K'orr 2015/02/01(Sun)08:46 No. 623117 ID: 0a1420
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Well? Are they there?

Should be, boss. I did the thing.

Right. Well. You kids are the- ah, ahem. 'Brains' of this operation, correct? At least the closest fucking thing I can find to one. I need to talk to you. About this whole fucking smouldering shitheap they've got running here.

Yo, pigtails said she'd be talking to you dudes soon. That shit didn't happen. Boss lady apparently had everybody runnin' around and doin' shit while I was out. We're settlin' in now. Been about two hours, no idea how long shit passes on your end. Anyway she took off my arm, made me a new face, gonna fix it on now, everything's cool.

... Are they talking to you, K'orr? Don't leave me hanging like this. It's fucking awkward. I have no fucking idea what's going on in your head.

Oh, yeah. You dudes are in my head. Seshe is the one you gotta talk to, but I'll repeat whatever shit you say to me. She can't do the thing, so I gotta do it for her. Goblins and magic. You know how that shit is.

They ain't said anythin' yet. I'll tell you when they do. Now let's do this shit.

Uh... Hello?

Nice to meet you... maybe...

What is your... exact goal?

Hey its good to see you again. Has been months since we saw you over here. Time moves differently between realities.

Looks like we got a visual upgrade as well. Everyone is showing up in gritty high def now.

So what do you need to know? Yes we know everything is a mess but we have not had 5 minutes to try and fix anything between various accidents and invasions. Honestly we are lucky no one has been turned inside out yet.

sup, been longer then two hours on our end I can tell you that much. So quick recap, last time you we just found you two, came back here to find the place trashed, and no one could see green (the walking corpse with a giant green ball of something for a head). Oh and that Vicky got caught up in the political game of the gods simply because one of them thought it would be funny and know one of the other gods is going to try very hard to murder her and everyone around here unless she can actually pull off the 'become a god' thing.

I miss anything or is there something else you wanted to ask?

It's rare when we can directly see out of our current connections eye's.

>>623117
How's the base? It was... a mess when we last saw you guys.

K'orr 2015/02/03(Tue)13:03 No. 623395 ID: 0a1420
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So, uh- they're saying that time an' shit works different for them, they've been away for months. Uh, they're tellin' us how A.A.E. is tryin' to kill us-

Yeah, no shit! We were fucking there! She talked to me!... The fucking bitch. Threaten me, call me a fucking traitor, see if I-

I ain't done, boss. An'- for what it's worth, they probably don't remember that shit, us bein' there, it'd be ages an' ages ago for 'em.

Fine, then continue.

At least one of 'em is new, askin' what's going on-

Well we're new to this shit too, kid. Got dragged into this shitheap. And honestly, don't worry about it- we're gonna toss all that older shit overboard. We're starting fresh.

Right- well I think one of the other dudes is filling him in anyway. And, uh. Last thing, they're saying they tried to fix shit before but they had no time between 'accidents and invasions'. And they're askin' 'bout the base.

Perfect! Exactly what I wanted to talk about. Alright, boys. Listen to me. I agreed to join this sinking ship because I figured, well hey. I'm gonna have people trying to kill me, crazy fucking nutjob cultists that fuck up my bo- bodyguard, and gods crashing down threatening to kill us and our shop exploding... I could use some extra protection. And it's the least these assholes could do, seeing as how they're behind it all. Except when we got here- surprise surprise, the place is a fucking dump, falling apart, total garbage heap. The others scattered like cockroaches, no fucking plan, no fucking organization. I had to leave K'orr so I could gather them up and sit their dumb asses down, figure out what the hell is going on- as I understand, they've been running around like, I don't know, like if real life was a fucking game of dungeons and dragons. Squatting in mansions, killing people, stumbling around with the dwarves, just... doing shit without shit for a plan. They tried to say it's just accidents, fate shepherding them around- you know what? I don't fucking believe in accidents. Only opportunities. And to have them waste all their goddamn time stumbling around...

That's fucking unacceptable.

I've narrowed down the problem. And it isn't you. Far as I can tell, you're doing as well as you could, given that you have no hands, no body, and got dumped into this shit as suddenly as I did. I can't blame you, you're not even from our world. But the other fuckers... see, we've got a dumb slut with pigtails, a smarter slut who spends all her time sucking her gods dick and hasn't set foot in the real world in decades, and a bipolar nutjob dwarf who's stuck two fucking centuries ago. Even Victor- he sounds really smart, his fucking flowery language and all, but I know him. It's a fucking act. He'll talk about how he's as old as the universe and immortal and all that shit- but he's only been standing upright and not chewing dirt for, like, five years. I've known him since he was pretty much a baby. He picks shit up quick, I'll give him that, but he's still fucking ignorant about practically everything. So between this band of merry dipshits, it's no fucking wonder this ship has no captain. Nobody here with vision.

But I, I have vision.

Stupid as they may be, we've got a set of powerful people here. We've got a clear goal. We've got clear motivation. And, although it's fucking tiny, we have a tiny little bit of an asset base to make this work. I've got big plans for this little project. Obvious plans. Plans that don't involve squatting in a fucking broken-down crack den. Plans that will move us forward. That'll turn our accidents into benefits, that'll make those invasions a minor nuisance, and put the power back in your hands. Plans that will put the whole world in your hands. In all our hands.

Are they listening in, K'orr? This shit's important. Tell me if they're asking questions.

Just 2, what's the fucking plan then and can anyone see the guy in the corner over there? If no to the second one don't worry about it just wondering because she didn't mention him in her list of fuck ups.

>>623395
What are your plans, Seshe? Near as I can tell we can to contact another god to boost Vicki's powers again. We could also set up some defenses here using resources easily available to us...

Alright, we'll need a status report on the details. What assets do you have (skills, inventory, intel, etc.), and how much do you know about the enemy?

Do you know where the others are or are you in the dark about their positions?

Hahaha bout time we get someone with a bit more head to their shoulders, typically we've been the ones who have had to deal with someone new and instruct them in the ways of the world but at least we do have some people with some thoughts on the matter beyond our own reproach.

However we will need to know the process, the plan, what we can do in order to fulfill the goal at hand here. I mean we've got assets but as it is we've had our metaphorical hands full, what exactly is it your proposing that will plant things down and grow bearing fruit?

Also are you doing well Korr? Unsure how often you would have some sort of surgery in this fashion.

>>623398
That's V-2. Victor accidentally cloned his mind into that green ball, which can control the dead body it's attached to.

>>623406
>>623398
V2 has memetic invisibility, remember?

>>623429
Oh right, I forgot. It's too bad V-2 can't understand spoken speech, because we could have K'orr say out loud we know he's here.

>>623406
I know it's V2 I'm just asking about him to see if he's still invisible to everyone or if that wore off by now.

>>623429
Wait, really? When did we find that out?

>>623501
remember when everyone was out trying to find Victor, Seshe, and Korrdark that we had him read Vickie's book to see how skilled he was with magic? It happened then. He's strong but lacks control so he kinda tore this place up even further and somehow made it so while not exactly invisible, nobody notices him now. Well nobody but us it seems.

K'orr 2015/02/04(Wed)10:01 No. 623509 ID: 0a1420
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One of you ask how am I doing? Well, shit... let me tell you what happened. See, when I came to and my face was all bleedin' an' shit, me and Seshe thought they tugged at my stitches a bit. That shit ain't nothing, but I could barely stand up or think straight. Turns out we were wrong, they injected some black shit in there, into my face and arm and chest. Some kind of flesh-eating parasite.

Yeah. I feel like shit. I was wobbling around like a goddamn child, leanin' on a woman half my size for support, 'cause of a papercut. You think I like looking like a pussy? Fuckin' goddamn embarrassment.

But now I know what's causin' the pain and it isn't some sissy minor shit, so I'm handling it. Still fuckin' embarrassing, I fuckin' hate hiding behind an excuse. But at least I wasn't goin' completely fuckin' soft. You know, I've been telling her I should ditch the arm for years. It's just holdin' me back, depending on drugs and shit. Finally got a chance to have it taken off. Much better. I can still punch people real fuckin' hard with one hand.

Boss, they want to know the plan, and they're asking about assets an' intel an' shit. And they keep talking about that guy over there-

Oh, god- they can see him too?! I'm not going crazy?

Who, boss?

Thank you- I thought I was going mad! You have no idea- that asshole has been trailing me around since I got here, and nobody wants to acknowledge him at all!

Who are you talking 'bout, boss?

That guy! The fucking green headed zombie guy!

What about him?

See?? K'orr fucking sees the green bastard, he'll mention he's there... and then he fucking drops it! Like some kind of hyper ADHD! He won't talk about him for more then a second at a time- literally, a fucking second. It's goddamn maddening!

Uh, boss?... Are we gonna talk about the plan?

>>623509
As I recall that green guy is another of Victors… happy accidents. It’s friendly as far as I know and it managed to talk with the blood lass and can talk with us. Keep it warm and it will be happy.

>>623509
Man, she's been straddling you fora good ten minutes since we woke up. Nice.
Also yeah, that's V2. He's uh, kinda Victor but not. Like, a mini-vic.
He's been helping to translate some of the book stuff, he can sort of reverse-engineer the spells in it.
He's cool, just keep him warm.

>>623509
uh, just tell her this
"he was made by victor and somehow casted a spell that doesn't make him invisible but makes it so everyone ignores him. As for why, well we wanted to see how well he could do magic but while powerful he lacked control"
don't really worry what we're talking about just tell her that so she calms down.

But yeah the plan. what is it?

He's friendly at least, just tell her the reason for that is because she's pretty much more immune to the magic thats affecting him right now.

But yeah plans, objectives, strong gobbo with the head on her shoulders leadin' the crew and all.

Ah, I just noticed something worrying. Your/our vision is getting redder. Are you okay?

>>623509
hey uh is your vision getting redder? Are you blacking out or something? Maybe you should get it taken care of, we usually don't vanish right away.

K'orr 2015/02/06(Fri)08:26 No. 623757 ID: 0a1420
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I'm doin' fine dudes, don't worry about me.

They keep tellin' me to tell you something, boss. Somethin' about Victor an' magic an' shit... We gonna talk about the plan or what?

You're trying to get K'orr to relay something, aren't you? Don't even bother, it's like talking to a big fucking dumb brick wall-

Woah, hey boss-

Shut up, K'orr. Look, I got the message. He's one of Victor's fucked up magic things, I take it. I wanted to know if I was going crazy or not, that's all. He seems harmless, just... fucking weird. Well, moving on. The plan.

Let's start from the beginning. Pigtails has to impress four more gods. That's the bigger goal here, right? You're not going to do it by squatting in a dump and running around like headless chickens. The other gods and goddesses are smarter then Baron is. And- and A.A.E. too. They're not gonna base their decision on stupid, dumb pointless shit. They're going to want to see what Pigtails can actually contribute. What her being a god will accomplish. See, not only that, but the gods are notoriously fucking hard to reach- one lives in a flying library that won't stay still- it's not like we can get a ticket on a fucking plane to meet him. One lives in the core of a goddamn volcano. One has a waiting list fifteen years long to meet her, and one is straight up lost.

Here's what we're going to do. You are going to pick what Pigtails will be. She's gotta claim an aspect. Can't be a goddess without one. It can be anything. She's got no spine that I can see. She can be molded. She could be goddess of war. Money. Luck. Coincidence. Sex- oh, sex is always popular, and the closest thing we've got to a love god is that fat disgusting asshole Baron. It doesn't matter what you choose, if she's naturally inclined or not- as far as I can tell, being a god is one percent born ability, and ninety nine percent presentation. And I don't think she's either fucking smart or worthy enough to pick an aspect out on her own. So pick it for her. I don't really give a single shit what you choose, my job's the next bit.

See, once you figure out her aspect, we're going to build a proper business around it. Victor was trying to do this, but he's basically a fucking child, he's got fuckall of an idea how to do things. I, on the other hand, understand the human bureaucracy. I know my paperwork. And I've been running a little hobby shop for too long. It's time that I put us back on top. What we build doesn't really fucking matter. She's a goddess of luck? We'll build a casino. She's a goddess of penance? A private jail. Both have advantages. A goddess of war would obviously have a mercenary army, a goddess of debate might have a powerful lobbying group. Either way, the power will be in your hands to make actual fucking choices. You have cultist fucks chasing you down? You hire a private police force, or deck the fire bastard out in black market military shit and send him out, or send Slutty Titsblood out in a fancy dress to brownnose politicians until they send their human military after them for you, or whatever the fuck you want to do. You want to meet a god? You can bully your way to the front of the line, or hire a private plane to track his fleeting ass down and land on his little fortress of solitude. The world becomes a whole lot bigger when you're standing on top of the pile.

And, I'll be rolling in my beautiful fucking stacks of sweet cash. We all come out happy, don't we?

We're going to need a place for this shit to go down in. We can find a new one. Buy it through the bank, like civilized people, instead of fucking barbarians that slaughter gangbangers and then squat in their dump. Or we could properly license, and then renovate this place. Whatever the case, there's no point talking about it now. We're going to need money for it. I've got a few thousand in stocks and savings- nothing substantial. I've invested only as a hobby since I got... since I relocated to the human world. Even my meagre savings are more then anybody else has got- they're all fucking flat broke. Except for one person. This is the part I love. Funbags has a debit card. A debit card to her god's personal bank account. Her god actually gave her full access to his fucking bank account. She didn't want to tell me that. I figured it out anyway. It makes her the world's richest fucking person, without a single goddamn trace of a doubt. But she refuses to spend more then a few dollars of it. She's worried her fat god will shove his fat hand up her fat ass and pull her trachea out through her bowels. But we're gonna need at least a million dollars before tonight's over, so I can set this plan into action. I think A.A.E. will fuck off when I'm calling the shots. But I can't be sure of it. If I have money, I can arrange short term protection until we're sure. Rent out a bunker, or buy some lawyers to speak with her on our behalf or whatever the fuck. You can either try and coerce the cash from Mrs. Tits, or you can rob a bank. I'll launder the cash. Or do some other shit. Doesn't matter. Get me the money before midnight. That's six hours.

Lord Baron 2015/02/06(Fri)08:26 No. 623758 ID: 0a1420
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Look at me, barging in. How rude. That's not gentlemanly behaviour. But I find this whole operation just too goddamn good to not stick my fingers in places they shouldn't be.

You know I'm seeing a fun little possibility in that little goblin slut's plan. What if she bolts with the money? Huh? You get her that cash, on such short notice, too. And she ditches this chump operation and makes a run for it. What a bitch that'd be. But the little green fucks are fickle. Liars. Shitheads. Thieves. And then you kids will have wasted all your limited time tonight. I'd hate to see the metal bitch go and trade shots with Vicki and the gang when her embargo lifts tomorrow.

Now I like you folks, so I'm gonna fill you in on a little secret. Everybody's a fucking liar. Everyone you're gonna meet is filled with schemes and deceit. I've been watching. And not a single one of the assholes you're helping hasn't lied to you at some point already.

Other then V-2. I fucking love this guy. Tell the worm I give him my compliments.

Life lesson number one- nobody's gonna tell you the truth. You want to get anywhere, you question everything. She'll tell you her own self-serving plans. You don't have to listen to a single fucking word. There are other choices. There are always other choices. You don't gotta listen to anybody if you don't want to. Be creative. And have fun.

K'orr 2015/02/06(Fri)08:27 No. 623759 ID: 0a1420
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Let's recap. My plan's simplicity defined. We need power to make meaningful decisions. Business gives power. We need a business, so have Vicki choose a path and stick to it. Short term, we need money for capital. The more the better, but I could scrape by with a million or so. You get me the money, and I will lead this little gaggle of abortion rejects up to their place in the sky.

K'orr, are you doing alright?

Well shit boss, it's a bit hot. You're burning my fuckin' face off.

I know I am bay- bb - bb,-- bodyguard. Just- just hold tight, we'll be done soon.

>>623759
You guys do know we've known from day one of meeting you you guys were a thing, right? We really don't give a shit. It's kinda cute, honestly.

Man as if watching through the eyes of someone getting their FACE reattached and now we get a sudden god vision, though I certainly love that guy, no bullshit about it he just states what he states.

Though by this point everyone's a liar, leading liars lying later.... Maybe a goddess of Deceit, The Deciever.

As it is though, her plan seems simple but at the same time it certainly has a few things that need to be clarified considering such, what exactly is she planning with said cash, yes she 'needs' it but however the fact of if she had that much in her pocket she could just skidaddle on out of here and try and protect herself without giving a damn on the rest.

Okay... you have access to the world's largest bank account, but you can't withdraw more than chump change for food, or the account holder will simply cut his losses and hire an army of mercenaries to butcher your entire squad.

Yeah, I'd say that you actually have a shot at this. I mean, that's still one hell of an asset.

Here's my plan: Pull off a major heist. Nothing public; take on an excessively dangerous but low-profile request, assassinate a gangster and excavate his house or something. Then just have your friend "accidentally" withdraw a couple million dollars. She'll claim that she couldn't automatically cancel the request because of bank bureaucracy, but will suddenly return with more than the amount she withdrew. She claims that there was some kind of fucked-up error, the account holder will likely not care because he's too rich to worry about holding extra money (he is literally the richest person in your world and therefore earning more won't have much influence on his PR). She then claims that she needs to pay back the people she "accidentally stole from and placed in the world's largest bank account like an idiot" and can now withdraw laundered funds, on the pretense that she angered the wrong people and needs to pay off their debts. If the account holder worries that she will need to withdraw more than she deposited to deal with interest, she can claim that she screwed up bad and needs to deal with the interest herself.

Now, I know what you're thinking: don't they track the serial numbers of a paper trail, especially with the world's largest bank account? Well, you'll just have to time this right. Have your friend observe the bank's transactions. When she has to make a large purchase, she can do some drama at whatever party the account holder is hosting to mark the event and perform a transaction error like it was almost purely accidental. You can also re-launder the money, since it's still yours.

So, the plan is:
1. Perform a heist.
2. "Accidentally" withdraw millions.
3. Immediately (within a week) return the millions plus the amount earned from the heist. Claim that the extra deposit angered a local semi-honest businessman.
4. Withdraw the extra funds on the pretense that the businessman who the funds belong to feels disgusted that his success story was stolen and used to make the world's richest man slightly richer.
5. To be safe, launder the funds a second time through large purchases and upgrades.

Sound good?

...Not going to lie Seshe, I like your drive. You're the first person here that actually seems like they know what they're doing. But there is a problem. Let's say we just snapped our fingers and the money just falls into our lap. How are we going to use that? I heard everything you just said but we have less then 24 hours to do all that shit you said so even IF we got the money we'd still need time to set it all up. So if any of us want to live long enough for any plan we have to work, we're going to need to get creative, find a way to buy us more time, or more then likely both.

That being said I think I remember that there were dwarven extremist somewhere or something and you might know something about them. We have you, a dwarf that was THEE fucking go to guy during the industrial age, a blood mage that works for a fucking god, and 2 powerful but unstable magic users. We could probably make something they'd like. Do you think you could get them to do jobs for us in exchange for us building things for them? I know you want money but like I said we'r very short on time and to pull any of this shit off we all need to do 10 things at once with little to no fuck ups. We can sell them things for cash or say we'll give them things if they do something for us. Not perfect but it could buy us time. Before I go into what I have planned for them though I need to know if you could actually get into contact with them. Oh and also while we're doing shit on our end could you maybe set up some simple traps around this place like you did in the woods? I ask because if we run out of time and AAE shows up to say hi I'd like at least something to slow her down. I'll ask firebeard if he can pitch in as well next time I see him.

OH and as for vickie, I was thinking she'd make a good god of chance. Why chance, well it was chance that she found that book, it was chance that victor became her friend, it was chance that we showed up, Everything that has happened to her has been chance. Because like you said she doesn't have a damn clue what she's doing so everything she's done from buying the book to now has just been her running around and everything she has accomplished has all happened because of chance. Plus it leaves us more working room when trying to turn a buck. Like those dwarf extremist, if we can get a hold of them we could give them a chance to compete their goals.

>>623758
so everyone one is lying to us but V-2. Makes me wonder what the Baron is lying to us about. I mean he did just say that EVERYONE but V-2 has lied to us. But he does bring up a good point. We're on a sinking ship here and we need to make sure everyone does what they can to make sure we all stay afloat and not just abandon ship because they think they're working for a lost cause

Well this is disturbing. What is she doing exactly?

I think it is time to switch over to someone else. We should think over the plan a little bit more and check on every one else.
>>623784
She is putting his mask back on, it came loose.

>>623759
If that slip-up didn't confirm my suspicion you two were an item, I have no idea what does. I had a feeling ever since you guys didn't part ways in the forest.
Regarding the plan, though, in any other situation, getting the cash seems like a solid idea but now? These aren't some mortals that can be fended off by highly trained guards or are some mundane people that can be bribed; They're gods. While a business would certainly help, if little miss I-wanna-be-a-god makes a mistake, we're all screwed, assuming you have no backup plan.
And lastly, while we do not think of you as a thief, it would be in everyone's best interest if you swore not to run off with this money should an opportunity to take it arises.

K'orr 2015/02/09(Mon)11:38 No. 624251 ID: 0a1420
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Woah, hey, I'm ain't the one tryin' to pretend. You dudes never asked me. Man, I know it's obvious. You know it's obvious. She's the only one out of the loop. I ain't gonna stress her out about it. She's adorable like this, anyway. Fuck you, I'm not tellin' her.

You dudes talk about like a dozen fuckin' things at once, huh. Confusing as shit. So, dwarven radicals. I'll bring it up with her, but she ain't gonna be happy about it, man. She said she was gonna ignore that contract, right? An' she never fuckin' ignores a contract- tells me that she really doesn't wanna do that shit, unless she has to. Goblins and dwarves don't get along. I mean, shit, goblins don't get along with anyone, but they really don't get along with dwarves. Besides, they ain't gonna be able to fund everything we need. A bit of it maybe, but she said she needs loads more. An' favors- shit, we got enough muscle, man. I mean, look at me. I'm all the fuckin' muscle you need. We gotta get more brain, not brawn.

I'm gonna assume that shit you're whispering about Baron an' visions an' shit makes sense between you dudes because I've got no fuckin' idea about any of that shit. But I ain't lying. Seshe ain't either.

Those ideas for makin' cash are great an' all, but you're gonna wanna talk with the girl with the card for that whole plan. No use explainin' it to me. I'll give you dudes to Boobs... Boobs Buttlady.. fuck. Man, Seshe is way better at makin' names up then I am. Whatever, I'll send you to the blood mage girl. And you should talk with her about that godhood shit too. I punch, that's my job. I'm not a fuckin'... god decider guy.

Man, I like that 'deceiver' shit though, that's badass.

Yo, Boss. They're sayin' they can't trust you with all that cash. You could take it and bolt.

I- ... actually, they have a point- I could do that. I wouldn't trust any of those jackoffs out there with my money... Fuck it. I got an idea. It'll drag me down, but fuck it. You trust Pigtails, right? Put the cash in her account. I'll drag her worthless dead weight ass around and let her be my card bitch. For tonight only. You want me to run this shit long term, you're gonna have to give me the keys. Or else I am bolting.

They're also askin' why you need this cash. How it's gonna help, if A.A.E. isn't gonna be scared off by guards or whatever.

Right, exactly, which is why I didn't suggest guards, did I? My two step plan was thus: A, we find and squat in a bunker. Just for now. Something sub-dwarven, deep deep underground. She could bunker-buster the place, but I doubt she's willing to penetrate two populated cities just to reach us. She's the goddess of order, after all. It gives us some time before she can mobilize more subtle weapons. Problem is I have no idea where any bunkers are. That military shit isn't exactly common knowledge. I know where I can wave cash around to find someone who will point us in the right direction, but I need the money for bribes. Either that, or we could try fortifying this place. It's already got a hefty basement. We can hire an earth wizard to pile a mountain on top of this place before tonight, but that shit costs big money too. Everything costs money, it's why we need to set this shit up right so it can start flowing in.

Second, B, we hire lawyers. Good lawyers, lawyers used to debating with A.A.E., are not cheap. Not to mention the cost to get a private session with her- she can be reached online, but it'll take a small fucking fortune. But if we shell out, they will change her mind. She's extremely predictable- she'll listen to reason and accept their argument as long as it's valid and worded properly, and me being in the group is definitely a push towards order. I'm absolutely sure they'll get through to her.

That good enough for you dudes? Am I sendin' you to that blood chick?

Never thought a Lawyer could change an actual gods mind, but hey it's not an example that comes up often.

But yeah, Pigtails Piggy Bank sounds like an acceptable offering, would allow us to see where the moneys going since we could be with her during that period and check things.

I can't think much else, send us to Blood Boobs K'orr.

>>624251
oh my god that's fucking hilarious, lawyers or more frightening the gods. I fucking knew it. But yeah the thing with the dwarves was to give them a bomb or something, have them find somewhere important to AAE and have them try to blow it up. From what I've seen of AAE she is heavily relent on machines. Not sure how much cause I know jake shit about gods but I figure if we can gum up here infrastructure a bit she'd have to devote time and energy try to clear it up and say, not trying to murder us horribly. Hell since we have more then just you two now we could even send someone else so they don't know they're dealing with a goblin. But yeah any reason we couldn't try both plan A & B? I mean if we throw lawyers at AAE to the point where the paperwork alone would form an indestructible barrier from here that doesn't mean she couldn't try for an indirect approach or possibly anyone else from try to off us. Like other gods or other people trying to become gods think that taking care of us will win them favor with the other gods. If we have to chose one over the other though I like the bunker idea. Hell we might even be able to shave some money off the top if firebeard knows a bunker for us to crash in. I mean it sounds like he has been on the run for a while so he might know some places for us to hide for a bit.

Also I can't see shit in this mask.

>>624251
This plan does make sense. This means our next objective is to find a bunker. If we're very lucky, Firebeard might know where one is already. Or he could just tunnel down and make one for us with his ridiculous fire magic. That'd save a bunch of money!

Oh, dude, you should know the Baron didn't say WHAT people were lying to us about, or if it was anything important at all. He could've been referring to Seshe pretending you're not her boyfriend, or something similarly minor you lied to us about. White lies are still lies, after all. Personally I'm not worrying about it, I never trust anyone completely anyway.

Send us over to the shapely not-assassin.

Lawyering up definitely sounds like a better medium-long term solution. Hiding in a bunker only works until A.A.E. can deploy something nasty that can tunnel.

We need our own army. Nothing serious, just a few ruthless operatives and a hacker.

You can't expect anti-warhead bunkers to be built without some kind of killswitch these days, especially when those in power are nigh-unkillable and want things to stay the way they are. We need people who can tell if we're looking at an anti-Armageddon bunker and when we're looking at a @#$%ing pyramid.

I'm thinking we join a heist, and offer jobs to teammates after we get the cash.

In Transit 2015/02/11(Wed)11:06 No. 624684 ID: 0a1420
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Dudes, I think it's more 'cause she's the goddess of rules an' shit. I mean none of the others are gonna put up with lawyer's shit. An' I thought Seshe was wanting to do both of 'em, but we gotta get serious dosh in for that, y'know? Unless that little dwarf dude really can dig out a bunker... still need cash for that other shit tho'.

Well, talk to you guys later.

Ava 2015/02/11(Wed)11:07 No. 624685 ID: 0a1420
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[[...through everything. I could not possibly focus and collect my magic through a simple rune when it is already clouding-]]

Ah- excuse me! Sorry to interrupt, but the guides are here.

Hey! Good evening. How are you? Victor and I were just talking about magic.

[[Unfortunately our perspectives are so vastly different that we are not making a great deal of headway.]]

Apparently we should also be discussing how impolite it is to poke around in other people's heads.

[[I'm sorry.]]

Oh, it's alright! I'm messing with you. I mean, I like to do it too. It's fascinating what people think about when they think nobody else is watching, isn't it?

But- that's all completely beside the point. We're just sitting here, wasting time. Victoria ran off and barricaded herself in a room, Firebeard is down in the basement, demanding nobody disturb him. The- the goblin is off doing her little home surgery with her ork friend.

[[It has left us without a great deal to do. Seshe explicitly told us to sit tight and wait for her, while she talked with you.]]

So? What's the deal?

Just got done talking to the goblin through the ork... And also the Baron who stopped to say hi. Oh and victor he tells us to tell you that he really likes how V-2 came out and that we should pass that message along.

But yeah Goblin girls has some plans that actually might save our ass. Plan one it to find a old military bunker under the city or to hire an earth mage to bury this place so AAE would have to nuke the city before she got to us which we were told was unlikely or to hire some good lawyers and throw them at AAE to get her to back off. Both plans require mad cash though and not only do we need to get the cash but spend it to get what we want before our timer runs out and AAE guns for our heads again. So if either of you got an idea on how to get lots of cash quick please speak as goblin girl said we should just hit a bank. Oh also we need to speak to firebeard soon. We just need to see if he knows of any bunkers since most of the money for plan bunker was to bribe someone into telling us where we could find one so if he knows a place that would smooth things over a bit.

Also good to see both of you again, I know it's only been two hours for you but it's been months since we talked last.

Oh and the idea of using your access to the Barons credit card came up as a source of quick funding.

Now the Baron did not specifically say anything about this plan when he stopped by but I think he would be ok with us using it for seed money as long as we paid him back eventually and whatever we do with it entertains him.

Honestly he seems like the sort of guy who would make someone win the lottery just to watch what sort of mess they made with the money.

But you know him better than we do so let us know what you think about that one.

>>624685
Ava, you know the Baron didn't give you that card for you to not use it, right? On the other hand he probably doesn't want you to use it for BORING things. Let's get some cool shit alongside the money we need for the plan!

Okay, here's the deal: right now, you have the most valuable asset on the entire team: full-access to the world's largest bank account. What the hell was your boss sniffing when he thought about giving ANYONE the right to withdraw - OR DEPOSIT - ANY amount of cash in his bank account, especially given that he's allegedly the richest person on the planet in terms of assets and financial supplies?

Because right now, you have a lot of options to deceive some six-figure pocket change out of his fence.

My plan is: if you can't just take the money out of his bank (because he would probably just cancel your access and hire thousands of mercenaries to butcher you), why not put the money IN first? Your squad performs a heist or assassination, makes raw funds, and you can launder them through the world's largest bank account!

You know your boss. You know how to feign a screw-up. Make some transactional errors (mistype some digits, pretend to get drunk or something, put your PDA where some random cloudcuckoolander can find it), and deposit money that your team has stolen from their latest heist. And then make some excuses to withdraw the exact funds you deposited, like paying back from whoever you stole.

What kind of idiot would throw accusations of money laundering at the richest person on the planet? And that's how we do this. We don't steal from your boss, we borrow his account because he gave you full and uninhibited access. By the time someone finds the illegal funds in his account, they're likely to guess that your boss sold his seventh mansion to a corrupt CEO or something.

If not, then there should be SOMETHING that you can do with that bank account. We're talking about rational boarders being crushed by the sheer volume of that account, here.

Ava 2015/02/12(Thu)12:55 No. 624867 ID: 0a1420
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[[Who, exactly, is V--]]

Victor, buddy, I- I, ah, don't mean to be rude, but I'm gonna need you to shut up for a minute please.

She told you about the card. The- the- the fucking goblin told- she wasn't even supposed to know about the card!! Nobody should know about it! I should never have- it doesn't matter- it- but it's a very serious thing! L-let me explain, please, it's... my Lord, the god of chaos, could have given me the card for any number of reasons. Literally anything under the sun! It, it, it's what he does, fuck with people. He- he could be testing me. He could have done it for a laugh. Or, or he's waiting for me to touch the money and then he'll- he won't send out mercenaries, he's a fucking fifty foot tall god! He'd, he'd flay my skin off and stretch it on his, his skin table, it's...

We can launder money through the account, I'm fine with that, he won't mind! Nobody will question it! We don't even have to lie or anything- he's the god of chaos! It's what he does, everyone expects it! There's nothing wrong with adding dirty cash, and maybe even giving him a little for interest, b, but withdrawing- I, I mean, if he isn't okay with it... and, and there's no tricking him! There's no lying to him! He's listening. Right now! He's listening to every word, I know he is!

M-maybe it's nothing, and you're right, and he does want me to use it, and create chaos, but- I, I don't know... I've seen what he does! When he stops smiling, he's.... I don't... I don't want to test him, okay? If, if it turns out he does care, then it's not you who's going to be paying the price, is it?!

huh, I was against using the card just because I thought that would have been to easy but I thought he'd hit us with some kind of catch that would force us to do a thing for him, not flay someone alive. I mean once they're dead where does the fun go. Oh and he is lessening, he froze time about 5 minutes ago to tell us a thing so yeah we can confirm that he's lessening. But back to the first topic, any of you know how to make a lot of cash quick? Oh and you guys were talking about mind magic, any of you got mind control? Just see what we got before we commit to anything.

By that logic, he may be waiting for you to actually use the card or else he may flay you alive if you don't...

Wait Skin Table? Like a bunch of stretched out skin with faces and eyes and mouths looking up from it? We've seen that before, if briefly.

>>624867
Yeah alright if you're so worried, come up with another way to get AAE off our back. A way that doesn't involve hiring expensive lawyers with the chaos god's money. We'll give you half an hour. Meanwhile I think we better check on Victoria.

Honestly there is a reason he did not come to you and say yes or no. He wants to see what you do. It's no fun to just order you to do something. You have to do it of your own free will.

That's why he enjoys watching what we do. He can't threaten us or hurt us in any way and we cause chaos just by talking to people. You know how hard it is to find people who are not intimidated by you when you are a god?

Ultimately the choice is yours. We might prod you a bit but feel free to ignore us. If you do decide its a good idea let us know.

But just on the off hand chance. "Hey Baron do you mind if we borrow some money from you?" "I can't promise we will not waste it all on bumbling plans but we don't want to give your girlfriend a ulcer."

Ava.

Your friends are likely going to DIE if you do nothing.

Take a chance or quit, or some other options that we haven't thought of. Your choice.

Ava 2015/02/16(Mon)11:18 No. 625301 ID: 0a1420
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I... well- we did only met yesterday- on my God's orders, actually- I mean, we're not exactly closest friends-

[[Really? That's... shocking, Ava. It's alright with you if we die, then. We did after all, only just meet.]]

N- no! I--

[[You're reacting rather poorly to all of this. And I think the guides are in agreement with me on that.]]

I-... I'm sorry! ...m, maybe I am a little too paranoid about this. I'm- making a fool out of myself, aren't I..? Let- let me try this again, please.

I'm a little.. touchy about my card because it is a dilemma. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to use it, or not, or what my Lord has in mind. It.. it's a bit of a mindfuck. My Lord does... love those.

You, ah, you did have at least one other idea you mentioned. The bank robbery? I've done much worse. I could rob a bank. At least, I think so. I'm not exactly an expert at it. I've gone to them now and then, to do finances for my Lord, but I hardly know how they're set up or run or anything. And I've been away from common life for decades, I am a little out of touch in terms of advances in security and protocol. Still... if I was given a leader, someone who knew how to use me, I'm sure I have the tools for the job. I can see men through walls, render men defenceless, hide in small crevices, withstand multiple bullet wounds, control people-

Oh, speaking of! One of you asked if I could do that? Control minds? That's not really my field- I work with flesh and blood, not minds- but I can control bodies. If I can get close enough to make a few little cuts, I can jerk them around like puppets on my strings. The problem is they still know what's happening to them, and eventually I'll have to let them go, memories of my use of them intact... unless I kill them when we're done with them.

[[If I may interrupt? I realize the hypocrisy in my objections to this- I did, after all, murder an entire group of people to acquire this house- it was not a particularly pleasant experience for me. And it's not something I'd want to actively seek out and repeat. I think we should perhaps consider less immoral alternatives before we go robbing banks, or enslaving people and killing them.]]

Still, that's at least another other option...

[[An unideal one.]]

We can brainstorm more, Victor. And it'd give us something to do, right?

Guides... did you have anything else to mention to us? Or am I sending you to Miss Vicki, while we think it over?

Go ahead and send us over.

Just remember that getting a large amount of resources in under 24 hours is tricky. There are almost no ways to get that sort of money without breaking laws.

With our group mercenary work seems like the most likely option in the semi legal realm. We do have a lot of talented powerful people here. If we could find someone willing to pay us to do a dangerous job and quickly it could be a option.

>>625301
Well, it seems that our own rational choices are context-dependent on the clients that we take on. If there is no need to kill anyone in a scenario, some of us will opt for a non-lethal route while others will suggest violence, betrayal, and strategy. But in situations where violence appears to be the best solution and the client is not adverse to lethal takedowns, some of us suggest effective combat strategies while others try to treat any post-traumatic stress disorder. Same goes for you, I guess: you don't normally like killing, but under the circumstances and orders of your boss, you felt that it was a rational course of action. Your opinions shifted once the context changed, so that makes sense.

Alright. You still need a @#$%-ton of assets, but you have more than enough options. Take on jobs, do dangerous stuff, assassinate high-value enemies, raid temples and abandoned buildings, flash your card and intimidate loan sharks into relinquishing their assets back to their debtors. You have the skills and assets to make this work.

I suggest you tell us more about the situation you're currently in, and the world around you. The more we have to work with, the more we can analyze and plan. Right now, we don't know enough; this network has been disconnected for YEARS, and a lot of us are new to this scenario.

Ok so the way it seems right now is we have a card with no limit but that's to be used as a last LAST resort and one idea to make cash quick. Can't really think of anything else right now but I'll let you or at least someone know if that changes. Other then that yeah you can send us over and also it was good talking to the two of you again. Like I said it's been awhile on our side.

>>625301
Hang on, we need to talk to you about Vicki. She needs to choose an Aspect, or more than one even. Any ideas? Know of any restrictions? Do we have to worry about stepping on the toes of other gods there?

I was thinking maybe she could be the goddess of death, birth, and rebirth.

Ava 2015/02/19(Thu)11:55 No. 625644 ID: 0a1420
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Okay, those are both important points. Before we send you off, we should answer those. Uhm... you've been here since the beginning, Victor. Do you want to elaborate on the situation a little?

[[If you insist. I will need to give it some thought first. Go ahead and begin.]]

...Well, alright. I'll start on the bit about godhood, then.

I only know as much as my Lord tells me- but as far as I am aware, there aren't too too many restrictions. A few hundred years ago, there were dozens and dozens of gods, each one comfortably filling a niche. Again, there may well be details I do not know about- or my Lord may have simply lied to me- but, as I understand it, there are only three big rules.

One, the chosen aspects can vary from each other, but they cannot contradict- death and birth probably wouldn't work. Two, although it isn't a given, it's pretty likely that another god will rise in opposition- like my Lord, and that metal bitch. And three, you can't take an aspect of another god without killing them first. I don't fully understand the details, but as I understand it, the god will become their aspect and control it... my Lord Baron is magic itself, because he made himself that way. It's... difficult to explain. I don't think it really matters right now, anyway.

By the way- I would- really not recommend the birth position. It is- uhm... similar to my Lord's domain of pleasure. Yes--! He wouldn't care for it.


Since it's apparently been awhile on your end, let me remind you of the gods and their domains.


Lord Baron, my Lord, is master of Magic, Chaos, and Pleasure.
All and Everything, the metal bitch, is mistress of Machines, Order, and Duty.

Heron is master of Knowledge, Air, and Water.
Hammersong is mistress of Skill, Earth, and Fire.

The Queen of Dreams is the mistress of Dreams, Charity and Life.
And the Pariah, also known as the Dreamstealer, is the master of Nightmares, Theft and Death.


Anything else is really fair game. There's a lot to choose from. You could also try and take over a claimed aspect, but it's a lot harder.

Ava 2015/02/19(Thu)11:55 No. 625645 ID: 0a1420
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[[Are you finished? Let me begin, then. My roommate and friend, Vicki, has managed to put us all in a very awkward position through her own rash actions and abject stupidity. Essentially, she abruptly put herself on the path to godhood without any plan, forethought, or reason- attracting the patronage of the god of chaos, and the ire of the goddess of order. We are now stuck on this awkward path, as Lord Baron has pledged to kill us if we do not move forward, and A.A.E. has pledged to kill us if we do not move back. Our immediate goal is to try and figure out a way to protect ourselves from A.A.E.'s wrath as we continue forward.]]

[[We have a great deal of wealth in magic- Ava is a talented blood mage, traditionally known for being assassins due to their familiarity with the human body- although I make no judgments on her character. So far, for the most part, she has proved herself helpful and friendly. With only a few exceptions.]]

Are you mad at me? I said I was sorry!

[[Ahem. We have a very talented, if rather bipolar and strange little fire mage, who was once known as one of the most powerful and respected industrialists in the world a hundred and fifty years ago. We have a goddess aspirant in Vicki, who has been blessed with Lord Baron's gift and subsequently has a habit of destroying everything around her by accident with her overwhelming and uncontrolled sudden power. And we have myself - if Lord Baron is the embodiment of magic, I am the source of it. Or a source, one of many. I can manage many things, but I have very little control over my own abilities. I simply point at things and watch as they explode, or burst into fire, or turn into bees.]]

[[We are also in possession of two powerful, and extremely valuable, tomes of magic. As well as this wreck of an abandoned goblin mansion that we stand in, now. That about covers our entire base of assets.]]

[[In short, we have a great pool of magical resources to draw from, and a very small puddle of anything else. Except, I suppose, for the books- hmm. The difficulty there is that, technically, they belong to the human government and our ownership of them is considered illegal. It makes reselling rather difficult... but perhaps not impossible--]]

Wait-!! One of those books is mine--!!

[[It was yours. Did your Lord not instruct you to give it to us?]]

I-- ... yes? I suppose he did...

[[Then it is ours to do with as we please. And in the current situation, it may be more practical for us to sell them for the monetary value then use for magical learning. If we could find a buyer...]]

[[The difficult part of your question was deciding how to best explain our world in brief. I do not have much knowledge about your world, so I am not sure how to compare the two. Hopefully you will be able to understand this- in the human dominated section of the world we are currently in, the most recent advance was a thing the humans call the internet. Through linking together computers, which almost every family owns at least one of, it allows the humans across this entire continent-spanning city to speak with each other and share information instantly. It also connects them to select portions of the rest of the world, particularly the elves and the richer dwarves.]]

[[We have instant access to the other races and their lands through the leylines, but the other races- that is, the elves, dwarves, orcs, and goblins- are either roughly equal to the humans or lesser, in terms of progress. Except, of course, the goblins. And a goblin would sooner strangle the one man he loves most- himself- then allow an outsider within one hundred meters of the front door without a gallon of liquid plasma melting his face off his skull.]]

alright question for Ava. if we gain the favor for one god does that mean the other is going to want our head right off the bat like how AAE wanted to gut us simply because the Baron thought it would be fun to through Vicky a bone? Because if so I thought we had to get the favor of all the gods but one to be considered a god. Unless AAE and the baron are just an extreme case.

Victor. We are not selling the books. While yes they could give us a lot of cash they are also a great source of power that could bail our asses out of a fire down the road. That and if we try to sell the things through shady markets I get the feeling someone will simply try and take the damn things though force and we got enough shit on our plate without piss ant thugs added on.

So right now we have rob a bank and sell the books for get rich quick plans. Well keep asking around to see if anyone else has any ideas and come to a decision then.

>>625645
Wait, the internet is a recent invention? How good are their search engines? Are there any websites that offer website-making services? Are there any social networking sites? What do people use the internet for mostly? Porn?

We are familiar with an advanced stage of internet use, and this knowledge could allow us to start up a *very* successful business. All we'd need is a computer.

We will have to decide on godhood later, though I am in favor of something along the line of Fools, Deceit, Hope, or luck.

Considering that most of those things are pretty much done by Vicki, Decieved Victor and started this whole quest, the foolishness of her actions, and the hope given through the actions... Or luck, considering how much we've gained just from all that we have.

Fools, Luck, Hope, or something along those lines.

>>625666
I wouldn't say "advanced." I would say that internet has been growing increasingly more popular for about 25 years, before which it existed in expert-only obscurity. Do you guys use internet that piggybacks on telephone lines, still, or has it progressed past that?DSL piggybacks on telephone lines, too, but it uses the range of frequencies beyond those used for vocal communication, so you can have a phone call while using the internet, and you also get more bandwidth.

How advanced are cell phones? Do you guys have cell phones yet? They're telephones that you can use in most locations, without needing a hard-wire connection.

Ava 2015/02/23(Mon)10:28 No. 626287 ID: 0a1420
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[[I am afraid I know next to nothing about the internet, beyond the fact that it exists. I am very unsuited towards using them, as I do not have hands, an integral part of interfacing with them that humans tend to take for granted. And when I had a substitute set of digits, they were rather too large and bulky to be able to use a keyboard. While there are alternatives, they are also developed with humans in mind- I cannot actually speak for instance, as my mouth is rather rudimentary, to be perfectly frank. These words are merely an illusion I perpetuate for the benefit of others. A speech-to-text program, as an example, would be unusable. Vicki did everything relating to computers and the internet for me.]]

The last time I was out in society as a little girl, computers were these giant bulky things that you read about in books. As far as I knew, they were only good for solving complex math. I've seen them now, I understand they're much smaller, but this is the first time I've even heard about the 'internet'. We are possibly the two absolute worst people in this group to ask. At least about computers! About the gods?

My Lord's rivalry with A.A.E. is unique. Hammersong and Heron get along surprisingly well; they seem to be more concerned with seeing each other more often then they are concerned about trying to tear out each other's throats. And while the Queen of Dreams would probably love to take the thorn of the Pariah out of her side, she's much too busy to give it any attention at all. The Pariah, for his part, is perfectly content to stay hidden in the shadows and out of her sight. It's only my Lord and the metal bitch that share a deep, bitter, mutual hatred of each other. At least that I know of! I don't claim to know the other gods personally, I have only spoken with them from time to time on my Lord's behalf.

[[That about exhausts our line of conversational topics. Would you send them to Vicki, please?]]

I- of course. See you soon, guides.

In Transit 2015/02/23(Mon)10:29 No. 626288 ID: 0a1420
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Again, I'm sorry Victor! I didn't mean what I said. I was tense, I wouldn't

Hi Vicki...How are you holding up?

sup... what are you looking at?

That's a thousand yard stare if I ever saw one.

So what horrible things have been happening in your life in the last few hours?

You okay?

>>626289
Hey Vicki, what is your favorite thing? Object, activity, concept?

>>626289
Yo vickster, did someone hit you with the concept of Victor using his whole body as a dildo or something? Snap out of it.

Vicki 2015/02/24(Tue)08:33 No. 626405 ID: 0a1420
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OH GOD--

Oh- ff, fuck, you are waaay too close for me right now. I- I can't...

I- I- I don't understand why everybody isn't freaking out right now, we're all gonna die in like six hours and the clock's ticking and nobody has a plan! I don't want to die! I want to go back! This was all stupid and now we're all gonna die!

Vicki 2015/02/24(Tue)08:33 No. 626406 ID: 0a1420
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W- wait. What... what was that about Victor being a giant dildo? Where the fuck did that come from?

Vicky, chill. We have a plan, but it kind of hinges on you not freaking the fuck out. Basically? We're gonna send god lawyers after deathbot 3000.
It's gonna be hilarious, and even if something goes wrong can you think of a more badass way to go down than STRUCK DOWN BY A GOD PERSONALLY man? Imagine the obituary that COMES with that.

>>626406
Also, that was mostly an attempt at shocking you out of your stupor.

>>626407

Not exactly helping her too much with death there.

Regardless we aren't freaking out right now since we've got plans Vickster, you see we can avoid temporal annihilation by God due to Law Lawyers due to her inability to follow through on things without order, as a result we will be building up quick funds in order to survive her.

Chill though, panicking isn't going to help, infact it can make things worse, that's why everyone is staying level headed in order to properly do things through.

We've also been doing research into your godhood and thoughts into what you may end up becoming.

>>626406
Where did "six hours" come from? Don't we have more time than that? Or did the rescue operation take like all goddamn day? But yeah, Seshe has a plan. Unfortunately it involves using the Baron's credit card and we're not entirely sure he wants us to do that. So we might be trading one god's ire for another's.

Also it involves trusting Seshe with a buttload of money. Good news is we can delay the deadline by moving to a dwarven bunker, or MAKING a dwarven bunker. You saw those melted tunnels Firebeard made, right? Maybe he can make us some deeper tunnels.

Lastly you gotta choose an Aspect or aspects, Vicki. What kind of god do you want to be?

hey Vicky, quick question. Do you know of any way for someone to make a lot of cash really fucking quick? I don't care if it's legal or not either. We sorta did find a plan but it needs money, lots of money. One is to find a military bunker and hold up in that so AAE can't just bomb our asses, next is to stay here and either buy some many lawyers that AAE will be held back by the paperwork alone or to hire some powerful earth mage to burry this place under a mountain to have the same affect as the bunker plan. We might be able to skimp out on paying for a bunker if Firebeard knows somewhere we could hide but other then that we're going to need LOTS of money. So far our options for getting cash quick is robbing a bank (which could make hiring lawyers a bit harder, not to mention try to break into a bank that would be large enough to have the funds we need), use the Baron's credit card (which could do anything from absolute jack shit to having the Baron coming after us like AAE but my money is on him forcing us to owe him a favor, and the only other thing I can think of is making a super drug and see if we can't sell it to the Baron to give to whoever for shits and giggles (you know how victor use to make potions that did random things when you drank them? same thing but with drugs. No idea how much money that would make or even if the baron would go for it and I highly doubt we could make/sell enough in time to do anything with the money anyways)

Speaking of firebeard do you know if he's around? really kinda hoping he knows where we could find a abandon military bunker to save us a lot of fucking grief.

Vicki 2015/02/26(Thu)12:34 No. 626701 ID: 0a1420
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So... so we have a plan. That... helps. That helps a lot. I, I seriously did not think anybody had any idea what we were doing- I mean, everybody just scattered and the goblin girl was sending people out for, like, shirts and scrap metal and stupid stuff and...

I- I just need a quick minute here. I've been kind of freaking out for awhile.

Okay.... Okay. I'm good.

So.. our plan is to make, like, a billion bucks. And then Seshe will get A.A.E. off our ass with lawyers? That's kinda crazy, but it might actually work, I think I've heard of stuff like that with A.A.E.. And I guess I shouldn't have expected anything easier then making a billion bucks in no time, when we're dealing with gods and all. It's just kinda hard because, you know... six hours. That's like, zero time. Unless we do the bunker thing, but A.A.E. is still gonna be bombing at us every time we poke our heads above the surface and it'd make everything really really hard...

Uhm, okay, so, first thought. And I swear I wouldn't even be thinking of this kinda stuff if I wasn't literally gonna die in like... tomorrow. But, uhm... we could try taking it from someone who already has a billion bucks laying around right? Like a celebrity or something? That'd be the absolute quickest way to make money. I- uhm, I'm thinking lottery, but that'd take at least a week, even if we cheat it- or maybe some kinda scam, but that'd take lots of time too. Robbing a bank is probably gonna get us killed and that'd take us awhile to plan it out and it'd be dangerous and... everything...

Wait a second. I can freeze pretty much everything, right? If we just drag along a fridge or something for me to overload? Maybe we could play with that somehow? Like, we drag a fridge into a bank, I do my thing and deepfreeze everything, we run out with money? As long as I don't freeze myself again, right?... But actually, I don't want to put anybody else through that, it was really, really fucking cold, I felt my bones turning to ice...

Ugh! I don't know! Even in, like, the movies, the bad guys always took more then six hours to figure this stuff out! Uhm, should we just get Firebeard? And try and do the bunker thing? Although actually, I'm kinda not sure if that happened overnight. I mean, he's got crazy fire and everything, but he's melting solid rock, and he's super old- maybe he was working on that for years? I guess we could ask, though.

Also... why am I doing the goddess thing now? Shouldn't we be focusing on the whole 'not dying' part first?... Or is that part of the plan, somehow?

>why am I doing the goddess thing now?
long term planning to try once we get past this whole "AAE wants to kill us" thing and distractions to help not freaking out.

As for your scam thing, we do have the Baron's limitless credit card but if we use that we run a high risk for pissing the guy off. Of course we could maybe try to earn him that money back since we'll probably have more then 6 hours to do so with him. You know that super drug idea I just told you about? The Baron seems to be the type of guy who does things more for shits and giggles then for any real reason, if we can maybe have victor show him how to make that random effect potion that he can then cut into whatever drug he wants and just hand it out to people for shits and giggles. Or cut it into some random nobody drug dealer's product while he's not looking just to cause mayhem or something. I don't know but he'd probably find some way to find some fun with it and if nothing else it would help him kill an afternoon.

Back to the bank robbing plan, don't think the fridge thing would work but I do have a idea. Firebeard can melt stone you said right? find a building where they store gold or something that doesn't burn easily, come up from under it, Like a sewer way or subway tunnel or something, and then burn into the buildings vault and loot the place. Ava can use her magic to keep the guards off our asses, firebeard can get us in, everyone else grabs the goods, and you use your ice powers to keep them from following you down the hole you came in through. Then we have the goblin launder the hot goods and then spend that cash so quick we won't even have time to brake the bands around them.

Those are my ideas, so what do you think.

>>626701
There is such a thing as planning ahead, Vicki. Give it some thought.

Do you know any rich people? Also, yes, let's at least ask Firebeard how fast he can melt stone.

Generally multi-tasking our options as we move through the plans, helps focus our future efforts in an attempt to overall condense our paths down to something simpler.

Also Vicky, Vicky, Breath! You are still panicking and you may need to calm down a bit further, doesn't help your magic when you lose a bit of focus.

Though stealing it from someone with large amounts could be a decent idea, is there anyone we could get to here that we could snatch it from?

Vicki 2015/03/03(Tue)10:08 No. 627581 ID: 0a1420
File 142540610001.png - (41.79KB , 1280x720 , 349.png )

I guess there is something to planning in advance, but right now I'm still feeling like my head's in a vice grip and I just need to focus on not dying. Maybe I could be the goddess of survival. That sounds really good right now.

I'm actually really liking that whole bank plan. Burrowing a hole right into the floor? Kinda waaay better then my fridge bit. The whole 'sell to baron' thing is kinda... mmng. I don't really want to prod at the god of chaos if I don't have to, you know? I mean, I'm kinda happy just keeping him at arms length. But, whatever we do, we really, really should try and do it soon. Like, we got limited time, today's sort of been wasted with the rescue and then sitting around and timelag from the leylines and whatever- just, the clock is ticking. I really don't want to die.

I don't really know any rich people, but they all live in Hollows, right? Like, that's the big celebrity movie business crowd place, every five steps and you're tripping on another billionaire. I don't know, that might be kinda undercooked, like, how would we even saddle in close to a rich guy? Whatever.

Except, uhm, wait. Didn't you say we had the Baron's credit card? That's definitely one very rich guy. So why exactly do we have that?... Whatever, I guess I won't question it.

Vicki 2015/03/03(Tue)10:08 No. 627582 ID: 0a1420
File 142540610940.png - (242.88KB , 1280x720 , 350.png )

When did this place get to be such a dump anyway? I don't remember it looking all black and rotty when we got here.

Vicki 2015/03/03(Tue)10:08 No. 627583 ID: 0a1420
File 142540611846.png - (135.96KB , 1280x720 , 351.png )

So, uhm.

FIREBEARD! ARE YOU DOWN THERE?

Vicki 2015/03/03(Tue)10:08 No. 627584 ID: 0a1420
File 142540612952.png - (136.99KB , 1280x720 , 352.png )

Aye?

Oh- !!

Lass, aye would've thought yeh'd be yews'd t'my face by now.

It's-- not that! I've just never seen you out of your robe before.

Cannae ol' man not relax e'rry now an' then?

Well, sure, it's just -- whatever. Look, here's what I wanted to ask. Can you melt stone? Well, I know you can- your old place was all melted stone tunnels, right? So how fast can you melt it?

'Bout nine feet an'hour, give'r take.

That's enough for the vault robbery thing, right? But not really for a bunker...

Could I help you and maybe double that? Like, my magic's supposed to be super strong now, right? If you showed me the basics of your whole flamethrower magic, instead of using the 'ignite' thing that seems to set everything on fire.

...I s'pose aye coul' risk yehr crazy magic ag'in. 'Course yeh'll be doin' it without yehr clothes--

Uhm-- wait, why?

Fire's hot, lass. An' molten stone'll be pooled 'round to yehr knees. Aye ken protect yehr skin. Not yehr clothin'. Yeh always dig nakk'd. Convee'ient.

I- okay, well. We'll see about that, then. But we really need to pick a plan, guys. Scamming someone's probably gonna be relatively risk free, robbing a bank could work, we could trade with Baron, use his credit card, dig a bunker- whatever, but we gotta get on it, the clock is ticking!

Invent a thermal drill and use it on the nearest bank vault? We need something more concrete...

quick ask firebeard if he actually knows of any pre existing bunkers that we could use. Bank plan we're going to have to plan and that takes time unless the goblin has on already on her mind. Scamming will take time to actually come up with a scam plus actually finding suckers to fall for it. And nothing is certain when dealing with the god of chaos, BUT and that's a huge but, if it works out the way we hope then that would be the quickest way we have but again we'd be throwing the dice and hoping they turn up on the side that doesn't have a second incredibly powerful and now pissed off god on our ass.

Bank or the Baron. Those are my choices but leaning towards the bank since Ava seems scared shitless to ask the Baron for help and seeing how she has worked with the guy for HOW long and is still scared, I believe that means something.

>>627584
If Firebeard doesn't know of any existing bunkers we can use, then I think the bank robbery is the best plan for initial funding, which will let us buy our way to the bunker. We'll avoid using the credit card for now.

Vicki 2015/03/04(Wed)09:12 No. 627727 ID: 0a1420
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Okay, bank it is. I've never really thought I'd be a robber before but, whatever it takes, right?

So, we need cash super quick to keep A.A.E. off us. Plan is, we're going to rob a bank.

Aye, are yeh? An' yeh wanna dig righ' under it, do yeh?

Not quite- that was a plan for this other bunker thing- uh, the working plan now is for Ava to distract the guards while you dig a hole through the side of the vault, or go under from the sewers or--

'Sides th'obvious questi'n of why ah morally upstandin' man like myself-

Uhm, wait, didn't you try and kill me before?

Yeh intrud'd on private pr'hperty, lass. Not th' same as robbery, issit? An' 'sides, it'ain't gonna be tha' easy. Aye ain't th'only fire mage in th'werld, jes' the best of 'em. Yeh can do a biht of it yerself, can't yeh? If they'r lettin' any two bit fire sling'r go meltin' vault walls, e'rry bank'd be broke, now wouldn' it?... They make th damn'd walls outt'v thick'r stuff then tha', lass. Antimagic wards. Carbon tube sidin', a foot thick. An' that's jes' the standard. Ay could burn it all, but it'd be long, an' hard, an' police'd be on my back. Ain't one woman gonna hold 'em all off. An' 'sides, yeh're not gonna fin' many banks that're tradin' in gold, not paper. Not yehr human banks. An' dwarven banks, we're dead flat broke, ain't we? All th'trade 'round here goes threugh yehr hands. An' yeh love yehr' damn flammable paper.

...You've put thought into this, haven't you?

Lass, th'banks took ev'rythin' from me, yeh think Ah haven't thought'a takin' it back? Haven' done my rese'rch?

hm. In the future I suggest we try setting up a more legal way of stealing from banks: get a network of embezzlers in place, just some people working the till skimming lil bits here and there where it won't be noticed. Careful-like.
but for right now, I figure we need to find some other way to get the cash.
Are there any local competitions? Would the internet offer that information?

>>627727
Okay. We still have some extra time, let's try robbing some rich dude before we use the credit card. Here's an important question though: how do we actually get money from accosting a rich guy? It's not like they walk around with thousands of dollars in their pockets.

If it turns out robbing someone isn't going to work we should probably just use the credit card and potentially trade one god's wrath for another's.

Vicki 2015/03/17(Tue)10:46 No. 629624 ID: 0a1420
File 142661437904.png - (136.62KB , 1280x720 , 354.png )

Well, okay, I don't think there's anything local that's gonna get us any kind of serious cash- and for how to rob money- I don't know? Go in with guns blazing, demand their credit cards and PIN and stuff?... I'm playing this stuff by ear, I don't know! I just want to find someone rich first.

Okay, new plan. You were a big business tycoon guy, right? Do you have any rich clients that you know of? Anybody we can scam some money off?

Yeh're gettin' deep'r down th'hole, ain't yeh? ... All o'my rich clients are from decaydes ago, they're eith'r dead'er broke. Th'dwarves ain't ah th'top of their game, are they? An' fer'the last few years Ay was the... 'economy' option. Cannae compete with th'damned goblins an' their cold fissen fer top spot, can I?

I guess? But, moving on - next idea, any chance that you know of any local competitions or anything like that, that maybe we could cheat our way through, or whatever?

That'll get yeh th'same kinda cash as robbin' a bank er shakin' down a milliona're?... Ah suppose yeh coul' enter me intah ah beau'y contes' an' get ah few bucks in yeh're pock...et...

Vicki 2015/03/17(Tue)10:46 No. 629625 ID: 0a1420
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Are.. yeh... alright, lass?

Vicki 2015/03/17(Tue)10:46 No. 629626 ID: 0a1420
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I'm fine. But don't say no to me again. Alright? Look- I was this close to having some kind of hope that maybe I wasn't going to die tonight.

I'm actually maybe a tiny bit excited that maaaybe I'll live through the night, and instead I'm getting nothing but 'no' from you and the guides aren't talking to me and I am sick of it.

-I-

Shut up, we're having a group meeting. We're going to pool all our resources. Send everybody out on different missions. If something goes wrong, whatever, we'll have ten different back ups. We'll rob a bank and shake down a guy and max out Baron's card-- fuck it, you can go enter into a beauty contest if you want. That's fifty bucks closer then we're going to get sitting on our asses here. Come on.

[[sh0uld i coM 2?? th3 shORt g1rl kickd me oUT i dunno whEREe 2 go]]

Vicki 2015/03/17(Tue)10:47 No. 629627 ID: 0a1420
File 142661442470.png - (248.01KB , 1280x720 , 357.png )

VICTOR! AVA! GET OUT HERE! GROUP MEETING, RIGHT NOW!

[[We are coming, Vicki, hold your horses. Allow us a moment to stand up and leave.]]

[[im beEn practicng Long 4 to say wORds ou7 loud liKe othr Victor pls saY somthINg]]

Vicki 2015/03/17(Tue)10:47 No. 629628 ID: 0a1420
File 142661443405.png - (252.07KB , 1280x720 , 358.png )

SESHE! K'ORR! YOU TOO, GET YOUR ASSES--

YOU STUPID COCKMUNCHING ASSLICKING FUCKSTAIN! A FEW FUCKING MINUTES OF PRIVACY, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK??! I'M DOING FUCKING SURGERY IN HERE! GET THE FUCK AWAY, STUPID GIRL!

But-- we need everybody--

THE ONLY REASON I WILL LEAVE THIS ROOM IS TO PERSONALLY SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS AND KICK OUT YOUR TEETH!

Uhm..

She's patching up her boyfriend, give her a few minutes.

Are you feeling alright? Everything turned kinda blue, your eyes included. Those are bleeding by the way.

But yes, give her and Kórr some "alone" time, if you catch my drift. By the way V2 kinda started talking similar as Vic himself, you hearing him?

Let them fuck in privacy. We can relay the plan later.

Nice job on learning the language V2. Come on over and join the meeting.

...Blue, and that anger...
OKAY!
Bank plan CAN work. The key, is that we alter the roles.
Ava gets us in via controlling key bank operatives, instead of her keeping them busy. That job...I think it's best off with FireBeard, Vicki and possibly V-2? Working together- I'm not keen on the details but those three seem like they have pretty good offensive abilities, Vicki also has the regen rune she learned from Ava, which I'm sure will help.
Seshe&Korr, you guys are in charge of extration-get us a way to get out of there.
Victor...I guess can go wherever he'd be the most useful. How's that sound?

Idea, We use our invisible 'non-existant' buddy to rob the bank, Anyone besides gobins won't be able to perceive him...So...maybe we rob somewhere that isn't goblin friendly or something?

>>629787
Him being invisible is useful, yes, but it's not like he can just walk into the vault, can he? Also we don't know how long it will last.

Vicki 2015/03/19(Thu)14:35 No. 629960 ID: 0a1420
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I- wait, my eyes are- goddamn it! Again?? I don't understand why that's happening. Goddamn it! I'm so not liking that.

Well, it turned out to be not a big deal last time, so... whatever I guess. On with the plan?

Alright, grab a--

Wait... are they really fucking in there? ... How does that work? He's, like, three times her size. That's... weird. Well, whatever.

[[Grab a what, Vicki?]]

Sorry- grab a seat. We'll do this without them. It... kind of leaves us with only three, plus me, plus that guy. Whatever. We'll make it work.

Vicki 2015/03/19(Thu)14:36 No. 629961 ID: 0a1420
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That's actually a good plan for the bank robbery by the way, although I did also kinda have plans to split our... kind of limited group up. Should we go with your plan, or--

[[Vicki. Talk with us. Not only with the guides.]]

Right, uhm... well. We need to get cash, right? And we need to do this, like, now, so...

So we've already heard their idea! For what it's worth, I like it. I can absolutely persuade a few men to work with us. It sounds fun!

Aye lass, no' all of us cahn do yeh'r mind readin' trick. Yeh wanna fill th'rest of us in ah lit'le?

Right- sorry! The concept they suggested is really very simple- You and Vicki would create a distraction to pull most of the attention off us. I would make use of the commotion to find the head of security and manager and whoever else I could find, and convince them to open the vault for us. The ork and goblin would work on a solution to get us back out again, heaping bags of - eyes up here, Firebeard - bags of money in hand.

[[I am not sure what I could contribute. I could work with you to create a distraction, and I would most likely be good at it, but two people on the task already seems to be enough. Almost excessive, really, given how powerful you and Firebeard both are.]]

Well, I actually had another idea for you anyway- I was kinda wondering about sending you to Baron to have a little talk with him about the card--

[[Me? Why me?]]

I don't know- you're full of strange magic, he's full of strange magic, it seemed like a fit? And I was going to put Ava on robbing people, so she couldn't do it. I don't know. I don't have a super solid plan.

>>629961
Hmm, yes, Victor could go talk to the big guy. V2 could too. If he can't see V2, we could even spy on him a little.

>>630004
He mentioned being able to see V2. Also, he's a god. Don't even think about trying to fool him. It's a bad call.

However, he also mentioned liking V2. He'd make a good ambassador.

Victor 2015/03/23(Mon)11:09 No. 630483 ID: 0a1420
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[[So be it. If that's what you want of me. When, and how, do you want us- or, rather, I, as I still do not know who this 'V2' is-]]

Who?

[[What?]]

[[...In any case. When and how am I to speak with the god?]]

I can ask him to come back to the portal we had opened before- oh, but you weren't here, were you? It's just in the left hall. But I have some questions for Vicki first, alright? Then we'll set it up.

[[I shall wait for you by the door, in any case.]]

Victor 2015/03/23(Mon)11:09 No. 630484 ID: 0a1420
File 142713416493.png - (181.29KB , 1280x720 , 363.png )

[[Oh-! ...It seems Ava will be unnecessary. I... wish I had more time to collect myself. But it would most likely be poor form to leave a god waiting.]]

Victor 2015/03/23(Mon)11:09 No. 630485 ID: 0a1420
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Victor! Buddy! What's up, you little wormy fuck? And you brought your dead head friend along! The party's starting in here, huh?

>>630485
Wassup, huge dude. So, we know about the credit card, and we'd like to know if you'll get pissed off if we use it. We have a plan for a bank heist but we may need the card anyway, because we have a lot of money to dish out before we can consider ourselves safe from the metal bitch. Would it make you happier if we bought some random/hedonistic bullshit alongside the stuff we need to survive?

Also I have a question- you said before that everyone was lying to us. Are those lies important, or little deceptions to save face?

Hey so a question first. Do you look like that by choice or does the power you wield sort of dictate how you look? Or does what people think of you change your appearance?

Just curious because we have seen all sorts of gods and they all work a bit differently depending on the dimension you are in. Don't go to the dimension where the phasebears live by the way. Its was going downhill rapidly last time we helped out there.

Also awesome throne design.

Anyways can we borrow some money? We promise we will spend our share on booze and whores if anyone gives us hands to spend it with. The rest of the team might do something useful with it though.

Normally we would have come up with some awesome plan but sometimes we get summoned after the situation is far to dire and the only stuff that will work are suicidal ideas.

Nothing like appearing while someone is already neck deep in quicksand and having to watch them go down while shrugging.

Hey dude, could you help Victor be able to remember V2? It'd make things a little less confusing.

OH WAIT, YOU LOVE THAT SHIT. NVM.

Oh, speaking of V2, how long will it last? If it lasts long enough we could use it for the bank robbery.

Victor 2015/03/25(Wed)10:24 No. 630949 ID: 0a1420
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You kids are all business. No grace or respect. No grovelling before me. No fucking tribute. You think you can waltz right into my throne room like you own the fucking place, make demands of me? Try to pry me from my beautiful money?

[[Lord Baron, Sir-- please, they do not speak for myself, I have not yet had the chance--]]

Yes I realize that, you little goddamn worm. Which is why you're not dead yet. And don't act like a pompous douchebag. You're a dirt eating animal trained to speak. You don't get to pretend to be sophisticated.

I'm screwing with you. I'm not even mad. Gonna still need my tribute, though. Then we can talk about what you can do to earn my cash. And hell. Maybe I'll answer a question or two, because I'm that much of a nice fucking guy.

It's too bad you don't have anyone good and dickable in your group. Save my bitch, but she's already mine, isn't she? I can always use more fresh meat. Something that'll still scream when I bite it. But I'm sure you have something else you could offer. I'm open to suggestion. I love a surprise. You're just lucky I'm your patron, and not the metal cunt. You'd be dead already.

Hrm.
Well there are a few things we can offer...I like the thought of offering you, almighty Baron, some of our victims from this upcoming heist...V-2, perhaps, could serve as collateral, something you get if we fail to deliver anything, if yoy in your graciousness would accept such terms?
Beyond that...I'm afraid most of what we have to offer we will need to make this heist work, though I can't say that doesn't mean they are not on the table to begin with...

That's the great part about being a summoned extra dimensional entity. We can cut through all the crap because we don't have to worry about our safety.

Honestly did not take you for the type that wanted groveling and such. The tribute I can understand but the rest of it just gets old after awhile.

So a tribute eh? V-2 go bake him a cake.

Man being a disembodied voice sucks sometimes. All we can offer is promises or stuff we can convince our minions/team to do.

Oh hey how about V-2? You seemed to be entertained by him. How about we train him in the ways of your priesthood or something? Get him to join the Baron religion/cult?

>>630949
Well our resources are very limited right now... Would creating chaos in your name be a suitable tribute? Or does it have to be something we give you directly? These two are not essential to our bank robbery plan, so they will be available as a form of tribute, but we kindof want them back afterwards, at least mostly unharmed.

Spread chaos in his name? That's just what he would expect us to say.

Lets promise to spread love and peace in his name instead. Then he can lure in hippy girls who were drawn into the love and peace message.

I submit this as tribute:

https://youtu.be/QrGrOK8oZG8

Also, wow, you are incredibly handsome and pleasing in every possible way! What a wonderful being you are! I'm so glad to have you as one of the gods.

Victor 2015/03/27(Fri)09:56 No. 631253 ID: 0a1420
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Four cooks is not too many cooks. I have more than a hundred. Fuck you and your stupid tribute, you insolent little shit.

But I do like the thought of another servant. And this one's a different flavor of magic from the blood bitch, I can feel it. With a little breaking and twisting he'd be a perfect little esoteric. That always was my favorite kind. You can have him back in a few months, when I'm done with him. You'd be his first assignment.

[[Ah- oh- Lord Baron please - put me down, with greatest respect I do not want--]]

But, thing is, I'm feeling the same kind of magic off the worm. And he is the original. Maybe I should take him instead, huh? Wouldn't want you dumping your sloppy seconds on me. And I only want one of them. You got me thinking of collecting the whole set, and I don't need doubles.

[[Ss- Sir, I do not use magic as the other races do, I am fundamentally different, you could not--]]

Sure I could, fuckface. I can do anything I fucking want.

How do you appease a schizo?! He goes from Bi-polar to multiple-personality to unstable maniac!!!

If you can find a pattern in his madness and appease him in a combo, that MIGHT work. Or it might just make his next state even more angry.

Try offering him a show!

I wouldn't call V-2 sloppy seconds. He's more unique than the original! Hell, he managed to use controlled magic. Victor can't do that. You may even be able to replace his body with something cooler, less likely to rot. Plus, I mean, he's pretty weird.

On the other hand, Victor is a better example of what an Annelid should be. If you're only interested in his fundamental difference from other races, Victor is a better choice. Also he's honestly less useful to us. He doesn't have hands anymore and his magic isn't reliable for anything except killing people. Well, maybe if we repeatedly enchanted items until we got a useful effect, but we'd need a lot of spare material to do that, which we don't have.

HOWEVER, if neither of them agree to the deal, I really don't want to force them into it. We'll have to figure out some other form of tribute in that case. I'd ask you to treat them nicely to help persuade one of them to agree, but uh, you have no reason to keep that promise.

Yeah I think there were only 4 actual cooks in that video. And probably less after the beard guy killed everyone.

Victor I know you have a bit more primal magic than everyone else but I am sure he could figure it out. Also I do apologize in advance if he hauls you off and molests you. Not really anything we can do about it.

Well which one you want is up to you really. If I was going to pick a new servant I would go with V-2. The original has been out in the world for years now and already has all sorts of preconceived notions regarding things.

But V-2 is a day old. Eager to learn everything and already accidentally breaking things with the best of them. You can mold him into whatever you want and it will be like raising a baby with built in flamethrowers.

It occurs to me that that video's jokes relied a lot on cultural stuff. Like, the whole idea of an intro lasting too long might not translate to this world. We don't even know if sitcoms exist here, much less if they follow the same tropes ours do.

How about a video like this instead, Lord Baron? It transcends cultural boundaries, I'd say.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FavUpD_IjVY
If you don't like that, what kind of stuff do you like? "Chaos" can mean a bunch of different things really...

*sighes* That, I suppose, is our quandry. We have, quite frankly, very little to offer...
So. Victor&V-2. They can be yours, in lieu of the fact that they are in your hands right now.
That, leaves us with...Nothing we can actually spare.
HOWEVER! I think we do work best with a degree of crunch...Perhaps, in your mercy you could be willing to grant us a measure of time before coming to you again, at which point, we can make a hopefully more appealing offer...And if we fail to applease you...I'd liek to think we could negotiate, but push come to shove, I suppose you could take your pick of what we have, period.

Victor 2015/03/30(Mon)14:38 No. 631798 ID: 0a1420
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Cows are more of a human thing. They don't live long underground. But I do like that more.

Not that it matters. We're coming to a more meaningful agreement, aren't we? Cartoons aren't fucking real. And I don't need a show from these two. I have performers and actors and whores and belly dancers and circus freaks dripping from every pore on my body. I've seen everything and more.

So I will take something I can wrap my hands around and play with. One of a kind trumps one of a species. And the zombie is fresh and malleable. He's not struggling at all. The worm's already whining and groaning. You can keep the it. I don't want it.

I will allow you to take the money on loan, with the promise of a better offer for me. You will need to bring me another tribute when you come back, of course. And if you don't come back, well... you'll owe me a favor. I have a good one planned already. You'll fucking love it. But broke as you are, you can still give down payment. You will give me some of the hostage meat from your robbery. Pick out the good ones, don't waste my fucking time.

I did promise I would answer some questions. Let it be known I am sometimes a man of my word. Go.

>>631798
Welp, good luck V-2. I hope you come out ahead from this arrangement. (heh, get it)

Okay, how long does that memetic invisibility spell last? Any limitations aside from goblins seeing through it?

Why are Vicki's eyes bleeding and turning colors? Is there any reliable way to trigger her massive power boost? If I had to guess, it seems to happen when she's agitated.

Where did Vicki's book originally come from? You know, the 7 easy steps one. We saw a vision earlier of you using it during your ascension to godhood. Is it some sort of ancient mysterious artifact of unknown origin, responsible for a sizable portion of the current pantheon?

Do you think our bank robbery plan is gonna work? Any advice on making it cooler or more lucrative? I'm not asking for spoilers here, I just wanna know if there's something we're forgetting.

What sort of tribute do the other gods like?

Why green?

Victor 2015/04/03(Fri)10:35 No. 632762 ID: 0a1420
File 142808251219.png - (447.18KB , 1280x720 , 368.png )

Is that all? You're not capitalizing on what you have. Why it's almost insulting... I will let it slide. But my patience is being tested with your group, isn't it.

V-2 will become visible when he decides to be. He will learn how to use his magic correctly. I don't have any use for a servant who cannot perform.

Blue is the color of the queen of dreams.

I don't do self help books. I have no idea what the fuck you're on about.

The metal bitch loves her filthy goblin gold more then I do. I don't know or care what the other small timers want.

I like green. It's my color. The fuck is wrong with green?

(Hang on, her eyes flashed blue back when she almost learned that whisper spell. The queen of dreams is responsible... I wonder if she's trying to help, or if she's fucking with us.)

>>632762
I... expected others to chime in with more questions, actually. Seems quiet in here.

Okay uh, how can we get Vicki to learn more magic from the book?
What are you going to do to V-2 exactly?
Where is Dreamstealer? How do we meet him? We heard he doesn't accept visitors, but if we're never going to get AAE's gift then we'll HAVE to meet Dreamstealer eventually to get his.
What's your favorite hedonistic thing to do?
What's your favorite magic?
What's the dumbest bitchfight you've seen between gods? What other gods hate eachother?
What recommendations do you have for Aspects that Vicki might choose? I kindof thought that was something she didn't pick willingly, and was determined more by her lifestyle and mental state, but I guess I was wrong. As I understand it we have to convince the other gods that the aspect will be useful in the pantheon. What about Rebirth? Fate?
Do you know what Firebeard is researching? Is it cool?

>>632762
So what did you look like before all the magic stuff?

You have given me an idea, though: We need to get home base fixed up and start renting out rooms.
Who wouldn't want to stay in a spooky mansion with a bunch of loonies and a goddess wannabe? Crazy people, that's who.

Okay I'm kinda curious, Is having a tentacle for an arm useful? I mean, It lack the efficient graspers of a standard humanoid arm...but at the same time it has reach...Actually now that I think of it, he's a god, he could probably just make it grow fingers if he wanted to grab something. Ignore me.

>>632984
Gah Just now it a question came to me, Have any reccomendations on what Our beloved Panic-prone protagonist should choose as her domain should she survive to ascend to godhood?

Victor 2015/04/06(Mon)09:00 No. 633140 ID: 0a1420
File 142833605539.png - (447.45KB , 1280x720 , 369.png )

What did I look like before all the magic stuff? What kind of a dumb fucking idiot question is that? Who the fuck cares what I used to look like? Who the fuck cares about who I was before I was a god? That shit don't matter, come on.

Victor 2015/04/06(Mon)09:01 No. 633142 ID: 0a1420
File 142833607509.png - (512.78KB , 1280x720 , 371.png )

What matters is what we look like now! Focus on today, right?

Uh huh! So, uhm. Questions! Let's see.

Vicki will figure more stuff out as she gets better at magic. She's gotta work that muscle a little. Practice, practice, practice! As for V-2 here, well, we're gonna teach him the trade until he's ready to serve. Then he'll be ours until he dies!

Dreamstealer's hiding away in an asylum, like the mad bastard he is. Ugh. We never liked asylums. Locking away the most interesting people in society to protect a few dull minded retards?... Whatever. We like to do whatever the hell is fun! Fucking is nice and all, and drugs are cool, but like we taught our girl, there's nothing like the rush of power! Pushing the limits, breaking boundaries, making reality your slut... but the drugs and fucking and stuff are totally cool too!

We like our own brand of magic! Baroness style! We don't really do the schools that the mortals have to deal with. We can do whatever the hell we want! And bitchfests aren't very dumb to the poor dumb mortals who get caught in the crossfire, are they? I think every bitchfest is awesome. Peace and love is for losers!

Vicki's a big ol' failure, so maybe she should be the goddess of that, huh? Awesome job security there! Nobody wants to be the god of failure! But she's interesting 'cause she's nothing. She's like a little kid! Kids have a whole world of possibilities ahead 'cause they can't do anything yet! So go nuts! Do whatever!

Firebeard's trying to invent the new steam engine, the new computer- he's making something big, something that's gonna put dwarves back on the map! We totally applaud him for that. Fuck the goblins! Stupid jerks!

And we use tentacles because, well, why the hell not? Tentacles are awesome! They're squirmy and slimy and totally unpredictable. We don't need to use them. We want to!

Now give us more! Come on, we still got some time to burn! Victor, you got anything, little guy?

[[I- ah- I cannot think of anything... miss. It is... difficult to think clearly in your presence. You are a very imposing... woman.]]

Well thank you! But you can go fuck yourself! What about you all out there, huh? C'mon, give us some more!

In the now then, Why is queen robo-bitch as she is anyways, what sort of stick do you need to become that lame and orderly? And speaking of which, what could we do to make sure she can stuff it in the future should she try something again.

Also mad props for the swirling shapeshift, god of chaos and all but it's nice to see some actual chaotic self.

>>633142
What, in your opinion(s?) is the most effective way to wipe out an entire city?
Can you make our pal Victor here fake arms?
...Made of FLESH? Or, y'no, magic fabric, if he's a spoilsport? Not that I'm asking you to actually make them.

…Do you even care about the quality of these questions?

>>633142
So what's the best way we can piss off iron bitch without her killing us?
I'm feelin' why you hate her, and I want to capitalize on that later.

Also, what's the deal with the book? Where'd that shit crop up from? Been curious about that for a while.

How big is your flesh table?

Since websites are apparently ok I was searching for that one 0 dimensional math website that turns anyone who reads it slowly mad. Didn’t find it, but apparently I have a bookmark for something appropriate for the god of failures: https://imgur.com/gallery/Vm05z

Other than that, maybe a last question. Have you ever really subverted one of the bitch’s designs into delightful chaos? I’d imagine the shift from rigid formality to absolute chaos to be positively orgasmic for two such as you.

What you looked like before is a relevant question because it gives us greater insight into how our own patron might change, as well as what godhood even means.

Victor 2015/04/13(Mon)11:32 No. 634169 ID: 0a1420
File 142894993245.png - (481.03KB , 1280x720 , 372.png )

So, do we care about the quality of the questions?

Hm...- not even a little tiny bit! Keep wasting time! That's perfect!

The metal bitch has a big goddamn stick up her ass 'cause she's a fucking goblin! The whole fucking race is like that! Keep an eye on your little green backstabber, by the way. She got kicked out of her own country, didn't she? I mean, I love a good outcast, but not when they're gonna fuck my projects over.

Steering right into more pleasant topics- we've fucked over the metal bitches plans so many times! It's so easy to destroy order, and so fucking hard to build it up again! We love it! But our best ever was definitely when we flung a plague ridden corpse into her perfect little model sterile city... had all the aristocrats and politicians and scientists eating each other in a week, on national television and the internet, streamed live to the whole wide world-- it was magical! And they couldn't even get out because of all the defences she set up! But we can't tell you how to fuck up her plans any more- you gotta figure that out for yourselves. Creativity is what we're all about!

Our flesh table? There's an odd question! We haven't used that in ages. It's tiny. And boring. We outgrew it years and years ago. But I guess it left an impression on our other servant, huh? Well, it probably would! We stuffed it in her room and all. We can still hear it screaming when we pass on by.

And if you really have to know, we used to be a shining slab of manly dwarvenhood. Pretty much the opposite of that tiny toothpick you've got slinging fireballs. Just imagine everything he's not- that was us, alright? But maybe you should see the other gods before worrying about what Vicki will turn into, huh?

Victor 2015/04/13(Mon)11:32 No. 634170 ID: 0a1420
File 142894997606.png - (504.97KB , 1280x720 , 373.png )

So now we're onto the good part!

The part we both love.

[[What-- guh -- FFNGNNN HGNNNGNNN]]

We got an idea, right? We could give wormy a new pair of arms... it'd be stupid easy, too! But why don't we let him do that himself?

We think his magic is close enough to ours that he might benefit from a teensy bit of our genius! We know how to use what we've got, don't we?

[[UGHHGNNN FFHGHGNNG HHRURHNNGN!!]]

And don't even worry about payment for this one, we've got an awesome idea in mind. You'll see!

But we're not giving him our gift forever. He's got a few hours, right up until the end of tonight. So use it while you can! We want to see what he does with it!

Victor 2015/04/13(Mon)11:33 No. 634171 ID: 0a1420
File 142895000517.png - (499.34KB , 1280x720 , 374.png )

[[Ughh... good.. lord, that-..]]

Alright wormy! Times up! In through the door! Go on!

Go on, boy! Go go go!

[[I am... in very significant pain..]]

Shh! Shh! Good wormies go through the door, go on!

Now go! Hurry up! Hurry up!

Victor 2015/04/13(Mon)11:33 No. 634172 ID: 0a1420
File 142895002584.png - (491.94KB , 1280x720 , 375.png )

[[Wha- who- do I... know these people?]]

>>634172
What? WE WERE SUPPOSED TO ROB A BANK NOT THESE GUYS Let loose with your new powers. Ice them. Kill the mage first.

Also what are those ingots made out of?

it's the assholes that knocked you out and tied you up, twice! BLAST EM!

THESE GUYS DIE HORRIBLY!
OOH! Do the V-2 magic again! I want to do magic science to it!
As for the rest? Hrrm...
I want to replicate that one spell in the forest that made spheres in it. And to keep the sphere for later examination, that sounds like fun as well.
Beyond that? CUT LOSE, AND LET SLIP THE BARON'S MADNESS!

Rob the robbers, become super robber.

Ohhhhh boy. I wonder what kind of wonderful, awful trouble killing these people will cause. I wonder if they're actually our people, magicked to look different. Ah well. Kill 'em, fuck it.

Victor 2015/04/17(Fri)10:45 No. 634963 ID: 0a1420
File 142929272825.png - (541.98KB , 1280x720 , 377.png )

[[The pain has abated slightly. I am... in control. They did not explode into bees, or turn inside out, or burst into flame or anything of the sort. I did what I wanted to do. It feels good. It was almost too easy.]]

[[Actually... now that I stop to think of it... it was too easy. It is very likely that Baron is toying with me, isn't it..?]]

[[...Sssshiiiiiit.]]

[[..Vicki? Victoria?]]

>>634963
Vicky's not there, bro. The baron just tossed you in a safe…
Loot it.

Well looks like he threw you into the thick of things. He said you have his gift until the end of the night so might as well make use of it.

The gift might be something that stabilizes your power. That or he is siphoning off the extra chaos in your magic and using it elsewhere.

Anyways you are in a vault somewhere and it looks like they got in without using the main door. So you will want to check around and see how they planned on leaving.

Once you figure out a escape plan look over what they were stealing. Looks like a bunch of purple bars and safety deposit boxes. We either want to have you cart off as much as you can or open a portal and get your team in here to clean the place out.

>>634975
what are you talking about? the vault door is behind vector and its wide fucking open. make a floating disk of magic and pile as many bars as you can.

Waaait a second. First off-what ARE these purple bar things? Can we do some scanning magic on them to figure out what they are?
Then? It depends on how easily we can sell em off/convert to money to pay lawyers. Oh, prolly should do something or another to those corpses and save em for the Baron. Sure, there's the bank robbery, buuuut I dunno how much we'll get from that...Or how much he will want.
I think that body-control spell Ava mentioned will work fine for that purpose, then we can do some sort of spell to send them into hibernation if there's such a thing?
And that, I suppose is about as much as I can think of to do...For now.

>>634963
Try a scrying spell, now that you have control. Sense the location of Vicki and the others. I really don't think the Baron would send you right in the middle of your allies while they were disguised as enemies. He's trying to help us, remember? Also nobody had the capability for such convincing disguises... and disguises weren't part of the plan. Hell, Vicki and Firebeard were supposed to be a distraction.

Can you teleport stuff? You could teleport all the loot out. Well, there are probably teleport wards here. The Baron could overpower them but you might not be able to.

See if V-3 was a successful clone, or if the mostly-destroyed body you put him in fucked up the process. I wish you hadn't even tried, I mean if it worked you basically doomed yourself to being stuck in HALF of a corpse this time. Also uh, we still don't know any way to stabilize clones you've made in this way. They're doomed to rot. Unless you can straight up make a stable body for them with the controlled wild magic you have now?

After figuring out what's really going on, start shoving more loot in the bags these thieves brought. Do it as fast as possible. Then we can run off with the loot. Maybe you can disguise yourself as one of the thieves while doing so?

>>634988
except we know the orb should be possble transference. just crush a different skull and plop it on there.

Victor 2015/04/20(Mon)11:57 No. 635485 ID: 0a1420
File 142955626014.png - (548.15KB , 1280x720 , 378.png )

[[I am a very... distinctive figure, and I have no idea how competent these others were in preventing the authority's response and presence. For all I know, the room outside is swarmed with police. I believe acquiring a fitting disguise would be the best first move.]]

[[Unfortunately the only school of magic which deals directly with the body, which could be used to copy their appearance, is blood magic. Blood magic is fundamentally different from other types of magic- it is based in introverted ritual that absorbs magic rather then channelling and projecting it outward and- it doesn't matter, my point is that I do not have the faculties to do it. But I believe I have a another solution.]]

Victor 2015/04/20(Mon)11:58 No. 635487 ID: 0a1420
File 142955629958.png - (544.55KB , 1280x720 , 380.png )

[[This is rather cramped and uncomfortable. Fortunately I received more room to stretch out with after his stomach burst. I suppose I shouldn't complain. The corpse will also act as a meat shield for me. On my own, I am rather fragile.]]

[[I wish I could perform more of what you ask- but teleportation, (while I feel it would be within my grasp), would likely be a very poor choice to attempt. Any bank worth their money will have stringent security measures put in place- possibly violent measures- designed to prevent exactly such a thing. And I do not know of any 'scrying' spells which would identify material- they may well exist, but I do not even know where to begin with attempting it. However, I am sure one of our party will know what it is, and what we can do with it. Firebeard is a dwarf, material is supposed to be their specialty. And Seshe is a rather smart woman as well.]]

[[And as I mentioned, blood magic is beyond my abilities- even with fingers, I do not know how to draw the runes correctly. There is likely more then mere cutting involved. Any suggestions involving preserving or animating the bodies with it is beyond me.]]

[[But physical magic that does not deal directly with the body, I can certainly manage that. Manifesting a physical platform is simplicity defined. And I feel I could transfer "V-3" to another body. He does seem to be struggling in the one he is in. The frozen girl, perhaps?]]

yeah, slice her head off cleanly, try to leave the brain stem intact. if the heart and lungs stay working then it should last much longer.

>>635487
Oh god he was still alive when you did that. I'm hoping he isn't anymore! I don't suppose you could put him out of his misery if he's still got a pulse?

Transfer V-3 to the girl, yes. See if we can refine the cloning procedure. SCIENCE! MAGIC SCIENCE!

Can you make a little golem out of raw materials present, to help with carrying stuff? Or fighting? Probably gonna have to do more fighting. V-3 will need some form of weapon as well. Perhaps you could enchant something to make an explosive? Sack of magical grenades seems like a good weapon.

Victor 2015/04/27(Mon)05:18 No. 636617 ID: 0a1420
File 143013711110.png - (551.05KB , 1280x720 , 381.png )

[[He seemed to be dead when I first entered him.]]

[[...I gave his heart a squeeze. I do not fully understand elven anatomy but that ought to ensure he's fully deceased. In any case. I can most likely make a golem of some variety, but let us deal with the problem of V-3 and his body first. He seems to be struggling in the one he has now, and I am uncomfortable with the thought of a clone of myself confined into a great deal of pain.]]

[[Unfortunately I am unsure I would be gentle or precise enough to thaw the body without causing significant damage. Firebeard would likely do a better job then I, even with the knowledge I possess. It is his specialty. And her frozen nerves would surely dull any pain. I believe I should be able to slice cleanly through the ice, as a temporary solution. V-3 will have to tolerate a less ideal situation being stuck in a fully immobile body, for the time being. At least until we are back at home base.]]

Victor 2015/04/27(Mon)05:21 No. 636620 ID: 0a1420
File 143013729774.png - (536.48KB , 1280x720 , 383.png )

Y- yyou kk-kk-KILLED them-! And y-you're w-wuh-WEARING HII-II-IIIM!!

[[Oh she is much stronger then I am and she is pulling at the wrong end I cannot do much to resist with magic when my head is buried inside of him]]

F-FFUCK THE DEEAL!! You KILLED H-HIM! YOU P-PIECE OF SHIT WORM I'LL K-KILL YOU!!!

[[Her hands are very cold please help]]

headbutt

Think you can get your head out of there and then blow her away/blast her head off for V-3 before she does something nasty to you?

Enchant yourself so that anyone touching you is paralyzed. Or make yourself stronger so you are stronger than her. Then ask her what the "deal" was.

"Deal?"

Victor 2015/05/01(Fri)06:31 No. 637262 ID: 0a1420
File 143048711125.png - (545.78KB , 1280x720 , 384.png )

[[Headbutt!!]]

Victor 2015/05/01(Fri)06:32 No. 637263 ID: 0a1420
File 143048712674.png - (535.00KB , 1280x720 , 385.png )

[[Ah... I apologize for panicking. It is a holdover from my earlier, more primitive life- worms very much so do not like being forcibly pulled out of the ground. I likely could have enchanted something, if not myself, or done some type of offensive spell when I was fully extracted. However, simple as it was, I prefer this option vastly.]]

[[In any case...]]

[[What deal? For what purpose were you attempting to harm me before?]]

[[...]]

[[Yes, I did not think that would work, honestly. She seems to be in a certain mood--]]

Victor 2015/05/01(Fri)06:32 No. 637264 ID: 0a1420
File 143048714532.png - (534.72KB , 1280x720 , 386.png )

[[No- No! Wait! Do not attack me!!- We must still discuss--]]

You're still WEARING HIM! YOU FUCKING ANIMAL!!

I wonder if we have some more prospect of control over our magic...DO you think you could try a mood depressor so as to make her docile enough to answer a question? Because as it is, we are essentially a worm wearing a corpse and it takes some sort of fucked up mental fortitude to be able to ignore that anytime soon.

>>637264
Paralyze her, exit the body, then interrogate her.

launch one of those metal bars between the eyes.

Victor 2015/06/24(Wed)10:31 No. 650457 ID: 0a1420
File 143516710020.png - (534.65KB , 1280x720 , 387.png )

[[Mood depressor! Yes. I can most certainly do something like that.]]

Victor 2015/06/24(Wed)10:32 No. 650458 ID: 0a1420
File 143516712617.png - (536.72KB , 1280x720 , 388.png )

[[Whoops. Let us get that out of here.]]

Victor 2015/06/24(Wed)10:33 No. 650459 ID: 0a1420
File 143516720332.png - (536.59KB , 1280x720 , 389.png )

[[Now...]]

Maeon! Your tongue is ALL weird! My hand hurts! Where are we?

[[Ahh... yes, you see..]]

How are you doing that! I can hear you inside my HEAD! And your mouth isn't moving! Do those yellow things hurt?

[[...That turned out quite strong, didn't it? And perhaps I did not push her in the correct direction after all. Still, she does however still seem lucid enough to interrogate. Or I could instead simply decapitate her with ease, for V-3's use of her body. I am beginning to feel distress over V-3. He has stopped moving. I do not know whether he requires a functioning and unmolested body to survive, or if the broken body he has commandeered has stopped responding to him, or if he has merely passed out.]]

yes, let's finish this, if you need her closer just say you can't feel your leg and need some help.

Tell her that she got hit with something, your partner didn't make it. You don't know and you don't care. The job's a mess but the escape portal is literally two feet in front of you, so take everything that isn't tagged and stuff it into the portal. You both leave in thirty seconds, no questions asked.

Victor, estimate the current value of the purple bars and the cash.

Victor 2015/07/07(Tue)11:49 No. 653736 ID: 0a1420
File 143629496974.png - (536.13KB , 1280x720 , 390.png )

[[Perhaps if V-3 has passed already, then there is little we can do for him. And if he has not passed yet then he can surely last a short while longer. As death is generally a one way street and not easily reversible, for now I will drag the female along and make use of her. We can always re-purpose her body later.]]

[[We are currently robbing a bank. You were hit on the head and are consequently disoriented. We need to put all of what we can find in the shell with all due haste and move forward.]]

I- uh- okay...!

[[I would estimate the current worth of everything here to be "valuable". I have no idea what precisely this metal is. We will have to wait until we can find a proper appraiser- that is to say, Firebeard or Seshe- then we can learn of its true value.]]

Victor 2015/07/07(Tue)11:53 No. 653738 ID: 0a1420
File 143629522762.png - (319.97KB , 1280x720 , 392.png )

[[Yes, see? This is why I cannot give any estimation of worth. We are clearly in an elven bank, which apparently does not use the gold standard. However, if they feel the need to store it securely, then it must be valuable to them, correct? If it holds no value to humans, we can simply fence it back to the elves.]]

[[I am not particularly happy to see the state the three who came before me have left this place in. Any semblance of subtlety has clearly been dragged from the premises and beaten to death with a socket wrench.]]

[[In any case, we are now prepared to leave. The shell has been filled with valuables in the form of the mysterious ingots as well as assorted jewellery and knickknacks, as well as V-3's severed head, in the hopes of restoring it to functionality later on. We do not have an exit portal, and I cannot form one inside the bank. Should I attempt to step outside and immediately create one? There is not any law enforcement visible directly through the window to the street, but that does not mean they aren't there and simply hiding toward the side. Elven law enforcement may be less directly confrontational and more prone to ambush. Or there may be nothing there at all.]]

uhh, there's an old man behind you.

>>653762
Use the old man as a hostage to scan outside.

Check the corpses. Some of the elves might still be alive.

I imagine with your current super-magic you could erect some fortifications outside so that you could place a portal unmolested.

Snake your body through several of the corpses and then run screaming out the door while appearing to be a horrible corpse golem. Just waving bloody limbs everywhere as you go.

Anyone watching will be so startled that you will be able to make a portal while they are confused.

>>653773
Won't that just get Victor shot?

Victor 2015/07/10(Fri)10:17 No. 654682 ID: 0a1420
File 143654862559.png - (319.58KB , 1280x720 , 393.png )

[[Due to the nature of my magic, it would be difficult to set up fortifications outside without first opening the door, at which point the ambush might already be sprung. My magic is less subtle and more raw then a normal magician's- as I have mentioned, it is similar to a hose. I can control what comes out, but I cannot make the fountain spontaneously appear on the other side of the glass. I am the source, it must be connected through me.]]

[[For that reason I feel the "meat golem" idea has some weight to it- although I do not need to wear it myself, I could simply control it through telekinesis as a distraction. Or I could use the bodies as a massed shield and forego the bipedal form entirely.]]

[[Female! I require you to check the life signs of the corpses. Some may still be alive.]]

Uh- wh, why, Maeon?

[[Because I requested for you to do so.]]

...Uh, okay..!

[[I doubt any still live. But we shall see.]]

Victor 2015/07/10(Fri)10:20 No. 654686 ID: 0a1420
File 143654880325.png - (324.41KB , 1280x720 , 394.png )

[[That leaves one other possibility to quickly explore, before we make our debut to the streets of the elven city.]]

[[Old man, I am commandeering your services. Cooperate peacefully with us and we will have no need to harm you.]]





[[I am speaking to you old man, kindly respond to me.]]

[[I attempted to pull his cane away, but I cannot seem to work my magic on his person. Also... now that I try, I cannot read his mind, either. In fact, I do not feel a mind there at all. But he is clearly watching me.]]

>>654686
...a magic null? Or is that a god in disguise? Or is it an illusion, part of the bank? He's got red eyes.

Maybe you could try touching him?

touch him with the metal ball in the hand.

Let's not poke the obvious bad thing to poke :v
seriously, leave the old man be. He's not really bothering us and is irrelevant to us until he IS bothering us.

Victor 2015/08/31(Mon)16:40 No. 666057 ID: 0a1420
File 144106441004.png - (324.85KB , 1280x720 , 395.png )

Probably it is better to leave well enough alone. And in any case, the man is beginning to distress me greatly. I do not relish the thought of touching him. Or engaging him further.

[[Please strip the corpses and gather them. Perhaps search for more, if there are any avaliable. I have a plan that requires their use.]]

... Alright, Maeon.

Victor 2015/08/31(Mon)16:40 No. 666058 ID: 0a1420
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[[Hm. Fusing together a flesh golem and puppeting it is proving more difficult then I thought. Oh well. Fortunately there are always alternatives to any given situation.]]

Victor 2015/08/31(Mon)16:40 No. 666059 ID: 0a1420
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Ui yi itoth-- eea??!

Victor 2015/08/31(Mon)16:41 No. 666060 ID: 0a1420
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Thian oias moiy eiaha idas! Sotha! Sotha!

Ji gian dialas!

Victor 2015/08/31(Mon)16:41 No. 666061 ID: 0a1420
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[[Well, this is posing a problem. I attempted to create a portal as the easiest and most logical way of leaving this place. But we appear to be in the moving Ent city, which means the portal will not stay in place. Very troublesome.]]

Victor 2015/08/31(Mon)16:41 No. 666062 ID: 0a1420
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[[I need another means of escape. I can reliably create a shield around myself simply enough with the knowledge that Lord Baron has granted me, however I require a clear line-of-sight to perform magic, so doing so would render me powerless to perform any other type of magic, including keeping the corpse ball together.]]

[[There should be a leyline located somewhere deeper in the city, but I would need a way to safely traverse the city to reach it, and if I am busy shielding myself and unable to perform other magic I could be easily blockaded and trapped. I could also perhaps try to exit through the window, although that would leave me stranded in the woods, no better then where I was only yesterday.]]

[[Those boxes appear to have wheels on them. I would guess that those boxes are how they got here, however I have no personal understanding of what exactly it is or how it functions.]]

>>666062
Can't you just launch yourself into the portal? Or fly into it?

how high of a fall can you handle? just roll off the edge and land on the actual ground.