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892578 No. 892578 ID: bfb318

Previous Threads/Wiki: http://tgchan.org/wiki/Frillsby_and_Gallsby
Quest may be NSFW at times. [Warnings: Gays, Smash Bros, Magic, Nudity, Dangeresque Situations]

Gallsby is the best damn cop on the force.
He is also the only damn cop on the force, because Frillsby is taking the day off to go on a date.

Chapter 7
Expand all images
No. 892579 ID: bfb318
File 153150406254.png - (157.47KB , 800x800 , 477.png )

>"I can't believe you're cheating on me Frillsby."
"And I can't believe you, in general."
>"Wow. With a girl, too!
"Gallsby you know full well this isn't going to go anywhere far. But I have to take it seriously to... keep the peace? I'm a little fuzzy on the reasons why I'm doing this, but - "
>"No Frillsby I'm a little fuzzy."
"Okay I walked right into that but what do you think of this formal attire I found?"
>"Well if you ask me, and you did, I'd say that it looks like a testament to how you'd settle for old worn formal attire sooner than go to the mall to buy clothes!"
"Okay but going shopping for clothes might just be the worst thing eve - Gallsby don't you shake your claws at me I get it!"
>"Hey you could ask Mayor about what she thinks of those clothes."
"Gallsby that seems like a bad thing to do. I can't think of why, but that doesn't mean it's not bad."

The real question here is what I think of these clothes, and if they're adequate for dating, or if Mayor will dumpster me as soon as she sees me.
No. 892581 ID: 86eb65

You look like you are going to a job interview at a fast food restaurant.

So spice it up a bit. You need a black vest, A black mesh shirt, Elton John glasses, Black leather pants, And a cigarette on one of those giant cigarette holders.

Also shove a sock down your pants.
No. 892583 ID: 3b108e

You look like a cashier wannabe. Get some actual clothes.
No. 892586 ID: f3ba9e

You need a tie. Ask Gallsby for help putting it on.
No. 892589 ID: c1c168

Mayor probably won't dumpster you, but she is a Professional Woman and you look like a superdork. You gotta go clothes shopping for sure. Gallsby can attest to the fact that on any good first date, you gotta show off as much package as possible.
No. 892594 ID: 0c3c2c

You look entirely normal and bland. Compared to your regular fashion sense this is sure to be disappointing. Remember that time Gallsby convinced you to wear nothing but belts? Consider some more 'out-there' fashion.
No. 892607 ID: 2b73fd

> "I can't believe you're cheating on me Frillsby."

Gallsby, you love that i'm cheating on you. You've been more excited about this than anyone else, including the two people going on the date!"

He's right though you should get some new clothes. Mayor hardly ever goes on dates, might as well treat her to a real one and not give her even less of a reason to try it again in the future (with or without you).
No. 892633 ID: bb78f2

Gallsby probably wants to watch you fuck the mayor.

I bet you if we went through his search history (if he can even use Google with his claws) we'd see a whole list of gay men boning straight women fetish roleplay porn.

FYI, considering the conversation you had yesterday about Gallsby dating we should probably ask for his eureka moment when he figured out he liked men and MAYBE his first time.

Yeah, ok, for revenge for all his teasing we're finding out who was his first.
No. 892637 ID: f3fe9b

You need a bowtie and less terrible pants
No. 892642 ID: 4f1cbc

>You look like you are going to a job interview at a fast food restaurant.
This is a harsh burn and 100% accurate.

>or if Mayor will dumpster me as soon as she sees me
I don't think Mayor does her own dumpstering. She'll probably delegate it. Get CEO to do it. Or she could just order you to dumpster yourself, since she's your boss.
No. 892739 ID: 1b25fa

it might be a symptom of being a ridiculous fluffmonster with claws for hands, but Gallsby, from everything we've seen, seems to just be down with people having sex. So long as everyones having a good time he seems down with it.

Top class monsterbro.
No. 892782 ID: 7816e7

those clothes are adequate but who ever got anywhere by being adequate? Get yourself a nice blazer and some shades my man
No. 892784 ID: daa216

Maybe add the hipster scarf you have on in the title card.
No. 892788 ID: ee2d6e

Untuck your shirt, geez. Without a lounge jacket it makes you look like a doof. Or a mormon.

And if you want to go full hipster, just wrap a keffiyeh around your neck.
No. 892789 ID: bb78f2

Those are very skinny jeans Frillsby
If you're not careful your bulge will show
Just go RIGHT down the pantleg.
No. 892836 ID: eeb7d9

Hmmm maybe somthing more loose? Those seem to tight. And you bandana? Not goign to wear that?
No. 892841 ID: 91ee5f

You look like you’re going to a job interview to ask Mayor to let you be her secretary.
No. 892866 ID: bfb318
File 153161176858.png - (127.32KB , 800x800 , 478.png )

>"Well you know what she'd say she'd probably say that you look like you're on your way to a job interview at a fast food restaurant, applying for the wannabe cashier job!"
"Are you sure you're not just saying that?"
>"I'm saying it too! The whole world would tell you that! You're going on a date with Mayor, not be her secretary."
"Hm... okay yeah maybe I got this set of clothes when I applied for a fast food restaurant."
>"Well past-Frillsby did a great job looking the part. But you've gotta look great for the mayor, where's all that fashion sense you usually have?"
"Out the window when I needed it most. Gallsby I gotta ask why're you so excited? You're more excited than anyone about this date, and to be honest that's a weird thing to be excited about."
>"What's weird about wanting my bud to have a good time and do this thing right?"
"Okay when you spin it right it sounds right, go figure."

Most of my clothes are either too plain or too spicy. I've got a bad lack of alternative tastes.

>"Besides I like seeing people do things for the first time."
"Which makes me want to ask you, how'd you realize you swung for the same team?"
>"'cause the first thing I did when I went into the strip club was yell 'Where's the dick at!'"
"Why were you in a strip club?"
>"I can't justify everything I do okay!"
"I believe it."
No. 892867 ID: bfb318
File 153161178087.png - (111.54KB , 800x800 , 479.png )

"Okay I thought this was too formal about how's this?"
>"I know I'd fuck you."
"Okay but... would you fuck me while I'm in these clothes?"
>"No Frillsby you're going on a date you can't just go with sexed clothing!"
"Gallsby answer the question like how I meant the question!"
>"Well understand my answer like how I meant my answer!"
No. 892868 ID: bfb318
File 153161179193.png - (113.10KB , 800x800 , 480.png )

"I'm at a loss, so I'm going to try putting on my scarf. As much as I like this scarf, is this the scarf that works with everything?"
>"Hold on put on some shades."
"Shades? Frillsby there is at least a 95% chance this date is going to be indoors."
>"Frillsby I'm Gallsby!"
"That's what I meant."
"Well I'm not letting the date get ruined because you weren't prepared for the 5%!"
"Fine Gallsby I'll put on shades."

If none of these combinations cut it, then I'm just going to have to take a trip to the mall and get some non-recycled clothes.
No. 892872 ID: 86eb65

Your topside is looking good. But those pants are boring. Unboring your pants. Business slacks are not cutting it.

Also shove a sock in your crotch.
No. 892875 ID: 0c3c2c

Pants are a little dull, but hey. Let's go with this.
No. 892879 ID: ee2d6e

Lose the belt and get a looser, slightly longer, and possibly more colourful shirt to have under the jacket and it could work.
No. 892910 ID: b151ce

This is good, outrageous pants would also be acceptable.
No. 892925 ID: 15a025

You look styling Frillsby.
No. 892927 ID: f3fe9b

Ditch the accessories, including the belt. only wear the scarf if you'll also have a wool hat and round-lensed sunglasses.
No. 892956 ID: 214cda

The scarf is what identifies him to other ninjas.
No. 892995 ID: 824ac6

wear those boyshorts you had in thread one, or at the very least add the drapey belt thing
No. 892996 ID: 10c408

Frillsby, are you getting your name confused with gallsby? pretty sure you are the one without giant monster claw mitts.

anyways.. the sunglasses make you look rad as fuck with those clothes. And you don't have to wear them indoors, just make them your "I'm so cool looking" intro.
No. 893011 ID: eeb7d9

Personally i like it.
It wouldn't hurt to take the glasses with you.
No. 893014 ID: 4f1cbc

Scarf is good. Shades will have to comes off at some point, like 43% of dates is looking people in the eyes. Also if this date is in the evening you'll just look like a jackass wearing sunglasses at night.
No. 893379 ID: bfb318
File 153185260444.png - (138.75KB , 800x800 , 481.png )

"Hey what about those boyshorts?"
>"That's the spicy clothing Gallsby!"
"Yeah so?"
>"This isn't a spicy date!"
"Not with that attitude..."

I pocket the sunglasses in case they're relevant. I also lose the belt and put on a looser shirt. The pants I have are either wild or not wild, there's no inbetween. And this is Mayor, who I doubt is ready for pant related power plays. I'll also leave the scarf off for now, but as soon as the slighest gust of wind is detected, or the temperature drops by 2 degrees, on it goes.

"I think I'm ready."
>"Well if you say you are."
>"Goodbye Frillsby it was nice knowing you."
"I'm... I'm going to come back from this, Gallsby."
>"Yeah I'm just saying it was nice knowing you!"
"I'm leaving."
No. 893380 ID: bfb318
File 153185261257.png - (182.35KB , 800x800 , 482.png )

Mayor must have seen my coming up the walkway to the front door, as she comes out right before I'm about to knock.

"Hey, Mayor, you look..."

I trail off.

She looks at me, then studies my clothes.
No. 893381 ID: bfb318
File 153185262146.png - (137.67KB , 800x800 , 483.png )

Then she turns around and walks back in, shutting the front door behind her.

I hear a faucet running, and a few rapid thumps.

Within a minute, I hear the floor creaking near the door as she comes back.
No. 893382 ID: bfb318
File 153185264746.png - (189.41KB , 800x800 , 484.png )

She opens the door again. I try again.

"Hey, Mayor, you look nice."
>"Hello, Frillsby, good afternoon and thank you. You look better."
"Thanks I tried."
>"I can tell. So what are we doing? Assuming much. A date doesn't need to be long if you don't want it to, and I know you were somewhat pressured into doing this."
No. 893383 ID: ee2d6e

Actually one minute? Either we've found Mayor's magic power, or it's time to actually be impressed. That's a legendary level of going from dead to bombshell.
Anyway, you should say that even if you were pressured into this it shouldn't mean that you can't enjoy yourselves. There an arcade in town or something? Ask her if there's something she'd like to do before going home to smash.
No. 893384 ID: 0c3c2c

To the par- Wait, the park was destroyed in the war. Okay, to the road into town next to the bombed out wastela-

Okay so, find a green area with chairs. Maybe a nicer restaurant than average.
No. 893390 ID: 86eb65

Well we can go to one of the local attractions.

1. The tar pit.
2. The still active bomb in the crater next to the middle school. (Buy a t-shirt to prove you survived!)
3. Pinball museum that is probably a front for something.
4. Wet and wild Randy's, Wet and Wild, Wet and Wild park.
5. That cafe the sewer mutants run down in the sewers that somehow has 3 Michelin stars.
6. The blimp park.
7. The old observatory run by that mad scientist.
8. The zombie mall.
9. Applebee's. (but its actually good so very suspicious)
10. The Dorb commemorative suicide forest.
No. 893391 ID: 1fbbcc

If she'd prefer to wear something more comfortable you could change clothes. Like... just take off the shirt and only wear the jacket with a bare chest? Something like that? I mean she's the Mayor she has to wear nice clothes all the time. Well, she went to the trouble of that quick change, so maybe better to not bring it up. The... déshabillé version was cute as well, though, in a different way. Seems kind of peculiar in retrospect, wasn't she sleeping in bed with a full suit on the last time you came here?

Anyway didn't you agree yesterday that part of your date would be training Villi at magic? Aside from that go eat somewhere niceish. Randy's.

Probably you should do a third thing as well besides eat and train Villi, what Ceo wanted was for her sister to start developing personal relationships of any sort more than just go on a date, so... go somewhere you might meet more people to have fun with? Maybe some sort of 2v2 casual sports thing? Look go eat first and while you're eating you can ask more about her interests. Maybe she'll turn out to be into motorcycles or something and you guys can go drink with some bikers.

You have bikers in this town, right?
No. 893397 ID: 91ee5f

Let’s go with the classic “breakfast/lunch/dinner and a movie”!
No. 893404 ID: 7fad5d

She did look nice before she changed, in a very Mayor way. Maybe an aquarium or a hike, those both involve looking at animals plus a hike gets you away from other people and work.
No. 893405 ID: 214cda

They say a persons eyes dilate when they're looking at something they like, and gosh did her eyes certainly get big.
No. 893409 ID: bb78f2

I think we can say we know this woman well enough
The thing she wants more than anything else is coffee.

Lets go to a coffee shop. The best option for a casual, relaxed date where anyone can leave and stop the date at any time with minimal waste of money and time.
No. 893418 ID: 91ee5f

Her eyes always look like that.
No. 893421 ID: 4f1cbc

Could Mayor's magic power be speed dressing?! We'll never know because Frillsby won't get to touch her while she's getting dressed to see if that makes her slower.

>what do
Let's find someplace nice to eat lunch that's not the bagel shop.
No. 893440 ID: daa216

Should offer a wild day of napping around the best parts of town.
No. 893475 ID: eeb7d9

Nah i am actually eager about this, in a good way. I haven't had a date with a girl before, so i am o curious of what will happen. Also kind of nervous.
No. 893943 ID: 15a025

This sounds like a good start. Fill the Mayor up on some coffee to help wake her up a little more.
No. 894127 ID: bfb318
File 153239377074.png - (103.30KB , 800x800 , 485.png )

>You have bikers in this town, right?
We've had bikers passing through this town, and a few people who own motorcycles, but there's no biker dive bar right in the middle of Dorb.

>"Is speed dressing your magic talent?"
"No, that's my regular talent."
"Huh. Well, you know me, I'm all casual. You didn't need to dress up, you looked nice regardless."
>"I looked like a wreck, but if it's fine with you, I'll not bother with upkeep and look like a wreck by the end."
"You do you, Mayor. We can go around napping in the best places in town if you like."
>"You're dressed to do it right, so I'll only sleep when appropriate."
"Then I'm going to make the wild assumption that you like coffee, so how about a coffee shop?"
>"So, Villi's?"
"There's gotta be a date-ier place."
>"Ceo's probably there anyway. And we can train Villi together some other time, date or not. For now, a coffee shop reminds me of a legend about an Applebee's at the side of the freeway, south of here."
"I'm coming clean and admitting I don't know much about dates, but my virtual zero experience tells me that searching for a legendary Applebee's sounds like it can't be wrong."
>"Drive us."
No. 894128 ID: bfb318
File 153239378310.png - (159.59KB , 800x800 , 486.png )

There's only one major freeway that goes south. Mayor and I drive down it, she apologizes in advance and falls asleep for most of it.

She ends up sleeping on my leg. I'm 200% sure this is illegal as heck, but I'm 300% sure we're out of my jurisdiction by now.

She wakes up in time once, an hour later, I slow down and pull into the Applebee parking lot. Either it's the Applebee's, or it's going to be disappointment.
No. 894129 ID: bfb318
File 153239379129.png - (123.23KB , 900x600 , 487.png )

It's modestly busy, so we sit down and have our drink order taken right away. It doesn't look much different than any other restaurant, but the free appetizer bread is good.

"I think there's an arcade another hour south, too, if you're into those at all."
>"The one adjacent to the old pinball museum?"
>"Yeah let's do that after."

And now the dreaded pause in conversation is taking place, made only slightly less awkward by her munching on bread. Once she looks like she's about to finish a piece, I take one too and start munching on it.
No. 894130 ID: 86eb65

So whats your magic power? Sleep based I guess?
No. 894132 ID: 1fbbcc

Talk about something! Ask her if she and Ceo grew up in Dorb. Any interesting story to how she became Mayor? The job, not her name.

Or I don't know think of interesting/amusing stories from your police work to tell her. She's the Mayor so she's allowed to know stuff about legal proceedings in her town that it wouldn't be proper to discuss with other people.
No. 894134 ID: 7fad5d

ask what she thinks of smash bros this is vital
No. 894135 ID: eeb7d9

This is indeed a must do.
No. 894137 ID: 4f1cbc

>but if it's fine with you, I'll not bother with upkeep and look like a wreck by the end.

Super lewd.

Bond by swapping embarrassing stories about Frillsby and CEO.
No. 894138 ID: 0c3c2c

Ask her if she has a cool magic power, and if so what it is.

Ask what her mom was like, and if she was named Mom or Legatus Imperator or something like that.
No. 894139 ID: 91ee5f

What kinda restaurant gives you appetizers but doesn’t give you your drinks? You’re supposed to have both appetizers and your drinks while waiting for your food!

>And now the dreaded pause in conversation is taking place
Oh no! Not the dreaded pause in conversation! It’s so awkward!

Quickly, grab a knife and kill the awkwardness by cutting the tension!

And by “knife” I mean a conversation topic! Ask her if she has a favorite tv show or a favorite book series or something!

>Once she looks like she's about to finish a piece, I take one too and start munching on it.
And both of you stop doing that! You guys are gonna fill up on bread and not eat your food when it gets here!

If she ends up not caring for Smash, don’t let that ruin this date for you!
No. 894140 ID: 91ee5f

You meant Gallsby and CEO, right?
No. 894141 ID: 4f1cbc

No. 894149 ID: bddb0f

Possible Conversation topics!

>Recent events

"Yesterday was fun, by the way. Thank you for showing up and helping with the cards. Even if this date goes nowhere, I'd like it if we could do stuff like that again if you're interested. Irredeemable nerd that I am."

>Gaming Interests

"What kind of electronic games do you play, if any? Me and Gallsby are obviously way into the Smash Bros, but if I were to hazard a guess, I imagine you could be interested in turn-based strategy games? Stuff you can leave and come back to at will, at any rate. Or am I off the mark?"

>Stories About Family And Friends

"So, if Ceo is the yang to your yin, does she end up in as many weird or compromising situations as Gallsby does for me? At one point I felt the need to get custom-made a 'shame ladder' for him. Too many rooftop escapades and fire department calls."

>Mayor Dating Specific Topics

"Practically speaking, what do you think of this style of road date? Will the 'drive somewhere, do something for a short while' work out fine for you? Since you both get to sleep and do something during the same period? For longer stops we can always try out buying you a couple of energy drinks."

"I know this is throwing the date ball back into your court, but is there anything in the nearby area that interests you or places you'd like to have visited? I don't mind being your chaffeur for today and taking you pretty much anywhere in range. I can't say I remember any scenic vistas or interesting tourist attractions myself, though."
No. 894154 ID: daa216

Ask her how she enjoyed your lap.
No. 894185 ID: 214cda

Don't fill up on bread.
Ask her about her magic power.
Swap Ceo and Gallsby stories.
No. 894188 ID: 02a0f7

Tell a gallsby story. Then tell a frillsby story. Then tell a gallsby frillsby story.
No. 894396 ID: da1652

"ever get the feeling magic is just the universe giving us plenty of rope to hang ourselves with?"
No. 894703 ID: 15a025

Have you ever been to the pinball museum before? Any crazy high score stories?
No. 899771 ID: bfb318
File 153574886676.png - (118.36KB , 800x800 , 488.png )

The waiter comes by to drop off our drinks. I stop munching on bread just so that I'll still have room later to buy time for conversation topics.

"Have you been to the pinball museum?"
>"Not personally, but I've heard of it, as well as someone who never leaves."
"Well as a person who plays video games, my mouth is forced to ask you if you do the same."
>"Not often."
"And if you do play a game, is it smash bros?"
>"Yes, but I'm what most players would call a punching bag."
"What about strategy or base building games?"
>"Yeah. Those turned me into my sister, so I stopped for my health. We'll see how good we are at the arcade."
"There's a whole world of date activity. Like driving, where you can sleep on my lap some more."
>"You do have a nice sleeping lap."
"I take pride in the sleepability of my lap. Does touching me and my anti-magic self mess you up at all?"
>"If anything it helps. Don't ask me what my magic is."
"It's the biggest question of all."
>"And it's the biggest secret."
"Alright, then I get to ask another question. Was your mother's name 'mom'?"
>"That's what Ceo and I always called her, so... yes."
"How'd you become Mayor?"
>"I played arbitrator for a few people in town, then I noticed there was no one in the town hall. So I moved in and called myself the mayor. What made you become a police officer?"
"Gallsby and I were born this way."
>"Born... as a police officer way. About expected."

She glares at her menu, then lets out the biggest yawn I've seen in my life, if my life didn't have Gallsby in it. Mayor has both the courtesy and the hands to cover her yawn.

>"I need to stop by that place where you picked up those foreign, probably unsafe energy drinks. Good energy drinks, before I build up a tolerance, helps wake me up for a little while. Nearly illegal and really illegal energy drinks, surprises, and touching you for extended periods are just about the only external things that help wake me up. Anyway, tell me a Gallsby story. A short one."
No. 899772 ID: bfb318
File 153574888072.png - (197.35KB , 900x800 , 489.png )

"Gallsby once got stuck in a tree because he put his claw in a crack or something. We had to call the fire department. Tell me a Ceo story."

She vocally makes thinking noises like 'hmm', 'uhh', and weird half-audible murmurs while I look at the menu and find out why she's glaring at it. Before I ask her all the questions I want to, a waiter comes by.

>"Hi how're you two lovebirds doing? My name is Pine and I'll be your waiter today. Are you all ready to order?"
"I am."
>"Probably." says Mayor. "I'll have pancakes."
>"What kind would you like?"
>"Plain...?" She points to something in the menu.
>"The Stack'em and Pack'em?"
>"Would you like your side to be the Hash Mash Smash or the Flying Hootmeal?"
>"The first one."

Mayor's got an obvious problem with big gimmick menu names.

>"Okay! And you, sir?"

The menu is extensive, and aside from a few items, they all have ridiculous names.
No. 899774 ID: 86eb65

I would like the hamshambler with extra dragon yolks. Easy on the mandrake but with extra flip flops.

Oh and a bucket of charred fingerlings.

And a double gulp chestburster to drink.
No. 899775 ID: 0c3c2c

Bullshit him. Request the Groulandine Adlepate with Moxie and Vim under a Bedsheet with Glass on the side and see if he accepts it as an order. Touch Mayor some more to see if it helps her stay awake.
No. 899777 ID: bb78f2

We'd like him for dinner.
Later though.
Just go for some steak and eggs.
No. 899780 ID: eeb7d9

"I'll have spaguetti with Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch sauce, please."
This is a real thing, almost.
No. 899801 ID: 4f1cbc

>Nearly illegal and really illegal energy drinks, surprises, and touching you for extended periods are just about the only external things that help wake me up.
That was either flirting or confirmation her magic is sleep-related. Or both!

>The menu is extensive, and aside from a few items, they all have ridiculous names.
Just order what you want and let the waiter figure out what silly name that is.
No. 899806 ID: 91ee5f

>Mayor has both the courtesy and the hands to cover her yawn.
You know what they say about big hands, right? ;D

.....wait, that only applies if you’re talking about a man and the size of his dick. Never mind!

>I need to stop by that place where you picked up those foreign, probably unsafe energy drinks.
Looks like you need to make a pit stop at that gas station. You might as well put some gas in your car while you’re there getting energy drinks.

After you order and after Mayor tells you a Ceo story, you should ask Mayor about this “Applebee’s legend” she mentioned and what makes it a legend.
No. 899809 ID: daa216

Tell the waiter "You" before giving your serious order.
No. 899830 ID: ee2d6e

>touching you for extended periods
[Eyebrow-waggling Intensifies]
No. 899832 ID: f3ba9e

Spaghetti on waffles.
No. 899874 ID: 214cda

She plays Smash (doesn't matter if she's not good), thinks your lap is super comfy and touching you literally powers her up. Could you be any more perfect for each other.

Other than the whole being gay (?) and her being a cute girl thing. But this is Dorb. Weirder things are -literally- happening right now.

Some of them are even on this menu! Order the Grilled-Garlic Habadashery with extra cheese.
No. 899885 ID: 0edf1b

yEAh can i get uuuhhhhhhhh

Texasauras steak with.... I'm not saying that out loud. The wedge fries. Yes.
No. 899901 ID: 02a0f7

Order off menu. Spaghetti on waffles. Either that, or just order "food" and see what happens.
No. 900012 ID: 15a025

Spaghetti on waffles, with extra blue berries.
No. 900016 ID: b1b4f3

Get the Framminjammin Flapjacks.
No. 900181 ID: 91ee5f

Order a Coffee Cake as a dessert, so you can split it with Mayor!
No. 900204 ID: bfb318
File 153594935662.png - (170.49KB , 800x800 , 490.png )

>Order a Coffee Cake as a dessert
The thought of ordering dessert right away sounds like the kind of thing monsters and Gallsby would do.

>"... me?"
"Is what I'd say, but that'd be rude, asking someone out while dating another."

Mayor makes some puffy noise.

>"Don't let that stop you." she says.
>"I'm sorry, but we don't do off menu items like me."
"Then I'll have the Texasauras Habadashery with Llanfairwlf.... Lanfawa..."
>"The Llanfairpwllgwyngyll sauce?"
"Yes. With a side of... spaghetti on pancakes."
>"The Wily Whiskers?"

I look at the menu. They have spaghetti on pancakes there.

"Yes. And for a drink, a Double Chestburster under a Bedsheet."

By this point, Mayor's buried her face over her coffee, hiding from the neverending stream of goofy menu items. The waiter leaves, and Mayor lifts her head before immediately lowering it again.

>"I just thought of a Ceo story." says Mayor. "Once upon a time, she crashed my date."
No. 900205 ID: bfb318
File 153594936019.png - (178.38KB , 1000x800 , 491.png )

No. 900207 ID: 86eb65

Listen we both knew this would happen.

The only solution is to reverse gay chicken them. If they see us making out then they will have to as well.

But Gallsby is 237% gay. He will probably explode if he touches a lady. While I am only 128% gay.

(or was it the other way around?)
No. 900208 ID: 465a14

"That's weird, that reminds me of one time Gallsby forgot that real life isn't like a movie and stalking your friends just makes things weird and awkward."
No. 900209 ID: 91ee5f

*frustrated sigh*
“I already know the answer, but humor me when I ask, ‘Is Gallsby with her?’”.

When Mayor tells you yes, ask her if Ceo also brought Villi? Or can Mayor not see him sitting next to Ceo because Ceo’s giant boobs are in the way?

.....let’s just try to ignore them. Ask Mayor about this “Applebee’s legend” she mentioned, what makes it a legend, and what she’s hoping to find at this Applebee’s?
No. 900210 ID: 4f1cbc

Do you think we could have them arrested? I'm half the police force, and you make the rules. Of course, I'd have to get Gallsby to take himself to jail or else I'm ruining the date by running off.
No. 900212 ID: 214cda

I mean, she did say straight-up that she wants proof of it being a real date so just ... be on a date. Have food, have fun, tell stories.

Remember, Gallsby has dated SO many women. Just ask him. He could name so many (anything and everything Gallsby says could be/is bullshit with a 2% chance of being true).
No. 900215 ID: f3ba9e

That can't be Gallsby. His claws would tear that menu to shreds. This is a pair of shapeshifters looking for revenge.
No. 900216 ID: eeb7d9

Really? I wonder how that one ends. Welp, just roll with it Mayor, nothing to do about it. Especially if Gallsby is in that story.
You can still think of a Ceo story, one that would make her blush of embarrassment.
No. 900239 ID: 0c3c2c

Reverse Gay Chicken is the only option. We both need to be as completely straight as possible.
No. 900243 ID: ee2d6e

Yep, reverse gay chicken.
No. 900244 ID: daa216

How has she gotten Gallsby to behave himself for this long? Normally he's already talked about blowjobs at least twenty times.
No. 900246 ID: 3cc68c

You say that as if he probably hasn't been doing that, constantly, while we can't hear him.
No. 900265 ID: bb78f2

Ah, yes, my Frillsbydar is going off.

Ceo better be careful, Frillsby is pretty handsy with his dates.
No. 900291 ID: c1c8ee

You mean Gallsby??

Straight chicken is the only way.
No. 900311 ID: bfb318
File 153601768939.png - (131.07KB , 800x800 , 492.png )

"Do you see Villi with them?"
>"No, just Ceo and Gallsby."
"I don't know how this story ends."
>"We ignored them no matter what."
"Did we act paranoid about them being shapeshifters?"
>"No, because Ceo is sitting down like she wants to stand up in a way that's hard to mimic and describe further. But is there a chance Gallsby...?"
"And Gallsby got kicked out of a dozen restaurants before learning how to hold up a menu like that without tearing it apart."
>"So they came over like weird stalkers that want to make sure we're having a good date and making everything awkward in the process."
"That's exactly what they're doing. Let's ignore the heck out of them. Wait. Maybe we can get it awkward for them."
"Straight chicken."
>"... like gay chicken, except..."
"Straight. You see, Mayor, I'm 128% gay, but Gallsby? He's 237% gay. He probably hasn't even looked at Ceo."
>"You sure?"
"Not even a little."
>"It's risky. For Ceo and I that's pseudo-gay chicken. Ceo would kiss a gay person way before me. Plus, we're at a booth where they can't see us clearly."

Mayor scoots deeper into the bench to make that truer than ever before. Gallsby can be heard talking, but I can't make out the words. Probably something something blowjobs something blowjobs.

>"We'll keep the idea up there as a desperate measure when ignoring them inevitably fails."
"Okay. So I need to know. Why's this Applebee's legendary?"
>"They say the food is good."
"Why do people eat out if good food at a restaurant is legendary?"
>"We'll just have to wait for the food to find out."
"Then let's use that time well. You can still think of a Ceo story, one that would make her blush of embarrassment. And then tell it loudly."
>"Her blushing of embarrassment implies she has any shame. Second off, she'll start telling Gallsby and the rest of the restaurant stories about me that will make me die of embarrassment. Like that time one I was at a restaurant with these stupid names, and I was hungry, so I ordered... forget it."
"Mayor I have to know."
>"... promise you won't laugh."
"You have my most serious of promises."
>"Which is how serious?"
"Graveyard serious."


>"I ordered Dick's Prime Sausage."
No. 900312 ID: bfb318
File 153601770638.png - (115.42KB , 800x800 , 493.png )

I may have promised too much.

>"The description said it was guaranteed to leave one satisfied."
No. 900314 ID: 0c3c2c

Bite the table. Hard. Also, tell her stories of your childhood that aren't horrible.
No. 900316 ID: 86eb65

Man this is turning out to be a great date. Mayor is wonderful!

Well was it up to your exacting standards? That particular cut of finely aged meat?

Or was it to much to get your mouth around?
No. 900317 ID: 470289

Bite your tongue.
No. 900318 ID: a94e23

Quickly! Tell her something stupid you’ve done to balance out the embarasment before it’s too late.
No. 900319 ID: d6b369

Frillsby you are gonna have to knock it out of the park to make up for this breach of trust. Do you have any incredibly embarassing stories to make up for it?
No. 900320 ID: 4f1cbc

Handcuff your mouth shut. It's the only way you'll keep that promise.
No. 900322 ID: 214cda

Pretty sure she knew that was a promise you couldn't keep when she made you make it. She set you up!

I love her.
No. 900323 ID: 3cc68c

I guess that would be quite the mouthful.

I to have a fondness for wieners.

That meat can not be beat.

Did Dick fill you up properly?

Wait is that actually on the menu here? Cause if it is Gallsby already has two of them in his mouth.
No. 900326 ID: 91ee5f

>"So they came over like weird stalkers that want to make sure we're having a good date and making everything awkward in the process."
Inform Mayor that it’s unfortunate that you’re out of your jurisdiction, otherwise you’d arrest them for being stalkers.

Ok, here’s the plan. After you and Mayor are done eating and after you’ve paid for your food, one of you tell one of the employees that it’s Ceo’s birthday and to tell them to make it a big surprise!

Then, when the employees surround Gallsby’s and Ceo’s table to give them a cake, they’ll be trapped at their table and distracted by the employees! That’s when you and Mayor leave and hopefully loose Gallsby and Ceo before they notice that you guys have left!

Make sure you tell Mayor, so that she knows to be ready to run out the door with you!

Quickly! Inflict pain upon yourself to make you want to cry instead of laugh!

Then follow it with an embarrassing story about yourself! in fact, you should tell her that story! You know, the one story that’s so embarrassing, you’ve never told anybody, not even Gallsby!

Have Mayor promise that she won’t tell Gallsby.
No. 900336 ID: e176c9

No. 900339 ID: eeb7d9

>"The description said it was guaranteed to leave one satisfied."
Ok, now she is making it on purpose. The name was hilarious enough, there is no way she is not trying to make you collapse a lung with that last comment.
How did you not see that in the menu? It would have been perfect!
You need to distract yourself with something. Ask Mayor for help, she is literally killing you right now.
No. 900341 ID: d2e2ce

"Did it?"
No. 900371 ID: daa216

bite lip. Dont laugh. Focus on the chicken game...
No. 901024 ID: 15a025

Spin it around and tell her an embarrassing story of your own?
No. 901114 ID: 17c4b9


Time to ignore the heck out of them.

In the janitor's closet.

With some Frillsby's Prime Sausage.

By which I mean dicks. For Mayor.

The ULTIMATE straight chicken.
No. 901442 ID: bfb318
File 153677153495.png - (94.44KB , 800x800 , 494.png )

>Chew tongue
No. 901443 ID: bfb318
File 153677158356.png - (60.89KB , 800x800 , 495.png )

>Bite table
No. 901444 ID: bfb318
File 153677161045.png - (106.36KB , 800x800 , 496.png )

"I'm fine."

That wasn't on this menu. This must have been at a different place with similar naming ideas.

"And? Did Dick fill you up properly?"
>"I don't remember. I just remember everyone watching how I ate it. It doesn't help that instead of chewing on sausages, I liked sucking the flavor out of it first."
No. 901445 ID: bfb318
File 153677163181.png - (112.53KB , 800x800 , 497.png )

>Handcuff face

>Give her Frillsby's Prime Sausage
I'm too straight chicken for that.

Instead, I'll tell her an embarrassing story about myself.

I just have to remember one.
No. 901446 ID: d2e2ce

There's the time you handcuffed your face shut and then tried telling a story. Or the time with the dick-measuring Shrek shapeshifter.
No. 901447 ID: 86eb65

(This one time I was on a fun date with a nice lady and I handcuffed my face shut to not laugh. Turns out I do not have handcuff keys though.)

Tell her the tale about how you found out what your magic power was! How you were in a school play as the charming prince! And you went to pick up the princess in the last act but touching her negated her magic!

Oh that poor girl. What was her magic again? It was so long ago I think it was...

1. Mass dampening. Turns out she was ultra dense. You got squished and they had to call in a crane to get her off you.
2. Magic clothes! The embarrassment!
3. She was a shapeshifter! Turns out the princess was a shark all along!
4. Her power was stage magic! As soon as you turned it off everyone realized how shitty the play had been set up and all the backdrops collapsed!
5. Her magic kept her from transforming into her true horrible form! It took all day to pry her off of the clocktower and you were stuck in her tentacles the whole time. Both of you had to go to therapy!
No. 901448 ID: e176c9

Say part of you is wondering how that works, but it's okay you believe her really.

Tell her about the time you swat team six'd into the wrong building.
No. 901455 ID: eeb7d9

>Or the time with the dick-measuring Shrek shapeshifter.
This one is a thing that happened and it is quite funny.
No. 901500 ID: 0c3c2c

Okay so, tell her about the Blowjob Karma incident. That was actually funny.
No. 901509 ID: 91ee5f

>Mass dampening. Turns out she was ultra dense. You got squished and they had to call in a crane to get her off you.
This sounds like it would be funny.

Also, isn’t that just another way of saying ”she was fat”?
No. 901513 ID: 214cda

She knows exactly what she's doing.
No. 901555 ID: afdebc

>Instead, I'll tell her an embarrassing story about myself.
Like the time you ended up painted naked as a statue in public? Or the time you accepted a straight chicken date? Oh wait she was there for both of those.

How about the time Gallsby tricked you into coaching little league.
No. 901558 ID: 17c4b9


Seconding this. See if you can't order some bread in which to recreate the chart, too.
No. 901960 ID: bfb318
File 153713451126.png - (168.66KB , 800x800 , 498.png )

"I'd tell you all about the times of shame, but you were there for a couple."
>"Then tell me about the runner ups I wasn't around for."
"Long long ago, I played the prince in a play, and a classmate the princess. I had to straight pick her up at the finale. As it turns out, she had magic to control her density, and when it got switched off, she was at maximum dense. She managed to keep herself in check just so that when she became maximum, she was on top of me. I nearly died that day but more importantly the play was ruined. The whole cast tried to pick her up, then the firefighters and police came, then a crane was brought out to pick her up."
>"Is there video?"
"Not if there's anything right in this world."

I also weave her the tale of the shapeshifter and the blowjob karma.
No. 901961 ID: bfb318
File 153713452930.png - (173.48KB , 900x800 , 499.png )

Then the food comes.

>"The Stack'em and Pack'em?"
>".... yes. Here."
>"Then for you, sir, the Texasaurus Habadashery."
"Thank you."
No. 901962 ID: bfb318
File 153713454831.png - (121.82KB , 800x800 , 500.png )

For maximum food efficiency, we keep ourselves more or less silent. The waiter comes back when we're finishing.

>"And for the both of you, the Couple's Tower."

He plops a giant cylinder of ice cream between us.

>"We didn't..." Mayor starts, then stops her sentence after thinking she's said enough.
>"Ah, the couple over there has sent it."
>"She, or they, shouldn't have."
>"We can send it back if you like, but it is already paid for."
>"No, I mean it should be us sending them things."
>"Would you like to?"
>"Maybe. The girl? It's her birthday."
>"Oh, really?"

The waiter's face get some sinister look to it, exactly the sort I'd expect from someone who delights in putting forth their rendition of 'Happy Birthday to You' upon an unsuspecting person.

>"Thank you for telling me, miss!"
No. 901963 ID: bfb318
File 153713456339.png - (145.25KB , 900x600 , 501.png )

He trots off. A few waiters that were helping others mysteriously start vanishing as Mayor's machinations are put into play. She puts cash on the table and we eat a lot of ice cream.

Then, as some kind of predatory pack, the waiters all come out and cross by our table. Mayor smiles. I look behind me, because there's nothing to lose. Ceo and Gallsby are trapped. I don't think Gallsby knows why, he probably thinks it's some other poor sap who has a birthday. Ceo, though, tenses up, as is the usual reaction for someone who sees an incoming birthday song to be delivered without consent.

I'd feel bad for Gallsby as this is the stuff of his nightmares, but I don't. Singing happy birthday is one thing that he can dish out all day long, but can't receive once.
No. 901964 ID: bfb318
File 153713457686.png - (186.96KB , 900x600 , 502.png )

The waiters block their line of sight and we make a break for it to the car.

>"To the arcade now, Frillsby, where they can't follow us?" asks Mayor.
No. 901967 ID: 86eb65

Yes Arcade and Pinball sounds great.

But take a side route and or hide your car to avoid being followed.

Also consider if your car has a tracker.
No. 901969 ID: afdebc

...why can't they follow us there?

We need to lay a false trail. Or switch cars, so they're following yams or something.
No. 901972 ID: eeb7d9

We need to make a false trail. THEN we go to the arcade.
No. 901976 ID: 0c3c2c

The Arcade, definitely. Let's get out of here.
No. 901977 ID: 91ee5f

>"Not if there's anything right in this world."
You jinxed it! Now when Mayor gets home, she’s going to find that video on the internet!

>"To the arcade now, Frillsby, where they can't follow us?"
That’s the plan!

When pulling out of the parking lot, don’t drive so fast that your tires squeal, otherwise you’ll make them notice you’ve left. And the sooner they notice, the easier they’ll be able to catch up!

>Also consider if your car has a tracker.
A possibility we’ll have to check when we get to the Arcade parking lot.

>false trail
How the hell are they supposed to do that?

If they were on foot, I’d understand how that would work. But how are they supposed to do that in a car?
No. 901992 ID: c1c8ee

It's simple, just slam your brakes in random places, that's a way to do a false trail in a car!

Go to the arcade that doubles as a bar.
No. 902399 ID: bfb318
File 153739594576.png - (122.81KB , 800x800 , 503.png )

There's no time to spare, so we get in, calmly drive out of the lot, then uncalmly drive down the freeway and to the arcade.

In the arcade's parking lot, I throw my hand around the car's undercarriage for any trackers or anything, but the only thing I find is a big mystery for how Gallsby and Ceo found us.
No. 902400 ID: bfb318
File 153739596725.png - (152.31KB , 900x600 , 504.png )

It's not primetime for arcades, so there's just a small handful of people here. Some are also at the bar, because every arcade has a bar these days.

>"Welcome to Game Mage Parlor."
"Two cards split between however much money this is."
>"That's two twenties."
"So it is."

>"It's been a long time since I've been to an arcade." says Mayor. "Recommend something for us, Frillsby?"
No. 902402 ID: 65c9b9

Dragon Dance Revolution
No. 902405 ID: 86eb65

Dance dance nightmare.

House of the living 7.

Boop the snoot 2.

Skeeball the reckoning.
No. 902408 ID: 8046ec

Boop The Snoot 2 for sure
No. 902414 ID: daa216

Boop the snoot 2 was a classic.
No. 902419 ID: b1b4f3

What about Bubble Blobble?
No. 902420 ID: deec6e

A multiplayer coop game, obviously. Versus isn't her style (she becomes a punching bag or too competitive), and beyond that many arcade games require reaction speed and constant maintained attention. The best games suited for her must be games that 'last' for a few minutes at most. Or possibly ones where you can easily cover for her while she occasionally catnaps on your shoulder.

Dragon Dance Revolution is a pretty good fit for 'lasts only a few minutes', but not for shouldernaps, sadly.

You could also be a gentleman and give her the opportunity to play through a few single-player games and tell her you'll happily just be on standby with your anti-magic to help her stay awake throughout.
No. 902426 ID: 0c3c2c

Boop the Snoot 2
No. 902452 ID: eeb7d9

Play one of those 2 player shooting game. Like The House of the Dead or something. Or a Metal Slug. Those kick ass!
No. 902453 ID: e176c9

A racing game next to a shooting game so you can pretend you're doing drive-bys.
No. 902460 ID: 10c408

See if they've got a tetris cabinet hiding somewhere.

Bonus points if it's puyo puyo tetris
No. 902488 ID: 864e49

Warn them about Gallsbys giant arcade destroying monster hands and Ceos "violent" competitiveness.
That should help keep them from following you in here.
No. 902495 ID: 91ee5f

Play one of those 2 player co-op shooting games, like Time Crisis or something similar.

This is for 2 reasons: 1) For the obvious entertainment and 2) To show Mayor how good your shooting skills are so you can convince her to let you have a gun when you’re doing police stuff. You never know when you might need one!

Other games I’d recommend are:

Dragon Dance Revolution, to see how well both of you can dance.

Metal Slug, but only if you have lots of quarters, since that game is known for eating quarters because of how often players die.

Puyo Puyo Tetris, since puzzle games are good brain exercises.

And Boop the Snoot 2, because how could you not want to play that?!
No. 902838 ID: 15a025

See if they've got Boop the Snoot 2 and Metal Slug.
No. 903147 ID: bfb318
File 153791954944.png - (161.50KB , 800x800 , 505.png )

Mayor tours the arcade once to see what there is.

>"Since I haven't been to an arcade in ages, I've wondered what games are in. Apparently not just is there a 'Boop The Snoot 2', but that implies there was a Boop The Snoot 1."
"Want to boop a snoot?"
>"I don't see what choice I have. You do it first."

An digital snoot comes on screen. I tap it.
No. 903148 ID: bfb318
File 153791956374.png - (172.48KB , 900x800 , 506.png )

>"Snoot... boops! Rating: 86/100. You win!"

Three tickets come out.

"Show me how it's done, Mayor."
No. 903149 ID: bfb318
File 153791958168.png - (83.52KB , 800x800 , 507.png )

No. 903150 ID: bfb318
File 153791959288.png - (154.43KB , 900x600 , 508.png )

>Snoot DESTROYED. Try again next time!"
>"That's enough of that game."
No. 903151 ID: bfb318
File 153791960371.png - (179.65KB , 900x600 , 509.png )

>"There was an older set of game cabinets here. These are games I've played. Tetris, puyo puyo, Bubb - uh... this isn't Bubble Bobble."
"I don't know, it looks like Bubble Bobble to me."
>"It's clearly not."
"The screen though. There's bubbles. There's bobbles."
>"But the title is all snubbles and snobbles."

She starts a game.
No. 903152 ID: bfb318
File 153791961537.png - (162.82KB , 800x800 , 510.png )

>"Okay it's just Bubble Bobble except with a bootleg title."

I get distracted by stalkers.
No. 903153 ID: bfb318
File 153791967235.png - (114.52KB , 900x600 , 511.png )

'Cept that's not anywhere close to the kinds of expressions stalker's put on.
No. 903154 ID: b1b4f3

Go over and ask them man what.
No. 903156 ID: 86eb65


Or maybe Ceo's power can do something that would let her track you?

Ask Mayor.
No. 903157 ID: d5442a

They are both clearly extremely offended that you would fail to support the original creators of bubble bobble by feeding your money to a knock-off.

Hmm. Wait. Originally, Ceo was wearing a shirt with a high collar. (>>900205 , >>901964), now she's wearing one with a collar that's a bit lower. It's an imposter! Or she had to change her shirt for some reason. Or she's an imposter!!
No. 903168 ID: 0c3c2c

They seem worried about something. Go ask them what's up.
No. 903171 ID: 91ee5f

.....ohhh, I think I know what’s happening.

You actually managed to lose them and they gave up following you. So they decided to just kill some time by coming here to play some games while waiting for the date to be over.

They look surprised because they didn’t know you would be here! So they ended up accidentally following you here!

Regardless, you should inform Mayor of the bad news and ask her if she wants to confront them for ruining the date? Because at this point, it’s almost like Ceo is purposefully trying to ruin this honest attempt at a date so that she can get out of having to ge to a therapist as part of her and Mayor’s agreement.
No. 903173 ID: a94e23

Mayor, they’re back.
No. 903186 ID: deec6e


Huh. You're right. Ceo's boots are different too.
No. 903187 ID: 214cda

Its clearly time for some espionage. Become Reverse Stalkers.
No. 903215 ID: eeb7d9

They are... off. Something is off about them. I got a bad feeling about this. I might just being really paranoid, they couldn't have followed you here a second time, it's too much.
No. 903247 ID: 65c9b9

call Gallsby
No. 903317 ID: 10c408

Call gallsby, try not to make a scene. If they come closer, boop the snoots. If they move away chase them and then boop the snoots.

Also don't announce gallsby by name in person or on the phone. Something is afoot, and we need to determine what it is first.
No. 903393 ID: 864e49

How the fuck was Gallsby even allowed in here with those hands?
No. 903408 ID: 7f0aac

The shrekening is nigh.
No. 903423 ID: afdebc

Use your snoot boopers to flip the stalkers double birds.
No. 903435 ID: bfb318
File 153800307430.png - (149.35KB , 900x600 , 512.png )

"Mayor, does Ceo's magic involve anything involving tracking us?"
>"No, why - oh for heaven's sake."
"Hey, you guys!"

Gallsby waves his arcade-incompatible hands.

>"Hey, shapeshifters!"
>"You two just happened to be here? Unbelievable. And by unbelievable I mean literally, I can not believe it."
"That's what I thought about you two!"
>"Besides." says Mayor. "We got here first!"
>"Psh, we decided to come here before you guys did, unless you decided it last night!"
"Sounds like we need to test for shrekening."

I call Gallsby.

"So, Gallsby. Are you expecting any calls?"
>"I don't know, I forgot my phone at home!"

... damnit, knowing Gallsby, that isn't that bad of an argument. Especially since no Gallsby is picking up. Ceo speaks up.

>"I'd call you to check if you're shapeshifters, but how do I know you two didn't steal Frillsby's and Mayor's phone, huh?"
"At least we look like ourselves. You two are off."
>"How so?"
"You were wearing a high collar earlier, Ceo."

She tightens her collar, and it rises up.

"And different boots?"
>"I have like 5 pairs in my car!"
No. 903436 ID: bfb318
File 153800308601.png - (119.25KB , 800x600 , 513.png )

>"Ceo." says Mayor. "After all that jazz about getting my to try to go on a date, are you actually trying to make it harder, or are you that socially blind?"
>"Look! Gallsby and I talked about you two going out, Gallsby got jealous - "
>"That's only what it looked like to untrained eyes!"
>"Well whatever happened we joked about going out to make things fair, and it turns out both of us let things get out of hand! And before you asked, Villi was cool with it."
>"Villi would be cool with anything." Mayor continues.
>"Cause he's a cool guy! The point is is that we decided on coming here last night, but then on the way over, who's car do we see? Frillsby's! At the Applebee's! And I really wanted to know how things were going, and I was going to leave it at that! Then we came here after your birthday stunt!"
>"Excuse me while I don't believe you."
>"Well you don't have to! Go have fun with Frillsby."
>"I can't 'have fun' while you're constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure I'm smiling or whatever."
>"I won't!"

Mayor glares.

>"Okay look I came all this way to the arcade and drug Gallsby here too I can't just leave."
No. 903440 ID: bfb318
File 153800315895.png - (110.22KB , 800x800 , 514.png )

Gallsby's face lights up with a Gallsby idea.

>"There's only one way to settle this, shapeshifters or not. Frillsby and I have to have a friendly competition. The loser and his girlfriend have to leave and date somewhere else!"
"Gallsby at the risk of sounding like I'm accepting, which I am absolutely not until I hear your terms, what is your idea?"
No. 903441 ID: bfb318
File 153800316504.png - (192.64KB , 800x800 , 515.png )

>"Straight. Chicken." See that over there? Photo booth. We rock paper scissors, and winner chooses who goes first. Then the second group has to one-up the other in straightness! Then the first group has to one up that. If they fail, or if they chicken out, then they lose and have to leave the arcade! If we need a judge we can get a random innocent bystander."
"Gallsby I basically had this idea earlier."
>"Suuuure you did! You just didn't want to say anything cause it's 'weird' and 'ridiculous' I bet!"
"... Yeah!"
>"You know what kind of people say that?"
No. 903442 ID: bfb318
File 153800317241.png - (176.09KB , 1000x800 , 516.png )

Ceo leans in with him.

>"A chickeeeeen!"
>"A chickeeeeen!"

Gallsby either has a sneaky game plan or he forgot he was at least 100% more gay than my 110% gay.
No. 903443 ID: 86eb65

He is going to go in there and duck down so the camera only gets a photo of Ceo. Then by default there picture is 100% straight. And yours will be only 50% straight cause you are in it.

So all you need to do is duck down... Wait!

Wait we have not idea what he will do! Ceo and Mayor could be bi curious or reproduce by budding! Who knows this town is weird!

So get in the booth and make some funny faces and have a fun time with Mayor. If she wants to smooch you then let her. But just enjoy the date regardless.

Also challenge them to some snoot booping.
No. 903444 ID: e1d580

Just grab Mayor right now and kiss her.
No. 903445 ID: d5442a

Ok Gallsby but 1) You are more gay than even Frillsby is and 2) Your hands will make it difficult to perform several non-gay actions. Now the real Gallsby is capable of having suboptimal ideas for himself but it occurs to me that a shapeshifter could come up with this competition in order to secure blackmail material against an upstanding member of the police force.

So you have to go first. Also this is contingent on Mayor's acquiescence because obviously.
No. 903447 ID: e1d580

I'm serious, if you don't head this off with drastic action it's just going to end up a slowly escalating series of straight-chicken shenanigans ending with worse things than a kiss. That can be cool and all but pull a power move, Frillsby, take charge of this and kiss Mayor.
No. 903450 ID: deec6e

>Chicken x2

That tears it. Whether it's Gallsby being jelly and having a laugh (for perfectly Gallsby reasons) or Ceo having a ball teasing her sister (for perfectly sisterly reasons), this is interrupting this lovely sort-of-date that you're on. You need to deal with these two jokers so that you and Mayor can become just good friends by the end of this.

Look to Mayor - go ahead with the photo-farce if she's willing to endure potential sisterly blackmail material. Pick Paper cuz' Gallsby's gonna make some sad and terrible rock joke. If it's Ceo answering, pick Rock, because she'll probably have asked Gallsby what he'd pick and know paper would be your go-to move. If you win, go first and start high - with snoot-to-snoot booping. The next level up would have to be kissing, and I'm not sure Gallsby's even vaguely mentally prepared for it to get that serious, that fast.
No. 903458 ID: 27ab88

Seriously, boop some god damn snoots. You have anti-magic for a reason, time to use it!
No. 903459 ID: 91ee5f

I don’t trust this because 1) doppelgängers can use these photos as blackmail material to have Mayor removed from office or something like that, and 2) this is Gallsby and Ceo we’re talking about here, they could just take the photos and throw them around for everyone to see, just for fun!

Also, this is the type of silliness that Mayor hates, she’s never going to agree to doing this!
No. 903460 ID: 7e1da4

Tell them to fuck off, you're on a date.
No. 903461 ID: 214cda

I'm starting to think that neither frillsby or gallsby know what gay actually means or how percentages work. Or even care. Or how this exposes shape-shifters.

Frillsby, kiss mayor. Surprise yourself, enjoy it.

Ceo, one up them with the fluffmonster.

Gallsby ... pretty sure you're never not enjoying things, regardless of what those things are. Have a girlfriend for like a minute, you and Ceo get along way too well.

Cause you're both fluffy trolls.
No. 903463 ID: 91ee5f

Yeah, that also works. And it’s probably for the best that we do this instead of playing along.
No. 903470 ID: ee2d6e

Look at Mayor yes that look, give her a nod, and then initiate full tongue-in-mouth kissing. Go straight for the nuclear option.
No. 903474 ID: 6ee5db

I see two options here, tell them to leave you alone or do as >>903470 suggested and go full nuclear. Do remember that mayor should get a say in this too.
No. 903475 ID: b1b4f3

Ask Mayor if she's up for it. Caution her that you are going to take this deadly serious.
No. 903485 ID: 91ee5f

If we decide to go nuclear and kiss Mayor, then don’t do it in the privacy of the photo booth, do it right here out in the open in front of Gallsby and Ceo!
No. 903488 ID: 8c4b3b


Easy win: go 120% Bible study group. Hands clasped in laps but not too close with room for Jesus between you and zero eye contact.

It doesn't get any straighter than intensely repressed sexual frustrations.
No. 903489 ID: daa216

Perfect plan. Double dog dare him to a game of boop the snoot 2. There is no way he can best you.
No. 903490 ID: 0c3c2c

Quick, try to become bisexual! Also,you can always just take your shirt off to give Mayor something to ogle in the photobooth.
No. 903563 ID: eeb7d9

Ok, that does it, we didn't came here to put up with Gallsby's shenanigans. Kiss Mayor right now, she will understand. Apologise in advance. We were going to have a nice time and they ruin it with shenanigans.
No. 903589 ID: 214cda

Only appologize if she doesn't enjoy it.
No. 903648 ID: afdebc

I straightest thing I could possibly do is tell you you're being ridiculous and that I'm too square to play.

Sorry Gallsby, you lose.
No. 903653 ID: b1b4f3

...wait if both Frillsby and Gallsby are on a date that means there are no damn cops on the force!
No. 903660 ID: 214cda

the resulting rise of crime will give them something to do when their dates are over. Its the perfect play.
No. 903661 ID: 91ee5f

Hey, you’re right!

Damnit, Gallsby, we both can’t be on dates at the same time!
No. 903678 ID: bfb318
File 153809489707.png - (132.97KB , 900x600 , 517.png )

I could tell them to fuck off, and they probably would or at least Gallsby would, but there'd be unwanted lingering baggage.

"Mayor. If we do this, I'm going not going to hold back. We're going to win." I'm shooting a look at Mayor. She looks...

Well she looks like the mayor. I can't read her until she takes a step closer.

I take a step to face her.
No. 903679 ID: bfb318
File 153809490426.png - (200.64KB , 900x600 , 518.png )

We kiss.
No. 903680 ID: bfb318
File 153809501945.png - (134.10KB , 900x700 , 519.png )

>"Holy shit." says Ceo. "I'll go to the psychiatrist or whoever, damn!"
>"Traitor!" says Gallsby.
"Gallsby you were going to do worse or was that a bluff?!"
>"It was a bluff!"
"I don't believe you."
>"Well I'll take your disbelief, go home, and dumpster it! Don't forget about me Frillsby even while you're smoochin' all the ladies!"
"I won't because I need a dick to suck to reaffirm my gayness."
>"Aw no Frillsby you aren't suckin' my dick with that cootie-tongue! Go wash it off with Villi's dick!"
"Maybe I will!"
>"Great!" adds Ceo.
>"Fantastic!" Gallsby continues.
"Fuck off Gallsby!"
>"I'll fuck on!!"

He escapes before I have a chance to ask what that means.
No. 903681 ID: bfb318
File 153809503010.png - (178.33KB , 900x700 , 520.png )

>"You alright, there? If I didn't already know you were 200 whatever percent gay, I'd be very concerned about the face you're making right now."
"I'm fine, just don't mind my hella gay reflexes. That move was correct. It was a power move. The best move."
>"Oh thank god, I thought I made a mistake, but it worked out. They're gone without raising a stink."

I look over to where I believe Gallsby played Boop The Snoot 2.

"It's probably for the best they're gone."
No. 903682 ID: e1d580

Yeah but now you might have to pay for that. You'll have to arrest Gallsby and put him in gay baby jail.
No. 903683 ID: afdebc

If Mayor's tongue had any magical properties they're probably dispelled now.

Time to find and play the gayest game in the arcade. Washing your mouth off with dick would be rude during the date!
No. 903684 ID: eeb7d9

It was about time they stoped with the bullshit. They very alike, Gallsby and your sister, they never seem to know when to stop.
Speaking about Gallsby, i think i actually managed to make him upset this time. That is goingt to come back to bite me in the ass later, and not in the gay way.
No. 903685 ID: b1b4f3

Yeah, now we can play some dang video games.
No. 903696 ID: 10c408

I'd say you should make it up to gallsby, but he was being a tremendous ass in the first place.

Maybe when you get back just sentence yourself to some community service* for not backing down and him for being, well himself.

(*and by service I mean a tv/movie marathon of the gayest thing you can find. Bonus points if it's better than drag race)
No. 903747 ID: 86eb65

Gallsby is a good guy but he takes things to far sometimes. Mayor did good.

Sigh and give the owner the police department info for sending the repair bills for the machine.

Then go continue your date and play some dance dance.
No. 903841 ID: 214cda

Kissing girls is like drinking black coffee; your reaction is strong at first but eventually you love it.

Be the best Gay Traitor you can be.
No. 904060 ID: 91ee5f

>Frillsby’s face
What’s the matter? I thought you liked the taste of coffee! XD

Ask Mayor if that kiss helped her wake up more or is it the same amount as touching you?
No. 904548 ID: bfb318
File 153851904771.png - (221.72KB , 800x800 , 521.png )

"So did that kiss help wake you up?"
>"Not any more than just touching you regularly."
"Dang, I guess I don't have magic kisses after all."
>"After all? Did you think you did?"
"Every dick I've kissed has perked up."
"I'll file that sentence under 'things I shouldn't say on dates'."
>"Someday you'll be a pro. But you know what? I am enjoying myself. Especially now that we can play games, finally."

And we do. We play every co-op game in the place, and most of the rest. One game that stands out is "Shoot Everything 5", a game that has civilians and cops that pop out and penalize you if you shoot them.

The games all take long enough that anything else is winding down as it gets to be evening.

A) Do one last activity
B) Drive back home, complete date
No. 904551 ID: 86eb65

Dance Dance
No. 904552 ID: e1d580

Love testing booth that you both realized was a bad idea one second after entering but now feel too awkward to leave.
No. 904556 ID: 65c9b9

we have to arrest Gallsby and touch him with our cootie tongue on the snoot later for destruction of private property
No. 904557 ID: 65c9b9

also B. offer to let Mayor watch you touch Gallsby with her cooites
No. 904561 ID: eeb7d9

I don't know what else to do but i can't shake the feeling that we really are missing something here.
No. 904566 ID: 10c408

No. 904589 ID: daa216

Go home. No need to draw this out longer than it needs to go.
No. 904603 ID: deec6e


B, with a twist.

Head back home to Mayor's sofa and watch a rented action/romantic movie, that time-honored date finisher. Both of you end up falling asleep cuddled up in an awkward state, Mayor having tried to keep skin contact with you to stay awake through an entire movie for once.

Wake up with stiff-ass muscles next morning, Gallsby and Ceo mistakenly presuming your complaints about soreness as you two having made a 'proper' night out of it. Expect to spend rest of morning "no really, nothing happened"-ing.
No. 904607 ID: 2f83e5

No. 904630 ID: 0c3c2c

No. 904704 ID: c4a9bd

Totally this, yes.
No. 904805 ID: afdebc

These, for A.
No. 904806 ID: 6ee5db

Definitely this.
No. 904807 ID: de6d84

No. 904823 ID: 91ee5f

I think watching a movie at Mayor’s house still counts as doing one last activity.
No. 904842 ID: deec6e


It's one of those things where you can think about it in several ways.

A) Do one last activity (here at the Arcade).
B) Drive home, complete the date (by watching a movie, falling asleep).

If neither A or B really fits what I suggested, there's always options C through Z, pending quest tolerance for random suggestions that fit into the larger picture.
No. 904858 ID: 214cda

Do A) then do B) then do C) Cuddle-sleep to put off D) dealing with Gallsby and his ridiculous trolling until E) Tomorrow
No. 904967 ID: bfb318
File 153869319202.png - (99.76KB , 1000x700 , 522.png )

Mayor and I go back to her house. Ceo's there, but as soon as we walk through the door, she flees upstairs. Mayor and I watch an action movie, and my anti-magic more or less keeps her awake even though she lays down on my lap.

I also hear some scraping on the walls. Then I realize it's Ceo, again, escaping through the window and getting into her car right about the same time that I get a text from Gallsby saying that he, Ceo, and Villi are going to hang out at the bakery.

By the time the movie finishes, Mayor is slurring her speech, and falls asleep with her leg falling out of the couch in a way that can't be comfortable. She's on my lap so I can't get up. It's absolutely impossible. This is my life now.
No. 904968 ID: bfb318
File 153869320170.png - (74.06KB , 800x800 , 523.png )

Chapter 8

I'm waking up?

I'm awake. I must have fallen asleep for a few hours after my imprisonment.

But I bet what woke me up wasn't the thought of my situation. There was a noise. I was to asleep to notice what it was, but was also aware enough to wake up and know there was some noise. Mayor's still asleep. Maybe I just dreamed it. This house is spooky and -
No. 904970 ID: bfb318
File 153869321193.png - (51.61KB , 900x600 , 524.png )


Okay that's not just spooks, that's haunts and just an all around messed up noise to hear in the middle of the night.
No. 904973 ID: 86eb65

Its just bad plumbing probably. Bad Ghost plumbing!

Carefully move out from under sleepy Mayor and go investigate the horrible ghost sounds.
No. 904976 ID: afdebc

>Mayor falls asleep on my lap so I can't get up
Oh no, she's a cat. Frillsby, you have a cat now. Your life is over.

Look around for the source of the haunting, since you can't move.
No. 904978 ID: 65c9b9

leave the house because its probably Gallsby getting revenge for the cooties
No. 904979 ID: deec6e

Reach for the TV remote. See if you can't turn on the television to scare the spooks.

Or at the very least check what time it is.
No. 904982 ID: e1d580

Carry Mayor with you.
No. 904985 ID: 8e1ef2

You're probably getting pranked.
No. 904986 ID: 6ee5db

Could it just be Ceo coming back? Maybe she passed out after a wild threesome at the bakery and only woke up a bit ago.
No. 904990 ID: 3cc68c

I bet its something to do with Mayors magic. Maybe she wanders around in ghost form while sleeping.

Maybe her being awake is sleeping for the ghost!

Go check it out. But be careful to move slow and switch a pillow for your lap.
No. 904996 ID: 0c3c2c

Ghosts are magical, therefore it can't hurt you. However, you should still pat Mayor on the head and try to rouse her gently.
No. 905006 ID: eeb7d9

Do you think Mayor never gets enough sleep because there are spooky ghost haunting her and they don't let her sleep? Is either that or someone is fucking with you.
No. 905008 ID: daa216

Well you can't move. Still got a mayor on your lap. Just stay calm and remember your police training...no not that part of it. Yes that part.
No. 905014 ID: d5442a

Frillsby you are a cop. It's your job to be able to deal with strange things in the night! Haven't you gotten training for this? Anyway it might be Ceo sneaking back in or some old house thing.

Though I have had the theory that Mayor's magic is some sort of time stop ability and the reason she's constantly sleeping is because the time she's not sleeping she spends doing everything in stopped time land. Maybe she just did it there now and came back, and that sound is something she moved into an unstable sliding into place! But I guess if that was it your antimagic wouldn't affect her tiredness. And she wouldn't be able to use it while touching you. Though she is resting on your pants and not directly on you? And maybe there's extra tiredness as a magical side effect. Hhrm, unlikely. Maybe I'd better cross that one off the list, cool as it would be.

We'll figure it out eventually!
No. 905019 ID: b1b4f3

Is that Gallsby scratching on the door? Or Ceo? Go investigate.
No. 905022 ID: 10c408

You know what you should do?

Investigate, batman style. Check the perimeter from the roof, then work your way down.
No. 905033 ID: c1212a

It's TV static or mayor snoring don't worry about it.
No. 905085 ID: ee2d6e

You have a catMayor. Softly pet the catMayor
No. 905090 ID: a94e23

battle plan!
If ghost: you are antimagic. just touch it.
If Gallsby and/or ceo coming back from villi’s to mess with you: be super straight.
If someone broke in to use the shower like you did: go grab a knife and prepare for the upcoming pun off.
If none of those things: panic and flail in a way that is completely unbefitting of a police officer.
No. 905109 ID: 7f0aac


Dammit, Ceo and Villi are doing the slow-motion do in that spooky bed.
No. 905160 ID: bfb318
File 153877182430.png - (91.16KB , 800x800 , 525.png )

>Ghosts are magical, therefore it can't hurt you.
If they can interact with the material plane though then they can throw crap at me. If they can't... then they probably can't hurt anyone.

I make a brief effort to rouse Mayor by petting her and then putting her head on a throwpillow. She's completely out.
No. 905161 ID: bfb318
File 153877183202.png - (173.33KB , 800x800 , 526.png )

There's investigating to do. I can't just go on the roof without finding a ladder or some kind of roof access. Plus, Mayor only looks over a portion of the house, and the rest don't have working lights. On the bright side, with no pun intended, I saw a flashlight in the kitchen. I grab it and walk around the house trying to find the source of this noise closer to where the noise is. It's hard to pinpoint, and I only hear it a couple of times.

I have my phone, too. It's a little after 2 AM.
No. 905164 ID: bfb318
File 153877193617.png - (148.63KB , 900x600 , 527.png )

Behind the house is an old, small graveyard.

There's someone out there. Possibly a ghost. Possibly a criminal. Possibly both. I don't know if it's legal for them to haunt even their own graves.

Also, I'm still coming to terms that there's a graveyard right behind Mayor's house. I thought the town map just wasn't written right or something, but no this is a backyard graveyard.
No. 905166 ID: 8e1ef2

Go see if they need any help.
No. 905171 ID: fd0bee

Call Gallsby and tell him what you are about to do. You either will need help or someone to know how you died.
No. 905173 ID: afdebc

You found a flashlight and the batteries weren't already dead? I thought your power shut down magic- that's clearly magic.

Well, if they're not a ghost, they're trespassing. It's after hours. Go check it out.
No. 905176 ID: 86eb65

Go police the graveyard.

See if the nice ghost needs any assistance.
No. 905197 ID: 0c3c2c

Go waltz over to them.... Oh, but first make sure to find the keys so you can get back in if you get locked out.
No. 905212 ID: eeb7d9

Well, if it is illegal to haunt things, you have a ghost to apprehend, if it is not a ghost, you have a criminal to apprehend for trespassing. It's a win-win situation.
No. 905219 ID: 65c9b9

ask yourself when the ghost spooks started... its when Mayor went to sleep its just her magic, ignore it unless it commits crimes
No. 905225 ID: deec6e


Welp. Time to lock the window and draw the curtains.

... ah fuck it. Go out there, into the graveyard, at night and see who it is. Nothing bad's going to happen. You're the police. You got anti-magic. And cuffs. And investigating ominous stuff like this at any hour of the day is literally your job.
No. 905274 ID: b151ce

Stick your head out the window. Also call Gallsby. Not necessarily in that order.
No. 905360 ID: bad12e


Pretty noisy ghost to be heard all that way.

Maybe it's a spooky necromancer preparing for Spoopiween, that funky holiday all the kids are into nowadays, and what you're really hearing are the skellies in the cl--- err, basement.
No. 905455 ID: 15a025

Gallsby's probably not going to answer. Call up Villi or Ceo.
No. 905554 ID: bfb318
File 153894115835.png - (105.10KB , 800x800 , 528.png )

Against all instincts revolving around 'don't get spooked', I'd better go investigate the graveyard. I don't know where the backdoor is though, I'll just hop out the window.


Oh it's one of these windows with ornamental levers that don't actually work or let you open the window.

I guess I'll just have to go out the front and around the building. I message Gallsby.

"Gallsby just fyi I'm going to investigate a graveyard, if I don't make it then don't worry about a funeral 'cause I died in a graveyard."

It's past 2 AM though he's probably -

>"Don't die Frillsby!"
No. 905555 ID: bfb318
File 153894116683.png - (153.76KB , 800x800 , 529.png )

... But by some metaphorical law probably named after someone, by the time I come back, the ghost or whoever's gone.
No. 905556 ID: bfb318
File 153894117778.png - (75.03KB , 800x800 , 530.png )

"FFFfhi Mayor."
>"What's going on?"
No. 905558 ID: 65c9b9

Graveyard ghost. is that your magic?
No. 905559 ID: 86eb65

Hunting ghosts.

Want to help?
No. 905560 ID: 91ee5f

Tell her what you saw and you came out here to investigate.

Then ask how she opened that window because you tried to go out through the window and couldn’t get it to open, which forced you to use the front door.
No. 905562 ID: 0c3c2c

Ask if her magic power is summoning dream ghosts, because you saw one while she was asleep.
No. 905653 ID: eeb7d9

Wasn't expecting you to wake up. I heard a noise so i went to investigate. I saw a ghost/perpetrator in this graveyard that that you so happen to have, but now is gone. That normal around here?
No. 905758 ID: daa216

Ask her why she is awake. It is 2 am and your magical lap is not touching her face.
No. 905760 ID: d5442a

"I heard and/or saw a spooky ghost."
No. 905762 ID: b1b4f3

She knows where the working windows are, it seems.
Tell her you saw some spooky ghost in the graveyard.
No. 905770 ID: 214cda

why is your backyard literally a graveyarrrrrrrd? Are these all the people who sneak into your house to use a shower and get caught? Am I an outlier cause my junk is great?
No. 905787 ID: 3cc68c

Is your magic house magic? Are you haunting the house? Can you control buildings?

Anyways I saw something odd out in the graveyard and am poking around police style. Also that window arm is awesome.
No. 905928 ID: bfb318
File 153903851409.png - (117.30KB , 800x800 , 531.png )

"I wasn't expecting you to be up."
>"That sounds like you're up to no good."
"No, you just seemed tired."
>"I wake up periodically, and I noticed a lap was replaced by a throw pillow. So what's going on?"
"First off, I'm wondering why there's a graveyard in your backyard?"
>"One of my predecessors was also priest of some kind. He never left. I don't know if he was a shutin, or had a physical, mental, or magical condition that didn't let him. So he made the graveyard in the back so that he could perform funerals without going far. He died before I was born though. Is he haunting the graveyard or something?"
"What's he look like?"
>"Not sure."
"Then I don't know, but him or not, I did see someone who was spooking the graveyard. Think it's him?"
>"No, Frillsby, I think it's a graverobber or a trespasser."
"Do you get those?"
"Why didn't I ever get a call about it?"
>"Because I keep a shotgun around the house."


>"Frillsby don't look at me like that, I don't shoot them. I just shoot somewhere, and no graverobber or trespasser or whoever wants to mess with someone in an old run down house with a shotgun."
"This is both true and worrisome. Second of all I couldn't open your window when I tried to get out to chase this person."
>"Hm? Oh, yeah, a lot of the windows can't be opened, but another predecessor got amazingly perturbed that some windows had levers and switches and some didn't. So he added real fake pieces to windows. Anyways, it looks like you have a mystery on your hands."
"You're one unworried lady for having people sneaking in your backyard graveyard."
>"Believe it or not, I like having visitors now and then, and if I don't need to engage mentally with them, even better."
No. 905935 ID: eeb7d9

>Believe it or not, I like having visitors now and then, and if I don't need to engage mentally with them, even better.
Well, arent´t you a sweetheart. Anyway, i am fully awake and with nothing better to do, wanna chase down some grave robbers?
No. 905943 ID: 86eb65

Are you going to ignore the fact that the house opened that window with a big house hand from the outside?

Mention the hand to the mayor.
No. 905966 ID: b1b4f3

Ok, time to gather evidence. Go over to where you saw it and look for footprints or maybe evidence of whatever they were doing back there.
No. 905973 ID: 214cda

a second date at 2AM that involves chasing ghosts with a shotgun? how can you resist?
No. 905979 ID: deec6e


How indeed.
No. 906026 ID: daa216

Do you think my lap not only keeps you awake but also asleep when you want to sleep? It seems like a magic lap of existence.
No. 906030 ID: 0c3c2c

Heh. Go check in the graveyard.
No. 906089 ID: afdebc

Well there's no spooks or trespassers out here any more, so I guess I'm done for now. I guess gay policemen scare them off the same as shotguns.

So since there's no more visitors to engage with, mentally or not, back to bed?
No. 906782 ID: 15a025

Nothing says romantic like scaring off grave robbers off at 2 am. Ask the Mayor if she'd like to join the hunt?
No. 907792 ID: bfb318
File 154015655950.png - (201.45KB , 800x800 , 532.png )

>Are you going to ignore the fact that the house opened that window with a big house hand from the outside?
Yes because there was no such thing. From a certain angle, the railing along the house lined up with Mayor's hand.

"I'm going to check that graveyard. Want to check it with me?"

Mayor yawns.

>"Yeah sure, let me get changed."

Mayor comes out with pajamas and a flashlight. It's a graveyard alright. It looks like Mayor puts some effort into keeping its appearance up, but I'm sure it looks a lot different at day.

I don't find any evidence. No abandoned shovels or pickaxes, no dug up ground or damages at all for that matter. The grass leaves soft footprints that make it look like the culprit was wondering around just a little bit before running back out. The dirt outside of the graveyard doesn't leave footprints I can see, so the trail's lost. I turn around to see Mayor fallen asleep on the ground.
No. 907793 ID: 86eb65

Yeah just ignore the fact she spookily opened the un-openable window.

Pick her up and bring her back into the house gentle as possible.

Or just nap out here in the graves with her. Its safe.
No. 907795 ID: deec6e

Weird. Do the footprints stop at a particular grave? If the graves aren't super ancient, it might just be some local old, and reclusive, night owl visiting a relative or parent's grave. Anyway, Princess carry Mayor back in to her bed proper. If she wakes, update her on your lack of results and ask for further detail on the former owners of the residence. Could the intruder be some friend of theirs?

Don't forget to pick up her flashlight as well - or go back for it (all alone) once you've brought her to bed.
No. 907796 ID: 0c3c2c

Waaaaaaaaaait a second.

Ask the Mayor if she has two bodies.
No. 907797 ID: 5247b0

Hey, hold on. The "Mayor" lying on the ground doesn't have Mayor's bit of longer hair in the back! She's a short-hair!
No. 907798 ID: bfb318
File 154015985734.png - (131.83KB , 800x800 , 533.png )

The footprints don't stop at a grave. It's more like they did a lap and a half around the graveyard before I caught them.

I pick up her flashlight. It'd be a little weird if she woke up while carrying her. Maybe. I don't know.

I poke her to see if she's just lightly sleeping. She's completely out, so I can't ask her reasonable questions like if her hair's grown longer than I thought it was or if she has two bodies.
No. 907799 ID: bfb318
File 154015986671.png - (143.99KB , 900x600 , 534.png )

I bring her back to the bed where I met her at. She's still out of it, and it's nearly 3 AM.
No. 907801 ID: 86eb65

Get a marker and carefully mark the back and front of one of her ears. Then if you don't see it later its her doppleganger!
No. 907802 ID: eeb7d9

She seems happy. Maybe she had fun with you!
No. 907803 ID: 10c408

Tape a note to the inside of her bedroom door so that when she wakes up she'll spot it.

"Yeah, I didn't find anything except you taking an almost literal dirt nap in your semi-spooky graveyard. Good bye and good night."

Lock up the mayor's place and just go home to sleep, man.

if you can't do that though, just crash on her couch and if she catches you just claim that you succumbed to the undead wiles of the ghost of insomnia's past.
No. 907805 ID: 91ee5f

Don’t forget to cover her with the blankets! And then crawl into bed with her.

.....what? You’ll be fully clothed! Besides, you said it yourself, it’s 3 in the fucking morning! Do a final sweep around the house to make sure everything is locked, then go back to sleep and wake up at a normal time of day for waking up.
No. 907809 ID: 0c3c2c

Tuck her in, do a sweep of the house, get undressed, lock all the doors and windows, then go to bed beside her.
No. 907817 ID: afdebc

Well, go lock all the doors and windows and stuff, then pass out on the couch. Lying down this time.
No. 907822 ID: 2f83e5

This but don't get undressed.
No. 907823 ID: daa216

Drop her off to bed. Make sure everything is shut and locked and then go home to make sure Gallsby stayed out of trouble for the rest of the day.
No. 907826 ID: bfb318
File 154016917043.png - (87.11KB , 900x600 , 535.png )

>Get a marker and carefully mark the back and front of one of her ears
I don't have a marker so I'm just going to have to wildly presume she doesn't have surprise doppelgangers.

The house is big but on account of a spook wandering around, I walk through house and make sure all the windows are shut and latched, and the doors are locked. Like Mayor said, some windows could be opened, some couldn't.

Somehow, knowing there's a guy out there is less spooky than not knowing if there's a guy out there.

Between not wanting to leave Mayor alone while this tired, and me being too sleepy to safely drive, I stick around. Her bed's comfy, and by using the power of post-date antics and thinking the couch is cold, I rationalize my way right under the covers. I keep my clothes on, which means this is probably on par with her sleeping on my lap.

The spookiness of this whole thing isn't helped by the house. Old houses constantly make weird noises, but I feel sleep start dragging me down.
No. 907827 ID: bfb318
File 154016919966.png - (94.41KB , 800x800 , 536.png )


I'm awake. Again.

That thump was no dream thump, so I'm full awake.

It's still dark. I feel like I was asleep for a couple hours. I think there were a couple other noises.
No. 907828 ID: 86eb65

Lay still and listen for a bit. So you can try to pinpoint the noise before you start making your own thumps.

Then carefully free yourself and search for spooks.

Last chance to mark up Mayor a bit.
No. 907832 ID: 6ee5db

Can ya get back to sleep Frillsby? If not then get up carefully and continue the spook hunt.

Either way realize mayor is a much better cuddler than Gallsby, if only cause she doesn't have claw hands.
No. 907833 ID: afdebc

>I don't have a marker so I'm just going to have to wildly presume she doesn't have surprise doppelgangers.
Besides Ceo.

Did you bring the shotgun to bed? Might as well just ignore the ghosts at this point, really.
No. 907840 ID: 5247b0

The creature is clearly afraid of the Mayor, as it has never bothered her and disappeared when she was around. Relax in the safety of the Mayor's arms.
No. 907841 ID: 0c3c2c

Snuggle up against Mayor for warmth. Wait for another thump so you can discern its location.
No. 907850 ID: bfb318
File 154017678234.png - (83.11KB , 800x800 , 537.png )

>Realize mayor is a much better cuddler than Gallsby
That's not saying much, Gallsby has claws, bad posture, and is all around a menace in bed.

Mayor just said it was in the house, I have no idea where it is. I guess I could look under the bed or something.

But maybe instead I'll just try to sleep. I'm not equipped to capture ghosts anyway.

It's started to rain, to, but otherwise it's quiet enough. I think th-


Okay that sounded like it was upstairs. I listen careful, and...

And there's some kind of death wail. This place is haunted as fuck. Let me think...

A) Investigate
B) Aggressively ignore it and go back to sleep trapped in Mayor's arms

>The creature is clearly afraid of mayor

C) Carry Mayor around while investigating
No. 907853 ID: 470289

No. 907854 ID: 9125e0

B get some godanm shut eye,dont let a ghost keep you up
No. 907855 ID: 65c9b9

No. 907856 ID: 65c9b9

scream something about you better have my money Jerry or those kneecaps are gonna disappear see what that does to the noises
No. 907857 ID: e1d580

C. But considering how hard Mayor tried to stay awake with the energy drinks and your antimagic, her magic is probably some sleep-haunting curse.
No. 907858 ID: 0c3c2c

No. 907859 ID: 90f3c0

No. 907861 ID: afdebc

B. B. B. More B. Stubbornly Cling to B. Beeee.

Then fuckit and C.
No. 907862 ID: bfb318
File 154017976396.png - (210.38KB , 900x600 , 538.png )

There's zero hope for sleep. I pick Mayor up, slump her over on my back, and start investigating.

I wonder if her magic power is sleep-haunting places. If it was, and she lives alone, she'd never know.

One of the windows... it's shut, but the latch is open. I know I had this locked.
No. 907863 ID: bfb318
File 154017977207.png - (140.03KB , 900x600 , 539.png )

Then the power goes out.

Okay. I have my flashlight stuffed in my pocket, so it's a little awkward with Mayor in my arms, but I can -
No. 907864 ID: bfb318
File 154017978064.png - (255.63KB , 900x600 , 540.png )

Chapter 8
No. 907865 ID: 65c9b9

slap mayor awake
No. 907868 ID: afdebc

Lock eyes with that ghost, you don't want to lose track of it!

Let Mayor sleep. She's the sleepy secret weapon.
No. 907872 ID: 91ee5f

>Okay. I have my flashlight stuffed in my pocket
You know, if Mayor was awake right now, she’d tease you by questioning if that was a flashlight in your pocket or if you were just happy to see her.

I would say that’s just the shadow of a tree’s branch and the thumping you heard earlier was the branch hitting the house somewhere, buuut the fact that you found one of the windows unlocked and you know you locked it says that’s not a tree branch!

So you better listen to the advice that Gallsby texted you earlier and don’t die! And don’t let Mayor die either!
No. 907876 ID: daa216

This is why you need a gun. Also that thing looked like a plant more than a person. Bring the Mayor to her room and lock the door.
No. 907890 ID: 9125e0

Oooh hell no
Let’s hope it’s magic so we can fuck it up but first GTFO
and call for back up hopefully gallsby is still up.

It also might be a prank........ I blame ogres.
No. 907901 ID: 05ff2f

Um, Frillsby, did you forget about your anti-magic powers? Because you touching the Mayor, let alone carrying her, negates any magic, anti-ghost or otherwise, she may or may not have.

...And thinking back, it seems like the strange ghost-like stuff started happening after the Mayor put her head in your lap, then again later when she was snuggling you in her sleep. That's probably not a coincidence. Better minimize physical contact with the Mayor until sunrise.

Lay Mayor down, retrieve your flashlight and light it, then latch the window. Try to poke Mayor awake with the flashlight. If she can move about under her own power that will make things a whole lot simpler. Otherwise, you'll have to stick the flashlight in your mouth, scoop her up and rush to a refuge room. One with a lockable door and no windows would be the best.
No. 907917 ID: 10c408

Okay, time for an experiment. Put the mayor down gently and see if the pokemon looking ghost goes away.
No. 907939 ID: ee2d6e

Give the ghost the glare of a person whose sleep it ruined. Don't give it any satisfaction of having as much as startled you.
Also you make an adorable little spoon.
No. 907943 ID: 214cda

>>Let Mayor sleep. She's the sleepy secret weapon.

If .. and this is just an If .. the ghost/spooks are afraid of mayor .. does that make her some kind of fluffy adorable level-headed eldrich abomination (who just happens to be running a town)? Because I kinda hope so.
No. 907946 ID: 86eb65

Yeah if Mayor is a anti spook magical girl then you are ruining her with your touch.

Try setting her down oh so carefully and seeing if the ghosts go away.
No. 907953 ID: 0c3c2c

Say, "Hey!"
No. 907966 ID: 57ff42

It's just a shadow cast by the lightning on a nearby tree, don't worry about it.

go back to bed.

No. 907969 ID: bfb318
File 154022649601.png - (44.37KB , 800x800 , 541.png )

I give the ghost a good glare for waking me up.

If Mayor's power was anti haunting, then it's a safe bet I'm messing it up. If it's haunting magic, then it would activate just once when she falls asleep. If it was a continuous stream of haunt power, then me touching her would stop this nonsense.

I put the Mayor down. On the next lightning bolt, the ghost isn't at the window, but I swear I see all kinds of unwelcoming shapes in the graveyard for just a second. It definitely doesn't feel less haunted.

"Hey! Do I need to break some ghost kneecaps?!" I shout out. There's no response.

Mayor is still sleeping harder than I've ever seen. I don't even know if slapping her would wake her up and it'd be messed up to try.

>You need a gun
Guns only work on shitty ghosts. Or shitty trees which could be the culprit for both thumping and casting shadows. Also that person from before in the graveyard, because that was no trick of the light.

I don't have a gun with me, and since that person was real as fuck, I don't feel keen on leaving Mayor alone even if it's in her locked bedroom. I guess it'd be fine if I slept with her, but investigating this stuff is basically my job, and I want to know about any nightcrawlers snooping around my town. Maybe there's a secure room with no windows I can drop Mayor off in.
No. 907970 ID: bfb318
File 154022650379.png - (89.70KB , 800x800 , 542.png )

I latch the window again and bring up my phone.

"Hey Gallsby you awake?"
"I need some backup come over to Mayor's place."

Thumps in the night and spooky shadows might be all trees, but what trees don't do is unlatch windows and make horrifying death wails that definitely sounded like it came from upstairs.
No. 907971 ID: 57ff42

I think it's time to find out what kind of apparition we are dealing with, what if it's not a ghost? Maybe you should raid the kitchen for garlic and make a cross by chopping up a cutting board with a knife.
No. 907972 ID: 7c21ff

Well, we're in a huge pickle now.

The ghost is going to come back if we carry the mayor. But we can't leave the mayor unattended.

Text Gallsby again, tell him to bring CEO as well since we need a non-anti magic body to help with the problem.

After that try and see if you can't put the mayor on like, a rug or something so you can scoot her around the place without directly touching her.
No. 907973 ID: d6b369

Why not call Ceo to cuddle-protect Mayor while you and Gallsby go bust some ghosts' kneecaps?
No. 907974 ID: b1b4f3

Evidence suggests the ghost only shows up while the Mayor is being swaddled in antimagic. So you've got to either keep carrying her while you investigate, or have Gallsby investigate alone.
No. 907975 ID: 5f3f48

>I guess it'd be fine if I slept with her
Quoted and saved so hard.

>Maybe there's a secure room with no windows I can drop Mayor off in.
Usually the kind of boring rooms with no windows are first-floor-bathrooms or closets. ...putting Mayor in the closet, pff.

>what do
You need anti ghost stuff now. Like... salt to pour in lines, or holy water, or religious symbols to wave at it. Or iron maybe, a fireplace poker might work.

Or you know, call the Ghostbusters. Are they real here?

Nah, leave Ceo out of this. The gay magical policemen are on the job, no need to get additional civilians I involved and at risk of spooking.
No. 907979 ID: 86eb65

Ok there are few things to consider before going to crazy.

1. Mayor has lived here for years. Sleeping so soundly that no ghosts can bother her. They might just be happy that they have someone to spook. They have tried for years to scare Mayor but she sleeps 27 hours a day and they are all horribly depressed.

2. Your antimagic could have something to do with it. Or not.

Honestly if there are ghosts and this is not some sort of scooby-doo bullshit I would go with it. Throw those poor ghosts a bone and let them scare you and Gallsby. If they have been trying and failing to wake up the Mayor for years they deserve it.
No. 907989 ID: 5247b0

If ghosts could hurt people there would be a lot more unexplained deaths and disappearances, Frillsby, it's fine if they're real ghosts. It's the possibility that this is all a ruse that's the trouble. Maybe there's some secret in this spooky old house like buried treasure underneath or something, and until now they've been taking it in and out no problem because just Mayor was here and she sleeps all the time, but now they're here and they need access to their pirate gold or whatever so they're trying to scare you away?
No. 907991 ID: 0c3c2c

Pipes could make wails and thumps but it's statistically unlikely at this moment. Carry Mayor upstairs.
No. 907993 ID: 91ee5f

>texting Gallsby
If you tell him that it’s ghosts, would he get here faster or would he text you a “totally real and not at all made up excuse” to prevent him from getting here because he’s afraid of ghosts?

And how is he going to get here? You’ve got the car with you. Does he have his own car or is he going to be walking in the rain?
No. 907996 ID: b151ce

Why do the stairs look so weird?
No. 908006 ID: 9a9e0c

It's gonna be CEO who forgot the key, didn't want to interrupt the Completely Straight Date, and yet stepped on a lego.
No. 908115 ID: eeb7d9

Alright, start looking around.
No. 908117 ID: deec6e

Once you've gotten a light lit, find a mirror to appreciate how ruggedly handsome you look, princess-carrying Mayor (and to see if anyone is sneaking around behind you).

Check the ground floor first. Carrying Mayor up the stairs will probably require a little care.
No. 908799 ID: bfb318
File 154086796662.png - (102.73KB , 800x800 , 543.png )

>It's gonna be CEO who forgot the key, didn't want to interrupt the Completely Straight Date, and yet stepped on a lego.
As nasty as legos are, this death wail sounded masculine. I just can't imagine it coming out of Ceo's mouth.

>Call Ghostbusters
I don't think any ghost busting magicians take calls out this far.

I want some anti-ghost tech, and the easiest that's around is a big bag of salt. I grab that, then grab Mayor, and head upstairs.
No. 908800 ID: bfb318
File 154086799061.png - (86.71KB , 800x800 , 544.png )

Most doors are old libraries, spooky studies, unused bathrooms, other living areas and the usual fare of a mostly abandoned house.
No. 908801 ID: bfb318
File 154086801235.png - (164.31KB , 800x800 , 545.png )

Then I throw another door open, and only now I notice that the door frame was so thick that it was lightproof. All I manage to do right away is blind myself.
No. 908802 ID: bfb318
File 154086803667.png - (185.59KB , 900x600 , 546.png )

It's a bedroom, and... I have to readjust my eyes again.

"F-Frillsby!" Villi says. "Th-this isn't what it looks like! I can explain!"
"Can you?"
No. 908803 ID: bfb318
File 154086804487.png - (203.68KB , 900x600 , 547.png )

Ceo looks at me, then at Mayor, then at the bag of salt, then back at me.

>"Can you?"
No. 908805 ID: 86eb65

For throwing at ghosts.
No. 908806 ID: 86eb65


So its not sex? She is ritually murdering you or something?
No. 908807 ID: 65c9b9

Villi's screams of pleasure sound like ghostly wailing
No. 908808 ID: 0c3c2c

Yeah, ask about Villi's screams of pleasure. Also, ask about Mayor being narcoleptic to an unhealthy degree. She passed out in the middle of a graveyard.
No. 908809 ID: 26bb62

Carefully place Mayor against the wall and throw salt at her sister.
No. 908811 ID: e1d580

Just go straight ahead with the exorcism, scatter salt over CEO and shout "Avaunt!" or "Begone, ghost!".
No. 908819 ID: 0dfaba

"Depends on if you guys did anything that a totally reasonable person could believe was ghosts or not."
No. 908821 ID: 470289

Why are you giving his foot a boobjob?
No. 908827 ID: afdebc

I didn't make it home after our date, I wasn't leaving Mayor alone if there were intruders, and the salt was in case the intruders were ghosts. Bam, explained.

Now, Ceo, does your sister actually let you user her house for boob-footjobs, or are you an intruder? Don't you have your own place?
No. 908852 ID: 10c408

"I was too tired to drive home. There's been a bunch of spooky shit going on since then."

"The two of you haven't opened any windows recently, have you?"
No. 908860 ID: b1b4f3

Tell them a ghost is disturbing your rest, and you're trying to get rid of the thing. Salt works on ghosts right (iirc it has to be sanctified salt)
No. 908882 ID: ad3e7a

Tell them you heard spooky sounds so you went in ghost hunting mode.
Add that it looks like Villy stepped on a lego and is getting his foot treated. Frame it as a question "you mean you didn't..."
No. 908884 ID: 214cda

"You arn't the only one who gets to be kinky, Ceo."
No. 908895 ID: c3c58f

"Mayor and I are Eloping, I'd have thought that'd be obvious."
No. 908897 ID: 91ee5f

So it’s possible Frillsby saw Villi in the graveyard earlier and the unlatched window was Ceo letting Villi in the house.

We’d better ask to be sure.
No. 908899 ID: eeb7d9

"What am i supposed to explain? She is asleep as always, and i was looking for a place to place her because there was some grave robber in cemetery, again. YOUR explanation will be far more interesting than mine however."
No. 908902 ID: daa216

Tell them you think you saw a ghost. That they need to dress and get ready for ghost hunting. Also Gallsby is coming and not in that way.
No. 908903 ID: 91ee5f

Also, damn Frillsby! Do you workout much? I’m amazed that you can carry Mayor around like that so easily!

Are you strong, is Mayor just very light, or is it both?
No. 908937 ID: bb78f2

CEO, wanna sandwich Villi?
No. 908961 ID: bfb318
File 154094518339.png - (137.54KB , 800x800 , 548.png )

>Are you strong, or is Mayor light?
Mayor's light. I'm not exactly weak, either.

"Villi, this one hundred percent looks like you stepped on a lego and Ceo's giving it treatment, so you're saying it's not that?"
"Ahhhh! N-no that was right! I was wrong, it is what it looks like!"
>"Villi there's no legos around here. This looks like I'm giving your foot a - ."
"Ahhh no I mean - "
>"What are you doing, Frillsby?"
"Ghost hunting. Mayor's having a narcolepsy episode or something, so I didn't want to leave her alone. She dropped in the middle of a graveyard."
>"The graveyard? What kind of date were you on?!"
"Ghost hunting. Keep up, Ceo."
>"No one can keep up with dates like that, that's why Mayor's konked out isn't it?"
"I can't prove or disprove anything. Have you two opened any windows?"
>"Yeah, we did, because somebody locked all the doors!"
"Are they normally not locked?"
>"Mayor has an open door policy as mayor, you know."
"Don't you have a place to stay?"
>"Yeah, in my bedroom, which is this room! I don't live in Dorb anymore, so I stay here when I visit."
"Then it may be inappropriate to throw salt at you to exorcise you out of the house."
>"I will actually hit you with my material hands."
"Villi, your sounds of pleasure sound like ghostly death wails."

Villi freezes up, and Ceo laughs.
No. 908962 ID: bfb318
File 154094519416.png - (136.82KB , 800x800 , 549.png )

>"No, he stubbed his toe while we were going through the window. I thought he fucking died, it scared the shit out of me too."
"S-sorry! It hurt really bad!"
>"But you were right, I'm treating it."
"With your chest."
>"Hey, you said it first! And don't knock it till you've tried it, mister gay man. Want to experience it yourself?"
"C-Ceo!" Villi blurts out.
"As Mister Gay, I'm obligated and willing to decline that."
>"Dang, Villi told me all about your kinkiness, too."
"N-no, I mean, blowjob charts are kinda..."
"You're not the only one who can be kinky, Ceo."
>"I know! That's the idea. For a gay guy, nothing's kinkier than getting a boob job, is there?"
"Mayor's supplied more than enough straight activity for me as it is."
>"Not with her boobs she didn't! Waiiit a second, what'd you do to my sister?"
"Slept with her."
>"Ohhh my goooooooooh wait you mean literally slept in the same bed don't you."
"Now you're thinking gay."


"Sort of."

Hold on.
No. 908963 ID: bfb318
File 154094520356.png - (95.81KB , 800x800 , 550.png )

"How long have you two been in or around the house, and where's Gallsby?"
>"Got here like 10 minutes ago." says Ceo.
>"Gallsby went home he said. Something about resting his claws? So are you just gonna stand in my doorframe or are you going to sandwich Villi?"

Villi sputters something that maybe was a word in an alternate universe.

>"You can leave Mayor with us no matter what you do. I can tell by her face that she's not waking up anytime soon."

That person out in the graveyard was someone else. Leaving that mystery unsolved is going to bug me both as a cop and as a resident, and considering I'm both, that's double the concern. But I might not be able to do anything about it now, and Gallsby's probably tired from staying up way too late, so I don't even know if I want to bring him in right now. And these two... I don't know if I trust these two with ghost hunting.
No. 908964 ID: 86eb65

Sandwich time.
No. 908966 ID: b1b4f3

You already called Gallsby so you may as well have him help.

Leaving Mayor here might be worth trying. Even though the "ghost" seems to disappear when you stop touching her that could be because she wakes up. If the ghost doesn't show up at all after leaving Mayor here, then at least you can get some sleep.
Ask Ceo if Mayor's power has anything to do with ghosts. She didn't say what it was, so Ceo probably won't spell it out either, but it'd be nice to know if it's related, whatever it is.
No. 908967 ID: afdebc

>You can leave Mayor with us no matter what you do.
I dunno, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be happy if I left her in the room with her sister's boob-foot treatments.

>what do
Continue the search, keep Mayor with you, instruct these too to keep the yelling down unless they encounter a ghost or axe murderer or something.
No. 908968 ID: 10c408

Tell them not to leave until tomorrow morning and ONLY after you've had a chance to check the perimeter.

Use the salt to set up a detection line around the suspicious areas and common entry points, locking everything as you go.

After that try and get more sleep.

Also take a page out of Mayor's book and take a knife with you.
No. 908971 ID: 0dfaba

Well, tell them that you saw someone else out in the graveyard, then leave Mayor here and go look if you don't want to join in on Villi's gay side.

Oh, wait, then you'd be splitting up and being the person who went off by themselves, that's not horror movie wisdom. Even if the person you saw outside is just some pervert who shadows couples on their way home in hopes of peeking in on stuff from outside, it's not a good idea to not have backup.

... If Mayor's not going to wake up soon, and these two are here, why not just turn on all the lights in the house to make it less spooky and tell any creeps that the people inside are awake and alert? Ghosts seldom show up when the lights are on. And if the lights mysteriously cut out afterwards you'll be better able to recruit your two pals here.
No. 908974 ID: eeb7d9

You are not doing jack shit until you find out what the hell is going on. But can't take Mayor with you. What do we do with her?
No. 908976 ID: 233362

You get in that room, put Mayor down (gently) take off your shirt (and your pants) and you sandwich the heck out of that goat.

Or Ceo, with the goat. You self-proclaimed gay kinkster.

Funfact: doing the latter will unequivocally cause Mayor to wake up; its like a law of the universe.
No. 908978 ID: 0c3c2c

Time to leave mayor with her sister and Villi and go ghost hunting.
No. 908986 ID: daa216

Rule one. There are bold cops and old cops but not both. Wait for backup. Gallsby isn't going to be the best but these two are busy.
No. 908988 ID: 90f3c0

Ghosts don't like to be found, the best was to find it is to act like you're distracted and wait for it try to spook you. Distract yourself by making a goat sandwich.
No. 908996 ID: bb78f2

I need to get that goat butt pregnant
No. 909004 ID: e1d580

At least consider fucking her tits to use it as a card against Gallsby in the future. Consideration done and rejected, ask CEO what end of villi she wants.
No. 909006 ID: 6ee5db

Start to do something sexual with Ceo to get the """coincidence""" gods to summon Gallsby and or wake up Mayor then go ghost hunting with those willing.

if the gods have had enough of your shit then idk do the sex or something
No. 909015 ID: 787c3d

Keep Mayor safe.
The ghost hunting take priority but we got to revisit the sandwich idea later.
No. 909024 ID: dc1fec

Don't go alone. Since you already called Gallsby, wait for him so you can fo ghost hunting with him, leaving Mayor here.
No. 909445 ID: 15a025

Leave with the Mayor. She's got better chances against the ghosts than her sister.
No. 909538 ID: bad12e


Alright, fine. Let's make a Villi sandwich.

We'll out-kink Ceo by doing Villi while she does her boob-thing, which is TOTALLY super gay.

And there's safety in numbers, so we know the spooky ghost won't come intruding on us while we're busy. That, and it keeps these two out of the way.

Flawless plan.
No. 910743 ID: bfb318
File 154223904977.png - (135.55KB , 1000x1000 , 551.png )

>Sandwich Ceo in order to summon Gallsby and wake up Mayor
That's Gallsby logic, and Gallsby logic hardly ever works for me. Or anyone. Including Gallsby.

"Somehow I don't think Mayor would approve of being left her in the room with her sister's footboobjob treatment or whatever this is."
>"She honestly doesn't care! And she cares even less since she's asleep."
"As in, uh, she doesn't get hurt by what she doesn't know?"
>"No, Villi, as in she legit doesn't care about what other people do in their own bedroom, even if she was mentally present, which she is not. She might just act a bit grump, but... you guys worry way too much. Like even ignoring my lax standards on worrying!"
"Okay. Don't leave the house until morning. I saw someone other than you two hanging out in the graveyard."
"Seriously. Does Mayor's magic have anything to do with ghosts?"
>"Not really? Maybe? I don't actually know, sorry Frills. She's cagey about it even to me! What're you going to do, Frillsby?"
"Investigate with Gallsby. I was afraid he'd be too tired, but I called him earlier to come by anyway, so we may as well."
>"Haha, a sleepover. Until Gallsby gets here, are you going to watch the show?"
No. 910744 ID: bfb318
File 154223906253.png - (184.33KB , 900x800 , 552.png )

"No, I'm going to participate. After today, I feel need to reaffirm my gayness."
>"Do you?"
"Whatever excuse gets me going."

I put Mayor down on the floor. It seems more likely she'd wake up because of it, but somehow less awkward than if she woke up on the same bed.

"Neither of you mind, right?"
"O-oh! N-no!... as in no I don't mind, I mean!"
>"Are you sure you can reaffirm it with me right here?" asks Ceo.
"What goes on behind me is none of my gay concern."
No. 910745 ID: bfb318
File 154223907614.png - (138.75KB , 800x800 , 553.png )

Ceo gets on top of Villi, too.
No. 910746 ID: bfb318
File 154223909671.png - (133.42KB , 800x800 , 554.png )

And now she's dangerously close behind me.

>"You know. If you turned around, we could properly sandwich the goat."
"I choose to face forward."

I ride the goat, who's squirms around an awful lot from whatever it is Ceo's doing back there.

And I'm not squirming much less from what Villi's doing to me!
No. 910747 ID: bfb318
File 154223915746.png - (136.71KB , 800x800 , 555.png )

My phone is ringing.
No. 910748 ID: 65c9b9

tell the mayor to answer it. some bureaucratic sense will wake her up I bet
No. 910752 ID: 91ee5f

>And now she's dangerously close behind me.
Fend her off with your tail by slapping her in the face with it!

>I ride the goat, who's squirms around an awful lot from whatever it is Ceo's doing back there.
You sure he’s not squirming from the combined weight of 2 adults on top of him? You guys might be crushing the poor goat.

Either finish quickly or go answer it.
No. 910753 ID: 86eb65

Whats that! Is that important municipal planning on the phone! Someone wants to donate a statue to the town you say!

Keep humping the goats face while talking.
No. 910754 ID: 09bde3

Ignore the phone, Mayor likely won't wake up and- honestly? If it's important, they'll call back or leave a message.
No. 910755 ID: 6ee5db

Isn't it like 4AM? no one would call you at this time of night unless it was important. either that or it's gallsby, probably reminding you you're out of milk or something equally stupid. If it's gallsby take a picture of your dick in Villi's mouth to show that yes, just cause you kissed a girl for a dare doesn't mean your not still gay as heck.
No. 910757 ID: eeb7d9

Is it Gallsby? Tell him that you are busy reaffirming your gayness. Very thoroughly.
No. 910767 ID: 10c408

Give the poor goat a chance to breathe, retrieve phone.

...Then get right back on him, you can multitask both.
No. 910768 ID: e1d580

Turn around when you answer the phone so Villi isn't exposed to the mystery danger caller.
No. 910769 ID: 1e8307

Oh no it could be a police emergency! I guess as a boy in blue you gotta risk blue balls sometimes. Give the goat a chance to breathe while you answer. If you think you can hold it together or it's just Gallsby you can go back to him while you talk!

... the trick will be coming back from picking up the phone without accidentally looking in Ceo's direction and getting eyeball cooties.
No. 910772 ID: cc8ca9

Well, duty calls. Pick it up.
No. 911396 ID: bfb318
File 154281857847.png - (125.32KB , 800x800 , 556.png )

>You sure he’s not squirming from the combined weight of 2 adults on top of him?
Considering I'm putting most of my weight on the bed, I'm somewhat sure.

>Fend her off with your tail by slapping her in the face with it!
That'll remind me there's a girl back there.

Not like I'm incredibly focused on that fact anyway. It's distracting!

But my phone's out of arm's reach, so I wonder if I have to answer that phone?
No. 911397 ID: bfb318
File 154281858884.png - (147.43KB , 800x800 , 557.png )

I don't, but I should and I do. I get off the goat and out the goat's mouth, and get on the phone and in my pants.

"Frillsby talking." I say, while Ceo gets back to work on Villi.
>"Gallsby arriving." says Gallsby. "I brought backup!"
"Is the backup you?"
>"Me and like half a dozen donuts I grabbed from Villi's fridge. He even said I could have them!"
>"What's that noise?"
>"Are you doing something with Ceo and Villi?!"
"How - no. Why would you say that?"
>"Because I'm right behind you!"
"Wh - wait, no, Gallsby. I'm not falling for that again."
>"But I am!"
"I'm not taking the bait Gallsby!."
>"I believe you! Because I'm there and I can see you not turning around!"
"I'm hanging up. Meet me downstairs."
No. 911398 ID: bfb318
File 154281859658.png - (109.17KB , 900x600 , 558.png )

"Duty calls." I tell Villi and Ceo.
>"Er... is that okay?" asks Villi. "I mean, you kinda... you can get back on? Er, if you have to do police stuff, but..."
"Another time, Villi. The mood was all wrong. No offense, Ceo."
>"You mean Villi?" she asks.
"Him too, but I meant you."
>"Heck's wrong with me?"
"You're a girl!"

Ceo scrunches up her face for a second, then fails somehow.

>"And now I'm vindicated for saying you're gay!"
"But I am."
>"No - I mean yeah, but I said it like... forget it! Dang right I'm a girl."
"I can tell. Okay, keep Mayor safe. I'm locking the door on my way out. Scream if anything happens."
>"Oh I'll scream all right."
"Okay I'm leaving you two to it."
No. 911399 ID: bfb318
File 154281860687.png - (118.45KB , 900x600 , 559.png )

I pull up my pants and downstairs. Just when I think Gallsby isn't down here, he comes through the front door.

>"So uh..."
"I'm almost definitely probably convinced there is a person snooping around around the house. Doesn't matter if it's ghost-haunting or person-trespassing, it's illegal and it's time to get to work."
>"Man it's 4 AM and I was doing other important things!"
"Okay I'm gonna call you on that, Gallsby. What important thing were you doing at this time of night?"
>"Washing off the cooties, duh!"
"Shiiit you got me."
>"You done that?"
"I was reaffirming my gayness."
>"Without me?!"
"You weren't here yet! It was with Villi."
>"Annnnd Ceo?"
".... she was on Villi."
>"Hella gay more like half-a-gay!"
"Well it went convincingly un-well with Ceo around! I got blueballed!"
>"Well I got no-balled!"
"Is it because you went on a date with Ceo?"
>"Yeah! Also I was a dick intruding on your date so I'm gonna do some community service!"
"As long as this isn't like one of those saturday morning cartoons where you force your help on people who don't want it and make everything worse."
>"Don't those usually end up working out, and the lesson learned is that you just have to force harder?"
"Maybe? If it is then you still shouldn't get your morals from saturday morning cartoons!"
>"They're not all bad! They have good messages Frillsby! I learned to love my claws because of all the monstermen on TV!"
"They have bad messages, too!"
>"That's not the point!"

>".... What was the point, again?"
No. 911400 ID: 65c9b9

monster claws are hot? I think thats the point we arrived at
No. 911402 ID: 298905

The point is you need your blueballs cured and, oh look, someone who wants to do "community service". Well two's company and three's a crowd and a crowd that stays in the same place long enough is going to be a community so with one dick plus two balls I'd say you've got a community in your pants that needs servicing!

Besides, with the luck you've been having the ghost will turn up to block you again, and that'll save you the effort of looking for him. Though probably it'll do some spooky thing where it only appears in exactly the place and exactly long enough for you to see it but not Gallsby. Maybe you should do something where you both face the same direction.

Anyway hope just being peeked at isn't considered cootiful because if I figure the layout of the room right then Ceo's had more than enough opportunity to scope your junk.
No. 911403 ID: 86eb65

The point is fun ghost adventures!

It's probably a standard Scooby-Doo case but you never know if there might be some actual haunting going on! If it is a Scooby-Doo thing we have to decide who gets to be Shaggy and raid the fridge.

Also how was he looking through the second story window at you anyways? Touch the Gallsby to ensure doppleganger status. In fact lets make the touching extensive just in case. (Get Ceo cooties all over him)

Once extensive lewd touching is achieved let him know about your Mayor/anti ghost powers theory. Then double up on it!

Get both of you carting Mayor around the house checking for ghosts.
No. 911410 ID: 72912c

The point is catching/unmasking the ghost just like in the cartoons, except not exactly like that because you're cops and not meddling kids!
And then you'll have time to "meddle" with each other like adults.
No. 911413 ID: 864e49

The point is you can do community service by helping me figure out what the hell is going on around here.
And then help me get my gay on later.
No. 911414 ID: eeb7d9

I agree. Claws are hella hot.
No. 911429 ID: 10c408

"The point was that cartoon have good messages.

For instance, I'm going to pour salt around all of the exterior windows and you can follow me around singing a certain themesong."
No. 911536 ID: 9125e0

Yep those claws are hella hot
I’m in agreement with that
No. 911550 ID: bad12e


Spook that spook away with a good old-fashioned dick sucking.
No. 911551 ID: afdebc

The point is we're hunting criminals and/or ghosts, and we can rub any leftover cooties off on them when we catch them.
No. 911818 ID: bfb318
File 154324002680.png - (71.30KB , 800x800 , 560.png )

"The point is to unmask that ghost like a saturday morning... scooby doo show. And that those cartoons have good messages, like how I'm going to pour salt over all the exterior windows and entrances to this place."

I forgot the bag of salt I brought upstairs, so I grab another bag of salt from the kitchen and touch Gallsby on the way to assure non-doppelganger shenanigans.

I'll have us go to the graveyard again, but first, the lines of salt.
No. 911819 ID: bfb318
File 154324003795.png - (94.63KB , 800x800 , 561.png )

"What's wrong with my line of salt, Gallsby?"
>"It looks like something else. Like... pepsi."
"Gallsby you're at three levels of abstraction now."
>"Yeah I'd better do something to focus! Frillsby do you have a straw?"
"Gallsby do not snort the salt you will actually die!"
>"I won't die!"
"We're done here we're going to the graveyard because I can't trust you around lines of salt now."
No. 911820 ID: bfb318
File 154324004417.png - (150.66KB , 900x600 , 562.png )

Graveyard's still looking grave. The right kind of grave. Ceo's light is still on, I notice.

>"Why're you so tense anyway? I mean more than usual." asks Gallsby.
"Because I got blueballed."
>"Villi did you like that?! I think Ceo might be evil."
"Not... exactly? Whatever."
>"Welllllll it just so happens that I mayyy have claimed that I wanted to slap some community service on my permanent record!"
>"That's a lot of thinking, but I bet you couldn't think of a single reason why your pants should stay up!"
No. 911822 ID: f78a46

"I can think of one. I'd rather not trip and land on my dick chasing criminals."
No. 911823 ID: 298905

That would be disrepectful to the dead!

You have to be properly outfitted as a goth before you're allowed have sex in a graveyard. It's the law.
No. 911825 ID: 86eb65

This is what you get for not doppelganger checking Gallsby. You end up with a crazy guy who thinks salt looks like Pepsi.

And somehow wants to snort it?

Hold off on letting the creepy salt snorting undead get your pants off.
No. 911830 ID: 09bde3

"I grab another bag of salt from the kitchen and touch Gallsby on the way to assure non-doppelganger shenanigans."

Already done, this is just Gallsby being weird.

Go check the spots you were at earlier!
No. 911831 ID: a4ee94

Salt looks nothing like Cocaine!

Guess we know that Gallsby does not have a candy nose if he made that rookie mistake.

Tell him that your balls must stay blue until the case is solved or we give up and get bored.

Once we unmask the ghost and it turns out its that creepy guy from the salvage yard then we can bone.
No. 911832 ID: eeb7d9

1: we are on the job.
2: we are in a greaveyard.
3: if gohsts do exist, it would be rude as fuck.
4: IF ghosts exist and are dangerous, it would be... well dangerous, to be caught with my pants down, no pun intended.
5: I'm not really in the mood. Kinda.
No. 911833 ID: b1b4f3

He's right you know. You can stand there and continue to look around with your flashlight while gallsby helps you out.
No. 911845 ID: c59a51

There will be time for that AFTER we take care of the ghost problem.
No. 911846 ID: 0c3c2c

Promise blowjobs AFTER you find the ghost.
No. 911867 ID: afdebc

I wonder how annoyed Mayor is going to be about having to clean up all that salt.

>>"That's a lot of thinking, but I bet you couldn't think of a single reason why your pants should stay up!"
I don't want a ghost flying up my butt, thank you very much.
No. 911875 ID: a9af05

Let's not goof around. Just because we're anti-magic, that doesn't mean we're anti-ghost!
No. 912623 ID: 15a025

We don't need the undead to haunt us for intruding on their bone zone.

Check out some of the other spots.
No. 913255 ID: bfb318
File 154412099430.png - (136.05KB , 800x800 , 563.png )

"I don't want to chase criminals or otherwise be on the job with my dick out, because I could trip and land on it. It would be painful to me and disrespectful to whoever's grave it is. Also rude to any actual ghosts, and I don't want to get haunted for messing around in their bone zone. Also I'm not in the mood. Kind of. Okay that one's a lie but the other things aren't. But there'll be time for it after finding the ghost."
>"Soooo if I understand this right... if there's no ghost, you'll never get a blowjob ever again?"
"... that's right. So we better either find a ghost, or find out who's been pretending to be a ghost around here!"
>"I'll call your bluff! I'll search all over for your ghost and watch as you give up!"
"Good! Get ready to actually work for hours!"
>"I will! Get ready to never have a blowjob again!"
"I don't need to get ready, because I will have one!"
No. 913256 ID: bfb318
File 154412101927.png - (79.49KB , 800x800 , 564.png )

Many hours later

I may never have a blowjob again.

I've searched all around the house, the graveyard, and the surrounding treeline and town and there's nothing out of the norm.

I left Gallsby to patrol around the house again. I'm not sure where he is now.

Then I hear something behind me.
No. 913258 ID: bfb318
File 154412114691.png - (172.28KB , 800x800 , 565.png )

I shine my flashlight onto a bedsheet.

>"OOooooohhohooooo!exclamation mark exclamation mark."

... it doesn't sound like a person.

>"It's me - e - e - e the jee-host of Mayor's mansion!"

It's one of those artificial text-to-speech programs.

>"You will be cursed forever unless you give Gallsbye a blowhard."

I see the light from a phone move around in the bedsheet.

>"blow bubbles"
>"suck dock"
>"what the fun is this bullhorn nanny application"

Oh my god, the sunrise is happening.
No. 913259 ID: 65c9b9

found a ghost time to blow it
No. 913260 ID: 91ee5f

>I may never have a blowjob again.
Well that sucks. But look at the bright side: You can still fuck Gallsby in the ass!

>Gallsby in a bedsheet
“Gallsby, I can see your feet. Did you think that after all the years we’ve lived together and all the times you put your feet on my lap and used me as a footrest, I wouldn’t recognize your feet?”
No. 913261 ID: 7540ce

Sure, go to a shop and get some bubble soap.
No. 913262 ID: c1212a

Quickly, bluff him! he's under a sheet and can't see, you can move him to a hiding place and tell him you were totally saving him from a ghost, no lie. It was right there!
No. 913263 ID: b1b4f3

Sigh and unzip your pants. Technically you found someone pretending to be a ghost.
No. 913264 ID: 86eb65

Fuck the ghost.
No. 913265 ID: eeb7d9

Wait a minute... GHOSTS DON'T HAVE FEET!
No. 913266 ID: 91ee5f

I’m pretty sure he can see, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to walk up to Frillsby without tripping on something.
No. 913267 ID: 10c408

You can afford to get distracted and/or sleep after the sun is, in fact, actually up.

You'd never live it down if one of you gets a BJ right now and your undead suspect suddenly appears.
No. 913268 ID: e1d580

That’s not Gallsby himself, it’s a dummy he’s using a phone app to project his voice from. Hence the censoring.
No. 913275 ID: 10c408

...Then how was the phone light moving under the sheet?
No. 913276 ID: 91ee5f

Yes it is Gallsby. He’s using his phone to make the voice.
No. 913294 ID: 9125e0

Bad Gallsby
Well this counts I guess
Blow some bubbles and scrub that dish
No. 913300 ID: afdebc

Hit him.
No. 913311 ID: 3cc68c

Fuck the ghost.
No. 913329 ID: 0c3c2c

Pin the ghost down and blow it.
No. 913370 ID: bfb318
File 154423594533.png - (120.88KB , 900x600 , 566.png )

"Ghosts don't have feet."


>"Don't be ghost racist."


>"Did you know ghost is actually spelled g-o-a-s-t, not jee-host, otherwise how come this thing says it like jee-host?"
No. 913371 ID: bfb318
File 154423597183.png - (121.94KB , 900x600 , 567.png )

>""Also ghosts can only see basic shapes what is happening over there?"
"I found someone pretending to be the ghost."
No. 913372 ID: bfb318
File 154423598715.png - (131.50KB , 800x800 , 568.png )

I push down on the ghost and pull up on the blanket

We're basically at the side of the house, not the graveyard, so I shouldn't get any weird burial ground curses for this.

I've waited hours for this.


>"Frillsby does your dick vibrate now?" Gallsby tries to say, sounding like he has a dick in his mouth for some unexplainable reason.

Also, the ringtone is 'Dirty Deeds Done with Sheep.' Which was the song I'm sure I put for Villi on Ceo's phone. I don't remember doing it on mine.

Either way, it's probably from Villi.
No. 913373 ID: b1b4f3

Answer it, but don't stop the blowjob.
No. 913375 ID: 91ee5f

Yeah, do this.
No. 913379 ID: 86eb65

Place the phone on the ghosts head and put it on speaker.
No. 913380 ID: e1d580

No. 913406 ID: 864e49

I bet you Ceo changed your ringtone at some point.
That or you somehow ended up with her phone.
No. 913423 ID: bfb318
File 154428192872.png - (97.12KB , 800x800 , 569.png )

I answer and put it on speaker.

>"Frillsby and Gallsby, police."
"Uh hi - "

Oh fuck that isn't Villi.

>" - I'm calling from the bakery phone and I think the cashier's fainted?"

Gallsby stop moving for a second, which might be best right now.

"Fainted? I thought Villi wasn't a fainting goat."
>"Well he's on his side with his face frozen in fear, isn't responding, and is still breathing and stuff, so that looks like a fainting goat to me. I figured I should call the police, because I'm not sure if I can legally grab some donuts and leave money if the cashier is out cold. Can I?"
No. 913425 ID: 86eb65

You can if we say its ok.

We will be down to check on the goat shortly. Thanks for the call.

So if that is not a prank I think I might have gotten a real ghost blowjob. Then peak and make sure this is Gallsby.

Hmmm this is either a ghost related prank call designed to get you away from the house. Or you got some sort of non magic doppleganger situation going on.

Lets get back into the house with Ceo and Mayor and maybe Villi and cuff everyone to everyone else before we go anywhere.
No. 913427 ID: 9125e0

Tell them its not ok to take any donuts its all evidence now and he's too remain at the coffe shop because hes now a suspect in this

Tell Gallsby to keep watch on the MAYOR's house not our house not Antoinos shirt store ether and if we need him well call him

Then make your way in the house to make sure Villi is still there and if not head to his coffee and donut shop to investigate the crime seen

Please tell me you have police tap or did Gallsby ruin it all.
No. 913429 ID: afdebc

>I'm not sure if I can legally grab some donuts and leave money if the cashier is out cold. Can I?
"I'll say you can.

"You mind eating your donuts there and keeping an eye on him for a few minutes until we get there?"

Time to put that dick away and go save a goat, blowjobs will have to wait.
No. 913434 ID: 0c3c2c

Well, have Gallsby stay here and watch Mayor. Also, request the caller give you their ID number and phone number, as well as their name and address.
No. 913435 ID: bad12e


When in high heck did that goat stop getting footy boob-jobs and go back to work?!
No. 913437 ID: 65c9b9

its been a few hours so maybe they went off to the bakery but the more likly explanation is that someone shapeshifted into Villie and he passed out from shear sex appeal of himself, and then the shapeshifter wound up going with Ceo to get a footboobjob
No. 913438 ID: b1b4f3

He's in the bakery? But he was just here. ...he left after finishing up with Ceo to go back to work, of course.
Tell the customer not to steal anything, you'll be there in a bit.
Finish blowjob (hurry it up) and get in the car to drive over.
No. 913441 ID: eeb7d9

No you can't, that is illegal and we would have to apprehend you. Call an ambulance or whatever resembles that in this town.

The one fucking Ceo wasn't Villi! Nor wasn't Villi the one that sucked your dick! That is doble sex without consent! We need to go and look for Ceo and Mayor!
No. 913442 ID: 10c408

Tell the person on the other end that there might be crime afoot and that the police are now involved. And if they rip Villi off there will be DOUBLE crime involved and they won't get away with it. Just stay put and don't let the fainted goat-boy go anywhere.

Double check your perimeter and what the status is on villi and Ceo. It's doubtful that the one here is a fake since you did straddle his chest for him to suck you off, but either he left and then fainted or there's two of them now.
No. 913444 ID: 745eba

Frillsby touched Villi though, so it can't be someone else magically shapeshifted to look like him
No. 913445 ID: becba8

You can buy the donuts on your own, but you can't abandon Villi if you thing he is having a medical emergency. Call an ambulance and wait until they get there.
No. 913460 ID: 75c493

He went back to the bakery without being noticed during your patrol?
No. 913462 ID: b1b4f3

>the Villi here was an impostor
Did you forget that he's a workaholic? And also that a shapeshifter would've been dispelled by Frillsby's dick?
No. 913463 ID: daa216

Did Villi die? Did we get sucked off by a ghost Villi?
No. 913473 ID: 15a025

Say they can, but to please keep an eye on the cashier until you can arrive to the scene.

Before heading out, check and make sure Villi actually left the mansion.
No. 913646 ID: bfb318
File 154449306536.png - (127.66KB , 800x800 , 570.png )

"No. Stay there and keep an eye on him, we'll be right over."

I hang up. Double blue balled, I guess.

>"Let me change real quick!" says Gallsby, who runs inside. I'm not sure he was wearing pants.

While I get to the car, I message Ceo.

"Is Villi there?"

Luckily, she responds.

>"Nah, he left for the bakery hours ago."

I guess he left. Considering by the time he left Gallsby and I widened our search beyond the house and graveyard, it's not surprising that he left without us seeing. Either way, I'm still not dealing with any shapeshifters or doppelgangers.
No. 913647 ID: bfb318
File 154449317649.png - (173.44KB , 900x500 , 571.png )

We get to the bakery like there's a blowout sale, or a collapsed goat in need of assistance.

Once we're both inside, Villi's standing up at his register. There's someone sitting in the nearby chair that if I had to put my life savings down on, I'd say is the caller.

"Villi. Are you alright? And you, sir, stay there for a moment."
"Y-yes I'm fine! I'm sorry to cause problems!"
>"Are you sorry for being sorry too?" asks Gallsby.
>"Well stop!"
"Is it true you fainted?"
"Yyyyes again. I couldn't move! I'm sorry, I wasn't, uh, hurt or anything, but, um, I thought I stopped being a fainting goat."
>"Hold it." says Gallsby. "You can just 'stop' being a fainting goat?"
"Er, well, yes, I mean I'm sorry if what I said before was misleading, but I used to be a fainter, but then I got a resistance! That's the silver lining of my childhood, I guess!"
>"Tell me about your childhood." says Gallsby.
"One time in elementary school, a kid asked me if I was a fainting goat. I said yes!"

"That might have been the worst mistake of my life. But it gave me resistance to where I could proudly say I'm not a fainter! Except now..."
"Yeah we got off topic. What happened?"
"I was robbed! At knifepoint!"
No. 913648 ID: 86eb65

Pull out your notebook and start doing police work. Ask him for the description and if there are any cameras nearby.

Have Gallsby dust the goat for prints.
No. 913650 ID: 6c5a99

It's legit police time!! Get the deets! Secure the witness! Ask if anyone saw anything or anyone suspicious!
No. 913651 ID: daa216

Was he robbed by a ghost? Or a ghost wearing a white sheet? This could be the big break in the case we needed.
No. 913655 ID: 9125e0

Did the suspect oz ectoplasm, did or did not he say Phrases like OOOoooOOOOoooohhhh or other ghastly wails, was his or her penis visible? was the suspect wearing a bedsheet or other type of cloth possibly torn? did the purp have a green purple or blue glow? How much money did the asshole make off with?

Also, did he smell like Onien

On the blowjob karma scale what would you rate the events that are occurring Frillsby, You were blue balled twice, maybe our friend came to town for some eggs or something
No. 913657 ID: 91ee5f

The look on Frillsby’s face just let’s you know how uncomfortable he is. He’s sleep deprived and blue balled!

I wonder what’s going to happen first, he passes out from lack of sleep or he finally gets his rocks off?
No. 913658 ID: afdebc

Interview the goat and the other witness there. Find out how the robbery went down, what was stolen, a description of the suspect, find out if Vivi has any cameras. Try not to leave the other guy waiting in the corner forever either, since he was helpful and actually called this is.
No. 913669 ID: bb78f2

Oh no, a case when we're tired as hell. We need the legally questionable energy drink if we're gonna crack it!
No. 913670 ID: 10c408

Alright, as important as police business is, the polite thing to do is for Villi and his customer to handle their business while you get information from both of them.

Nothing can possibly go wrong with this.
No. 913683 ID: 65c9b9

relize that there is some universal constant GAY FORCE that you have upset by kissing a girl (ew) and it will not allow you to have an orgasm until you go to the roof and shout "I AM GAY! AND I LOVE BOY PENIS!" and its making trouble in town every time you get close to orgasm so for the safety of the town you must publicly reassert your gayness
No. 913690 ID: b151ce

Thank the call-in dude for callin' in and ask him what he saw when he came in if Villi is low on details. Also ensure that he got his pastries.
No. 913736 ID: 6c5a99

Do you know what the robber took? I mean if they were a robber and he fainted then they would have taken something while he was out, right? What's missing?
No. 913791 ID: bfb318
File 154463328891.png - (137.27KB , 800x800 , 572.png )

>Consider karma for all of this
Darrin the karma-bringer is probably not in town, but I don't know because even if there is karma going on, I have done nothing to deserve most of today.

>Consider universal gay force
I hope Darrin doesn't have a sibling with similar magic powers. That would be too much.

"Alright. Run me through it. What time was it, and what did this person look like?"
>"It was about 5:19, I know because it was about time to bring out the bread but the timer hadn't dinged at 5:50 yet. Uh, then someone who I thought was a customer came in! He had knives! So many knives, and he walked right up to the counter and yelled 'gimme the dough!'"

Villi looks down.

"Then I fainted."
"How much did he steal?"
"A box of assorted donuts and an entire cake!"
"How much money?"
"Oh right sixty dollars! I start with 150 in the register though so that was nice of him to only take 60."
"No, Villi, it wasn't nice!"
"W-well it could've been worse!"
"That doesn't mean it was nice! Do you have any cameras?"
"I do but it's only for show... that was dumb in hindsight!"
"Did the criminal look like a ghost?"
No. 913792 ID: bfb318
File 154463329736.png - (138.70KB , 800x800 , 573.png )

"... no?"
"Not even someone in a bedsheet?"


"No, that wasn't a bedsheet."
"Any monstrous noises come from him?"
"Er... can you give me an example?"
".... oooOOOOOoooOooohhh."

Villi shakes his head. I do other impressions of some of the unworldly noises I heard, and Gallsby does the same even though he never heard him. I can't imitate them at all and Gallsby is just making noises. We all look stupid.

"It was all intelligible words! I don't know if it's the graveyard person, but are you sure the person in the graveyard was a monster or ghost?"
"There were definitely spooky monster noises."
"He seemed well spoken when he robbed me! What if he showed up in the graveyard to keep you two busy there while he robbed people in town?!"
>"Clearly we're dealing with a criminal mastermind." says Gallsby.
"No, that has too many ifs and b- ifs to be master of anything."
>"Frillsby did you just omit 'buts' from your sentence so I couldn't quip about them?"
"You're damn right Gallsby."
>"Now's not the time for that! Don't worry Villi, we'll question the first shifty eyed, rat faced, criminal looking guy we see!"
No. 913794 ID: bfb318
File 154463335666.png - (97.51KB , 800x800 , 574.png )


>"Villi aren't you going to say whether or not this is the criminal?"
"I- I wasn't going to say that!"
>"So he is the criminal?"
"No but if I said that right away without provocation, I'd be calling him a shifty-eyed rat faced criminal looking guy!"

"Which he's nnn-...nnnoooot....?"

Villi immediately moves into a new sentence, and talks about what the perp looked like. Apparently a lot of knives floating around him, and what may have been either scarves or belts or tattered clothes. He had one horn, but that may have been a big knife on his head, he isn't sure. Over the course of the description, it's made clear to us that the criminal was in possession of knives.

>"Hey so can I get that donut already?" asks the shifty eyed, rat faced, criminal looking guy.
"Right I'll get that!"
"Gallsby I got a dusting kit and put it in the car. Can you dust Villi and stuff around here for prints?"
>"Yes Frillsby I definitely can do that thing you're as - "
"I'm hella tired, I'm allowed to ask stupid questions! Wait, Villi, was the criminal furry?"
"There's not going to be any prints, then. Okay, Mister...?"


"What's your name?"
"Tell me what you saw when you came in."
>"This bakery which looks like how it does now, and that goat, except horizontal. Oh, I didn't see the perp, but I've practiced forensic drawing before if you wanna hand me a pencil and paper."
No. 913795 ID: 3deaa4


Couldn't hurt. Here, have this sketchpad I've been doodling on while interviewing Villi.

Also, what's that on Villi's horn? How'd it end up there?

Tell Gallsby to see if there are any outside actual functional cameras on other nearby stores that might've caught grainy spooky footage of the perp as he moved into Villi's shop.
No. 913796 ID: 6c5a99

>gimme the dough

So either this guy likes puns, or he actually came in here wanting to make a purchase and Villi misinterpreted him because he had magic that tragically made knives float uncontrollably around him. Is Villi sure he had 120 dollars in the till to begin with? How much would the food that was taken have cost to buy? What time was it when Villi fainted, and what time is it now? Could someone else have wandered in and taken the money or the food seperately?
No. 913797 ID: 91ee5f

>it's only for show...that was dumb in hindsight!
Yes, it is.

Let this be a lesson and you should get a working camera.

>talks about what the perp looked like. Apparently a lot of knives floating around him, and what may have been either scarves or belts or tattered clothes.
Frillsby, do you know what this means? You’re dealing with an anime character!

>Oh, I didn't see the perp, but I've practiced forensic drawing before if you wanna hand me a pencil and paper.
That’s unusually convenient. Either he’s lying or he’s telling the truth and the universe is trying to make it up to you for getting you blue balled twice.

There’s only one way to find out. Hand him a pencil and paper.

>Also, what's that on Villi's horn?
It’s a donut.

>How'd it end up there?
He probably fell on it when he fainted.
No. 913799 ID: 86eb65

Practicing forensic drawing? That sounds like something a shifty criminal would say!

Just joking. We would be very thankful if you would art it up for us.
No. 913800 ID: b1b4f3

No. 913802 ID: 0c3c2c

Let's give it a whirl. We can take this mysterious witness along for questioning and drawing. And possibly ear rubs.
No. 913836 ID: bb78f2

What's your stand power?
No. 913855 ID: afdebc

>"I do but it's only for show... that was dumb in hindsight!"
A deterrent is better than nothing, even if it didn't work here.

>Oh, I didn't see the perp, but I've practiced forensic drawing before if you wanna hand me a pencil and paper.
Sure, couldn't hurt.

Thank Russel for his patience and for calling this in. Ask what time he got here so we can establish a timeline. (The perp was here at 5:19 and had left by...?).
No. 913869 ID: 9125e0

His eyes are too shifty.......dont give him the pencil and if you do point out that if he trys to stab you Gallsby will stab him back
No. 913870 ID: 10c408

We can't determine when the perp left since Villi had a severe case of fainting goat syndrome and Russel arrived late. We can narrow it down to when russel arrived though, but it's probably about the time he called us.

Barring any further unlikely witnesses, our best bet is to get other evidence first.

Starting with the donut stuck on Vili's horn, that evidence is absolutely crucial.
No. 913938 ID: bfb318
File 154474449713.png - (112.23KB , 800x800 , 575.png )

"I don't see why not. Gallsby, can you go to the nearby buildings and check if they have security cameras?"
>"On it! Just give me like 3 hours for when the rest of the block opens for business. Except for Randy, I'll go check his place out since he's open all the time."
"If you order food, get me something too. Speaking of that, is that a cookie on your horn, Villi?"
"Huh? It is! I wasn't anywhere near any cookies, how'd that even...?"
"And Russell, what time did you get here?"
>"I dunno, a minute or two before I called, probably."

I got the call at 5:34, So 'probably' just after 5:30. Apparently Villi faints for awhile.

"Villi, can you describe what the burglar looked like so Russell can draw it?"

I hand my pencil and notebook to Russell, and he starts scribbling furiously as Villi describes him, and Russell asks various questions about specific looks.

Then he keeps scribbling in silence.

... "Russ - "
>"Hold on!"

He continues scribbling. This is apparently something that needs extreme detail.

>"Okay! Done!"
"Let's see what you got, Russel."
No. 913939 ID: bfb318
File 154474450458.png - (163.57KB , 800x800 , 576.png )

No. 913941 ID: afdebc

Well, he's distinctive at least. Unless he can put the blades away.

This is a perfectly ordinary question that as magical gay policemen we have to ask everyone, so don't be offended, but just to confirm: your magic power isn't turning into Blademan or something like that, right?
No. 913942 ID: b1b4f3

Thanks Russel. Thanks a lot.
Ask Villi if that looks right.
No. 913943 ID: eeb7d9

Ok, that looks pretty cool. But how much did you added in that pic? Or does he really look like that? We need a precise picture of the perpetrator in order to identify him. Also, are making us lose time. We can punish you for that, you know?
Then again, that is a pretty cool fucking drawing.
No. 913945 ID: b1b4f3

Oh, and check where the cookies are. If the criminal put a cookie on Villi while leaving, he may have left evidence on or near the cookie jar or whatever.
No. 913947 ID: 91ee5f

Well, Villi did say the robber came in and said “gimme the dough!” Maybe it was someone that bakes cookies and ran out of dough, so they came here to get some dough from Villi?

We already know Villi is missing $60 in the money dough, but what about the food kind of dough? Is he missing any of that kind of dough?

I was right! We are dealing with an anime character!

Show it to Villi to see if this is right!

And also compliment Russell‘s amazing drawing skills!
No. 913955 ID: 86eb65

I will pin this masterpiece to the official police fridge.

Thank you for your hard work citizen.

Then salute him and go check those cameras.
No. 913957 ID: 0c3c2c

Holy shit, we're looking for a guy who KICKS ASS.

Once we beat the shit out of him, we should totally get his autograph. Then throw him in a cell.
No. 913971 ID: de6d84

Amazing picture. Thank him for it.
No. 913990 ID: bfb318
File 154480609130.png - (158.63KB , 800x800 , 577.png )

Well, I was listening in to Villi's description, and this drawing does fit that criteria.

"Your magic power isn't turning into blademan, is it?"
>"I wish it was."
"What is it, then?"
>"I can make small objects in people's peripheral vision move a little bit."
"That's heinous."
>"I know."
"Remember to use your power responsibly. Villi, does your burglar look like Blade Man?"
"... he... kind of reminds me of him? Maybe?"

"I think... um... okay, I'm really just remembering Blade Man now. I think he replaced the actual burglar in my head."
"Great. Well, thanks, Russell. It's a masterpiece."
>"I know."
"Oh, I almost have your donuts now! I was able to save the next batch in time."
No. 913991 ID: bfb318
File 154480612105.png - (150.72KB , 800x800 , 578.png )

"Do you happen to own a cookie jar, Villi?"
"Oh, yes, I keep it over here on the - ah?!"
"What's wrong?"
"The lid is askew!"
"Is it?" I take a picture of it.
"It's supposed to be lined up with the rest of the jar, otherwise it looks all wrong! Ah, he took a couple cookies! Wh-who would do this?!"
"... the criminal?"
"Er, right, but... how did y-you know to check that?"
"I suspect our criminal put a cookie on your horn."
"Why, you ask? I don't know. The motive is missing. Maybe he thinks of crime as fun and games. Either way, stealing from the cookie jar is only one item on the list of offenses. What about the rest of your dough?"
"I checked it, if there's anything else missing it's really minor stuff, like from the cookie jar!"

I see no other evidence left behind, inside or around the cookie jar.

I get a message from Gallsby.

It's a video from Randy's security camera.
No. 913993 ID: bfb318
File 154480618359.png - (549.31KB , 800x800 , 579.png )

Or it's... some kind of data from his camera. There's a car that drives by that I don't recognize, and it's the only car that drives by during the time of burglary.

"Do you recognize this car, Russell?" I ask while he eats his donut.
>"Is there supposed to be a car on your phone?"
"Yes. Did you see a car driving around before you found Villi?"
>"Like, anytime before?"
"No, not 'anytime'. When you were walking here."
>"Maybe I saw some brake lights, yeah. But not the car or anything like that."

It's so dark, and the video is in such bad quality that I can barely make out there's a car at all, let alone the kind of car, license plate, driver, or any other details.
No. 913994 ID: 65c9b9

the only person in town that we know has a car is Ceo's friend so lets call her. (thats how cars work right everyone knows each other?)
No. 913995 ID: 10c408

That's not Poe's car, so he's out of the list of suspects.

Text Gallsby back, ask which way the car went when it left Villi's. Maybe it got caught on someone else's camera.
No. 913998 ID: b1b4f3

If he skipped town there's not much you can do. Let's see if we can follow the trail anyway, what's in the direction the car is going?
No. 914000 ID: eeb7d9

I am starting to see a patern here. He steals mony, but not all of it, he takes cookies, puts them on wierd places, uses blades. The culprit is an asshole! Case closed.
But really, the guy is just pissing off, is more of a clown than a creiminal. We need to look for people who are assholes and are really anoying.
No. 914006 ID: a62780

You can tell a couple of details:
2-doors, that windshield that pretty much touches the sunroof which itself pretty much touches the door windows.
The vague shape in the rear window seems a bit too central and far back in the car to be the back of a seat, it might be part of a roll-bar.

Not much but it's something, perhaps blademan fancies himself as a motorhead maybe?
No. 914097 ID: bad12e


Clearly this is the work of Crime Dude, whose power causes cameras to go to shit. Good thing Villi's fake cameras are unaffected.
No. 914199 ID: bb78f2

That still looks like a pretty unique car, design wise.

Go find a car nerd, he might be able to pin the the make and model of the car from its window design, then we can go do detective work by looking up all cars in the town to see if they match.

It's SLOW work, but it's the closest thing to detective work you cops have done since you probably started the job.
No. 914218 ID: b1b4f3

So the thief stole 60 dollars, leaving the till with 90? Very nice.
No. 914307 ID: 7f0aac

>Took $60
>Left $90
>69 is the sex number
>Ceo is horny as heck

Oh jeez the criminal was Ceo in disguise telling Villi she's up for another kinky footrub date …!
No. 914600 ID: b151ce

Hm ok so just a check here, how much was the cake and donut box and the missing cookies worth

You have to track this guy down probably anyway but it's a good thing to check
No. 914819 ID: 15a025

See if there's any other out place items or evidence hiding around? They may have left a crumb trail for us to follow.
No. 915969 ID: bfb318
File 154646316939.png - (148.64KB , 800x800 , 580.png )

"Villi, take stock of everything. Tell me everything that's missing, down to the most miniscule donut."

As it happens, I've got Poe's number. I give him a call while I search for any other evidence left behind.

>Oh jeez the criminal was Ceo in disguise telling Villi she's up for another kinky footrub date …!
If this is true then I'm banning Ceo from Dorb.

>"Who's speaking?"
"Frillsby. Dorb police."
>"My fine's coming in the mail!"
"Yeah this is about something else, Poe. I need your help."
>"Is it Ceo?"
"No. I have security footage of a car, but I can't make it out. Can you take a look and see what manner of automobile I'm looking at?"
>"Oh, er, sure but... why me? Did Ceo say I was a car nerd?"
"No. Just a second, I'm sending the video over." I press the buttons to make it so. "But you own a car, so I thought you might know."
>"You think I might know this random car, because I own one car?"
"They're basically all the same, right?"
>"Ehhh... I mean there's a lot of similarities, and it does looks like they look to each other for inspiration to the point that there's this weird echo chamber in designing principles, but-"
"I'm sorry I asked."
>"Er, right. The point is, I'm not a car expert, so I can't just name any car apart from ones I've owned, and ones that have bigass letters saying what it is on the side of the door!"

>"Like how this car has Trans Am written there."
"You can read that?"
>"Uh, not easily, but I can't think of any other cars that have letters there, like that. So er, fine, you won, it's a Trans Am.... probably from the 1980s or 90s."

From the direction it's going on Randy's video, it did go down the road from Villi's to drive by Randy's. Other businesses down the road will open up soon, and if we're lucky then they have camera, too. And if we're very lucky, they'll even be good cameras, but I can't hope that hard.
No. 915970 ID: 86eb65

Do cars still need to be registered in whatever country Dorb is in? If so might want to check for local registrations.

Check the cameras in the other shops and see if there were any witnesses to this dastardly crime.

Also do we know anyone in town that can CSI up the footage with super enhance powers?
No. 915971 ID: 0c3c2c

Alright, we're looking for a dark 1980s Transam, possibly black, dark blue or dark green. Let's check the other businesses.
No. 915978 ID: b1b4f3

Tell him thanks. If you can do some kind of DMV lookup on transams in the county or close by, that will give us a list of suspects.
No. 915983 ID: a9af05

Ask if he can read the license plate?

If not, thank him for the help, then hang up the phone. Then start following the car to try and find it.
No. 916390 ID: bfb318
File 154673981519.png - (93.88KB , 800x600 , 581.png )

"Thanks. Do I dare hope you can read the license plate?"
>"You can dare all you like, if you like disappointment."
"I don't. Thanks for your help, Poe."
>"My pleasure."

>Also do we know anyone in town that can CSI up the footage with super enhance powers?
No, we're still on the lookout for someone with the magical powers of zoom and enhance.

>Do cars still need to be registered in whatever country Dorb is in?
They sure do. If they do is a whole other matter, but it's worth a check. I don't have a license plate number, but how many 80's Trans Ams actually exist in this day and age? Not many, I bet.

I'd follow the car, but by now there's several different directions he could have gone in. To decide where to go without any more information would be akin to divination in the form of Gallsby throwing a dart on a roadmap. So instead, I start looking up Trans Am registrations.

One thing that hasn't changed is that the government's online sites for this still suck real bad. Villi lends me his laptop while he gets ready for the morning rush, and I get to work on actual investigation. He also hands me coffee, which I didn't ask for, but here I am drinking it.
No. 916391 ID: bfb318
File 154673982799.png - (161.98KB , 800x800 , 582.png )

Gallsby comes back with surveillance. He received 3 new videos, and not a single live witness.

Two of the videos are no better than Randy's, so I store them in a new detective case folder.

The last video is in front of a street lamp, and I see that it's reddish. Maroon, fuschia, dark red, something like that. What I can't see is the license plate, because the camera only points straight forward and couldn't see to the sides.

"Gallsby this security camera has a field of view of like two degrees."
>"An entire five, Frillsby! The owner wouldn't be quiet about it. Never buy things that look too cheap to be true, he told me."

I'm still able to look up registered Trans Ams. There's dozens. I put the extremely distant ones, and the ones registered to people with no criminal record, at the bottom of the list, and loosely organize them with the most suspicious at the top.

>"That's a list of possible suspects, huh?"
"Or someone else entirely. I'm going go down the list, calling each one."
>"That's too much phone, Frillsby."
"Got a better idea?"
>"Don't do that."
"I'm going to do that."
>"Wait, I have a better-better idea. There's only so many towns around here, right? We can call up their police and ask them to keep an eye out for a Trans Am!"
"Gallsby, that... that is not a bad idea."
>"Don't sound surprised!!"
"Then don't surprise me!"

Gallsby borrows Villi's room to make his calls, while I make mine.
No. 916392 ID: bfb318
File 154673983691.png - (126.85KB , 800x800 , 583.png )

By working hard on this investigation for awhile, I'm painfully reminded that investigating is hard work. Ceo stops by to pick up some coffee for Mayor, and learns about the robbing. Ceo makes some threats of bodily harm that Villi correctly astutes are not going to happen, partially because I am a cop and won't let it, and partially because the threats she makes are physiologically impossible.

She's already starting to look over Villi's insurance for stuff like this instead, while I get lost in the work for an hour or two.

Once the last 10 calls I've made feel like they were all grasping at straws, I give it a rest. Out of a total of 35 calls, I've got 3 possible leads. I jot them down so I won't forget them like Ceo's forgotten about Mayor's now lukewarm coffee.

Wizzy Lizzy - Male, 43. Mechanic. He owns 3 Trans Ams. Apparently, he's a popular mechanic to go to for that kind of car. It's unlikely his three Trans Ams are the one in question, but he saves details on every Trans Am he's worked on.
Gahn Ilia - Male, 29. Car dealer. Had a Trans Am, but sold it two years ago. When asked for details, he suddenly says he must have lost the paperwork.
Montgomery Smith - Male, 38. Trucker, and car collector. He once tried to start up a car show business, but he had no business sense, so now he just has a collection of slightly interesting cars laying around. When notified the police wanted to ask about a Trans Am, he hung up, and hasn't answered any returned calls.
No. 916394 ID: bfb318
File 154673988534.png - (139.34KB , 800x800 , 584.png )

Gallsby comes back down with his own leads.

>"Okay here's a map of our region."
"It has a very hand drawn look to it."
>"You know I've never gotten a printer working in my life, and I never will! So this big circle is how far he could've gone if he drove 90 miles per out straight in a direction. I notified these places so far but it's getting tough to keep up in this ever widening circle!"
"He's got to sleep sometime."

I see Villi go to take out a batch of bread for lunchtime.

No. 916399 ID: 86eb65

If he gets that far he is way outside our jurisdiction at that point.

If he is a local we can do our thing. If he is some fly by night wanderer we can only go so far.

Put a map over Gallsby's map and see if there are any small towns nearby he might have stopped at if he left.

I would say check the mechanic first. But the other two are being suspicious. Possibly the third guy first.
No. 916401 ID: b1b4f3

Did you rule out the trans ams that are the wrong color?
First, see if you can get any photos of Gahn Ilia or Montgomery Smith. Should be simple to get one of the former, as car dealerships like to put a face to their business. I doubt the latter will be as simple.
Then assuming you don't immediately spot the crook, go talk to the mechanic. Bring the "picture" of the crook and the shitty picture of the car. Also the color sample.
No. 916404 ID: 15a025

Gahn Ilia and Smith sound suspicious, but I feel like they might be hanging up out of fear the cars they sold or got were stolen.

I'd say check with Wizzy Lizzy first. Show him the footage and the photo with decent color visibility. Maybe ask if he knows the other two guys as well?
No. 916406 ID: 10c408

Ask villi to guesstimate how hold knife man was.
No. 916408 ID: 0c3c2c

These three don't sound like our suspect. Maybe a relative. Gahn and Montgomery will be the two first calls, I think.
No. 916420 ID: 91ee5f

>the threats she makes are physiologically impossible.
You don’t know that. If she’s pissed off enough, she may be capable of actually doing those things!

>I see Villi go to take out a batch of bread for lunchtime.
Villi said none of the dough for his special “keep you awake” donuts was stolen, right?

Or was that just his magic power and the donuts are normal donuts?

>Frillsby’s face
It is now very obvious that you have not gotten any sleep at all. Hopefully you can stay awake long enough to catch the bad guy! Otherwise, you’ll have to let an unsupervised Gallsby find him!
No. 916643 ID: 4dbee9

You guys are looking at this all wrong. And by all wrong I mean way to closely.

You're missing the forest for the trees, and it's a forest of defining features. We think he drove a Trans Am while committing the crime, but there's the very real possibility that the perpetrator walked a certain distance before entering a vehicle, and that your Trans Am is complete coincidence.

What you do have is a possible modus operandi, which is worth a lot. How many people walk around committing armed robbery with magic knives? Not many, I'd wager. That little pice of info, then you've got the fact that he chose to take less than half the cash in the register; leading me to believe this either was not a mad cash grab, or this person felt guilty about stealing.

If the former, it's not much of a stretch to assume the he is an experienced criminal who has a certain level of caution, a level of caution that led him to take only a portion of the cash. If he is a practiced criminal as I suspect, than he must have committed previous crimes. Rather than giving them a goose-chase car description, you should be cross referencing the perp's MO with police files. They probably already have a file on him, assuming he's committed crimes in the past, and a file full of info will do you far more good than sniffing around a mechanics shop.

Or, you know, maybe I'm getting too serious about this. Maybe we should just let magical gay police luck bring us to the perp rather than using conventional, grueling police methods.

Detective Phelps, signing off.
No. 917402 ID: bfb318
File 154733430780.png - (130.94KB , 800x800 , 585.png )

>Did you rule out the trans ams that are the wrong color?
I'm reducing the suspicion level on the wrong color cars, but paint jobs exist, and it's tough enough relying on car registration let alone keeping track of who gets paint jobs.

>Jurisdiction concern
The longer I take the longer our criminal has to drive off, but that just increases the inconvenience. We're allowed to pursue criminals outside of our jurisdiction, if their criminal act was done in our jurisdiction.

Sometimes I think of all the weird magic people have like Villi's ability to stay up from normal, non-magical donuts, but I could use that about now. I barely slept last night. I can power on though, fueled by nothing more than the thought of this investigation being carried out by an unsupervised Gallsby.

I get another idea, though, but I'm already spread thin. So I call Yams, first.

>"Hi, Frillsby! Uh er this is Frillsby right and not someone using his phone?"
"Hi Yams, it's me."
>"What's going down? Need something lifted?"
"Yeah. I need police records in neighboring towns lifted into my brain, specifically crimes committed with blades. Possibly with only a portion of the cash stolen."
>"I'm on it! And if you need anything literally lifted, you know where to call!"
"Thanks, Yams." I hang up.

>How old was the criminal?
Villi said something about looking kind of young, but maybe early 30's at his oldest.
No. 917405 ID: bfb318
File 154733434021.png - (157.06KB , 800x800 , 586.png )

I've called all three of my possible leads already to learn what I have, and anything else has to be done in person.

I find pictures for Montgomery and Gahn. Villi confirms neither of them look anything like the perp, so I'll head to the mechanic. He seemed cooperative, but didn't feel comfortable giving privy info to people over the phones.

"Come on Gallsby, we're going to Wizzy Lizzy. Bring your map."
"Here's some stuff for the road!" says Villi, suddenly feeling generous. More generous than usual, that is.
No. 917406 ID: bfb318
File 154733435670.png - (206.95KB , 800x800 , 587.png )

I drive. Gallsby keeps making calls to various surrounding towns, jotting down places on his map. After the sun gets high enough to start frying my eyes, we reach a small, unassuming looking mechanic's shop simply called 'Wizzy's'. We go in and find who I figure is Wizzy Lizzy, mostly because that's what's on his nametag.

>"Hey, there." he says. His voice sounds two octaves too low for what's appropriate. "What'chu need?"
No. 917407 ID: 86eb65

Car stuff.
No. 917411 ID: b1b4f3

Well that's obviously not blademan, he's got no ears.

Ask him about trans ams, see if he's done any work on any recently. Also show him the picture, see if he recognizes the perp.
No. 917427 ID: 0c3c2c

Request information on all Trans Ams he's seen lately with a dark paintjob and male drivers.
No. 917482 ID: a9af05

Tell him that you were the one that called earlier. Then both of you show him your badges and ask him your questions.
No. 917502 ID: 91ee5f

>show him your badges
Wait, do they have badges yet? I know Frillsby mentioned that they didn’t have badges before.

Because we should probably ask Mayor for some badges, next chance we get.
No. 919186 ID: 5fc3a0
File 154859686351.png - (123.74KB , 800x800 , 588.png )

"Car stuff."
>"Coincidentally, car stuff is what I do."
"I'm looking for someone. They drive a Trans Am. I called earlier."
>"Oh yes, I remember that, officers."
"I have this picture. It's... maybe it'll help."

I show him Blade Man. Lizzy Wizzy adjusts his glasses a bunch of time, squinting.

>"Hmm? This fellow reminds me of all those times my father told me put the nintendo down."
"Does he also remind you of someone who looks like that?"
>"Oh, yes, this must be Samson. Yes. Came by a few months ago. He stood right over there in that corner, juggling knives. Weren't any other customers to scare off, so I let him juggle his heart out."
>"Can we see all the forms he filled out with his personal data?" asks Gallsby.

Without a second of hesitation, Lizzy says 'sure'. I still don't have my badge and all I said was that I'm a cop, so I'm very concerned about all the private information that I've ever put on forms. I don't call him out on it now, because it's very convenient for me.

>"Wow really just like that?" Gallsby is trying to jinx everything now I guess.
>"Normally I wouldn't, but..."
No. 919187 ID: 5fc3a0
File 154859687809.png - (147.18KB , 900x600 , 589.png )

Lizzy shuffles through some paperwork and finds it, handing it to me.

Samson Hamson. Lives on 1234 5th Street, Villesville, 09876.

>"Didn't notice the obvious fake info till I put my glasses after he left."
"Hold on, this phone number down here... looks less fake."
>"Naw, I thought so too, but that's the number you get if you spell FUC-KOFF on the keypad, pardon the language. Oh, but that reminds me, we traded numbers at the end. Said I could call him on his personal cell if I ever wanted to sell some more antiques, and he gave me a different number."

He looks at his phone, and shows me the number.

>"I guess you could try, if you wanted to call him up."
No. 919192 ID: 86eb65

As it turns out we do have some antiques we want to sell!

Can we track down any info from that number before we try calling it/having this guy call it?
No. 919195 ID: 0c3c2c

Try the second number.
No. 919197 ID: b1b4f3

Ask him if he wouldn't mind calling Samson himself and offering to sell an antique to him. It'd be more believable that way. All we have to do is lure him over here, and we can catch him.
No. 919200 ID: 91ee5f

>this must be Samson. Yes. Came by a few months ago. He stood right over there in that corner, juggling knives. Weren't any other customers to scare off, so I let him juggle his heart out.
He juggles knives? It sounds like might be some kind of performer.

>I still don't have my badge and all I said was that I'm a cop, so I'm very concerned about all the private information that I've ever put on forms. I don't call him out on it now, because it's very convenient for me.
>"Wow really just like that?" Gallsby is trying to jinx everything now I guess.
You might want to consider getting badges before you finally run out of luck and Gallsby ends up jinxing it!

This should work.
No. 919211 ID: bddb0f


Thank the nice man.

Also: couldn't you try looking up the second number in, I don't know, a phone registry to get an ID?

If you call him, you'll warn him. If you get an ID with an address where he lives, you can try visiting him.
No. 919212 ID: bddb0f


Oh, and although the 'lure the perp in' plan sounds good on paper we WOULD be involving this gentleman in in police business and possibly put him at personal risk - if not now, then later, once the perp has done his time. We PROBABLY shouldn't involve the civilian any more than he already is unless knife guy suddenly upgrades from 'weird shop thief dingus' to 'dangerous criminal to apprehend ASAP'.
No. 919254 ID: 5fc3a0
File 154868288797.png - (138.09KB , 800x800 , 590.png )

"Gallsby, can you look that number up?"
>"Already on it."

I throw Mayor a text asking where the heck those badges are at! She claims they're supposed to show up today.

>"What'd he do, anyway?" asks Lizzy.
"Theft by knifepoint."
>"Didn't hurt anyone, I hope. He seemed like he was the type to get up to no good, but not the type to do the real bad stuff."
"No, but he's left a long trail of bread crumbs behind him, and the bread crumbs are crimes."

>"Get a load of this guy." says Gallsby. "Samson Hamson. 456 Genero Street, Citypolis."
"Great, I have to ask big civilian favors. Lizzy, how do you feel about calling him and luring him here with an antique to sell?"
>"Like a sting?"
"Exactly a sting."
>"Heh. You know, I always wanted to do one of those. It's too bad I only got the chance on a fellow car enthusiast, but it's my civic duty. I have a spare car that I can pretend is for sale. Just tell me what to do."

His tail starts twitching and he looks off in the distance. I can already tell he's daydreaming about how it'll go down.
No. 919256 ID: daa216

Just call and say he's got a nice car which has to go today. The sort that our perp would really like. He seems excited to help, maybe gallsby should reward his cooperation with a blowjob.
No. 919257 ID: 0c3c2c

Yeah, telling him about some car you've recently decided to sell and asking him to come in would probably work. This knife guy doesn't seem like he's trying to avoid getting caught.
No. 919267 ID: 86eb65

Keep it simple. What is the spare car? Is it something he would like?

If not say you might need to make up a story about a car that just came in.

Then call him up and tell him if he is interested to come on down sometime during business hours. But that you are not going to hold it for him forever. First come first serve and all.
No. 919789 ID: 15a025

This. Just make it sound like business as usual.
No. 919835 ID: 9125e0

This guy seems really Weird, don't leave Gallsby alone with him, problems will occur.

let's just keep this simple. Mr weird Mechanic will lure the edgelord with a car deal, while you Gallsby pop out from the shadows. Then proceed to punish him for sicking his hand in our goatboys jar.
No. 920275 ID: 5fc3a0
File 154947214102.png - (85.16KB , 900x600 , 591.png )

"Alright, just keep it simple. Is it a car he'd like?"
>"It's - well I'll spare you the details. I think he'd like it, yep."
"Thanks, Lizzy, if you could."

He dials a number.

>"Hey, Samson? It's Wizzy Lizzy. The mechanic. Yes. You told me to call if I had an antique to sell? Right, a 1985 Mazda RX-7. Some people have asked about it, but if you show up today, it's yours. Rush? Oh no, it just takes up room I could use, is all. No no, nothing's wrong with it. Little wear and tear of course, but you can see it yourself.... Alright, see you later."
No. 920276 ID: 5fc3a0
File 154947215109.png - (137.13KB , 800x800 , 592.png )

Lizzy gives us a thumbs up.

>"Alrighty. Samson says he's a ways away, but he'll be here in about four hours. Can I get you guys any coffee or anything? Snacks? Oil change?"
"I'd go for a snack."
>"Ditto that with coffee!" says Gallsby.
"Also an oil change, actually, since the price looks good."
>"So the answer is yes."
No. 920277 ID: 5fc3a0
File 154947215739.png - (210.34KB , 800x800 , 593.png )

Four hours never sounds like long, until I have to wait them out. We first kill the time by pulling our car into where Lizzy needs to work on it. That kills two out of two hundred and forty minutes.

We take a brief walk around this small town. It's... a small town. That's all there is to say about it. A town, small. Not much to do. It feels like days pass. Gallsby dozes off now and then and I think he gets 3 full nights of sleep in these four hours. I read magazines until my life is comprised of esoteric knowledge, mildly interesting stories, ads for things no one needs, and other things.
No. 920278 ID: 5fc3a0
File 154947219558.png - (215.38KB , 1000x800 , 594.png )

The doorbell dings and I wake from my stupor that was an existence of neither sleeping nor waking. Someone walks in, reminding me why why I'm in a mechanic's purgatory.

>"Samson, how're you doing?" asks Wizzy Lizzy.
>"Living the dream, ya know?" says who I'd bet all these magazines is Blade Man.
No. 920281 ID: 1f45b6

Oh no! He's hot!
No. 920282 ID: 86eb65


Yeah this is a pickle all right. I think in light of the minor nature of the crime and the hotness of the suspect there might be room for leniency and possible some "public" service.

Unless he is of course a total asshole. Then we throw the book at him for petty theft and such.

That being said lets make sure this is the guy. Check the car and figure out his story.
No. 920283 ID: 10c408

He caused Villi to faint and experience childhood trauma. Plus he robbed a freaking bakery of all places.

Don't just throw the whole book at him, throw the entire constitution at him.

Later, anyway. right now just wait.
No. 920286 ID: 91ee5f

Well, he does bear a striking resemblance to the sketch you got: >>913939 .

At least wait for him to come all the way into the store and away from the door before you go confront him. And make sure you get between him and the door. That way he doesn’t immediately run out the door.
No. 920289 ID: 0c3c2c

Wait for him to move forward, then move in behind him, cutting off his escape route. Then politely inform him he's under arrest for shoplifting, menacing with a knife, and improperly filling out address forms.
No. 920291 ID: b1b4f3

Let him come inside, walk up to the counter focused on Lizzy, then walk up behind him and clamp a hand on his shoulder to block his magic and tell him he's under arrest.
No. 920304 ID: 57ff42

Given how hot he is let's get his side of the story instead of just arresting him.
No. 920305 ID: 465a14

he robbed a cute furry boy, remember, we can fuck him in jail or whatever
No. 920307 ID: bad12e


Does he pose with a menacing aura …?
No. 920308 ID: daa216

The hell is that thing? Better wait for him to get away from the door and anti magic touch him to be sure it isnt an illusion.
No. 920316 ID: 864e49

Yes he's hot but what the fuck is he wearing? Dose he think he's in a video game?
No. 920317 ID: 2735ca

Hold on a minute. Pretend you heard about this car deal going down and that, when the owner here said he'd promised the car to him, you were wondering if you could persuade him to hold off on the car so you could make a case for getting it.

That should get him further into the shop. Once he's in, you can casually drop that you're cops looking to get a sweet new car that'll intimidate crooks and look cool when you do that thing where you lean out and put a siren on top when there's a chase on.

His reaction when he hears you're cops should guide your next action after that.
No. 920320 ID: f8863b

"hey, you! you're under arrest for being too sexy under penal code 80085!"

"And also robbery!"
No. 922128 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155053156569.png - (172.13KB , 800x800 , 595.png )

Damnit, he's hot. That'd earn him pardons from all sorts of crime, but that doesn't include robbing cute goat bakers. That outfit's also a missed mark from 'average, law abiding citizen.'

I don't need to lure him in farther. He walks up to the counter on his own and makes smalltalk to Lizzy. I'm able to walk by him and see his Trans Am outside, and that's good enough to confirm probability that this is our perp.
No. 922129 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155053157487.png - (178.84KB , 800x800 , 596.png )

And Gallsby is double checking the sketch versus the suspect.
No. 922130 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155053158361.png - (200.08KB , 1000x800 , 597.png )

He's checking it pretty closely, too.

>"Hey, you." says our criminal. "Are you two cops?"
>"Nope." says Gallsby, so confidently and smoothly that I actually believe he's forgotten that we're cops.
No. 922131 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155053159737.png - (198.54KB , 1000x800 , 598.png )

I grab his shoulder.

"I am. You're under arrest."
No. 922132 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155053160343.png - (161.62KB , 800x800 , 599.png )

Ow damnit!
No. 922133 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155053161835.png - (250.51KB , 1200x800 , 600.png )

I'm blocking the exit, but he leaps back deeper into the waiting area. Gallsby and I start to chase, but he shoves his hand down his shorts and whips out a knife, and twirls it around in his palm.

>"Don't move! Hands where I can see them, and I'll let you rent-a-cops live! I can throw a dozen knives a second and a champ at throwing them, and I'm not going to go along nicely. Lizzy, you stung me?!"
>"Sorry, buddy." says Lizzy. "But what'm I gonna do? Obstruct justice?"
No. 922138 ID: b1b4f3

Be sarcastic at him and ask if that's all his magic can do, make him good at throwing knives? He's only got one!

Trick him into revealing how his magic works, basically.
No. 922140 ID: b970b2

"You keep knifes in your shorts?" Ask something like this but with Gallsby-phrasing to try and get him to reveal whether or not the knifes are magically summoned. Does your anti-magic cancel out summoned objects?
No. 922144 ID: bcc41d


Frillsby, steeple your fingers, where he can see them, and set about distracting the guy.

"First off, we're not for rent and even if we were, you probably can't afford us if you're resorting to petty theft. Secondly, you are either under arrest for said robbery or resisting arrest. The former is the vastly better option to pick, for a variety of sensible reasons. Thirdly, I keep thinking your get-up is reminding me of someone or something. Where's the inspiration from?"

Gallsby, if you can, use the distraction to sneak up and use those claw-arms for what god intended: hugging sexy dudes. Try not to get shanked before the anti-magic hits. Back off if Samson is actually capable of producing tons of unerring projectile weapons and shows it.
No. 922146 ID: bad12e


We gotta ask: is his magic NOT slicing his dick off with his own knives, or like ... uh ...?
No. 922148 ID: bcc41d

Oooh, here's a thought for an additional distraction / ability verification gambit. If he's such a champ at throwing knives, tell him to prove it. Like reach slowly for the Sportswole magazine and toss it into the air.
No. 922150 ID: eeb7d9

I bet his magic allows him to hide the knives inside him to then be able to throw them really fast. Kinky.
Gallsby, can you deflect knives in mid air?
Also ask him what is up with those clothes, we are trying to arest him, but his get-up is very distracting.
No. 922151 ID: 86eb65

Read him his rights. And inform him that if he does not put those knives down right now he will be adding resisting arrest and assault with a deadly weapon and possibly attempted murder of a police officer.

Also those are magic knives so just tackle the idiot as his weapons poof as they hit you.
No. 922153 ID: 465a14

Just conjure your magic handcuffs to lock him down.
No. 922163 ID: 91ee5f

Conjure anti magic handcuffs around his feet so that he ends up tripping!
No. 922170 ID: 4c908d

What if the knives aren't magical and he's just summoning them from a stockpile somewhere?
No. 922184 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155054177211.png - (144.21KB , 800x800 , 601.png )

>Conjure handcuffs
Maybe I should've tried that right away, because he's staying too far away now.

"If you don't put that knife down right now, you're going to be charged with a lot more than petty thievery!"
>"Petty thievery? What're you talking about?"
"Are you denying you robbed a store earlier?"
>"Not at all, but why would that be what you came here to charge me for?"
"What else have you done?!"
>"None of your business, as a matter of fact!"
>"Where'd you get your getup from?" asks Gallsby.
>"Custom tailored, but don't change the subject! I've got knives!"
"That's all your magic can do, make you good at throwing knives?"

Through conversation or tricks, I want him to spill what his magic is. If he says his knives are magic, we can tackle him right now. But if those knives aren't magical...

>"Nah. It's all skill, baby."
>"Does your magic let you keep knives in your shorts without cutting your junk?"
>"... You really aren't a cop, huh?"
>"I already told you I wasn't!"
No. 922185 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155054179610.png - (167.32KB , 600x800 , 602.png )

Gallsby takes a step forward.

Samson flings the knife right by Gallsby, and it sticks into the desk at Gallsby's side.

>"That's a warning shot!"
No. 922186 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155054180814.png - (212.35KB , 1200x800 , 603.png )

I don't have time to react well before Samson starts pulling out another knife from his shorts, and Gallsby starts taking out his gun.
No. 922187 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155054182359.png - (139.97KB , 800x800 , 604.png )

Wait a minute why does Gallsby have a gun.
No. 922188 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155054183027.png - (212.96KB , 800x800 , 605.png )

Why does Gallsby have a gun?!
No. 922191 ID: 4c908d

No. 922192 ID: eeb7d9

Quick! Keep acting like he is not a cop! Question why does he have a gun! Tell him he is under arrest, do it now!
No. 922193 ID: 86eb65

Gallsby where did you get that gun?

Also wander over and poke at that knife and see if it dissolves.
No. 922195 ID: 91ee5f

That’s a good question! Not only can he not hold it correctly, he’s not exactly very responsible to be trusted with one. Although, that might actually be a taser.

But you don’t exactly have time to worry about that right now!
No. 922197 ID: 91ee5f

Frillsby is currently blocking the door. If he moves away, Samson will attempt to run for the door!
No. 922204 ID: 10c408

...We need to get a tazer. Unarmed, even with anti-magic, isn't going to work when criminals stop thinking with magic and start using their brain more. Like Samson here is.


Start acting, take a good long look behind samson and then quickly shift your gaze back to him. Do this a few times until he gets nervous enough to believe that he's about to get struck from behind by Lizzy.

This'll let you or gallsby do... something.
No. 922216 ID: b1b4f3

Gallsby kick the gun to Frillsby.
No. 922270 ID: 9d9102

Get Samson while he's distracted!
No. 922283 ID: b23117

You're both gonna die. I hope Yams and Khivet get you a nice present for when you respawn. Or at least visit you in the hospital if you only almost die.
No. 922301 ID: 0c3c2c

Just.... Just kick Blade Man in the fork while he's distracted by the sad picture of Gallsby with a gun. Or distract Blade Man while Liz smacks him in the head with a tire iron for being an asshole.
No. 922303 ID: 90f3c0

He must be pulling knives out of a pocket dimension in his pants. Grab him by the crotch to cancel out the effect.
No. 922312 ID: daa216

Huh, guess Gallsby is more cop than you thought. Go wide, make it so the perp has to decide which direction he will aim.
No. 922313 ID: bad12e


Gallsby, quick! Flying tackle and scrub that dish into submission!!
No. 922325 ID: a9af05

Quickly dash in close enough to summon handcuffs on the criminal scum!
No. 922326 ID: a9af05

And by criminal scum, I meant Samson.
No. 922353 ID: 75c493

Wake Up
No. 922366 ID: b23117

Wait. Doesnt Gallsby literally have knives for fingers?

Do some anime bullshit!
No. 922370 ID: bb78f2

Do YOU even have a gun?
No. 922373 ID: b1b4f3

...yeah either Frillsby is dreaming or the criminal's magic extends to anyone near him, allowing them to pull weapons out of their pants.
No. 922374 ID: c1212a

You should probably ask him.
No. 922385 ID: fce6e9

Try pulling out a weapon too and shooting the garbage out of him
No. 922539 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155069986896.png - (184.68KB , 1200x800 , 606.png )

>Involve Lizzy
Lizzy was behind us, but he's already going into the back room and out of sight.

No time to think, I'm going to tackle him and hope I can cancel out knife-magic! I try to pull out a weapon from my belt, but no weapon miraculously shows up.

>Gallsby, kick the knife to Frillsby

Just as I leap forward I see Gallsby kick the gun to where I was standing, and is now kicking the gun towards no one in particular. At least I'm between Samson and the gun and door.

Shit, he's throwing the knife at me!
No. 922540 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155069987862.png - (34.42KB , 1000x800 , 607.png )

No. 922541 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155069990164.png - (134.16KB , 1000x800 , 608.png )

Oh I'm fine, they're magic.

>"Why - " Gallsby stutters. "Why did you scream? Why would you do that to me?"
"I felt it hit my clothes and forgot my clothes aren't antimagic, so I thought the knife was - just grab Samson!"
No. 922542 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155069991239.png - (242.87KB , 1200x800 , 609.png )

The criminal's backed into a corner. He's summoning hella knives, but since they're hella magic knives, he's got nowhere to run!
No. 922543 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155069992249.png - (214.93KB , 800x800 , 610.png )


Except through the window, now that I think about it.

His car is parked on the opposite side of the building that the window was on, so he's either going to try to go around for it, or book it on foot.
No. 922546 ID: 470289

Grab the gun and do a murder.
No. 922548 ID: 10c408

Leave the gun where it is. Frillsby, go chase Samson.

Gallsby, go blockcade samson's car.
No. 922550 ID: 91ee5f

>Gallsby, go blockcade samson's car.
And slash the tires with your claws!
No. 922551 ID: 465a14

Well, from the shards of it, that wasn't safety glass. Call an ambulance quick and hope it arrives before he dies of blood loss.
No. 922553 ID: 86eb65

Shoot out his tires. Then track him on foot.
No. 922555 ID: bcc41d

Orrrr he's gonna roll around on the ground in abject pain, because yeowch that's gotta hurt. Unless he knocked out the glass with his knives.

... he probably did.

Don't try to emulate him. The remaining glass of the window is NOT magic. Tell Gallsby to use his claw-hands to shred the rest of the glass away from the sill of the window while you strip your shirt and bundle it up. Use the bundle to quickly hoist yourself over the glass remnants and follow.

Unless it's just easier/faster/SAFER to run out the door, in which case do that instead.

Don't delay, and don't let Samson get to his car. Yell for Lizzy to secure the gun and call 911 for backup, this just got pretty serious. Get up close and grapple him, but remember he seems pretty martial, so don't open yourself to sucker punches.
No. 922556 ID: 0c3c2c

Grab the gun and shout "WARNING SHOT!" Then shoot out his front tire.

Hopefully Gallsby loaded it. However he did.
Also, tell Gallsby to grab him.
No. 922559 ID: b1b4f3

Frillsby get the gun, go shoot out his tires. Gallsby chase that fucker. Start telling him you're gonna stab him once for every minute you have to chase him. (don't actually stab him to death)
No. 922563 ID: eeb7d9

Oh, cool, you didn't die. Surround him! Block all the possible exits!

You need to practice your coordination. Play some dance dance revolution or something.
No. 922570 ID: afdebc

>broken the window
So now you can add property damage onto theft, assault with a deadly (magical) weapon, and resisting arrest.

Chase him, send Gallsby the other way for the car. Don't stop to think about how crazy it is to ask Gallsby to drive.
No. 922662 ID: cc6465

Who runs faster, you or Gallsby? Whichever one of you is faster should be the one that chases after the suspect!

Or you can just start throwing anti-magic handcuffs at him and hope one of them latch onto him, so that it'll take away his magic.
No. 922676 ID: 10c408

...That's not going to play out like you think it will. As has been demonstrated, just having antimagic isn't an automatically win condition for apprehending criminals. And sure it might be theoretically possible to get a thrown handcuff to latch itself on samson's wrist but that won't do anything to prevent him from continuing to run away.

At best, getting clocked in the back of the head/knee/foot with a flying, spinning poor man's bola will make him trip and land on all of the painful glass shards embedded in his face/arms/chest right now.
No. 922725 ID: 91ee5f

>As has been demonstrated, just having antimagic isn't an automatically win condition for apprehending criminals.
That’s true, but taking away his main method of attack will prevent him from doing the “throw knives at things in the environment to knock them over and block the cop’s path” thing.

And if he ends up getting desperate and tries to take a hostage, he won’t be able to hold a knife to someone’s neck and tell us to back off.
No. 922789 ID: a9af05

But if the handcuffs manage to latch onto him, he'll be too busy running from us to try and take it off! We might get lucky and the other end of the handcuffs could get snagged on something and he'll end up getting stuck, which would allow us to catch him!
No. 922948 ID: 15a025

Hurry over to his car and pop sine lead into the tires.
No. 923375 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155114884049.png - (344.22KB , 1200x800 , 611.png )

"Gallsby blockade his car! Or sabotage it if you have to!"

I run after Samson, cause if he makes it to that treeline over there then it'll be way too easy to lose us. I do grab that gun before someone who's name might be Gallsby does something dumber.

I'm pretty sure Samson blew that glass apart with his knives, and he keeps his magic ability to summon more knives. Then he slams those new ones straight into the dirt, puts his tiny feet onto the hilts, and ninjas his way across the glass.
No. 923376 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155114885133.png - (271.42KB , 1200x800 , 612.png )

I use my own special ability of summoning a shirt to toss down under my feet to keep them glass free.
No. 923377 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155114885992.png - (304.07KB , 800x800 , 613.png )

>"Think you can catch me, you donut?! Let's see you hop a fence with knives shoved in it!"

He must not've heard me implicate my own anti-magic self, and summons a whole mess of knives on the mechanic's fence the second he clears it.

Well he tries anyway, but they all completely miss and fall on the ground. Come to think of it, his knives have been summoned in weird spots, and they've moved into a more natural place after they come into existence. I think he's got some trouble with that.
No. 923378 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155114892628.png - (556.09KB , 1200x600 , 614.png )

He's booking it down the slope to the treeline, and I hear that Trans Am's engine revving up. I take my mind off of Gallsby's incoming driving skills by pulling out Gallsby's gun, because it's time for a warning shot.

Or I try anyway, but there's no bullets in this gun!

Which is actually a big relief!

"You're adding a whole new page of criminal offenses, Samson!"
>"My name's not Samson, copper!"

Whatever his name is, he and I start throwing our magic items at one another. If my handcuff actually latches around a part of him then he won't be able to fuck around with his knives, but I'd call it a win just to bonk him in his criminal head.

His knives are way more accurate due to the incredible power of throwing objects that are aerodynamic. He's still missing since he's trying to run away and throw them behind himself.
No. 923379 ID: 5fc3a0
File 155114893456.png - (144.55KB , 800x800 , 615.png )

He got my belt!
No. 923380 ID: 86eb65

You know what you have to sacrifice. Those pants need to go.

Unless you have normal sized pants like a normal person and the belt just helps a bit and is not the only thing holding the loose baggy nightmare that is your bad choice in pants on.

Anyways tear off those pants and continue the chase. Zoom zoom.
No. 923382 ID: b1b4f3

Your clothes are gonna slow you down, you gotta get rid of them!!! Actually wait can you even take them off with your shoes on?

If only they were quick removal pants.
No. 923384 ID: 465a14

doesn't matter, keep going
No. 923385 ID: d6b369

Pants are the mind killer, who needs em! It's not public indecency if you're catching a criminal.
No. 923386 ID: 3cc68c

You good sir are wearing perfectly fine leather shoes. Who are you trying to fool with the oh no I lost my shirt cause of glass excuse?

Just drop the pants. We know you want to chase a criminal into the dark woods and naked tackle him. Just save some for Gallsby.
No. 923387 ID: 91ee5f

You are wearing shoes! You didn’t need to put your shirt on the ground to protect your feet!
No. 923388 ID: 1ed92d

Abandon pants. Transcend clothing.
No. 923391 ID: afdebc

Magic Handcuff your pants back up.
No. 923413 ID: 9125e0

He has gone to far, pants are the Most sacred of clothing items other then hat. Fuck him up good, he’s in store for some police brutality. (like weird Gallsby torture)
No. 923418 ID: 10c408

Grab the torn section with one hand, tilt your entire upper body forwards to make you less of a target. SERPENTINE.
No. 923421 ID: b23117

Gallsby, take pictures of action-cop Frillsby in action for later use in the annuel sexy police calender.

Also to send to Mayor.
No. 923423 ID: 49f562

Ooh, this. Cool and creative. Pantcuffs!
No. 923455 ID: df5c09

You can't slow up to strip your pants off or he'll get away for sure. Hold 'em up with one hand and keep up the chase.