Sticks 2009/12/12(Sat)11:46 No. 90499 ID: fb5d8e
File 126064717170.png - (60.12KB , 700x700 , c11-2.png )

I understand that you want to talk to me?

Yes.

Does this make me look fat?

>>90499
There's something on my mind that I've been wanting to say to you for a while. I still care for you a lot, in fact I love you very much, but not in the same way. I think that we're having problems, and maybe we should take some time off. You see, I'm not sure how I feel, but maybe we shouldn't see each other any more. No, no, don't cry, ahh, it's not what I meant. Please don't cry, it's just some time off. Maybe we can get back together in a couple of months. I was only kidding, I wanted to see if you really cared for me.

"Sticks... You should... cover your chest it's... very distracting..."

Stare at her chest the whole time.

No, people.
Thats Sticks talking to US.

>>90506
I am aware of that.

>>90499
Yeah. How are you handling last night? I remmeber you saying to us that you didn't like sex, and just liked watching boys going at it. You, well, really didn't seem to like the stright sex at all. You ok?

Also, Lil' Boss is captured by Elves, most likely to have the skin flayed from his bones. And he was really,really. cloooose~~~ with his prince! They looked super-nummy togeather, you get my meaning Sticks? It looks like Black Fang might have some trouble winning Ridder's heart, ehehe.

>>90508
Oh! Yeah, is it? We wanna tell Black Fang Yes/No/Maybe

So, Sticks - do you prefer it in the vagina, mouth, or ass?

>>90499
Sticks we hate you now. Give the ring to Iesgip.

Suggestion 2009/12/12(Sat)12:27 No. 90518 ID: 964033
File 126064966723.png - (49.10KB , 663x690 , Charm.png )

>>90498
Sticks, it might not be a good idea to be too blunt with Ridder. He's more of the hopeless romantic type.

Right now, the best thing to do would be to make him something that reminds him of you. Maybe a new charm for his sidearm that he can keep close to his side at all times, with the charm hanging off the end of it in the shape of your little outfit's head as well as a piece of your hair.

<- Like this.

Then, let's get it enchanted so that it glows whenever enemies are nearby so that he doesn't get caught flat footed like with that Fang again. Sure, that'll cost money, but you are a theif after all, I'm sure we can obtain enough somehow. Might even use some of Ridder's, I'm sure he wouldn't mind since it's for him.

When you get it to him, whether in person or through letter, explain that you don't want to see him get ambushed like that time with the fang ever again, and that you worry about him or something.

...Sticks, ignore them all.

We just want to ask a few questions: How do you feel towards Ridder?
How do you feel about the sex you had - I think it's last night? It's kinda hard to tell in this orb. Anyway, how do you feel about that sex?
Who's the best planner to go save Ridder? He might need it, He was going to try and find the Elves.
Do you know anything about the Fangs, or know where you can find any information from them?

>>90498
Oh what are you people doing you are so ridiculous honestly now

... Though I can't remember what we wanted to talk with you about either. But while we have you here...

Look, about you and Ridder...
He is kind of upset about how things turned out.
He has all these naive notions about true love and how he would save his first everything and such.
And he is sort of down that it didn't work out that way.
So... I dunno. Talk with him or something.

>>90499
Ah, hi. Apparently, that incident that happened in the goblin village really did a number on Ridder. He wanted his first time to be with his True Love. He wanted it to be special. Instead he got drugged and had sex with an employee. He was very disillusioned for a while. He lost sight of his dream of finding that special someone.

I think he likes you, but doesn't feel you would be the type of girl he would marry. He likes your kind heart, in particular.

So basically for now he's going to have a lot of trouble talking to you. I suggest trying to be understanding about the issue. Give him some time to adjust.

On a completely different topic, perhaps you could work with Grek and/or Iesgip about trap design? Right now the only thing set up is those bone tripwire alarms Black Fang made, and that's really not quite enough I think.

Sticks 2009/12/12(Sat)12:38 No. 90525 ID: fb5d8e
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I dunno what the big deal is, you guys. It's not like I'm a traumatized little kitten that runs away at the sight of anything male.
I mean, I suppose I wouldn't have agreed to this kind of intimacy if we were drugged.. but who knows? I just needed a little kick in the ass to loosen up a bit.

I still think Ridder is very attractive. Very attractive.. But I don't want to marry him. It'd be nice if we could just.. just have a shortterm relation with no huge plans for the future.
I'm probably crushing on him big time, but I know he's not the love of my life for sure.

>>90525
Sticks, you really need to shave.

>>90525
Would you call Ridder's dick adorable?

>>90525
Wait a minute, are you in front of a fucking mirror? TEAR THAT SHIT DOWN THERE MIGHT BE TREASURE BEHIND.

>>90525
>traumatized little kitten
>kitten

Sure didn't take you long to warm up to your new body, did it?

Actually, girl, looks like we forgot what we had to tell ya, simply put.

Or, the ones who had something to say aren't around.

Say, do you have any tasks lined up? How good are you are tracking day-old trails? I wanna find the Fangs. They are being a mighty trouble.

Ah. Well, we're glad you're feeling okay.

It may not be a big deal to you, but it is to Riddler. He's put a lot of importance on the idea of True Love and finding the right person to be with.

>>90525
...Just incase you missed the volley of long winded posts just before you updated...
>>90523
>>90522
>>90520
>>90518

Did...something happen, Sticks. You seem...different...

>>90525
That would probably be good for Ridder too if he wasn't so shook up about it.

He's just so naive about sex and love. We tried to talk to him but it seemed to make things worse. He swung from hopeless optimism about True Love to complete pessimism.

On the other hand, you are an employee of his. If you were somehow an outside entity, he would probably be more receptive to the idea of having a relationship with you. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there's some stuff we can find for you to do that doesn't involve standing around staring at a door for hours. Boy, was that a dumb idea. For some reason I was expecting more in-depth espionage.

Sticks 2009/12/12(Sat)12:49 No. 90537 ID: fb5d8e
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I do feel pretty bad for Ridder. I understand his ideas of love must be as idealistic as everything he does.. but, really, what can I do?
He's the one with an unrealistic view on how the world works..
It's hurting me too, you know. Because of his opinion it's become an 'Everything or nothing' situation, and that sucks.

Anyway, I'm not here to work with you guys. I gotta hand you over to Iesgip. I'm just delaying while I check out my body.

>>87938
Yeah, I thought you said you just liked to watch, due to stress. And you're sure your not projected whe you call yourself
> I'm a traumatized little kitten that runs away at the sight of anything male.

>>90537
Trust me, you're not the only one checking out that body~<3

>>90537
Do you have nightvision now? Did you lose any dexterity with the switch to shorter fingers?

>>90537
Check for MANLY PHYSIQUE. I hear cats get a ot of that.

>>90537
Hey, no wait! You come back here!

Listen, we gotta talk some more. Why is it hurting you too? You want to not be tied down? Is that it? I mean... If you're not going to give him your all, you have to stop dragging him along. It's a terrible thing to do.

Do you even have a vision of what the love of your life would be? Why not Ridder, actually?

Hey! Stop forcing her to like him. The only boy she likes that isn't trying to fuck another boy like a rabbit is probably married to some other noble's daughter, that hussy. It's not like she needs to be reminded why she was thrown out of her village for trying to be with the hobbit she loved.

Unless that's not true, Sticks.

>>90537
I don't really know either, honestly.
Just... talk to him, I guess.

>>90537
Still adjusting to being feline, eh?

Sticks 2009/12/12(Sat)13:14 No. 90551 ID: fb5d8e
File 126065249814.png - (60.02KB , 700x700 , c11-5.png )

Oh no, I got over that boy a long time ago. What I felt then.. Well, it's what I feel for Ridder now. He's really hot and stuff, but I don't see us growing old together.
I just want to get with him for the moment... but I'm not allowed to. Rejection hurts regardless of the shape it comes in, you know.

..Oh, I don't know. These feelings all mostly rose up after last night.
I'll just let it away, I guess.
It's not love, it's lust.

>>90551
TELL THAT TO THE EMBRYO SLOWLY GROWING IN YOUR WOMB

Sticks, If I had a physical body, I would hug you.

But, seriously, You did tell us that you didn't like getting involved due to the stress. Forgive me for thinking this was kind of your way of internalizing your feelings.

If you thought he was hot and had a crush on Ridder, why did you want him and His Prince to get togeather? Or kept suggesting how much he wants his prince. It just kind of confuses me, I guess.

>>90498
>It's not love, it's lust.
Give it some time... you never know what might happen.

>>90551
Aw. Yeah, Ridder is the kind of person who would insist upon sex being part of a long-term relationship, unfortunately for you.

...unless we can convince him to look at it as a kind of training. I'll see what I can do, once he calms down a bit about the issue. Though keep in mind our loyalties are to him first. If he's not totally comfortable with the idea we're not going to force him.

>>90551
You completely certain of that? He didn't reject you, after all.

>>90551
I don't think it is. I think you're confused and need some time and thinking to let things sink in.

Go sit in a hot bath for a while.

Fair enough. Just thought we'd get your opinion on it.

How was it, by the way?

SPEAKING OF THAT PRINCE, turns out Ridder's prince was a volto or whatever, one of the long-nosed things, didn't you say you met a princely looking one of those?

Sticks 2009/12/12(Sat)13:34 No. 90564 ID: fb5d8e
File 126065369690.png - (71.48KB , 700x700 , c11-6.png )

Well yeah, feelings are not very straight to point, are they.. I'll go talk to Ridder when he gets back.

..But I still don't mind him getting with another boy if I can watch~

"Uhm, Black Fang told me you had a ring for me."

>>90564
Sticks - Sticks listen!

We belong to YOU, we are YOU OWN... YOUR PRECIOUSSSS! A BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!

Nah, just fuckin' with ya. Give us to the overgrown rat.

Tell us how the sex was first!

We need to know if we have to make fun of Ridder!

>>90564
Make a production of handing it over, along with a kiss on the cheek.
Should be good for a laugh on both sides.

Give the ring along with a grave warning about how it has been known to bring madness to those who weild it, and should the weilder hear voices... well... the madness must surely be upon them.

Where are you wearing the ring, anyways? I don't see it on your hands, probably too small for your tail (Though that would be so adorable). Doubt you have it on your feet.

Is it on your tongue? Clearly you must give it to iesgip by making out with her.

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)13:47 No. 90573 ID: fb5d8e
File 12606544539.png - (93.75KB , 700x700 , c11-7.png )

"Yeah, here you go. Just.. take care deciding what to listen to and what not.. They're being a bit silly right now."
"I'll keep it in mind. Thank you."

EQUIPPING RING!

RING EQUIPPED!

AWAITING RIDDER'S GUIDING VOICES!

herro :3

>>90573
PUNCH. EVERYTHING.

>>90573
Yo.

What's up?

BOW DOWN TO YOUR GOD!

>>90573
Hi! :3
Also you would do well to heed Sticks' warning.
We ARE a bit silly sometimes.

>>90573
So what's on the schedule for today?

You're a dude, aren't you?

ATTEN-TION!
SOLDIER, REPORT!
I NEED THE STATUS OF YOUR OPERATIONS AND ANY SIGHTINGS OF THE ENEMY OR KNOWLEDGE OF THEIR WHEREABOUTS, AND I NEED IT NOW.
FURTHER I DEMAND YOU PRESENT A LIST OF WEAPONS WITH WHICH YOU ARE BATTLE-READY, SOLDIER! WE MUST BE PREPARED!
FINALLY I AM GOING TO NEED TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE EVER HAD A BOYFRIEND AND HOW CUTE HE WAS ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN.
MOVE!

At ease, we aren't the military type. We're totally fucking casual. All the way, baby.

Ridder might like it though, probably reminds him of the battlefield.

Lesgip can love blossom on the battlefield?

'sup Iesgip.

What was for breakfast today?

Hug sticks

hey 'sup?

You got any siblings? Man, you look totally awesome in that skirt by the way. You'd look awesomer if it was more girly, but that's totally okay.

>>90573
Greetings! Have you tried on the cloak yet? Are you any good with a crossbow?

We're likely going to have you mixing a bit of sentry work with your other duties, if your skills match well with the new equipment. Are you up to it?

CORRECTION! WE ARE AS READY FOR WAR AS ANY FIGHTING FORCE ON THIS PLANET! WE MUST TRAIN OUR RECRUITS TO THE LEVEL OF A ELITE FIGHTING FORCE DEDICATED TO THE DESTRUCTION OF ANYTHING WE COMMAND! SOLDIER! YOUR CO IS TAKEN AS A POLITICAL PRISONER BY THE FILTHY ELVES. WE ARE ORDERING YOU TO SAVE HIM. WE CAN DIRECT YOU TO THE INSERTION POINT! HUSTLE, HUSTLE, HUSTLE!

>>90573
So what's with the military schtick anyway? You're from a kobold village, for crying out loud.

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)13:59 No. 90593 ID: fb5d8e
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SIR!
SUPERHEAVY CROSSBOW IS IN WORKING CONDITION, BUT RUNNING LOW ON AMMUNITION!
SIR!
I HAVE YET TO COMMENCE MY DAILY SCOUTING AND HUNTING DUTIES!
SIR!

>>90593
...goddamn.

How much can you freakin' bench-press?

>>90593
QUIT YELLING AT US we can hear you perfectly well, y'know.
Relax, homegirl.

It seems rather large for you, but if you're sure you can handle it, it's fine.

You might want to talk to Nebraska Nekraska about more bolts, though.

(I think that's his name?)

>>90593
Perhaps Nakraska could help with the bolt problem.
Hmmm... did you notice a new kobold female in the woods anytime in the past few days? And if you did, any information on her?

Also, Iesgip - keep up the good work. Props to you and your attitude toward work - it's refreshing to see such a hard worker, a go-getter.

>>90593
Wow! That crossbow is much bigger than I thought, and you're handling it so well!

...those muscles...

Um! I mean! Do you think Nakraska could make some wooden practice rounds? It's too bad we don't have any way of making arrowheads for it.

>>90593
Go see what the carpenter can do about the ammunition situation. This should only take a few minutes; scouting and hunting can wait.

Also, while I admire your diligence and all that, you can calm down. We're a talking ring, not your commanding officer.

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)14:08 No. 90601 ID: fb5d8e
File 126065568075.png - (97.93KB , 700x700 , c11-9.png )

Sir!
I will lower my volume!
Sir!
I have seen a female kobold around here, sir! I do not know her personally!
Sir!
I will ask Nakraska about new bolts! What should I say to him?!
Sir!

>>90601
"Hey babe. What's shaking?"

>Hug Nakraska

ALSO ASK HIM WHAT HE KNOWS ABOUT THIS UNFAMILIAR KOBOLD
BE SURE TO ALSO ASK HIM WHAT HE THINKS OF HER

>>90601
Ask Nebraska about the kobold, he seemed to be familiar with her earlier.

Also, since we're on the topic - how do you feel about Neb- Nekraska? You two grew up in the same village, right?

>>90601
We are not your supperiour, soldier. We serve as advisor to Ridder, yes, but we are not in any way employed in his army, be more at ease with us, it's hard to work with someone stuck in such a strict routine, just tell us whatever comes to mind at any time!

>>90601
Greet him, and inform him that you're taking orders via the ring today.

Does this female kobold tend to wear a headband with foliage attached to it? She's probably from the 'Boss's camp. Ask Nakraska if he can try to maybe get some information about the 'Boss' out of her.

GOOD SOLDIER! INTERROGATE NAKRASKA! HE WAS LAST SEEN WITH AN AGENT OF A FOREIGN POWER! YOU WILL FIND OUT WHAT HE KNOWS! ONCE YOU HAVE FOUND THE TRUTH, BEGIN SCOUTING. EQUIP CLOAK. HUNT FOREIGN KOBALT!

>>90616
>>90604
That's enough outta you lot!

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)14:28 No. 90620 ID: fb5d8e
File 126065690378.png - (83.57KB , 700x700 , c11-10.png )

"Good afternoon, Nakraska."
"Hey, what's up?"
"I need bolts for this crossbow. Do you think you can reproduce these kinds without the metal head?"
"Sure thing. I'll have a few done in a second."
"Hey, Nakraska."
"Yeah?"
"Who was that girl you were talking with?"
"That was Tislomer from back home. She was looking for some rare herbs. I told her you might be able to help her, but that embarrassed her for some reason."
"Oh, I see. Thank you."
"No prob."

Ask him "Didn't Tislomer go with that man that corrupted that pour child when he lied that he saved her?"

Pat him on the butt, it's professional for professional comrades in battle.

Wait...
We KNOW that Tisolmer works for the Boss, because we saw her going into the Boss' base when Sticks was watching the entrance.

He is friends with the enemy :O This is gonna get messy.

>>90601

I CAN'T HEAR YOU, SOLDIER! LOUDER!

>>90619
SHUT IT, NOCOM! WE ARE HERE FOR THE TRAINING AND BETTERMENT OF YEOMAN IESGIP. IF SHE WANTED TO LISTEN TO YOU PANTYWASTES, SHE WOULD HAVE NOT SIGNED UP FOR THE KNIGHT BLADES, DO YOU HEAR ME YOU SNIVELING WASTES OF THOUGHT PATTERNS?!

>>90622
Iegsip is probably friends with her as well.

Iegsip, what do you remember about Tislomer? You're from the same village.

>>90624
How hot was she, on a scale of 1-10?

>>90620
That confirms it, Tislomer is working for the 'Boss'. We should try to get additional information from her if she stops by again.

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)15:06 No. 90629 ID: fb5d8e
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SIR!
I don't know Tislomer personally! I will approach her if she returns!
SIR!
Wooden crossbow bolts acquired!
SIR!
I am ready to begin my duties!
SIR!
My daily routine consists of checking my trap, gathering vegetables, and scouting for enemy troops!
SIR!

>>90629
Okay, seriously. Stop with the "SIR" every other sentence.

It's starting to get annoying. Really, just think of us as your thoughts. I highly doubt you talk that way to yourself in your mind now, do you?

>>90629
Please, call us "Madame".

WELL, QUIT MUCKIN' ABOUT AND GET TO WORK.

YOU HAVE YOUR ORDERS

At ease, minion.

>>90629
Go start gathering herbs while checking for enemies, it's more efficient.

After you have gathered sufficient herbs to warrant returning, go to check the trap on the way back, as the extra time spent on other duties increases the chances something might have gotten caught.


YOU HAVE YOUR ORDERS, NOW GET MOVING!

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)15:29 No. 90639 ID: fb5d8e
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MA'AM!
Herbs and vegetables gathered!
MA'AM!

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)15:29 No. 90640 ID: fb5d8e
File 126066058877.png - (86.68KB , 700x700 , c11-13.png )

MA'AM!
Trap has been succesful! Acquiring prey and resetting trap!
MA'AM!

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)15:30 No. 90641 ID: fb5d8e
File 12606606184.png - (110.33KB , 700x700 , c11-14.png )

MA'AM!
No enemy troops in sight!
MA'AM!
Returning to base to prepare dinner!
MA'AM!

>>90640
>MA'AM!

Much better.

You're such a trooper. I'm glad you have a good weapon to defend yourself with now, with how obviously essential you are to the base's operation.

Good work, soldier!

DAMN GOOD JOB IEGSIP.

CALL US SIR, THOUGH. MY COLLEAGUE WAS INCORRECT.

YOU GET PROMOTED TO CORPORAL.

TOMORROW LOOK FOR APHRODISIAC HERBS. CARRY ON, CORPORAL.

>>90641
Carry on, soldier, you are performing admirably.

Stay attentive to your surroundings at all times, soldier, even when it seems your duties may be simple. Situational awareness is a soldier's best friend.

Step lightly, somethings off.

Wear shorts instead of a skirt you harlot.
Why would you be wearing a skirt that is ridiculous.

>>90646
We are both Sir and Ma'am. Not quite sure how you address a group though. Anyhow, MOVE OUT SOLDIER!

CORPORAL, YOU ARE A CREDIT TO YOUR SPECIES! WE WILL BEGIN TRAINING IN STEALTH AND COMBAT! PROCEED TO CQC WITH BLACK FANG! ONCE YOU HAVE FINISHED, YOU WILL BEGIN TO HUNT FOR FANG COMMANDER, YELLOW FANG! TRACK HIM VIA GREEN FANG'S SCENT, CORPORAL! DISSSSMISSED!

>>90652
Commander would work

>>90652
As Ma'am, of course.

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)16:02 No. 90659 ID: fb5d8e
File 126066255074.png - (128.97KB , 700x700 , c11-15.png )

SIR, YES, SIR!
I will request training from Black Fang, SIR!

"Sir! Requesting training, sir!"
"Huh? I'm a warrior, not a teacher."
"Oh, I see. Thank you anyway."
"Uh, sure.."

>>90659
Okay, now seriously. We're crazy voices, not your superior officer. It's great that you're this dedicated and it'd be nice if the others could learn from your example, but turn it down a little.

>>90659
Get in some achery practice maybe? have you tried out and ranged your new gift yet, soldier?

>>90659
So, Iesgip, enough with the duties for a little bit. Tell us about yourself - we really don't know you that well.

What are your goals in life?
Why are you so militarily inclined? That's uncommon for a kobold.
Do you find any of the males here in camp hot?

>>90659
How long before you need to start cooking? If there's a bit of time to spare you could try some practice shooting your new weapon.

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)16:26 No. 90670 ID: fb5d8e
File 126066399682.png - (83.57KB , 700x700 , c11-16.png )

SIR!
Thinking like this helps me remain disciplined! Discipline means strength!
SIR!
The superheavy crossbow lies well in my hands! I am confident in my abilities with it! I will begin cooking now!
SIR!
I wish to make a difference in the fight against evil so I can save my home village!
SIR!
I find Sir Ridder's dedication and mien very handsome! But he is no kobold!
SIR!

>>90670
>But he is no kobold!

Ahhh, I get it - you like Nekraska then.

>>90670
Well, can't argue with that. Christ, I'm glad you're on our side.

>>90670
Hey, Iesgip. Got an idea for you.

Okay, so Grek is trying to make non-magic induced explosives, right?

So like, how about this.

Exploding crossbolts.

Does that not sound fucking awesome or what?

>>90674
Maybe not explosive yet, but she does have a molten metal recipe that could be rather potent ( a mix of magnesium, aluminum, and iron oxide dusts if I were to make any guess.)

>>90670
So what kind of things do you look for in a kobold, then?

Iesgip 2009/12/12(Sat)16:39 No. 90682 ID: fb5d8e
File 12606647403.png - (79.71KB , 700x700 , c11-17.png )

Sir!
I do not find Nakraska attractive! There is no intensity about him at all!
Sir.
I would like to be with a strong and driven man..
Uhm..
Sir! Why are you asking me about my romantic interests?

>>90682
We moonlight as a matchmaker.

>>90684
Moonlight? Hell no, that's our primary directive.

>>90682
It's sort of what we do. We dabble in matters of the heart as much as we dole out advice.

>>90679
She can HEAT metal, not melt it. Thermite is fun and all but I doubt she has it.
Let's get this kobold-who's-name-I-keep-forgetting to drag it's ass over to the tinkerer with the black powder recipe, though.

>>90682
errhh sorry, one of our major goals is to create more life, "if you catch my meaning."

Anyhow, you should see if that goblin girl can make any molten bolts to fit in your new crossbow.

>>90682
Well, let's be honest - you don't have any pressing concerns for us to advise you about right now, and we like to get to know our charges.

And yeah, we like to hook people up. It's our "thing".

So, is there a special kobold in your life then? Anyone back at the village? What do you think of Black Fang?

>>90682
Okay anyways.

So here's the deal. The "Boss" tried to poison Ridder, but it backfired or something. Unless he actually wanted to have him screw Sticks' little kittybrains out.

SO WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING FOR REVENGE. Because revenge is always fun.

So, first off, what kind of herbs can we burn which would induce poisoning, or even a knockout gas? Because there is a vent at the "Boss'" lair, which we could funnel some kind of noxious fumes into.

>>90682
We deal in all kinds of advice, love just happens to be the highest in demand. Force of habit if you will.

Romantic interests is half of what we do.

CORPROAL, AFTER DINNER PREPERATIONS ARE COMPLETE TALK TO GREK ABOUT SPECIALTY CROSSBOW AMMO.


IN ADDITION, MAKE POISON FOR POISON BOLTS.

>>90693
This bears clarifying, our fragments are possessed by numerous masters. Our greatest drive is protecting our host from harm and helping them achieving their goals and their happiness. Should our masters ever come into conflict with each other, we can only assist so far as self-defense or resolving the conflict. "The Boss" is in fact our other master.

Oh, so you were into Barbakurus back home before he left then? I understand he was a very strong and brave kobold. Yeah, Nakrasha or whatever is a bit apathetic to any fight really. He's kind though.

After you're done making dinner you should make a punching bag out of the leftovers. Beat the ever fucking shit out of it with your bare hands.

>>90699
IGNORE MY MANGLING OF CORPORAL, AS YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER IAM TOO BUSY FOR SPELLING

>>90693
Oh, this is definately a good idea, it is even a sound assult tactic, if we could just fent poisonous gasses into the Boss' lair, half of Ridder's work would be done for him!
I second this!

>>90701
What the frig are you talking about? It's not like we're some namby pamby orb or something - we're an extension of Ridder's mind, communicated through the ring. "The Boss" is the enemy.

DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE IDLE VOICES, CORPORAL! WE DO NOT GIVE A TINKERS CUSS ABOUT YOUR ROMANCES! I FACT WE WOULD RATHER SEE THEM BEATEN OUT OF YOU LIKE THE SKIN OF A DEAD ANIMAL! GET BACK TO BLACK FANG, AND DEMAND TRAINING! DID I TELL YOU TO STOP, YOU WEAK CHINNED MOMMA'S BOY? YOU WILL PROCEED TO LEARN ALL YOU CAN LEARN IN CLOSE QUARTER COMBAT, TACTICS AND WARFARE UNTIL YOU ARE FIT FOR THE TITLE OF BOSS! MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!

>>90709
Disregard that, suck cocks.

>>90709
Quite, I seriously doubt "the Boss" (whoever would have a pretentious, faggy ass title like that?) can stretch their mental influences to transcend the very fabric of time and space.

Because that would be just whack, and we don't got not time for whack, AM I RIGHT SOLDIER!?

Eyes on your task, Cadet. Push aside the foolish thoughts. Perhaps if you are observant, you'll learn a thing or two.

A thought occurs to me. Ridder himself is looking to gain insight to each of his... well, each of you. He'll learn about you through us, so, if there's anything interesting about yourself that you would consider important.

Now. Shoulders back! Watch the knife and the fire, and don't drop the meal! You have your orders, chop chop!

>>90682
You know, your a smart one. Ridder get's distracted by us, leading to him thinking too much, while Sticks has so far just seen it fit to amuse us, idly ignoring our banter. You seem to have done your tasks without so much as batting an eye, and on top of that, you've humored us by agreeing with everything.

So, what do you think so far of Ridder?

>>90682
We seek to promote happiness in all those we assist, and what better way to be happy than to find that special someone? Plus, knowing more about people lets us give better advice.

Our motivations are really quite practical for asking these questions.

Iesgip: Introspection is the nature of the ring.

Iesgip 2009/12/13(Sun)03:09 No. 90946 ID: fb5d8e
File 126070258587.png - (79.83KB , 700x700 , c11-18.png )

SIR!
I have no interest in love at the moment!
SIR!
Perhaps I will meet a nice male during the holiday!
SIR!
I only have one kind of herb that has effect when burned or turned to incense! I will prepare it immediatly!
SIR!
But Im not allowed to leave the base! Someone else will need to take it to the enemy's lair!
SIR!

>>90946
Pass it over to Black Fang then, or keep it safe until Ridder gets back.

>>90946
A knockout gas bomb sounds like something we'd use right before an invasion. Just prepare and set them aside for now until we have an actual attack squad. Right now the only real fighters we have are Black Fang and Ridder. No offense, I'm sure you'd be good in a fight but your main job is here at the base.

>>90946
Very well then, are there any other duties around the base that need attending to? What weakness do you see in our defenses?

>>90946
What exactly would this effect be?
'cuz I only know of one significant (and rare) herb around here and it's a component to a love potion.

Iesgip 2009/12/13(Sun)10:13 No. 90993 ID: fb5d8e
File 126072803399.png - (77.83KB , 700x700 , c11-19.png )

[b]SIR!
When these sticks are lit it creates a smoke that fogs the mind when inhaled!
SIR!
It keeps the victim from thinking straight, and may even cause hallucinations!
SIR!
It is usually used during rituals, but it's very dangerous for the unexpecting!
SIR![/i]

>>90993
Check it out - bold cleavage.

>>90993
What kind of rituals?

>>90993
GOOD JOB CORPORAL, WE MAY NEED THOSE LATER. SET THEM ASIDE.

>>90993
Tell us CORPORAL! Have YOU SEEN the ENEMY? We are aware he came to your village and enacted various VILLAINOUS DEEDS, did you or did you not WITNESS SAID deeds? Can you give any sort of DESCRIPTION of 'THE BOSS'?

What did he take from YOU that you wan't BACK!? I wanna know why you WAR FACE is on, that's YOUR WAR FACE is it NOT? I WANNA SEE YOUR WAR FACE! SHOW IT TO ME! TELL ME WHAT HE TOOK FROM YOU?! TELL ME WHY YOU ARE HERE!

Iesgip 2009/12/13(Sun)12:53 No. 91020 ID: fb5d8e
File 126073758725.png - (61.59KB , 700x700 , c11-20.png )

SIR!
I want to protect my home!
SIR!
I've put away the incense and I'm continuing my cooking!
SIR!
If that's all Ridder wanted you to help me with then perhaps I should give the ring to someone else!
SIR!

>>91020

If that's how you talk all the time you're never gonna get a dude. Everyone's gonna think you're a crazy chick who's too hell-bent on work.

After work, go and take a rest. And stop calling us Sir. Think of us as a friend.

>>91020
I think he gave it to you because we can kinda-sorta communicate with him with the two rings. It's not instant, it's like...well, when we're talking to him we can relay things that are happening back home.

He more than likely gave it to you because you take your job to the utmost seriousness, and can be depended on.

>>91020
Yes, well, if you're done, then handing us over to someone else may not be a bad idea. I'm voting either Nakraska, to hear more about this Tislomer incident, or Grek, just for the hell of it.

And, Iesgip, is there anything you enjoy doing? Like, a hobby, or pass-time, or something? You're doing a great job, but you're going to give yourself a heart attack if you don't take a breather occasionally.

>>91021
SHUT IT, NONCOM!

>>91020
CORPORAL IESGIP, THAT IS A BRILLIANT SUGGESTION! TO GAIN INSIGHT OF THE REST OF THE PLATOON, GIVE THE RING TO BLACK FANG!

Personally, I do not feel handing it over to Sergeant Fang would be a good idea. I think handing us over to Grek would be better, as we don't really know what she's been up to!

>>91043
Indeed, our primary task at base is to gain more information, thus it would be in our benefit to speak to one to who we have not yet had any contact with.

>>91049
Especially since we can teach her how to make explosives.

Grek 2009/12/13(Sun)13:41 No. 91063 ID: fb5d8e
File 126074051465.png - (73.95KB , 700x700 , c11-21.png )

"Grek, I have Ridder's ring here for you."
"Huh.. Ne'er theght I'd get te wear it."

The feck ye went?

We don't really know. What've you been up to? Any interesting traps or explosive gubbins?

>>91063
Do you have a crush on Finesse?

>>91063
Have we got a recipe for you...

>>91066
Or Black Fang?

Really, half of what we do is Matchmaking, and we haven't been doing much lately.

>>91063
Ello Darlen? ows it going? What kinda devious develry ave yah been cooken up in ere? I'm talken da big plans n good stuff yah ken?

Grek 2009/12/13(Sun)13:57 No. 91075 ID: fb5d8e
File 126074143014.png - (53.52KB , 700x700 , c11-22.png )

Th'feck's my p'rson'l life te yeh? Get et.

Eh still ain't gett'n much pr'gr'ss on 'em explesives. Tried te work from th'chem'cal r'action eh get b'fer. Figured if it 'eats up real quick, et'll expand, so tha's getta cr'ate a shockwave.. But seh fer jus' gettin' small shockwaves that ain't gen deh shite on th'r own.

Please describe what exactly you are using.

In addition, you might want to put it into a tube and put a small metal ball in, to turn the pressure up.

>>91075
You could try sealing the prototype explosives in airtight containers. I hear the effects of expanding gas are amplified in closed spaces.

>>91075
ehh gurl yah gotta get more ah dah dephlogisticated air yeh ken? annnit need ta bee pecked n ground tighta n fina.

Yah gunna wanna mek et wet wif alchohols, n high spirits furst for yah grind it roit? Doint do dis inna enclossed workshop roit. Gunna wan't some sunlight away from dah candleflame fur dis grinden.

Grek 2009/12/13(Sun)14:18 No. 91096 ID: fb5d8e
File 126074270097.png - (90.52KB , 700x700 , c11-23.png )

Yeh, let me jes' pull a barrel 'n metal ball from me feckin' ess. Feck.
Tis' a good idea, though. Eh tried packin' it up tight, but ain't doin' much good. If eh can make it focus the force inteh one d'rection..

Lessee whet eh used. Keep f'rgettin' their names. I jus' 'dentify 'em by smell.
'Ere we go. One side is ground Bluestone 'n Faysalt, with some boiled down Grebbletar. Ether side's Hailbark 'n Torgans Wives, ground up too, 'n boiled in some more Grebbletar. Then ye pour 'em t'gether, give 'em a bit, 'n they s'ddenly melt thregh the gless c'tainer.

This ain't explosive, that's an acid.

Do you have black powder?

>Bluestone 'n Faysalt, with some boiled down Grebbletar. Ether side's Hailbark 'n Torgans Wives, ground up too, 'n boiled in some more Grebbletar.

What is this, I don't even

We might need some properties of these substances. We've likely got different names for them.

>>91098
Actually I think she's invented thermite. Glass is fairly acid resistant unless its hydrofluoric acid (which can still only etch the glass.)

If she had made Hydrofluoric acid she would be quite dead if even a drop of it touched her skin, as the calcium balance and buffer solutions in her blood would cataclysmicly fail.

>>91096
Ok, major problem detected, we don't use the same names for shit.

>>91102
Yes, I was wrong. It's thermite.

Anyone here knows the ingredients for thermite?

>>91098
Ofcourse she doesn't have fucking black powder! You think she'd be trying to make fucking thermite explode if she had black powder!?

>>91106
What the hell was I thinking, right?
How stupid I am.

>>91105
Thermites can be a diverse class of compositions. The fuels are often aluminium, magnesium, calcium, titanium, zinc, silicon, and boron. The oxidizers can be boron(III) oxide, silicon(IV) oxide, chromium(III) oxide, manganese(IV) oxide, iron(III) oxide, iron(II,III) oxide, copper(II) oxide, and lead(II,III,IV) oxide.[1]

The most common thermite is aluminium-iron(III) oxide.

The reaction between potassium permanganate and glycerol or ethylene glycol is used as an alternative to the magnesium method. When these two substances mix, a spontaneous reaction will begin, slowly increasing the temperature of the mixture until flames are produced. The heat released by the oxidation of glycerine is sufficient to initiate a thermite reaction. However, this method can also be unreliable and the delay between mixing and ignition can vary greatly due to factors such as particle size and ambient temperature.

Grek 2009/12/13(Sun)14:35 No. 91112 ID: fb5d8e
File 126074370113.png - (114.97KB , 700x700 , c11-24.png )

Th'feck ye callin' Thermite? I'm callin' thes Grek's Brew.
'Ere, let me dem'strate 't.

Pour 'em both t'gether.. Let 'em party.. 'n swesh't goes.
Eh used a whole letta thes te bend up Ridd'r's arm'r.

Separate your ingredients. The recipe for black powder is 75 percent potassium nitrate, 15 percent charcoal and 10 percent sulfur. This is usually measured by weight: 75 parts to 15 parts to 10 parts.


Finely grind the ingredients. For safety's sake, grind them all separately and clean out the mortar and pestle thoroughly between crushings.


Mix all of the ingredients with a small amount of distilled water until the substance is the consistency of cookie dough.


Place small amounts of the mixture in a fine sieve and slowly pour small amounts of alcohol through them. This is a dangerous step; do not perform it near sparks or flame. This step can be skipped, but the resultant black powder will be of poor quality.


Hand-form the mixture into small, rectangular shapes. This is called "corning." Allow the shapes to dry thoroughly. Corning will allow the powder to form regular larger sized grains, which greatly increase the reliability and consistency of the gunpowder.

I'm sure another helpful voice will be along to help us settle the naming differences.

>>91112
The stuff you've invented has been invented numerous times before, in different points in history, in different alternate realities and universes. Thermite is the name we're most familiar with.

Don't fret though, you're the first to invent this stuff in this universe.

Also, what color are you? We rarely have color vision. Don't ask why.

She said she identifies her materials mostly by smell, which is great for us since smell usualy won't differ from reality to reality, so if we can properly explain the scents of the materials she will need, we'll be even closer to those delicious massive explosions.

>>91113
I'm pretty sure you know what charcoal is.

Sulfur is also known as brimstone. I'm told pure sulfur is, in fact, odorless. And yet, I'm also told that the sulfur compounds in onions are what irritate the eye when you cut into it.

Potassium nitrate: No clue

>>91112
1. Get a bunch of small, breakable containers (preferably glass, but we don't exactly have a glass-blower amongst us, and it could get costly if we choose to buy them).

2. Divide each container in half, with a small divider between each half, also made using the containers' breakable material.

3. Pour half of the ingredients for Grek's Brew into each side. Seal container.

4. Use containers on the tips of arrows/crossbow bolts, as sling bullets, etc.

That should tide us over until we can blow shit up.

Theta][Sigma 2009/12/13(Sun)14:46 No. 91131 ID: f21281
File 126074441394.jpg - (206.18KB , 800x583 , potassium_nitrate.jpg )

Potassium Nitrate

Theta][Sigma 2009/12/13(Sun)14:47 No. 91132 ID: f21281
File 126074442052.jpg - (30.30KB , 500x376 , charcoal.jpg )

Charcoal

Theta][Sigma 2009/12/13(Sun)14:47 No. 91133 ID: f21281
File 12607444264.jpg - (35.62KB , 450x384 , sulfur1.jpg )

Sulfur

Suggestion 2009/12/13(Sun)14:48 No. 91138 ID: 445c48
File 126074453966.png - (554.55KB , 440x528 , Burning-sulfur.png )

>>91127
In addition, Sulfur's yellow. Sulfur melts to a blood-red liquid. When burned, it emits a blue flame.

Potassium Nitrate also goes by saltpetre, if that term's any more familiar to you .

To get it, it might take a bit. You could make a Niter-bed. Niter-beds were prepared by mixing manure with either mortar or wood ashes, common earth and organic materials such as straw to give porosity to a compost pile typically 1.5 meters high by 2 meters wide by 5 meters long. The heap was usually under a cover from the rain, kept moist with urine, turned often to accelerate the decomposition and leached with water after approximately one year. The liquid containing various nitrates was then converted with wood ashes to potassium nitrate, crystallized and refined for use in gunpowder.

Urine has also been used in the manufacture of saltpetre for gunpowder. In this process, stale urine placed in a container of straw hay is allowed to sour for many months, after which water is used to wash the resulting chemical salts from the straw. The process is completed by filtering the liquid through wood ashes and air-drying in the sun.

Potassium nitrate could also be harvested from accumulations of bat guano in caves.

Grek 2009/12/13(Sun)14:55 No. 91143 ID: fb5d8e
File 126074493039.png - (74.57KB , 700x700 , c11-25.png )

..Th'feck ye think ye are? C'min' in 'ere, sayin' meh invention's been done b'fore 'n tryin' te sell me yer feckin' "better" recipes with yer feckin' fictionel ingred'ents.
Feck th'feck off.

Eh can't und'rstand how th'others cen stend yeh.

Suggestion 2009/12/13(Sun)14:56 No. 91146 ID: 964033
File 126074501260.jpg - (16.47KB , 364x318 , dr_rockso.jpg )

YOU KNOW JUST WHAT THIS MIXTURE NEEDS?

'CAUSE IIIIIIIIIIIII KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!

Pour stuff into other stuff.

Well fine, screw off then.

Here we are, trying to give you something which could change the face of modern warfare, and you spit in our face for it.

Man, and this would have scored major points with Black Fang too. You show him the new stuff, and he goes "HOLY FUCK GREK THAT SHIT IS AWESOME OH MY GOD I WANT TO BANG YOU." And then you're all "Feck yeah, I'm awesome. Now get me some booze, bitch." And then he does it. Because you're awesome.

YOU FOOL! YOU'VE DESTROYED THE DARK LORD'S POWER!

... while we wait for another to get us...
we can check ridder... right? cause we ARE his mind...

You didn't tell us what color you are!

>>91143
BAAAWWWWWWWLLLLLZZZ IT BURRRRRRNNNS WHHHYYYYYYYY????

You can't just destroy the "boss"'s property like that miss.

Fuck it, we're firing her first thing we get back to Ridder. Uncooperative bitch.

>>91150
IT BURNS IT BUUUUUUURRRRNNNNSSSS!!
WHAT A WORLD!!!

Hahaha
Smart girl! |D

Way to go, thoughts. Way to go. We suck.

We should have told her to put some ice under a bucket of Grek's Bew.

We're magic. We haven't melted yet...
We aren't gonna melt.

It's a matter of waiting for the flame to burn out.

>>91150

WWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Well, it has been getting colder lately.

WE suck? We're the ones giving them advice, without us they'd be lost.

>>91150
Fools, we can only be destroyed in the fires of the volcano that we were forged in.

>>91203
We started using 'MODERN CHEMISTRY TERMS" a 14th century Scholar is 'our' world wouldn't recognize, especially not some impatient goblin inventor who don't got time for no jibbajabba!

Then we pressed the point too far with her, we were too eager to exploit our OOC knowledge, we essentially tried to deluge her in alien data. Its a wonder she didn't go mad or something.

I personally assumed she would just blow us off for being crazy, like everyone else has.

>>91209
So... the next time (if there is one) we should learn terms used in this... mythos?

>>91218
EXACTLY.

What everyone seems to have forgotten is that we are Ridder's Mind, not the Orb of Infinite Psyche. Knowledge and talk like what we just tried is only going to end poorly for all involved, because either Ridder will sound crazy, or we'll get ignored entirely.

>>91220
To be fair this is something applicable to the Orb as well. We must understand the limitations and mindsets of our hosts. Our job is not to turn everyone we meet into a babbling lunatic by flooding their senses with all we know.

God knows we tell Muschio little enough as it is and our prolonged contact with him is probably taking it toll. We must be gentler, it is best if we let our hosts think it "was their idea all along." Muschio is so easy because he can't tell us from himself.

Normal, sane people however, will buck our influence if we put on the spurs and the lash too quick and hard. People don't like others telling them what to do, they like to think they are in control. Let them but guide them with subtly, grinning like fools all the way.

>>91233
aww shit. Questing just became much harder

>>91233
>Our job is not to turn everyone we meet into a babbling lunatic

That's right! Our job is to get everyone laid.

>>91233

God damnit. There need to be a few more people with your mindset.

Just a few. Along with those that are willing to ask questions, get messy, and break things to learn important and valuable lessons.

...okay, I'll settle for one or two? Can we stretch to three voices like that distributed amongst us?

... I realized something.
We coulda just asked her to try experimenting.
And get her to start saving her urine (to obtain saltpeter)

It might be best to keep in mind that this is not earth. Grek may be using compounds exclusive to this world.

Any ingredients we can't make by easy-to-confirm processes will be impossible to replicate in a world where nothing is called the same and may not even look the same or be as common as it is in our world.

Stop trying to cheat some extra technology in and just work with what we've got.

I really hope this ring is made of titanium or something.

After somebody retrieves ous out of that bowl (given that the ring doesn't become a horrible blob of useless molten scrapmetal), our first action should be apologizing to Grek for being smartasses.
Seriously, she's the one with knowledge about the local chemistry there, not us.

Hey, I just had a BRILLIANT IDEA.

If Grek's Mix is indeed hot enough to melt us down, and it doesn't destroy the magic linking the two rings, we could totally give a piece to everyone!

Also check to see that the linkage doesn't send things other than thoughts through and hope Ridder hasn't just lost a finger.

>>91320
Yes, a... finger.

Ridder 2009/12/14(Mon)11:46 No. 91493 ID: fb5d8e
File 12608199979.png - (171.00KB , 700x700 , c11-27.png )

"Oh, Everdew~ Everdew~ We found an Elvenfriend~"
"Oh my goodness~ An Elvenfriend~ It has been so long~ I am Everdew, one of the High Druids. What is your name, beloved visitor? Do you have a penis or vagina?"
"Teehee! Oh Everdew~ What he means to ask is if you are anatomically compatible with us~"
"Oh~ Was that too crass? I'm sorry~ You see, tonight we are having a Seed Festival~ All the participants must be able to give or recieve the seed of life~ As the Elvenfriend, you must certainly be the guest of honor~"

>>91493
You're going to get loved tenderly.

>>91493

Don't panic, Chief. You got this. Partaking in their customs will most likely make them feel more inclined to ally with you.

>>91497

Also tell them that you are, in fact, anatomically compatible with them.

>>91493
"Sure, why not."

"Pardon me fine elves, but as my friends' lives are under a constant threat as we speak, I'm unable to attend your festival. When will you be organizing the next one?"
"...Instead, I would appreciate if you could assist me through your magnificient forest."

>>91493
Tell them that your time is short and you cannot stay for the Festival.

If that doesn't work... claim cultural differences?

>>91493
Tell them you're a flaming homosexual and can't give the seed of life to a woman. This should get you off scot free!

>>91493
I'm starting to see why Muschio hates these woods so much.

>>91503
These are elves, man. I think flaming homosexuals are required to keep their species going.

Ridder, time to bail! Not partaking in their customs would insult them, yes, but it's best to stay out of this.

Tell them you're waiting on your one true love, but are willing to help out if you can.

Elves are suckers for that sorta thing.

Can't bail. These guys live right next door- there will be problems if we don't keep them happy. Diplomance them, Ridder, and if it comes to that then lie back and think of your comrades. Their safety may be in your hands.

Ridder 2009/12/14(Mon)12:13 No. 91519 ID: fb5d8e
File 126082159141.png - (134.94KB , 700x700 , c11-28.png )

"I apologize, your excellence, but I am in a hurry. I am here to discuss an alliance with you and your people to defeat a great evil that is growing as we speak."
"..Oh, really? Because that doesn't sound like something an Elvenfriend would want~"

>>91519
Oh.
Careful Ridder, your in hostile territory here. You might want to expedite as soon as possible.

>>91519

Tell him you're worried about the trees. Something about the evil guys deforesting the area to make their war machines if they invade, or some shit like that.

Dude, you're going to get laid in an orgy of those beautiful elves. WHy would you refuse?

>>91519
Tell them there may have been a misunderstanding. The two elves that led you here thought you could see them before they revealed themselves, but the fact is you called out by instinct. Tell them you will leave if that is what they want.

>>91519
Rider, GTFO, NOW! Elves be crazzzyyy.

>>91519
Tell them that you would rather not fight against a great evil but if you don't, people of all kinds may not be able to go about their daily lives (or even such festivals) as they do now.

Ridder tell them you can't fuck anyone because you can't control yourself. You've literally fucked people to death before.

Ridder 2009/12/14(Mon)12:39 No. 91547 ID: fb5d8e
File 126082316828.png - (174.02KB , 700x700 , c11-30.png )

Yes.. Honesty is always the best route.

"There seems to have been a misunderstanding. I was not able to see the elves, but they came to me when I called out simply hoping for a response."
"..Hmmm.. I am very disappointed. Off to the Trollbarrows, you two."
"Y-yes, Everdew.."
"It should have been rather obvious with all that.. metal you are wearing.. Well now, I appreciate your honesty, stranger, so I won't send you to the Trollbarrows too."
"Your excellence, I do not want to fight evil, but if it is not stopped, then they may also destroy this forest and put an end to the Seed Festival."
"I assure you, outlander, we are perfectly safe here. We have given up interaction with the outside world long ago. Now please be quiet while I figure out what to do with you."

>>91547
Be quiet as the elf asks, for a few moments. Then ask what the Trollbarrows are.

Yes, coming here in full plate probably wasn't a good idea. Elves tend to not like metal, for some reason. Possibly because trees and charcoal are used in the production of it, or because they're dirty jobless hippies.

>>91552
We're not in full plate, our entire bottom half is easily accessible.
Which is the half the elves care about.

Also, if you don't want to fuck anyone, go get an acorn? That... might work.

What kinda elves ARE these?

They can't be the same kind of elves that once inhabited that base of Ridder's.

Hell the crazy dead guy had metal wedding rings.

These be wood elves, the backwards, lotus eating inbred cousins of High Elves. They play Dueling Harps, while chasing down fresh victims.

Say you would be happy to take part in their festival but you are already taken, and show them your wedding ring.

>>91563
It may be a bad idea to show them the magical elf ring we found. Might get you in trouble.

Ridder 2009/12/14(Mon)13:10 No. 91579 ID: fb5d8e
File 126082500784.png - (133.23KB , 700x700 , c11-31.png )

I remain silent for several minutes.. or so I think. The elf remains completely still, while it feels like the forest is growing around me. My sense of time is getting warped.
I finally break the silence.

"Forgive me, your excellence, but may I ask you a few questions about your people?"
"Weeell, alright~ You were honest to me too~"
"Thank you. What are the Trollbarrows?"
"They are the caves below our beautiful trees. It is dark and damp, where moss grows and water flows. The stream running through it sustains our homes, but it certainly is not a pleasant place to be, away from sunlight and fresh air.."
"Why do you dislike metal?"
"The ore does not grow: It does not live or die. It is simply there in cold rock, and has to be shaped with unnatural fires. Simply put, metal does not keep to the circle of life."
"We established our base in the ruins of an elven mansion. The previous inhabitants seemed much less enlightened than you are."
"Tis' but a tragic remnant of our past, when we thought we could play gods and create our own world. I am proud to see I and the other High Druids were able to show elven kind the true meaning of life. There are some troubled youth that studies our rightly lost ways, but we let them be. They'll grow over it.
Was that all?"

Say Nothing Seriously, liste to the shirtless guy and wait for him to figure out what to do with us. I do not, you know, wanna get sent to the trolls.

Also, I think the other ring got melted. Just sayin'.

>>91579
>sense of time getting warped
>in a fey place

WOAH THERE RIDDER, I do believe that could be an issue. Find some method of keeping track of time, even if it is tapping your foot on the ground, and counting the taps, just do SOMETHING. Losing sense of time around magical beings is rarely a good thing.

>>91579
Hey, if there are some elves that study the 'lost ways', maybe we could ask them about the mechanisms in the ruins. Oh, wasn't there a book or something with elven text on it we picked up? Ask if they can translate it for you.

Ask them if they know about any woman that was supposed to marry a noble elf a long time ago before his manor fell to ruin. Even a legend or something will help. He was a harp player.

>>91583
Yeah, I believe the traditional duration of these visits is 100 years? It might be best to talk to him, to explain that you need to go but that you have no plans of abandoning your base of operations, which is nearby. If they need to contact you, they can do so there.

>>91579
Erh, ever heard the tale of a Lady Opalteare and Lord Sylverleeve?

Ridder 2009/12/14(Mon)13:24 No. 91592 ID: fb5d8e
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I don't have the mental power to count the tapping of my foot to high numbers, let alone do it while talking to someone. There does not seem to be any obvious way to keep track of time.

"Is there any way for me to meet one of said troubled youth?"
"Oh~ Now there's a good idea~ Mad Petal won't be coming to the Seed Festival so she can look over you while I figure out what to do with you. She's getting a little old for studying the past all the time anyway."

>>91592
This is a stroke of luck, Ridder! You get to both hang out with a (presumably) more normal elf, and avoid the Seed Festival! Maybe you could even persuade her to help out with the fight.

>>91598

Plus maybe you can bone her.

Ridder 2009/12/14(Mon)13:51 No. 91611 ID: fb5d8e
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I hope she will be normal. Though she may not have the same ideals as these elves, the name 'Mad' Petal is rather ominous.

I follow Everdew along paths of roots to a door build into the base of a tree. He doesn't seem comfortable getting close to it.

"Oh, Petal~ Petal~?"

A voice sounds through the door.

"Yes, Everdew~?"
"If you come to the Seed Festival tonight you can come live in the treetops again~"
"Oh, thank you, Everdew~"
"But you'll have to leave all that old crap down here~"
"Oh wow, Everdew, you are so generous~ I can't accept such amazing generousity~"
"Oh, you~ Well, if you're not coming to the Seed Festival then I have a handsome guest for you~"
"Do you? Oh my goodness, maybe he can seduce me and change my mind~"
"Not so hasty, Petal~ It's an outlander who needs to be watched while I attend to the festival~ But you can have your own private Seed Festival down here~"
"Oh thank you, Everdew. Thank you so very much."

Everdew gestures me to move forward.

"Well, go pay her a visit. I'll come see you tomorrow. Don't do anything stupid, or it's the Trollbarrows for both of you~"

>>91611
Make sure not to trip and have your dress no longer cover you. That would be horrible.

>>91611
I think you and her are going to get along, Ridder. She doesn't want to go have meaningless sex with tons of people either.

>>91611
Sounds like she has an honest sarcastic streak. Perhaps she will appreciate someone who lacks the subtly and trickery of these other Fae.

However, she may have her own madness to deal with.

>>91611
Wait until he/she is out of earshot, then whisper to the door: "No offense, but goddamn your colleagues are freaky."

>>91611

Watch it. She sounds sarcastic.

I like her already! <3

Ridder, enter house by jumpkicking the door down. IT IS THE ONLY WAY

Politely knock on the door and ask if it is alright to enter.

Ridder 2009/12/14(Mon)14:14 No. 91634 ID: fb5d8e
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I gently knock on the door.

"May I enter?"
"Yes, yes, ofcourse, most honored guest.."

A female elf opens the door.

"I'll be your humblest of hosts tonigh-- ..Is that a real metal breastplate?"

>>91634
"Um... yes?"

>>91634
AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLY IMPRESSIVE REAL THING I HAVE ON ME

>>91634
Tell her the truth, Ridder.
Yes, it is - it used to belong to a gnoll mercenary until your own gnoll companion brutally slew her, and your goblin tinkerer used SCIENCE to reshape it to fit yourself better.

She'll either be incredibly interested or taken aback, and given how she seems to be the outcast in this society, I'm banking on 'interested'.

>>91634
I think she may have already fallen in love with you.

Oh uh... Introduce yourself. Ridder, knight errant of north yadda yadda you know the drill.

Introduce yourself. Inquire if you may enter. Be very formal, very polite.

Say Yes. Actually, say what >>91637 said.

Did you bring that note from the Bathroom in your base? If so, she might be able to translate it.

>>91634
Show her your sword.

the answer is simple.
"yes"

asking about customs and mentioning our existance might be good. Mainly cause she could shed light (she's an elf) on how we communicate with you.

Ask her about what she's interested in, mayhaps a science or engineering discipline. We would help with our world's science but judging from... past experience... your world doesn't use the same chemical terminology as ours.

>>91666
I don't thing this is a good idea. Look where it got us last time! If we're going to do that, we need to be more subtle.

Ridder 2009/12/14(Mon)15:03 No. 91676 ID: fb5d8e
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"Yes, it is. It used to be from a gnoll mercenary. My alchemist heated it until she was able to change the shape to fit me."
"Wow.."

She continues to stare at it in silence.

"May I come in?"
"Oh yes, sure."

She leads me into her home. A small dusty room, packed to the ceiling with broken and useless curiosities, all in the style of the mansion I live in now.
She pushes some things aside to make a bit more room.

"Sorry about the mess. I don't usually get visitors."
"Don't worry. I am Ridder, knight-errant."
"Welcome to my grand castle, Sir Ridder. They call me Mad Petal. Lucky for them, namecalling is all that keeps me from turning their children to steel."
"Would you like me to call you that too?"
"Just Petal will be fine. You don't look like you have children."
"It's an honor, Petal."
"You make me blush, sir knight. What are you doing in our fancy forest of fabulousness?"
"I came here to find allies in my fight against a great evil growing in the east. My base of operations is in an old elven ruin in the east edge of this forest, so I thought it would be appropriate to introduce myself here first."
"And Everdew send with you a thousand strong men and women, I'm sure."
"Ofcourse."
"..Could you tell me about the mansion you reside in?"
"I'm afraid I do not know much about it. The ghost of a lord Sylverleeve was awaiting the arrival of lady Opelteare, but it vanished in sunlight. There are several writings in Elven, which I can not read."
"Ah.. Just as uninteresting as the High Druids make it out to be, I see. If only I could get to read those things.."
"You are interested in the old Elven ways?"
"No, I'm just a rebel going against the established authority~ It has nothing to do with the incredibly advanced technology and art, gruesome as it may be at times."
"I see. And metal is a particular passion?"
"A lot of the old technology revolves around metal. It just can't be replicated with wood. I tried to work with some of the metal pieces I found, but I couldn't make a fire hot enough."

Hmm. If only we knew someone who had a portable method for creating fire hot enough to melt metal. Alas.

>>91676
Our Goblin Alchemist has been learning to make metal quite hot indeed. We would know.

>>91676
How convenient, we just so happen to have an alchemist who heated up this armor to make it fit. We could always use more allies.

I thought the Boss south and west of where you are?

To make something hot enough, get ground Bluestone and Faysalt, with some boiled down Grebbletar on one side. On the other side, mix ground Hailbark and Torgans Wives, and boiled in some more Grebbletar. Then pour them together, give 'em a bit.