chirps 2013/01/15(Tue)21:34 No. 485633 ID: 34cbef
File 135831447891.jpg - (71.88KB , 711x507 , 10.jpg )

"Wee-Jas, Please give me your favor in helping me get down!!!"

chirps 2013/01/15(Tue)21:35 No. 485634 ID: 34cbef
File 135831453579.jpg - (48.53KB , 679x410 , 11.jpg )

*the sound of wind blowing*

chirps 2013/01/15(Tue)21:37 No. 485635 ID: 34cbef
File 135831462774.jpg - (74.75KB , 595x466 , 12.jpg )

it's a very steep drop if i try to jump, and as a quick note i am not good at climbing. From what i see it would be a very difficult climb.

anything that's ever graced the dungeons and dragons spell list can be used

>anything that's ever graced the dungeons and dragons spell list can be used
Anything you say? What, are we some kind of insane supermage then?

Polymorph yourself into a dragon then, and take off (because it's cooler and crazier than just casting fly, and we're a crazy guillotine). Start flying away from the mountain in a widening spiral, looking for land.

If we're going to deliver our message, we will first need to discover where we are. Only then will we be able to set a proper course.

If we have at least one caster level a gust of wind in the right direction should be all we need. We can cast feather-fall and ride the wind towards our destination.

Yeah, polymorph into a critter that can fly, cause the floating platform spell is less swag. wait, fuck that, you can see the shore, just blink there like a boss.

Wait, wait, I'm not thinking big enough here. If we can cast anything, we should really just default to wish, and jump strait to completing our delivery.

>>485641
No. Using wish except for some specific preordained things is carte blanche for the DM/storyteller to assrape you. Mostly ability bonuses and duplicating spells you don't know or didn't think to prepare.

Just cast spider climb or polymorph/alter self/whatever.

Wish damages your soul. last i checked, not only does it drain xp, but it shortens your lifespan, too. this its why archmages go through all the trouble of developing great and secretive conspiracies and summoning demons and shit; selling your soul is literally not as bad for you as the abuse of wish.

But, but, doing taking completely insane and incredibly disproportionate measures to complete our given task totally fits with our law-god conduct and guillotine personality!

...fine, no wish.

Isn't there a glide spell in D&D? no fall damage and lots of horizontal movement while you are falling.

featherfall

chirps 2013/01/15(Tue)23:26 No. 485656 ID: 34cbef
File 135832118739.jpg - (79.52KB , 654x456 , 13.jpg )

so polymorph is the winner, also a long update

Eod waves her hands and says some mythical ancient language as her form begins to transform into something more suitable.

chirps 2013/01/15(Tue)23:29 No. 485659 ID: 34cbef
File 135832135593.jpg - (83.08KB , 652x490 , 16.jpg )

And she flies all the way to the stone steps with no trouble at all.

also a quick note on having a guillotine personality- it is a dominant personality quirk that would be considered 'crazy' not that she is batshit crazy at the start, I had a list of wierd ones and rolled for it. I hope you all will be amused by it

chirps 2013/01/15(Tue)23:29 No. 485660 ID: 34cbef
File 135832137991.jpg - (87.30KB , 638x499 , 17.jpg )

*pop*

chirps 2013/01/15(Tue)23:30 No. 485661 ID: 34cbef
File 135832141474.jpg - (73.37KB , 687x424 , 18.jpg )

Eod lands roughly onto the step, almost toppling her hat and the merchandise inside.

chirps 2013/01/15(Tue)23:30 No. 485662 ID: 34cbef
File 135832145133.jpg - (197.75KB , 666x955 , 19.jpg )

She enters into the city, and the rest of this picture is self explanatory.

chirps 2013/01/15(Tue)23:34 No. 485664 ID: 34cbef
File 135832166024.jpg - (63.96KB , 742x458 , 20.jpg )

"Hello librarian, I am Eod."

The librarian hurries over and whispers quickly at her, "Good good, you have the egg right?"

"Right here," she replies as she pulls the Pearl dragon egg out of her hat," you have what I requested as payment?"

The librarian looks uncomfortable as he quickly whispers in a quieter voice, "Right right your payment of 500 gold is on the table." The librarian begins reaching for the egg.

chirps 2013/01/15(Tue)23:37 No. 485667 ID: 34cbef
File 135832186380.jpg - (60.17KB , 716x425 , 21.jpg )

Eod draws the egg closer to herself, "I did not request gold."

The librarian fidgets a little in his shoes, "o-oh, isn't that right? I-i did try to send confirmation on what you wanted... I mean, I may have misread the scryed request- you know how magic is h-heh heh. Won't you please just take the gold?"

This is not what Eod was planning, but what to do about this inconvenience...

"maybe i will just make egg for breakfast then, is what i would get with just gold anyway."

also, what was it you wanted for payment?

Is it something you can buy with gold?

>>485667
Re-enlighten this librarian of the proper payment for a dragon egg, reminding him of both the risks involved in obtaining it and the long-term issues that arise with messing with dragons in general.

What did we ask for in payment? Is gold an acceptable compromise, and can it be used to procure what we wanted anyways?

Also, what's our law god's stance on this? Are we expected to honor the deal, and our responsibility to make this delivery, even if the other party welches somewhat? Or should we hold him to the agreement- law is law, and he will not be allowed to duck his responsibility in this.

chirps 2013/01/16(Wed)16:18 No. 485780 ID: 34cbef
File 135838190221.jpg - (148.59KB , 728x487 , 22.jpg )

Wee Jas doesn't ask for much about things like this. The followers are usually female and she has the furies as her righteous judgement. Wee Jas demands that we pursue our studies of magic in order to obtain roles of leadership and to gather once a year to preform a blessing ritual offering up gifts and such.

Our god is nice, huge beautiful woman protected by a curtain of flame and wearing a crown of angel tapestries.

chirps 2013/01/16(Wed)16:21 No. 485782 ID: 34cbef
File 135838210805.jpg - (83.62KB , 689x488 , 23.jpg )

This librarian is some sort of expert of dragons and dragon biology. He wanted someone to deliver the egg of one of the dragon royal crests to him for some sort of future endeavor. As recompense Eod asked that since the human was astute on the physiology of dragons that he pay in a body part of a dragon. Which he is omitting. Eod hasn't seen any easy way of purchasing this certain part of the dragon.

I assume we wanted the dragon bit to do magics and stuff?

I think we should hold on to the egg. Say we're giving him a few days to come up with his payment. If he doesn't, well, maybe we can find a way to get what we want another way. After all, dragon eggs are made of dragon parts, aren't they? (If he really needs that egg, that'll get to him).

Did you want a dragon dildo? Is that it? I mean there are places that will sell you one, but you have to know who to ask.

ether they pay you want you want or you will just harch the egg and get what you want from it once it's big enough.

chirps 2013/01/16(Wed)20:25 No. 485814 ID: 34cbef
File 135839671656.jpg - (92.21KB , 692x473 , 24.jpg )

>>485784
>>485806
Eod rolls the thought of hatching the egg herself and harvesting what organs she needs, but this particular organ would not be acceptable at such a young age. She knows that it would be much longer a wait before she would be able to offer this up as a decent gift for Wee Jas until the dragon were later in maturity, but Eod won't let this play on words go to waste. "Either you pay me what I requested, or I hatch the egg myself and take the parts I need."

"Okay, fine! I'll try to make a replica, I'm a librarian and i can't just go around chopping off limbs from any old dragon. Are you willing to take a fabricated part?"

Eod thinks on the subject for a second, then she agrees giving the librarian a short week to make this proxy organ.

chirps 2013/01/16(Wed)20:26 No. 485815 ID: 34cbef
File 135839681549.jpg - (90.81KB , 693x478 , 25.jpg )

Eod takes her leave from the librarian ignoring the course words he tries to whisper behind her back about her choice in clothing especially the lack there off. She becomes more occupied with whatever the word 'dildo' means and wonders if it is something worth asking the High mistress of the church.

chirps 2013/01/16(Wed)20:28 No. 485817 ID: 34cbef
File 135839690915.jpg - (73.09KB , 684x466 , 26.jpg )

Eod also remembers that it would be too long to travel anywhere else but that she is currently located in a foreign city that she knows nothing about...

look around for an inn, maybe you can find another mission to do while you are waiting.

Hmm. Is there a church of Wee Jas in this city? You fellow worshipers might be a source of information, or have a place you can stay.

Failing that, some place like a bar or tavern is the logical place to start looking around a town.

Do we have any money on our person? You kind of need that if we're going to buy anything.

If not, we already know we're a super mage. You could ploy into anything that could survive comfortably in this environment, or just conjure food.

I hear they have a few inexpensive taverns around that are only sometimes full of murderous thugs.

Wait proxy organ? What body part do you need?

chirps 2013/01/17(Thu)22:24 No. 486047 ID: 34cbef
File 135849025751.jpg - (54.52KB , 678x511 , 27.jpg )

Eod finds it somewhat distressing that she must constantly question herself as of late about the merchandise tendered. Alot of thoughts foreign to her have begun to spring up, she decides this is another thing to query Mistress Isabelle about.

chirps 2013/01/17(Thu)22:25 No. 486048 ID: 34cbef
File 135849033484.jpg - (49.63KB , 687x479 , 28.jpg )

It is easy enough to find an inn to stay for the period of time, and gold is of no issue. But as usual she is given the awkward and confused glances from many.

chirps 2013/01/17(Thu)22:28 No. 486049 ID: 34cbef
File 135849049688.jpg - (53.54KB , 664x478 , 29.jpg )

As soon as the room is purchased Eod busies herself in getting a certain trinket from her hat from which to communicate with the Witch's Covey- She does this because she doesn't want to look ignorant to an inferior asking such questions to the High mistress. Yes, instead Eod decides to ask Pyrina.

chirps 2013/01/17(Thu)22:31 No. 486052 ID: 34cbef
File 135849068141.jpg - (124.35KB , 614x491 , 30.jpg )

And to do so is to use the Owl Mirror, which is an old artifact obtained from Eod's adventuring days. The cute thing about this mirror is that it can also double as an owl when a special command is uttered.
Pyrina looks to be busy, this time demeaning an Agrothian Barbarian. Seemingly too distracted to look toward her scrying pools, maybe Eod should attract her attention- but how?

i wouldn't interrupt someone that is in a bad mood, just wait.

>>486047
Is it really so unsettling just to review what you know in your mind? It's not a bad habit, and prevents you from forgetting things. You shouldn't worry about it. Gah, character bothered by us trying to fill in our ignorance! That won't become a problem or nothing...

>>486052
Just aid her in demeaning the barbarian. Make creepy faces at him until he's sufficiently demeaned or unsettled to leave.

>>486052
Whip up some sort of alien, Illusionary terror rising up from her scrying pool. Come across as some sort of supernatural servant to Pyrina.

Be sure to work some sort of strong hint that it's you into the illusion if she doesn't spot you in the scrying pool right away.

chirps 2013/01/18(Fri)17:13 No. 486215 ID: 34cbef
File 135855800199.jpg - (95.43KB , 655x464 , 31.jpg )

Eod takes the initiative to try to scare away the barbarian.

That last one might do it. Terrifying!

chirps 2013/01/18(Fri)18:10 No. 486240 ID: 34cbef
File 135856144354.jpg - (92.20KB , 624x474 , 33.jpg )

ever get those moments where you got everything planned out, ready to post it all- but split up your update because you get distracted reading cucumber quest? sorry bout that

The Argothian seems to be troubled enough that he takes his leave. Luckily pyrina notices the scrying and hurries over.

chirps 2013/01/18(Fri)18:18 No. 486241 ID: 34cbef
File 135856191041.jpg - (70.62KB , 689x448 , 34.jpg )

Pyrina seems ecstatic, "Elena- why has it been so long that you have tried to message me?"

Eod replies, "I've been busy as of late and couldn't find any time. How goes it at the witch's council?"

"Oh things are fine, all sorts of things have come up and what not. Oh did you hear?"

"No, what?"

"It seems there is a new avatar of nerrul, he's been going around smiting paladins and clerics from all around Balgeroth."

"Well that doesn't seem convenient for pelor or any of those upstanding religions, does it?"

The two ladies share a quick chuckle.

"Ah Elena, why don't you message me more. I see you still travel around in that homunculus bunny of yours."

Eod draws back a little, "Yes it seems the emperor of Hinland likes death threats so much he is willing to send assassins out to kill you on sight."

"It's a shame, you were one of the most beautiful witch's of the counsel."

"What do you mean 'Were,' I'm still able to leave this body and return to my own! I just don't want the inconvenience of being hunted all the time."

chirps 2013/01/18(Fri)18:33 No. 486242 ID: 34cbef
File 135856279870.jpg - (94.17KB , 660x462 , 35.jpg )

"About as much of a joy it is to hear from you, I am still wary enough to know that this is not just a friendly call."

Eod smiles, "Don't be then because this is just a friends hello. I do need to dive into your knowledge this time though."

"Anything, I'll see what I have for wisdom."

"Well I'm almost done in retrieving an item for my collection and I have been plagued by voices. Not anything like I have received before."

"Voices huh? And it must be more then just them babbling about murder if you are willing to bring it up... It might be bad magic, or a spy-scry on your brain... Maybe it's deva?"

"Well it could be some of those, but lately it's been asking me about my identity and my choices. I must say it is being convenient in thinking for me, but still feels wholesomely intrusive."

"....Do you feel like it is a geas?"

"If it is a Geas Quest, it hasn't given me any sort of orders to retrieve or do anything yet."

"Hm, well it is probably a spy-scry then; You know some of them fledgling wizards they raise in the mageous tower have spells go off unknowingly."

"Heh, i'll give it more time before I figure out who the young mage or mages are and get them to dispell it. Now onto another question, you know about dragons right?"

"Well as much as one can know about fire breathers, yes."

"What part of the dragon is a 'Dildo'?"

"Hmmmmmmmm, now that does ponder a queery."

"It was a word used in one of those intrusive thoughts from earlier and i was wondering if it's something that is harvest able."

"It could be a miscellany of things dear, But i will be a friend and research it for you."

"Aw thanks, you're too kind. Did i get any messages or requests?"

"Well yes, the prince of Duran Agar came by wanting the spotted rabbit to retrieve something. The boy was trying to pass himself and the royal guard off as badly disguised vagabonds and cutthroats, it was cute you shoulda been there."

"I might look into it, was that all for my requests?"

"Oh, the magic crown tournament is coming up- The witch's council is doing the registration. It would be a neat little fancy if the Dark Elven Empress were to make a show at it, That's going to begin in about later next month. I would be ever so happy if you joined."

"Hmmm, I'll think about that also- I'm not sure if the little prince's request will be a long or short ordeal... I'll think on it for sure."

And eod takes a quick second to dwell on it, but which one to choose? The prince or the Crown Tournament?

>bunny homunculus
Oh, you made that body? That makes it kind of more awesome!

>spys, geas, devas
All those kind of imply we're out to get something from you. Mostly we're just interested in being helpful voyeurs.

>The prince or the Crown Tournament?
...is there any reason we can't do both?

But if we have to chose, go with the tournament.

a dildo is what we call a facsimile of a part. a dragon does not have one, it can only be built.

>>486244
Might as well speak to the prince and find out exactly what he wants before making the decision. Heck, there's a good chance we could speak to him through scrying, or invading his dreams or something.

>>486242
A dildo is a FAKE PENIS.

For PUTTING IN YOUR SNATCH.

I am shocked that you didn't just ask us what a dildo is! I mean, if you can't trust your headvoices to supply you pointless information, who can you trust?!
Also, you're gonna die. Not gonna say how.

Wait, the body part she was seeking was a dragon's disembodied penis? I thought the joke was that her outfit made her look like a dragon dildo. About the right size too!

chirps 2013/01/19(Sat)01:16 No. 486298 ID: 34cbef
File 135858696385.jpg - (86.35KB , 676x469 , 36.jpg )

Eod becomes a little flustered, "I'll look into the prince thing, but I am planning on being apart of the contest."

"Fantastic, I hope to see you- as your beautiful self- there."

"I'm sorry but we can catch up at another time, my voices are becoming agitated."

chirps 2013/01/19(Sat)01:18 No. 486299 ID: 34cbef
File 135858709754.jpg - (75.75KB , 688x402 , 37.jpg )

Eod releases the spell of scrying to dive into deep thoughts. Then she talks to the audience directly, 'You have gotten my attention now And i don't take threats lightly. Who are you? Do you work for the Hinlanders, how did you leech into my mind?'

simple, you have Baron Moria's Disease. we are a symptom. at least, that is what everyone says we are. we cannot be a simple sickness because we have memories of lives other then yours, and know things you have never heard of.

Hi! We're the Baron Moria disease.

So is the dragon part its penis or what?

Perhaps you will find this quote useful.

"The Baron Moria's Disease, also known as the Voice Baron's Curse, is a tragic story of those whose minds deteriorate to the brink of insanity before they inevitably die. The symptoms start out small with minor influence to preform amazing acts of renown and claiming they were guided by voices to the extremes of genocide caused by inner demons. It is not a subtle thing truth is said when those who contract it often look forward to the quickened death it finally offers."

>Do you work for the Hinlanders
No. We work for no one.

>how did you leech into my mind?
We just do. We don't understand the mechanics behind it.

>And i don't take threats lightly.
We did no such thing. A threat means we promised to exact retribution or harm on you should you not comply with our wishes.

We simply stated a fact. You will die. All things die. You, perhaps sooner than you might have otherwise, due to the disease you have contracted.

Curiously, although we are a symptom of this fatal disease, we bear you no ill will.

chirps 2013/01/19(Sat)22:07 No. 486434 ID: 34cbef
File 135866204841.jpg - (64.57KB , 665x414 , 38.jpg )

Eod laughs out loud, "I haven't heard of any disease like thus but I've already come up with the solution to solve physical ailments like diseases or disability. I'll simply release my original body from this fleshy homunculus phylactery."

and what if we have infected your original body?

What if this is a mental, or magical problem, rather than a simple physical ailment?

I would suggest you need a better understanding of your condition before you unseal your original body.

>>486434
Well we're not spies or anything, regardless. We are here to assist you.

chirps 2013/01/19(Sat)22:48 No. 486447 ID: 34cbef
File 135866452252.jpg - (58.05KB , 605x380 , 39.jpg )

>>486435
"How would it infect my original body? I haven't used it for ages, and when I did walk in my own feet I'm sure I would recognize if I had picked up any... unpleasantries."

>>486437
"Well I am troubled that I have caught some sort of disease that reports to have magical origin and told me this itself... but I assume stranger things have happened- in a world of magic things only need to be imagined... But there are rules on magic."

>>486438
"Assist? Well you have helped me make minor decisions but what sort of useful purpose could something that's going to shorten my life have?"

we have turned peasants into warlords. i am sure we can turn a super mage into something.

>>486447

Wait! Don't dispel your homonculus! When you return to your original body, we may get dragged along with!

I have a plan for you to survive though. Arrange for this homonculus to be inhabited by some other hapless fuck's soul, either volunteered or stolen. When you sneak out of here we'll be too busy with them to follow along. Then they'll have to deal with the curse, not you. Problem solved!

We've only helped you make minor decision so far. We can be surprisingly clever, at times. The ability to rapidly analyze information or create plans of action in parallel has it's uses. Plus, we're a source of information. As my colleague's crass dildo comment proved- we know things you do not.

Yous see, the thing is, we're not actually interested in causing your death. But we're aware our presence might cause it.

Best case? You're right, and you can cure yourself by abandoning bunny-ship. So there's no harm in indulging us for a while before you have to bail. Worst case? You're wrong, and you should be cautious, and resist returning to your original body until you're sure the disease will not come with you.

chirps 2013/01/20(Sun)00:06 No. 486460 ID: 34cbef
File 135866919006.jpg - (92.34KB , 644x493 , 40.jpg )

>>486449
Eod is filled with guilty child-like glee hearing the plan of causing someone else misfortune by passing the disease to someone else.

"That'd be hilarious and fill me with horrible glee, but what sort of person don't I like enough to put into this little body? Teehehehe"

What about that avatar dude?

well let's just fuck around until we find one. no point in rushing.

>>486462

Good plan.

>>486460
The librarian?
Maybe that bastard Emporer that wants to assassinate your true self? We could destabilize an entire Empire!

Or you could grab a random psion or something from nearby.

chirps 2013/01/20(Sun)15:09 No. 486534 ID: 34cbef
File 135872336161.jpg - (70.21KB , 629x463 , 41.jpg )

>>486461
>>486522
"The subject to replace me would have to be female or genderless or else the homunculus would explode, very unpleasant if you haven't failed making one before. Not saying that this is creating a familiar spellcraft but inserting another person into it that doesn't match the gender will tear at the magics holding the creature together."

>>486525
"I haven't done anything with psions, mind magic is not the same as arcane magic or divine magic. It draws it's energy from a different source that I'm not too well versed in."

>>486462
>>486468
"Yes, maybe I should spend my time here enjoying the city. But it's so unfamiliar, I don't know where to go or where the fun things are. I wouldn't even know who to ask... You see I'm not a very sociable person unless it is another lady caster similar to myself."

The Tavern.

>>486534
Can't the gender-thing be circumvented with polymorph?

>>486544

Polymorph other can erase their memories though, and we wouldn't want that.

>>486553
Not in Pathfinder, which is pretty much D&D 3.75e. Polymorph affects 1 willing creature and has no risk of memory loss.

Isn't permanent, though, so I suggest this: http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/polymorphAnyObject.html


We find another humanoid the same size as us. Class/kingdom bonuses stack with each other, so that's +7 right there. Same size gives us another +2, which is enough to make Polymorph Any Object permanent.

>Yes, maybe I should spend my time here enjoying the city. But it's so unfamiliar, I don't know where to go or where the fun things are. I wouldn't even know who to ask... You see I'm not a very sociable person unless it is another lady caster similar to myself
Lucky you. We're plenty sociable. We'll show you a good time. Let's head out, make a ruckus, paint the town red.

>>486577

> willing creature

No fun... that's a level 8 spell too. And where are we going to find mercury? Sounds like too much trouble. I'm sure there are plenty of already females to take advantage of.

chirps 2013/01/21(Mon)00:07 No. 486624 ID: 34cbef
File 135875562994.jpg - (105.81KB , 682x937 , 42.jpg )

Eod decides to venture out to the first tavern she finds, which is called the Stink Rascals.

"Hee, I think I understand the joke. The patrons are stinky peasants that happen to be rascals."

chirps 2013/01/21(Mon)00:08 No. 486625 ID: 34cbef
File 135875569913.jpg - (133.16KB , 686x500 , 43.jpg )

Eod wanders inside and is met with this scene. She is nervous and waits for the answer of the proper way to approach people in this type of setting.

Jump up on the counter and flash your tits at them. It is an ancient tavern tradition and greeting.

Check if the patrons are all men. If so then the servers will surely all be quite female. Unless you just walked into uh... that kind of tavern...

Eod 2013/01/21(Mon)20:02 No. 486799 ID: 34cbef
File 135882733502.jpg - (112.47KB , 697x460 , 44.jpg )

>>486629
I can't tell if they are man or woman. They are all too grubby and ugly. Is there a way to tell the difference between grubby man or woman?

The ones with eyelashes are probably women. Look under their dresses to be sure.

>>486799
good lord they look nearly identical to one another. maybe our point of view is affected by your own?

well, easy way to make everyone like you at a bar is say "drinks for everyone on me!"

Of the people here, the person sitting in the middle of the three person side is the most likely to be female.

She has a braid, longer eyelashes and thinner eyelashes than her compatriots.

But no, there's no sure fire way to be sure from a visual inspection. Unless they're naked or you cheat and use magic. (What? There has to be a "detect gender" spell).

...why does their gender matter again?

Wait you're still a follower of Wee Jas right? You need to find a petty criminal to punish with this overly elaborate attempt to get free of us. Nothing like a heavy hand to maintain the law right?

>>486822

Well, anyone here has probably broken the law, so there's nothing to worry about.

chirps 2013/01/22(Tue)21:32 No. 487053 ID: 34cbef
File 135891912367.jpg - (196.08KB , 697x841 , IMG.jpg )

>>486803
Eod looks closer at the one with the eyelashes. Then she squints a bit and tries to become more open minded.

'Ah!? She became even Uglier, It looks like she's the only one in the tavern though... but... she's just so ugly....'

that's why they are commoners, they are common. you are the elite, so of course you are better, but rare.

What do you care what she looks like, anyways? Unless you're planning to seduce her or something, I don't see how it matters.

You know magic, right? Why can't you just make her look pretty?

This is clearly getting us nowhere. Try another venue!