To Vivian from Family Traditions: A giant space suit with lead shielding. Please live.

To Kharadra from Dragon Romance: Someone accidentally dropped off an entire crate of Vibroshock Bras! These babies provide neural stimulation through the straps using a complex system of fine-tuned industrial grade enchantments. Now your non-polymorphers can finally experience the joy of being groped through their tissue tits! Please sell them at discount prices! Oh and tell us if they're working~

Get well soon!

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/23(Sun)18:21 No. 126970 ID: 11f77a
File 154561810943.png - (467.11KB , 726x634 , 301.png )

Another merry holiday season for the Super-terrestrial Division! And this year we celebrate on ALP DAGA, the planet of the Chupians where Victor hails from.

And what’s this? Why it’s a gathering of friends, who place their gifts near the statue of Tars Zoa-Darth, the mythical soothsayer of the baths.

Let’s have a closer look-see.

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/23(Sun)18:22 No. 126971 ID: 11f77a
File 154561817567.png - (295.56KB , 726x634 , 302.png )

Eudora: "I guess I’ll go first to get this over with."
—
It was the journey to deliver the Boga Trumpet...

Ganymede: “I’m so happy to deliver the sacred Trumpet alongside you, Eudora! If the Nausagor stop their infinite lullaby — the Aeigoth Kraken will wake up and decimate the village that resides nearby! How lucky you were chosen for this important task!”

Eudora: “YOU put my name in the bin. YOU replace the trumpets!”

Eudora: “Why can’t they just move their stupid village?”

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/23(Sun)18:23 No. 126972 ID: 11f77a
File 154561822311.png - (362.68KB , 726x634 , 303.png )

Ganymede: “Magnificent... Rarely anyone has the pleasure to stand before such an orchestra! Each note must be precise and harmonic. We mustn’t stick around too long, for their unending serenading hums will put all of us in a deep slumber. Witness the Blower of the Dark Instrument! And look over yonder and see thy rusty trombone to replace!”

Eudora: “Stop saying words. Let’s do this thing over with.”

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/23(Sun)18:25 No. 126974 ID: 11f77a
File 154561834229.png - (391.92KB , 726x634 , 305.png )

Eudora: And so I gift the old Boga Trumpet to the fuzzy meatbags SPIKE & KITTY, who can use their combined forelimbs to play an annoying noise to their hearts content...

N'gultherh, the Herald 2018/12/24(Mon)04:26 No. 126978 ID: cc0a23
File 154565437325.png - (3.55MB , 1920x1080 , shubby 1.png )

Ten thousand eyes creak open. The black skies jingle and scream. Titanic hearts pump ichor through miles of rotting veins. Shub-Santurath Clausahky arises from his death slumber.

Gift piles tower to the heavens. Seeped from filth crusted pores, wrapped and bow tied. Judgements of the wrathful christmas mad god, ready to be delivered.

Shub-Santurath Clausahky has seen when you were sleeping, has known when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good, and now his verdict is at hand. Prepare yourself.

N'gultherh, the Herald 2018/12/24(Mon)04:26 No. 126979 ID: cc0a23
File 154565438829.png - (2.10MB , 1920x1080 , shubby 2.png )

To the Omniclaus, a neutered slave creature. Through generations of selective breeding, it has been rendered an impotent hunter, a dull thinker, and a weak labourer. The only conceivable purpose it possesses is to be amusing through its sheer worthlessness. Throw a stick and watch the simple minded beast run to retrieve it back for you. Reflect on the complete lack of value of this life form as you do so.

N'gultherh, the Herald 2018/12/24(Mon)04:26 No. 126980 ID: cc0a23
File 154565439982.png - (1.85MB , 1920x1080 , shubby 3.png )

Judgment is not yet complete. To the Omniclaus, an assortment of sweet sugar confectioneries. They unbalance the body, bring slow and painful tooth rot, provide no nutrition, and worst of all, are fiendishly addictive. Through the illusion of meaningless concepts such as 'taste', the victim is encouraged to ingest more and more poison until it grows unhealthy and bloated with indulgence. The confectioneries come in a variety of 'delicious' 'flavors' such as peppermint and licorice, ensuring their target absolutely shall be ensnared.

N'gultherh, the Herald 2018/12/24(Mon)04:26 No. 126981 ID: cc0a23
File 154565441304.png - (2.33MB , 1920x1080 , shubby 4.png )

Judgment is not yet complete. To the Omniclaus, a flayed elf skull. A swarm of hornets and bees have taken nest inside. They continually vibrate at a tooth grating frequency, and should you hold the skull for any length of time, your skin is sure to erupt into painful blisters and sores. The elf still screams from time to time, unleashing more stinging swarms from between skinless lips.

N'gultherh, the Herald 2018/12/24(Mon)04:27 No. 126983 ID: cc0a23
File 154565447459.png - (2.64MB , 1920x1080 , shubby 5.png )

Judgment is not yet complete. To the Omniclaus, a small plastic figure molded to the form of a frozen corpse. Ice has been destructively embedded into his flesh, a testament to his undoubtedly painful and cruel demise. His face is caught in a rictus death grin, preserved for all time. Press a button at the base, and machinery within the plastic corpse forces it to flail as noise emits;

I'm Mr. White Christmas,

I'm Mr. Snow.

I'm Mr. Icicle,

I'm Mr. Ten

N'gultherh, the Herald 2018/12/24(Mon)04:28 No. 126984 ID: cc0a23
File 154565449517.png - (3.76MB , 1920x1080 , shubby 6.png )

It's gone. Someone took it.

That FFFFUCKING PHASEBEAR! THAT COCKSUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LITTLE FUCKER OF A GODDAMN SHITTING PHASEBEAR. HE DID IT AGAIN. HE DID IT AGAIN!!

... Ahem.

Judgement is rendered incomplete. Nobody else gets any presents. That thieving GODDAMN PHASEBEAR will be hunted down to whatever pit of a year he's run off to, and get his goddamn SKULL CRACKED OPEN and his brain FUCKED into PASTE!

GOODBYE.

LW 2018/12/24(Mon)08:00 No. 126985 ID: 2755f5
File 154566723313.png - (325.30KB , 768x842 , HolidayBee2.png )

Icker is provided with another holiday outfits, but she's tired of dressing like a clown

LW 2018/12/24(Mon)08:02 No. 126986 ID: 2755f5
File 154566734329.png - (241.56KB , 768x842 , HolidayBee3.png )

>>126773
instead she wraps up in a warm Blanket and enjoys some tasty Manuka honey gifted to her by Anon44

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)13:54 No. 126990 ID: 8d26c4
File 154568849574.jpg - (127.22KB , 640x720 , SpikeAndKittyReceiveGift1.jpg )

>>126974
Kitty: What is your GODDAMN PROBLEM, missie? What the hell did I ever do to you to make you let Spike near any kind of instrument, let alone one with religious significance and potential eldritch power? At best, he's just going to be fucking obnoxious with it.

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)13:56 No. 126991 ID: 8d26c4
File 154568857338.jpg - (154.09KB , 640x720 , SpikeAndKittyReceiveGift2.jpg )

Spike plays some sort of eldritch tune on the old Boga Trumpet while running around carrying a rather large ANON44 BEAN.

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)13:58 No. 126992 ID: 8d26c4
File 154568868479.jpg - (213.82KB , 640x720 , SpikeAndKittyReceiveGift3.jpg )

Something eldritch happens.

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)14:00 No. 126993 ID: 8d26c4
File 154568880523.jpg - (156.74KB , 640x720 , SpikeAndKittyReceiveGift4.jpg )

Kitty: And now my panties are gone in some sort of deranged "PANTY GET" situation. Who knows who else is now going commando because Spike's an idiot and sending a bunch of used underwear to Sarah for Christmas.

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)14:22 No. 126994 ID: 8d26c4
File 154569013062.jpg - (145.56KB , 640x720 , PantyGone1.jpg )

Nem: Boo? Could you bring me another pair of panties? Someone magically nicked my Christmas knickers again.

Barry: What do you mean AGAIN?!

Nem: Well a couple of years ago the OMNICLAUS traded me them for some mulled wine, but people seem to make such a big deal about my underwear that I don't even give it much thought anymore. Well, as long as they're just magically giving me a draft. There's only two people who are allowed to take my drawers off physically.

Barry from a distance: You have a lot of "Mistletoe" panties, Baby.

Nem: Uh-huh.

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)14:29 No. 126995 ID: 8d26c4
File 154569056269.jpg - (375.40KB , 640x720 , PantyGone2.jpg )

Meanwhile...

There is an uproar from the distance. Many voices scream about a ruined ritual and the sudden disappearance of panties.

Again, apparently.

Anita: Does anyone else feel a draft?

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)14:57 No. 126996 ID: 8d26c4
File 154569227068.jpg - (116.60KB , 640x720 , PantyGone3.jpg )

Lily: ANITA! My panties! They're GONE!

Anita: Oh my goodness!

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)14:58 No. 126997 ID: 8d26c4
File 154569232622.jpg - (118.03KB , 640x720 , PantyGone4.jpg )

Anita: OH MY.... Goodness....


Wait, is this just some more of Nem's slash fiction?

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)15:02 No. 126998 ID: 8d26c4
File 154569254276.jpg - (109.94KB , 640x720 , SamiSlashFic.jpg )

Sami: Heh, no. Nem only does slash fiction of Deem & Hin. This is some of MINE.

Amy: And it's GOOOOOOOD. Whatcha gonna call it?

Sami: "Anita's Awakening: The Witch Who Lost Her Panties and Discovered Ass Eating."

Amy: Niiiiiiiiiiiice.

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)15:10 No. 127000 ID: 8d26c4
File 154569305370.jpg - (163.04KB , 640x720 , SKCommentary1.jpg )

Kitty: GODDAMMIT, SPIKE! Aside from Sami & Amy, how EXACTLY is this supposed to be a nice Christmas gift for ANYONE?!

Smik 2018/12/24(Mon)15:11 No. 127001 ID: 8d26c4
File 154569311088.jpg - (154.04KB , 640x720 , SKCommentary2.jpg )

Spike: It's a nice gift for Anon44!

Kitty: ...

Kitty: ...

Kitty: ... yeah, probably. Well. Touché.

LW 2018/12/25(Tue)07:58 No. 127004 ID: 2755f5
File 154575350319.png - (217.74KB , 579x773 , KoPxmas2.png )

>>126808
Princess Reef: 'Dearest Lilly, I've gifted to you a warm coat to keep your bare limbs warm in these cold winter months, I hope it serves you well!'

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/25(Tue)11:55 No. 127006 ID: 11f77a
File 154576771010.png - (322.79KB , 726x634 , 307.png )

[BZZZZRRR!]

Numax: “GASP! My perfect coat!”

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/25(Tue)11:55 No. 127007 ID: 11f77a
File 154576773922.png - (372.37KB , 726x634 , 308.png )

Numax: “Sashi?! You jerk!”

Sashi: “What’d I do?”

Numax: “Don’t play dumb with me!”

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/25(Tue)11:56 No. 127008 ID: 11f77a
File 154576777521.png - (528.05KB , 726x634 , 309.png )

[BZRRRRRRM!]
Numax: “How do you like THAT?!”

Sashi: “My fur! I have a date tonight and now everything’s ruined!”

Deemus: “Hey! What are you doing to her?!”

[BZZZRRRT]

Deemus: “Like that?!”

[BERRRRMZZZZT]

Deemus: “My goatee!!”

[BZRRT!] [BRMMT!] [BZRR!]

[BRRRRMZT] [BRRT] [BZZZT-ZZT] [BUZZZZ]

Dama: “This was not the family I raised...”

Yamelle: “Oh dear...”

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/25(Tue)11:57 No. 127009 ID: 11f77a
File 154576782450.png - (541.96KB , 726x634 , 310.png )

Victor: “And so, this holiday, the Yamelle-Damas pitched in for ANITA’S gift! May the soothsayer deliver among the stars!”

Victor: “I present a Chupian poncho, knitted from the tough hairs of my brethren to survive even the coldest winters in Alp Daga!”

>>127009
Now that they figured out Victor was the one that started everything, I wonder how they’re going to get back at him?

(still working on reaction images, I haven't forgotten.)

Working on the last gift! Expect it some time before the new year.

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2018/12/29(Sat)17:10 No. 127078 ID: b5fb67
File 154613225888.png - (74.81KB , 1058x782 , Secret_Santa_2018_1.png )

Sarah: "Hey Eudora! I heard you like to punch things, so I got you these brass knuckles. Well, they're not brass. More like a titanium alloy. But they're great for punching! I think!"

Eudora: "Hey, neat. They fit my hands though, right?"

Sarah: "Er..."

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2018/12/29(Sat)17:11 No. 127079 ID: b5fb67
File 154613226362.png - (70.36KB , 1025x735 , Secret_Santa_2018_2.png )

*Ding!*

Sarah: "What the... is that a giant pile of pa-"

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2018/12/29(Sat)17:11 No. 127080 ID: b5fb67
File 154613226865.png - (79.60KB , 677x598 , Secret_Santa_2018_3.png )

WHUMP

Sarah: "Ggggkkkkgkg."

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/30(Sun)15:34 No. 127096 ID: 11f77a
File 154621287660.png - (558.11KB , 726x634 , 311.png )

Cybil: “Does digital printing take too long to put a gun in your hands in the heat of battle? Are you tired of being halfway across the galaxy and forget your immunities?”

Cybil: “For my gift I bring a quantum-defying invention for ELENA. 4-D Epaulettes to keep everything within distance no matter where you are in the universe!”

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/30(Sun)15:35 No. 127097 ID: 11f77a
File 154621290150.png - (511.29KB , 726x634 , 312.png )

Cybil: “Fasten this baby like a shoulder guard and it just works!”

Cybil: “You just have to set the coordinates exactly right as planets and galaxies are constantly changing positions at unfathomable speeds.”

Cybil: “Observe as I reach inside my workshop billions of miles away! A bottle of gifted wine will do!”

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/30(Sun)15:36 No. 127098 ID: 11f77a
File 154621297109.gif - (13.70MB , 726x634 , 313.gif )

Cybil: “Sometimes you may need an assistant on the other end to hand you your merchandise.”

Cybil: “Hmm, taking a lil’ while...”

Cybil: “I’ve only ever done this once before.”

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/30(Sun)15:36 No. 127099 ID: 11f77a
File 154621300285.png - (534.20KB , 726x634 , 314.png )

Cybil: “Ah! There we go!”

Cybil: “And whabbam!”

Sarcopholacooda 2018/12/30(Sun)15:37 No. 127100 ID: 11f77a
File 154621304508.png - (447.12KB , 726x634 , 315.png )

Cybil: “...”

Cybil: “I have no idea what this is...”

>>127098
Love the references.

>>127100
...It looks like an internal organ.

You may have killed something or someone.

>>127132
Naw, it's probably from The Rock so it's fine.

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2019/01/04(Fri)17:47 No. 127185 ID: b5fb67
File 154665287156.png - (448.55KB , 954x1111 , Secret_Santa_2018_4.png )

Anita: "Hey Macha! Merry Christmas!"

Macha: "Hello lady! Merr Christmas!"

Anita: "I heard you like Pokemon, so I called in a favor and got you something special."

Macha: "What is it?! What is it?!"

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2019/01/04(Fri)17:47 No. 127186 ID: b5fb67
File 154665287797.png - (450.10KB , 955x1108 , Secret_Santa_2018_5.png )

Anita: "A real-life Pokemon of your own!"

Macha: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Which one is it?!"

Anita: "You'll have to open the Pokeball and find out!"

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2019/01/05(Sat)17:26 No. 127198 ID: b5fb67
File 154673801728.png - (486.24KB , 955x1110 , Secret_Santa_2018_6.png )

Nem: "Seriously? A real Pokemon? Good lord..."

Lily: "Ah, I think she'll be fine. Anyways, here's some wine for ya!"

Nem: "Ooo, is that mead?"

Lily: "Yeah! Store owner told me it was honey wine, so that's like... similar, right? But to hedge my bets, I got some really nice Cabernet Sauvignon."

Nem: "I'm definitely going to need it with this Pokemon running around."

Smik 2019/01/06(Sun)04:29 No. 127202 ID: 8d26c4
File 154677776392.jpg - (178.93KB , 640x720 , MachasGift1.jpg )

Macha: I gotta MAGIKARP!

Nem: Ahh, you got her a "pokémon".

Anita: YES. YES THAT IS WHAT I DID INSTEAD OF BEING SOLD A REGULAR CARP FOR AN EXORBITANT PRICE.

Nem pours a glass of wine.

Nem: Care for a glass, dear?

Anita: YES, PLEASE.

Macha: I'm gonna train him and make him a Guyaydoe! I'm gonna call him GROGDOR!

Nem: Well, we'll all help you take good care of Grogdor. We'll start by getting him a bigger home.

Macha: YAY!

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2019/01/09(Wed)22:51 No. 127233 ID: b5fb67
File 154710308722.png - (193.80KB , 804x1003 , Secret_Santa_2018_7.png )

Elena: "Uh... hello Annabelle, Gina, and Logan! So I kinda... left my Christmas shopping to the last minute, and I wasn't able to find anything to really suit your likes... so I uh... got you guys these Chili's gift cards."

Elena: "Mer... Merry Christmas! I guess!"