147.jpg - (121.89KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom22e.jpg )

Kitty: I'm sorry, I had no idea he was contagious.

Demon: Just go. Please.

The party continues onwards...
No. 911742 ID: d18b05

Wait, eat those cookies and milk. Compound your crimes!
No. 911780 ID: 977456

Mary: Seduce off the demon's tie, use it to construct a rudimentary saddle, affix saddle to Kitty's ponytail, acquire free transportation.
No. 919238 ID: 8d26c4
File 154865830964.jpg - (147.96KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom23.jpg )

Kitty: Are you eating the cookies and milk?

Spike munches quietly.

Kitty: You know they're wax, right?

Spike munches quietly.

Kitty: Are you eating the plate too?

Spike munches quietly.

Kitty: God dammit, Spike.
No. 919365 ID: 977456

Spike eats wax. You are what you eat. Twirl Spike's hair for use as a candle wick.

Also: Spike, thine are thus tasked to quest for a mitey steed!
No. 919384 ID: 8d26c4

Spike also eats moldy old popcorn booths. Spike will eat a lot of stupid things Quest asks him to eat.

>Also: Spike, thine are thus tasked to quest for a mitey steed!
I already know what the next 'encounter' is. Their quest is about to go sideways again.
No. 919499 ID: 094652

To the west!
No. 926550 ID: 8d26c4

Quick bump post so S&K don't get graveyarded while I was working on other quests, especially since I already know what I'm gonna do for 'em. I just need the time to do the art.
No. 926758 ID: 8d26c4
File 155322363291.jpg - (142.19KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom24a.jpg )

The party journeys further into the abandoned fairgrounds/open air dungeon. It's peaceful. They journey along the path, flanked on either sides by the rotting fences overgrown by tall grass outside various currently unused buildings.

Suddenly with a roar a great warthog bursts onto the scene!

Warthog: OK SLIMEBALLS, this is a STICKUP! Hand over all ya got or you're DEAD!
No. 926759 ID: 8d26c4
File 155322372316.jpg - (137.72KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom24b.jpg )


Warthog: Wut.
No. 926760 ID: 8d26c4

I suppose you could make a suggestion. Things will happen regardless but feel free.
No. 926788 ID: e3e99e

Look out for his partner, unless you want a horn up your ass.
No. 926804 ID: 977456

Uhh... quest completed! Your reward is in another castle! Or the castle might have left by its own means?
No. 926908 ID: 9876c4

Search for a Stetson for our new friend.

3,2,1 let's jam.
No. 927817 ID: 8d26c4
File 155388697080.jpg - (78.50KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom25.jpg )

"Look out for his partner, unless you want a horn up your ass."
No. 927818 ID: 8d26c4
File 155388704972.jpg - (116.42KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom25b.jpg )

Bebop: Naw that's not gonna happen.

He begins to sob.

No. 927819 ID: 8d26c4
File 155388706853.jpg - (102.90KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom26.jpg )

"... Bebop and Rocksteady broke up?"
No. 927821 ID: 8d26c4
File 155388708746.jpg - (98.75KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom27.jpg )

"Wait, Bebop and Rocksteady were GAY?!"
No. 927822 ID: 8d26c4
File 155388715905.jpg - (120.29KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom28.jpg )

Dr. Stranner: I find it hard to believe Rocksteady's smart enough to do game dev. This isn't the same Rocksteady, right?

Flycatcher: I have no idea who anyone is or what you all are talking about.
No. 927823 ID: 8d26c4
File 155388718119.jpg - (122.69KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom29.jpg )

Bebop continues to sob.
No. 927824 ID: 8d26c4
File 155388721804.jpg - (124.82KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom30.jpg )

Spike: Does it make me gay if I get off of a gay guy?
No. 927826 ID: 094652

"You could beg for a job as DLC."
No. 927828 ID: 8d26c4
File 155388814850.jpg - (67.93KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom31.jpg )


Well. How shall we proceed now?

1. We leave the poor, sobbing pigman to his misery and carry on with our quest. Spike, get down off the Bebop. ("You don't get down off a Bebop, you get down off a duck!" >Goddammit, Spike<)

2. Help Bebop with his personal problems, shifting gears once again from a dungeon crawl to what might wind up being a gay furry dating sim. Stranner and Flycatcher will resume the dungeon quest on their own and probably have a better time of it. Mary will accompany Spike & Kitty because there's no way she's missing out on a gay furry dating sim.
No. 927938 ID: 9876c4

Use stranner-hat to create Cowboy-Bebop.
Alternately, use sweatervest to create Cosby-Bebop.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to accomplish.
No. 927988 ID: 977456

Cowboy Bebop is tempting... but I gotta go with leaving him to his misery.
No. 931301 ID: 8d26c4

TGchan never ceases to surprise me.
No. 932969 ID: 8d26c4
File 155798187620.jpg - (194.81KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom32.jpg )

The party moves on and leaves poor Bebop to his sobbing.

They come to a crossroads. The party can now go WEST to the STRONG MAN EXHIBIT, NORTH to the WILD WATER RIDE or EAST to the BIRD SHOW.

What do you suggest?

No. 932973 ID: 977456

East! Birds are delicious. Make certain to take the sign with you, as evidence, in case they try to claim that you went the wrong way.
No. 935002 ID: 8d26c4
File 155984726722.jpg - (188.31KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom33.jpg )

The party goes EAST to the BIRD SHOW.

Apparently the "Bird Show" is a flock of wall-eyed vultures as they circle above a barbarian, bounded by stakes to a very large cooking sheet.

He is glistening with fragrant, virgin olive oil. It is readily apparent that the intent is for him to bake in the sun and then be eaten by the birds.

What does the party do?

1. Free the barbarian.

2. Ignore the barbarian, continue on their way.

3. Something else?
No. 935004 ID: 094652

You heard the bird. Walk away.
No. 935005 ID: 1ed92d

Politely ask the Barbarian what he did to piss these guys off.
No. 935023 ID: 977456

Place a bet on 40-60 minutes. I am feeling lucky! So long as Mary doesn't mess with the result...
No. 939235 ID: 8d26c4
File 156324048407.jpg - (133.35KB , 640x720 , SK_Doom34.jpg )

The party continues along its way, leaving the barbarian to his delicious fate. Well, it's delicious for the birds. He probably thinks it sucks.

They continue down the midway and discover a decent place to make camp. It apparently is the remains of a bed & breakfast, given the frame of a long-gone structure with a sign that has managed to withstand the ravages of time that says "Bed & Breakfast".

Spike takes a large bite out of the wooden framework, chews thoughtfully and then spits out a campfire. Flycatcher glances at Kitty who just sighs and shakes her head. Spike then sets you down and wanders off.

As the rest of the group try to create some makeshift bedding, there's a screech and a giant vampire bat flutters into view.

Vampire Bat: I see ya took care of the beds, now it's time for breakfast!

Kitty is not amused.

What do you suggest?

1. The joke was terrible, the vampire bats must die.
2. Use your SUPER GARLIC BUDS that you bought near the beginning of this dungeon.
3. Ask if they can transform into SEXY VAMPIRE BATS.
No. 939248 ID: 094652

Standard adventurer protocol is to put random junked items into your inventory for nonsensical reasons and then inexplicably use them to great effect during an encounter.
Use Garlic On Vampire.

What are you waiting for.
No. 939251 ID: 977456

The vampire's bite is kin to the gar's lick: not worth the smell.
Challenge it to suck the stupid out of Spike.
No. 939527 ID: 5b93d3

Put in your orders for breakfast. Eggs, sausage, bacon, beans, French Toast, the works. Use Spike's boneheaded recalcitrance to browbeat the bat into compliance.
No. 939533 ID: 8eaf98

Have mary do 3 and kitty do: >>939251
>suck stupid out of spike
while at the same time have spike do: >>939527
No. 939539 ID: 2df440


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