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File 139640904104.png - (8.89KB , 401x341 , j1.png )
568665 No. 568665 ID: 30489f

You are a tozol named Ishi whose job as a scout as taken him to this vessel to investigate a possible precursor artifact on this derelict vessel.

Your hand scanner says it is through this closed door. What do?
Expand all images
>>
No. 568666 ID: ba8629

Fuck around trying to solve the puzzle for 12 updates.
>>
No. 568668 ID: a5c85a

open door
>>
No. 568674 ID: ba8629

Open the door with your tozol gadgets
>>
No. 568676 ID: 2e8b76

eat the puzzle
>>
No. 568677 ID: 76e97b

eat the door
>>
No. 568681 ID: b8ceae

Open the door.
Then get on the floor.
After that, you'll have to walk the dinosaur.
>>
No. 568682 ID: 012266

set weaselbar to cyberknife mode and hack the door
>>
No. 568692 ID: 2c6ff1

>>568665
What is the door made of? What is the wall made of? Can you just hack the keypad?
>>
No. 568695 ID: 30489f
File 139641075026.png - (12.99KB , 504x413 , j3.png )
568695

You say fuck it and eat the most puzzle like thing near the door. as you chew into the crunchy metal and plastic box you realize that there is breathable air on this ship so that's good.
>>
No. 568698 ID: 30489f
File 139641085617.png - (8.14KB , 362x360 , j2.png )
568698

You then apply your hax(foot) to the door and successfully "hack open"(kick down) the door. The room inside is well lit and empty save for an object sitting on a table in the center of the room.
>>
No. 568700 ID: 2c6ff1

>>568698
Scan it to see if it's the artifact. If it is, take that shit, mission accomplished.
>>
No. 568708 ID: ba8629

steal everything

examine THING

steal EVERYTHING
>>
No. 568709 ID: ba8629

taste the object

hug the object

love the object
>>
No. 568713 ID: 30489f
File 139641204380.png - (14.61KB , 512x512 , j4.png )
568713

You quickly scan the object and it is indeed where the signals were coming from, but before you are able to molest it you hear noises coming from one of the doors and reflectively draw your gun.

What tozol thing will you do?
>>
No. 568715 ID: 2c6ff1

>>568713
Sidle up on next to it and use your tails to see through the door and tell what's going on in there?
>>
No. 568717 ID: 53ba34

use TAILSENSE to sense what is making the noise.
>>
No. 568721 ID: 012266

>>568713
beat whoever it is with the dragon dildo "artifact"
>>
No. 568728 ID: 876044

Grab the artifact and be ready to hurl it at anything coming through that door.
>>
No. 568730 ID: ba8629

Grab the dragon dVIDEOGAMES and hide.
>>
No. 568731 ID: 30489f
File 139641348848.png - (17.41KB , 512x512 , j5.png )
568731

You snatch the phallic shaped artifact and go next to the door and use your blindsight. There is a lot of movement in that hall and there is something hunched over nearest to the door that is very dense. There is also a lot of less dense things moving in the hall.
>>
No. 568733 ID: ba8629

Yell "GET LOST FUCKFACE I WAS HERE FIRST"
>>
No. 568737 ID: 2c6ff1

>>568731
I think it's a tozol trying to lift open the door, and a bunch of enemies pursuing them. So open the door and provide covering fire for your ally.
>>
No. 568740 ID: 9ddf68

fuck this shit lets get the hell out of here, set up a bunch of traps if you don't fell you're running tozoly enough and try to leave as the mission always comes first. Then have something bad happen while you're running were you'll have to do something that will involve a lot of awesome/hilarity
>>
No. 568748 ID: 53ba34

no way could it be a tozol, we are a tozol and broke through one of those doors in record time. f they are a tozol they are a shitty one.
>>
No. 568752 ID: 30489f
File 139641515293.png - (13.72KB , 490x436 , j6.png )
568752

You yell "GET LOST FUCKFACE I WAS HERE FIRST?"

Someone yells back in a Tozol tongue "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

It just about slams the door into the ceiling and the Tozol shaped thing turns out to be a very irritable female Tozol with a long pony tail. She is accompanied by some very tall reptile looking aliens, they seem surprised, the Tozol seems annoyed.
>>
No. 568754 ID: ba8629

>"I'M RON BURGUNDY?"
god damn it Ishi

Say "I'm on a mission to retrieve the VIDEOGAMES so you can fuck right off."

If she doesn't back down, threaten to rough up her useless sidekicks.
>>
No. 568755 ID: 2c6ff1

>>568752
Rattle off your name and designation, all that military shit. Then ask who she thinks she is. Is she hiring herself out like some sort of petty mercenary? Delivering precursor artifacts into the hands of those undeserving? Has she forgotten what it means to be a TOZOL!?
>>
No. 568757 ID: ffa549

Begin to argue and swear at each other in high pitched rapid fire weasel chatter until the aliens are all rolling around, clutching their bleeding ears.

Completely fail to notice the collateral damage of your argument.

Then kiss. And subsequently apply the dragon dildo artifact on the other tozol.
>>
No. 568758 ID: 1ab2ad

a very irritable tozol oh no. we are in for it now.
>>
No. 568759 ID: 9ddf68

punch em to assert your dominance
>>
No. 568761 ID: 9cf680

Secret Tozol Jitsu: Chestplate Removal Technique #69!
>>
No. 568763 ID: 4f4a2c

Snout punching is the best option here.
>>
No. 568772 ID: 321d85

>>568758
Don't forget that we are a fairly irritable tozol, ourselves.

So...do you come from a high command or something? Is there any reasonable chance that the best course of action would be to hand it over, like if her division outranks yours or something? Otherwise, yeah, you keep those VIDEOGAMES on lockdown. She can go find her own, you were here first.
>>
No. 568775 ID: 30489f
File 139642092882.png - (18.04KB , 469x420 , j7.png )
568775

You say "I am Ishi, an advance scout for my fleet and I'm on a mission to retrieve the VIDE- artifact so you can fuck right off."

She says "Im Zowl, and we were fucking here first!"

Ishi: "No you weren't I was in this room way before you!"

Zowl: "We found this shit first you fuck!"

Ishi: "What you some kinda mercenary, going to sell this shit to those that-"

Zowl: "This is a fucking salvage team I gave guns to after I heard you dumb ass kicking down a door."

...

We both punch each other in the face and then claw at each other. The lizards she had brought with her just stand and watches us. I try applying the object to her face but I loose it from my grasp and it slides across the floor. She doesnt care and we continue to take turns punching each other in the face.
>>
No. 568776 ID: 30489f
File 139642106314.png - (11.45KB , 451x313 , j8.png )
568776

We stop fighting suddenly when there is a loud bang against one of the other doors.
>>
No. 568778 ID: 2c6ff1

God damn it is that another tozol!?

Get up and prepare to shoot anything that comes out of that door- I mean if it's not a tozol you don't want it getting the artifact.
>>
No. 568781 ID: ba8629

You need to scare them away.

Yell "Oh my god JC a bomb!"

Zowl: Yell "A bomb!"
>>
No. 568783 ID: 1ab2ad

yer fucked kid. pure n' simple.
>>
No. 568784 ID: 321d85

Don't lose track of the VIDEOGAMES!
>>
No. 568795 ID: 809294

Salvage Guys: Acquire popcorn and beverage. Be terrified, confused, and slightly amused.
>>
No. 568802 ID: 37aa84

Oh hell no, this argument was bad enough when there were only two sides. Besides these people are so too late for this. Temporary alliance until these chuckle heads are dealt with?
>>
No. 568810 ID: ffa549

Okay, what idiot is stupid enough to interrupt an argument between two tozols. Let's shoot it.
>>
No. 568839 ID: 9ddf68

quick while she's distracted throw her at the door and retrieve the artifact. then run like hell. If we can get out of here with the artifact we win proving that we were right and that we are better then her.
>>
No. 568870 ID: 8a3061

I never realised tozols were such potty mouths
>>
No. 568938 ID: 30489f
File 139649456686.png - (11.82KB , 451x313 , j9.png )
568938

???: "Hey Vaejra there's some people in here!"

Vaejra: "Dammit Baj you could have just lifted that door open instead of making a racket, who is in there and is the artifact still there?"

Baj: "There's two tozols and some cool looking lizard people!"
>>
No. 568939 ID: 30489f
File 139649480261.png - (10.14KB , 425x322 , j10.png )
568939

I punch Zowl in the face and scramble across the floor and pick up the VIDEOGAMES(artifact). As I try to run out of the room Zowl manages to grab my leg.

Zowl: "Where the fuck do you think your going?!"

Vaejra: "What the heck is going on in there Baj?"
>>
No. 568940 ID: 2c6ff1

>>568939
Kick Zowl in the face and skedaddle. Yell that it's yours, you got here first dammit!
>>
No. 568944 ID: a2f9bc

Shove her face full of VIDEOGAMES and then flee while she's distracted. Don't forget to retrieve the VIDEOGAMES.
>>
No. 568946 ID: f461c5

Don't forget to shout "Real tozols kick their doors open, like that guy!!!" as you run.
>>
No. 568948 ID: 30489f
File 139649917511.png - (11.02KB , 450x318 , j11.png )
568948

You apply Hax and VIDEOGAMES to her face a few times, she bites your foot but you manage to break free and dash away from her.

Zowl: "GET BACK HERE YOU FUCK!"

Baj: "Um... You alright?"

Zowl: "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"
>>
No. 568949 ID: 30489f
File 139649922075.png - (16.78KB , 512x433 , j12.png )
568949

You encounter more things.
>>
No. 568951 ID: 1ab2ad

I think this might be turning into an ear and fluff singularity. So much fluff and so many ears.
>>
No. 568952 ID: 2c6ff1

>>568949
Just stare for a bit. Then go "I was here first." Just hold onto that fact, that fact will keep you sane. The convergence is near.

Maybe you can convince them to let you past so you can get away.
>>
No. 568953 ID: ffa549

Hi. Bye. And keep walking on past right by them.
>>
No. 568955 ID: a5c85a

I was going to say tozol past them, but you can't tozol past a tozol. Politely scoot by them.
>>
No. 568964 ID: ba8629

Point behind them. Say "Look! The Precursors!"

Run away.
>>
No. 569051 ID: 9cf680

Go full Gollum mode.
>>
No. 569068 ID: 9ddf68

point back to the room you just left and say "the parties that way" and then just walk right past them. make sure they don't see the videogame.
>>
No. 569069 ID: 6b3567

VIDEOGAMES is the Prrreciousssss..
>>
No. 569105 ID: 321d85

Yep, best to keep on walking past them; try not to let them know you have anything. Fly casual. To throw them off, as you walk by, say something like, "There are some pretty angry people in that room; be careful if you go in. They may be fighting with each other."
>>
No. 569132 ID: 5869f6

>>568949
Hiss and twitch madly.

It's sure to scare them off!
>>
No. 569186 ID: 6c6fbc

>>569105
this.
>>
No. 573089 ID: aedb80

>>568949
Hide the VIDEOGAMES in the nearest backpack/inventory slot/orifice available. Walking around with that thing out is sure to raise some eyebrows.

Seriously though, if you encounter anyone else, I advise telling them to "piss RIGHT off" before sprinting to the nearest exit.
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