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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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File 129588956266.png - (199.55KB , 870x540 , 05-01.png )
274364 No. 274364 ID: f604d6

It is a perfect day!

Lovely weather...
286 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 322076 ID: 71e3e9

>>322072
Her "special talents" would make for a pretty unique movie. And illegal on most civilized planets.
>>
No. 322079 ID: ad7e1e

Throne FIRST fuck later.
>>
No. 322082 ID: 03d7b6

>>322054
I dont think John has ever given you an actual choice in anything up to now. Just make sure Tom's your co-star.
>>
No. 322091 ID: 78e0aa

>>322054
No time for stardom, there's FREEDOME to be had still
>>
No. 322093 ID: 7caaa9

be the star of the throne.
>>
No. 322098 ID: 4183c9
File 130990537155.png - (52.61KB , 870x570 , 06-23.png )
322098

Speaking of Tom, you're pretty sure he'll die soon unless you help him.

Not that you're a doctor, but call it feminine intuition. Or, you know, common sense.

On the other hand, if you don't help him, you could go straight to throne or stardom or whatever you fucking well please. You just have to decide what you want - instead of, you know, just standing around wondering at everything and being distracted by anything shiny like some elf with mental and medical issues.
>>
No. 322101 ID: 35e1a0

sorry, but that is impossible, can only recommend stuff and then leave it to you to decide. if it was me, i'd help tom. but that's me. what do YOU want joan?
>>
No. 322102 ID: 7caaa9

>>322098

top priority is to help Tom.

wait, scratch that. top priority is to slap yourself for comparing yourself to an elf.
>>
No. 322105 ID: 07416a

>>322098
Drag Tom to throne fix him investigate kilt mysteries
>>
No. 322111 ID: c2c011

>>322098
Lets go and give Tom some booze so that he can get back on his feet. He's a scotsman, so booze should be all that's necessary.
>>
No. 322128 ID: 78e0aa

FIX Tom
>>
No. 322132 ID: 15b51b

Easy solution to John being unhelpful is to agree to what she wants in exchange for her help saving Tom first, and only if she doesn't fuck it up.
>>
No. 322152 ID: 3b202e

yeah, drag tom over to the others so that if he DOES die he'll at least die a STAR
>>
No. 322175 ID: 372336

Why did you abandon him for booze, you heartless bitch? Go help him. And after he's been seen to enough that he'll make a decent recovery, go and do this probably erotic thing John wants you to do, she said it would be fun anyway.
>>
No. 322239 ID: 2d15f2

Drink TOM.
Fuck BOOZE.
Fix BITCHES.
>>
No. 322380 ID: 4183c9
File 130996943256.png - (131.52KB , 870x570 , 06-24.png )
322380

You've heard mead has healing properties. Some say it can even heal missing bodyparts - according to legend, if you drink mead and your arm or eye or whatever doesn't regenerate within the next week, you need to prepare to fight the copy of you that regenerated from your missing part. Or maybe it's just that if you drink enough, you'll start seeing double - even yourself. And all the signs of "fighting" are from your drunken stumbling or other unspecified acts.

Well, here goes nothing.

For science.
>>
No. 322382 ID: 4183c9
File 130996946217.png - (80.91KB , 870x570 , 06-25.png )
322382

Yup, good as new!
>>
No. 322385 ID: c2c011

>>322382
See, he's a true scotsman. Now grab a keg each and go a somewhat more secluded place, get drunk and find out if it's true what they say about what's under the kilt.
>>
No. 322387 ID: 83800f

invite John, too.
>>
No. 322394 ID: 31e8c8

Yes, time for celebratory boning. Claim Tom as your wench. Or vice versa, whichever one of you wants to wear the pants in the relationship.
>>
No. 322412 ID: d9f9ef

>>322394
I don't think either of them wear pants.
>>
No. 322421 ID: 07416a

>>322382
Go to throne. Sit on throne. Exit throne, sit Tom on throne. Sit on Tom. Repeat final step.
>>
No. 322423 ID: 31e8c8

>>322412

Kinky.
>>
No. 322424 ID: 372336

>>322382

Hurrah! Now let's away to the sexmobile! Careful of John and her camera though.
>>
No. 322518 ID: 78e0aa

>>322382
back to the sexy party to investigate their musings!
>>
No. 322519 ID: 4183c9
File 130999219209.png - (200.80KB , 870x570 , 06-26.png )
322519

Yeah, you've definitely earned this!

Mmm, just doing this makes it hard to think straight.
>>
No. 322520 ID: 4183c9
File 130999223357.png - (206.21KB , 870x570 , 06-27.png )
322520

Ah!

Can't.

Think.

Ah!

At.

All!
>>
No. 322521 ID: 4183c9
File 130999227036.png - (104.62KB , 870x570 , 06-28.png )
322521

czlngliv lfilixnziuxcly lfuh asj zkuhlaizcuefafskauly

To wit: that was awesome. Hot dickings are the best!
>>
No. 322525 ID: 65b18c

the fact that I noticed it at all probably says something about my sexuality, but there's people peeking through the door.
>>
No. 322526 ID: 453e62

looks like you are gonna be a star anyway. john has the camera.
>>
No. 322542 ID: c2c011

>>322521
You earned it girl. Now lets go show off your catch to your grandparents and mother. Need to get their approval as well.
>>
No. 322552 ID: 372336

>>322521

John! Upload the film to a free porn site before she realizes! Then we can both see hot sexings and avoid getting a gold account!
>>
No. 322555 ID: 372336

>>322521

I bet those boobs feel like lovely bags of sand...
>>
No. 322584 ID: f5fe2f

Damn right they're watching, that was an explicit sex scene worthy of respect and awe. Indeed, if anyone didn't see it they would be forced to live the rest of their lives in a grey haze knowing they had missed something truly awesome.
>>
No. 322596 ID: 0d7a83

>>322584
Indeed. I'm so glad I got that gold account.
>>
No. 325140 ID: 453e62

joan is too much woman for one person.
>>
No. 325141 ID: 4183c9

Useful suggestions there, guys. 11/10.

Take it to the discus thread. >>/questdis/339630
>>
No. 325152 ID: b9bd4f

>>322521
Ask how he feels about John perhaps joining in next time?
>>
No. 325365 ID: 7c418e

>>322521
( assuming it is pointless to point the camera out to Joan )

Get dressed once you can think straight, and find out how rich you got becoming the ruler of this elf-smeared hole in the ground.
>>
No. 325378 ID: 00d3d5

>>322521
k, now go find your elf slave and make them carry all your stuff.
>>
No. 326381 ID: 4183c9
File 131068119607.png - (77.22KB , 870x570 , 06-29.png )
326381

>Ask how he feels about John perhaps joining in next time?
...Maybe it would've been better to keep your mouth shut, Joan.
>>
No. 326382 ID: 4183c9
File 131068121701.png - (118.63KB , 870x570 , 06-30.png )
326382

Luckily your dorfservant expedited the process by pre-emptively bringing you clothes. It's some very old type of traditional dorfish garment.

But now what? Should you go straight to the throne room or do you want to gather everyone up first? Proper dorfish tradition doesn't really care either way about that. In other traditions, a proper dorf formally takes control of the fort before opening the treasure vault which is conveniently located behind the throne itself.

And then there's a huge feast. You're pretty sure even Abanlorban aren't lame enough to not have dorfish pudding, which is almost a requirement for a proper feast.
>>
No. 326386 ID: c2c011

>>326382
To the throne room! Time to formally take control of this place and open that treasury. Then it's time for a massive party, invite your mom and your grandparents as well. They can join in on the second or third day of the partying.
>>
No. 326407 ID: d9f9ef

>>326382
Is dwarven pudding code for dwarven bitches?
>>
No. 326485 ID: b9bd4f

>>326382
Claim throne
open vault
look at gold
close vault
gather people
make feast
eat feast
pass out
?????????
PROFIT
>>
No. 326561 ID: 372336

>>326382

Ask someone to motorize the throne so you can gather people and look important at the same time.
>>
No. 326564 ID: 37c6aa

>>326485
I support this plan provided we replace. ??????? and PROFIT with "Like a Boss!"
>>
No. 326589 ID: 372336

>>326564

yes, you need to do all these things in a montage and have a crowd following behind you, shouting "like a boss!" after you do each one :p
>>
No. 326597 ID: a620de

>>326382
Claim throne. Tit-slap unarmed dissenters. (slap dissenters with tits. If dissenters have tits, slap tits with tits.)
>>
No. 326629 ID: 4183c9

>>326589
>montage
This coincides with a thing and brings up a point. Go to >>/questdis/339630 to discus (and/or vote) if there should be a "montage" instead of a regular update next.
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