>bunny homunculus
Oh, you made that body? That makes it kind of more awesome!

>spys, geas, devas
All those kind of imply we're out to get something from you. Mostly we're just interested in being helpful voyeurs.

>The prince or the Crown Tournament?
...is there any reason we can't do both?

But if we have to chose, go with the tournament.

a dildo is what we call a facsimile of a part. a dragon does not have one, it can only be built.

>>486244
Might as well speak to the prince and find out exactly what he wants before making the decision. Heck, there's a good chance we could speak to him through scrying, or invading his dreams or something.

>>486242
A dildo is a FAKE PENIS.

For PUTTING IN YOUR SNATCH.

I am shocked that you didn't just ask us what a dildo is! I mean, if you can't trust your headvoices to supply you pointless information, who can you trust?!
Also, you're gonna die. Not gonna say how.

Wait, the body part she was seeking was a dragon's disembodied penis? I thought the joke was that her outfit made her look like a dragon dildo. About the right size too!

chirps 2013/01/19(Sat)01:16 No. 486298 ID: 34cbef
File 135858696385.jpg - (86.35KB , 676x469 , 36.jpg )

Eod becomes a little flustered, "I'll look into the prince thing, but I am planning on being apart of the contest."

"Fantastic, I hope to see you- as your beautiful self- there."

"I'm sorry but we can catch up at another time, my voices are becoming agitated."

chirps 2013/01/19(Sat)01:18 No. 486299 ID: 34cbef
File 135858709754.jpg - (75.75KB , 688x402 , 37.jpg )

Eod releases the spell of scrying to dive into deep thoughts. Then she talks to the audience directly, 'You have gotten my attention now And i don't take threats lightly. Who are you? Do you work for the Hinlanders, how did you leech into my mind?'

simple, you have Baron Moria's Disease. we are a symptom. at least, that is what everyone says we are. we cannot be a simple sickness because we have memories of lives other then yours, and know things you have never heard of.

Hi! We're the Baron Moria disease.

So is the dragon part its penis or what?

Perhaps you will find this quote useful.

"The Baron Moria's Disease, also known as the Voice Baron's Curse, is a tragic story of those whose minds deteriorate to the brink of insanity before they inevitably die. The symptoms start out small with minor influence to preform amazing acts of renown and claiming they were guided by voices to the extremes of genocide caused by inner demons. It is not a subtle thing truth is said when those who contract it often look forward to the quickened death it finally offers."

>Do you work for the Hinlanders
No. We work for no one.

>how did you leech into my mind?
We just do. We don't understand the mechanics behind it.

>And i don't take threats lightly.
We did no such thing. A threat means we promised to exact retribution or harm on you should you not comply with our wishes.

We simply stated a fact. You will die. All things die. You, perhaps sooner than you might have otherwise, due to the disease you have contracted.

Curiously, although we are a symptom of this fatal disease, we bear you no ill will.

chirps 2013/01/19(Sat)22:07 No. 486434 ID: 34cbef
File 135866204841.jpg - (64.57KB , 665x414 , 38.jpg )

Eod laughs out loud, "I haven't heard of any disease like thus but I've already come up with the solution to solve physical ailments like diseases or disability. I'll simply release my original body from this fleshy homunculus phylactery."

and what if we have infected your original body?

What if this is a mental, or magical problem, rather than a simple physical ailment?

I would suggest you need a better understanding of your condition before you unseal your original body.

>>486434
Well we're not spies or anything, regardless. We are here to assist you.

chirps 2013/01/19(Sat)22:48 No. 486447 ID: 34cbef
File 135866452252.jpg - (58.05KB , 605x380 , 39.jpg )

>>486435
"How would it infect my original body? I haven't used it for ages, and when I did walk in my own feet I'm sure I would recognize if I had picked up any... unpleasantries."

>>486437
"Well I am troubled that I have caught some sort of disease that reports to have magical origin and told me this itself... but I assume stranger things have happened- in a world of magic things only need to be imagined... But there are rules on magic."

>>486438
"Assist? Well you have helped me make minor decisions but what sort of useful purpose could something that's going to shorten my life have?"

we have turned peasants into warlords. i am sure we can turn a super mage into something.

>>486447

Wait! Don't dispel your homonculus! When you return to your original body, we may get dragged along with!

I have a plan for you to survive though. Arrange for this homonculus to be inhabited by some other hapless fuck's soul, either volunteered or stolen. When you sneak out of here we'll be too busy with them to follow along. Then they'll have to deal with the curse, not you. Problem solved!

We've only helped you make minor decision so far. We can be surprisingly clever, at times. The ability to rapidly analyze information or create plans of action in parallel has it's uses. Plus, we're a source of information. As my colleague's crass dildo comment proved- we know things you do not.

Yous see, the thing is, we're not actually interested in causing your death. But we're aware our presence might cause it.

Best case? You're right, and you can cure yourself by abandoning bunny-ship. So there's no harm in indulging us for a while before you have to bail. Worst case? You're wrong, and you should be cautious, and resist returning to your original body until you're sure the disease will not come with you.

chirps 2013/01/20(Sun)00:06 No. 486460 ID: 34cbef
File 135866919006.jpg - (92.34KB , 644x493 , 40.jpg )

>>486449
Eod is filled with guilty child-like glee hearing the plan of causing someone else misfortune by passing the disease to someone else.

"That'd be hilarious and fill me with horrible glee, but what sort of person don't I like enough to put into this little body? Teehehehe"

What about that avatar dude?

well let's just fuck around until we find one. no point in rushing.

>>486462

Good plan.

>>486460
The librarian?
Maybe that bastard Emporer that wants to assassinate your true self? We could destabilize an entire Empire!

Or you could grab a random psion or something from nearby.

chirps 2013/01/20(Sun)15:09 No. 486534 ID: 34cbef
File 135872336161.jpg - (70.21KB , 629x463 , 41.jpg )

>>486461
>>486522
"The subject to replace me would have to be female or genderless or else the homunculus would explode, very unpleasant if you haven't failed making one before. Not saying that this is creating a familiar spellcraft but inserting another person into it that doesn't match the gender will tear at the magics holding the creature together."

>>486525
"I haven't done anything with psions, mind magic is not the same as arcane magic or divine magic. It draws it's energy from a different source that I'm not too well versed in."

>>486462
>>486468
"Yes, maybe I should spend my time here enjoying the city. But it's so unfamiliar, I don't know where to go or where the fun things are. I wouldn't even know who to ask... You see I'm not a very sociable person unless it is another lady caster similar to myself."

The Tavern.

>>486534
Can't the gender-thing be circumvented with polymorph?

>>486544

Polymorph other can erase their memories though, and we wouldn't want that.

>>486553
Not in Pathfinder, which is pretty much D&D 3.75e. Polymorph affects 1 willing creature and has no risk of memory loss.

Isn't permanent, though, so I suggest this: http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/polymorphAnyObject.html


We find another humanoid the same size as us. Class/kingdom bonuses stack with each other, so that's +7 right there. Same size gives us another +2, which is enough to make Polymorph Any Object permanent.

>Yes, maybe I should spend my time here enjoying the city. But it's so unfamiliar, I don't know where to go or where the fun things are. I wouldn't even know who to ask... You see I'm not a very sociable person unless it is another lady caster similar to myself
Lucky you. We're plenty sociable. We'll show you a good time. Let's head out, make a ruckus, paint the town red.

>>486577

> willing creature

No fun... that's a level 8 spell too. And where are we going to find mercury? Sounds like too much trouble. I'm sure there are plenty of already females to take advantage of.

chirps 2013/01/21(Mon)00:07 No. 486624 ID: 34cbef
File 135875562994.jpg - (105.81KB , 682x937 , 42.jpg )

Eod decides to venture out to the first tavern she finds, which is called the Stink Rascals.

"Hee, I think I understand the joke. The patrons are stinky peasants that happen to be rascals."

chirps 2013/01/21(Mon)00:08 No. 486625 ID: 34cbef
File 135875569913.jpg - (133.16KB , 686x500 , 43.jpg )

Eod wanders inside and is met with this scene. She is nervous and waits for the answer of the proper way to approach people in this type of setting.

Jump up on the counter and flash your tits at them. It is an ancient tavern tradition and greeting.

Check if the patrons are all men. If so then the servers will surely all be quite female. Unless you just walked into uh... that kind of tavern...

Eod 2013/01/21(Mon)20:02 No. 486799 ID: 34cbef
File 135882733502.jpg - (112.47KB , 697x460 , 44.jpg )

>>486629
I can't tell if they are man or woman. They are all too grubby and ugly. Is there a way to tell the difference between grubby man or woman?

The ones with eyelashes are probably women. Look under their dresses to be sure.

>>486799
good lord they look nearly identical to one another. maybe our point of view is affected by your own?

well, easy way to make everyone like you at a bar is say "drinks for everyone on me!"

Of the people here, the person sitting in the middle of the three person side is the most likely to be female.

She has a braid, longer eyelashes and thinner eyelashes than her compatriots.

But no, there's no sure fire way to be sure from a visual inspection. Unless they're naked or you cheat and use magic. (What? There has to be a "detect gender" spell).

...why does their gender matter again?

Wait you're still a follower of Wee Jas right? You need to find a petty criminal to punish with this overly elaborate attempt to get free of us. Nothing like a heavy hand to maintain the law right?

>>486822

Well, anyone here has probably broken the law, so there's nothing to worry about.

chirps 2013/01/22(Tue)21:32 No. 487053 ID: 34cbef
File 135891912367.jpg - (196.08KB , 697x841 , IMG.jpg )

>>486803
Eod looks closer at the one with the eyelashes. Then she squints a bit and tries to become more open minded.

'Ah!? She became even Uglier, It looks like she's the only one in the tavern though... but... she's just so ugly....'

that's why they are commoners, they are common. you are the elite, so of course you are better, but rare.

What do you care what she looks like, anyways? Unless you're planning to seduce her or something, I don't see how it matters.

You know magic, right? Why can't you just make her look pretty?

This is clearly getting us nowhere. Try another venue!