Heeeey. It's our sacrifice all full of blood.
If they have a beginners guide to curses and enchantments, grab that too.

First things first, assuming there's any chance of us having to interact with this individual past this conversation we need to teach her how to breath properly. All those 'h's are really bothering me. Once we get that squared away (if it's even possible) we should simply ignore her and continue about our business.

Tavern 2016/07/24(Sun)19:18 No. 738516 ID: 6c9de1
File 146941309916.jpg - (116.78KB , 800x554 , image.jpg )

>>737987
>>737966
What--jesus christ!!

>>737973
>You snatch the creep's nose and pinch hard!! "Evelyn!!! What the fuck, dude?!"

"Aughggh!!!!! Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

>"You don't do that to people! Where did you come from?!"

She struggles feebly against your pinch of dominance. "Hhhhhhhh, hhhhhhhhh, hhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

>>737957
You consider it but then you remember that time Evelyn got infested with lice, or that other time with fleas.... You'd rather not wear anything of hers, just to be safe.

>>737963
Oh god is she? You hope not, that'd make this situation even weirder.

>>738042
>"Look, before we start, if I'm gonna be talking to you you need to quit the mouthbreathing thing."

"Hhhhhhhhhhh!! Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

>"No, just--"

"Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

>"You know what, never mind. Just... The mistress is sending us on a job together, okay? So just follow me and try to stop doing...that. Please."

Evelyn nods as enthusiastically as your death grip will allow.

>"Okay, good. So we're gonna go to the library and get some books, maybe something on curses and enchantments too..."

Evelyn starts fidgeting. "Th-the...library?? Hhhhhhhhh.....N-no... B-but....my project.....!"

>>738516
Wait, she has a project?
Curious. Tell us!

Let her go but let her know you'll punch her every time she breaths through her mouth.

Continue to the library, have her tell you about this "project" on the way.

Don't forget to punch her when she acts like a creep.

Evelyn, whatever creepy project you're cooking up, you'd better go pack it up, because we've gotta hit the road like, real soon.

Make her swear not to sniff you like that without permission before releasing her nose. Then ask her about this project, depending on what it is we might help.

>Oh god is she? You hope not, that'd make this situation even weirder.
Just hope she doesn't have a nose grabbing fetish.

>>738517
Yes, this.

lol, don't care!

...

Is what I'd like to say, but this might be important. If it turns out to be stupid you can use your authority as a 2nd most shit on girl in school to summarily cancel her dumbass project.

1/3 Tavern 2016/07/30(Sat)19:35 No. 739620 ID: 6c9de1
File 146993251360.jpg - (153.92KB , 733x800 , image.jpg )

>>738518
>You let go of Evelyn's nose and start walking. "Tell me about it on the way. And if you sniff me or anything creepy again, I'm gonna punch you!"

"Hhhhhhhhh..... O-okay...."

>>738550
Eugh, you shudder at the thought. Maybe you'll need to think of some ways to exert dominance that don't involve physical contact....

2/3 Tavern 2016/07/30(Sat)19:49 No. 739623 ID: 6c9de1
File 146993338687.jpg - (79.71KB , 800x459 , image.jpg )

The two of you start navigating the halls, heading toward the library.

>>738517
>"Okay, so what exactly is this project of yours?"

"Ah..... I'm uh... I'm p-practicing my white magic...."

>Wait, that would require a subject wouldn't it? "On what?"

She cracks a really freaky little smile. "Hhhhhhhhhhehehe..... I...... I got...bodies....."

>"Bodies?!!"

Oh christ you shouldn't have asked, the bitch went gravedigging!! You're about to deck her in the face for creeping you out again when you notice something off up ahead.

>"Evelyn.... Why's the library door barred?"

"O-oh darn..... My project.....!"

God, do you want to know....

3/3 Tavern 2016/07/30(Sat)20:08 No. 739631 ID: 6c9de1
File 146993450121.jpg - (138.93KB , 800x729 , image.jpg )

"Hhhhhhhh.... Uh.... I was practicing, and.... W-well uh....."

>"Evelyn I'm really about to hit your ass! Why's the door blocked?!"

"Hhhhhhhhhh!! I-I mixed the spells...!! It was Life Two.... A-and....... And it jumped at me....!!"

>"The corpse did? Are you saying you made a zombie in the library?!"

"A-at least one....."

>"At least--!! Does the mistress know?!"

"Hhhhhhh, n-no, she'd yell....! I almost went, to the office..... B-but then I smelled you, hhhhhhh...! P-please don't hit me....!!!"

What even! How do you even proceed? If you go tell the mistress about this she'll actually murder both of you. You could try and just run maybe but then she'll find out later and *double* murder you or something...! Shit!!

The solution is obvious, use your powerful physique to unbar the door, go kill the zombie(s), then tell the mistress about it after it's already been dealt with. You may want a spear or man catcher or something for this, using fire spells would probably not be appreciated.

You act like it's a lich! It's just one, lousy shambler! Go find a solid, blunt object, get in there, and stove its rotten head in!

If only we had something heavy or stabby. mmm... Stabby... Are there any stabby's nearby?

Also Danish, What spells DO you know? Ask your totally metal yet creepy mouth-breathing friend here as well. As fun as it would be to blow these things up... books are made of paper.

I would love to see fire 2 and life 2 combined to make a killer flame thingy...
but Books are still made of paper....

Though now that I think about it... Are they actually violent o is she just freaking out? if they are just shambling about mindlessly there might be nothing to worry about. They can wobble about until they bother someone. What did she mix with life?

If they are violent though... we... prolly need help. Got any friends or otherwise "Cool" Classmates?

>>739631
Lure zombies out of the library, then light them on fire. It's not like they move fast, right?

Obviously you can't use fire magic anywhere near the library, that would get you killed too.

On the plus side you now know if you get killed, Evelyn will probably try to bring you back, only you'll end up as a zombie and get to kill her and a bunch of other people.

>>739631
fire solves all undead related problems (except flaming skulls and skeletons)

Maybe the zombie isn't the reason the library is closed, otherwise Illum would have sensed it and get you in trouble again. For now, maybe ask around and ask why it is closed just to make sure.

1/3 Tavern 2016/08/07(Sun)14:19 No. 740943 ID: 6c9de1
File 147060475024.jpg - (55.04KB , 800x503 , image.jpg )

>>739635
>>739638
Wellll if there's only one in there.... Maybe between the two of you you could handle this without anybody finding out.

Evelyn glances at the door and shuffles uncomfortably close to you. "Hhhhhhhhh..... Sooo..... W-what now....??"

>Eughhhhh you can like feel the breath on your bad side, gross.... "We're gonna clean your mess ourselves," you reply tersely. "Quit it for a sec, I need to think..."

"Hhhhh......"

>>739642
You wish there was something long and pointy to go at the zombie with, but the only weapons in the glade are kept with the squires.... There's no way you're going to ask those fuckboys for anything. Other apprentices are a no-go too, they're all bitches and snitches.

That just leaves your own tools, but your magic isn't well-suited for use in a library... The only spell you're really solid at so far is Fire 1. And sort of Fire 2, you guess. That makes you think, though....

>"Evelyn, what spells do you know?"

H-huh?? Uhhhhhh... I-I'm through the White Magic Basics book so.... Like, all those... Oh, and Cure Two... And Ice One....."

What the fuck? How does this scrub know so many spells?!

"H-how about you....?"

>"Don't make me hit you!!"

"Hhhhhhhhhh?!"

...She has Ice One, why would that NOT be sufficent to deal with this zombie?
Depending on the size of the spell, couldn't she like, cast it on the zombie's feet and lock it in place, or maybe use it on a broom for a temporary war hammer.

2/3 Tavern 2016/08/07(Sun)14:35 No. 740950 ID: 6c9de1
File 147060573715.jpg - (72.90KB , 800x341 , image.jpg )

>>739657
You've put together a solid plan, you think. Now you just gotta do it. You prepare your POWERFUL PHYSIQUE to unbar the door--

>>739665
Wait, that's a point...

>"You're sure it's barred because of your project, right?"

"Y-yes, I did it myself...."

You're about to ask her how she lifted that huge-ass hunk of wood alone when a thump comes from the other side of the door.

>"Was that...?"

Evelyn looks panicky. "Hhhhhhhh, sh-shoot...! It must've got past all the shelves, hhhhhhh......!"

>"Wait, got past the what?"

Something bangs on the door hard enough to rattle the wood!

>You start to think you're in over your head a bit...! "That doesn't sound like just a fucking shambler! What did you mix with Life Two?!"

"Hhhhhhhhhhhh, B-b-b-berserk???"

3/3 Tavern 2016/08/07(Sun)14:38 No. 740951 ID: 6c9de1
File 147060590267.jpg - (140.12KB , 800x599 , image.jpg )

A hand smashes through door and bar alike!!

"HHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Cut the hand off!

Oh, fuck me!

TANK!!!

Oh crud, and there's at least one zombie. Whelp, pretty sure people are going to hear a angry zombie rampaging about. On the plus side they're trying to get out of the library, which means you can sorta lure them to somewhere you can blast them with fire 1 without damaging anything important. Heck you could probably do so in the hall since Evelyn can cast ice one to put out them before they spread.

So, I'd say get Evelyn to blast it with ice one while luring them outside or somewhere fire proof, then let loose. If it's getting too close for comfort, let loose anyway and let Evelyn put the fires out afterwards.

Couldn't you wreath yourselves in protective flames if you combined Fire 1 Cure 2 and a basic Warding spell?

Fighting something is a lot easier if it can't touch you but you can touch it.

>>740951
Yank her away from the door before the zombie hand kills her! You can't afford to lose your first minion already!

Then grab her and run. It'll be through the door soon; you want to be somewhere not-indoors when it catches up so you can cut lose with fire spells on the zombie-zerker.

Run away and not towards the library because we all know that you will set it on fire.

Grab her hair and pull! It's unlikely you can outrun that thing if it chases you in the open, unless there's a convenient fireproof killzone nearby I suggest having Evelyn cast ice 1 on the arm and then booking it to the mistress's office where you force Evelyn to explain what happened while tactfully dodging all blame (warn her emphatically not to implicate you beforehand).

1/2 Tavern 2017/07/17(Mon)20:12 No. 816620 ID: 6c9de1
File 150034753833.jpg - (89.33KB , 760x739 , WB1.jpg )

>>740954
>>740995
>>741023
R U N N I N G

Evelyn lets out a screech as you yank her away from the hand! With a crash, the biggest fucking zombie you've ever seen bursts through the door!!

>>740964
While you have no doubt you could totally pull that off without burning yourself to death, you don't trust Evelyn with such a plan! You do need to do something though, before--

"Aughhhh!! Ice 1!!"

A flash of magic, and the creature is encased in ice!

2/2 Tavern 2017/07/17(Mon)20:34 No. 816624 ID: 6c9de1
File 150034888411.jpg - (57.25KB , 800x385 , WB2.jpg )

>"Jesus christ," you yell! "That's a lot more than a fucking shambler!"

"I-I'm sorry," Evelyn stammers. "Sorry, sorry, sorry...!!"

>"Just shut up for a sec, okay!! I can figure this out!"

>>741137
You rack your brain for a plan of action. You could go the cunt route, try running and snitching on Evelyn to the mistress. It would be shitty for the creepy witch, but the mistress would definitely be able to blast that thing. She might also blast you too, though....

>>740962
Between the two of you you might be able to lure it somewhere safer, and take it out yourselves! That much magic action would probably bring someone down on you though, at the least other witches or one of the mistress's familiars...

"Hhhhhhhhh.... Uhhhh, I say, m-maybe, we should just run--"

>"I'LL do the planning, alright?! Now this is what I say!!"

Lure it back to your mistress, firing as much magic as you can! If you can kill it before you're forced to rely on your mistress, great. If not, don't get yourself killed without using all your assets.

(Holy crap this is back.)

Alright, uhh...well, don't panic.

>>816629
Don't do this. This is a horrible idea.

If it's frozen, then can't we, say... find something like a sword, melt JUST the area around it's head, and then chop its head off?

>>816633
Oh, good idea. Does one of the villagers here has a sword we can borrow? and bonus, if the head is still alive, maybe we can keep it as a pet?

>>816624
That ice ain't gonna hold long! We need to resolve this now!
Telling the teacher is out of the question.
There's not enough time to go find a weapon.
None of your dinky, little spells will work.
If you run, you might not get caught. Maybe.
You could fight it, but it might kill you.
These are some poor options.

So if you ice the ice, then Ice the Iced Ice, You'll have effectively iced him as he won't be able to get out until you are long gone.

1/3 Tavern 2017/07/18(Tue)18:24 No. 816761 ID: 6c9de1
File 150042745910.jpg - (89.54KB , 800x715 , WB3.jpg )

>>816629
You think harder on the pros and cons of leading it back to your mistress. Ultimately it probably wouldn't end that well for you, after everything that's happened today.

>>816633
>>816638
The squires would have a sword or two lying around, but they're so far! Nothing seems to be working out here...

So that leaves one option....

>>816679
>"I'VE come up with a plan," you declare!! "Maybe we should just run!"

"D-didn't I just...?"

The magic ice begins to crack!

>>816706
>"Evelyn, stack your Ice a few times! Give us long enough to get out of here!!"

"O-okay...!"

Jesus, she is really proficient with that spell. You watch WITHOUT JEALOUSY as she piles layer after layer of ice onto the zombie.

>"Alright alright, no need to show off! Let's bounce!"

2/3 Tavern 2017/07/18(Tue)18:30 No. 816764 ID: 6c9de1
File 150042784784.jpg - (132.00KB , 800x854 , WB4.jpg )

The two of you haul ass. Thanks to some shortcuts you figured out the last time you tried running away, you're out the front door and onto the glade in minutes.

"Hhhhhh, hhhhhhh, t-too much.... Too much running," Evelyn wheezes.

>"Keep up, bitch! That ice won't hold it forever!"

"Hhhhhhhhh, hhhhhhhhhh...!!!"

"Hey, stop! Hold up, you two!!"

Oh, just your luck.

3/3 Tavern 2017/07/18(Tue)18:42 No. 816767 ID: 6c9de1
File 150042852864.jpg - (97.30KB , 600x779 , WB5.jpg )

That fucking walrus Alyosha is now blocking your path. She's one of Cynthia's stupid cronies, and allegedly """the best pyromancer in the lower class.""" As if it's really her skill and not just that fucking staff. You're definitely better than her.

She scowls at you, somehow managing to make her face even uglier. "The hell are you doing back already?" she asks. "Gross, why's Evil Evelyn with you? Why are you running?"

>"Wouldn't you like to know, cunt," you spit.

"Stow it bitch, or I'll kick your ass and tell the mistress on you again! Answer my questions, right now!"

Ignore her and keep running.

Yeah just run.

>>816767
You really wanna know?

"Go (where the zombie is, but don't tell her it's a zombie.)"

1/3 Tavern 2017/07/19(Wed)21:16 No. 817039 ID: 6c9de1
File 150052417013.jpg - (81.52KB , 800x716 , WB6.jpg )

>>816779
>>816780
You juke the fuck out of her and keep running, with Evelyn close behind!

Pff, the cunt looks pissed. "You ugly bitch!! Get back here!"

>>816783
>"You really wanna know, slut?" you call back to her. "Go to the library!"

"The library...?"

You burn it toward the exit to the glade!

2/3 Tavern 2017/07/19(Wed)21:27 No. 817041 ID: 6c9de1
File 150052487337.jpg - (94.30KB , 830x764 , WB7.jpg )

The two of you keep running past the exit, through the woods, and down the road until you're only a couple miles from Ovaine.

You might have overdone it, just a bit...

You're almost crying from the amount of work it took to run that far nonstop. Evelyn collapses on top of some nearby bushes, shaking and wheezing heavily.

"Hhhhhhhhh.... Hhhhhhhhhhhhh.....Stop.... I.... I'm dying......"

>"Don't--!!" You stumble as your legs nearly give out on you. "Don't be such a pussy! I'm not even tired...."

"Hhhhhhh..... Hhhhhhhhh...... HhhhhhhhhHHHHHUUARHGHHHHHHH!!"

"DUDE, JESUS CHRIST!"

3/3 Tavern 2017/07/19(Wed)21:37 No. 817046 ID: 6c9de1
File 150052545717.jpg - (76.51KB , 801x702 , WB8.jpg )

An armed stranger leaps from the shrubbery, covered in the contents of Evelyn's stomach!

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Do you know what this shirt fucking cost me?!!"

Evelyn stumbles back and crumples to the ground, unable to reply.

"Hey, I'm talking here, kid!! I'm so sick of this happening to me! They always have me covering these fucking shitholes! I'm a professional and I shouldn't be forced to constantly be in these fucking shameful working conditions! I went to fucking highwayman school for this!"

He takes a moment to collect himself, and get some vomit out of his eye. "No no no, it's fine, this is fucking fine. I'm not going to let your bullshit ruin how I conduct myself.

"You! Redhead! I'm robbing you both, and I had better get some extra pay for the inhumane state your friend's subjected me to!"

Wow, lucky you. Someone you can kill with impunity. This is both an opportunity for you to practice your fire magic, and for her to practice her ressurection magic.

If you do that though, only do it a few times, as you have other things to do.

>>817051
wow, rude. What society are you from where an upstanding professional deserves to be murdered for doing the job he trained for?

Start ranting angrily and loudly to this asshole about the inhumane treatment you yourself have been put through this shitty day, and how the vomit he was subjected to is minuscule in comparison what you've been through, from being kicked out and stuck on a hill by your teacher, to being forced out of the school for months just to bake a dumb cake, to dealing with a zombie you had nothing to do with.
Besides, you've got nothing to pay with, no money whatsoever. You didn't have time to grab your things.

Really?
You don't have time for this.
Light him on fucking fire.

make a witty remark, then cast fire 2 at the general direction of his face. Actually, maybe don't do that, we don't wanna cause a forest fire.

You're in a forest, threaten to set him on fire, only actually do it if he attacks. Evelyn doesn't look to be in a state to spam ice spells to put out any fire you start.

Now you vomit on him!

1/2 Tavern 2017/07/22(Sat)21:29 No. 817696 ID: 6c9de1
File 150078414061.jpg - (66.64KB , 802x597 , WB9.jpg )

>>817287
You retch a bit, but can't manage to throw up anything!

The bandit brandishes his sword angrily. "What the fuck, you guys?! Stop fucking puking at me!"

>>817063
>"Oh come off it," you snap! "I've been through a lot worse than some vom today, alright?!"

>You go off, listing all the wrongs that have been done to you!

Your problems fall on deaf ears. "Do I look like I give a shit that you got suspended from some school, kid? I've got a job to do, here!"

>"I don't even have any fucking money!" you admit in exasperation. "We're broke! We got kicked out without our things!"

"Where does that leave me, then?! I've got a quota to meet for the week and your bullshit's gonna put me behind!"

>>817051
>>817077
>>817269
>>817053
You really, really want to just burn this asshole to a crisp, but it would probably be a mean thing to do to a professional.

"Fine, fine! You know what, I don't even want cash! That's fine!! Just gimme some collateral alright, like those fancy hats..."

AS FUCKING IF

2/2 Tavern 2017/07/22(Sat)21:45 No. 817697 ID: 6c9de1
File 150078510262.jpg - (81.23KB , 800x660 , WB10.jpg )

>>817275
>You screech and point your tome at him threateningly!! "I'LL FUCKING BURN YOU, YOU FUCK! I'LL BURN THIS WHOLE FUCKING FOREST DOWN IF YOU TOUCH MY HAT!!!"

"Calm down, geeze! What do you mean burn--?!!" The dipshit's face becomes a mask of horror as he realizes what he's dealing with. "Oh God, you're a witch! You're witches!"

>"Goddamned right! Move and I'll fucking kill you!!"

He drops the sword and stands as still as possible. "Just my fucking luck...! Look, I don't want any trouble, okay? I'm just trying to make ends meet, you know how it is, right?"

>"Give me ONE good reason not to turn you into bacon," you snarl.

"Y-you want some cash? I know people, okay? You uh, you said you're out of school for a couple months, right? I could take you into town, show you around! That's cool, right? Maybe get you an interview with my boss, land you a job? He's a witch too you know, a real one! Real strong you know, with all the familiars and demons and shit!"

A job, eh? from another witch? This is your ticket out of this dump of a school, and possible gain a new and better mentor who would not give up on you. Tell him to keep talking, your listening.

Tavern 2017/07/23(Sun)19:54 No. 817932 ID: 6c9de1
File 150086487080.jpg - (71.25KB , 800x665 , WB11.jpg )

>>817771
>Another witch, he says...? "I'm listening!"

"Y-yeah, the guy in charge of the banditry firm around here is a witch, a really good one! Him pulling strings is the main reason we haven't gotten shut down by the local lord, or those bitches from the forest--er, those witches, I should say....

"They say he's even stronger than a three starred sage, that's cool, right? And he's one of those rare summoner-types, he's got all sorts of demons and shit working for him. What someone like him's doing in charge of a local banditry firm who knows, but we all look up to him!"

>"And you know him?"

"Well, I don't know know him... B-but, my supervisor reports back to him! So I could set you up with an interview really easily! That's worth my life, right? Right...?"

Well, it can't be worse than being with your current mentor. Lets do it.

No. Sounds like more trouble than it's worth to me, your current mistress is a pain but is trying to teach you stuff, a witch that commands a bunch of bandits has no reason to since that'd give them competition. It's obvious that his guy is just saying stuff to try and save his skin anyway, tell him to scram and be on your way.

Fuck that.
Tell this guy to GTFO.

Better to rule in hell than serve in... also hell.

You've always wanted to be a mascot character for a band of irredeemable cutthroats!

1/2 Tavern 2017/07/26(Wed)06:05 No. 818541 ID: 6c9de1
File 150107430169.jpg - (98.42KB , 800x983 , WB12.jpg )

>>817996
>>818070
Becoming the cute witch mascot for a bandit gang does sound fun...

>>818068
>>818035
Buuuut the guy's probably bullshitting a lot to save his skin. Fuck that!

>"No thanks," you scoff, "now scram!!"

"Er, I can't really scram, my shift in this bush doesn't end till sundown..."

>"Then just stay there, we're going! C'mon, Evelyn."

The frail-ass witch stirs and staggers to her feet. "Hhhhhhhh.... C-can't...we sit....please....."

>"Get moving or I'll drag you by your hair again!"

"Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

2/2 Tavern 2017/07/26(Wed)06:23 No. 818542 ID: 6c9de1
File 150107540508.jpg - (90.99KB , 820x747 , WB13.jpg )

You reach Ovaine around midday with no conflict, save for the occasional kick to Evelyn's ass for dragging behind. It looks like a pretty lame place, but they say the best bakery in the country is around here...

"Hhhhhh..... I...can't...go on," Evelyn groans, tugging at your sleeve. "I'm dying.... I'm...hungry....."

>You shake her off and walk over to a nearby sign. "Chill, we'll get food after we figure out what's what!"

>>The sign seems to be giving directions to some of the town's main buildings...

>>>>"Mayor's Estate"
>>>>"Church of God"
>>>>"Grunwald Bakery"
>>>>"Roterwald Bakery"
>>>>"Jaeger's Guesthouse"
>>>>"Basar's Market"

Well, one of the bakeries right?
or if you go to the market you might be able to find a dropped coin or two to get some snacks.

introduce yourself to the mayor

>>818542
Ah yes the Roterwald Bakery. The perfect place to get started on magic cake!

>>818542
Bakery sounds like a good place to start. You could get some food for likely some basic work, and you'd probably get a chance to hone your fire-making abilities if you showed them off.

Heck, you might actually be able to bake that dang cake. Wins all around!

1/2 Tavern 2017/07/27(Thu)20:17 No. 818939 ID: 6c9de1
File 150121183336.jpg - (70.74KB , 840x771 , WB14.jpg )

>>818546
>>818777
>>818617
You grab Evelyn's hand and start marching toward the Roterwald Bakery. With luck they'll have a job opening, food, and the means to start mastering magic cake...

>>818606
You decide you'll pay the mayor a visit after you're through getting settled at the bakery.

Evelyn makes some weird-ass noise and points ahead of you. "H-hey... Look...!!"

Roterwald Bakery comes into view! On the eastern end of the village, it looks a little like the building you saw in the distance on the way in. You guess that must have been the Grunwald Bakery.

Someone's sitting out front. He doesn't move as you approach.

2/2 Tavern 2017/07/27(Thu)20:38 No. 818941 ID: 6c9de1
File 150121308124.jpg - (49.89KB , 600x800 , WB15.jpg )

The dude on the doorstep is dressed in an apron and padded pants. You guess from the grime covering him that he's an oven worker or something. His eyes are glued to yours as you come closer.

>"Hey," you start as you reach him. "Do you work here?"

"Do angels have names?"

>"I--what?"

The guy has this creepy squint going on as he looks you over. "A crimson spirit...nay! With such a countenance and sensual physique, it can be naught but a succubus. Heh! Perhaps my recipes have finally succeeded...."

>"The fuck did you call me?!"

He nods seriously as he continues to weird you the fuck out. "Peace milady, I know you're confused. Might I treat you to some earthly cuisine as we discuss the purpose for which I've called you to this plane?"

>>818941
Ooooookay...weird as FUCK.

But yo, free food is free food. You've been hanging around Evelyn this long, you can take a bit more weirdness.

>>818941
That mind control bracelet you're wearing is making it so you can't understand this creeper's real meaning.

He's calling you pretty.

Oh great, you've arrived at Breaded Buster's Children's Bakery and Fair, where wholesome families go to traumatize their kids with pedophile fuzzy golems and unrigged carnival games with rigged rewards.

Ask for a menu, buy what you want, and get out before this damages your brain.

He called you a succubus and he wants to feed you "earthly cuisine"
I think he's telling you to suck his dick.

Trade him Evelyn for a fuckload of pastries.

Wow. This Guy's an idiot.
Play along. Might learn something.

1/3 Tavern 2017/07/30(Sun)18:53 No. 819612 ID: 6c9de1
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>>818962
>>819052
You don't like this guy's vibe but you have made it this far dealing with Evelyn... You decide to humor him.

>"Uhhhh, sure. That'd be nice."

"Ahhhh, splendid, m'dear. Please, this way!"

He leads you into the bakery and down a flight of stairs. The oven room for this place is huge--you guess this is where most of their goods get prepared. There is an incredibly sus array of pastries sitting on a cloth in the middle of the floor.

"Welcome to the abode of Otto Roterwald," your guide announces. "Feel free to partake of the foodstuffs I made for your arrival."

2/3 Tavern 2017/07/30(Sun)19:00 No. 819613 ID: 6c9de1
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Evelyn tears the cake apart before you have a chance to get any, the bitch. You cautiously grab one of the pastries and take a bite. You can feel Otto watching you chew....

>>819016
The shit tastes good but you don't think it's worth losing your only minion over, especially not to some weirdo like this.

Otto clears his throat and squints even harder. "Now, I know explanations are in order," he says. "You see, to the other Roterwalds I am just a simple baker's apprentice. But in secret, I have been dabbling in the dark culinary arts.

"For the past three years my father has made me work here, I have worked to perfect the recipes needed to perform a true Culinary Summoning. I will admit, there were times I doubted myself. No ritual I've attempted so far has actually done anything.... But today, it all has payed off! Not one, but two demonic beings, eating of my cuisine, in my own home!"

>"Uhhhhh, we're not--"

"Oh, I know what you're thinking, milady. You are no powerful demon, just an average succubus. That too can be explained...."

The fucker's getting really shifty, fiddling with his apron and glancing around. "You see, madam.... In my quest to perfect the Culinary Summon, my goal was never great power or fame. Truth be told, I only hoped for, uh...companionship."

>"....What?"

"Companionship, milady! To attract a woman of peerless beauty, from a realm beyond my own! A rare creature only found in other planes.... One such as yourself, you see...."

3/3 Tavern 2017/07/30(Sun)19:02 No. 819614 ID: 6c9de1
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What

>>818974
W h a t

>>818986
N O O O O O O O N O N O N O N O N O

SLOW DOWN THERE, CHIEF
THERE'S BEEN SOME MISCOMMUNICATION HERE

Walk away. Do not interact further.

>>819614
...nope.

nope.

nope.

nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope

WE OUT

If he expects you to listen to him at all why didn't he bake binding bread? The aromatic pastry so fragrant that it leaves other worldly creatures helpless in its wake.
Come on man what is this amateur hour?

This guy can teach you demon cake... But
But.
At what cost?
Isn't there another bakery in town? Tell him you'll be right back and then leave. If he tries to stop you, burn him.

Alternatively you could just tell him to shut the fuck up for a minute and let you speak, allowing you to explain the situation.

On another note I think doing lewd things would negate the whole point of the correction charm.

Man, I dunno. You play this right, you've got another minion.
Obviously, you're not for lewding, but that's why you've got minion #1.

1/2 Tavern 2017/08/02(Wed)19:45 No. 820168 ID: 6c9de1
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>>819617
>>819618
>>819679
>>819621
YOU ARE L E A V I N G

>You abruptly stand and yank Evelyn up from the food. "UH... UHHH...."

"I know it is quite the unique deal I'm offering here, but--"

>"N O!!! NO NO, UH...." You inch over to the door and slowly open it. "I'LL THINK ABOUT IT! I'LL... I'LL BE BACK! LATER! NOT NOW!!"

"B-but the food," Evelyn mumbles around a mouthful of pastry.

>"NOT NOW!!!"

"I'll be here, milady," Otto says with a confused squint.

2/2 Tavern 2017/08/02(Wed)19:51 No. 820169 ID: 6c9de1
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You book it up the stairs and back to the bakery's entrance without hesitation! Christ, you feel dirty!

Evelyn takes another bite of the creep's ""earthly cuisine."" "Mfffff.... H-he seemed nice... I liked...the food...."

>You shudder and grip your arms. "SHHHH!! No more talking from you! And drop that fucking dessert! I've made a mistake...!"

>>819737
You really fucking hate that charm, but at least it helps keep you away from the likes of...that.

>>819643
This just makes it all worse, he was probably a fucking hack, too! You don't really know much about culinary summoning, but he was probably doing it wrong!!

>>819862
More minions are necessary if you want to make it big, but you're hesitant to try getting one at the cost of Evelyn's purity. A chill runs through you when you think of him finding ""companionship"" in that girl.... You're not entirely sure what to the best course of action is, here.

Evelyn utterly destroys your personal bubble and breaks your concentration, still smacking on that pastry. "Mfff...hhhhhhh.... Hey.... Y-you good...?"

"No, Evelyn. No, I am not."

>>820169
Nope. Let's get the hell out of here and pray the other bakery is half decent.

Oh yeah, been meaning to ask.

Is that splotch on your face just a birthmark or what?

RIP fuckload of pastries.

Fortunately, I am sure the OTHER bakery will be completely above board with no wacky circumstances.

>>820175
That's a bruise I think

>>820175
That would be a self inflicted burn.

Ok then next bakery.

1/3 Tavern 2017/08/07(Mon)16:43 No. 820987 ID: 6c9de1
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>>820171
>"No, Evelyn," you grate. "No, I'm not."

>>820174
>>820178
It had better be.... You speed back down the path with your minion uncomfortably close behind.

2/3 Tavern 2017/08/07(Mon)16:49 No. 820988 ID: 6c9de1
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You navigate your way through the town until you reach the west edge, where the Grunwald Bakery sits. You pray that you can just find a job here without further stress...

...And of course that can't just fucking happen, there's a fucking mob in front of the place jesus CHRIST

3/3 Tavern 2017/08/07(Mon)17:13 No. 820989 ID: 6c9de1
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What looks like every baker in the town is caught up in a fucking fight! Heads are getting split by cooking instruments all over the bakery's lawn! In the center of the action are two chefs wielding the biggest cutting knives you've seen in your life.

"Grunwald!!!" the one in the white apron bellows, "Your men will soon be defeated! Hand over the recipes, or die where you stand!!"

"I tell you, I don't have that goddamned book!" the other replies. "Leave us be, or your blood will water our superior grains!"

"You are a liar!! You will give us what is ours, or I will cut off your flour-crusted hands with my blade!"

Jesus, the fighting's getting worse down there and Grunwald's guys seem to be getting their asses kicked. At this rate heads will roll...

>>820989
Okay, no.

There's stupid and then there's STUPID.

Light up the biggest fire you have, get them to calm down and see what the ACTUAL FUCK is going on- because chances are if neither of them is copping to whatever this book is, then chances are decent neither of them have it. So go down there, do your best 'wrath of an angry, hungry god' impression, and let's see what bullshit's happening now.

It's a MANLY DUEL!

You cannot possibly understand the BURNING PASSION that is the heart of a baker! Honor and duty demand they rise to the occasion and take up arms in the name of what they believe in! Roterwald's men don't have a choice in this, nor Grunwald's men. None of them can be breakers of destiny, lest they give up on being bakers of bread.

But I'm sure that Roterwald will like to know that his good-for-nothing lecherous junior assistant is giving away the goods at the shop he was left to tend. That might distract him long enough for Grunwald to get his innings. And it's a lot safer than burning down the town or freezing a bunch of people.

Where is the popcorn? this is gonna be a good fight to watch. Whoever wins, you apply at.

I bet that creep that was giving away food is the one that stole the book.

Have your minion ask them if soufflés are really as fragile as the stories claim.
The sheer ignorance of the question should distract them long enough to come up with a plan,
My suggestion is that you rat out the apprentice's forbidden booty call baking, that will get rid of one of them at least.