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File 141867422817.jpg - (803.36KB , 1536x2048 , image.jpg )
612046 No. 612046 ID: 3d6e79

So my tablet just broke. I'm bored and without a purpose in life. I guess I can just scratch at my hand or something...
.
.
.
Well now that that's taken care of...what the hell should I do? My new tablet won't be here for another few days...I have several options. I could eat. Sleep. Do homework. Eat. Maybe harass my pet cat... Whaddya think?
5 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
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No. 612055 ID: 3d6e79
File 141867504981.jpg - (542.18KB , 1536x2048 , image.jpg )
612055

>>612053
Unfortunately I am updating this quest with a notebook and an iPhone...my sizing limitations are quite real!
>>
No. 612057 ID: a863b2

Contemplate the vastness of deep space.
>>
No. 612061 ID: a81751
File 141867589336.jpg - (849.42KB , 2048x1886 , image.jpg )
612061

>vidya games

oh right! I just got the latest edition of Halo Duty Battlecraft. I grab my Doritos and keg barrel of Mountain Dew to play some games. Online I encounter a swarm of mega n00bs. They're cramping my style. What am I to do?
>>
No. 612062 ID: defceb

Tell them you slept with their mother in the whiniest, more childlike voice you can manage.
>>
No. 612063 ID: c0c685

>>612061

call in your crew for backup
>>
No. 612064 ID: db83ac

Can't you just spend the rest of the week posting on other people's quests?

Also, I can sense that this isn't even a representative avatar of yourself; that this isn't who you are on the inside.

Please draw what you look like.

And then call us out for our snide and humiliating remarks with a slew of violent swearing.

You do NSFW quests already, so hit us with your biggest insult! This is a good time to tell us how annoying we are when we post on your quests! Come on!
>>
No. 612067 ID: 687279

>>612061
The best solution is to turn off voicechat. Then nobody will be able to annoy you!
>>
No. 612068 ID: 2ec61a

destory them, call them names. and then teabag all of them.
>>
No. 612074 ID: 3d6e79
File 141867881847.jpg - (877.30KB , 1536x2048 , image.jpg )
612074

Ah why didn't I just turn off my voice chat? That way I can teabag them without bothering about them whining in my ear! Pew pew pew!

Well that takes care of that.
>>
No. 612075 ID: 7c65ee
File 141867883157.jpg - (759.24KB , 2096x1533 , image.jpg )
612075

I return to my desk and take out a box of crayons to chew on. My dead tablet lays in front of me. Goodnight, Sweet Prince
>>
No. 612077 ID: c0c685

>>612075

Go play some league of legends or talk to your internet friends
>>
No. 612078 ID: 55c4cf

listen to cute music
>>
No. 612079 ID: b77899
File 141867996278.jpg - (890.75KB , 2047x1904 , image.jpg )
612079

To cheer myself up, I load up some cute Vocaloid music. popipo popipo! My mood is increased significantly! I AM Hatsune Miku, I can feel the music!

When the song ends I'm back to sitting lazily in my chair.
>>
No. 612080 ID: 55c4cf

make a food then gosh
>>
No. 612083 ID: db83ac

>>612079
NO.

Also, have you tried whacking your tablet on one edge until it turns on again? Try to remember what side your tablet hit before it broke, and hit it on the opposite side.
>>
No. 612085 ID: 687279

Go outside and have fun with other people!
>>
No. 612091 ID: 977dc4

Examine room for interesting or fun stuff.
>>
No. 612092 ID: 6cb462

First, go on the internet. Then, go on tgchan's quests board. Finally, go to the thread "Orion's Guide to Life Without a Tablet" and start making suggestions.

Things are about to get meta!
>>
No. 612110 ID: fe23be

Spin on your chair until nausea overtakes you.
>>
No. 612130 ID: 9ec55f

>>612092
this
>>
No. 612135 ID: 330ce5

Life is better with two things; anime and POTOAS. Aquire these things aquire happiness!
>>
No. 612139 ID: 34e91b

Cure cancer?
>>
No. 612145 ID: 34e91b

Or solve world hunger, perhaps? Pioneer a clean, renewable energy source, maybe establish a permanent world-peace?
>>
No. 612156 ID: db83ac

...So, ever think about adopting kids? Or do you think that children are just spoiled brats who are going to interfere in YOUR spoiled brattiness?

Yep.

Why not go to the pet store and buy a low-maintenance pet, like fish or guinea pigs?
>>
No. 612258 ID: 0eaf76
File 141870592249.jpg - (947.50KB , 1536x2048 , image.jpg )
612258

I decide to spin around on my rolling chair repeatedly. It doesn't take long for my stomach to spin equally as fast. I am spinning at an alarming rate.
>>
No. 612259 ID: a19cd5

>>612258
Extend arms, take off into the sky.
>>
No. 612261 ID: a19cd5

Realize your parents are going to kill you when they realize you blew a hole in the roof, then try to aim yourself towards Venezuela or something I dunno
>>
No. 612262 ID: 0eaf76
File 141870608815.jpg - (618.81KB , 2047x1553 , image.jpg )
612262

I keep on spinning rapidly until I rocket out of my house like a helicopter. I am now flying. Holy hell! I've always wanted to fly!
>>
No. 612263 ID: defceb

Adopt a new life in Venezuela, where your parents will never find you. If you're lucky, tablets ship faster there.
>>
No. 612264 ID: c0c685

>>612262

Continue spinning until you break earth's orbit!

Either that or fly to some exotic locale and explore.
>>
No. 612265 ID: bb78f2

Now, you out your GUN.
And start shooting wildly.
>>
No. 612270 ID: b8ceae

>>612262
Find out where your new tablet is and FLY THERE!
>>
No. 612271 ID: 269d8e

Use your spiral power to PIERCE THE HEAVENS!!
>>
No. 612273 ID: a33bb5

>>612262
Fly off in search of consumer electronics!
>>
No. 612295 ID: 6d4898

land in the land of OZ and go on dis JOURNEE
>>
No. 612296 ID: 55c4cf

Listen to Dead or Alive.
>>
No. 612298 ID: 6d4898

take old tablet apart. read the entrails to find out what to do next.
>>
No. 612300 ID: defceb

>>612271
BELIEVE IN THE TABLET THAT BELIEVES IN YOU
>>
No. 612303 ID: 534cc4

Oh god this is no longer a guide and now a quest.

So do what comes natural and perform aerial tricks because its awesome to do so.
>>
No. 612350 ID: 225ed3

The obvious solution is a barrel roll
>>
No. 612360 ID: e4e292

Oh know, you seem to veered into a no flying zone, here come the air police.
>>
No. 612376 ID: 330ce5

Do a barrel roll!
>>
No. 612379 ID: 1a57d2
File 141874600227.jpg - (794.79KB , 2431x1535 , image.jpg )
612379

I try and do a few aerial flips and rolls, but the chair is spinning at such a horrifying velocity that I just end up passing out mid-spin.
>>
No. 612380 ID: 71f34b
File 141874602191.jpg - (683.61KB , 2059x1535 , image.jpg )
612380

>>
No. 612381 ID: 1a57d2
File 141874605273.jpg - (950.98KB , 1857x2048 , image.jpg )
612381

>>
No. 612382 ID: 386885
File 141874614259.jpg - (1.00MB , 2720x1536 , image.jpg )
612382

I wake up in a strange place. Is this...the land of OZ?! Iook around, squinting like the Asian I am. My chair is lying on top of a random person, with bright red shoes... Oh my god this is Oz. I AM DOROTHY. Where's my black dog? Ah man.
>>
No. 612385 ID: 60700b

>>612382
Check the foot sticking out of the ground, and watch out for flying monkeys.
>>
No. 612386 ID: c9f2af

Rob the body of the no good witch you just killed.
>>
No. 612387 ID: a33bb5

>>612382
Check if the random person is alright.
>>
No. 612390 ID: 1a57d2
File 141874742396.jpg - (764.14KB , 2047x1601 , image.jpg )
612390

I lift off my chair and examine the body. The only thing I can see are the legs...the body is underground. Like straight underground...like god. Well might as well take the shoes. They're cool I guess. Kinda sad there's no fanfare of tiny munchkin people to give me flowers and candy...oh well.
>>
No. 612391 ID: dff0a8

Welcome, To the land of SNOZ- You have crushed beneath you the wicked witch of the weast (which so happens to be the good one) and are now a murderer. Soon the gumdrop police will capture you and sentence you to your crime! You must escape before the SNOZ gets you!
>>
No. 612393 ID: d3be40

Dig the witch out and loot her corpse for usable tools / body parts.

Hey, it was an accident. If you're going to be a looter, you may as well loot everything.
>>
No. 612398 ID: 55c4cf

Make a shank immediately, life in OZ is dangerous.
>>
No. 612399 ID: 687279

>>612390
Wellll... if that was the wicked witch of the west, you should obviously go east to find the center of the land.
>>
No. 612402 ID: 4ff681

teabag witch
>>
No. 612408 ID: 977dc4

Take a shortcut and just clack the shoes together immediately
>>
No. 612410 ID: 89b2a2

>>612390
Wow how mean, you didn't even check if she was still alive or pull her out of the ground before skipping to larceny.
>>
No. 612414 ID: 330ce5

You have the slippers, so it is time to look for a sentient scarecrow!
>>
No. 612419 ID: 265534

Take the striped stockings.
>>
No. 612421 ID: 8f01e8

Alright, now, this is important: did you get a tracking number for the tablet? If so, click heels together and chant "there's no place like the warehouse containing package" and then the number.
>>
No. 612424 ID: a81751
File 141876083781.jpg - (939.36KB , 2048x1778 , image.jpg )
612424

Since Oz is a dangerous place, I craft myself a wooden shank to fend off any monsters. Guess I should head East then, assuming this is the Witch of the West...unless I killed the wrong witch...OH WELL IT'S TOO LATE NOW.
>>
No. 612445 ID: 6cb462

come across a scare crow.

(note that I did not say scarecrow).
>>
No. 612450 ID: 3009b4

Obtain currency, ignore witches.
>>
No. 612451 ID: 0ee153

>>612445
Come across a scarecrow.
>>
No. 612453 ID: 8d4db0

>>612445
Come across a square brow.
>>
No. 612454 ID: 5d2f8c

>>612445
Cum across a scarecrow.
>>
No. 612455 ID: 55c4cf

Find the biggest baddest dragon.
>>
No. 612457 ID: 60700b

Come across a smoking caterpillar.

Why not mix Wonderland and Oz?
>>
No. 612463 ID: d3be40

Find the two girls (you know who I'm talking about) and merge them into one body with two heads with your phone.
>>
No. 612477 ID: 6cb462

>>612463
Find two girls from The Shining "Come play with us, Orion"
>>
No. 612492 ID: f5baae

>>612424
summon the help of Abel, somehow
>>
No. 612508 ID: 0eaf76
File 141877685971.jpg - (854.46KB , 2048x1586 , image.jpg )
612508

Suddenly I come across a strange smell. It smells awful actually. Oh god what the hell is that. Is it that weird bug thing over there? A...smoking caterpillar...? Wait am I in Wonderland or Oz?!
>>
No. 612511 ID: 6cb462

Collect super mushroom, grow, then start breaking blocks with your head, Super Mario style.
>>
No. 612513 ID: 330ce5

Neither, you are in IMAGINE NATION!
That or while you were spinning you hit your head pretty badly.
>>
No. 612519 ID: 89b2a2

>>612508
Neither, you're in a After-School Special meant to teach kids why drugs are BAD.
>>
No. 612615 ID: 534cc4

>>612508
You probably hit your head while landing and are actually in a coma.

Regardless ask that caterpiller what is up and what is he smoking.
>>
No. 612651 ID: d3be40

>>612615
Yeah, I think that's a good explanation.

Try doing mental exercises to heal your concussion or coma.

Like using your mind to summon bigger fish.

OH! Or, how about you use your mental powers to get rid of the blue lines that seem to have followed you everywhere?

Also, you may want to wake up before someone steals your new tablet.
>>
No. 612701 ID: 6b864d

>>612508
shank that bitch!
>>
No. 612728 ID: 55c4cf

blow smoke rings with the caterpillar
>>
No. 612743 ID: 687279

Tell him larvae shouldn't smoke.
>>
No. 612766 ID: bbea85

God dammit! You fell of the chair while you were spinning and now you're in a coma.
Lets just pray you don't wake up to zombies.
>>
No. 612824 ID: 0eaf76
File 141887504897.jpg - (915.70KB , 2229x1534 , image.jpg )
612824

Wait...am I in a coma? God damnit. This better be like Sword Art Online and I find some hottie to whisk me away to fight super villains. But sadly, I'll just smoke a blunt with the caterpillar...hmm...this isn't really doing anything. I just feel kind of mad.
>>
No. 612831 ID: d3be40

Then challenge the caterpillar to a game of wits! Perhaps even five games of wits!

And after you win or lose, punch him in the face.
>>
No. 612841 ID: defceb

Don't wait for Kirito to come save you. Be the Kirito. Dual wield blunts.
>>
No. 612843 ID: 687279

>>612824
Interrogate the caterpillar. Demand to know where you are. Also maybe where to get some hamburgers.
>>
No. 612874 ID: f461c5

>>612824
Use MAD to summon elves. Get more mad. Mad about the elves.
>>
No. 612883 ID: 129cf3

I've told you to shank him!
loot all his stuff too!
>>
No. 612903 ID: 987d42
File 141892233075.jpg - (808.85KB , 1993x2044 , image.jpg )
612903

That's right... I AM MY OWN KIRITO! Quickly, I grab another stick and fashion it into a shank for A DOUBLE SWORD COMBO! Boom! That caterpillar is DEAD. Eh....there's nothing to loot but a half-smoked blunt, though...
>>
No. 612906 ID: 2ec61a

take it's antenna . everyone knows that you sell random ass body parts for cash.
>>
No. 612909 ID: d3be40

>>612906
Screw the antenna, take it's scent glands!

Oh, and be careful about the hairs. Wikipedia says they have venom. Who knows what they'll do in your own mind.
>>
No. 612910 ID: 534cc4

>>612903
If you pray hard enough and believe in yourself, you can gain true sight to see that the blunt actually is a magical teleportation cigar allowing those to teleport while smoking it.

Or ,maybe not. I dunno. Could be.
>>
No. 612921 ID: 185cb8

>>612906
Wear the antenna on a silly headband.
>>
No. 612954 ID: a3681d

>>612921
Or how about emptying his skull and wearing his whole head?
>>
No. 612955 ID: 2a9886

>>612954
Perfect.
>>
No. 612972 ID: ecd0ab

>>612954
Empty your own skull and wear it as a helmet.
>>
No. 612973 ID: 55c4cf

Craft a caterpillar Kigurumi.
>>
No. 612974 ID: 6cb462

Bury the body before any witnesses show up.
>>
No. 612977 ID: fed047

Start gathering a harem of cutiepatooties.
>>
No. 613004 ID: cf3b04

Paint your self with the blood of your kill... Time to go feral.
>>
No. 613043 ID: 330ce5

>>612977
Up vote this, it be harem time.
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