reroastme 2018/02/22(Thu)17:42 No. 869572 ID: 60d4d8
File 151935017160.jpg - (36.51KB , 944x632 , fools.jpg )

>>869277
>>869361
>>869379
>>869416

Wow...you all said some pretty mean stuff...even meaner than last time.

I'd probably break down again if I didn't have...

reroastme 2018/02/22(Thu)17:44 No. 869573 ID: 60d4d8
File 151935026568.jpg - (52.27KB , 944x632 , haterepellingpropbeanie.jpg )

This super rad hat my dad gave me!

>>869573
Calvin's was better. You didn't even have to eat any sugar coated death cereal to earn that.

Your hat is shit, doesn't even have the color green on it.

Here is to hoping your propeller is powered so you just lift off and float the fuck away.

>>869584
Assuming it can even lift this giant piece of shit.

Oh good, there's a juvenile morons hat on the faceless saltshaker now.

>>869573
How can you break down again when you're already broken? Reflect back on your life so far. Think about how badly your life went when you're already at your age and still wear a hat like that.

No wonder he gave you that hat. You probably can't survive the world without it with how weak you are. Plus, you asked for it.

Have you ever considered the fact that your dad just gave it to you to make you go away? Because let’s face it, i can’t imagine anyone actually wanting to be near you while you do your stupid shit.

The only reason he’s still around is because he doesn’t want to pay child support for a kid not even a mother could love.

You could be the spokesperson for post-birth abortions and would easily garner so much public support from looks alone that the neighboring countries would consider it too.

reroastme 2018/02/23(Fri)09:08 No. 869675 ID: 60d4d8
File 151940573352.jpg - (35.93KB , 944x632 , dadlied.jpg )

>>869576
>>869584
>>869586
>>869614

Stupid hat!
You didn't protect me from anything!
They're horrible.
You're all so horrible!

>>869615
He lied, he went away and he lied.

...

Maybe I should go away.

1. going away is pointless, you exist because of this quest.
2. you literally asked for this so you have no one to blame but yourself.
3. use this experience to make it harder to make fun of you, as of right now it is MUCH too easy.

Why does success feel like failure?

Harbard Grim 2018/02/23(Fri)11:26 No. 869694 ID: 249c00
File 151941397159.jpg - (97.76KB , 690x912 , EDA3ED46-823B-4623-B374-DFE54D78A517.jpg )

No... I came for laughs and roasts! Not tears! This is bad ending!

NO! I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT

I know just what to do!

>>869694
Adopt a kitten?

Become a better person. We can help you.

Tearducts exist to keep eyes moist WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE THEM?!?!!!?

Harbard Grim 2018/02/23(Fri)14:01 No. 869719 ID: 3583d1
File 151942326322.png - (2.73MB , 2048x2732 , 7ABBBC32-68A9-4384-830F-A8816EE2EFDF.png )

>>869697
Thank you for volunteering Kome! You need to fill out the es of the sheet below.

>>869719
Oops, you adopted the wrong boi, you adopted the one with a face

>>869720
He doesn't need a face to be a handsome boi, and besides everyone knows a real parent gives their child battle-axes and bitches, thats a REAL gift

>>869719
...

*leaves*

reroastme 2018/02/24(Sat)10:50 No. 869850 ID: 60d4d8
File 151949821546.jpg - (10.77KB , 944x632 , crickets.jpg )

...

>>869850
It can only go uphill from rock bottom, where you're standing, but I'm sure you'll find a way to go lower, somehow.

>>869719
The judges of TGchan court find Kome to be an unfit parent and are taking the child back to the shelter .

>>869852
Damnit Kome! How dare you neglect our child you heartless jerk!

Wait a minute...

*GASP*

HIS REAL DAD WAS NEGLECTFUL! KOME ARE YOU REAL DAD?

NO I WILL SAVE HIM!! HE NEEDS A WICKEDLY AWESOME BATTLE AXE!

>>869859
Don't forget the bitches! ...NEVER forget the bitches.

>>869850
Even your crickets are terrible. I've never heard a group of bugs so out of tune.

>>869859
You're a good dude, Harbard.
Even if you are mad as an otter.

>>869863
I prefer the term “Badger fucking crazy” but that works too

reroastme 2018/02/24(Sat)16:28 No. 869883 ID: 60d4d8
File 151951850872.jpg - (30.81KB , 944x632 , nanna.jpg )

Oh excuse me.
Hello, I'm so terribly sorry to interrupt but have any of you seen my grandson?
He wondered off and I think he came here.

>>869883
We didn't see your grandson but we did see a semi-sapient pile of crying excrement masquerading a human being a short while ago.

>>869883
Yes he did, he ran away crying. But I want to make it up to him. I have this really awesome battle axe and some very foxy ladies that would love to meet him.

>>869883
I think I saw him wander off to go put on a wig and dress a little while earlier.

>>869883
who let you out of the kitchen grandma?

>>869892
Abort! She's not declared as part of the challenge!

>>869883
There's a kid challenging people to make him cry, he just left. Does that count?

We saw no son, only a pitiful excuse of existence.

There's a puddle of sad and emptiness, but no we have not.

From my perspective, it looked like your grandson liquified into a puddle of tears. We're sorry. We don't know where exactly he went. Maybe he looked for comfort foods.

reroastme 2018/02/25(Sun)14:15 No. 870066 ID: 60d4d8
File 151959692885.jpg - (17.70KB , 944x632 , thats.jpg )

>>869886
>>869885
>>869954
>>869963

I don't understand, did you see him or not?

Wait a second that's... *old person exertion noises*

reroastme 2018/02/25(Sun)14:17 No. 870067 ID: 60d4d8
File 151959705134.jpg - (37.35KB , 683x707 , hewashere.jpg )

This is his favourite hat I got him, he takes it everywhere with him...it's ruined!

Tell me now, what did you do to him!

Wait a minute. He said his DAD got him that hat! Who are you?!

>>870067
Oh, we completely and utterly wrecked his emotionally because he thought he could handle the roasts.

He was wrong.

>>870067
...

I’m sorry... I’ll go look for him

>>870067
To be fair, he was literally asking for it.

He came to us proud and confident, asked us to insult him, and we did, but he ran away crying. He ruined that hat because he thought it didn't protect him from the roasts we served him. We don't exactly where he went. He just disappeared from my view.

>>870069
Maybe his father got it from grandma and gave it to sonny.

>>870072
He handles a roast worse than a vegan with irritable bowel syndrome. Have you considered raising a less worthless grandson?

>>870069
Oh... he never got it from his dad, his grandma wanted him to think he did... THIS FEELS BAD, MAN

Hey, we just met his demands, not our fault he's so spineless that he can't take it. And he's terrible at dishing it out too.

reroastme 2018/02/26(Mon)13:16 No. 870308 ID: 60d4d8
File 151967979481.jpg - (33.06KB , 683x707 , don'tmakemelaugh.jpg )

>>870072
>>870179
>>870181
>>870245
You've been insulting him? The boy is slow! You think it's funny to pick on the retard to you? Shame on you all.

>>870069
>>870180
His father? Hahaha, don't be rediculous, he ran off with that Mexican whore before the boy was even born, did he tell you that? No, he's always had that hat, it's one of Lesters' hand-me-downs god rest his soul.

>>870308
Hey I found him and-

Uh oh...

reroastme 2018/02/26(Mon)13:22 No. 870313 ID: 60d4d8
File 151968012463.jpg - (34.28KB , 683x707 , getbackhereyoufatshit.jpg )

Michael?!

Michael get back here!

Michael what did they say to you?!

Michael get back here you fat piece of...*coughs

This is all Lester's fault.

Somehow.

>>870313
Suplex him grandma

>>870313
HEY!

Don’t you EVER talk to a child like that. If you’re gonna talk to us about the way you treat him then practice what you goddamned preach!

Hey Mike I’m sorry about what I said about you and your awesome hat. You’re a cool kid.

>>870313
Use hat as projectile weapon.

>>870308

Pot, meet Kettle.

>>870313
You deserve each other

>>870313
Wow where'd you learn to raise a kid? Demon Academy?

SLOW. DOWN. GRANDMA.

Literally. You're going to have a heart attack at this rate. We'll grab the kid, you just go down to 0.5MPH and find yourself a cafe, get some soup.

>>870313
I see where your grandson gets his behavior from now.

reroastme 2018/02/28(Wed)10:34 No. 870690 ID: 60d4d8
File 151984284147.jpg - (32.27KB , 1152x648 , maybe.jpg )

>>870344
>>870505
>>870634

You know nanna, maybe they're right. You're the one that roasts me! You're the one who treats me bad. Maybe I'm so weak because you always tell me I am!

Had you considered that, Nanna?

reroastme 2018/02/28(Wed)10:34 No. 870691 ID: 60d4d8
File 151984285903.jpg - (30.51KB , 1152x648 , nan.jpg )

Nanna?

>>870691
...

Uh-oh...

I’m gonna call an ambulance guys, I think she just had a heart attack...

BE STRONG MIKE!

Don't just stand there and stare, do something!

Wow you killed your nanna way to live up to our predictions of what a terribly awful person you are. You're the worst.

CLEAR!

*Taser*

Well, on the plus side, you're kind of like Batman now.

I mean, not in any real sense, but he also got his guardians killed and went insane. You do have billions of dollars to cushion the blow, right?

>>870838

No no no, that's too weak, let me show you.

*grabs sledgehammer*

In the name of my father, and his father before, I, KaiserOwes, CAST YOU OUT!

*throws hammer at michael*

>>870772
I think this may have transcended the roasts

Kid, you screwed up. You killed her.

YOU FUCKED UP

reroastme 2018/03/10(Sat)14:10 No. 872815 ID: bf2a9e
File 152071983121.jpg - (79.79KB , 1824x1272 , 5.jpg )

Dun

reroastme 2018/03/10(Sat)14:13 No. 872816 ID: bf2a9e
File 152071998856.jpg - (71.30KB , 1824x1272 , yo.jpg )

Hola guys, remember me?
Mike. I came here a few years ago.

Who are you?

Look, i know we had an intermission between then and now but you’re just really forgettable.
Whatever, doesn’t matter, what do you want from the almighty spirits/gods/guides/therapists/roasters of tgchan?

>>872816
How’s it going little brother? Hope the battle axe I got you has crushed your enemies, driven them before you, anf that you’ve heard the lamentations of their women.

>>872816
How was the funeral?

>>872816
your dead and in purgatory you know

Yes. What do you want now?
Also you're also super generic.

Arent you supposed to develop when you get older instead of degrading futher?

Wow, nice tail. Your grandma give that?

it seems you've gotten a bit fatter, and no im not going to sugarcoat it as you'd just eat it too, you fat pig

That's disgusting.

>>872816
Woah man, you haven't changed. Like, at all.

Who?

Did we help you discover your inner masochist?

Yeah? How's your head after i threw my sledgehammer at ya?

Did you get stronger like I told you to?

reroastme 2018/03/14(Wed)14:36 No. 873661 ID: bf2a9e
File 152106340461.jpg - (59.10KB , 1824x1272 , fightclub.jpg )

Yeah, you guys met me at a pretty weird time in my life.

I don't know if you heard, my Grandma passed away not long after the drama that happened here. She was cranky sometimes but I still feel a bit bad about all this. I'm currently living with my Dad's family in Honduras.

Anyway, I just came to say, no hard feelings about the whole incident and don't feel bad about the whole roast thing.

Although... If you wanted to, you could roast me again for old times sake.

>>873661
Man... Nah I can't do that. How about I just send you those bitches I promised, you look old enough for them now.

Why do you insist on wasting our time like this? We know what’s going to happen, and we definitely know you’re gonna run away crying just like last time so why do you even bother asking us to roast you?
I say this because every time you do some inane thing, you act as if it’s somehow gonna go better for you than the last time you tried it.
Maybe you are an idiot that thinks “oh, i’ll do the exact same thing again, it went wrong last time but i’m sure it’ll work out this time”
Or maybe that’s what you want? You want us to roast you untill someone else dies and maybe this time it’ll be you, because you’re too much of a weak bitch to actually do anything for yourself in your life and too much of an idiot to get anything right.

Why do you even bother?

Do you really think that's a good idea?

Ok.

In the power bla bla bla, I cast you out bla bla.

*Throws a sledgehammer thats on fire at Mike*

>>873661
No. Everyone shut up. We're roasting chicken sausages. End of story.

>>873686

Exactly. That's what we're doing right now.

>but I still feel a bit bad about all this
You only feel a bit bad about getting your Nanna killed? Wow. Ice cold. No wonder you need to be roasted.

reroastme 2018/04/17(Tue)09:55 No. 879224 ID: 97f49b
File 152398415547.jpg - (43.78KB , 1824x1272 , fin.jpg )

Thank you all.

>>879224
Take care bud