Trout 2013/03/04(Mon)19:50 No. 497927 ID: 4e4163
File 136245541881.png - (13.37KB , 800x600 , caravan whatever-10.png )

thunk
SHIIIIT.


... you think it worked. You're ALSO pretty sure this is Washington. Score! Reckless driving and not caring about the health and safety of others saves the day again.

Cool. So... who are we here for again? Consult the map.

Robin 2013/03/04(Mon)20:47 No. 497946 ID: 07a50b
File 136245887294.jpg - (174.76KB , 800x600 , van1.jpg )

ROBIN

ROBIN, UNLOAD GATE 2

"Ok, ok. Jeeze."

Robin 2013/03/04(Mon)20:49 No. 497947 ID: 07a50b
File 136245897538.jpg - (143.68KB , 800x600 , van2.jpg )

Well, this isn't the five palettes of socks that we ordered.

The shipper name is "THE CARAVAN BITCHES FUCK YEAH IDIOM"

It actually says that right on the tag

It's crated up good, and that shit is wrapped in plastic.

What do I do?

Oh man you know what

There is probably something SHINY in there

It can't hurt to take a peek

There's probably a person inside.

Punish them by opening the package as brutally as possible.

>>497947
Throw it in a trash compactor.

You have one of those, right?

Robin 2013/03/04(Mon)21:28 No. 497956 ID: 07a50b
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>>497952
BRUTAL YOU SAY

I happen to possess one of the gnarliest tools known to man

EQUIP BOX CUTTER

Let's just see what's inside...

Robin 2013/03/04(Mon)21:28 No. 497957 ID: 07a50b
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No... NO

That's... impossible

oh jesus.

Okay no that is bad news. Just, uh... Step away. Blame it on one of your co-workers when someone asks why it's open.

Robin 2013/03/04(Mon)22:19 No. 497965 ID: 07a50b
File 136246438335.jpg - (162.62KB , 800x600 , van6.jpg )

Trout: "Oh jesus. Okay no that is bad news."

Robin 2013/03/04(Mon)22:22 No. 497966 ID: 07a50b
File 136246456677.jpg - (160.01KB , 800x600 , van7.jpg )

"NNGGAAH! How long have you been standing there? Who are you?"

Trout: "I get that a lot. My name's Trout. You don't know me, but I know you."

Robin: "Oh, uh, ok. Is this going to be a matrix kind of thing"

Trout: "No, it really isn't"

Robin: "This cargo can't fall into the wrong hands. This calls for ACTION!"

I head off to my MAGIC SOCK LOCKER.

Robin 2013/03/04(Mon)22:23 No. 497968 ID: 07a50b
File 136246461177.jpg - (220.13KB , 800x600 , van8.jpg )

CHOOSE WISELY.

Only one color and one power may be worn at a time!

Access the memory, using the data to build your own mind-hacking device. get kidnaped by the scp foundation, and then escape RIDING SCP 682.

oh my god doughnuts

>>497968
go for luck, we need it

I'd be lying if I were to say that Power Peep doesn't sound like the best choice.

Infinity Doughnuts is the obviously the best choice

Obviously the only option is infinite donuts. its the only way to make an immortal omnicidal super-lizard join your team.

we must unleash the power of the Vast Peep

Pick up your box cutter, you need it as a wand for your Cardboardmancy!

I was asleep but I swear to go I spit milk on my monitor when I saw the polybius console XD. WE MUST HAVE INFINITY DOUGHNUTS

Power Peep POWA!

oh agonizing decision !! power peep

Power Peep

Robin 2013/03/05(Tue)11:32 No. 498057 ID: 07a50b
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POWER PEEP ABILITY ACQUIRED

Robin 2013/03/05(Tue)11:33 No. 498058 ID: 07a50b
File 136251201071.jpg - (137.35KB , 800x600 , van10.jpg )

Idiom: "I found this taped on the crate."

Robin 2013/03/05(Tue)11:34 No. 498060 ID: 07a50b
File 136251206145.jpg - (77.88KB , 800x600 , van12.jpg )

...


Well, now what?

Better tell your supervisor there was a mixup and the socks aren't here.

clearly this package was meant for you specifically. ask that guy near you if he's ever heard of this tgchan place so you can go deliver it there.

Damn idiom, looking good, you get a facelift? PLAY THE POLYBIUS, WE MUST PLUNGE INTO THE INSANITY THE government WISHES UPON US... Destroy it, we have idiom for that.

...you're supposed to deliver the cabinet to tgchan? How do you do that? Do you have to track down the physical location of the servers, or are we gonna tron this up?

>>498060
We gotta deliver it to TGCHAN of course. They might not be socks but they still gotta be delivered.

Ok, so by now you have realised that it realy is going to be some matrix shit up in here.

PLAY POLYBIUS, GAIN SUICIDE-POWERS.

Robin 2013/03/05(Tue)22:41 No. 498199 ID: 07a50b
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Robin: "We need to get this to TGchan."

Trout: "That website where people make interactive furry porn?"

Idiom: "It can't be that simple. We need to get it INSIDE the site."

Robin: "I know a thing or two about it. I've started hundreds of failed quests.

That's it!

We need to fanservicize ourselves! That is the only way to become one with the soul of /quest/."

Robin 2013/03/05(Tue)22:41 No. 498200 ID: 07a50b
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HOW CAN WE DRESS TO APPEASE THE FANS?!

>>498200
In revealing outfits that come apart and force you to expose yourselves constantly.

Obviously.

FRACTAL 2013/03/05(Tue)23:00 No. 498208 ID: 8dbc01
File 136255322393.jpg - (233.41KB , 800x600 , kiguparty.jpg )

>>498200
tragically beautiful

whatever our choice, I say Trout get's a lady outfit.

>>498200
You can appease the fans by not dressing at all. :D

>>498226
I don't see why not. All of you, cosplay your fursonas if you have one, I can't think of anything funny :(

Idiom, be out of context pictures of Fabio

Robin 2013/03/06(Wed)09:51 No. 498293 ID: 07a50b
File 136259227730.gif - (137.62KB , 550x300 , van15.gif )

>>498208
Fursuits, OF COURSE! Appropriate for all occasions public and private, sure to win the approval of any cross section of /quest/ readers ever!

>>498214

Robin 2013/03/06(Wed)09:55 No. 498297 ID: 07a50b
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There is a sound like nails on a chalkboard. It turns out to be Larro scratching his fingernails on a chalkboard from a middle school shipment.

Larro: "You've got to play the game to get there."

Robin: "But why would they... it said do not open! Why would we need to open it to get it to the destination?"

Larro: "It's reverse psychology. That's what those people at Sinnesloschen do. They get inside your head."

Sounds dangerous.

PLAY THE GAME or DELIVER IT THE HARDCORE CARAVAN STYLE?

>PLAY THE GAME or DELIVER IT THE HARDCORE CARAVAN STYLE?
Both, at the same time, obviously. Just set the game up inside the caravan and start playing while someone else drives. It's a race to see which way gets you there first.

>>498299
Best plan.

be sure to chant NEO GEO NEO GEO in the process

POLYBIUS AWAITS

>>498299
thiiiiis!

>>498299
The race is on!

It's the CARAVAN not the GAMEAVAN.

load it in the back of a company truck along with all your other stuff in the back. you know the stuff I mean. yeah. uhm, and then hijack said truck. and then don't do anything wrong until you lose all the wanted stars.

Trout 2013/07/20(Sat)23:55 No. 525981 ID: 52c28e
File 137438973036.png - (11.63KB , 650x650 , attempt at humor1.png )

You are now Trout, and you are facing some serious problems right now.

RML is AWOL. Something about doing both choices being bad and now you have no damn clue where she is and Idiom's off doing more important things so it's all up to you. You're gonna get this show back on the road or die trying or give up at some point and go back to acting like you actually update Soviet Hero still.

Let's try getting some outside help, first.

>[10:16:03 PM] ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ (Quilivi/Drgons): kick a babay in the face
>[10:16:06 PM] ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ (Quilivi/Drgons): fucking babies

Trout 2013/07/20(Sat)23:55 No. 525982 ID: 52c28e
File 137438975756.png - (6.57KB , 650x650 , vicious babymaiming.png )

PUNT

Trout 2013/07/20(Sat)23:56 No. 525983 ID: 52c28e
File 137438979350.png - (12.29KB , 650x650 , recruitment drive.png )

You really hope she wasn't just joking about that.

Okay back to work. All dead baby jokes aside, the TGChan Caravan needs to update again, and you'd rather not do it all by yourself. Cooperation is the name of the game, after all. You've got a few people who might still be interested, like Brom or Cirr or uh you guess maybe you can guilt trip Slinko into running it some more wait no that'd be mean.

You guess your objectives boil down to these two points.

1: How the hell are you going to get the Caravan on track after this?

2: Who is going to take RML's place?


(If anyone's interested in having a turn on the caravan, just say so! Or you can get in touch with me over IRC. Together we can get this trainwreck back on the tracks.)

What about that one weirdo who has no life and easily folds under pressure to lead! Like that time a bunch of folks just made RPG characters and said "You! Run a game for us!" A patsy like that would be prefect!

>>525988
who?

fuck yeah!Brom!

>>526052
I upvote this :3

Brom 2013/07/21(Sun)12:35 No. 526065 ID: 0eef61
File 137443532506.png - (13.13KB , 800x600 , 1.png )

the truck is on the side of the road, wrapped around a telephone pole.

it seems abandoned.

a cancerous plain of spiderwebbing cracks forms on the asphalt beside it.

Brom 2013/07/21(Sun)12:35 No. 526066 ID: 0eef61
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an unspeakable HookMaw GoreWorm bursts through the street, screeching obscenely into the stained air and chomping at its bit.

Brom 2013/07/21(Sun)12:35 No. 526067 ID: 0eef61
File 137443534646.png - (342.66KB , 800x600 , 3.png )

it rears back and gurgles grotesquely, then horks a syrupy gob of viscera-streaked spit onto the ground in front of the TGChan caravan.

hi, everyone. i guess the temp agency wanted me to come deliver an arcade machine or something???

Brom 2013/07/21(Sun)12:36 No. 526068 ID: 0eef61
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"thanks for the ride, bromwife."

"FUCK YOU."

"WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?"

"i don't actually know? but there's a polybius machine involved and some socks?"

"WELL IF YOU'RE NOT BACK FOR DINNER, YOU ARE FOR DINNER. THAT IS TO SAY I AM GOING TO FFFUCKING EAT YOU FOR DINNER"

"but if im not home how will you eat me"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP"

"ok honey thank you again i'll see you soon love you"

"THANKS FOR THE SWORD, PUKEBRAIN. LET'S MOTOR, SPRINKLECUP."

she spurs the coursing wormbeast back into the quivering earth

Brom 2013/07/21(Sun)12:36 No. 526069 ID: 0eef61
File 137443537598.png - (16.45KB , 800x600 , 5.png )

okay, uhhhhh

jeeze what happened here? the truck is totally totalled.

Investigate! What people and cargo are still aboard the caravan, and what condition are they in?

>>526069
this, also see if you can find a nice gift for bromwife during your trip

>>526069
Open 'er up to see if there's anything in it.

Brom 2013/07/21(Sun)12:47 No. 526076 ID: 0eef61
File 137443606151.png - (52.70KB , 800x600 , 6.png )

the back of the truck has a padlock on it; i can't open it.

RML is in the driver's seat unscathed, sealed inside a fibrous cocoon. it is warm to the touch.
i guess she's evolving her art style or something?? is that how this works?
i don't know. i'm not an artist.

idiom and trout are nowhere to be seen.

>>526076
Eh. Move her over and turn the key. Let's get this wreck on the road.

Failing that, just grab the keys and use them to open the padlock in the back.

Try using the keys on the padock. Failing that, try starting the car.

>>526141
this is better

Man Bromwife is the bestwife.

Stick RML's cocoon somewhere it will be safe and hope she does not evolve into something that eats people.

Then grab the keys and if there is a padlock key go make sure the stuff in the back has not crushed anyone. If not try to get this wreck back on the road. Failing that call AAA.

Brom 2013/07/21(Sun)18:08 No. 526212 ID: 0eef61
File 137445529185.png - (37.89KB , 800x600 , 7.png )

unfortunately my GIRLISH FIGURE does not allow me to move the rml cocoon without help.

the truck won't start, but attached to the key is the Red Keycard!

i can use this to open the back of the truck.

Brom 2013/07/21(Sun)18:08 No. 526213 ID: 0eef61
File 137445530351.png - (31.54KB , 800x600 , 8.png )

oh, there's trout.

he's cowering in front of the polybius machine, being harassed by a Missile Pod Soldier.

jeez these guys take forever to kill did i miss a secret area or something

Inventory check.

What's that floating glowing box thing next to Trout and the polybius machine?

>>526213
No, you're just missing a patch. Download the latest one, it makes Railgun spawns more common.

Hmm not enough room in there to circle strafe.

Can you throw the top part of your pointy hat into its face so trout can escape?

Brom 2013/07/21(Sun)22:07 No. 526255 ID: 0eef61
File 137446967889.png - (9.55KB , 800x600 , 9.png )

>>526232
i throw it at the Missile Pod Soldier and poke his eye out. he starts thrashing around and yelling. trout scurries out of the truck.

the polybius machine is still in there, tho.

and i guess rml.

Brom 2013/07/21(Sun)22:08 No. 526256 ID: 0eef61
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"Nice save there." trout stands up. "Good thing you have bizarrely oddjob-level hat-chucking knowledge."

"that wasn't a hat."

my INV:

i have a RED KEYCARD
i have my HALF-OP HALF-BADGE
i have $26.50
i have the ORB OF CREPUSCULAR RAGE
im holding that for bromwife she said don't touch

Bribe the soldier to go away with $0.50

If that was not a hat then what was it. Might want to retrieve that bit then.

Also what do the badge and the orb um do.

We must gather our party before venturing forth.

>>526256
Inquire Trout for the location of everyone else.

Brom 2013/07/23(Tue)12:01 No. 526532 ID: 0eef61
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>>526257
he doesn't respond; he just wails and thrashes around. he can't do anything about his eye with his metal missile hands.

>>526262
the badge is a symbol of my power over the tgchan website and irc. i can flash it at people and they get really scared after they're done laughing at me and pushing me over.

idk what the orb does because i don't touch it because if i touch it She Will Know.

>>526309
"where is everyone?" i ask trout over rml's chrysalis. we're dragging it out of the truck.
"Larro said something about scoring a ride and some blow and wandered off to go kill a motorcycle cop at the last rest stop. I have no idea where Idiom is. Rottel is playing croquet or something? I couldn't hear good over the phone. Kalt formed a cult. A Kaltcult. And RML's doing her whole cocoon thing. Looks like we need to find some people or it's just us."

"and also a way to deliver the arcade machine?"

"Oh. That fucking thing."

gotta move that gear up ! ps the machine can transform into an exoskeleton/power armor. should be a code on the back or button on the top

We should at least get Larro. He has the GPS and to be honest I don't know how to navigate Washington. I'm pretty sure cop murdering is just breaking a state law anyway.

Beyond that, we need, uh... Someone who is good at video games, for that fucking polybius cabinet. Then someone with connections, and someone with money.

Brom 2013/07/23(Tue)12:22 No. 526542 ID: 0eef61
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>>526535
oh yeah

well would ya look at that

>>526542
i suggest to fucking run!

tell the polybius mecha if its so powerful, you bet it couldnt transform BACK into a cabinet. then think carefully about three wishes

If we have a mecha, there must be something for it to fight nearby.

use MECHA on ROCKET SOLDIER

>>526542
Now destroy the puny Missile Pod Soldier with the wrath of a legendary video game!

>>526542
and about reinforcements, just .note some people and wait for them to come online!

>>526783
hell, try to recruit feepbot.

hey, why don't you see if chirps is in town- not like he does anything