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File 156538586485.png - (53.87KB , 1024x768 , ELCCTitle.png )
941955 No. 941955 ID: e7c7d3

It's true they do!
Expand all images
No. 941956 ID: e7c7d3
File 156538589406.png - (160.72KB , 1024x768 , elcc1.png )

..Oooph... My head...

It feels like I fell head first and my entire body just squished into my skull
...And the throbbing pain feels like my body is trying to escape still...

Where am I? Who am I? I look around to search for clues and am just greeted by endless void. Not even echoes are coming out of it.

Then I notice the obvious light coming from behind me. How did I not notice that? I turn around.
No. 941957 ID: e7c7d3
File 156538591597.png - (755.96KB , 1280x1024 , storefront.png )


Okay, how did I not notice that?

Mort's Accounting: Let us handle your life, huh? That's an odd thing to be in a void.
Though I suppose me being here is also a weird thing to be in a void.
No. 941967 ID: b1b4f3

Alright head on in.
No. 941975 ID: 11f77a

Mort's Accounting eh? Ya know, "Mort' is Latin for death! You might be dead, or have died, or will choose your method of dying!
No. 941976 ID: 3d1dd5

Go in and be the best person you can be!
No. 941998 ID: e7c7d3
File 156540134168.png - (272.73KB , 1024x768 , elcc3.png )

>Head on in.

Yeah, that seems kind of obvious in hindsight. Not sure why I paused to think about it. I'm just overlooking a lot of things today. Er, period of time relative to being in a void?

I walk up and open the old, wooden door. I am immediately assaulted with the smell of smoke, both fresh and stale. Real tar-filled stuff. I blink a few times to adjust to the sudden source of light and the sounds of an argument fly past me.

"-ot called work if you only due one task every thousand years!"
"Sure it is. I did work so I'm working."
"No, you are proof that something can come from nothing if you wait long enough!"
"And you did. And something happened."
"But I shouldn't have to wait for the heat death of five realities for you to do your basic functions!"
"I do my basic functions."
"Smoking cigars is not your basic function!"

Sounds pretty heated.

>Mort is Latin for death!

You think so? I just figured it was short for Mortimer, which is totally a name for an accountant to ha-
No. 941999 ID: e7c7d3
File 156540137736.png - (260.17KB , 1024x768 , elcc4.png )

-aaaaaand that's a skeleton. I'll shut my trap now.

As soon as I'm fully in the building the two arguers stop and turn to look at me. A skeleton in clerk attire appears to be perplexed at my presence and a black, fuzzy thing in a mask just kind of sways to and fro in my direction.

There's a noticeable beat of awkwardness before the skeleton speaks up.
"What's this?"
The black creature just leans back and puffs on it's cigar.
"You know what it is boss."
Yes, I know what it is!" The skeleton starts fuming again. "I'm asking what it is that they're doing here!"
"I told you, I worked." The creature replies while continuing to lounge on the counter.
"You failed to mention that you finally did your job right this minute!"

Aaaaand the argument starts right back up, with the skeleton doing most of the shouting and the fuzzy creature answering in the fewest syllables possible.
No. 942000 ID: b1b4f3

Ask them what the fuck is going on.
No. 942001 ID: 9876c4

Y'all got a slushie machine?
No. 942004 ID: 3d1dd5

Ask if they have a telephone.
No. 942005 ID: 11f77a

I agree. We need some answers, Mort!
No. 942169 ID: e7c7d3
File 156547580986.png - (172.30KB , 1024x768 , elcc5.png )

For a bit I just sort of uncomfortable just stand there while the two continue their disagreement. Looking around the room there appears to be not much here. No plants, no goods, no slushy machine. Not even a thematically appropriate soda-jerk fountain. Just a bunch of dusty cupboards and drawers. I look back at the argument and notice the fuzzy creature staring at me.

"Boss," it interjects the skeleton's shouting. "Boss you've got a job to do."
"I've got a job to do?! I've-!?" The skeleton tenses up and lets out a silent, exasperated scream. "Fine. FINE! Put boiling blood to work." He turns to me. "Just wait a bit and we'll get to processing you shortly. Just need to gather your records first." In short order, the skeleton turns and exits through a door at the back.

I have records?

An awkward silence descends upon the room, only broken by the creature loudly puffing on it's cigar. Or maybe it's a cigarillo? I dunno, I'm not a tobacconist.

>Ask if they have a telephone

"Sooo..." I start, trying to get the time to pass faster. "Do you have a telephone that I can use?"
"Who are you thinking of calling?" It immediately responds. It's got me there, Though I'm sure I can come up with someone to contact.
"Er, a friend?" I stammer.
"Nope, no phones here. Not the right time period." It leans back and starts staring at the ceiling.
"Oh, um," That's certainly an answer. "Then do you have.. a telegraph machine?"
"You know someone who can receive telegraphs?" Got me again.
"Maybe? I would at least like to try." I retort.
"Nope, it's broken." It's gaze starts wandering around the room.

>Ask what the fuck is going on.

Yeah, I think I reached my limit here.

"Okay, I've had enough!" I shout, continuing the trend of yelling at this thing. "What's going on here? Where am I? Who am I? What's the deal with this place? What what is the deal with you?!"
Finally, some life snaps into the creature, and I think a grin appears on it's face. Although I guess the mask is always grinning.
"Oh, the little one wants to know what's going on?" A deep chuckle escapes from it. "Well hold on to your little skull, because this will blow your tiny mind!"

It pauses for dramatic effect.

It pauses for too long.

"You're dead!" It raises it's arms triumphantly. Kind of already figured that out though, and I let my boredom show on my face.

No. 942171 ID: e7c7d3
File 156547585812.png - (179.34KB , 1024x768 , elcc6.png )

The skeleton returns, carrying a box of various things.
"Don't listen to that big galoot." He then places the box on the counter.

>We need answers, Mort!

I turn my attention to the presumed Mort.
"So I'm not dead?" I shoot him a quizzical look.
"No, while not delicate, this goomba was right in that regard." He leans closer towards me. "To actually answer your questions though, You've died and the Powers That Be shunted your soul towards us to deal with your fate. Here we deal with inter-reality reincarnation, so don't worry about about your living deeds sending you to a permanent destination. Speaking of which, did you happen to belong to a religion that espoused reincarnation?" He professionally folds his fingers in front of himself.
"I.. don't think so? I don't remember anything like that, anyways." I answer truthfully.
"That's fine. That bit of memory would've stayed if you were." He continues patiently. "I will have to check to see if any of your past lives did though. Which brings me to the unfortunate and boring part of the process. I will need to go through all your past lives, including the life you just had, and figure out where to send you next. You, for your part, just wait patiently while I do all the paperwork."

Kind of disappointing, but I just sort of stand there in silence trying to process everything Mort had said.

"Thankfully, while we work on this, you can entertain yourself in the plaza." Mort says.

The plaza? I shoot Mort another quizzical look. But before I can ask anything the black creature rudely pushes me out of the building.
"Yup, have fun out there!"
No. 942172 ID: e7c7d3
File 156547588125.png - (647.83KB , 1280x1024 , plaza.png )

The door clicks behind me.

Huh, there's a plaza here now, with shops even!
Let's see... There's Classy Costumes, a hobby shop named Plastic People, a guy playing cards, a bar called Sex in a Cup, and a casino called The Big Scores.
The guy playing cards is not a shop, I should clarify.

What should I do?
No. 942178 ID: b1b4f3

Do you remember, like, anything at all? Do you have any money on you?

Check out Classy Costumes to see if you can get a handle on the economy here, maybe they don't use a type of money you're familiar with.
No. 942211 ID: 3d1dd5

Classy costumes sounds like a good first stop. Dress to impress.
No. 942331 ID: ce39da

Hey, you're naked! Get thee some clothes.
No. 942573 ID: e7c7d3
File 156581543279.png - (200.96KB , 1024x768 , elcc8.png )

>Do you remember anything?

Only in a general sense and concepts. Like, I know what a plant is. I can point one out to you. But the specifics? I'm not able to describe the shape, structure, or even colour with any confidence.

>Do you have any money?

Nope! I'm totally broke. As demonstrated by this comedic moth flying away from where my money should be.

Come to think of it, I don't have pockets either. So where did that moth come from? This place is weird...

>Get thee some clothes.

Sounds like a good way to get some pockets! And then that moth can have a home.

I head on in to Classy Costumes.
No. 942574 ID: e7c7d3
File 156581547025.png - (328.20KB , 1024x768 , elcc9.png )

Inside, I'm met with pale fluorescent lights and inoffensive instrumental music. The person manning the counter is gently humming along to the tunes while sewing on a shirt. Their hands move in smooth, continuous motions. Never stopping and never making a mistake. It's rather hypnotic. Eventually, they notice me.

"Oh, hello deary," they greet in a soft, sweet voice. "It's always a delight to get a visitor."
"Hi, sorry, but what sort of currency do you use here?" I ask.
"Hmm? Oh we accept most forms of cash and credit." She sort of chuckles. "Why, it might just be simpler to go over what you do have and I can tell you if we accept it."
"I, uh, don't have any money." I stammer out.
"Oh dear, I'm afraid that is one of the few things that the register won't accept. But still, browsing is free!" She chirps. "Go on, look around, try some things on, have a bit of fun while you're in my shop."
"I wouldn't want to cause you work," I say. "Especially since we both know that I won't be buying anything."
"Oh no, that won't do, dear." She waves towards the various clothing. "These are my pride, and I would have them bring a bit of joy, even for a brief time, than have them sit on the shelf doing nobody good. Come, come! Let me help you into some."

I getting the impression that it would be rude not to try on some costumes.
No. 942575 ID: e7c7d3
File 156581552244.png - (9.75KB , 563x663 , elccpape.png )

"Here here, Stand on this podium. Let me get the size of you, my dear." She ushers me onto a little raised step and takes out one of those clothe tape measures.
"Now of course I can fetch you some ensembles. Just say the words and I'll grab something that fits your description. But of course, it's much more fun to dress yourself up! Use your imagination! It doesn't have to be fancy. I'll accept anything you come up with, even if it's paint with a mouse. I just want you to have fun, deary."
"Paint with a mouse? Is that a saying around here? Sounds pretty difficult to do." I mull it over.
"You'd be surprised, my dear." She retorts. "But never mind that. What do you have in mind?"

(Paper doll time! Feel free to type out a costume idea. But I would encourage you to scribble on something regardless of your skill. Our protag here is fairly simple, so don't worry about messing them up. Up to you though!)
No. 942583 ID: 422cea
File 156582124948.png - (17.93KB , 563x663 , set sail for adventure.png )

An outfit worthy of a clueless turnip such as yourself.
No. 942660 ID: 9876c4

Needs aviators and I'm sold.
No. 942696 ID: ce39da

Hm, very spindly and limp form. You would benefit from something loose-fitting, I think. Get yourself a Miss Fisher style ladies' trenchcoat (like white with big, black buttons) and matching bowler hat.
No. 943058 ID: e7c7d3
File 156625448436.png - (281.55KB , 1024x768 , elcc11.png )

It takes me a little bit before I get into it. At first I just sort of wander the aisles, looking for something presentable. You know, like I was shopping for clothes. About the only thing that I could call regular clothing was a white trench coat. But even then, it had comedic sized buttons and a large, goofy fedora. It's surprising how long it took to dawn on me that I was in a costume shop.

But I did eventually get it.

Ending up in the props section, I just randomly grabbed two: a foam sword and a pair of cheap, plastic aviators. No rhyme or reason, just two things I thought looked neato. To egg me on, the seamstress tosses me something from a nearby rack. I think it was an aristocrat costume, but I had only gotten the puffy, white shirt on before she was pushing other costumes in my direction.

Soon I get into the swing of things. Just trying on things that catch my fancy. I take a large belt from a cowboy get-up, I steal a rad sash from a dancers dress, borrowed a leather vest from some robin hood costume. It became pretty clear i was heading towards a swashbuckling look. Catching on, the seamstress rushed off and brought back appropriate pants and boots while I grabbed a red bandana.

Yes, a pirate! I strike a pose for a non-existent audience while the seamstress applauds my choice.

But a melancholy mood quickly sets on me. I still don't have money for any of this and I start putting things back.
The seamstress puts her hand on my shoulder. "oh, I know dear. It's a bittersweet thing. But chin up! Tell you what, why don't you keep the glasses."
"You sure?" I ask, turning to her. "I mean, you are running a business. I can't expect you to just give away things for free."
"Then we'll just call it a sample, my dear." She chuckles. "Besides, those glasses make you look like an absolute ROGUE.
"Why did you put emphasis on that word like that?"
"Hush dear, just because we lean on the fourth wall here doesn't mean you need to lampshade it."

"But still," She continues. "Don't waste all your time here, deary. I'm sure there's more to see! Do have fun out there." She waves me goodbye as she returns to her project at the counter.
No. 943059 ID: e7c7d3
File 156625456448.png - (290.11KB , 1024x768 , elcc12.png )

With a wave, I exit Classy Costumes. The plaza now has a cozy tinge thanks to my brand spankin' new aviators. Otherwise, not much has changed this time around. Except now that fellow is building a house of cards, it seems.

From Mort's accounting I hear familier shouting, and the dancing of shadows on the windows tells that a lot of movement is going on. I suspect that my file is not ready yet. even if it is, I think I'll let Mort cool down a bit first.

So where to now? There's still the other three shops.
No. 943060 ID: b1b4f3

Oh I see what's going on here. The bar is where we select male or female, and the casino is where we pick attributes. Not sure about plastic people.

Ask the card-playing guy what his deal is.
No. 943173 ID: ce39da

Yeah, let's check out the man with the cards. Maybe we can get our fortune told?
No. 943183 ID: 9876c4

We're not drunk enough for fortune-telling.
No. 943185 ID: 0efe8e

Plastic people is where we'll probably get our appearance, so my vote is for that.
No. 943335 ID: e7c7d3
File 156651157075.png - (387.74KB , 1024x768 , elcc13.png )

>Ask the card-playing guy what's his deal.
>Check out the guy with cards.

I approach the man building the house of cards. He seems hyper-focused on his project so I do try to move into his line of vision as not to spook the guy. But even walking right up next to him, he doesn't seem to notice me. I just sort of stand there and watch for a bit.

Man, he's bad at this. Though I can't judge because I have no idea if I'm better.

Eventually, the awkward silence gets to me and I say something.
"Hey." I say, as gently as I can. Doesn't matter though, because the house of cards breaks apart immediately.
"FFFFfffffffffhey, how's it going?" The man turns to me. "What can I can I do for ya?"
"I just wanted to know what you do here." I ask. "I mean, are you an entertainer? Do you do fortunes with those cards?"
The man starts collecting the cards. "Fortunes? Nah. Right now my job is to do nothing and I'm playing with these cards to pass the time."
"Nothing?" I'm guessing not in the strictest sense, since technically playing cards is doing something. "Don't take this the wrong way, but then what are you doing here? I mean, things seem to pop in when they're needed around here."
"And pop out too, yeah." The man straightens himself out and starts idly shuffling the cards. "But that's not entirely accurate. I mean, we don't just suddenly come into existence out of nothing. That's only really happened once. Nah, it's more of your perception switching on and off of things. From my perspective, I've always been on break, playing with these cards, and it's only just recently that we've been allowed to noticed each other."
"Er, allowed?" I ask.
"Yah. Let's be honest: you're currently awaiting what happens to your immortal soul by beings that are older than you can even comprehend. Let's not pretend that some higher being isn't pulling some strings with our senses."
That's certainly something to chew on.
"So who's this higher being then, and what's their deal?" I continue my questions.
"That's......." He mulls it over. "That's one of the questions I can't answer. Look, since nothing is required from me for the time being, I'm free to answer your questions. I just can't guarantee that I can answer all of them. Can't escape rules, ya know?"

Hmm. Is there anything that I should ask him?
No. 943338 ID: ce39da

"One of the guys in there complained about the other guy hardly doing his job, and that I was the rare case where he did. So I take it this isn't what happens to most people when they die?"
No. 943357 ID: 9876c4

Is a person tied to who they've been and what they've done?

What if the paperwork's done, but we don't like the person it describes? What happens then?
No. 943595 ID: e7c7d3
File 156676910981.png - (215.58KB , 1024x768 , elcc14.png )

>"One of the guys in there complained about the other guy hardly doing his job, and that I was the rare case where he did. So I take it this isn't what happens to most people when they die?"

I ask about the fuzzy creature in Mort's. What is his deal and how does that relate to me?

He sucks in a breath and starts getting sloppy with his shuffling.
"That guy... It's true that they hardly do their job, and it's just your lucky stars that when they actually do it, you're the customer. But no, we're a fairly busy workstation. Once you're done here we'll probably get another client fairly quickly. See, we've got a lot of phsycopomps working with us. It's just the one with any personality is also the laziest." The man sighs. "Don't worry about it though, if they hadn't picked you up, someone else would've. This system has too many safeguards to let a soul slip through the cracks."

>"Is a person tied to who they've been and what they've done?"

"Yes, but perhaps 'tied' isn't the best word." He looks about in the air, trying to catch the right words in his mind. "So here's the thing: Souls, and subsequently the bodies they inhabit, are one of the few things out there with free will. This makes souls one of the most chaotic things in all of the realities. I mean, without any outside influence, you can just decide to ignore your own fate and take a different path. This is an incredible power that most souls don't even know they have!" At this point, he has stopped shuffling and is using his free hand to gesture his points. "So souls have no obligations to their past, because, and I can't stress this enough, you can change your destiny on a whim! But! But! Here's the crazy part, and I wish I could properly explain just how insanely bonkers this is: despite being unbeholden to anything, the pure chaos that is a soul, tends to follow fate and destiny anyways! They follow paths and patterns! They have the gift to ignore the plans of gods and yet they just cheerfully follow along!" He's gotten really worked up at this point. "So! So. So if you were an intellectual with a things for butts in your past lives, then you're most likely to be an intellectual with a thing for butts in the next life as well, even though you don't have to be. What we do is find and confirm these patterns. Are you tied to your previous life? No, but it sure tells us what you're going to choose to be in the next life."

He pauses. Takes a few deep breaths and collects himself. Honestly, if I knew that question would send him on such a rant I probably wouldnt've asked it.

I wonder if my next question will do the same.

>What if the paperwork's done, but we don't like the person it describes? What happens then?

He slouches down and starts setting up a game of solitaire.
"Well, that's a bit of tough luck, but you aren't stuck with what you're born as. You get to choose who you become, who you grow up to be. That is a gift you mortals have. To change the pattern that your soul is following."

He lets out a sigh.

"Now, unless you've got any more questions, I suggest you continue browsing these venues. I'd recommend hitting the bar first and maybe saving Classy Costumes for last, but it's up to you" He says as he starts his card game.

Not that getting going is a bad idea. Where should I go?
No. 943596 ID: ce39da

"Ah... I just went to the costume place, actually. I'll be sure to hit up the bar next though. Real quick before I go, though; once I'm done being processed, what then? I take it all the stuff I'm doing here will determine what I'm reborn as?"
No. 943599 ID: b1b4f3

Go 2 bar.
No. 943763 ID: e7c7d3
File 156703934950.png - (314.51KB , 1024x768 , elcc15.png )

>I take it all the stuff I'm doing here will determine what I'm reborn as?

Before I go, I ask the card man one last question.
"So what's all this stuff with the shops then? Am I not determining what I become right now and not by what's in my record?"
He doesn't even look up at me.
"Like I said, we look for the patterns," He then idly waves a hand towards the stores. "And we confirm them." A slight smile creeps on his face. "Besides, how do you know that you're choosing something different than what your record says?"
Hmm, I'm not sure I like that question, but I can't really say why...
"Well, I guess I'll head to the bar then. Good luck with your card game!"
He mumbles some sort of acknowledgement as I head into Sex in a Cup

>Go 2 bar

When I enter, there's a faint wheaty smell and soft, yellow light washes over me. There's a slight stick to the floor as I approach the bar. I am greeted by someone who fits a fairly traditional image of a demon.

"Well, hi there! You traversed across the afterlife just to see me?" She gives me a wink.
"Heh, yeah, I would've if I knew you were here." I quip back, trying to be a smooth as possible. I think I nail it...? It can be kind of hard if one is being suave or creepy sometimes. Still, she gives me a good-natured chuckle.
"Then we better make sure to make your trip worth it! What can I get for you, pilgrim?" She motions to the various bottles and containers on the shelf behind her.
"Oh! Right! About that! Whaaaaat can I get for... free?" Any chance I had at being suave just took a nose dive into an empty pool.
"Oh my goodness!" She exaggerates a shocked look upon her face and slaps her hands to her cheeks. "What a coincidence! It just so happens that Super Happy Hour juuuuust started, And that means you can get one of our house special custom mixers for absolutely free!" She turns around and softly hums a tune, seemingly grabbing random drinks.
No. 943764 ID: e7c7d3
File 156703939241.png - (411.63KB , 1024x768 , elcc16.png )

She places her acquisitions in front of me.

"Alright, so here's how this is going to work: we're first going to start off with a base. The main show for the drink. The main thing you taste. The, if you'll for give me for sounding snobbish, The physical body of our cocktail!" She upturns her nose and haughtily twirls her wrist as she says this. "Now, I know some of these things may seem like they won't be any good together, but I say be adventurous! Give things a try because you may just be surprised by what works. Just go with your gut and choose what you think will work. You'll be fine!"
"So, I'm suppose to try new things by being adventurous, but also not try new things by going with what I'm comfortable with?" I give her an incredulous look. "Is that what you're saying?"
"Yep!" She chirps. "Now let me run you through your options at this stage of the game."

Richard's Reserve- "This stuff will put hair on your chest. It's the kind of drink that'd have commercials that constantly use the words "smooth," "rich," and "Oak barrels."

Sparkling Pearl- "You know it's fancy because it had edible glitter in it! The sort of drink that you'd buy for when you're hanging out with the girlfriends, but end up just drinking straight from the bottle some saturday night."

Mixed Tropical Fruit Vodka- "Don't judge, this stuff is pretty good. Both cheap and tasty! The best of both worlds!"

Straight-up Mix Base- "I... I think it's just club soda? Nothing exciting, but sometimes we need something more neutral in life."

"Now what'll be, cadet!"
She starts to chill a glass while waiting for my response.
No. 943765 ID: 422cea

Start me off with that there reserve, ma'am.
No. 943768 ID: b1b4f3

So we've got:
a mix

I'm gonna vote man.
No. 943780 ID: 9876c4

Reserve, with a shot of that mix base in there.
No. 943786 ID: ce39da

"I like to set a quiet stage and let the rest of the ingredients put on the real performance. The Mix Base, please."
No. 943793 ID: 8d4593

Mix Base, please.
I'd prefer a little room for some nuance.
No. 943795 ID: 0fae41

Sparkling Pearl! I'd rather be shiny.
No. 943798 ID: a9af05

No. 943884 ID: e7c7d3
File 156719606796.png - (377.00KB , 1024x768 , elcc17.png )

>Start me off with that there reserve, ma'am.
>Reserve, with a shot of that mix base in there.
>Mix Base, please. I'd prefer a little room for some nuance.

"Hmm, I'm feeling a strong pull towards Richard's reserve there." I tell the barmaid, and she dutifully starts pouring it into a different, metal cup. "But could I also have a bit of the plain mix-base in there as well?"
"Certainly, cowboy." She smiles. "But I am going to have to count your main choice as the Reserve. I hope you understand."
"I think I do." I respond. Man, I hope I'm understanding this correctly. I think I have a good grasp of what my choices mean so far, but I can't shake this feeling that one of them is going to trip me up here.

"Alright soldier, now that we've chosen the body of the drink we've got to figure out the added flavour next. This will be the first thing you taste before melding into the flavour of the base. The first encountered bit. First impressions. This will also affect the appearance of the drink. Change how it looks without changing what the body brings."
"Does the appearance really matter that much?" I ask in ignorance.
"Of course! A good chef knows that presentation is everything. Now, here's what I've got for you:"

Fuzzy Cherry Pop- "Super carbonated and slightly sour, sugary beverage. Actually pairs rather well with the Reserve. Some think they just naturally go together, but that can be debated.

Creamy Melon Creme- "A more subtle and demure flavour. Can be seen as at odds with the Reserve, but that just makes the taste more interesting. Don't let perceived rules stop you from what you want."

Wild Berry Syrup- "This ones interesting. The precise flavour can be hard to pin down, and you can different answers depending on who you ask. But it is what it is and it doesn't need to answer to anyone!"

"Got any preferences, spacer?"
No. 943885 ID: b1b4f3

Looks like:

I'm gonna go with the Fuzzy Cherry.
No. 943886 ID: 422cea

Wild Berry Syrup.
No. 943887 ID: 9876c4

Rogues tend to be a bit dandyish, so let's do the mixed berry.
No. 943888 ID: 0efe8e

I gotta put my vote for the mixed berry as well.
No. 943893 ID: ce39da

Wildberry syrup. I like my drinks like I like myself; complicated.
No. 944071 ID: 86794b

rolled 2 = 2

Side note: if we wanted to mess with the "patterns", we could roll for something. Granted, maybe we "always do that" or something. Eh.
No. 944077 ID: 259024

if you really wanted to try to mess with patterns, you could just leave the bar now and not have a drink. But that'd be lame.
So,lets go with the wild berry one.
No. 944082 ID: 0fae41

Cherry pop sounds delicious. Carbonation and alcohol, what can go wrong?
No. 944083 ID: a9af05

Cherry Pop
No. 944104 ID: f2320a

Cheery sounds good but those thicc melon juice sounds good
No. 944128 ID: 8d4593

Wild berry syrup.
A little mystery draws people in.
No. 944142 ID: e7c7d3
File 156744683533.png - (290.02KB , 1024x768 , elcc18.png )

>Rogues tend to be a bit dandyish, so let's do the mixed berry.
>Wild berry syrup. A little mystery draws people in.
>Wildberry syrup. I like my drinks like I like myself; complicated

I point towards the Wild Berry Syrup "That one sounds like fun!"
"Alrighty, hombre!" She picks up the syrup container and pushes to shots of syrup into the Reserve and quickly mixes them together before pouring it into a tumbler.

"Tada! You're own little drink to claim as your own! Doesn't have a name, but should be enjoyable none the less. Kind of basic. There was a third option, but management nixed that one a while ago."

She places the glass in front of me. It smells a bit like caramelized fruit pastry. At least I think so. I go to drink it when a sudden thought occurs to me.

How do I drink in this form? I move my hand over my front teeth, failing to find an actual mouth.
"Don't think too hard about. Just drink." She says, as if reading my thoughts.

Welp, down the hatch!
No. 944143 ID: e7c7d3
File 156744689949.png - (138.14KB , 1024x768 , elcc19.png )

It is a pretty tasty drink! The first sip, hesitantly just to see if I could actually sip, kind of tastes a bit like blue raspberry. That sort of berry flavour that tastes more like sugar than of the fruit. A bigger swig reveals the rest of the flavours. After the blue raspberry there's a sort of spread of burnt sugar filling my mouth quickly followed by the dry sting of alcohol. Closer to a good, genuine tequila. Which I was not expecting from the Reserve. I try to nurse the drink I can, but it's not long until I finish the glass. Still got plenty of drink for a freebie though!

I quickly look down at myself to see what I've become.

I seem to be the same. That's kind of disappointing. I turn to the barmaid.
"So sorry to ruin the game a bit, but wasn't this suppose to change my gender?" I ask.
"No worries." She leans on the counter, cleaning the metal mixing cup. "Keep in mind though, that sex is tied to your body, which you don't have yet, and gender is how you perceive yourself. So that's not going to make a change to your soul. Besides," She playfully pokes me on the nose "What sort of physical changes were you expecting for a skull turnip to take?"
"I guess," I admit. "Still was expecting something to come out of this. Other than a tasty drink, of course!" I hastily add, because I don't want to insult her.
"Ah, I think I understand." She says, contemplating my glasses. "A souvenir of the experience, so to speak." She momentarily looks around the room. "I could give you a cocktail umbrella, tape it on you so it looks like it's tucked behind your ear. Though I understand if that's not enough."

I too look around the room, seeing if there's anything reasonable to commemorate the event.

"While you're thinking on that, what were you planning next?" She inquires. "I see you've been to Classy Costumes. So heading to the hobby shop or the casino next?
No. 944147 ID: 0efe8e

Casino, we should get stats before making an appearance, this way there won't be to much disparity between them.
No. 944169 ID: 422cea

Hobby shop, so you can walk around butt naked with your newly established sexual characteristics.
No. 944173 ID: d60904

Ask her to sign the umbrella!
No. 944224 ID: ce39da

"If the first two were about biological gender and masculinity vs. femininity, I'm guessing the third option had to do with sexuality? I can see that getting nixed; people are pretty fluid about that these days. I think. I dunno, I don't have any real memories. Guess I'll do stats at the casino next."
No. 944230 ID: 9876c4

Blatant gamesmanship; but wouldn't having skills and hobbies affect our outcome at a casino?

Makes sense to me.
No. 944292 ID: ce39da

Except gamesmanship dictates that's not what the hobby shop is about at all.
No. 944482 ID: e7c7d3
File 156780916201.png - (207.20KB , 1024x768 , elcc20.png )

>Casino next
>hobby shop

Hmm, I'm kind of split on where to go next. On the one hand, getting a body might give me an edge at the casino. I mean, who knows, maybe I'll get a body that gives me psychic powers. On the other, getting stats would also help get me the body that I want instead of something more average.

The barmaid looks at me concentrating. "You don't need to think so hard about a token of your visit here. It's not that important." She smiles a bit.
"Oh, I figured that part out already." I explain. "I'll just tuck the cocktail umbrella behind my aviators. Though... could I ask you to sign it?"
Her eyes open wide in surprise, even if her posture doesn't show it. "Hm? That's a new one. Sure, I don't see why not." She plucks the umbrella from my hands and pulls out a marker from under the bar. She quickly scribbles something on it and sticks it in the arm of my glasses.

Was kind of hoping to find out her name this way, but I guess I'll just have to look at it later.

She speaks up after a beat. "Well, if it's where to go next that has you stumped, then let me decide for you. Go to the casino next." She says as she begins to wipe down the counter.
No. 944484 ID: e7c7d3
File 156780922191.png - (349.46KB , 1024x768 , elcc21.png )

Well, I have no reason not to listen to her, so to the casino I go.

Entering the building Immediately find myself stepping on lush carpet accompanied by the sounds of soft jazz. A simple and meandering tune. Probably meant to help people lose track of time while they gamble. I walk to what appears to be a reception booth, with a somewhat larger person turned around looking at some TV screens.

I cough to get his attention. He turns about and looks around before settling his eye downwards. He visibly slumps just a bit more at the sight of me.

"Oh. Hello." He practically sighs.
"Hello!" I try to let my cheeriness drown out his dourness. "I was just wondering if it was possible to play some of the games for free, or am I required to buy some chips first?" I'm just presuming I can use the casino without cash. After all, the previous two places had something I could do for free, and this all does seem to be part of the process. Not even sure if they even get actual paying customers in this realm, come to think of it.

He doesn't answer. Instead, he starts looking around his booth, even adjusting himself in his chair to get a better look at one of the corners. Eventually he grabs something out of my sight and tosses it on the counter.

"Dummy chips. Marked so that the dealers know not to give actual chips in return and have micro-doodads so the slot-machines don't play out." He explains while counting out six for me. I take a look at the dummy chips and find that they have different letters on them.


Somehow, it doesn't surprise me.

"Alright, so what are my options for games?" I ask.
No. 944485 ID: e7c7d3
File 156780925330.png - (698.06KB , 1024x768 , elcc22.png )

He waves towards the rest of the casino. "Currently, not much. Always have the slots. Press a button to start, get numbers, insert chip to drop the lowest number. Simple. We have a dealer at the card tables." He motions towards the dealer, a person seemingly wearing both a suit of armour and the employee's outfit, who waves back at us. The receptionist continues. "Cards are more involved. Is a proprietary method. Dealer can walk you through it." Once again, the dealer waves.

"Just the two options? Doesn't seem like much for a casino." I accuse.
"Expecting more for a cheapskate?" he grunts.

Man, he just has amazing customer service skills. I can see why he's in reception.

So where to first?
No. 944488 ID: 9876c4

Card Table.

Don't need aviators to play @ sluts Slots.
No. 944492 ID: 0efe8e

Cards, because if an emotionless skull face isn't a good poker face then I don't know what is.
No. 944561 ID: ce39da

Cards. Gives us at least some agency, and if our stats end up sucking, at least it'll be our fault instead of RNG bull-hockey.

"Hello, sir! Your receptionist seems pretty grumpy. I take it the lack of any paying customers has something to do with it?"

If he confirms and asks how we figured: "Well, let's say I've been noticing a trend."

If he answers in the negative: "Hm? So people do pay for stuff around these parts? What for? I just assumed these were all facades for how we created characters? ... Unless there's like a drachma-on-the-eyes system for better stuff I've missed out on?"

Either way: "Well, it doesn't matter either way. Explain to me this game you have here."
No. 944679 ID: a29e83


Cards! better to have shitty stats we chose then good ones we didn't.

side's we might be able to get good stats we chose which would be ideal.
No. 944684 ID: e7c7d3
File 156806641021.png - (202.81KB , 1024x768 , elcc23.png )

>Don't need aviators to play @ Slots.
>Cards, because if an emotionless skull face isn't a good poker face then I don't know what is.

Alright. Cards sound like the better option. Not only will I get some control over the numbers of my stats, but I may even have an edge.

I approach the card table and the dealer waves to me a third time. They seem excited to be playing cards. I'm getting the impression that they don't get much to do. Which makes sense since it seems I'm the only customer.

>"Hello, sir! Your receptionist seems pretty grumpy. I take it the lack of any paying customers has something to do with it?"

"Hey," I wave back. "So What's with that other guy. He's rather... Abrasive."
"Haha, yeah!" Their laugh bounces around the inside of their helmet. "They're always been a stick in the mud."
"Alright, I kind of figured it was due to the lack of paying customers. You know, lack of practice for their interpersonal skills." I say, trying to be diplomatic about things. Not sure why I decided to be polite about it. Guess I just want to prove that I'm better than that guy.
"Hm? No, we get plenty of paying customers." They answer.
"Oh, so there is a way to bring money here." I say. "I'm presuming coins on the eyes sort of deal. Do paying customers get better treatment?"
"Er, no, that's not quite how it works." the knight shifts uncomfortably. "It's more of... the conceit of the games and tasks change a bit. Ah, same results, just they'd have to also consider how to spend their money wisely. So don't worry that you're missing out on anything! Oh jeeze, I never know how much to lift the curtains. That's usually #######'s job."

I"m not sure what name they just mumbled, but it made my brain go fuzzy for a bit. Like the world was becoming noise as the infinite started to come into focus.

"Anyways! The card game!" They change the subject. "Let me go over the rules.

To start off, you first decide how many and which chips to put down. The goal of the game is for you to get the highest numbers for each of your chips while the house is also trying for the highest number on their side. All cards range from one to six. There is no set number of carders for each value. While unlikely, it is possible for all cards to be a six. I've only seen it happen once though. The game goes through four phases: a setup round, two regular rounds, and then the reveal. Each round involves us trading cards to get the best values. I should mention that there is a general rule of no take-backsies. That is to say, if someone trades two cards, the other person can do that exact same trade. Those cards can be traded with other cards and a trade between those same positions can happen if different cards occupy them. Hopefully that'll make a bit more sense later on.

1.-For the first phase, we do setup. You will receive a card for each chip you bet to be placed in front of the chip. These cards will dealt randomly to each chip, so you don't get to assign them. The house receives cards, dealt randomly of course, equal to half of your betted chips rounding up. So if you bet three chips I will get two cards. All cards are played face-up.
-After all the cards are placed, we then do a single round of trading. You designate which two cards you would like to exchange places. This exchange can be between the houses cards and one of your chip's card, between the cards of your different chips, or even between the cards that just the house has. Not sure why you would do that last one, since placement of my cards doesn't matter as much yours does, but it is something you can technically do.
-After you've traded once, the house then does a trade following the same rules. Again, not all trades would make sense for me to do, but I can still technically do them. Just remember the general rule of no take-backsies also applies to me.
-After those trades, we then move on to the next round.

2.-For this phase, all positions receive face-down cards, randomly dealt. Each of your chips will receive one face-down card along with the face-up card. The house will receive face-down cards equal to half of your betted chips rounding up, once again.
-Then, without revealing them, you will look at all the face-down cards you have received and the house will look at theirs. Once everyone knows what cards they have, we once again move onto trading.
-Following the same trading rules above, you will exchange two cards of your choice and then I will do the same. This time, however, there is no limit to the amount of trades that can be done. The only caveat being that for every trade that you do, the house can trade immediately after you.
-The round ends when you decide to not do a trade. So that does mean that the house will always get the last trade.

3.-The third phase is near identical to the second phase. All of your betted chips will receive a second face-down card, giving each chip a total of three cards. The house will again receive face-down cards equal to half of your betted chips rounding up.
-You will able to look at, without revealing, your new face-down cards, but you may not look at all the face down cards on your side. That is to say, if a face-down card started on the houses side then you may NOT look at it at this time. The same applies to the house: they will look at the new face-down cards that they have received but not all face-down cards on their side. That is to say, if a face-down card started on your side then the house may NOT look at it at this time.
-The final round of trading then begins. Following the same rules of before, no limit to the number of trades.
-Round ends when you decide to not do a trade.

4.-The final phase is the reveal! All cards are shown face-up and the totals for each chip and the house is tallied. Hopefully, you will get the numbers you wanted for each each chip you betted.
-Since this is a free game, there is no true win condition for either side and there is no payout. Sorry.

Phew! And those are the rules. If there's anything I need to clarify then feel free to ask. But for now, how many chips do you want to bet and which ones?"
No. 944685 ID: 9876c4

Okay, so In simple terms, a 456 is a win, and a 123 is a loss.
We want to end each round with more wins than losses, and stop trading when we can't make a trade without losing a win.

Our odds are best at keeping our best cards with an even bet, with our card advantage at 2:1. Betting 5>3>1. The more cards we have, the less likely the dealer can trade away our best ones.

I support betting all 6 chips outright, or 4 followed by 2.
No. 944689 ID: ce39da

I too support even numbers, but going all-in on all six of our chips seems way too risky. Even bunching four of them together might be pushing our luck. I say we go with three games involving two chips each. Ideally, we should pair recommended buff and dump stats together. As a rogue, let's start with STR and DEX, and play to have DEX come out on top.
No. 944695 ID: a29e83


Now I'm not overly familiar with DND adjacent systems so correct me if i am wrong.

STR,DEX,CON,INT and WIS are our combat stats. the first three are obvious and the last two should be magic equivalents for the first two.

CHA is non-combative and gives passive bonuses for social interactions and contributes to things like lie roles.

so in theory if we want to be hyper combative we could do something like DEX,CON,STR or we could a more standard CHA,CON,DEX configuration.

I'm fine with either but we need to choose ahead of time.

Also we might want to pair our stats according to degree of value. IE if 123456 are our stats in descending order we pair 1 and 6, 2 and 5, 3 and 4.

this would give us more flexibility in our distribution since the our dump stat is paired with our null stat and we have a similar setup for our secondary stat the we can balance our tertiary and Quaternary stats however we like.

for my final input the author is playing the dealer and will almost certainly cheat to put us where they want us. so if we want to shoot for the stars we need to pay very close attention to make sure our sixes have no take-backsies written all over them.
No. 944700 ID: 9876c4

A standard D&D rogue needs DEX, CON, and INT
CHA and STR are nice for logistics, and WIS is the safest dump stat.

I favor a larger field of cards so that more 'Wins' are out there.
Going all in on a game you've never seen before is a total rogue move, too.
No. 944705 ID: 422cea

Your direct combat stats (at least in 5th edition) are...

Strength for martial melee and heavy thrown ranged weapons (throwing axes/hammers).

Dexterity for finesse-based melee (daggers/rapiers/etc)/ and ranged weapons like bows/guns and throwing darts/shurikens.

Wisdom is the spellcasting stat for clerics, druids, and rangers. Essentially spiritually attuned magicks that rely more on a insightful approach and knowledge from experience.

Intelligence is the spellcasting stat of Wizards. Book smarts/technical application of skill apply here too.

(As they always say, intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing to not put it in a fruit salad.)

Charisma is the spellcasting stat of paladins, sorcerors, bards, and warlocks. The force of personality that lets your big dick ego power your magic.

Whether these apply in the same context in this quest is beyond me, but our class was already defined as a rogue. We'd definitely want our dexterity to be our strongest stat, followed by wisdom second, and constitution last. Whether multiclassing/subtypes are in our future, intelligence could let us be spellblade of some manner.
No. 944715 ID: 0efe8e

I think we should try for as high a charisma as possible, that way we can talk our way out of most situations with a more favorable outcome than the usual.
Dexterity as the secondary stat, because what kinda rouge ain't got them sexy moves.
No. 945029 ID: e7c7d3
File 156843917994.png - (355.51KB , 1024x768 , elccg1.png )

I'm rather conflicted as what to do.

I'm thinking betting an even number of chips. Seems like my best chance. But then how many? Doing all six seems risky, so maybe two chips?

But which two chips? Dex seems like a good choice, but what do I match it with? Do I pair it with str? But str could be handy in some situations. So maybe wis? But wisdom seems like something that you shouldn't skip on... Plus, what if I just get bad cards? There won't be much room to salvage things into my preferred stats with just two chips.

Oh man, what do I do?

>Going all in on a game you've never seen before is a total rogue move

You know what? Screw it! I'm over thinking this.

"Alright, I'm all in! Betting all my chips!" I tell the dealer.
"Very well," They say, while placing the card deck into an automatic shuffler under the table. "Not the correct card game, but I understand you. Let's see how the lots lie."

The dealer picks up the shuffled deck and deftly tosses cards around the table.


1 6 4








"Have a fairly good array this time around." The knight states. "Now this is the set-up phase, so only one trade each. You first, good soul."

Just a heads up, I'm going to try to update this rather frequently, about every day or so depending on responses. Just so that this mini-game doesn't take till the end of the year to finish.

I like to think that I'm a good enough of a game master to not have my characters use out of character information, but i realize that you'll sort of have to take my word for it. If you catch me blatantly cheating though, feel free to call me out.

No. 945034 ID: 9876c4

Trade DEX for the 6 seems obvious.
No. 945035 ID: 0efe8e

yeah 6 to dex seems like the obvious choice for this stage.
No. 945043 ID: 422cea

Ditto with the last two.

We're a rogue, we need our key combat and skill stat to be peak.
No. 945083 ID: e7c7d3
File 156850411104.png - (363.92KB , 1024x768 , elccg2.png )

>6 to DEX

"Yeah, my move seems kind of obvious." I say.

I trade my DEX 1 for the dealers 6.

"Indeed, my move is also obvious." The knight states.

Dealer trades their one for my CON 6.

"That's why this phase has only one trade." They explain. "Otherwise, we'd just trade around our top cards to no avail. Really, this is more for the fact that you can't fold if you have a bad hand. Gives you some control over what you're given."
No. 945084 ID: e7c7d3
File 156850415459.png - (363.69KB , 1024x768 , elccg3.png )

"Anyways!" They pull more cards from the shuffled deck and toss them about the table. "Now we get into it a bit more. Now we get into the bluffing? Who has the better cards?"

With a motion, they give me permission to look at the cards I was dealt while they look at theirs.
STR received a 3. CON received a 4. DEX received a 5. INT received a 1. WIS received a 5. CHA received a 3.

I think I received some good numbers, honestly. Don't need to buff DEX so much as protect it. Will need to decide what stat I'll want to boost up next though.


6 1 4 ? ? ?


STR 5 3

CON 1 4

DEX 6 5

INT 4 1

WIS 2 5

CHA 3 3

"Now then, good soul, begins phase 2. You may begin trading and I shall follow."
No. 945085 ID: e7c7d3

So after posting this, I find out that the spoilers make it a bit difficult to read the face down cards. That's what I get for being clever. I'll try something different next update so that it'll be easier to read but still denote which cards are face down.
No. 945089 ID: ce39da

"To be clear, no take-backsies means each card can only be involved in one trade across the entire game? I'd assume that to be the case since exhausting all combinations of possible swaps would take gosh-dang forever. I want to be sure, though."

Okay, so we're not touching DEX. If I'm right about no take-backsies, then I'm debating between swapping our known 1 in CON with one of the dealer's unknown (sweet if high, less ammunition for him if low) and swap-securing our 5's.
No. 945099 ID: 9876c4

If we were to swap our face down cards to the knight, do we still know their position?

Do their values remain known to us? If so I may have an idea...
No. 945101 ID: e7c7d3

A card can be used in multiple trades, just not the same trade twice. So the one in con can't be traded back for the six in the dealers area, but it can be traded for any other card.
Values and position will remain know to you and will be tracked in the updates. The dealers cards will remain as '?', but you will also know their position if they end up on your side.
No. 945104 ID: 0efe8e

I say we swap the Hidden 3 in our CHA for the dealers 4, but I'm not great at planning ahead so if someone else has a better (and much more thought out) plan, then I'll probably chime in on theirs.
No. 945105 ID: 9876c4

Let's swap our facedown in Con for the faceup 6.
Since it's facedown, the dealer will treat it as a 'lose' and trade it back to us.

That said, it'll only work after he runs out of definite 1s.
No. 945136 ID: e7c7d3
File 156857727081.png - (386.17KB , 1024x768 , elccg4.png )

"Well, alright." I say. "That 6 still seems good to me. I'll give you one of my face down for it."
I trade my CON {4} for the dealers 6.

"That's fair," They mutter. "I'm rather uncomfortable that you have both face-up 6's on your side, but it also would do me no good to chase them down, currently. So the card they gave me could be 1-5, putting me at.. hmm.. Very well, no sense playing it risky with so many unknowns. I shall trade my 1 for one of your face-downs. Let's see... Well, STR is the first on my right, and it's just as likely to be better than a 1, right?"
Dealer trades their 1 for my STR {3}.


{4} {3} 4 {?} {?} {?}


STR 5 1

CON 1 6

DEX 6 {5}

INT 4 {1}

WIS 2 {5}

CHA 3 {3}

What to trade next?
No. 945137 ID: 9876c4

Trade a 1 for one of his facedowns. Either Str or Con.
No. 945163 ID: ce39da

"Gonna take a gamble here and pray." Swap your face-down 1 for one of his unrevealed face-down cards. Our statement is misleading, but not false; he might think it means "I don't know for sure your card will be higher," therefore, it's not a 1, QED; whereas it actually means "crossing my fingers and praying he doesn't trade it back."
No. 945173 ID: e7c7d3
File 156867141657.png - (374.46KB , 1024x768 , elccg5.png )

"Well, I think I'm gonna take a gamble on this one." I bluff. Thankfully, I'm pretty sure there is no way to read my face for tells. Not actually sure how good I am at lying, come to think of it.
I trade my INT {1} For the dealer's middle face-down.

"Well, we are in a casino. Gambling is appropriate." They respond. "That is unfortunate though. I noticed that you didn't exactly jump up to immediately take back these cards of yours, so that has me thinking that they may not be the best for me. How about I give this one back for that four of yours? If I gave back something high, not as much of a loss, but you also might not fight for the four back as you would if I took one of those sixes. At least, that's my reasoning."
Dealer trades their {4} for my INT 4.


4 {3} 4 {?} {1} {?}


STR 5 1

CON 1 6

DEX 6 {5}

INT {4} {?}

WIS 2 {5}

CHA 3 {3}

Trade some more?
No. 945183 ID: 9876c4

Still want to swap a 1 for a facedown. Con probably.
Maybe we can get our 3 back. But that'd take some luck.
No. 945187 ID: b1b4f3

I think this set of cards is good, tbh.
No. 945238 ID: ce39da

He was quick to trade back our mystery cards before his, meaning he knows his last face-downs are at least decent enough to not bank on ours being higher. Keeping 6's is great, but keeping 1's off our board is also important. Trade the 1 on CON for another of his mystery cards.

... Is what I would have said if I didn't suspect he himself was bluffing. Dealing is his job; muttering under his breath and expositing his reasoning seems sloppy. Too sloppy. Fold the round; even a small gain will have us losing on the trade if he swaps out our DEX 6. Under no circumstances should we give him a chance to take a shot at our DEX.
No. 945248 ID: e7c7d3
File 156875240139.png - (371.23KB , 1024x768 , elccg6.png )

>I think this set of cards is good, tbh.
>Fold the round

"Hmm, you know what, I think I'm done trading for now." I tell the knight. Honestly, I'm not too sure what counts as good numbers during this phase, but I've got a good feeling that I'm doing okay. Plus, I think I'll have a better idea how things are going with all the cards down.

"Really? Very well then." The knight once more deals cards out to their appropriate places. Board's getting a bit busy. "You can peek at the cards you've received again. Not all the face-downs on your side, mind you. You can't see any cards that were originally mine, (which is just the one, admittedly,) and I cannot see any of the cards that were originally yours."
They lift their cards just enough to see what they are while I look at my new cards.
STR received a 2. CON received a 1. DEX received a 5. INT received a 1. WIS received a 4. CHA received a 4.

Luck seems to be following suit with what I have, interestingly enough. But these two 1's... Are they going to be a problem or are they ammunition?


{?} {?} {?} 4 {3} 4 {?} {1} {?}


STR 5 1 {2}

CON 1 6 {1}

DEX 6 {5} {5}

INT {4} {?} {1}

WIS 2 {5} {4}

CHA 3 {3} {4}

"I was hoping to find out more about some of your other cards." The dealer states. "But you are in control. In that same vein, some people are happy with what they are dealt and end this phase immediately. That is also something you can do. Or you can trade to hope for better numbers. It's up to you."

Any trades?

Just a note, you can specify which face-down you want to trade for. So if you are still wanting to trade a 1 for the face-down 3, you can do that.
No. 945249 ID: 9876c4

4 1s is way too many. We need 2 max.

Trade the facedown 1 in CON for the last facedown card.
No. 945250 ID: 9876c4

Rather, trade the face up 1. A facedown card will retain it's value better.
No. 945275 ID: b29102

No. 945342 ID: ce39da

Swapping a face-up 1 is just asking to get it thrown back in our faces somewhere it'll hurt more. Trade the face-down 1 in CON instead. (I'd prefer that INT gets swapped instead since doing this on something that already has a face-up 1 is really suspicious, but the vote needs to be singular to win out, so *shrug*.)

If he gets suspicious: "Why would I tell you why I made the trade?" Let him assume the possibility of bluffing; stating it ourselves would only confirm that that's what we want him to think, therefore it isn't one. "By the way, how's the winner determined? If the total cards are counted, it seems mighty unfair to you, but then it's unfair to me if groups are counted individually... Unless there's a partition between your own card groups I'm not seeing? I know we're not playing for stakes, but I'm curious!"
No. 945345 ID: 9876c4

Half of the challenge is not revealing our low cards. If we trade one away, that advantage is gone.

Let him trade for it and think he's getting a deal.
No. 945364 ID: e7c7d3
File 156884795352.png - (395.03KB , 1024x768 , elccg7.png )

"Alright, Starting trade." I declare enthusiastically. "I think I've had this 1 for long enough, let's trade it for one of your cards."
I trade my CON 1 for dealer's end face-down.

"Oh joy, a one." They mumble.
"By the way, how do payouts work with this game? We seem rather asymmetrical for proper comparisons."
"Ah yes, it is rather non-intuitive." They put on a rather instructive voice. "In essence, the amount of chips you bet sets a ratio that my total is converted into, after which is then makes for a bar that each of your chip's totals are trying to surpass in order to win. The ratios can be a bit... convoluted. The winning conditions were kind of made decided on after the game was designed."

"Anyways, my trade!" They continue. "Now either of us has done anything with DEX, WIS, or CHA. Now is it because you're comfortable with your face-downs, or we simply just haven't gotten to them? Well, let's see how much you trust in them when an unknown is thrown in."
Dealer trades their {?} for my DEX 6.


{?} {?} {?} 4 {3} 4 6 {1} 1


STR 5 1 {2}

CON {?} 6 {1}

DEX {?} {5} {5}

INT {4} {?} {1}

WIS 2 {5} {4}

CHA 3 {3} {4}

More trades?
No. 945365 ID: b1b4f3

Let's trade facedown 1s for some unknown facedowns on the dealer's side. I'm pretty satisfied otherwise... maybe trade that facedown 2 for one of the dealer's 4s?
This would have to be over several rounds unfortunately.
No. 945366 ID: 9876c4

2 can play at this game.
Trade face down CON for the 6.

"I didn't want to do this, but-"
No. 945384 ID: a16fb3

Hey, just wanted to clarify that I meant ill or insult to your skills. I was not aware that ooc information was considered a fuax pas when interacting with mechanics as well as characters. in interest of full disclosure i am actually a bit disappointed that we won't get to play that meta-game but that may just be me being overly confrontational.

Best wishes Sal the Deferential
No. 945385 ID: ce39da

“Been thinking of swapping this out for a mystery card as soon as I saw it, anyhow. Thanks!” Swap the newer face-down 5 from DEX for that 6. Make him think it’s garbo. Acting smug without stopping to consider your words should sell it. Let yourself get taken aback if he calls you out on admitting that out loud.
No. 945417 ID: e7c7d3
File 156892835494.png - (373.97KB , 1024x768 , elccg8.png )

>“Been thinking of swapping this out for a mystery card as soon as I saw it, anyhow. Thanks!”

"Well, maybe this will answer your question." I say, relaxing in my seat. "I just hadn't gotten to trading that one yet. Round only just started!"
I trade my second DEX {5} for the dealer's 6.

Mmhmm, sending more garbage my way? Also proves why I try to avoid trading for face-up sixes. They don't last very long in one's hands!" The dealer gives a good-hearted chuckle. "Now that I've shaken up your DEX chip. Time to shake the other trees and see what falls out. You still haven't reclaimed this one card you gave me, so I can conclude that it is low value. I think I'll trade it for card you haven't touched at all."
Dealer trades their {3} for my WIS {5}.


{?} {?} {?} 4 {5} 4 {5} {1} 1


STR 5 1 {2}

CON {?} 6 {1}

DEX {?} {5} 6

INT {4} {?} {1}

WIS 2 {3} {4}

CHA 3 {3} {4}

Continue trading?

No worries, I didn't take it as hostilities. From what I've seen, not using OoC information is seen as good roleplaying etiquette. Particularly with the GM, since it can lead to contrived and frankly unfun situations. (Oh, you're going into the secret tunnels to avoid the orc horde? Well it just so happens that the horde discovered the tunnels as well and have sent a squad down there. Teehee, aren't I clever!) That said, I can understand your disappointment. The dealer cheating would've added extra punch to their moves, and them using OoC info wouldn't be as big of a sin as it would be in a TTRPG. However, I also like to be upfront about it and making sure everyone on board with it could've slowed momentum down even more than the rules dump did. There's also one other problem with cheating: I also control which actions are taken by the players. So not only could I have the dealer cheat, but have the players cheat for my by purposely choosing the actions help the dealer the most. (Would make choosing which suggestion to go with a lot easier though ;P)

So no offense taken, I just hope you can still have fun.

No. 945418 ID: 9876c4

Let's please trade a 1 for a 5.

Con would be my preference. Str acceptable too.
No. 945419 ID: 422cea

Assuming this is D&D rules, we have too many dump stats still. We need to reclaim a face down 5 for our Dex as well.

A dex score of 16 would be super preferable if not mandatory for the rogue life.
No. 945420 ID: 9876c4

My theory is he played us like we did him, and there's a decent card in our Dex. We'd be better off losing ones, I suspect.
No. 945421 ID: b1b4f3

Yeah don't worry about dex. Swap off the 1 in STR for an unknown card on his side.
No. 945479 ID: ce39da

Yeah, no, let the 5's stew, else he realizes they're good. Maybe take back the one he took himself, but don't touch the one we gave him; the ideal scenario is for him to give it back himself.

Hm... Face-up 1 in STR for an unknown.
No. 945493 ID: e7c7d3
File 156901573519.png - (396.73KB , 1024x768 , elccg9.png )

"I will offer a small reminder." The knight says. "You are free to move cards among your chips. Now full disclosure, this sort of move would be to my advantage, but if you're planning on ending the phase and need a certain chip to be higher, then that is a strategy at your command."
"Alright," I answer. "I'll try to keep that in mind. Until then, I'll be trading this 1 for one of your mystery cards."
I trade my STR 1 with the dealer's {?}.

"Hmm, I now have two 1's on my side. That's distressing." The dealer ponders a bit. "Looks like I'll have to do some damage control over figuring out what you have in CHA."
The dealer trades their {?} for my INT {?}.


1 {?} {?} 4 {5} 4 {5} {1} 1


STR 5 1 {2}

CON {?} 6 {1}

DEX {?} {5} 6

INT {4} {?} {1}

WIS 2 {3} {4}

CHA 3 {3} {4}

Alright, some more trades?
No. 945494 ID: 9876c4

The only way we get both 5s is to trade for one, then let him swap the other. Waiting it out will cost us too much.

To that effect, trade a face down (1) for a (5)
No. 945495 ID: ce39da

Gonna assume that 1 in STR is supposed to be a {?}.

If he's only doing damage control, that means the card he just took back was at least decent. "Hey, now you have me convinced it's good! No take-backsies though, so... How about this?" Trade our face-down 1 in INT for the card he just took.
No. 945498 ID: e7c7d3

Oops, you're right! I forgot to change it when I copy/pasted. It is indeed a {?}.
No. 945532 ID: e7c7d3
File 156910340216.png - (397.11KB , 1024x768 , elccg10.png )

"Damage control, eh?" I remark rather snidely. "Then let me help you with that."
I trade my {1} for the dealer's {5}.

"You're too kind." The knight joins in. The tone in their voice makes it clear that they're in on the joke. "But if you are give me one of your cards, then it is only polite to give one back. I think I've had this one for far too long."
The dealer trades their {1} for my STR 5.


1 {?} {?} 4 {5} 4 {1} 5 1


STR {1} {?} {2}

CON {?} 6 {1}

DEX {?} {5} 6

INT {4} {?} {5}

WIS 2 {3} {4}

CHA 3 {3} {4}

Any trades left?
No. 945534 ID: 9876c4

Facedown 2 or 1 for the 5.
"That's my 5, you can't have it".
No. 945537 ID: 422cea

I don't like the look of our strength...

I don't want our next life to have a case of muscular dystrophy. Trade the facedown 1 in it for the facedown 5.
No. 945539 ID: 9876c4

That's the one we're waiting on for him to trade in. When he does, we end.
No. 945602 ID: e7c7d3
File 156918887091.png - (389.54KB , 1024x768 , elccg11.png )

Hmm, what to do... I wouldn't mind trading my face-down 1 in STR to get that 5 back, but the dealer just made that trade. So no take-backsies. However, the face-down 2 is still low enough to give away.

"Hey now," I say. "That 5 has been with my STR since the beginning. I'm taking that back for nostalgia sake."
I trade my STR {2} for the dealer's 5.

"Alright, you just really don't like me having your face-ups, do you?" The dealer accuses me. "Unless it's a 1, of course. Haha! I do feel like my options are dwindling though. Still have to go with safe choices."
The dealer trades their {5} for my INT {?}.


1 {?} {?} 4 {1} 4 {?} {2} 1


STR {1} {?} 5

CON {?} 6 {1}

DEX {?} {5} 6

INT {4} {5} {5}

WIS 2 {3} {4}

CHA 3 {3} {4}

Trading anyone?

Error on that last update too. I had the {5} and {1} on the dealer's side switched around. You think that with the text, images, and a cheat sheet I could keep everything in order, but I guess not.
No. 945607 ID: b1b4f3

Haha, we're good. This is fine. SMART ROGUE incoming.
No. 945608 ID: 9876c4

Things are getting about as good as they can.

Trading a face down 1 for a 4 wouldn't be a terrible idea, but it would suggest that we're trading a card worse than 4. Which we usually are anyway.
If we can balance out that 3 point gain with a minor hit, we'll be good.
No. 945610 ID: 422cea

If that ? in our dex is a blowout, we're not a rogue, period.
No. 945666 ID: ce39da

Nah, even if it's bad, we'd only really be in trouble if our DEX was in the single digits. Unless you're scared it's literally a 1, I say fold. (It's likely we got all the face-down 1's on our side to begin with.)
No. 945678 ID: e7c7d3
File 156927868908.png - (196.64KB , 1024x768 , elccg12.png )


I think about ready to call game here. Got some good numbers on my side, but I still got some hesitation. Getting rid of another 1 is always a bonus, provided that the dealer takes an average card as well. There's also this {?} in my DEX that I'm not sure about.

Let's see here...
In STR I have at least 6, could be up to a 12.
In CON I have at least 7, could be up to a 13.
In DEX I have at least 11, could be up to 17. (But again, having my doubts there.)
In INT I have a solid 14.
In WIS I have an average 9.
And in CHA I have a functional 10.

So should I really end the game and move on to revealing the cards?


Is there a trade that I should do first.
No. 945679 ID: 9876c4

>In CON I have at least 7, could be up to a 13.
This seems like it could be, and should be improved.
No. 945681 ID: 422cea

Going by D&D rules, a 8 is an unskilled average and will only penalize us with a -1 to any and all skill checks.

Going below it is effectively deprecated. I'd want us to salvage our CON and STR but we're running out of clear options.
No. 945683 ID: b1b4f3

...we could swap a 4 out of Int to put in Str, to ensure an average roll there. It'd leave us open to the dealer, but he seems to be a bit behind anyway.
No. 945686 ID: ce39da

Fold it. We’re reaching the point where we’re more likely to lose on the trade. Remember that the unskilled average of 8 in CON is the absolute minimum result. Also, assuming the worst about every {?} on our side of the board is ridiculous. We’re sure to have at least one or two winners amongst the unknowns, and I’d count that as a win.
No. 945712 ID: 0efe8e

Yeah, I'm think we should fold, they might not be the best stats but they are good none the less.
No. 945723 ID: f9451a

I vote 'fold' as well, for reasons already stated by other anons
No. 945727 ID: 9876c4

Can't be a rogue without one last score!
No. 945732 ID: e7c7d3
File 156936672264.png - (385.23KB , 1024x768 , elccg13.png )

>Yeah, I'm think we should fold, they might not be the best stats but they are good none the less.
>but we're running out of clear options.
>I vote 'fold' as well

Alright. I think I'm going to call this. There are some tweaks I could do, but that would be at the risk of losing the 6's and gaining the 1's.

"I'm done trading." I tell the dealer.
"Really?" They reply. "You're happy with what you've got then?"
"No, but I don't think I'll get them better than I do without you messing one of my scores up" I say.
"Tsk, you're right about that." They answer. "My next move was going to just be a softball and trade a 1 for the CHA's open 3. But my move after that was going to be a 1 for a open 6 on the hunch that you would be ending it at that trade and not right now."

Hmm, so I would've had an 8 in CHA for a better CON. Might've been worth it, but I shouldn't dwell on on 'could have's.'

"well then," the knight exclaims. "Let's see what we have!"

Total = 31

STR 1 4 5 = 10
CON 3 6 1 = 10
DEX 1 5 6 = 12
INT 4 5 5 = 14
WIS 2 3 4 = 9
CHA 3 3 4 = 10

"Congrats!" Says the knight, as confetti falls from somewhere.
"Now that see the numbers, they're a bit lower than I has hoped." I say, trying not to lower the mood with my disappointment.
"It's a casino." The dealer retorts. "You're suppose to lose more than you'll win."
No. 945733 ID: e7c7d3
File 156936674943.png - (204.22KB , 1024x768 , elcccWHYAMIATTEMPTINGFORESHORTENING.png )

"Besides," The knight continues. "Don't take these numbers too seriously."
"Aren't they suppose to represent my abilities and skills though?" I ask.
"Well sure, But don't forget that you're still a person and not six scores." They reply. "It'd be like defining a vehicle by how many tires it has. Sure it'd give you a good idea what it can do and what it's limits are, but you'd also be ignoring the rest of the vehicle! Plus, in your case, You can change who you are. Think you could be smarter? Go study. Think you're too weak? Go workout. You've just determined what your abilities and skills are, and you can do it again."

The knight touches some buttons under the table which prompts a whirring noise. They then set about clearing the table of chips and cards as I hear some sort of printer continue to make noise. At the sound of a beep, the knight reaches down and then hands me a card.

"Here," they say. "A commemerative card of our game. Looks like only DEX and INT would have paid out, but you would've only lost money on WIS."

I accept the card. I'm not too sure how they determined that, but I guess it doesn't matter since no money was betted.

"Hope you had at least a bit of fun." The knight says. "Got any plans for the rest of your stay?"

I think there's only one shop left. Anything I should do on the way there?
No. 945734 ID: e7c7d3

Phew! minigame is done! So I'm probably going to go back to updating this quest once or twice a week again.

And don't stress too much about the results if you're unhappy with them. Whatever quest this character ends up in, it won't be based on D&D rules. It was more of a system that I figured most anons would understand.

No. 945736 ID: b1b4f3

Well, those are OK starting stats. The high INT means an easier time in school at least. Focus on training DEX up a few more points and it'll be just fine. (rogue with spells on the side?)
Also looks like we won the game overall? Two winning hands, one losing hand.
No. 945737 ID: 9876c4

That's disappointing, but well within the boundaries of gambling.

It'll be a strange feeling, going through life half-average.
No. 945742 ID: 0efe8e

I'm actually happy with those stats, they could have been a lot worse. I suppose now we should head on over to Plastic People.
No. 945743 ID: 422cea

We are unbelievably average with that score.

Spellsword rogue it is.
No. 945821 ID: fb64b5

So an all arounder, eh? Could have been a lot worse.
No. 945823 ID: 9876c4

Forgers, gemcutters and safecrackers are all smart rogues.
We're well equipped to do all that, less so the sneak in and steal route.
No. 945851 ID: ce39da

We could play at the mastermind type, too, though that might need Wisdom too, and that's our dump stat...

Be gracious to your dealer, and then it's hobby shop ahoy! Ooh, don't forget to ask about a souvenir!
No. 945958 ID: e7c7d3
File 156962440055.png - (357.17KB , 1024x768 , elcc25.png )

>It'll be a strange feeling, going through life half-average.
>We are unbelievably average with that score.
>So an all arounder, eh?

I thank the dealer for the game and their time. They do a slight bow and wishes me well as I exit the casino. Leaving the building, I look over my scores again. Except for INT, nothing really stands out. Even my so called dump-stat is a middling nine. I guess I won't live an spectacular life. Probably won't even be notably terrible life. Not unless I choose to ruin myself with addictive substances or getting in debt with the wrong people.

In hindsight, it seems like the game would lean towards average scores. With the dealer trying to keep my numbers down and myself trying to get the best numbers, it'll just move towards the average. Not unless I purposely screw over one of my scores to boost another. I might've gotten more interesting results from the slots. But then again, the slots are purposely non-interactive and uninteresting. Designed more to mesmerize than be fun. So I guess I got to enjoy the game, but it also probably gone through a bit more play-testing.

> Ooh, don't forget to ask about a souvenir!

Still, I got to keep my score card. Can show that I'm a winner to anyone who's interested.
No. 945959 ID: e7c7d3
File 156962445059.png - (304.22KB , 1024x768 , elcc26.png )

I make my way to the hobby shop: Plastic Peoples. On the way there, I give the card-playing man a greeting and he just sort of grunts an acknowledgement.

The doors to the shop slide open as I approach and I hear what sounds like a cartoon or movie being played in the background. It's hard to make out the erratic dialogue from the overdone sound effects, but the occasional "Dark wizard" and "Pure of Heart" seems to put whatever's playing into the fantasy genre.

I am also greeted by what appears to be a crustacean of some sort.

"Well, hi there!" They greet me enthusiastically. "Welcome to my little corner of reality. Feel free to call me Terry. That's short for Terrible Scourge of the 8th Fractal Mindscape, but pretty much nobody bothers with the full name."
"Terrible, eh?" I say, nonplussed by his appearance. "Is that terrible as in 'invokes terror,' or terrible as in 'bad.' Aaaand now that I've said that out loud I realize just how insulting that question is. Sorry!"
"Hey, no worries!" He reassures me. "It's suppose to be the former but just ended up being the latter. It's one of the reasons I asked to be transferred here. That, and now no one gets surprised when I talk about my hobbies."
"I see, I see." I remark as I look about the store. "So what exactly happens here? I mean, I'm guessing this is where I choose what sort of creature I'll be in the next life?"
"I take it I'm not the first of the shops that you've visited." I give him a nod. "Yeah, this is where you choose your appearance by selecting or making a model. We've got all sorts of models and figurines here. From all sorts of franchises too! or at least the knock off version of said franchises. So if you had something already in mind, you can just take it off the shelf and we'll send you on home. Keep in mind that it's just a single model. Can't exactly afford to give away a box of troops or a battalion set.

"We also have the option of making something from the ground up. The previous owner used to mold stuff out of clay, but I was able to get myself a 3D printer back here. Much easier for me to manage with my claws.

"So what'll it be?" He asks.
No. 945961 ID: 9876c4
File 156962580359.png - (415.42KB , 725x1144 , Roguelike.png )

A fancy lad who looks at home drinking tequilla or playing cards, with a bit of a roguish flair?

Not too handsome or too bulky. Maybe something like this? Except we don't know where we're going, so the tech level is guesswork.
No. 945962 ID: 422cea

How about a mammalian kobold?

Not certain if the canine kind from old D&D/Japanese D&D, the rabbit/kangaroo kind I've seen lately, or the dwarf fortress variety.
No. 945965 ID: 094652

No. 945967 ID: b1b4f3

So I guess if someone gets reincarnated from an unpopular species, they don't think it's so bad when it comes time to pick one? Gotta repopulate the downtrodden somehow. Must be some reason why not everyone picks dragon or something similarly overpowered.
Jokingly make something that looks exactly like how you are right now. Or just straight up ask what if you want to look like the way you are right now.

But for real, how about... some kinda Spiderfolk?
No. 945971 ID: ce39da

I agree with this. Cute, but not conventionally attractive. Sharp senses and mind, but not known for thinking about the long-term or having strong wills. Short, but not weak in any sense, per se. Slightly above average DEX fits too. I’m leaning more towards the lagomorphic model, but lets get a 40k-equivalent version; sunglasses don’t fit fantasy, let’s make it sci-fi.
No. 945973 ID: 58b4f3

Go for a Fen Quest style reptilian kobold. Make him a little overweight, but he still has a decent amount of muscles on him.

Going for a "kinda out of shape, but can still kick your ass" look.
No. 945976 ID: 9876c4

I'd rather not have a STR of 6, thanks.
No. 945979 ID: 5b7271

Praying Mantis! I want to be a giant Praying Mantis!
No. 945980 ID: 0efe8e

This please.
No. 945982 ID: 76349d

I would also second spiderfolk/other insectoid races.
No. 945984 ID: 422cea
File 156966825510.png - (111.60KB , 400x415 , tumblr_p2w5bpCDOF1u1kir0o1_400.png )

I'm all for anthro insectoid, preferably one without the enormous abdomen. Extra pair of arms is optional.
No. 945986 ID: 0fae41

Some abdomen is okay, just make sure it fits through doors.
No. 945987 ID: 8d4593

Can we just take a moment to admire those wonderful -not for sale- figures?
No. 945990 ID: 91ee5f

>choose your appearance by selecting or making a model. We've got all sorts of models and figurines here.
>Polo, Ceridwen, and Deem in display case
Let’s choose one of-

>Not for sale
Aww, never mind.

>Make a choice
I’m not sure. I’m thinking either this: >>945973 , or this: >>945982 .

What are you talking about? Our STR is 10.
No. 945992 ID: 18e3d4

+1 to Spiderfolk, but with the abdomen.
No. 945994 ID: 7ebbf9

Be the bug you've always dreamed to be.
No. 945995 ID: a9af05

>suggestions of spiderfolk
What kind of spiderfolk are we talking about here?

Is it an anthropomorphic spider, with 2 arms and 2 legs? Or will it be 6 arms and 2 legs?

Or would it be a more centaur like body with a big spider body that has 8 legs and a torso from the waist up?
No. 946001 ID: 9876c4

Maybe a spidery looking human, like Willem Dafoe.
No. 946013 ID: b1b4f3

I was thinking anthropomorphic.
No. 946027 ID: a9af05

You know what? If we go with the centaur like body for a spiderfolk, then could we make it look like Lavender from SpookQuest? I'd fully support that!
No. 946035 ID: 422cea

I want my bug to wear pants. I want ants in pants.
No. 946042 ID: 76349d

I'm fine with it being anthropomorphic, but the body should still be more spindly than a regular human.
No. 946063 ID: 74967b

No. 946136 ID: e7c7d3
File 156988088153.png - (514.44KB , 1024x768 , elcc27.png )

>So I guess if someone gets reincarnated from an unpopular species, they don't think it's so bad when it comes time to pick one? Gotta repopulate the downtrodden somehow.

I start to browse the aisles. Terry wasn't kidding when he said that they carry all sorts of models. Some are big, some are small, some are strong, and some are weak. This suddenly pops a question into my mind.
"Hey, Terry." I say. "Why would someone choose a weak and pathetic to be? I mean, I understand that what's weak and pathetic differs from individual, but surely more people choose the stronger beings than the weaker ones over all. Is there a system of balance that I'm not aware of?"
Terry strokes his... tendrils? Mandibles? Long sticky-outy things a bit before answering. "I guess you could say that there's a balance system in place, technically speaking. That is to say, there are systems about balance, karma, and such. keep in mind that not all souls get reincarnated as you are. Different religions, different worlds, different systems. Everybody gets processed just a little bit differently."
"I guess that works." I relent, going back to browsing.
"Anything you're looking for?" Terry asks. "I've got a good idea of my stocks to help quicken the search."
"Sure," I answer. I've got a couple of ideas. Let's see if you can match my imagination."
"alright," Terry chuckles a bit. "But keep in mind it's not just me but the artist's interpretation of your imagination. The artists of the models, I mean."

>How about a mammalian kobold?
>I agree with this.

"This might work." Says Terry, as he pulls a box from a shelf over my head. "Ah, Battle Sun 10K, that's a fun one. It's about all these different factions fighting over this one solar system when suddenly all their warp engines get knocked out. So now all the factions have to not just survive, but also gather resources unique to each planet in order to rebuild their warp engines and-" Terry coughs and stops himself. "Anyways, they have some mammalian kobolds. A long snouted head with rabbit-like ears, a kobold's stature and a thick lizard-like tail covered in fuzz. I'll hang onto this box while we gander at some others."

>reptilian kobold. Make him a little overweight, but he still has a decent amount of muscles on him.
>This please.

"Ah, hmm." Terry stammers a bit. "Fat and muscly doesn't quite mesh with the usual kobold ascetic, but..." Terry darts to the back wall for a second before grabbing a box and returning. "Here, the Dinomite Desperado. The Heros Series was always iffy on what exactly a hero was. Still, a reptilian kobold, might have a bit of pudge on him, but that might just be baggy clothes. Hard to tell on some of these models."

>I'm all for anthro insectoid
>Be the bug you've always dreamed to be.

"An insect, eh?" Terry does a quick spin around before grabbing another box from the shelf. "Hows this? A four-armed bug. Seems to be a mix of an ant and a wasp, with the wings being optional. Might have a stinger on them, but this series didn't have a game to go along with it so I can't say if that is an ability it possesses or not. I'm also not sure why they went with a purple colour scheme, but that is not something you'd be beholden to if you'd want something else."

>But for real, how about... some kinda Spiderfolk?
>+1 to Spiderfolk, but with the abdomen.
>I would also second spiderfolk/other insectoid races.

"A spiderfolk..." Terry muses. "Got some options there, but how about we go Battle Sun again? A sturdy spider, with most of it's limbs hidden under it's cloak to be sneaky. It's implied, if not shown, that it does indeed have three pairs of arms. I do have other models if you were hoping for something more centaur like. Or even something more anthropomorphized and not possessing all eight spider limbs, if that's more to your taste."

"I would also like to really, really stress that you are not determining what tech level you'll be ending up in at this time. This was more of me trying to find variations of rogue in different settings. Just what creature for now and we can switch stuff around if you want. Although you'll have to give me a couple of minutes to do that."

"Still, any of these capture what you want?"
No. 946137 ID: 422cea

I like the mammal kobold and spider options.

Just wish the spider had those more expressive eyes like on a jumping spider.
No. 946138 ID: 11f77a

I like the spider rogue and his costume!
No. 946143 ID: 9876c4

The mainframe hacker is the least objectionable option.

I'm very antibug.
No. 946145 ID: 8d4593

HE NEARLY BROKE THE ILLUSION! I say we Smite Terry just a little bit. Make his two longest antennae fall off.

Then have our hero ask for them to be affixed to whatever figure he chooses.

Yes I know they will be huge. It'll be great.
No. 946151 ID: 0fae41

Viva la resistance!
I'm very pro bug.
No. 946156 ID: 18e3d4

No. 946158 ID: b1b4f3

That ant/wasp guy looks good.
I'd be interested in a cuter type of spider.
No. 946165 ID: 91ee5f

>I do have other models if you were hoping for something more centaur like.
The correct term you guys are looking for is “drider”, which is what I’d want if we’re choosing spider.

>I'd be interested in a cuter type of spider.
This would be nice.
No. 946166 ID: 4f51b2

The reptilian kobold looks cool.
No. 946177 ID: c3c153

The Dinomite Desperado
No. 946191 ID: 9aaeef

The lizard boi.
No. 946198 ID: a9af05

Just looked up what that is and yes, that's what I was talking about. I'm voting for this!

As long as our upper half still looks like a spider. I don't want it to have a human look to it.
No. 946202 ID: ce39da

Voting for the mammalian kobold here. It seems we're not just picking our species, but also everything else about the circumstances of our new (old?) life; setting, etc.
No. 946203 ID: a9af05

No we're not.

Terry just now told us that we are NOT determining what tech level we'll be ending up in. Right now we are only choosing what our race is.
No. 946213 ID: ce39da

Oh, whoops, I just reread it now. How did I miss the stuff at the bottom after the options? Standing by my vote, though.
No. 946230 ID: 58b4f3

Reptilian kobold!
No. 946241 ID: 12ef8b

No. 946343 ID: ce08b1

Mammalian Kobold.
No. 946390 ID: e7c7d3
File 157015427754.png - (351.81KB , 1024x768 , elcc28.png )

>Mammalian kobold: IIII
>Reptilian kobold: IIII
>Resistance bug: II
>Spiderfolk: IIII

"Hmm, I'm sort of torn on my choices here." I say to Terry. "Mostly between the Desperado and the Reaver. Although I wouldn't be against the Hacker. But on the other hand... Hmmm..."
"Oh dear," remarks Terry. "Indecision is never fun. Anything I can do to help?"
"Maybe," I muse. "Maybe if we change the spiderfolk a bit. You mentioned that you can make some changes?"

With a silent nod, Terry moves behind the counter and boots up a computer. It takes a minute or so, with the occasional blip, before Terry is able to open up a program. He opens up a few files and starts editing them.

>Just wish the spider had those more expressive eyes like on a jumping spider.
>The correct term you guys are looking for is “drider”, which is what I’d want if we’re choosing spider.
>As long as our upper half still looks like a spider. I don't want it to have a human look to it

"Alright," He starts. "I think I'll take the legs from this Terror Planet model and stick on the body of the Reactor Reaver. Change some arms around. Some quick colour textures. Deal with these errant polygons. And alright! Not polished, but I think I have something workable."

Terry turns the monitor towards me. There is a grinding of plastic not used to moving. On the screen is a new spider model. maybe it's what I'm looking for?

You've got the Reptilian Kobold
The Bipedal Spiderfolk
And the Sexapedal Spiderfolk.

Does that help you decide?"
No. 946391 ID: ce39da

My vote's still on a kobold, even if it can't be mammalian.
No. 946394 ID: 91ee5f

“Did you just say that Spiderfolk is sexable? Because he does look pretty sexable!”

Once you’re done making that terrible joke, tell him that you want to choose the Sexapedal Spiderfolk.
No. 946397 ID: 996392

I vote the sexab- I mean the sexapedal spiderfolk
No. 946399 ID: 0fae41

Bipedal spider is just fine.
No. 946405 ID: 3d6b62

Sexapedal spiderfolk please, gotta get some good ol arachnid goodness.
No. 946407 ID: 4f51b2

Reptilian Kobold
No. 946409 ID: c3c153

No. 946411 ID: 9876c4

Let's just be Willem Dafoe
No. 946412 ID: 0efe8e

The spider is growing on me, gotta vote for the sexapedal.
No. 946437 ID: 9aaeef

The Reptilian Kobold
No. 946438 ID: 422cea

Spider, because I swear to gog if I see another kobold...
No. 946441 ID: 8d4593

Spider, Sexapedal.

We got enough Kobolds and Cutebolds.
No. 946454 ID: a9af05

Sexapedal Spiderfolk
No. 946480 ID: 7dca0e

Kobold 4 ever.
No. 946484 ID: 2b3343

Sexapedal Spiderfolk
No. 946506 ID: 12ef8b

No. 946534 ID: 4f51b2

The rep kobold
No. 946544 ID: 422cea

Sexapedal spooder.
No. 946571 ID: c3c153

I like spiders and kobolds but I like kobolds more. Kobold.
No. 946573 ID: e7c7d3
File 157030901745.png - (270.53KB , 1024x768 , elcc29.png )

>Bipedal Spidergolk: I
>Reptilian Kobold: IIII II
>Sexapedal Spiderfolk: IIII III

Man, I am still very


Very split on what to become. I think I just need to stop thinking on things and make a decision. Just flip a coin in my head. Just jump right into it. One two three decide!

..But what about...

No! Decision time!

"Alright Terry, I think I'll go with that leggy spider you whipped up." I say, on a spontaneous whim.
"Sounds good!" Terry responds. "Just need to hit this button here and the printer will do the rest!"
A whirring and a low humming starts up in the back room, as the 3D printer starts building up my new model. Besides the machine, a silence falls upon the two of us.



"Say, Terry," I break the silence.
"Hmm?" He answers.
"Something just occurred to me." I continue. " You pointed out that we wouldn't be choosing tech level here, just what creature I'd be."
"That's right." He says. "I hope that's not causing confusing."
"Not really," I remark. "But then where do I decide what sort of world I'll go to? there are no other shops?"

Terry just looks at me for a pause.

"Oh hey!" He exclaims. "I think your model is done!"
Terry then shuffles into the back room, quite obviously avoiding my question.
"Here we go!" Terry says as he presents the small, grey model to me. "The molding needs to be cleaned up some more and it's clearly not painted, but I can do all of the hobby for you. Haha!"
I accept the model. It is pretty spiffy. Still, I look at Terry expectantly.
"Ah, hmm," Terry then moves towards the door and holds it open for me. "Any further questions you have should probably directed at Mort. He's in charge here."
No. 946574 ID: e7c7d3
File 157030905002.png - (316.12KB , 1024x768 , elcc30.png )

I take the hint and exit the hobby shop. The plaza is noticeably darker than it was before.

Oh hey though, Mort is standing outside the accounting office. It's lights turned off and he appears to be holding a manila envelope.
No. 946578 ID: b1b4f3

Oh I missed the vote. I would've voted for sexpedal too.

Tell him you're all done with the shops. What's he got there?
No. 946580 ID: dbfc9b

Well now, looks like we're coming to the end of our time here. Let's look and see what this all is coming too.
Head over and see Mort.
No. 946584 ID: 9876c4

Missing: 1 vote for Willem Dafoe or a reasonable facsimile.
No. 946606 ID: a9af05

Looks like he's finished going through all of your past lives and has probably determined where to send you. That might be what's in the envelope.

Let's go over to him to find out.
No. 946669 ID: 76349d

Hooray for a weird species choice!
No. 946875 ID: e7c7d3
File 157073769920.png - (247.71KB , 1024x768 , elcc31.png )

>Head over and see Mort

I start moving towards Mort, as it seems like the obvious choice.

"Hey Mort!" I holler at him. He gives a lazy wave back. "Finished go through all my past lives?"
"Indeed I have." He answers. "You definitely have a history of being a trouble maker, so those shades seem appropriate."
"Oh yeah..." I say subdued. "The whole free-will and patterns thing. I guess I didn't buck the trend then, eh?"
Mort quirks an eyebrow at me. "Not going to ask who told you that, I think I know who it was, but I wouldn't take their words to heart. Yes, you have a pattern, a history, a tendency, but do you remember any of that? No. What you choice right now was dictated by you and you alone. No pattern or history affected your decisions, that's why we don't give you your memories."
"Huh," I respond. "Yeah, the other person made it sound like these were all false choices."
"If they were false choices then we wouldn't even bother with all this theatre." He says.
No. 946876 ID: e7c7d3
File 157073772764.png - (250.07KB , 1024x768 , elcc32.png )

"Now, speaking of choices and history, it's time we moved on." He continues. "Or rather, time for you to move on. Here's your file. Just take it to the Gate-Keeper and they'll take you to were you need to be."
Mort points behind me, And I see the card playing man move into position beside a large, iron gate.
"That doesn't seem to be a very effective gate." I mutter to myself.
"It's symbolic," Mort retorts.

With no real response to that, I move on towards the gate and the card playing man.
No. 946877 ID: e7c7d3
File 157073777865.png - (278.40KB , 1024x768 , elcc33.png )

I approach the supposed Gate-Keeper.

"I thought you said your job was to do nothing." I accuse him.
"It was to do nothing." He says. "Until you and Mort were done doing your respective tasks. Now, I keep this gate and send people to their appropriate world. May I?" He holds out his hand for the file. I dutifully hand it to him. I mean, what else was I going to do with it?
"Now let's see here..." He start mumbling to himself. "In accordance to the power as granted by yadda yadda yadda... As per the conduct and in respect to blah blah blah! Here's something:

subject has decided the following:



-STR = 10
-CON = 10
-DEX = 12
-INT = 14
-WIS = 9
-CHA = 10

Every thing seems to be in order, now to find the thing that actually matters to me. 'Instructions for employees.'

Hmm hmm hmm...

Ah! There we go! We're sending you to reality 37Delta-Delta. That's good, relatively simple to get to from here if a bit long. Now to just get past the gate."

"I'm guessing it's not as simple as just going around it." I say, after waiting patiently for him to go over my life in paper form.
"Indeed not." He states. "That'll only get you lost in the void. So it's either through the gate or literally nothing. Of course, the gate is locked."
"You don't have a key?" I ask. "I'd have figured the Gate-Keeper would have a key to the gate that they're minding."
"Nah, you see it's a fancy, magical lock. Speak the right words and it'll unlock itself. Problem is, I don't know the word to unlock it."
"You don't?" I look at him quizzically. "Do we have to ask Mort?" I turn around to get Mort's attention, but he and his office are already gone.
"Nope, because he doesn't know it either." The Gate-Keeper continues. "However, you do."

Wait, what?

"Wait, what?" I stutter at him.
"You see, it's not so much a magical word that opens this lock, but a name." he explains. "Specifically, your name. So now I have to ask:
No. 946878 ID: e7c7d3
File 157073779989.png - (201.93KB , 1024x768 , elcc34.png )

"What is your name?"
No. 946881 ID: b1b4f3

>second drink was pronouns
In hindsight that's fairly obvious. It works similarly in the end, since your choice in clothing/makeup is based on the gender you identify with.

No. 946882 ID: 094652

Jon'ne Ja'kk'b Jn'gl Heimer-Schmidt
No. 946883 ID: 11f77a

Darth Kras Corsyx, Darth is just a popular first name for your kind.
No. 946886 ID: 0fae41

Angela Webb.
No. 946889 ID: a9af05

Raise your hand to stroke your chin in thought, then suddenly notice that you're already in your new body. That was quick, wasn't it?

This is a good name.
No. 946891 ID: 422cea

Aktarus Rathym
No. 946895 ID: 91ee5f

I’m voting for this name: >>946881 .

Also, ask how this is supposed to work? Since this is your new life, are you going to start as a baby and grow up from there? Or are you just going to suddenly poof into existence as an adult somewhere in the reality you’re being sent to?

And I’m assuming you’re also going to lose your memories of this place once you leave, right?
No. 946900 ID: a8c63e

Big Smoke
No. 946907 ID: ce39da

"Before I answer... What's 37-Delta-Delta like?"
"My name is Aktarus Kaia Rathym, and I'd appreciate some clothes now that I'm suddenly not a skelebones anymore."
No. 946990 ID: a9af05

No offense or anything, bit didn't Terry say he would color our body for us? So why don't we have any colors?
No. 947003 ID: ce39da

We have colors, just not very bright ones.
No. 947044 ID: 76349d

Aktarus feels too rough to me. What about just Akarus?
No. 947049 ID: a9af05

I see it now. I thought we were still fresh off the 3d printer with no color.
No. 947569 ID: a16fb3

Aktarus. no last or middle name.
No. 947620 ID: e7c7d3
File 157178182778.png - (189.66KB , 1024x768 , elcc35.png )

I take a moment to think. Do I know my name?

Really, I didn't know anything about myself, but I guess I figured it out eventually. Even when I didn't really know what was going on, I had always went with what I felt was right.

The pirate costume? No idea what that was about at the time. I was just having fun. Ended up with some glasses that became my style. Something that made me, well... me.

At the bar, I had an idea what was going on. Made decisions based on what I thought the results would get me. Still, they were choices that would get me to what I wanted to be.

The card game was a bit weird. Got too involved in the game, making choices to win the game and not to define me. And yet... That in its self defines who I am.

I think the hobby shop was most telling. Took a lot of deliberation. That was when I was really thinking about who I was and that made for a tough choice. But I do think I ended up with what I want to be.

So who am I? What's my name? I think I know.
No. 947621 ID: e7c7d3
File 157178186626.png - (290.97KB , 1024x768 , elcc36.png )

I approach the lock. It's a solid looking thing. Like a rock with fancy carvings on it. The sort of thing that you might find at a ren fair, made by someone who doesn't know how to run a business so it's over-priced but also still kind of cool.

And I simply tell it my name.


With pops and fizzles, glowing cracks form on the lock, growing in number and intensity. With a held breath, they stop, and the lock unceremoniously falls off and dissolves into the floor of the void.

I guess I chose the right name then, huh?
No. 947622 ID: e7c7d3
File 157178189436.png - (255.83KB , 1024x768 , elcc37.png )

The gate-keeper moves forward and opens the gate. He holds it open while motioning me forward.

"Well, shall we be off? Don't want to be late to your life now." He says.
"Is it actually possible to be late?" I ask while moving onto the lit path.
"Nah," He responds. "I just think it's a fun thing to say."
"Fair enough," I answer. "By the way what's 37Delta-Delta like?"
"Oh man," He says. "I don't know which part you'll end up in, but there's these two barrel galaxies that just started colliding together and they are just make some beautiful patterns with their star trails."
"Hopefully I get to see it." I respond. "Do I get a choice about where I end up?"
"Hmm, sort of." he answer vaguely, as we continue on our way.
"-- -- ---- ---- - --- ---- --"
"--- -- ---?"

No. 947623 ID: e7c7d3
File 157178192532.png - (194.73KB , 1024x768 , elcc38.png )

The We march ever forward, as our conversation dissipates into the nothing around us. Onward to my new life.

Here's to me, I guess. Thanks for helping!

The End


A Beginning

No. 947635 ID: 91ee5f

Well, that didn’t answer any of my questions, but I guess we’ll find out whenever Aktarus shows up in his own quest.

>Thanks for helping!
No problem! Looking forward to seeing your adventures!
No. 947678 ID: 76349d

this was a very cool concept for a quest
No. 947684 ID: 9876c4

I liked it until our bipedal skeleton-dude fell victim to the xenomorphists in the comments.

It was a good concept, though.
No. 947686 ID: 7ebbf9

Live it up a little, Aktarus!
No. 947812 ID: e7c7d3


Thanks! Involved and obtuse character creation is something that I love in my RPGs and this quest was an homage to them.


Yeah... I purposely didn't answer your questions primarily because I don't know myself. It's also for the same reason I tried to avoid anything about the character's potential setting. It's going to be a bit of a challenge for myself to come up with a story for little Aktarus, and I didn't want to challenge myself further by limiting what setting he should appear in.


I kind of agree with you. While I'm a xenophile myself, I had a whoooole lot of trouble coming up with a spider design that I liked. The design that was on the model box was like my 6th attempt at making a decent looking spider, making the winning design my 7th try. Spider designs are just out of my skill range for now.


Hopefully not too far into the future!
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