Just tell him that attempted murder is a major turnoff, and if this is how he acts, the world's better with less people having stuff and him being incarcerated.

Iirc killing people isn't really a thing because of the massively lowered population.

Make a funny face when fun happens and then make for the meeting place. MAYBE consider finding some clothes again. Or just accepting life and becoming a nudist (at least until it gets colder). Note that you owe Gallsby precisely One Good Dicking, for multiple reasons.

>>958023
While a nice thought, he seems like the type to run away from community service. Unless his community service is hanging around with Frillsby and Gallsby, wearing anti-magic cuffs.

>I can give you a lot of stuff back.
"But then you'd just go back to taking things from others. I bet you can steal more stuff in the future than we can get back from you right now, so isn't it way wister to invest in arresting you now?"

>>958009
How about this: he tells you where his loot is, and you'll put in a good word with the more professional cops he's being sent to.
You're not letting him loose.

You can make knives out of thin air, there must be a good paying job better than rubbing. Ever thought about that?
What about being a companion, you already dress yourself like a slut, might as well work like one. You have ths looks, AND you say you are good at blowjobs. Gonna have to confirm that last statement.

Put him under house arrest... Or at least police surveillance. That way you can get everyone's stuff back, suck his dick, and if he misbehaves you put him in the slammer. And not the fun kind of slammer!

That's an argument you can make to the judge in exchange for reduced sentence. If you make to the cop arresting you, it's illegal.

It causes me actual, physical pain when I say you better tell it to the judge. Where's he getting extradited to first? He's wanted all over, we should hand him over to one of them.

1/2 Frillsby 2020/03/06(Fri)08:09 No. 958138 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158351094650.png - (146.28KB , 800x800 , 703.png )

"Tried to kill a cop, bribery, etc, at this rate you're getting the chair!"

Thankfully Gallsby's mouth is too busy with dick to mention that capital punishment isn't a thing around here. I'm half surprised Gallsby isn't trying to let him off easy so that horn dicks can't be sucked later.

>"You keep trying to pin attempted murder on me, but unless you guys give me the shittiest lawyer this world has ever seen, the court'll see that as self defense!"
"If you want a good stance in court, then tell the judge where the stash is. Bribing me with it won't work, because even if everyone you stole from gets their stuff back, you'll just keep stealing."
>"Then I'm not telling you!"
"Then I hope you like the unfun kind of slammer, you horny bastard."

Gallsby finishes me, and we wait in silence while a Jacksonville cop comes by.

2/2 Frillsby 2020/03/06(Fri)08:09 No. 958139 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158351097434.png - (258.12KB , 800x800 , 704.png )

I put my loincloth back on and put a refreshed pair of handcuffs on Vabrelius while we wait for pickup. As usual, it's Baxton who came to pick up the criminal.

"Ya know, Frillsby, I might never've been impressed with how you present yourself as a cop, but you've managed to catch a guy we've been trying to catch for a long, long time." He's wearing his sunglasses, so I can't see how judgemental his stare is at my current set of clothes.
>"They tried to murder me!" Vabrelius says.
>"Tell it to your cellmate."
>"What about the judge?"
>"Buddy, I'm just a cop, but I'm gonna bet that your court case is gonna start and end in precisely the time it takes for the judge to say 'guilty'. Now, Frillsby, we're going to want to take that Trans Am back as evidence. Remember to write up a report for what happened. You boys need a ride back in the meanwhile?"

>>958139
"Yeah, that'd be great, maybe a change of clothes too. But Baxton, please remember to watch watch your phrasing around Gallsby unless you want sex jokes the whole way home."

>>958141
With how the quest is I wouldn't be surprised if that was on purpose. Loudly ask Gallsby whether he wants to repay Baxton in gas, grass, or ass.

>>958141
Yeap.

>>958141
This

I thought you had a judge dread thing going on. All throwing guys into the sun and all.

Politely accept his offer of a ride.

Tell knife dude that if he ever stops crimes and reforms himself to stop by and say hi.

>>958139

A ride back? Jeez, yeah.

And maybe some pants. We can write the report once we've had some time to decompress it all and get our thoughts in order.

... oh, and before we forget, ask if Baxton has seen or heard of some weird cat guy wearing a cloak, or anything, since he might be kind of a victim / witness / good samaritan / vigilante or something.

Yeah ask him if he has any spare pants too since the guy shredded yours off. On second thought, maybe don't give the details, he probably doesn't want to know.

#freevabrelius

Also, innuendo about getting a ride, obviously.

A ride back and some actual clothes would be nice. Don't forget to mention he's got a secret stash of stolen stuff somewhere.

Yes. Please. It's been a long day.

1/2 Frillsby 2020/04/15(Wed)12:50 No. 962064 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158698024503.png - (215.75KB , 900x600 , 705.png )

>"I'm always up for a ride!" Gallsby's eyebrows waggle, and even if Baxton doesn't show it, I can tell he's internally deflated.
>"I always forget to watch my phrasing around you two. Now get in my car if you want a ride. Vabrelius in the back, you two in the front. Frillsby in the middle."
"You wouldn't happen to have a change of clothes would you?"
>"Nope. I'm driving you where you can get some clothes."
>"Where's that?" asks Gallsby.
>"Your house. "'least I'm assuming the two've you have some clothes there." he mutters.

We get in the car.

>"Vab, come say hi if you ever reform."

He mutters omnidirectionally.

Baxton drives back. It's the longest I think I've ever spent by him, and he's exactly as talkative as I imagined he'd be, which is not at all.

2/2 Frillsby 2020/04/15(Wed)12:51 No. 962065 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158698028117.png - (261.32KB , 1000x700 , 706.png )

We're dropped off at home, and I get a change of clothes and a shower before heading to Villi's. We could've just called him, but we can't eat through phone calls.

"Oh hey you two are back! Did you find anything out?"
"We caught the guy."
"Oh! Good job! Did you, er, get the money back? Or... the cookies he took?"
"The cookies are long gone, Villi.
"R-right, it's not like I could put them back even if you did."
"The money might be found later, but I think you'll just have to file an insurance claim on that."
"Ceo made me do one! She also helped recoup my losses by buying an entire oven's worth of pastries."

Gallsby looks behind us.

>"Is that why she's passed out on that table back there?"
"Yeahhh. Oh, and, Mayor left a message for you two to stop by her place when you could. She didn't say why but she said there wasn't any rush."

"Oh yeah, probably just the actual badges she got made. Or maybe ordered? Well no matter the quality at least they'll be better than just going into a party city and buying a badge there."

>>962065
>Ceo passed out
"Did she eat all of those pastries in one sitting?"

Frillsby 2020/04/15(Wed)14:00 No. 962078 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158698444904.png - (165.72KB , 800x800 , 707.png )

"Did she eat all those pastries in one go?"
"Are there any on her table?"
"No."
"Then yes."

>"... no regret..." Ceo mutters from a world more distant than the 10 feet that separate us.

"It's very impressive, but I also told her not to. So, uh, what's going to happen to the criminal?"
"For stealing 60 dollars, not much. For what he did to try and evade and resist arrest, probably a lot."
"Oh, that's too bad... when I thought about it, like it was dangerous and stuff, but I don't think he would've actually hurt me if I refused!"
"If you ever get held up again, then please don't test that."
"I won't!"
>"What do you think, Frillsby? Think we should go over to Mayor's now?" asks Gallsby.

You have a goat to fuck and a Ceo to take care of first.

Dishes getting scrubbed can wait, but aren't you hungry for actual food? If so, eat while checking in to make sure Ceo isn't gonna throw up or anything, then go to Mayor's house.

Also, compliment Villi's... Earstyle? Because it looks fantastic!

>>962078
Ceo is gonna get fat if she does that a lot.

>What do?
Grab something to eat, then head towards Mayor's house.

Get lunch first. She said no hurry.

Is Baxton bi, straight , gay, ace, pan? He's hot too. We should hang out sometime no matter what though. Maybe at a cop bar or something in his city, and if he's straight and/or not into us and not in a commited relationship, be his wingmen for the night. We did the same for Villi, after all, despite him also being into us, and it turned out great.

Yes, let us get another assignment from the mayor. We've had our fill of main quests, so a side quest is great to pass the time. Wait, no, did we beat a secret super boss on a side quest and now are going to do a main quest?

Frillsby, where's our quest log, you didn't tear it up again did you? We need to catagorize this quest quickly, before we forget. Side Quests have completely different paperwork than Main Quests.

As a CIVILIZED CLOTHES-WEARING MAN, you require lunch before going to Mayor and working on your own budding narcolepsy from all of your lack of sleep.

Oh, and once you're done, you should probably also carry poor Ceo somewhere where she might digest or die in peace, like Villi's pad or back to Mayor.

>>962078
Get a bite to eat, then head Mayor-wards.

>>962078
Gallsby: Tell Villi that you’ll have what Ceo had.

Frillsby: Tell Gallsby that he’s being ridiculous and you don’t have enough money in your wallet to buy that many pastries!

Gallsby: Tell Frillsby that you only said you wanted what Ceo had, you never said you wanted it in the same amount she had!

>>962078

Quick food and a nap, THEN Mayor's place.

Because seriously, we are probably still dying after that police-chase from our own personal out-of-shape hell.

So you had a shower and a change of clothes which is obviously good, but like, did you at least have a nap while Baxton was driving you? xD If not then considering Mayor said there's no rush you might want to like, head back and faceplant in bed for a bit :P Though also set an alarm so it doesn't end up getting too late.

Should probably get something to eat first after that hot pursuit. Get whatever Ceo had and join the party.

1/2 Frillsby 2020/05/04(Mon)20:33 No. 965068 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158864961505.png - (131.55KB , 800x800 , 708.png )

>Is Baxton bi, straight , gay, ace, pan?
Hell if I know. I'm curious, but if I asked him on the way then I bet he'd have thrown me out on the side of the road.

"I'm still hungry. Get me a couple donuts, Villi. The usual ones."
"Coming right up!"
"Nice earstyle, by the way."
"Oh thank you! Ceo fluffed them up. Can I get you something, Gallsby?"
>"Hit me with everything Ceo had, except like, a fifth as much!"
"Oka- er, she had a lot of one of everything, so I'd have to give you a fifth of a donut..."
>"That sounds great!"
"Gallsby we just got back, bully the goat later."
>"What's bad about having a fifth of the donut?"
"Sorry, we really don't sell fifths of things except maybe certain cakes! I'll give you a sampler plate of tiny things if that's okay."
>"Just gimme a whole dang cake."

2/2 Frillsby 2020/05/04(Mon)20:33 No. 965069 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158864962752.png - (192.33KB , 800x800 , 709.png )

Villi hands us food, and checks up on us about halfway through.

"So uh, are you okay, Frillsby? You look a little worn out."
"I'm a hundred percent sure I'm in worse shape than Ceo over there, but unlike her, I don't even have the energy to make all those moans and groans about it."
>"Yeah!" Gallsby says as he has his cake on his claws and eats it off them too. "Seriously she's making even worse noises than when you two are alone upstairs Villi!"

From the distance, Ceo calls out.

>"fuck you gallkkkchsssshhhh....."
>"No way, you're straight!"
>"What the flippers does that have to do wi..." She plants her face back down on the table.
"I hardly slept, Villi, and I ran far and wide to catch that knife man. It reminded me I'm out of shape and I'm paying the price for it now."
"Wow! Should you really be eating donuts? I have healthier options, but - "
"Villi I'm going to keep pouring your baked sugar with sugar frosting into my mouth and I'm going to arrest anyone who stops me."
"You're the boss! Well, cop. You really do look tired though! Wait, it's not that short of a walk back to your place, is it? I'm not going to use my bed until tonight, if you want to borrow it. What about you, Gallsby?"
>"Naw I was a good boy and went to bed on time, so I'm wide awake!"

Take Villi with you. You need a shower and you'll need him to show you how the shower works at his place.

Go nap in goat bed and set Gallsby to torment CEO.

>>965069
Is the Mayor's house nearby? Could go see what's up, then crash on her couch.

Make sure you nap with Villi wherever you sleep.

>>965076
This. You will rest once the last request of the day is handled, at which point you will rest anywhere vaguely convenient and warm. Gallsby, please be on pillow standby.

>With a pillow or as a pillow?
Yes.

>>965069
home is where you'll get real rest. If you nap here the well meaning Villi will probably check up on you constantly, and he's going to have his hands full with CEO once all that sugar starts metabolizing.

>>965069

I love the claw shaped slices in the cake Okay so your sleep schedule is going to be fucked if you don't do it right, so I suggest doing what pilots do and take like a 1-2 hour sleep (sleep not nap, if possible) in Villi's bed, then go out and get on with the day as normal/see what Mayor wanted you for, then at the end of the day you should be able to sleep at a normal time.

>>965091
The real problem is going to be when Gallsby eating an entire cake catches up with him. You probably ought to drag him home with you to minimize damage to passersby.

>>965103
Gallsby's cake-eating is unreasonably charming and I love it.

>>965069

The only thing immune to Gallsby claws, is a Gallsby.

take the sleep maybe gallsby can be on spook duty

1/3 Frillsby 2020/05/05(Tue)14:58 No. 965196 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158871592721.png - (114.90KB , 800x800 , 710.png )

"Yeah, sure. But wake me up after one hour so I don't mess up my sleep."
"You got it!"
"Gallsby you're on... pillow duty. Once you finish recovering from the cake."
>"You got it!"

I'm not sure if Gallsby's got it, because he makes a bad pillow, but that way I'm sure to be woken up before Gallsby goes terrorizing the countryside or whatever he does when he's on a sugar high.

I flop down on Villi's bed and fall asleep before I hit the pillow.

2/3 Frillsby 2020/05/05(Tue)14:58 No. 965197 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158871593940.png - (189.61KB , 800x800 , 711.png )

I'm sitting up, and Villi's got his hand on me.

"Sorry, did I shake you too hard? You weren't waking up!"
"... I just woke up. I have no recollection of being shaken."
"O-oh, that's good...? Well, you told me to wake you up, so here we go!"

I feel worse than ever before, but I am up.

"I notice that Gallsby isn't on top of me doing... something predictably unexpected."
"Oh, he tried, but he got up, stumbled over a few feet, then fell down by Ceo. He seems okay, don't worry! Just kind of caked out."
"Right. Thanks, Villi."

3/3 Frillsby 2020/05/05(Tue)14:59 No. 965198 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158871595634.png - (161.28KB , 800x800 , 712.png )

I come downstairs to see both Ceo and Gallsby collapsed on what the table of bad life decisions.

"Gallsby."
>"Ergengfhg..."
"You ready to go to Mayor's, Gallsby, or am I interrupting a second date with Ceo here?"
>"No thah was extenturating circumstance, Frillsby, I was... born... " There's a rumble from the depths of Gallsby. "... ready. What do you think Mayor's got in store for us?"

>>965198
Probably some basic task that will be done tomorrow and not today.
Wait, neither of you are in any condition to drive. Can you... call Mayor on the phone instead of going anywhere?

You once again have the capacity to hate, Frillsby, so that means you're more awake than before.

Gallsby on the other hand has shown himself the weak link, so leave him to stew on his mistake and to actually have a proper date talk with Mayor. Seriously though, if Ceo still isn't up after being there for far longer than Gallsby, the man really shouldn't be moving. And I mean, Villi will watch over him and worst case he'll just call you.

>>965198
Tell both of them that you hope they've learned their lesson of not eating that much ever again. Because they're going to get fat if they do that again.

>>965198
You are ten percent more alive than you used to be. It's time to drag everyone to napsville. I mean Mayor's.

...Mayor and Ceo had weird parents.

Something not urgent I hope but we are going now so we can go home after.

Scoot him on your way.

Badges, hopefully.

>>965212
One can presume badges or maybe she’s ready to admit her house is haunted. You just need to get this last leg of today’s journey out of the way so Gallsby can do amusing things to your unconscious body.

You have never had as much sympathy for Mayor’s narcolepsy as you do now.

oh man, are we not gonna try and scrub villi's dish before we leave?

>:3

>>965512
Frillsby managed a little sleep, but has to keep going for a while longer. I think he needs all the help he can get, and *scrubbing dishes* isn't exactly helpful.

>>965198

Badges, unhealthy amounts of caffeine (it's Mayor, of course there is), and maybe some quiet chatter that doesn't involve cross-country nudist chases.

Probably our badges. Ask Ceo if she wants a ride over there as well?

1/10 Frillsby 2020/05/13(Wed)13:56 No. 966495 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158940341482.png - (106.45KB , 800x800 , 713.png )

>"I dunno, badges or something we're not doing today or maybe she's ready to admit her house is totally haunted. Can we just call her?"
"If we could, she would've told Villi that. And since we're in no condition to drive, we're walking."

He groans.

"I hope you've learned your lesson about eating a lot of sweets at once."
>"I have!"

Hmm.

"I hope you use that lesson in the future and not do this again."
>"Don't get carried away with hope, Frillsby."
"Let's go. Want a ride too, Ceo?"

She makes a noise that sounds like a donut gained sentience and speech just to say an emphatic 'no'. Which is just as well, because I'm not driving. I'd be offering her a... walk, over there.

>"Buy me some time and.... scrub some dishes." says Gallsby.
"You already did that for me, Gallsby. You've sealed your own fate, and now you have no excuses. You're proving yourself incapable of handling a single cake."

2/10 Frillsby 2020/05/13(Wed)13:57 No. 966496 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158940343315.png - (128.19KB , 800x800 , 714.png )

He makes one last groan and makes himself handle said cake. We wave our goodbyes to Villi and Ceo, and show up to knock on Mayor's door.

"Hm, it's taking more than a few seconds to answer. I wonder if she fell asleep."
>"Man I could use some sleep!"
"Not as much as me, I can assure you."
>"I went straight from a sugar rush to a sugar crash! I'm in pretty bad shape now."

3/10 Frillsby 2020/05/13(Wed)13:57 No. 966497 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158940344160.png - (152.94KB , 800x800 , 715.png )

creeeeak

4/10 Frillsby 2020/05/13(Wed)13:57 No. 966498 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158940346330.png - (85.67KB , 800x800 , 716.png )

"Mayor, uh... good afternoon."
>"Mayor you look like you're haunting your own house." says Gallsby, who should know better than to state the truth like that.

5/10 Frillsby 2020/05/13(Wed)13:57 No. 966499 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158940347325.png - (157.87KB , 800x800 , 717.png )

Mayor looks like she's saying words, but all that comes out is a wheeze. She looks at my face that has succeeded in translating none of her wheezes, and she takes a deep breath.

>"Badges."

6/10 Frillsby 2020/05/13(Wed)13:58 No. 966500 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158940349464.png - (139.61KB , 800x800 , 718.png )

She steps out with two badges. I can see a tag on the inside of it labeled 'Party Zone' with its product number.

>"By powers vested in me for being mayor I declare you, Frillsby, an actual cop. Good job. Congratulations." She starts pinning the badge to my shirt. Wear this badge with pride and responsibility and you do you."

7/10 Frillsby 2020/05/13(Wed)13:59 No. 966501 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158940354466.png - (120.50KB , 800x800 , 719.png )

>"And by the same powers vested yadda yadda, Gallsby, actual cop, wear the badge with pride responsibility and you do Frillsby."
>"I do do Frillsby."

8/10 Frillsby 2020/05/13(Wed)13:59 No. 966502 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158940359909.png - (115.18KB , 800x800 , 720.png )

>"Good nighgth."
"Goodnight, Mayor."

"Wait a second Gallsby where did she pin your badge?"
>"On my fur."

>"It's okay my fur coat is real thick, just like a shirt."

9/10 Frillsby 2020/05/13(Wed)14:00 No. 966504 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158940363475.png - (154.48KB , 800x800 , 721.png )

"Then please explain the blood."
>"That's a feature."

Mayor must have been more asleep than awake if she just plain stabbed Gallsby like that.

10/10 Frillsby 2020/05/13(Wed)14:00 No. 966505 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158940364965.png - (88.54KB , 800x800 , 722.png )

Not like that was hard to tell. She's already down, using the badge's shipping box as a pillow.

Cool, you actually cops now! What were you then until now?

Also, you should probably put Mayor on her bed.

Oh no! Can you both carry her to her real bed?

move her into bed, also move Ceo into said bed

>>966505
Go put her in a bed, then fall asleep somewhere.

holy shit her eyes are HUGE. But either way, unstab gallsby if he wants you to then carry mayor back to her real bed.

Time to protect and serve. Get the mayor off the floor, crash on couch.

Get her off the floor at least. Then get ye to bed before you do the same.

Carry her up to her bed and both of you snuggle up on each side. Maybe a double dose of anti magic will help cancel out her haunting or whatever.

>>966505
Tuck mayor into bed. Un-stab Gallsby. Shut front door. Pass out on nearest soft surface.

>>966504
Gallsby, are you a masochist? You're taking that pin in stride.

Tell Gallsby to help you scoop up the mayor, head upstairs to tuck her into her bed, then take Gallsby to the upstairs bathroom you saw before. Unstick him, clean and band-aid his wound, then the both of you find the nearest bed that isn't occupied by the mayor to collapse into, after stripping to your undies.

>>966505
Put her on her bed.

Gallsby put the badge on one of your belt loops instead of in your skin.

Are our badges just plastic? Because that may make more trouble then having nothing.

Time to put the mayor to rest then, let's get her back in bed.

1/7 Frillsby 2020/05/18(Mon)15:05 No. 967011 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158983950610.png - (215.77KB , 800x800 , 723.png )

>Are the badges plastic?
I think they are, but it's a sufficiently shiny plastic that most would get fooled.

I carry Mayor off to her bed.

>Join her
Nah.

Ceo might come back and do that.

2/7 Frillsby 2020/05/18(Mon)15:05 No. 967012 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158983954615.png - (163.11KB , 800x800 , 724.png )

flump

3/7 Frillsby 2020/05/18(Mon)15:06 No. 967013 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158983956466.png - (118.78KB , 800x800 , 725.png )

>"Whah 'ow?"
"Couch."

4/7 Frillsby 2020/05/18(Mon)15:06 No. 967014 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158983957818.png - (116.68KB , 800x800 , 726.png )

flump

5/7 Frillsby 2020/05/18(Mon)15:06 No. 967015 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158983959149.png - (127.98KB , 800x800 , 727.png )

flump

Chapter 8 End Frillsby 2020/05/18(Mon)15:07 No. 967017 ID: 5fc3a0
File 158983965267.png - (118.72KB , 800x800 , 729.png )

flump

Yay we won!

And no one died.
Transcendent police work

Ah, the sleep of the just.

All in a day's work.

A winner is us.