Kaktus 2018/09/07(Fri)11:13 No. 900841 ID: 1301e8
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>Oran, have you ever met a drug addict? Do you know what suffering you're causing? Do you care?
Of course you’ve met a drug addict! Where else would you sell your wares? And you’re not causing any suffering! It’s their own fault that they choose to take the drugs… and besides, even if you didn’t sell, they would just buy it somewhere else. Better the coin goes to you instead of some violent gang.
>Oran, for fuck’s sake, you’ve got a legit potion selling business! You can make plenty of profit that way!
But you need to earn more! Just look at your competitor, they live in freaking mansions and socialize with the nobles, while you have a small freaking shop in the poorer part of town and live in a freaking apartment! It’s not fair! You need more coin so you can become bigger… greater… the freaking best! That will show them! THAT WILL SHOW THEM ALL!


>Just go with it. If he thinks you guys are on a date, then let him keep thinking that.
YES!!! A d-date! T-that’s what t-this is! We kind of g-got lost and… um… c-could you help us get out of h-here?
But-
*Elbowjab*
We were indeed on a date like thing but… I guess we took a wrong turn at the festival?
Okay? I guess? I mean, I don’t think the grate is actually locked just… um… it’s a bit… rusted?
Oh… in that case, I guess we can just force our way out.
>Just ask Drago for a map of the sewers, saying you'll give him the details later.
A map of the- why would I have a map of the sewers? What are you doing down there?
What are y-you doing with a c-cage of chicken next t-to a s-sewer grate where… err… some loony Hiver lives?
Y-you know about- I mean… err…
>You don't ask, he doesn't tell, ok?
Yes! That’s r-right! Neither of us where ever here.
T-that’s the spirit.
>Whatever he has to do, he has to do it quickly and safely, there is some nasty shit down there and it's dangerous. Even better, tell him to not even get in there.
Go down t-there? Why would I- I would never go down there, no sir. I’m just… err… here to… um… do some… shopping?
…of course you are. Just… take care, Drago.
Goodbye, Oran… oh, and Karn was looking for you! After the dance, that is. You kind of just… left?
I know. I’ve already met him.
Oh… then… say hi to him from me?
Will do.

Right. Let’s head back to my shop before- OFF!
HEY! WATCH IT! Oh, for excrement sake, again!?
Ops, s-sorry…
Yeah? Just watch where you’re going in the future, you clod! Geez, why did I decide to leave Dalriver and set roots here again?

Dalriver… why does that name ring a bell again? No matter, you better head back to the shop before they start worrying about you.

Kaktus 2018/09/07(Fri)11:13 No. 900842 ID: 1301e8
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The two of you make it back to your place without any further incident, not counting the awkward silence that almost choke the both of you. You can only hope that Karn remembered to use the guestroom, so the two of you won’t walk in on him getting his “arse” plowed by Ema or something. As you unlock the front door, Tunu slither past you, clearly agitated, her tail almost slamming a few potions off a table as it shows her frustration.

DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
Err…
I… I can’t just… I need to go back there! Where is your basement? Where is your lab?
Um… it’s-
I just… j-just need to check t-the path one more time… she… she must be down there still, r-right!?
Y-you see, may-
Ugh, but we didn’t find any trace of her, did we!? Maybe… maybe she escaped… maybe she… she…
um…
GAH! I just… it’s so freaking frustrating! I have to know what happened to her! I c-can’t… I can’t j-just… wait around, can I?
Err…
What am I supposed to do? I can’t just… sit around… d-doing nothing? Can I? Oran?
…
What am I supposed to do now? I c-can’t take this anymore… I… I need to find her… or… or just get my mind of all this or… or SOMETHING!?

Insert snake peen into snake butt.

>>900842
>gotta make as much money as the big alchemy shop for rich people
Okay, two problems with that.
1, as soon as you become a threat to their business they will start spending money to fuck you over somehow, either by digging up dirt on you, spreading false rumors, other acts of sabotage, or economic pressure like preventing you from getting quality ingredients by buying up all the supply or paying the suppliers to not do business with you.
2, you're filling a niche here. Who's going to sell potions to the lower and middle class if you go after the high class customers? And there's no way you're going to be able to make as much money as the high class shop unless you go after rich customers. They have access to people with more money than common sense.

And another thing, you need to at least be consistent about your attitude towards your addict customers. Either it's their own fault they're being hurt, or your drugs aren't hurting them. Can't be both, they contradict eachother.
Speaking of drugs, you mentioned violent gangs. If you're selling drugs to make money and want to make a LOT of money doing it, those violent gangs are going to either want to eliminate you as competition, or strongarm you into working for them. AGAIN. Ema might protect you... if you convince her you truly are the lesser evil. That might mean at least offering rehab services to your addicts. Sure, maybe it's their fault that they're addicts. But, let me repeat myself here: if you make your customers happy, then you will get more business.
Of course, you can basically ignore both those issues if you keep your drug operation small, or only deal in less-addictive softer drugs. The gangs won't bother with a small-time dealer, and you won't be causing much harm. There are always options, there is always a way to do the right thing while getting what you want.

>Tunu
Tell her if she wants you could help distract her. Would she like a potion with a mild calming effect? Or would she want something more physical? Massage? You've only got one arm but you'll try your best.

>>900841
No, dumbass! Think for a second: If any of the other alchemists are making illegal potions that are hurting people and making a profit, then Ema will get rid of them.

Meanwhile, you will be selling normal potions that are legal and not harmful to people. And when you’re the only alchemist left in town, everyone will come to you.

But this will only work if you don’t make and/or sell those illegal potions!

>Dalriver…why does that name ring a bell again?
Don’t you remember? It’s pretty hard to forget about a village that was completely slaughtered by bandits and burned to the ground 10 years ago!

.....actually, Ema was asking about that place when you first met her and she helped you and Karn move that crate to your lab. Do you think that maybe that’s where and when Ema died? Which means.....oh shit, the people responsible for destroying Dalriver are somewhere in town!

>No matter, you better head back to the shop before they start worrying about you.
That depends on how long you’ve been gone. Because if you’ve been gone for a while, then chances are Ema and Karn have gone into the sewers to look for you.

>>900842
>Tunu
You know what? Why don’t you lead Tunu towards wherever you think Karn is?

You can offer to get her something to drink and then you walk in on Karn by “accident” as payback for getting laid while you were busy looking for Tana and Tunu in the sewers because they were running late.

Tell her to go home and see if she made it there. If she didn't come back with torches and we'll search the sewers.

>>900881
I just thought of something.

Hey, Oran, maybe instead of being a dumbass and trying to continue your illegal potion making and selling, why don’t you try and make something that’s unique to only your store?

For example: Why don’t you try making potions into a type of candy that can be eaten?

It’ll be tiny, so no one will have to carry around a bulky bottle that takes up room in thier pockets. And without a bottle, no one has to worry about accidentally breaking it and losing their potions!

You could even make them different flavors! That way if parents have a sick child that won’t take their medicine because they don’t like the taste, the parents can trick their child into consuming a berry flavored healing potion in the shape of a candy!

Although, you should stick to making healing potion candies at first, just to make sure it works. But after a while, you can move on to candies with different potion effects!

Look, we don't know if she really is still down there, so go check out your usual meeting spots and if she doesn't show we'll take Karn and go down again. Speaking of Karn, we can't go into the basement right now, since he picked up some girl at the fest... he's banging a dude:D good for him to finally come out. Tell everyone!

Your biggest non-immediate problem is that Hiver that witnessed Ema in her default form carry Tana right to your secret basement lab entrance. If he tells anyone what he saw, especially Tunu, then both you and Ema's gonna be in trouble. You need to get to Ema, tell her what happened, how to get to that Hiver, and to do so while disguised as Gev (in case Drago sees.) But it's not to kill the Hiver. He's more valuable if he can be bargained and/or threatened into lying about who kidnapped Tana and which basement she was taken into; Preferably the basement of a abandoned building, or even the same way that Tana and Tunu would enter or exit the old sewers if it's via a basement. That way if and when Tunu goes to the Hiver to try and get him to talk, if he does she'll be misdirected.

Oran, how did Karn get involved with your situation with Tana and Tunu to the point he knew the secret meeting signal? It doesn't really make sense for Tana to allow any more people to be involved than absolutely necessary, since the more the greater the security risk. How did Karn fit into the deal at all?

Kaktus 2018/09/08(Sat)09:50 No. 900987 ID: 1301e8
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>Insert snake peen into snake butt.
...you fucking wish… *sigh*
>Your biggest non-immediate problem is that Hiver that witnessed Ema in her default form carry Tana right to your secret basement lab entrance.
But did he actually see that it was Ema? …and would anyone actually listen to some loon living in the sewers? Hmm… still, maybe you want to brick up that entrance, so anyone actually listening to him would think he was just crazy…

>As soon as you become a threat to their business they will start spending money to fuck you over somehow.
As long as you don’t steal their clientele... after all, the point is living the high life, not doing business with it. Still, they might try and do something…
>If any of the other alchemists are making illegal potions that are hurting people and making a profit, then Ema will get rid of them.
Are they even making anything illegal? You guess trying to fuck you over if you ever got successful would be morally wrong, but by then… well…
>If you're selling drugs to make money and want to make a LOT of money doing it, those violent gangs are going to either want to eliminate you as competition, or strong-arm you into working for them. AGAIN.
You’re not even sure if there are any gangs here. You know Tana got the herbs from somewhere but… well… hmm… and even then, if your business isn’t too big, they will ignore you, r-right?

>Either it's their own fault they're being hurt, or your drugs aren't hurting them. Can't be both, they contradict each other.
You’re not at fault here! It’s their fault! Stop trying to debate this, brain! YOU’RE BLAMELESS HERE, DAMMIT! It’s n-not y-your… your fault… no… it’s their… b-blame them... Argh, f-fine, you’ll stop with the freaking potions for a while! Just stop with the freaking whining, brain!
>Why don’t you try making potions into a type of candy that can be eaten?
You’re just a journeymen alchemist, not some… some magician! You can’t bend the laws of alchemy all willy-nilly to make something liquid into a solid matter just like that! Besides, all your research time is spent trying to make that regrowth potion.
>Oran, how did Karn get involved with your situation with Tana and Tunu to the point he knew the secret meeting signal?
You’re a bad liar and after Tana hurt you, he… well, wanted to protect you. So he kind of forced himself into the deal, to try and get you out of it. Of course, Tana answered by bringing Tunu in and things kind of… well, settled into a rhythm?
>Ema was asking about Dalriver when you first met her and she helped you and Karn move that crate to your lab.
Oh, right! She was interested in that! You better bring it up to her when you get the chance, then.


>Tell her to go home and see if she made it there.
… I… I don’t think she would go back t-there… the one that attacked us, the Varkian, seemed to know who she was s-so… her home wouldn’t be safe. And I believe she wouldn’t want to bring me into harm’s way by going to my place either.
Then d-do you have any other meeting spot? A s-secret one?
The only secret spot was the sewers and your lab… and she wasn’t there, was she?
>Tell her if she wants you could help distract her.
I mean… I guess? Somehow?
>Would she like a potion with a mild calming effect?
Huh? Potion? No, I rather not. I rather not take anything dangerous.
They are h-harmless, trust me.
Even then, I rather not get addicted to anything. It’s the principal of the matter and all that.
>Or would she want something more physical? Massage? You've only got one arm but you'll try your best.
A massage? I don’t know… I don’t think… maybe if you… let me think about it.

>You can offer to get her something to drink and then you walk in on Karn by “accident” as payback.
Do you want something to drink? As in, something not a potion? Alcoholic? Non-alcoholic?
…if you have some spirits or something I guess…
Right t-this way, my… err… I mean… um… this way?
You know, Oran, I thought about that massage and-
Ema, I can’t find him anywhere down there! Throw on a cloak and- ORAN!? Oh, thank the goddesses!
GAH!

Karn suddenly appears out of nowhere and hugs you tight.

Don’t disappear on me like that! You had me worried to death! I searched through the whole path and didn’t find you anywhere!? Where did you- wait, oh, you… um… found Tunu, I see.
We got lost trying to track down the thing that attacked Tana…
…attack- wait, you were attacked? By what? Where? How?
First by some Varkian bandit… which transformed into some kind of sewer monster?
I’m pretty sure they were two different beings!
…err… right. Bandits that turns into monsters…
He didn’t- I don’t think- I know what I saw! Err… I mean, heard?
Either way, it’s good that you’re safe Oran… and you Tunu, as well… so… um… I’ll… need to go and… take care of something? Also, sheesh, you two reeks.
Hey! You smell just as bad!
We were just in a sewer after all…
At least I had this cloak to soak up all the smells… but yes… um… take care of Tunu and… clean up a bit, Oran, and… well… don’t tarry, alright? Good to see you well, Tunu…

…wait, who is this Ema he-
Just some g-girl he found at the f-festival… and brought back at a really bad time.
Oh… so… um… Oran?
Y-yes?
Going back the massage… um… would you mind to… well, massage my mind? You know… mind meld? Tana usually helped me calm down by showering me with calming thoughts but… well… do you want to help me with that?

…a pretty girl just asked me to meld with her. You can’t really say no to that, can you? But you’ve never really been good at mind melding… and if she manages find out what you know about Tana… or if you accidently reveal it… but… you can’t really say no or she’ll get suspicions? You’ll need some excuse… or… or something other secret you can “accidently” give her! Like… um… how you… err… are still… you know… right? So… massage her mind or… just… act like a freaking coward? You can’t really say no, not like this…

Also, that glass of spirits you promised me?

Start with that glass of spirits, whatever that is. Do you have any way to do this mind thing with out the other looking into things that they shouldn't? Think that you could pull that off?
Why don't you try to bond with things that you may have in common? She is big strong girl that is actually a real softy in the inside and she has lost her only friend, and you are just a alchimist trying to be successful with just one arm that is having a bad time in life, with just a few friends and that is currenlty trying to quit making adicting potions. When people are having a bad time they tend to look for other in their same sircunstances to suport each other. Try that.

>>900987
Mind meld, accidentally reveal you're a virgin, probably get laid! Probably in the bath.

Who need mind melds when you can snuggle?

But, if you do mind meld, in case of emergency, think about how you're a virgin alongside how both scared of and attracted to her you are.

Ovipositers are feminine penises don't @ me

Dont do it. She'll know you watched Emma eat her friend. You know you won't have the ability to keep her from seeing that.

You're already as crap as it's possible to be at keeping secrets even without mind-melding, what's the harm?

>>900987
>Hmm…still, maybe you want to brick up that entrance, so anyone actually listening to him would think he was just crazy…
Yes, you should do that. Because that guy might not be the only thing living in the sewers! And you don’t want any of them to come into your lab!

>Argh, f-fine, you’ll stop with the freaking potions for a while!
Good boy!

>Just stop with the freaking whining, brain!
Never!

>…a pretty girl just asked me to meld with her.
Quick, hide your boner before she notices!

>mind meld with Tunu?
You suck at keeping secrets. You’re gonna end up revealing both your virginity and what happened to Tana!

You should tell her that you’d just make her even more stressed because you’re a nervous wreck and you don’t have a single calming thought in your head!

>Also, that glass of spirits you promised me?
However, you can do that easily.

You know what: This isn't just about getting laid anymore. You know that fortune about Justice meant, didn't you? Yes, you might do something so unforgivable that it will only end in a monster's gullet. But your greed and megalomania are denying what your rationality and conscience wants to talk about. And if you don't think there's anything you can do about that, that fortune will become just as self-fulfilling as if you fulfill it with intent. You need find the confidence in yourself to commit to "changing your path" as it were.
And you need friends to help you with that, even someone who could understand you better than Karn.

Maybe if you focus enough on what fears, feelings or memories is causing your megalomaniac tendencies to act up, you (just) might be able to pull off a mind meld. Memories like that likely go far back in your life and are stronger than what details you have of a stranger you've known for, what, a day now.

Be sure to get sloshed yourself with her, at least. Maybe your thoughts would get incoherent enough that anything you reveal could be ignored as ramblings. Ever hear of what happens in a mind meld while drunk?

Mind meld with a one armed spastic horny mad scientist who has a at best passing relationship with morals. A one armed spastic horny mad scientist who has a secret Tunu should better never, ever find out.

Sounds like fun!

Kaktus 2018/09/09(Sun)13:10 No. 901122 ID: 1301e8
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>Do you have any way to do this mind thing without the other looking into things that they shouldn't?
As long as you don’t accidently bring it up she won’t be able to feel it… unless she forces herself into you, but you don’t think she would do so without reason. Of course, whit your experience with melding and your scattered thoughts… yeah… maybe it’s a bad idea…
>Mind meld, accidentally reveal you're a virgin, probably get laid! Probably in the bath.
Why would her knowing you were a virgin get you laid? Woman prefers men with experience, don’t they? You’re pretty sure they do… also, you’re a one armed, unattractive fool with a boring personality. There’s a reason why you’ve never gotten anything, you know… Besides, you just witnessed her friend’s death… kind of… um… morbid to… you know…?
>Ever hear of what happens in a mind meld while drunk?
Yeah, you’ve heard “DON’T”. Apparently a drunken mind can be rather scary.

>Start with that glass of spirits, whatever that is.
Here, that drink you wanted.
Thanks.
You usually take this strong stuff?
I usually don’t drink at all, but after today… I kind of need something heavy to sooth myself with.
Well, in that case… Cheers?
Cheers.
>You should tell her that you’d just make her even more stressed because you’re a nervous wreck and you don’t have a single calming thought in your head!
You’re stressed out as well? Then maybe I can help you calm down when we meld instead?
N-no it’s… err… fine…
If you say so…

>Who need mind melds when you can snuggle?
Snuggle? As in, laying together in a sofa, listening to some nice music and just enjoy each other’s warmth?
Err… s-sure?
Or maybe start off with a hug? I would go for a hug. Do you?
I… err… ack!

Once again, she embraces you hard enough for you to be unable to move, forcing your arms to your side and your face into her chest.

Mmm… I guess a hug wouldn’t be too bad right now.
Err…
But your muscular friend was right, we stink like old seaweed. Do you have a bath or something I can borrow?
Well… err… I g-got a shower rune that’s… um…
Oh, great! Then I guess we’ll just use that to quickly wash off. You don’t mind scrubbing my back, right? I’ve always had trouble reaching back there.
Um…

>Quick, hide your boner before she notices!
Also, that bottle you had is pressing into my hips again, by the way.
Err… y-yes… “b-bottle”… s-sorry…

I can't believe that the "bottle in my pants" excuse is actually woking. Twice now. Sure, give her a hand, haha. If you worry about getting a boner or something, try to think of your overall situation, that is trying not to be eaten by Ema for being a sinner. That should makefeel you a little less excited, right?

>>901122
She's definitely gonna notice your boner in the shower.

Let's do it.

>>901122
>But your muscular friend was right, we stink like old seaweed. Do you have a bath or something I can borrow?
>Well…err…I g-got a shower rune that’s…um…
You’d better hurry and get in there before Karn tries to get in there with Ema before you and Tunu get in there!

>Oh, great! Then I guess we’ll just use that to quickly wash off. You don’t mind scrubbing my back, right? I’ve always had trouble reaching back there.
Well would you look at that! As soon as you said that you’d stop making those potions, a pretty lady wants to share a shower with you! It’s almost as if the goddesses are rewarding you for giving up those potions!

So maybe if you continue to not make those potions, more nice things will start happening to you!

>Also, that bottle you had is pressing into my hips again, by the way.
>Err…y-yes…“b-bottle”…s-sorry…
Quick, hide your boner before she remembers that she’s still got the anti-undead bottle with her and didn’t give it back to you yet!

Oran, go show her the shower. Then assist in said shower.

It's sexy shower time - but don't get handsy without asking her first. Most girls don't like that.

Kaktus 2018/09/11(Tue)07:45 No. 901337 ID: 1301e8
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>I can't believe that the "bottle in my pants" excuse is actually working.
To be fair, the first time it actually was a bottle.
>Quick, hide your boner before she remembers that she’s still got the anti-undead bottle with her and didn’t give it back to you yet!
She actually gave it back after you left the sewers, but she might notice that… um… you don’t have it in the same pocket as last time…
>If you worry about getting a boner or something, try to think of your overall situation, that is trying not to be eaten by Ema for being a sinner.
While you don’t want to end up like that, the thought is still just hard to actually imagine. Even if you’ve seen her with your own eyes, it’s still hard to actually convince yourself its actually true and not just something you made up. Either way, it’s not killing your boner as you hoped.


>Oran, go show her the shower. Then assist in said shower.
Err… it’s r-right through here… um…
Nice… I’ve only ever used one of these thing twice before. They are kind of expensive, aren’t they?
Um… well… it’s n-not t-that bad if… err… if y-you know h-how to… um… m-maintain the m-magical r-runes y-yourself… err…
Ah, a perk of being an alchemist, then? Neat…

And with that she casually starts to undress, seemingly ignoring that you’re there completely as she simply throw her clothes off into a pile. You’d always imagine the first time seeing a lady undress in front of you it would be a in a slow, sexy way, not it such a… quick and casual way, as if this was just another shower. It does kind of make it even hotter on some levels…

Also, sheesh, my clothes smell as well. Do you have somewhere to clean them?
Um… I mean… I guess I can t-throw it into… err… my cleaner and… um…
You have your own cloth cleaner? Neat! I have to take my stuff to the cleaning house usually and hire a room there.
Um… y-yeah… that’s one of t-the perks of b-being a alchemist as w-well, I guess? I can refill those things myself and… err… j-just so you k-know, it will take a while for i-it to dry? Just… um… throw it into the bin and… err… I’ll fix it up after the s-shower?
Don’t worry. I’ll just… I don’t know, hang around here for a while, while it dries?
Err… r-right…

She puts her clothes in the bin before slithering into the shower chamber, looking back at you over her shoulder as to ask if you were coming or not.

Err… I’ll b-be r-right there! J-just n-need to… um… g-get undressed…

Kaktus 2018/09/11(Tue)07:45 No. 901338 ID: 1301e8
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>Well would you look at that! As soon as you said that you’d stop making those potions, a pretty lady wants to share a shower with you! It’s almost as if the goddesses are rewarding you for giving up those potions!
A pretty lady whose friend you just saw being eaten alive. Tana might have deserved what she got, but Tunu? She doesn’t seem that bad know that you’re starting to get and know her… and now… now you’re… are you taking advantage of her? She must be worried for Tana and you’re… are you just using her to please yourself?
*Sigh* a nice shower does really wash away the weight from your shoulders, doesn’t it?
Err… s-sure…
…I really do hope she’s alright...
Um… I’m s-sure she’s… um... s-safe?
It’s just… I tried so hard to get her away from that job. From the danger. But in the end… it was kind of pointless. Ugh… never mind, let’s focus on something else for a bit. I don’t want to think about her anymore.
…o-okay…?

This is just getting worse and worse… Tunu clearly didn’t deserve what we put her trough… it was Tana’s bad choices, not hers, that led here her. And now you’re here, perving on her in the freaking shower… fuck, you’re pathetic, Oran…

>But don't get handsy without asking her first. Most girls don't like that.
Right. Y-you just need t-to ask… ask if you c-can… touch her… and… err…
Hey, are you going to scrub my back or not? Or do you want me to scrub you down first?
Err… r-right! On m-my way?
Make sure to scrub under the hood, that’s where I usually can’t reach.
S-sure…
Also, don’t be afraid to go low either. I know I can easily reach down there, but it’s just nice having someone else scrub your tail for once.
Err… s-s-sure?

oh goddesses, Oh Goddesses, OH GODDESSES! You’re actually scrubbing a naked lady! You’re actually… a lady… that’s…. just… lost her… fuck… dammit, brain… why can’t you just-

>She's definitely gonna notice your boner in the shower.
Also, do you have a boner right now?
ERRR…
What? Aren’t you used to cleaning yourself with a lady? You’re a Serpent after all, so this wouldn’t be that odd?
Um…
And you got to see a lot of action, what with you being an alchemist and all… though, the serpent community in this city is kind of small, isn’t it?
err…
Wait, when you said snuggle earlier, did you mean…?
…

quietly: I like you

>>901338
Inevitable nervous rambling inbound.
"I mean it doesn't have to be that if you don't want it to I like you but I don't want to force anything on you or take advantage of your current state and I'm a virgin I've never even seen a nude lady in person you're very pretty please don't hurt me."

>>901338
>are you just using her to please yourself?
Ah, so NOW you have a conscience? Not sure how that applies here though, you haven't tried anything. If it makes you feel any better, you can outright tell her you feel like you'd be taking advantage of her if you asked for sex.

>>901338
>What? Aren’t you used to cleaning yourself with a lady? You’re a Serpent after all, so this wouldn’t be that odd?
>And you got to see a lot of action, what with you being an alchemist and all…though, the serpent community in this city is kind of small, isn’t it?
“Tunu, I’m a one armed Serpent, no one wants to be with me and being an alchemist doesn’t change that. So, no, I’ve never cleaned myself with a lady and no, I don’t see any action at all, since I’m still a vir- I mean, very dirty! Yes, you weren’t kidding, it’s very dirty under your hood back here! *forced laughter*”

>Wait, when you said snuggle earlier, did you mean…?
“Nothing, it was a slip of the tongue mind. Just, uh, pretend I didn’t say that.”

If you start to cry and she asks if you’re crying, tell her, “No, I’m not crying. I just got some soap in my eyes.”

I don't know what makes you think a alchimist gets woman like a gigolo, but that is far from the truth. Mainly because i smell like quimicals half of the time, and secondly, i don't live in the best place of town, thus making shady deals with shady people to make actually good profit, aperently. So no, the amout of acttion i get is near death expiriences, not sex.
Also, i know this is probably the worst time to say it and our sircunstances could have been different, pleasant even, but i think you are a really pretty, strong and a really good person.

Let it all out Oran.

Kaktus 2018/09/12(Wed)09:45 No. 901441 ID: 1301e8
File 153677074847.png - (147.89KB , 700x550 , 121.png )

>Ah, so NOW you have a conscience?
This is different! The others made a choice and are experiencing the consequences from it. Tunu… didn’t. The only choice Tunu made was to try and help a friend… who made bad decisions… and suffered the consequences for it. Tunu doesn’t deserve to face her consequences as well.
>If you start to cry…
You’re not going to cry, dammit! Why would you!?

>Inevitable nervous rambling inbound.
I mean it doesn’t have to be you know if you don’t you known I mean want to you know with me but I mean if you want to I you know like you and I can’t I mean but I don’t want to force you know anything on you or you know do something-
Oran.
I mean take advantage of your you know current state and I’m a freaking vir- I mean it’s very dirty under the hood and haven’t nude lady and love and but I mean you are pretty you know please don’t hurt me but I mean you kn-
ORAN! Calm down, you dork. Why are you so nervous all the sudden? This isn’t something new for you, is it?
Tunu, I… I… *sigh* I’m a one armed Serpent, no one w-wants to be with me and b-being an alchemist doesn’t change that.
Being an alchemist means you’re really smart, doesn’t it? Smart people are really attractive, you know.
…m-most people I’ve m-met don’t care f-for smarts… but looks…
You haven’t hung out with a lot of Serpents, have you?
No… I... um… h-haven’t…
That does explain a lot. So you’ve never been with an Ovale in the bath, then? Or in this case, shower?

I… err… h-haven’t r-really seen a… um… l-lot of action at all… and… err…
Come on, it can’t be that bad. You might be a bit of a dork, sure, but you’re not that unattractive.
…I smell like strong chemicals most of the time…
Well, then bath and wear perfume and stuff! It’s not that hard!
It’s n-not that s-simple… and… err… I don’t really live i-in the best place and… err…
You got your own shower, your own cloth cleaner and your place is rather big. It’s no mansion, sure, but this place is clearly above average!
Err… y-you t-think so?
It’s a sweet place, Oran.
Um… I like you?
What was that?
I… I m-mean… I… I think… you’re really pretty and… strong and… um… a really good person?
Really? Heh… well, I think you’re a good person as well, Oran… a huge dork, sure, but an intelligent one.

So… you want to clean off my front as well? Explore my body a bit before we “snuggle”?
Err…
…what’s wrong?
It’s just… a-after all that’s happen… w-with you… and Tana and… I… I feel like… I’m t-taking advantage of you. That I’m using y-your… um… emotional state… err… and… to… y-you know…
…Oran, while I appreciate your concern, it’s not like I’m asking you into some kind of emotional relationship here or anything. I’m just asking for some intercourse.
J-just s-s-sex!?
Have you really had so little contact with other serpents? You’d think your broodparants would have thought you what two consenting adults can do when they are bored. Having a quickie isn’t that different from playing a board game or something, right?
Err… I d-didn’t even h-have… b-b-brood… um…
I mean, it’s not like you’re a complete virgin or anything, right? Haha, I’m just joking, of course. A virgin Serpents? Yeah, right…
…
So… you’re going to scrub me down or do you want me to scrub you down first?

Hey, hold on a second, where DID you grow up. If i am not mistaken, Serpents are the most easy going creatures in this world, and you are awkward as fuck. What happened to you? And what is that about not having a brood? Were you raised by non-Serpents? You don't even act like a Serpent either, you act more like a human or an Sakkalian.

>>901441
>Have you really had so little contact with other serpents? You’d think your broodparants would have thought you what two consenting adults can do when they are bored. Having a quickie isn’t that different from playing a board game or something, right?
Tell Tunu that you didn’t have broodparants to teach you any of these things.

>I mean, it’s not like you’re a complete virgin or anything, right? Haha, I’m just joking, of course. A virgin Serpents? Yeah, right…
Just come clean (heh, it’s funny because you guy are in the shower) and tell her that, yes, you are a complete virgin. And it’s not from a lack of trying either!

>So…you’re going to scrub me down or do you want me to scrub you down first?
Scrub her down and don’t stop until you can see your reflection on her scales!

Inform her you are a complete virgin.

Also, sex is nice and all, but long-term relationships are what's really hot.

I don't really know what's in-character for Oran, so, uh...

Very good boys don't have a lot of casual sex, especially their first time. However, decent boys can still be pretty alright while being a total manwhore, though.
But you want to be as good a boy as you can, don't you, Oran?
Just wash up and snuggle, but without doing anything overtly sexual. Shouldn't blow (teehee) your virginity on a passing fling, anyway.

Kaktus 2018/09/14(Fri)10:11 No. 901679 ID: 1301e8
File 153694506634.png - (142.28KB , 700x550 , 122.png )

>Hey, hold on a second, where DID you grow up. Were you raised by non-Serpents?
You were raised in an orphanage with a Sakkilian headmistress and mostly Sakkilian kids. That’s where you met Karn, as his mom didn’t had time to take care of him herself half the time. So no, you weren’t raised by Serpents and are a bit… um… out of touch with their customs.
>Very good boys don't have a lot of casual sex.
Well, then you’ll simply have to be a bad boy and become a freaking whore or something!
>You want to be as good a boy as you can, don't you, Oran?
You want… no, you need to get laid! That’s what you want!
>Also, sex is nice and all, but long-term relationships are what's really hot.
You don’t care about relationships right now! You’re just fucking horny!

>Scrub her down and don’t stop until you can see your reflection on her scales!
You let your hands explore her body, making sure to touch and examine every part of her. Her chest, her sides, her stomach and… hips… as you get lower, your concentration is broken with a gasp as you feel one of her hands slowly start stroking one of your members, before shifting its attention to the other one.
>Tell Tunu that you didn’t have broodparants to teach you any of these things.
You don’t have… then how did you…?
I w-was a-an orphan… ngg… at… a… err… S-Sakkilian… ah…
That explain so much…
She starts playing with the barbs on the top of your cocks, giving them a bit of a flick as her hand passes over each and every one.

>Just come clean (heh, it’s funny because you guy are in the shower) and tell her that, yes, you are a complete virgin. And it’s not from a lack of trying either!
W-wait, y-you’re actually- b-but… how? That’s horrible! That can’t be good for your mental health at all! You have to remedy that as soon as you can!
…t-that’s w-what I’m t-trying to d-do…
Oh sheesh… your first time… it’s supposed to be with… with someone you trust… someone with the experience to guide you… someone that is close to you. Our only mutual experience is… um… me looking though while you did something you didn’t want to do. I can understand if you… you don’t want to… with me… I’m n-not sure I w-want to… r-ruin it f-for you either…
…t-then w-why are y-you still s-stroking my… um… dicks?
…I guess… if you want to I… how do you want us to go forward? It’s your choice…
Now both her hands are caressing your rods, pumping them both carefully in union.

A) Press her against the wall and start pounding her… HARD!
B) Ask her to just smash you against the wall and fill you to the brim with her eggs!
C) Finish the shower, head to your sofa and make it a slow, gentle fuck there.
D) Finish the shower, head to your sofa and ask her to be gentle with you while you take her ovipositor like a good boy.
E) Just wash up and snuggle, but without doing anything overtly sexual. Shouldn't blow (teehee) your virginity on a passing fling, anyway.
F) …send Tunu away and go find Ema instead. She showed interest in you, right? You really want to wreck that blue ass of hers after all that teasing she did earlier today.

Well, since I you're inevitably gonna bang, I'll go with C.
Loving, gentle sex... mmmmm. Take things at your own pace, Oran.

Yes, non-humanoid dong(s)! Thank you, o great prickly one.

A followed by E.

D

>>901679
Have her give you the D. It's only fair she gets to egg you, and Ema is gonna want your dick later so you get to experience both giving and receiving.

>>901679
D for the same reasons mentioned here: >>901686 !

And make sure you yell at Karn and Ema to keep out of whatever room you’re going to!

But why are you going to the sofa? Wouldn’t it be more comfortable for both of you to use your Serpent water bed? Or is it too small for both of you?

>Go find Ema and bang her instead.
.....I mean, Tunu is right here and she’s willing to go through this with you, so why put it off any longer? Besides, you can always wreck Ema’s ass later, after Tunu leaves.

A) Always A.

>>901679
D

D sounds good. It's time to start acting like a Serpent, baby steps. You are young, you will find someone special later on.

A - get that Serpens puss!

D

>>901682
I'm changing my vote to A.

A

A

Ayyy bby

>>901772
>>901774
Clever ballot stuffing attempt with multiple IPs. Smerg is ID fdfda2 up here >>889760 and throughout the thread.

>>901784
Shit - I was going to bed and decided to check TGChan on my my phone. Guess I was too tired to remember I'd posted stuff already.

My bad.

I'm split. I like dicks, but I like eggdicks.
I'll go with a tentative A.

D.

>>901715
Er, there's no "puss" on Tunu 'cause she's ovale, not female. There's only ovipositor and anus. You may want to reevaluate your choice then.

A then D.

>>901860
If I remember correctly the ovale and male double team the female, but is the ovipositor penetrable? If yes that she could fill you with both her eggs and your own man goo.

G for 'get interrupted, probably by Karn, again'

and then throw a bar of soap at his head because he should have learned to fucking knock by now.

This one of the deciding moments of our time.
To fuck, or not to get fucked...
A then D.

I support small_dom_big_sub.
I go with A.

Kaktus 2018/09/20(Thu)15:19 No. 902520 ID: 1301e8
File 153748199794.png - (64.66KB , 700x550 , 123.png )

[Warning, very much NSFW post, basically just porn.]

>Why are you going to the sofa? Wouldn’t it be more comfortable for both of you to use your Serpent water bed? Or is it too small for both of you?
Serpent beds are freaking expensive, especially big ones. You have one that can fit you, but it would be… really awkward to try and do anything but sleep in it thanks to its size.
>Tunu is right here and she’s willing to go through this with you, so why put it off any longer? Besides, you can always wreck Ema’s ass later, after Tunu leaves.
…y-yeah… Ema will s-still be here later! You… goddesses… you might even… two… the same day…

>A - Press her against the wall and start pounding her… HARD! Get that Serpens puss!
You answer her question by grabbing hold of her hips, shoving her backwards until she hits the wall and following up with smashing your body against her as it comes to a stop. Deliberately skipping all the foreplay, you try your best penetrate her immediately, your dual cocks sliding across the slick scales of her stomach as you miss your mark before finally one of your members gets lucky and managed to pierce her folds. Her hands travel across your back, before pulling you into a deep embrace as soon as she feel you entering her, making the two of you gasp in unison as she forces you into her to the hilt. The two of you stand there for what seems like an eternity, enjoying each other’s warm embrace, while her tight folds squeezes your member in anticipation. When she finally loosen her grip of you, she leans in and whispers…

”Oran… f-fuck me…”

Pulling out as far as you dare, you answer her plea by plunging deep into her once again. The sound of the shower is quickly drowned out by the sound of scales smacking against scales as you pick up speed, Tunu moaning softly each time your hips meet. You try your best to mimic what you’ve read in your novels, to keep a fast but even pace as you breed her, but your inexperience shows. The pace become more and more uneven and awkward, she whines a bit as you accidently slip out of her once or twice, but you’re determined to see this through and quicken your pace. You feel her trying to slow you down a bit, gently pressing you away with her hands, but it’s too late. Consumed by instinct, there is only one thing on your mind as your orgasm nears.

”Ah… s-slow d-down, Oran… ngg… or… or y-you’re g-going to-”

Your whole body shakes as you hilt her one final time, your cock throbbing as it pumps out rope after rope of your virile seed into her depths. She squirm a bit under you as you fill her to the brim, your handiwork making itself know as some of it leaks out from around your buried cock. Finally, your muscles give away and you lose your balance. Tunu catches you as you almost fall over, making sure that you’re still inside you as she holds you against her.

Your thoughts are in disarray. Pure bliss washes over you as you finally realize you actually just managed to lose your virginity inside the ass of a pretty girl… but it’s quickly disrupted by disappointment and nervousness as you realize that you didn’t even manage to last a minute…

Kaktus 2018/09/20(Thu)15:20 No. 902521 ID: 1301e8
File 153748200804.png - (99.08KB , 700x550 , 124.png )

Fuck… s-sorry… I…
Mmm… don’t worry about, Oran… it was your first time…
…t-then… I… I w-wasn’t… um… t-to f-fast? I m-mean… y-you didn’t… err…
Oh, I’m pretty sure you’re the fastest lay I’ve ever had, if not the most eager as well…
S-sorry… I… um… d-didn’t w-want t-to… d-disappoint…
You haven’t disappointed yet. We Serpents do have a custom when it comes to something like this…
Um… y-yes?
If the one giving can’t please the other… well… then they are to switch places and return what was given tenfold…
W-wait…

>Have her give you the D. It's only fair she gets to egg you, and Ema is gonna want your dick later so you get to experience both giving and receiving.
I’m going to pump every last egg I have into that cute little butt of yours, Oran.
Oh… um…
You won’t mind that, right? To be a good boy and carry my eggs for a while?
Err… y-yes… I’d… um… love too?
But first, let’s finish the shower… after all, I don’t want to rush things like you did, do I? I’m going to take my sweet time filling you with my eggs… now turn around so I can scrub your back.
R-right! Of c-course!

She takes her time exploring your body, letting her hands follow each curve and her fingers stroking each of your belly scales. Taking great care to not reach a certain destination, she teases you endlessly, letting her fingers drag tantalizing close to your now flaccid members, just close enough to keep your excited but not close enough to stop your retreating members. As your twin cocks disappears completely back into your body, Tunu turns off the shower and walks out to dry herself, throwing a towel to you to make sure you do the same.

Kaktus 2018/09/20(Thu)15:20 No. 902522 ID: 1301e8
File 153748201846.png - (85.25KB , 700x550 , 125.png )

[Warning, Egg laying in boy butts below.]

>G for 'get interrupted, probably by Karn, again'
As Tunu practically drags you out of the shower chamber, both of you still completely naked, you managed to spot Karn waiting for you outside. He doesn’t say anything, instead just giving you a sly smile coupled with a thumbs up before disappearing, making sure to leave before Tunu even notice him there.

You direct her to your living room and gesture towards the sofa there, expecting her to lay down there for you. Instead, she grabs your hand and guides it towards her crotch, leading it right to the tip of her emerging ovipositor. Feeling it twitch a bit as you squeeze it, you can’t help but feel a renewed excitement as your twin cocks once again start to harden in anticipation. Her female member slowly grows in your hand as you start to pump it, marveling at its size as it seems to just get bigger and bigger. While not as wide as one of yours, it’s quite a bit longer and you can’t help but feel nervous about knowing that soon it will be completely buried inside you. All you can do is to whisper to her to be gentle…

”Relax… let me take care of you…”

With soft hands, she lays you down in the sofa before slithering on top of you, your twin cocks and her member getting sandwiches between the soft scales of your bellies. She just lays there for a moment on top of you, squirming a bit to make her scales drag across your sensitive parts, before sitting up. Grabbing hold of her ovipositor, she guides it towards your entrance and with one slick motion she slides inside you with a moan.

”Unf… y-you’re the perfect incubator… t-tight and warm…”

Her pace is slow, but even, as she plunge into your depths over and over again. Even as she gains some speed she follows a rhythm of some unheard melody, the only music that is heard is the sound of her body pounding into yours. Her soft moans are almost drowned out from the shrill screams of pleasure you make each time she hilts insides you. Then, you feel her mind enters yours and suddenly you are as one. Her every motion, every thrust and moan, you feel it like it was your own body. Your mind is lost in haze of bliss, losing track of the world around you, it feels like she fucks you for an eternity… but then you notice it. She takes you to the base of her cock before suddenly stopping, almost falling over you as her whole body shakes in orgasmic bliss.

”H-here c-comes… ah… t-the first b-batch…”

The first egg presses itself against your entrance, the sudden increase in size making it a tight fit. Tunu whines as it clogs up the base of her ovipositor, forcing her to hump against you in an attempt to insert it into you. The two of you hiss slightly in pain as the egg finally enters you, forcing you open in a way you’ve never been before, but the slight pain is quickly forgotten as the two of you is washed away by the pleasure of feeling her egg travel up her cock. She presses herself against you, trying to lay her egg as deep inside you as possible, but even before her first egg is deposed into your depths, you feel the next one pressing itself against your hole. As it stretches you open you become lost in ecstasy, your twin members throbs as they can’t contain themselves any longer, one of them painting your chest with your own seed as it fires its load. After that you’re simply lost in a fog of pleasure, your senses dull as you feel egg after egg enter you and filling you to the brim…

”T-that was four… huff… I b-bet… I bet I have at least d-double that left… r-ready for a-another batch, cutie?”

Kaktus 2018/09/20(Thu)15:20 No. 902523 ID: 1301e8
File 153748202861.png - (98.24KB , 700x550 , 126.png )

”J-just… one more… egg…”

End of thread stats:

Kills: 4
Items: 3
Secrets: 0
Consumed: 3

Allies: 3
Enemies: 7
Forms: 4

Cheeses: 1
Grains of Dust: 0
Mating Presses: 1

Hardest fight: Danus Cock.

Current rating: C. (As in, you’re currently filled with lizard Cock!.)

Tips: Eat multiple people in a row to keep up your combo meter. Multi-consummation is the best way to get the best high score!

>>902523
Nice. Good going, Oran!

>Tips: Eat multiple people in a row to keep up your combo meter.
Is the fourth wall HUD working against us now, or is that a hint for some kind of secret easter egg ending?

>Tips: Eat multiple people in a row to keep up your combo meter.
Hell nah! You can't corrupt me! I am incorruptible!
I am going to be a good boy!

Also, 7 Enemies? Why!?

Yes - good boy, Oran. Make sure you thank her for filling you full of eggs.

>combo meter
'fraid I'm better at Hotline Miami 2 than vore.

This was likely the best outcome possible.
Can't wait for next thread.

>>902523
Way to go Oran!

Also, don’t give up! I’m sure you can handle more than one more egg~!

>Current rating: C. (As in, you’re currently filled with lizard Cock!.)
And it looks like Ema and Karn are also having some fun~!

>Tips: Eat multiple people in a row to keep up your combo meter. Multi-consummation is the best way to get the best high score!
Nice try, but you can’t fool us! We’re not going to do that, since that’s how we start to lose control!

Kaktus 2018/09/21(Fri)07:11 No. 902641 ID: 1301e8
File 153753910633.png - (874.58KB , 955x774 , TheBeginningQuestionMark.png )

>Is the fourth wall HUD working against us now, or is that a hint for some kind of secret easter egg ending?
The only way to get the good true ending with Danus is by EATING EVRYONE! True fact.
>Hell nah! You can't corrupt me! I am incorruptible! I am going to be a good boy!
Good boys never finish!

-----

Last time on Avdol’s rather odd occurrence.

No matter how hard you pound it, no matter how many times it unleashes its fiery load, my mighty cock will still stand! Do you not see, Mr. Jotaro, you Stand type doesn’t stand a chance against me!
You used a fighting move against a fighting Pokémon, you fucking idiot!
Yare yare daze…

--------

HORY SHEEET! My daughter is pregnant!
And I’m the daddy, bitch!
Yare yare daze…

--------

Watch out! That’s not me! That’s my evil twin, Lodva!
Yare yare daze…
I can’t really fathom how you didn’t notice earlier, what with me having an evil goatee and everything…

--------

Stands are making the frogs gay!
…what.
All stand users are just immigrant gay vampires who are trying to corrupt our youth!
Um… I mean… that’s kind of true?
NOW WHERE DID I PARK MY HORSE!?

--------

And now… back to where we left off…

This is… err… the work of an enemy stand! YES! AN EVIL STAND! Right, muhammed!?
Mmmf?
SAY WAAAAAAAA!?
…you know, the constant “yare yare daze” maybe wasn’t that bad…
*cough* y-yes… um… Mr. Joestar is correct. This is the work of an enemy stand to… distract you while… um… they sneak up on us and replace one of us without the others even noticing!

…yeah, no, I’m not buying it.
That just sound stupid, old man.
Sacré bleu! That is the most crétin thing I’ve ever heard!
GASP!

Kaktus 2018/09/21(Fri)07:11 No. 902642 ID: 1301e8
File 153753911734.jpg - (60.60KB , 533x300 , Totally not a spy.jpg )

TWO JOTAROS!?
What?
Hon hon hon…
One of them must be an imposter sent by DIO!
So are we going to beat him up or what?
Hon hon hon. They will never suspect that I, Polnareff, is not actually Jotaro but actually an assassin!
There’s no way to tell them apart!
…he just told you he wasn’t me? He’s doesn’t look or sound anything like me! He’s wearing a freaking piece of cardboard over his face for Star Platinum sake!
Just according to the baguette*! Hon hon hon!
Eh, there’s no way to tell them apart so we’ll just have to kill them both.
Wait what?
Wait quoi?
Wait, Mr. Joestar, isn’t there a better way?
Like what?
Like turning your back to me so I can make you experience La petit mort! Hon hon hon!
Hmm… I don’t know… sounds complicated…

*Note: Baguette means plan.

Sorry I don't speak anime

>>902642
Obviously you can tell who's the real Jotaro from their stands. Only the real Jotaro has Star Platinum!

Or make them fight eachother.

Only a good jotaro would know all the ocean facts.

>Good boys never finish!
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!

>*Note: Baguette means plan.
No it does not!

>What do?
We must use information only the real Jotaro would know! Quickly, what is the alias for Jotaro Kujo?! Only teh real one will answer this correclty!

>>902665
Yeah, that works too: Jotaro, would you fuck a dolphin?!

Kaktus 2018/09/22(Sat)13:58 No. 902811 ID: 1301e8
File 153764993066.jpg - (121.17KB , 1280x720 , Star Platinums.jpg )

>Obviously you can tell who's the real Jotaro from their stands. Only the real Jotaro has Star Platinum!
Show yourself, Star Platinum!
Ugh!
Show yourself, Silver ch- I mean Star Platinum?
…
…do anyone remember what his stand actually looked like?
Don’t look at me, I haven’t even seen it in this canon yet.
Hmm… we might be able to discern its looks from its name?

Yes! Exactly! And as you can see, my silver chariot is kind of platinum colored, n’est-ce pas?
It is a lot more platinum colored than the other one, yes… the other one is kind of… purple?
And… um… it’s a fencer, see? A fencer can be like a star in a competition so… star Platinum?
… … …that make complete logical sense! This silver knight must be Star Platinum!
Ugh?
What.

>Or make them fight eachother.
That’s it! I’m just going Ora on your ass, you cheese eating French-
Ugh?
What do you mean, you’re still KO’d?
Ugh!
I forgot to visit a Pokémon center after our last fight? But… that’s not… don’t I have any potions or something?
Ugh…
This is going nowhere. There has to be a better way to solve this.

>We must use information only the real Jotaro would know!
Mr. Joestar, as your grandson, you have to know something about him no one else does.
He’s my what now!?
Never mind…

What is the alias for Jotaro Kujo?!
It’s JoJo, of course!
Err… what he said?
Damn, they both answered identically!
No, we d-
We need harder questions if we’re to find the imposter in our mist!

Kaktus 2018/09/22(Sat)13:59 No. 902812 ID: 1301e8
File 153764994263.jpg - (7.65KB , 225x225 , JoJoTrueSelf.jpg )

>Only a good jotaro would know all the ocean facts.
Which animal can smell a drop of blood from miles away?
A SHARK! Hon hon hon!
That’s a myth. There isn’t any ocean animal that can smell blood like that.
Everyone knows sharks have super good smelling when it comes to blood! One point to the man with the cardboard mask! Speaking of blood, which octopi drinks blood!
Vampire squid!
That’s neither an octopus or squid nor does it drink blood! Also, the plural for octopus is octopuses, not octopi!
That’s two points to the fake one. Now, our last question… which shark is the biggest?
The great white, duh.
The Whale shark.
The fuck is a whale shark? Some kind of fantasy hybrid from D&D, like an owlbear? Yeah, the one with the cardboard mask wins. The fake Jotoro is clearly the real one.
Yare yare daze…
But then again…

Enough of these games. Let’s ask the real question here! Jotaro, would you fuck a dolphin?!
What? Of course not!
Yes.
Huh!?
…wait, really?
The magnificent dolphin… no, all the magnificent sea life are sacred! The beauty of the sea… the endless waves of the ocean, that is what I fight for. A dolphin, that is my true self! I AM THE DOL-
There’s no way my grandson would ever say something weird like that, which means you’re the spy!
Wait wha-

Kaktus 2018/09/22(Sat)13:59 No. 902813 ID: 1301e8
File 153764996034.jpg - (30.78KB , 480x360 , BoomHeadshot.jpg )

*Boom!*

There, problem solved!
Um…
His body will turn red any moment now… see?
That’s blood.
Oh… um… in that case… Ha! We now know your true identity, spy! Get ready for a fight!
A fight? I was just going to stab you in the back…

Kaktus 2018/09/22(Sat)13:59 No. 902814 ID: 1301e8
File 153764997424.jpg - (526.87KB , 1920x1080 , DontTrustFrench.jpg )

Your next line is, “You might have found me out, but Jotaro is-
Backstab!
NANI!?
I never was on your side, hon hon hon!
Curse you sudden but inevitable betrayal!!! Curse you… boneraff… curse… hory… sheet…
Hon hon hon, Polnareff has done again.

Kaktus 2018/09/22(Sat)13:59 No. 902815 ID: 1301e8
File 153764999194.jpg - (49.67KB , 480x360 , FIGHT!.jpg )

Oh no! We’re being attacked by Guile from street fighter! We’re screwed!
Your mother was hamster and your father smell of elderberries!
Do not worry, Mr… whatever your last name is, I am a seasoned Dhalsim main! I will make short work of this enemy!
I don’t know… he seems dangerous… and the French is known for never giving up!
I fart in your general direction!
I will not let you down, Mr. Joestar!

(I need a plan to defeat this serious, respected and absolutely not a comic relief character. I can’t just shoot a bunch of ankhs at him like I did with JoJo… or can I?)
Go home and be a family man!

B) Shots ankhs at him! MORE ANKHS! CROSSFIRE HURRICANE! WHY IS IT CALLED THAT IT’S NOT A FREAKING HURRICANE!
Y) Strike a badass pose! Defeat him with the power of FABULOUS!
A) Create a giant clock out of fire that will count down to his DOOM!
X) Whip out your huge flaming cock and use it too swordfight with him!
L) Do something else that isn’t suggested here?
R) This controller have way to many buttons…

>Choose another character, we all know that there's only one thing that's OP as fuck in jojo fighting games.
>hol.
>fucking
>horse & Boingo!

>>902816
Fucking this, spam glass shards and make the unavoidable movie with the pipes!

B+A. Flaming ankhs.

For get ankhs summon swastikas, that'll get him to surrender instantly!

I mean it'll also get this show canceled but so what who cares, everyone knows nobody actually watch anime unironically.

Get this gosh-dang anime out of my good Christian quest.

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Select Start

Kaktus 2018/09/24(Mon)11:48 No. 902995 ID: 1301e8
File 153781493318.jpg - (48.33KB , 440x638 , ShowOffThatButt.jpg )

>Get this gosh-dang anime out of my good Christian quest.
GASP!
>gosh-dang.
Sorry sir, this is a Christian server quest, so no FRICKING swearing. We’ll return to the dang hardcore, sinful snake intercourse momentarily.

>Forget ankhs summon swastikas, that'll get him to surrender instantly!
The Nazi heroes are in Battle Tendency, not Stardust Crusaders.
And don’t mention the s-word, or we might summon him!
S-word? Swastika?
No, I mean SCIENCE!
>Flaming ankhs!
Taste my ultimate technique! CROSSFIRE HURRICANE!
You already-
Combined with homoerotic poses to make them even more FLAMING! GREAT, FLAMING COCK, SHOW OFF YOUR TIGHT TUSH!
Buk BUK BUKKAKEE!!!
As long as I keep this up, you will never have enough time to move forward and charge your attacks at the same time!
Oh?

Kaktus 2018/09/24(Mon)11:49 No. 902996 ID: 1301e8
File 153781494432.jpg - (164.79KB , 760x655 , FLASHKICK.jpg )

FLASH KICK!
WHAT!?
SONIC BOOM!
But those moves are backwards charged ones! You can’t do them while moving forward!
Hon hon hon! I’m a CPU, you fool! I don’t need to follow your silly rules! FLASH KICK!
Then that leave me no choice but to use my secret weapon…
>↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Select Start
Cheat codes? Do you have no honor? Bah, no matter, this isn’t contra so-
FREEDOM MOOD ACTIVATED! AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!
What in the-
IT’S HOL. FUCKING. HORSE TIME! YEEHAAW!
Oh no…

Kaktus 2018/09/24(Mon)11:49 No. 902998 ID: 1301e8
File 153781498661.jpg - (138.39KB , 1280x720 , 'MERICA.jpg )

The destruction of the Pillar men was an inside job! President Valentine knew before hand it would happen! That proves that his stand is a lizard person from planet Mexico and he is the cause of all illegal aliens!
Sacre bleu, what are you going on about?
This is American soil your stepping on, alien! Go home to your home planet!
This is Egypt! …and I’m a proud Frenchmen!
French? Didn’t we kill you all under the second war? Also, not American soil!? Everything belongs to ‘merica, the land of the FREE! It’s our right to enslave everyone else! SLAVERY, FUCK YEAH! For this insult you will face the ultimate attack of my stand, “Really lax gun laws! (It’s just a gun I got out of a happy meal.)”
Your ultimate attack? Spamming that glass shard attack and the unavoidable pipe move?
What? No! I’ll shove my fingers into your nose! FOR FREEDOM!
Fre- GAH!
TASTE THE FREEDOM, YOU FASCIST SCUM! THEY ARE CALLED FREEDOM FRIES, NOT FRENCH FRIES!
W-what does that have to do-
Did zomeone zay… Science!?
Huh?
Science?

Kaktus 2018/09/24(Mon)11:49 No. 902999 ID: 1301e8
File 153781499861.jpg - (127.22KB , 670x629 , WellThisShowIsGettingCanceled.jpg )

Americana and Frenchman fighting like little girls, ja? This shows that ya need big German man to really get this quest going!
What in the name of baguette?
Weren’t we allies in the war?
And who better than big Nazi cyborg man, ja? I present to ya, Major Stroheim!
It’s clear this quest need some more cyborg Germans, ja?

Kaktus 2018/09/24(Mon)11:50 No. 903000 ID: 1301e8
File 153781501083.jpg - (197.87KB , 793x1024 , NAZISCIENCE.jpg )

IT’S TIME TO SHOW THE WORLD WHY NAZI SCIENCE IS THE GREATEST SCIENCE!

https://youtu.be/-Tdu4uKSZ3M?t=40


>I mean it'll also get this show canceled…
Canceled!? No one can morally cancel someone for zhowing of the zuperior German engineering! And even if we get canceled, we can just resurrect the thread with FORBIDDEN SCIENCE!
We’re so going to get banned from this quest board…
I’m not sure I even know what’s going on anymore…

And then Dinosaur DIO showed up.

>>903001
You mean that guy from Part 7 aka Steel Ball Run?

>>903000
Trick him into stealing someone's catchphrase so that he gets sued.




...in America.

How could i have forgotten the finger in the nose attack... I feel ashamed.


ANYWAY, put some random dinosaurs in there, i don't fucking know. WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

Kaktus 2018/09/25(Tue)03:00 No. 903096 ID: 1301e8
File 153786965673.png - (1.82MB , 2519x1273 , Diosaurus.png )

>And then Dinosaur DIO showed up.
>You mean that guy from Part 7 aka Steel Ball Run?
Expecting a picture of Diego Brando raptor form from Steel Ball Run? TOO BAD. BADLY EDITED DIO DINOSAUR TIME! WAAA! I MEAN WRYYY!!

How dare you continue with this unchristian filth.
Y'all need Jesus.

>>903096
We would need Paraplegic Johnathan to stop this monstrosity.

Tell him to go eat shit, anons.

And then Griffith showed up.

>>903128
Tell him yourself.