Maria 2009/12/13(Sun)15:18 No. 91172 ID: 754774
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"I don't understand why she is pouting! She has the powers of the moooooon goddess!"

>>91172
You okay, Maria? Do you want a soda?

She must not be ready to accept her new moon laser powers. Go console her, Tom.

PRINCESS BEAM.

Also, moon goddess? Totally unexpected. I would have expected sun with the shape of your birthmark and all.

Maria 2009/12/13(Sun)15:23 No. 91182 ID: 754774
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>>91172
"No, she has the power of being concieved through a crystal often used as a common but dominantly female-bearing reproduction device that causes a series of frightening and often life-threatening skin-conditions."
"Those crystals are the creation of the Moon Goddess!"
"I think it's just you being insane and giving a reproduction device used by demons to a human. Crystal-born demons do not glow when their blood hits draining point."
"Moon Goddess!"
"She's probably going to hate you forever."

Don't be silly. She's a moon goddess!

I don't even know what's going on. But Princess Flash seems like it could be helpful.

>>91182
Is Tom okay? He's not looking so hot.

Maria 2009/12/13(Sun)15:34 No. 91196 ID: 754774
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>>91187
Shut up. Father is mad.

>>91189
I don't know. I can't see him.

"Well I'd suggest finding a way to clear up the patches in the very least, before she runs away to be a hermit or someth--OW DAMN OW can't feel my arm aaahhh that is never pleasant."

>>91196
Maria, here is the plan.

Run away with Tom to become a hermit or something.

>>91196
You must research on this crystal thing. Maybe your father still has it.

Maria 2009/12/13(Sun)15:38 No. 91199 ID: 754774
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>>91197
You have horrible ideas.

I wouldn't mind going to live with my brothers though. They wouldn't pretend I had magical powers and force me to get married.

>>91199
Go find the crystal thing. Maybe you can find a way to reverse the effects.

But you do have Moon Powers!

Believe in us, who believe in you, Maria!


Also:
>Implying you don't have moon powers.

>>91199
We're not forcing you to marry anyone, and we're not pretending you have magical powers. We are telling you to learn magical powers, and run away instead of marrying anyone.

Right. No Magical Powers or anything. This "Princess Flash" and "Magical powers" bit is just a polite way of saying that your face can become so ugly it physically hurts people.

Maria 2009/12/13(Sun)15:58 No. 91223 ID: 754774
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>>91201
Everyone else has stupid ideas.

"Father, I wish to rid myself of this cursed skin! I will leave and not return until I am no different from any other girl."

Bring Tom. And Hadrian, I guess.

>>91223
Get out of there before tom starts to disappear

I think you're hurting tom.

Er, is Tom okay there?

Maria 2009/12/13(Sun)16:19 No. 91241 ID: 754774
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>>91225
I am not sure at all where I'm going, but I still feel very pleased that I shall rid myself of this curse.
>>91228
>>91238
>>91240
Tom is fine.

>>91241
Ask tom what he knows about the crystal.

>>91241
Ask Tom why Hadrian came too.

>>91253
He could slow down bears.

[By being eaten]

Maria 2009/12/13(Sun)16:50 No. 91262 ID: 754774
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>>91251
"The crystals? Well, with humans, intercourse is the transferal of seed to fertilize eggs, not unlike animals or flowers. With demons, RedEyes anyways, it's more to fertilize the body so the female can become pregnant through either secondary intercourse with a seed-bearing humanoid or to use these sort of living crystals. They cause the egg to grow on it's own, and without male seed, it's almost impossible to bear anything but a female when using it."
"So that was why father gave mother one."
"Yes. I don't think anyone told him about the staggering list of birth defects that crystals cause. The Blood Rush is usually harmless, but blood clotting is a common problem. It also stings like a bastard when it hits draining point."

>>91253
"You asked him to."
Oh. Right.

So I don't have leads! I can't go anywhere without a direction.

Here's a map of the country. It's not very big.

>>91262
Let us go see Vandis. He seem knowledgeable.

>>91266
This. We never met all of your brothers anyway.
And Wal... er, I mean, I have a sneaking suspicion someone important to you is in that general area.

Maria 2009/12/13(Sun)17:17 No. 91279 ID: 754774
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>>91266
>>91269
"We shall set off for the home of my brothers!"
"Home of your what?"

...I've forgotten Hadrian is unaware of the situation.

Maria 2009/12/13(Sun)17:19 No. 91281 ID: 754774
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>>91279
The three set off with haste, Maria eager to leave her home and mentally unwell parents behind.

Maria 2009/12/13(Sun)17:20 No. 91286 ID: 754774
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>>91281
The woods are just as still as they were on their previous visit.

"If you see a man with a red ponytail, it's best not to try and reason with him," Maria points out.

>>91286
Yell to the forest that you have returned!

>>91286
Keep an eye out for that yellow-eyed demon you and Tom saw when you were leaving here last time.
If you see it, follow it.

Fire off a princess beam like a flare.

No, just yell.

Maria 2009/12/17(Thu)17:49 No. 93621 ID: 754774
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>>91293
>>91324
.........

"Hello?" Maria calls out. There is no response.
Somehow, despite not being in an area that would be able to bounce off sound waves properly, it echoes.

Maria is disturbed by this.

>>93621
You must take advantage of this! Yodel!

Caress horse.

Kiss horse.

>>93621
Obviously someone is faking an echo. Say silly things to get them to crack up or make a mistake.

Maria 2009/12/17(Thu)18:13 No. 93642 ID: 754774
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>>93632
I am positive it is my own voice! Besides, even if I wasn't sure, I don't want to embarrass myself in front of the others if I'm wrong.

"Is it just me, or is this forest darker the second time around?" Tom observes.

Mr. Highvoice, you are narrating more than usual.
But Tom is right. It's very dark here.

>>93642
This can't be good...

Do you remember the general direction of your brother's house?

>>93642
Find the narrator! Also light up a torch.

>>93642
Illuminate the way forward with your newfound Princess Flash!

It's getting darker. Uh... I don't know what to do. Try turning back and entering the forest from a different direction.

>>93689
Princess Flash involves all the blood going to her head. Which means passing out.

...let's try and think of something less embarrassing and inconvenient.

Maria 2009/12/17(Thu)22:02 No. 93736 ID: 754774
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>>93644
No, but even if I did, it wouldn't matter. We came in through a different side of the forest.

"Someone's close. Thick with the scent of blood, but I'm not sure if it means anything when they hunt their dinner."

"Ah, demons have really fine-tuned senses, huh?"
Hadrian's carefree attitude is more annoying than uplifting in such a frightening situation.

>>93736
If it has blood, it has already eaten. Might as well go closer.

Maria 2009/12/17(Thu)22:10 No. 93738 ID: 754774
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>>93737
I am not really sure with that logic!

I think the darkness is coming from that direction.

Maria 2009/12/17(Thu)22:11 No. 93739 ID: 754774
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>>93738

>>93739
Shoot your princess beam at the red eyes.

I mean, look out for the red eyes.

>>93739
Ask if it is Vandis' Friend.

PRINCESSU BEAMU

>>93739
Leral?

Maria 2009/12/17(Thu)22:24 No. 93746 ID: 754774
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>>93742
>>93744
"Are you Leral?"

The creature steps into the light, revealing a young child. He nods.

Goodness, it's like he's turning the shadows into a black nothingness...

Once again. Princess Beam that evil looking thing.

>>93746
Why don't you offer it some jerky and ask where Vandis is.

>>93746
Say you're a friend of Vandis and you need to talk to him urgently.

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)19:05 No. 94142 ID: 754774
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>>93749
>>93751
Maria hands him a piece of Tom's jerky.
"Do you know where Vandis is? I need to talk to him urgently."
Leral shakes his head. He doesn't seem happy about it.

>>94142
Ask him if something happened to Vandis.

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)19:21 No. 94155 ID: 754774
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>>94146
"Did something happen to him?"
He shakes his head again, but he looks a bit more uncertain about it.

>>94155
Ask him if he can lead us to your brother's place.

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)19:30 No. 94158 ID: 754774
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>>94156
"Can you bring me to the brother's house?"
He shakes his head again.

Maybe he only knows where his home is.

...Oh, it's getting lighter now.

>>94158
Let us go to his home then. Also, ask him what he was doing around here.

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)20:05 No. 94179 ID: 754774
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>>94159
Leral leads them to what seems to be a burrow nearby, but doesn't say a word.

...I think he's mute.

The dark aura surrounding him has disappeared.

>>94179
Ask if we can wait for Vandis here.

Give him a hug.

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)20:23 No. 94192 ID: 754774
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>>94180
"Can we wait here?"
He nods, and leads them in.

The burrow is rather bare. In immediate sight are two BEDS, two POTS, a basket of HERBS, and a SHELF containing various BOOKS.

The home is dimly lit by the small strain of light pouring in. There are an array of CANDLES lining the wall.

>>94192
Ask him if we can take a look at the books.

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)20:36 No. 94202 ID: 754774
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>>94193
He nods.

These are storybooks. Vandis must read them to Leral.

>>94202
Any of them about a crystal of some sorts?

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)20:55 No. 94213 ID: 754774
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>>94203
They are fairy tales. Of course they wouldn't.

A quick skimming confirms this.

"...Maria, the kid is trying to mate with me. Make him stop."

>>94213
>HUG LERAL

And tell Tom that's silly. This is probably just the first time he's seen a friendly member of his own species. Tell Tom to be nicer to him.

>>94213
He just wants to play! Play with him.

Don't stop it. Encourage it.

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)21:15 No. 94231 ID: 754774
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>>94214
>>94215
>>94217
"No, you don't understand. The kid is really young. I don't think he can smell multiple things at once, and he assumed I'm female because I'm crystal-born. Normally the attracted is supposed to touch heads with the person they're interested in, but he's too short."
"That's adorable."
"He's about 7 years old and wants to impregnate me."

>>94231
I do not see a problem with that.

>>94231
Tell Tom to kneel down.

>>94231
Well Maria, seeing as you don't want Tom, encourage this relationship to blossom. After all, Tom is still your friend, and you want him to be happy~

>>94235
Alternatively, tell Leral Tom is already taken. By you~

>>94231
Cute, in a horrifying way.

Grab Leral and lift him so he can headbutt Tom

Gently admonish Leral. Tell him he needs to wait until he's older before doing that.

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)22:00 No. 94259 ID: 754774
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>>94235
..................
>>94239
..........................
>>94243
Tom is not pleased with this developement.

Wooo, Tom is betrothed. Time to throw a baby shower and plan the wedding.

>>94259
Where'd your star go? And yeah, pull the kid away and tell him he shouldn't be doing that.

>>94259
Now push him closer.

Put on some sexy music. Ready them for a wonderful night.

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)22:10 No. 94273 ID: 754774
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>>94263
...?

[LOLWHOOPS]

>>94273
Now tell Leral that Tom is a man.

>>94274

No, don't.

Tell Leral that Tom is very shy. You have to take these things slow, seduce him.

We're all jumping to conclusions. Maybe Leral has learned to headbutt to signal affection, since he can't use words to greet his new friends.

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)22:27 No. 94284 ID: 754774
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>>94283
That makes more sense, really. Vandis did say he raised him without demonic influence, or something to that effect.

"...."

>>94284
Sup dude!

You look like a pedophile.

>>94284
Quick! Give him a headbutt of affection!

Maria 2009/12/18(Fri)23:24 No. 94306 ID: 754774
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>>94285
"...Hello."
"Leral, I told you not to try to look for the house by yourself. Now look, you brought strangers in here."
"I think he has a crush on our demon friend!"
"Lovely."

>>94306
Don't be so hard on the little guy, we asked him to help us.
Also tell Vandis you came here to ask him about demon crystals.

>>94306
Where is everybody?

Maria 2009/12/19(Sat)01:34 No. 94346 ID: 754774
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>>94307
"We wanted to ask you about the crystal used for asexually reproducing." Tom provides.
"Ah? Not surprising coming from two crystal-born. What for?"
"I want to cure myself of a dramatic strain of skin problems caused by the crystal."
"Well I can't help you with that. The Forest Folk are the ones who shell out the medicine. They'll probably have something for you there."
"Thank you..."
"You can stay here for the night, if you want. I'm going to be cleaning the cellar for the remainder of the day. Would kill for a maid."
"Alright."
"By the way, don't try looking for the house of the brothers. It can't be discovered by anyone but them. Some sort of old enchantment."

>>94346
Ask if he would like help cleaning.

Yeah, let's help him clean. Also, ask if he can tell us how to find the forest people.

Maria 2010/01/03(Sun)18:43 No. 104639 ID: 754774
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>>94347
>>94416
"I'm sorry, I have a lot of private things in there." He gets up, moving to the corner of the room, where the way down to the cellar lies.
"Oh, no, quite alright," Tom says with suspicious cheer, "We'll just wander about until nightfall, and rest for our trip. Possibly steal some soap too, it gets more than dusty on that side of the country. Don't want to trouble you with the concern of us playing with anything, finding your cellar stuffed with dead bodies, or getting ourselves killed."
"Yes, do come back back before Leral's bedtime, he's very clingy and will go out looking for y-"

[P5 IS LAZY
NEWS AT 11]

Maria 2010/01/03(Sun)18:44 No. 104640 ID: 754774
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>>104639
"...!!"

Punch Tom for being sarcastic.

>>104641
Or have Leral headbutt Tom again.

Maria 2010/01/03(Sun)18:54 No. 104647 ID: 754774
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>>104641
I

I don't think he was being sarcastic

"Leral, come on, lots and lots and lots of cleaning to do. Lots."

Redeyes gotta eat.

Maria 2010/01/03(Sun)19:18 No. 104652 ID: 754774
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>>104650
...Oh...

Oh yes!

My, that was rather terrifying for a moment. It would make absolutely no sense to get rid of the bodies when they're raising a carnivore.

"My apologies, we'll leave until you're finished...clearing."

Tom seems pleased with her reaction.

He was being a dick. Punch him. Alternatively PRINCESS BEEEAAAM

- 2010/01/03(Sun)19:47 No. 104661 ID: 754774
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>>104654
Maria cannot punch Tom unless she forgets the character trait LADY-LIKE ETI-

Walter 2010/01/03(Sun)19:47 No. 104662 ID: 754774
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>>104661


Why is my arm a sword

>>104662
A better question is, why was it not a sword before?

Is this really a problem?

Walter 2010/01/03(Sun)20:03 No. 104676 ID: 754774
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>>104664
Because it was an arm.

On a more accurate thought, maybe the person who fixed it on was waiting until I wasn't half-dead?

My head's much clearer now. That's pretty wonderful.

I wonder if Maria's alright.
She looked fine when she fell.
I think.

>>104662
Who cares, a sword arm is awesome. Might want to get a variety of attachments, though.

Besides, you've still got another arm, ye can still wank.

>>104676
Oh, she's fine. She thinks you're dead though. I don't blame her. She found your arm, and I think there was a lot of blood. Also she can shoot Princess Beams now.

>>104680
She's also friends with a demon.

>>104685
To be fair, they did save each other's lives.

Walter 2010/01/03(Sun)20:09 No. 104689 ID: 754774
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>>104678
Unless it comes with a sheath, this is a horrible thing to have on an arm. I'd slit my own throat in my sleep.

>>104680
Princess what?

>>104689
well it's more like a princess flash.

Anyways, stand up and investigate surroundings.

>>104689
Get ye armscabbard.

>>104689
Well, It's more of a Princess Flash.

>>104689
Get an arm-scabbard in the shape of a hand... concealed surprise weapon, and you can use the line "looks like I might be weaponless, but I'm not not... disarmed"

Walter 2010/01/03(Sun)21:33 No. 104732 ID: 754774
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>>104691
>>104694
.........

"Give 'em back!"
"Yev been eatin' 'em all day. Yel' shrivel."
"That's silly! I won't!"
"Ye will if ye sleep witout closin' yer door on me."
"Stingy!"
"Ye can't snack all day!"

It's the boy from before.
The woman with the enormous breasts has an oddly northern accent.
They're both Scorpions. Related, maybe.

>>104732
Say hello to the nice people who probably saved your life.

>>104732
"'Ello 'ello 'ello, wot's all dis den?"

>>104732
Ask them if they have a scabbard for your arm. Try not to ogle her breasts.

>>104740
Ogle, man, for great justice.

KA-

BOOBS

Subtly hit on her for the entire duration of your stay. I bet she totally digs the sword arm.

Walter 2010/01/03(Sun)22:17 No. 104767 ID: 754774
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>>104736
"Hello?"
"Ah, good, yer awake. Best be gettin' on yer feet, there's gonna be some 'adventeerars' off to raid the tunnels, and when they do, wel-all get swords in 'ar fuckin' stomachs."
"I only have one good leg."
"Stick yer broken leg in a scabbard too then. I'm not carryin' ya."

Walter has acquired ARM SCABBARD!

>>104740
>>104744
Walter thanks the gods for his PERIPHERAL VISION.

Wait, when was the first part of Walter Quest? This voice is all...fuzzy on the details.

Please tell me your sword arm replaced your forearm and not your upper arm so you have at least SOME motor control of the blade beyond waggling it menacingly.

>>104767
Ask for further clarification, or, more to the point, what the hell is going on.

Courageously tell them you will defend their home and that they should trust your new SWORDFISH-ARM.

>>104767
Find a crutch or something.

Walter 2010/01/03(Sun)23:00 No. 104789 ID: 754774
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>>104771
It's attached to a little down from my elbow, so I can move it around fine.

>>104774
That is a good idea.

"Can I ask what's going on?"
"Ye fell off a cliff like a moron and was bleedin' all over 'ar burrow hole, so I just dragged ye in here out of the kindness of my heart. Ye look like an idiot, so I put a sword on ye so ye won't have trouble drawin' weapons."
"...Thank you?"
"Yah, thank my arrowholes, you stupid lil' hum'n basterd. Not even a bloodeye and those mercies are tryin' to ruin the home we've had for years."
"We should have left him," The child adds.
"Oh be quiet Emin, nothin' helpin' it now."

...So we're underground...?

This isn't a good place to be cornered in.

"Then I guess I'll have to repay my debt to you then. Lead the way."

>>104789
Why don't you fight?

>>104789
You should offer to help them.
They may be rough around the edges, but in your current state you'll want them around.

Maybe you can talk to the adventurers, let them know that these two saved your life. You might be able to save these people from getting kicked out of their home, if you're good enough with your words.

Ask them if they can help you walk just to the entrance. If all goes well, they won't need to move out.

I dont think you fell, you were probably thrown.

>>104789
Lets not mention the deal with the Crow for now. But we should mention that we're indebted to them and we will do everything in our power to pay back that debt.

I feel we should mention the Crow or whatever his name was. These are locals, they might know about him, and it would make you look less like an idiot that wasn't watching where he was walking and fell off a cliff.

Well, get up, get ready to fight, I guess. Put on your Arm scabbard.

>>104852
I don't think mentioning the crow is a good idea. We don't really know much about these two other than that they saved us and that one of them has really great tits. They may decide to dump us for some reason if they find out that we have interacted with the Crow, there could be all sorts of taboo's around that guy. When we're at a place where people aren't coming to kill us I think we should tell them, but it's not something that they need to know right now.

>>104853
I suppose. Tell them someone tossed you off the bloody cliff, and that you'll explain later.

And besides, everyone knows great tits can be trusted.

>>104854
They can be trusted on being great tits and that burrowing your face between them would be fucking great. The one they're attached too is a whole other deal.

Walter 2010/01/08(Fri)20:01 No. 107931 ID: 754774
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>>104822
>>104825
>>104852
>>104853
>>104854
...........

"I wouldn't be trying to escape in that condition, you know. Whoooo knoooows what might happen."

Walter 2010/01/08(Fri)20:02 No. 107933 ID: 754774
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>>107931

CRACK

"hahahaha"

Walter 2010/01/08(Fri)20:03 No. 107934 ID: 754774
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>>107933
"I was attacked by bandits."

"Sucks to be you."

PLay it right and we might get a feel of those slammin' tits.

>>107945
Not with the sword arm, though. The other one.

Or your face.

>>107934
What is he doing over there anyway?

Was that our memory resurfacing? Punch his face in our head. Assert dominance since you are in control of your brain.

Walter 2010/01/08(Fri)23:47 No. 107961 ID: 754774
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>>107956
Feels fucking great

I still propose asking them to bring you to the adventurers. I think you can do these people some good if you can talk the incoming assailants out of assailing.

Walter 2010/01/08(Fri)23:48 No. 107963 ID: 754774
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>>107945
One can never disagree with a stellar pair of breasts.

"We were gonna move next year, but them bastards have bombs withum. Donneeven know what ta do with guys like these."

Fight or flight in a much more general term.

I could help her fight back, or just follow them out...

>>107963
Ask her how many there are if they only out number you by a little killing them might be best.

Grope her.

Yes, we need info on these raiders. Can they be reasoned with? Fought off? Bribed? Fleeing might actually be the best option, but its worth trying. Hell, you could try repaying them by having them leave you somewhere in the way for the raiders to find, giving the demons time to run.

Assuming the raiders are humans and not bandits, you could probably survive off the pity card. But this is an extreme option.

>>107963
If you're outnumbered and outgunned (and it sounds like you are) running might be the best option for now. But make sure she knows that you're not opposed to helping them out.

>>107963
Well follow those tits and try to be as helpful as you can. But don't try to overdo it, if you act like a moron and injure yourself I don't think it will impress her.

Walter 2010/01/12(Tue)20:43 No. 109965 ID: 754774
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>>107970
>>107974
>>107981
>>108018
"I'm willing to help you, but what do you know about the situation."
"There wassa man wit sam bombs, an' then he went ta go get sam moooore men wit bombs." The woman says with heavy sarcasm.

...Her accent gets thicker with anger. She might have been raised in the North.
That's ridiculous though. It's way too cold.

"Ya sure ya know where yer goin'?"
"'Course I do, I come up to the forest all the time. Not like there's any territory to be had in the place."

The boy I'm assuming is named Emin has the same speech patterns as she does, but doesn't seem to have an accent.
I wonder if he hasn't been living with her long.
Walter ponders this, finding the subject of language nuances easier to understand when studying at home with servants as subjects, ignoring this is a totally inappropriate time to be analyzing speech in the first place.

Shut up.

So...We know nothing of the men attacking besides the fact they possess bombs, and we're apparantly entering a forest if we leave.

>>109965
Proceed.

Walter 2010/01/12(Tue)21:11 No. 109989 ID: 754774
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>>109970
Well, I'm not really insistent on talking to people with bombs.

"Ugh, I hate how many corpses are down here. Smell is so strong."
"Hey, what have ye been doin' up top, Emin?"
"Why?"

Walter 2010/01/12(Tue)21:13 No. 109991 ID: 754774
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>>109989
"He doesn't come up here all by hisself, normally."
"...Aaaahhh."

>>109991
Greet the red eyes!

Walter 2010/01/12(Tue)21:54 No. 110010 ID: 754774
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>>110001
I don't think I feel comfortable with letting my guard down around a-

Suddenly, Emin is body-slammed.

Walter 2010/01/12(Tue)21:54 No. 110011 ID: 754774
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>>110010
The attacker stands.

Walter 2010/01/12(Tue)21:55 No. 110012 ID: 754774
File 12633621152.png - (68.70KB , 640x480 , 52.png )

>>110011

>>110011
Quick, Headbutt her!

She should be able to crush that tiny one under her monster mams.

Walter vs The French Maid from Hell

-Round 4-

Ready?

FIGHT!

Throw her off guard by saying something to the effect of "WHOA YOU ARE SO COOL :O"