You're in a forest, threaten to set him on fire, only actually do it if he attacks. Evelyn doesn't look to be in a state to spam ice spells to put out any fire you start.

Now you vomit on him!

1/2 Tavern 2017/07/22(Sat)21:29 No. 817696 ID: 6c9de1
File 150078414061.jpg - (66.64KB , 802x597 , WB9.jpg )

>>817287
You retch a bit, but can't manage to throw up anything!

The bandit brandishes his sword angrily. "What the fuck, you guys?! Stop fucking puking at me!"

>>817063
>"Oh come off it," you snap! "I've been through a lot worse than some vom today, alright?!"

>You go off, listing all the wrongs that have been done to you!

Your problems fall on deaf ears. "Do I look like I give a shit that you got suspended from some school, kid? I've got a job to do, here!"

>"I don't even have any fucking money!" you admit in exasperation. "We're broke! We got kicked out without our things!"

"Where does that leave me, then?! I've got a quota to meet for the week and your bullshit's gonna put me behind!"

>>817051
>>817077
>>817269
>>817053
You really, really want to just burn this asshole to a crisp, but it would probably be a mean thing to do to a professional.

"Fine, fine! You know what, I don't even want cash! That's fine!! Just gimme some collateral alright, like those fancy hats..."

AS FUCKING IF

2/2 Tavern 2017/07/22(Sat)21:45 No. 817697 ID: 6c9de1
File 150078510262.jpg - (81.23KB , 800x660 , WB10.jpg )

>>817275
>You screech and point your tome at him threateningly!! "I'LL FUCKING BURN YOU, YOU FUCK! I'LL BURN THIS WHOLE FUCKING FOREST DOWN IF YOU TOUCH MY HAT!!!"

"Calm down, geeze! What do you mean burn--?!!" The dipshit's face becomes a mask of horror as he realizes what he's dealing with. "Oh God, you're a witch! You're witches!"

>"Goddamned right! Move and I'll fucking kill you!!"

He drops the sword and stands as still as possible. "Just my fucking luck...! Look, I don't want any trouble, okay? I'm just trying to make ends meet, you know how it is, right?"

>"Give me ONE good reason not to turn you into bacon," you snarl.

"Y-you want some cash? I know people, okay? You uh, you said you're out of school for a couple months, right? I could take you into town, show you around! That's cool, right? Maybe get you an interview with my boss, land you a job? He's a witch too you know, a real one! Real strong you know, with all the familiars and demons and shit!"

A job, eh? from another witch? This is your ticket out of this dump of a school, and possible gain a new and better mentor who would not give up on you. Tell him to keep talking, your listening.

Tavern 2017/07/23(Sun)19:54 No. 817932 ID: 6c9de1
File 150086487080.jpg - (71.25KB , 800x665 , WB11.jpg )

>>817771
>Another witch, he says...? "I'm listening!"

"Y-yeah, the guy in charge of the banditry firm around here is a witch, a really good one! Him pulling strings is the main reason we haven't gotten shut down by the local lord, or those bitches from the forest--er, those witches, I should say....

"They say he's even stronger than a three starred sage, that's cool, right? And he's one of those rare summoner-types, he's got all sorts of demons and shit working for him. What someone like him's doing in charge of a local banditry firm who knows, but we all look up to him!"

>"And you know him?"

"Well, I don't know know him... B-but, my supervisor reports back to him! So I could set you up with an interview really easily! That's worth my life, right? Right...?"

Well, it can't be worse than being with your current mentor. Lets do it.

No. Sounds like more trouble than it's worth to me, your current mistress is a pain but is trying to teach you stuff, a witch that commands a bunch of bandits has no reason to since that'd give them competition. It's obvious that his guy is just saying stuff to try and save his skin anyway, tell him to scram and be on your way.

Fuck that.
Tell this guy to GTFO.

Better to rule in hell than serve in... also hell.

You've always wanted to be a mascot character for a band of irredeemable cutthroats!

1/2 Tavern 2017/07/26(Wed)06:05 No. 818541 ID: 6c9de1
File 150107430169.jpg - (98.42KB , 800x983 , WB12.jpg )

>>817996
>>818070
Becoming the cute witch mascot for a bandit gang does sound fun...

>>818068
>>818035
Buuuut the guy's probably bullshitting a lot to save his skin. Fuck that!

>"No thanks," you scoff, "now scram!!"

"Er, I can't really scram, my shift in this bush doesn't end till sundown..."

>"Then just stay there, we're going! C'mon, Evelyn."

The frail-ass witch stirs and staggers to her feet. "Hhhhhhhh.... C-can't...we sit....please....."

>"Get moving or I'll drag you by your hair again!"

"Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

2/2 Tavern 2017/07/26(Wed)06:23 No. 818542 ID: 6c9de1
File 150107540508.jpg - (90.99KB , 820x747 , WB13.jpg )

You reach Ovaine around midday with no conflict, save for the occasional kick to Evelyn's ass for dragging behind. It looks like a pretty lame place, but they say the best bakery in the country is around here...

"Hhhhhh..... I...can't...go on," Evelyn groans, tugging at your sleeve. "I'm dying.... I'm...hungry....."

>You shake her off and walk over to a nearby sign. "Chill, we'll get food after we figure out what's what!"

>>The sign seems to be giving directions to some of the town's main buildings...

>>>>"Mayor's Estate"
>>>>"Church of God"
>>>>"Grunwald Bakery"
>>>>"Roterwald Bakery"
>>>>"Jaeger's Guesthouse"
>>>>"Basar's Market"

Well, one of the bakeries right?
or if you go to the market you might be able to find a dropped coin or two to get some snacks.

introduce yourself to the mayor

>>818542
Ah yes the Roterwald Bakery. The perfect place to get started on magic cake!

>>818542
Bakery sounds like a good place to start. You could get some food for likely some basic work, and you'd probably get a chance to hone your fire-making abilities if you showed them off.

Heck, you might actually be able to bake that dang cake. Wins all around!

1/2 Tavern 2017/07/27(Thu)20:17 No. 818939 ID: 6c9de1
File 150121183336.jpg - (70.74KB , 840x771 , WB14.jpg )

>>818546
>>818777
>>818617
You grab Evelyn's hand and start marching toward the Roterwald Bakery. With luck they'll have a job opening, food, and the means to start mastering magic cake...

>>818606
You decide you'll pay the mayor a visit after you're through getting settled at the bakery.

Evelyn makes some weird-ass noise and points ahead of you. "H-hey... Look...!!"

Roterwald Bakery comes into view! On the eastern end of the village, it looks a little like the building you saw in the distance on the way in. You guess that must have been the Grunwald Bakery.

Someone's sitting out front. He doesn't move as you approach.

2/2 Tavern 2017/07/27(Thu)20:38 No. 818941 ID: 6c9de1
File 150121308124.jpg - (49.89KB , 600x800 , WB15.jpg )

The dude on the doorstep is dressed in an apron and padded pants. You guess from the grime covering him that he's an oven worker or something. His eyes are glued to yours as you come closer.

>"Hey," you start as you reach him. "Do you work here?"

"Do angels have names?"

>"I--what?"

The guy has this creepy squint going on as he looks you over. "A crimson spirit...nay! With such a countenance and sensual physique, it can be naught but a succubus. Heh! Perhaps my recipes have finally succeeded...."

>"The fuck did you call me?!"

He nods seriously as he continues to weird you the fuck out. "Peace milady, I know you're confused. Might I treat you to some earthly cuisine as we discuss the purpose for which I've called you to this plane?"

>>818941
Ooooookay...weird as FUCK.

But yo, free food is free food. You've been hanging around Evelyn this long, you can take a bit more weirdness.

>>818941
That mind control bracelet you're wearing is making it so you can't understand this creeper's real meaning.

He's calling you pretty.

Oh great, you've arrived at Breaded Buster's Children's Bakery and Fair, where wholesome families go to traumatize their kids with pedophile fuzzy golems and unrigged carnival games with rigged rewards.

Ask for a menu, buy what you want, and get out before this damages your brain.

He called you a succubus and he wants to feed you "earthly cuisine"
I think he's telling you to suck his dick.

Trade him Evelyn for a fuckload of pastries.

Wow. This Guy's an idiot.
Play along. Might learn something.

1/3 Tavern 2017/07/30(Sun)18:53 No. 819612 ID: 6c9de1
File 150146602753.jpg - (64.86KB , 830x843 , WB16.jpg )

>>818962
>>819052
You don't like this guy's vibe but you have made it this far dealing with Evelyn... You decide to humor him.

>"Uhhhh, sure. That'd be nice."

"Ahhhh, splendid, m'dear. Please, this way!"

He leads you into the bakery and down a flight of stairs. The oven room for this place is huge--you guess this is where most of their goods get prepared. There is an incredibly sus array of pastries sitting on a cloth in the middle of the floor.

"Welcome to the abode of Otto Roterwald," your guide announces. "Feel free to partake of the foodstuffs I made for your arrival."

2/3 Tavern 2017/07/30(Sun)19:00 No. 819613 ID: 6c9de1
File 150146644305.jpg - (52.92KB , 800x529 , WB17.jpg )

Evelyn tears the cake apart before you have a chance to get any, the bitch. You cautiously grab one of the pastries and take a bite. You can feel Otto watching you chew....

>>819016
The shit tastes good but you don't think it's worth losing your only minion over, especially not to some weirdo like this.

Otto clears his throat and squints even harder. "Now, I know explanations are in order," he says. "You see, to the other Roterwalds I am just a simple baker's apprentice. But in secret, I have been dabbling in the dark culinary arts.

"For the past three years my father has made me work here, I have worked to perfect the recipes needed to perform a true Culinary Summoning. I will admit, there were times I doubted myself. No ritual I've attempted so far has actually done anything.... But today, it all has payed off! Not one, but two demonic beings, eating of my cuisine, in my own home!"

>"Uhhhhh, we're not--"

"Oh, I know what you're thinking, milady. You are no powerful demon, just an average succubus. That too can be explained...."

The fucker's getting really shifty, fiddling with his apron and glancing around. "You see, madam.... In my quest to perfect the Culinary Summon, my goal was never great power or fame. Truth be told, I only hoped for, uh...companionship."

>"....What?"

"Companionship, milady! To attract a woman of peerless beauty, from a realm beyond my own! A rare creature only found in other planes.... One such as yourself, you see...."

3/3 Tavern 2017/07/30(Sun)19:02 No. 819614 ID: 6c9de1
File 150146655032.jpg - (54.93KB , 820x444 , WB18.jpg )

What

>>818974
W h a t

>>818986
N O O O O O O O N O N O N O N O N O

SLOW DOWN THERE, CHIEF
THERE'S BEEN SOME MISCOMMUNICATION HERE

Walk away. Do not interact further.

>>819614
...nope.

nope.

nope.

nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope

WE OUT

If he expects you to listen to him at all why didn't he bake binding bread? The aromatic pastry so fragrant that it leaves other worldly creatures helpless in its wake.
Come on man what is this amateur hour?

This guy can teach you demon cake... But
But.
At what cost?
Isn't there another bakery in town? Tell him you'll be right back and then leave. If he tries to stop you, burn him.

Alternatively you could just tell him to shut the fuck up for a minute and let you speak, allowing you to explain the situation.

On another note I think doing lewd things would negate the whole point of the correction charm.

Man, I dunno. You play this right, you've got another minion.
Obviously, you're not for lewding, but that's why you've got minion #1.

1/2 Tavern 2017/08/02(Wed)19:45 No. 820168 ID: 6c9de1
File 150172833007.jpg - (86.54KB , 800x806 , WB19.jpg )

>>819617
>>819618
>>819679
>>819621
YOU ARE L E A V I N G

>You abruptly stand and yank Evelyn up from the food. "UH... UHHH...."

"I know it is quite the unique deal I'm offering here, but--"

>"N O!!! NO NO, UH...." You inch over to the door and slowly open it. "I'LL THINK ABOUT IT! I'LL... I'LL BE BACK! LATER! NOT NOW!!"

"B-but the food," Evelyn mumbles around a mouthful of pastry.

>"NOT NOW!!!"

"I'll be here, milady," Otto says with a confused squint.

2/2 Tavern 2017/08/02(Wed)19:51 No. 820169 ID: 6c9de1
File 150172867971.jpg - (70.71KB , 800x605 , WB20.jpg )

You book it up the stairs and back to the bakery's entrance without hesitation! Christ, you feel dirty!

Evelyn takes another bite of the creep's ""earthly cuisine."" "Mfffff.... H-he seemed nice... I liked...the food...."

>You shudder and grip your arms. "SHHHH!! No more talking from you! And drop that fucking dessert! I've made a mistake...!"

>>819737
You really fucking hate that charm, but at least it helps keep you away from the likes of...that.

>>819643
This just makes it all worse, he was probably a fucking hack, too! You don't really know much about culinary summoning, but he was probably doing it wrong!!

>>819862
More minions are necessary if you want to make it big, but you're hesitant to try getting one at the cost of Evelyn's purity. A chill runs through you when you think of him finding ""companionship"" in that girl.... You're not entirely sure what to the best course of action is, here.

Evelyn utterly destroys your personal bubble and breaks your concentration, still smacking on that pastry. "Mfff...hhhhhhh.... Hey.... Y-you good...?"

"No, Evelyn. No, I am not."

>>820169
Nope. Let's get the hell out of here and pray the other bakery is half decent.

Oh yeah, been meaning to ask.

Is that splotch on your face just a birthmark or what?

RIP fuckload of pastries.

Fortunately, I am sure the OTHER bakery will be completely above board with no wacky circumstances.

>>820175
That's a bruise I think

>>820175
That would be a self inflicted burn.

Ok then next bakery.

1/3 Tavern 2017/08/07(Mon)16:43 No. 820987 ID: 6c9de1
File 150214939189.jpg - (43.33KB , 830x589 , WB21.jpg )

>>820171
>"No, Evelyn," you grate. "No, I'm not."

>>820174
>>820178
It had better be.... You speed back down the path with your minion uncomfortably close behind.

2/3 Tavern 2017/08/07(Mon)16:49 No. 820988 ID: 6c9de1
File 150214976274.jpg - (58.71KB , 800x706 , WB22.jpg )

You navigate your way through the town until you reach the west edge, where the Grunwald Bakery sits. You pray that you can just find a job here without further stress...

...And of course that can't just fucking happen, there's a fucking mob in front of the place jesus CHRIST

3/3 Tavern 2017/08/07(Mon)17:13 No. 820989 ID: 6c9de1
File 150215123705.jpg - (104.24KB , 760x805 , WB23.jpg )

What looks like every baker in the town is caught up in a fucking fight! Heads are getting split by cooking instruments all over the bakery's lawn! In the center of the action are two chefs wielding the biggest cutting knives you've seen in your life.

"Grunwald!!!" the one in the white apron bellows, "Your men will soon be defeated! Hand over the recipes, or die where you stand!!"

"I tell you, I don't have that goddamned book!" the other replies. "Leave us be, or your blood will water our superior grains!"

"You are a liar!! You will give us what is ours, or I will cut off your flour-crusted hands with my blade!"

Jesus, the fighting's getting worse down there and Grunwald's guys seem to be getting their asses kicked. At this rate heads will roll...

>>820989
Okay, no.

There's stupid and then there's STUPID.

Light up the biggest fire you have, get them to calm down and see what the ACTUAL FUCK is going on- because chances are if neither of them is copping to whatever this book is, then chances are decent neither of them have it. So go down there, do your best 'wrath of an angry, hungry god' impression, and let's see what bullshit's happening now.

It's a MANLY DUEL!

You cannot possibly understand the BURNING PASSION that is the heart of a baker! Honor and duty demand they rise to the occasion and take up arms in the name of what they believe in! Roterwald's men don't have a choice in this, nor Grunwald's men. None of them can be breakers of destiny, lest they give up on being bakers of bread.

But I'm sure that Roterwald will like to know that his good-for-nothing lecherous junior assistant is giving away the goods at the shop he was left to tend. That might distract him long enough for Grunwald to get his innings. And it's a lot safer than burning down the town or freezing a bunch of people.

Where is the popcorn? this is gonna be a good fight to watch. Whoever wins, you apply at.

I bet that creep that was giving away food is the one that stole the book.

Have your minion ask them if soufflés are really as fragile as the stories claim.
The sheer ignorance of the question should distract them long enough to come up with a plan,
My suggestion is that you rat out the apprentice's forbidden booty call baking, that will get rid of one of them at least.