answer some seagull anon hate

catch a seagull off anon, post his comment, then screenshot all the desperate requests to take the post down that slowly morph into angry, sexist diatribe

FRACTAL 2014/06/23(Mon)22:31 No. 580582 ID: c3ad33
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>>580579
sweet jesus yr right

FRACTAL 2014/06/23(Mon)22:31 No. 580583 ID: c3ad33
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satan is inconsolable

Pass out. Regret everything when you wake up. In Hell.

why be w satan when u can be w queen lucy l

well, he's out of commission. pick up his slack. youre more than qualified

get satan drunk

you're a shark at heart

smell the metaphorical blood

rip him apart

conveniently acquire the Fiery Power of Hell and take revenge on the seagulls

Steal Satan's legs for yourself.

>>580583
Drink satan's delicious tears.

check how many likes your selfie got thatll make satan feel better

FatherFreckle 2014/06/23(Mon)22:44 No. 580594 ID: 93ee39
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>>580562
player 2 has entered battle

FRACTAL 2014/06/23(Mon)22:45 No. 580595 ID: c3ad33
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satan is Weak. i can smell it. i dismember him

FRACTAL 2014/06/23(Mon)22:45 No. 580596 ID: c3ad33
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i slap his legs onto my torso bc SOMEBODY is obsessed w the concept of me having more than 2 legs

FRACTAL 2014/06/23(Mon)22:46 No. 580597 ID: c3ad33
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i am now QUEEN OF HELL

this is slightly less useless and awful than being chased by horny seagulls

>>580597
Conquer purgatory and impose a damnation tax on aerosol cheese.

>>580597
Find Hitler and make his punishment worse.

Summon rad friends, make them fellow queens of hell.

FRACTAL 2014/06/23(Mon)23:01 No. 580602 ID: c3ad33
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after imposing a hell tax on EVERYTHING, i find hitler

his sentence is 2 have poop drop on him for the heavens forever

i change the order to TWICE THE POOP. that was satisfying

but hitler is boring and i hate him. what else should i do


edit: a few days after this was posted someone approached me saying they felt the joke was in poor taste, and after hearing what they had to say i agreed that it was pretty dickish of me. they asked for me to link the explanation of why the joke sucks/apology, which you can find here:

http://pastebin.com/NGnDQ7Fp

>>580602
send demons to the ubisoft headquarters and punch them all in the buttholes

>>580602
Find the coolest person in hell and poke them with your fork. But only a little, then bump fists with them. Maybe take them up to the- wait.

INVADE HEAVEN.

Get more booze.

have a drunken party will all the cool demons in hell

FatherFreckle 2014/06/23(Mon)23:07 No. 580607 ID: 93ee39
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important suggestoin

FRACTAL 2014/06/23(Mon)23:10 No. 580608 ID: c3ad33
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i get all the demons drunk and then we all fly 2 ubisoft headquarters

"U DON'T UNDERSTAND" screams the ubisoft guy as i own his nerd ass. "GIRLS ARE SO HARD TO DRAW"

i'm not buying it. i continue 2 punch him

>>580608
yesssss now fart around his eyes so he gets pink eye

>>580608
Give him a huge wedgie then force them to make a videogame to your specifications.

steal his ability to draw dudes

FRACTAL 2014/06/23(Mon)23:17 No. 580612 ID: c3ad33
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i give him the biggest wedgie the world has ever seen.

"make them all girls," i whisper, "w no silly boob jiggle physics"

but i wedgied too hard. he's basically dead. there will b no video game. ubisoft is basically useless 2 me now

take all of the demons and put them into pigeons. possess all of the pigeons in the world and make them do things like dance and shit fancy portraits of famous people on the pavement.

Clearly the right thing to do is to annex the Ubisoft building as part of hell and punish the former developers there. Their new job is to make videogames that sexually demean and objectify men with things like midriff-baring armour, ass-cutouts that show off their asscheeks and way too much makeup. The female characters will have reasonable proportions and reasonable dress/equipment/habits/actions in stark contrast with the industry norm of every female character either being a support character, fanservice, or both.

Suggestion 2014/06/23(Mon)23:34 No. 580616 ID: c5f6d2
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>>580615
Pic related.

revision to previous suggestion: take all the demons, make them possess pigeons, make the demonpigeons shit on all things Ubisoft

>>580612
DREAMS RUINED. Steal their mtn. dew and doritos supplies and give them to the homeless.

Or y'know just consume them all. Like a vacuum.

>basically dead
Well make him fully dead then go get him from hell. You need a crack team of undead developers to make your best game ever.

FRACTAL 2014/06/24(Tue)00:15 No. 580624 ID: c3ad33
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i stand on top of video game mountain. i have killed everyone who worked for ubisoft and now they are demons who work for me. my ultrafeminist propoganda game is in the works

what now

Fulfill a dying kid's wish of becoming an evil overlord. There has to be at least one of them. Then make *another* dying kid a hero and have them both fight for your amusement.

Pants.

You see Gandhi cruising on a sweet magic carpet. Quick, catch a ride and fly out of hell and finish off those seagulls!

You see roughly 800 years of generations of hardcore white supremacist colonialist Europeans. They all have legs.

Suddenly, you gain an urge to increase the size of your leg pile.

>>580624
Make out with hot demon chix.

recruit ghandi. probably the only mortal in existence who would threaten nuclear war on the devil himself and follow through. he probably gives good footrubs

Hey now! Half-measures are a terrible thing! You still need to go conquer the east coast!

Would probably be a good idea to conquer the north and south coasts too. For good measure.

Learn dildomancy

i'm a demon sup drunk fractal ???

FRACTAL 2014/06/24(Tue)10:27 No. 580718 ID: c3ad33
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shit. i must have fallen asleep. my tail, horns, and pokey thing are gone - i guess the demons decided that if i was gonna be a drowsy little prick i wasn't allowed to be the Queen of Hell anymore

they let me keep the cool metal bikini tho

above me, The Space Shark swims in idle circles as it has, does, and will for all of eternity. its voice washes over me like the breaking waves of a warm galactic sea.

"YOU HAVE DONE WELL, CHILD. REST NOW"

and i think i will

gg m8

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE LITTLE RABBIT ORPHANS OF THE 5TH CIRCLE OF HELL!? WHAT OF THEM FRACTAL!?