Hello old friend... I now add my voice to this cacophony of mad wisdom.

You disappointed at your success, perhaps you need more foes?

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)15:24 No. 73746 ID: 1db014
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Here in the workshop, my loyal kobold underlings toil to create things, not just for our own use, but for an influx of gold, from those who have need of their creations.
Their respect is well-deserved. I treat them well, far better than I imagine any other man would treat a kobold. For this, and for the security I provide, I have their undying loyalty.

And so it is with all my minions, devoted to the last.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)15:27 No. 73749 ID: 1db014
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Yes indeed, for now I have an expanding rank of servants to call my own, a small but promising hoard of belongings and gold, and a growing fortress just waiting to be stocked.

In fact, at the moment, it seems there is only one small problem.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)15:28 No. 73751 ID: 1db014
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...well, perhaps... not so small.

>>73751
She awaits your ministrations. This treatment shall require a deep medication injection if you know what I mean...

...So what's the problem?

>>73755

Oh don't worry I jest. I suspect you are now regretting your pronounced preference for beefy girls ehh?

>>73751
ASK FINESSE FOR HELP.

Well I'm at a loss. You made sure that's Arabella right? Be a gentleman. Give her a tour of the place.

Well, I suppose you could try talking to her. That way, we may find you some way out of this mess without having to do the horizontal bop.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)15:42 No. 73765 ID: 1db014
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>>73756
>...So what's the problem?
The problem? THE PROBLEM is that if I want to keep the trust of my strongest ally I'm charged with an indelibly undignified responsibility! The Commander's resources and the Tower's strategic position are one I cannot afford to lose! That's the problem!

>>73765
What is this "indelibly undignified responsibility" of which you speak?

>>73765
So, screwed if you do, screwed if you don't?

Have any gentlemen friends of a base enough sort to take this duty for you?

>>73765
Well, I thought flat chicks didn't do anything for you! What's wrong with a girl with some meat on her?

It's strictly business. I'm sure she'll understand.

>>73767
He has to have sex in order to save someone. If I recall correctly.

>>73765
What's wrong?
I thought you LIKED the curvy ones!
Look at how many curves SHE has~ DAYUM!

>>73765
Resuggesting we ask Finesse. She can help us figure out a dignified way to solve this problem, surely.
She's smart, professional, and we're all adults here. There is no possible way this can backfire.

>>73765
So... what's her name? Did you ask her?

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)15:52 No. 73784 ID: 1db014
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>>73763
>You made sure that's Arabella right?
Of course I did! Do you take me for a fool? I wouldn't have come this far unless I was absolutely sure I had to!

>>73767
>What is this "indelibly undignified responsibility" of which you speak?
Arabella, our new guest, has Nymph's Jinx. It's a wasting disease, and the only cure is... well. Something an all-female staff couldn't provide. The physical action is supposed to dispel the ailment.
From what little I've been able to learn about the disease, it's fairly slow-acting, so while there is a time limit, it's nothing too immediate.

>>73778
>Resuggesting we ask Finesse.
ABSOLUTELY NOT. Arabella has been here for two days now and I've told everyone little beyond that she's a guest from the Commander and should be treated with respect. This is a shameful enough situation for the both of us, there's no reason I need to bring any more attention to it than it already has.

So what is the DELAY exactly?

>>73784
So a Goblinforged clockwork vibrator is not going cut it?

She need to actually take in the seed of a male?

Who drew the chalk picture?

>>73784
Damnit, Muschio, stop being a little girl and just rail her.

Come on, knowing your prowess, it's like a five minute thing.

You can't take ramming your lower snout into that girl for a few minutes? You took a pike through the leg!

>>73789
He confirmed it's her.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)16:01 No. 73797 ID: 1db014
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>>73787
By the GODS, do I really have to think about it like that?! This is unsettling enough without such... graphic terms! I always thought my subconscious had more decency than THIS!

>>73776
>I thought you LIKED the curvy ones!
Yes, I suppose that's fair to say: I prefer women who have... curves.
But a CIRCLE only has one curve. That's not the "shape" I was hoping for!
Besides, she's an ORC! Are you just being particularly stubborn, or did you not see her FACE? Ye gods, man!

>>73797
>face

So do her from behind. Her face doesn't matter when she's bent over Finesse's desk.

>>73797
Well, you could always turn the lights off.

>>73797
Who do you think is the mottest person in the world? Imagine him/her/it when you do the deed.

>>73805
*hottest

>>73797

Didn't you once say that pain is simply weakness leaving the body?

You endured far worse than this.

Man up, unzip your pants, and unleash the motherfucking fury whilst letting loose a terrible battlecry!

CHARGE!

>>73797
If you're going to be an evil overlord, eventually you're going to have to do some raping and pillaging.

Consider this your beginner course in the "Raping" part.

Now, man the FUCK up, get in there, drop trou, and pork that orc!

>>73797
What about that guy Tislomer knows? Nino?
We could probably force him to do it.
Of course, he probably wouldn't be as good at it as you are. Actually he'd probably be pretty terrible.

> Besides, she's an ORC!
She's not THAT unattractive....

>>73797
Hey man I was just trying to think of a way you could get out of this, without being up to the hilt in Orc.

HEy hey hey hey muschio.

She's a lady. You should speak of her like one.

>>73797
Why not find a male orc? Your staff could use some more muscle, I suppose.

Pay someone to cure the disease?

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)16:15 No. 73833 ID: 1db014
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>>73808
>If you're going to be an evil overlord, eventually you're going to have to do some raping and pillaging.
I was under the impression those deeds were performed towards attractive people and places that contained valuables, respectively.
I wouldn't rob a poorhouse, and I wouldn't rape an orc.

>>73800
>>73801
>>73805
That's like putting a bandage over an axe wound.
I don't foresee any real way out of this, but I suppose it's best to do whatever I can to make it less--

>>73809
>What about that guy Tislomer knows? Nino?
Oh ho! Yes indeed, perhaps I can just get a stand-in to do the act for me. Ideally someone who wouldn't then go blabbing about it to every underling in this dungeon.
Babrakus might be a trustworthy replacement as well. Hm.

So, then, should I just go ask him if he'd like to help me? Try to find this Nino character?

>But a CIRCLE only has one curve. That's not the "shape" I was hoping for!
Besides, she's an ORC! Are you just being particularly stubborn, or did you not see her FACE? Ye gods, man!
Oh come on now, that's not fair.
You're just caught up in your preconceived notions about Orcs.
Forget the fact that she's an orc and actually LOOK at her. She ain't that bad~
Kinda cute, actually.

From the way I see it, there are three options.
1. Bang her and get it over with.
2. Get someone else to bang her, results may vary.
3. Don't bang her and lose a powerful ally.
Honestly one seems the fast procedure, if not the most desirable. Two is better but will take time and we may not have much of that left. Three is just no. So what do you think Boss?

>>73833
Nino's involved with Tislomer. It would be a big loss in morale for her if you made him do it.

Ask Babrakus if he drew that chalk picture. Maybe he's into circles.

Talk to Babrakus. He seems a stoic and humble fellow and might accede to his sense of duty. Plus maybe he's into that sort of thing. You never know...

Babrakus.

>>73833
I still say bring in some outside help. Why not have an orc on the payroll?

If someone else does it, Arabella might tell your strongest ally and she might take it the wrong way.

>>73833
Nino's not really associated with the dungeon, so it's less likely he'll blab to everyone.
Plus, it's probably best if we seek him out eventually anyway, so he's not running around without us having any idea what he's doing.
I say we look for him. It'll solve a few minor problems at once.

>>73833
Well, we've found out that Tislomer totally likes Babrakus, it's probably best if we don't ask him. Nino is working for someone somewhere that somehow wants something, getting him on your side could provide a source for a possible enemy, but it could also give you information about him. Go find Nino.

>>73846
Tislomer and Nino are dating. I think you missed a chapter:
http://www.tgchan.org/kusaba/questarch/res/55632.html

Just think of Red Fang when you're with her~

How about we go find another orc?

We have to be kind and respecting to our guest though to remain in alliance with feminists, no matter how much in debt they are with us for freeing them. We should ask her opinion of what is going to be the pick of the litter with her special case. it would only be kind and respectful to a feminist.

Introduce her to Barbakurus and try to find Nino. Or suggest to her we can go to town and get her a nice orc male whore. She might as well have fun with getting rid of this diesease you should suggest. A man with your physique can't possibly please her is what you also should say to her.

I digress, I wish it was the meek rabbit with the nice hat. She looked like she had some decent hips, eh Muschio? Ah? AHH?

Passing this off to someone else could make you look bad boss. She was sent to you because your allies trust you. If you delegate the responsibility then it could backfire on you.

>>73857
Yeah, we may want to man up and ask her opinion on this matter.

Hopeful she will be okay with us finding a young strapping Orc lad downtown (hell we could even hire him on as a minion and get a reduced hiring price as with the promise of a lady friend who requires his special care.)

We are technically her boss's boss so we don't want to make any later work with her more awkward than it needs to be.

>>73850
Au contraire, this could spark Tislomer into getting together with Babrakus.

>>73833
This is what you do:
1. Take a pile of money and set it aside.
2. Get Finesse, Tislomer, and/or Ashedel in on the idea.
3. Find a town nearby.
4. Release the hounds of GIRLS NIGHT OUT.
5. ???
6. PROFIT

>>73833
At the very least, you should ask her opinion on the matter first if she'd have her own choice of partner.

Yes, ask her who she'd like to be boned by. Any special (species-al?) preference.

>>73892
This.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)16:58 No. 73899 ID: 1db014
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>>73842
>I still say bring in some outside help. Why not have an orc on the payroll?
Orcs generally live far to the North. Just FINDING one would be a task in itself, let alone convincing one to join me.

Arabella's already met Babrakus, as well as everyone else on the staff. Except for Ashedel -- who's still out at the moment -- but they already knew each other from back when they both worked under the Commander's employ.

I agree that Nino is a concern, and bringing him in may be wise -- but on reflection, it's true that this may not be the best time, especially concerning delicate negotiations between me and my nearest ally. If he's still working for a potential enemy I'd do better to wait for a time when I'm less vulnerable to contact him.

Babrakus, then, seems like the only real choice here. He is, after all, the only other male in the dungeon.
Of course, there's always the option of going to one of the nearby towns and bringing in a neutral third party if he declines. That's a possibility, I suppose.

I think at this point just asking her what she would like to do would be best.

>>73899
Talk to her, ask her opinion.

>>73899
Did Coriander's note specifically ask for you to do the deed? She may inquire to Arabella to see if you actually did do her or not.

>>73899
Or, you could let your balls drop and do it yourself.

>>73899
She's not just a vagina waiting to be plugged, she's a vagina with feelings. That said, if you DO ask her for who she'd like to be plugged by, don't be surprised if she mentions the great, dashing, handsome stallion that is Muschio! ie you.

maybe you should just MAN UP

Go ask Babrakus about it.

>>73899
Well you can't just send Babrakus at her without knowing if he can handle it. Give him a complete physical. Complete.

>>73899
Talk to her first. It's an extremely delicate subject, I know, but it would be best. Then, we need to make sure Babrakus would be up for this.

Agreed. MAN UP.

Man up and dick the bitch. You might like it.

>>73899
She's an Orc, boss.
Aren't Orcs supposed to be really kinky? And hey, maybe you'll find that she's not as bad as you think when you really get down to it.

Besides, you're savin' her life and keeping relations up with valuable allies.

Go to Babrakus.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)19:23 No. 73996 ID: 1db014
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All right all right, fine, you've made your point! I'll ask our guest first before I go recruiting stand-ins. But you have to tell me how to approach this, you know I'm not very good at talking to people.

>>73996
"Wanna fuck?" On second thought, no. Don't say that.

Well you could start by telling her that you wish to discuss her... condition.

She appears to be getting impatient with your nanning about.

>>73996
Its alright boss, we can handle it. Now, get her attention by saying hello. Then ask her if shes feeling well. Then ask her if she fully understands her situation. Once you have accomplished these three things we can continue.

>>73996
Good Evening Madam, -erh- I trust your stay has been quite comfortable so far?

Forgive me if this sounds... over-inquisitive, but what are your thoughts as to how we should proceed on treating your... 'condition' any particular preferences?

I am quite good at procuring people if you have -erh- particular tastes, of course if you prefer there is always the more 'immediate' option.

Be frank and honest. You want to know how she would like her condition handled?

"I was pondering hooking you up with an intelligent and fairly handsome Kobold, but wanted to make certain you didn't find the idea distasteful."

>>73996
Ask her what kind of guys she likes.

>>73996
"I believe we may be able to set you up with someone to... help with your condition."

>>73996
Be technically honest, but with enough lies to be polite.
Tell her you just don't feel comfortable doing it yourself, because you hardly know her and it's terribly embarrassing and the whole ordeal is just sucking all the romance out of the room.
But you're not willing to let her down, so you're going to discreetly look for someone else to do the deed, and does she have any preferences in personality or body type?

>>73996
Stammer and blush a lot and completely fail at getting any intelligent message across.

Tell her that, while she is indeed a fine sample of Orcishness, that you are worried your ministrations may not prove proper.

You will be seeking the best of the best of the best, only the most professional male whore you can find for her.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)19:44 No. 74017 ID: 1db014
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>>74015
>Stammer and blush a lot and completely fail at getting any intelligent message across.
Thanks, this was my first instinct! But I think I can manage this with the help.

"Excuse me, madam Arabella. I know this may not be a very... comfortable topic of conversation, but I believe I can set you up with someone who will be able to... to help your condition. I know you've met Babrakus, and I believe he--"

>"Oh, I see where this is going. You think, because I'm an orc, I'm gonna fuck a kobold."

"Well no, I mean -- yes, but... er.
Look, it's just... I don't want to let you down, but I don't feel entirely comfortable... doing this myself."

"I'd fuck a kobold!"

Counter her racial defensiveness with MORE racial defensiveness.

"So you're saying kobolds are inferiors?"

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)19:48 No. 74021 ID: 1db014
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>>74019
>I'd fuck a kobold!
NO I WOULDN'T
AND THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR THAT

>>74017
What's that supposed to mean? Have you seen Tislomer? She's a nice piece of kobold ass. And Babrakus ain't to shabby for a dude.

Besides, Arabella needs a man with meat on his bones. She'd crush you like a twig, boss.

Its called a white lie and yes you would! >:(

>>74021
No, no, you say that so she feels better about it. You don't have to want it.

"I mean, I, er... This isn't exactly easy to say. But um... I'm not as strong as I look, and I feel like you're deserving of someone who can keep up with, er, an orc's inherent strength and constitution. What I mean is... look, do you want to come into town and help me hire you a whore?"

>>74021
Get back to the conversation. If she asks about the look, tell her about the Orb thing.
Assure her you are not nutters.

>>74021
So don't make it personal. Just act offended at the thought that she'd consider it beneath her.

Tell her you're just asking what she wants, if not kobold you'd gladly do it, though there may be other options available to her should she wish.

>>74017
Inform the lady that the kobolds in your employ are, in your opinion, quite worthy of respect. If she views them as inferior, that's her own business, and you were simply providing options. You are a leader, and it's natural for a leader to delegate certain responsibilities. It might even be viewed as improper if you attended to this matter personally, after all.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)20:03 No. 74033 ID: 1db014
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"Miss Arabella, Babrakus may be a kobold but he's a very upstanding individual. All I'm trying to say is that... well, I don't feel I'm necessarily the best person for this, and... er, I'm only pointing out that you have... options.
I have enough gold to settle this matter to whatever flavor you'd prefer, so if you'd like we can head into town and I'll more than gladly pay for the finest male... attendant. Anything you wish."

>"Look, Lord Malto... I know I ain't much of a looker. I'm ugly, y'don't think I know that by now? I get that. I do, honest. I know it isn't easy for you to think about doin' something like this with someone like me."

>>74033
That's it. "Cure" her right now, just to prove how wrong she is. Where is your honour, after all?

>>74033
Stare at her with the face you have on right now, as if still waiting for the point.

See? You're coming across as a shallow ass. Now get to tender lovin' that orc or we all start saying NYA~ again!

>>74033
Stand there awkwardly. She doesn't sound done talking.

Man up, Muschi.

Give her some tender loving NYA~

>>74033
Explain that there's someone among your minions who'd be rather upset if you were bonking around here. You'd like to just get the condition settled with as few complications as possible.

How rude, your father would be disappointed in you!

Well, you could always lie and say "It's not that you aren't attractive, it's just i'm in a commited relationship right now."

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)20:11 No. 74043 ID: 1db014
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>"But don'tcha think this is awkward for me, too? It's embarrassin'. If I just wanted t'get did I'da hired a whore back when I was home.
>This isn't about what I like and it ain't about me gettin' my jollies, this is about somethin' I gotta do to stay alive. So it ain't come into it what kinda guys I like and don't like.
>The Commander pointed me me to you because she said you could be respectable about this, that you could handle it polite and on the quiet. If I knew y'were just gonna try an' pass me off to one o'yer hired hands I wouldn'ta come here."

>>74043
Apologize for misunderstanding. Then have sex with her.

>>74043
Take her Muschio... take her gently.

>>74043
Oh man, look at those eyes. How can you resist those eyes? You can't.

>>74043
...Apologize. We have been quite rude to her, and she deserves better.

Then pork the orc.

Bah, I have heard enough of this drama.

You heard the lady, go and get this over with so you can get back to serious evil business.

"In that case."


Begin to disrobe. We are your psyche we demand it.

Looks like we're out of options, Muschio. Make sure you won't be disturbed or heard.

Also hope to dear god Ashedel doesn't come back right in the middle of it.

>>74043
uh... boss... Like it or not, a reputation is the strongest force a king can have. I think it's time we start upholding it. You know what to do Boss.

Say "Well, pardon me if I'm not behaving with sufficient gravitas after you knocked on the door asking to please borrow a cup of sex."

If you're gonna do her you should find an excuse to get the minions out of the dungeon first! I can't think of a good excuse, though...

>>74054
This. Let's give ourselves some enforced private time...

>>74043
Clear your schedule, accept no calls. It's time to be respectable.

>>74055
If we're going to vacate all our minions, nail a note on the front door telling Ashedel to deliver a message to Coriander. The message will be "Sorry for the delay."

>>74057
And for your sake, be the one on top.

We're the ruler of this dungeon! If we want everyone to leave, we can just say it! Everyone, go on a picnic or something.

Send Finesse out to shop for some crafting supplies, and have Babrakus go out and chop down some trees. Have Tislomer look for some medicinal plants in the nearby woods.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)20:27 No. 74063 ID: 1db014
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>>74044
>>74045
>>74046
>>74047
>>74048
>>74049
>>74050
>>74051

>>74063
You realize if you don't, she'll go back to Coriander and tell everyone all about what an ass you are, right?

OK FINE, YOU CAN DRINK YOURSELF UNCONSCIOUS AFTERWARDS JUST FOCUS ON THAT.

>>74063
The diplomacy, man! Think of the diplomacy!

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)20:31 No. 74067 ID: 1db014
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>>74063
"Very well."

>>74063
Muschio, think of it this way: It is better than fapping.

The things that can happen if we are unanimous about something are awesome.

>>74067
Sometimes being a ruler means you have to do certain things that you don't want to do, but rather HAVE to do.

This is one of them. Just make sure not to shout out Ashaedel's name when you deliver the cure.

>>74067
Don't forget to put up the 'Do not Disturb" sign and bolt the door.

>>74067
Offer her some wine.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)20:38 No. 74077 ID: 1db014
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Lights out.
Doors locked.

No more stalling.

>>74077

In b4 you stall.

>>74077
Then stop talking to us and do it.

>>74077
Make sure you get the right hole.

Tell her how beautiful her pupiless eyes looks in the dark

>a reputation is the strongest force a king can have.
Yes. And forever more, we shall be known as MUSCHIO MALTO, ORC FUCKER.

>>74083
You ASSHOLE. What he is doing is a beautiful thing. :(

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)20:43 No. 74087 ID: 1db014
File 125765540071.gif - (1.47KB , 800x600 , 578.gif )

Um.

>>74087
What did you do.

It's a guy isn't it

>>74087
...OH COME ON.

*sigh* fine, spill it, what do you need our help with.

>>74087
Lets hear it.

>>74089

Can't be we saw her nude when we broke her free back at the tower.

>>74087
Think of Ashedel.

>>74087

Boss, if we're distracting you just ditch us until this is over.

>>74094
Wait a second, if he's... can he even hear us?

Knife to your throat? What??

>>74087
I had assumed you'd be familiar with vaginas...

Don't leave us hanging, Boss.

Maybe we should shut up... or practice our singing. 99 cases of Nymph's Jynx in bed, 99 cases of Nymph's Jynx. You pick one out, fuck it right up, 98 cases of Nymph's Jynx in bed.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)20:55 No. 74100 ID: 1db014
File 125765610858.gif - (6.30KB , 800x600 , 579.gif )

...there may be a slight problem.

This doesn't usually happen.

>"It's me, isn't it?"

>>74100
...Think of Baseball.

>>74100
Think of the time you killed that guy. Or when you got that spear through your leg.

Wait, you do get off to that sort of thing, right?

*sigh* Do you have any viagra?

Theta][Sigma 2009/11/07(Sat)20:56 No. 74104 ID: f21281
File 125765618611.jpg - (32.72KB , 300x303 , SiskoNotThisAgain.jpg )

>>74100

>>74100
No, it's us... 96 cases oh nymph's jynx in bed...

Tell her that something else may be going on, she shouldn't affect it.

>>74100

If it helps, think of this as another in your soon-to-be long line of conquests

>>74100
>>74101
Baseball? Think of Finesse!

>>74100
Come ON, Muschio.

Don't you have a potion or something to fix that kind of problem?

Pretend. Act more enthusiastic than you feel. Get her to get into it too. Suck on her nipples, maybe get a little head.

>>74100
Your joking right? But she's so soft round and oh so inviting...

She's gonna die if you dont hit that.

err i mean uh.

Think of someone Muschio! like uh...Finnie or ashadiel.

... or babrakus.

>>74112
Think of how sexy YOU YOURSELF are.

>>74110

Dude she's fat she might bite it off

Just use your nose.

>>74115
Follow your nose, toucan sam.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)21:05 No. 74117 ID: 1db014
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"No, it's just... it must be something with the Jinx."
>"Here, I'll... give me a minute, I don't expect you to be, y'know, right off the bat.
"Well, of course, so... I just need--"
>"Maybe it'll help if I just..."
"What ar- ah!"
>"Does that feel good?"
"Uh, not... really..."
>"Sorry. It's dark, I just... here, I'll-"
"Careful! You're twisting my ankle!"
>"I'm only trying to get you-"
"I know, I know, and -- oh, wait, keep doing that, maybe I-"
>"Ow! You poked my eye!"

OH GOD THIS IS NOT GOING WELL

>>74100
We... might actually need some help.
Is there anyone who might be interested in a threesome?
Maybe we should get drunk first?

>>74117
...Turn the lights back on god dammit.

>>74117
TURN THE DAMN LIGHT ON. That will solve 99% of your accuracy problems right there.

FACE-TO-PUSSY

YOU KNOW IT IS THE ANSWER TO YOUR PRAYERS

>>74118
Finesse.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)21:07 No. 74123 ID: 7eda8b
File 125765682589.png - (33.69KB , 500x500 , Ashe~.png )

Just close your eyes and think of someone more attractive.

Finesse. Think of Finesse.

Just be honest with yourself for once, boss - we're more aware than you think.

>>74117
Wait... herbs.. we have a master herbalist in the house!

Don't plan on walking for the next few hours though.

Turn the damn lights on Muschio. You are both obviously incapable of finding erogenous zones in the dark.

Rowan 2009/11/07(Sat)21:09 No. 74129 ID: c1b520
Audio Kiss_the_Girl.mp3 - (1.87MB , Kiss the Girl.mp3 )

You know what you need? You need some atmosphere...

Here, it's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

>>74123

Nedyvnor chicks don't have index claws...

That lady's a man, man.

Just pretend you are wrestling a bear in the woods.

>>74125
I like this idea.

Call the herbalist to get something to help you.

...put on pants first.

>>74117

Let your eyes adjust to the darkness.

You need to swordfight her to get in the mood. Call in Babrakus with wooden swords.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)21:25 No. 74138 ID: 1db014
File 125765794836.gif - (1.39KB , 800x600 , 581.gif )

"Okay, okay, it's no problem. We're just off to a rough start, that's all.
I tell you what. I'm going to just step out for a minute, get some fresh air, clear my head, get in the mood, and I'll be right back in just a few minutes.
Sit tight. I won't be too long. This is going to work out fine, don't you worry."

>>74138
You know she's going to sneak off, dejected, right?

>>74138
Run off to Tislomer for a blowjob something to help you get erect.

Muschio 2009/11/07(Sat)21:29 No. 74141 ID: 1db014
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I have no idea how this is going to work out.

>>74139
No she won't!
>>74138
Tell her we'll be back with more rod she can handle.

>>74141
Herbs man... that's how old rich people do it.

Yes, Tislomer is definitely the one to find.

>>74141
Go ask Tislomer for something to help you get it up...

A potion, of course!

Dildo + Sleight of Hand

See if you can't set up some mood lighting. Still dark but not pitch fucking black.

Mood lighting always helps.

>>74147
I think we need to actually use our own equipment for the cure to work.

>>74141

Ask Finesse without actually revealing anything.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)21:32 No. 74151 ID: 0d09cb
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>>74141
What's the equivalent of this gentleman in your world?

>>74141
HERBS.

>>74148
Also this... a lone candle or something really helps put a warm, soft edge on everything.

>>74153
I'm not sure candles are quite so romantic in a setting without electric light. How about a vase full of glowing mushrooms?

Do it the proletarian way and drink until your heart stops, then try, try again.

Maybe you should try doing some 'weird' stuff, Muschio. Roleplay, bondage, pain, dressing up, that sort of thing?

>>74187
He doesn't seem the type, honestly.

We might be going at this the wrong way.
She's obviously ready.
What gets YOUR motor running?

>>74165
If there's anything we can learn from the lesser class, it's how to temporarily, quickly, and drastically reduce one's standards. Some liquor ought to be the social oil you need.

Haven't you got a frigging alchemist in there? Make an aphrodisiac.

>>74193
Booze, I agree with this.

Booze for everyone. You, because you don't want to pork an ugly ork. The ork, because you're no looker yourself (Seriously your face looks like a beak goddamn man.). Booze for the kobolds and goblins, in case they see or hear anything.

Woah, copycats.

Maybe you should offer her a drink too, it's not like she won't be able to smell it on you the minute you enter her event horizon.

Let's Drink! Drink! This town is so great. Drink! Drink 'coz it's never too late, to Drink! Drink! To no big surprise, but what words rhyme with buried alive?

One word: Butter. And lots of it!

Not just booze, candles, a fine dinner. What is missing is romantic ambiance. If we just get shit-faced druk we might end up with whiskey dick and tomorrow we will be worse off than when we started.

So what if she doesn't have a pretty face? She has big tits, and you can't touch a pretty face in the dark!

We're going about this all wrong.
Leave the lights out, and send one of the kobolds in your place.

>>74232
That's just rude!

If you have any kinks, maybe she'd enjoy some of those? You could always ask, not like you'll get any worse off!

We are all just cutting right to the chase.

Muschio hardly even knows her. It's about on the same level as fucking a random uggo on the street.

Here's a theory to test if you can't get it back up easily. Go back into her room. Firstly, apologize for the earlier attempt. Reassure her that you personally will fulfill the task. Only, instead of trying to bed her then and there, you will try to get to know her better. Have a talk. What does she do for the Commander? What's her opinion of her? Does Arabella have any hobbies?

If you get to know her a bit, perhaps the physical appearance won't be as off-putting. Besides. It'd have a bit more class that 'Your boss told me to bone you. Time to knock boots.'

>>74250

When has it mattered before that he knew them well? Don't be silly.

>>74250
This is a sound and classy idea. As a matter of fact, we should give her a taste of something she probably never experianced: Romance. We can, I dunno, bring her some exotic foods and... uh, damn, not much you can do with a bedridden woman.

But Muschio, listen: It is a good idea to get to know her better.

>>74252
Before, he wasn't trying to bone someone that he wasn't physically attracted to.

There are only two real ways to deal with this due to the way Muschio feels, and how he operates to a point. The first would be a lot of foreplay in the light, and then having sex and keeping in motion so he doesn't go flaccid.

The other alternative, as most people do who have sex with things they don't want to, with or without imagination:

Realize you are having sex for power. Embrace that, and take control of the bedroom, and take her so her, and everyone she goes back to will probably hear about the devil inside of Muschio.

A gentleman, and a devil, even in the bedroom.

Wait... A little while ago you said everybody has a shard of this orb beneath their skin. does that mean they can hear this conversation, or do we get selective control over who we "talk" to?

>>74149
Who said the dildo was for her?

I don't know why you're complaining. You're a scraggly bird-faced freak with stupid hair.

What is it exactly that cures it? Do you really need to use your dick?

Come on it's a wet hole, stick it in. Don't be a woman.

I haven't seen her under that robe. Perhaps she is a babe.

>>74336
>I haven't seen her under that robe.
You know there's already been made a nude pin-up of her right? I think that'd give you a pretty accurate indication.

get some happy pills and a blindfold

>>74310
Good point. Use your nose. I'm sure its larger.

>>74422
Well i was thinking a finger... she could do that herself though.

If there's no other option maybe you could get Finesse to "help" you. Just make sure to explain the whole thing.

Frankly i think she should've gone for an orc whore and be done with it.

Just man up, fuck her, and never speak of it again.

You can communicate to the others through the orb shards right? Have over the orb sex with Ashedel to get yourself in the mood.

>>74487
He can't do it directly. He can communicate to us, and we can relay that message to a person with an orbshard.

>>74269
I support this choice.

Get some Nanroot from Tislomer, ask Finesse for a dildo for yourself, cut yourself to get your blood flowing, pretend Arabella is Ashedel, and get Babrakus to root you on while you try.

Get no aid. Do it yourself. No one must know.

>>74141

Threesome.

Muschio 2009/11/08(Sun)19:10 No. 74650 ID: 1db014
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All right already, I get the message!
It's not that I don't WANT to help Arabella, or Coriander. And I suppose, subconsciously, I may have some physical attraction to her after all, despite her racial handicap. She isn't completely unbecoming, at the least. Perhaps the problem is the clinical responsibility of this act, rather than the physical arousal connected to it. Knowing that this is a task, an obligation, perhaps that takes away from it a bit.
But whatever concerns and reservations I have about it must be set aside, for a woman's life is in danger here.

I'm sure Tislomer will be able to help me out with my problem, however temporary and excusable that problem may be.
Of course, this may be a very delicate situation. After all, my alchemist is still under the impression I have lustful urges towards her. So presenting her with such a request might seem... unseemly. I don't know if she would trust my motives. Trust is a bad thing to lose.

So perhaps I should consult the one person I trust more than any other.

Muschio 2009/11/08(Sun)19:11 No. 74654 ID: 1db014
File 125773627061.gif - (8.93KB , 800x600 , 584.gif )

...but of course, I'll need your help, as always.

"Finesse, may I speak with you a moment?"

>>74650
Finesse? Good plan, she'll be able to help, or at the very least come along with you to make things look less suspicious.

>>74654
Need to tell you something, boss. Finesse wants to jump your snout too, if you know what I mean.

"Use your big hand on my dick and your little hand on my balls for a minute."

>>74654
MAYDAY BOSS. MAYDAY!

You know Finesse will be heartbroken if she finds out about this, right?

>>74650
Boss, she wants you too, why do you think she showed up with a open shirt one day?

Tell her that Coriander tasked you with curing your guest of nymph's jinx, but it's too impersonal for you to apply yourself properly.

>>74654
You could always get Babrakus to get some "herbs" from Tislomer.

Wait, why not just ask the alchemist for a little pick me up potion?

>>74654
Goddammit, Muschio. Just... goddammit.

I'd prefer it if you just backed out now and found another solution, but I understand that half of the other bastards in this orb are planning otherwise.

...just make sure she understands that you're only doing this as a favor, and that you're sure as hell not going to enjoy it.

Easy modo: Show her the letter after making her swear to keep quiet about it.

Muschio 2009/11/08(Sun)19:23 No. 74674 ID: 1db014
File 125773703275.gif - (8.69KB , 800x600 , 585.gif )

>>74655
>Finesse? Good plan, she'll be able to help, or at the very least come along with you to make things look less suspicious.
I was thinking Finesse could just ask Tislomer by herself, since she doesn't seem the type to be easily embarrassed and I doubt the alchemist would suspect her of trying to seduce her if she asked for herbal aphrodisiacs.
But it might be more responsible if I went with her, now that you mention it.
I'd still rather Tislomer not find out about its purpose, though.

>"Sure, Master. What do you need?"
Well, this is it. How exactly should I approach this?

show her the letterrrr!

Open up by asking what she knows about nymph's jinx, maybe she'll even know of an alternative if you start by just asking about the hex.

>>74674
Tell her why (perhaps if you have the letter handy?)... and explain the 'trouble' you're having.

>>74677
This. We should establish whether she's familiar with the condition so we know how to approach the situation.

>>74674
Aw geez she's drawing pictures of you naked again, boss.
You're just gonna have to lay it out straight and swear her to secrecy. It's a delicate matter an' all.

And for the love of god don't feel awkward, knowing that Finesse wants to jump your bones.

Man up. You can trust her, remember? Explain the situation to her. Show her the note if you need to. Ask her opinion as a trusted minion

>>74674
"I will be blunt. Our current guest has an affliction that requires the *ahem* reagents, if you will, of a male in order to cure it. However the regular channels of procuring this cure are not adequate enough. As you may or may not know, Tislomer already things that I want to engage in romantical relations with her, so it would be rather awkward indeed to ask her for an herbal pick-me-up to assist in...er...'that' area. So...could you go ask her for me?"

Be absolutely blunt and professional. Say "I need an aphrodisiac from Tislomer to cure a terminal disease, Nymph's Jynx, from an important ally. I'd rather not get into specifics and make everyone uncomfortable and, instead of complicating Tislomer's strange feelings for all males in the vicinity, that you are no doubt aware of, I need you to ask her for me. I trust you completely, this is why I'm coming to you instead of Barbacurus or Ashedel."

There we go, threw in a compliment in there for her. Should warm her up to the idea and everything.

>>74674
oh shit.. back off back off...

Finesse 'wants' you!

She's doodling you in her notebook. This is bad situation, you don't have ability to talk your way out of this.

Muschio 2009/11/08(Sun)19:33 No. 74696 ID: 1db014
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>>74676
>>74679
I don't have the letter on-hand!
>>74682
>You're just gonna have to lay it out straight and swear her to secrecy. It's a delicate matter an' all.
Fair enough.
>don't feel awkward
TOO LATE.

"Um. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
>"No, Master. I was just updating my journal."

>>74696
Ask her if she's ever heard of Nymph's Jinx.

>>74696
Yeah, this is going to get real awkward, real fast. You know how awkward it feels already? That's nothing. Prepare yourself.

>>74690
Seconding this.

Once again, though, emphasize that you're simply doing this as a favor, and nothing more.

...though, why don't we just get Babrakus to go ask for the aphrodisiac? He's not going to give a shit, and Tislomer sure as hell won't mind.

>>74697
> Ask her if she's ever heard of Nymph's Jinx.
This! We'll lead her to the conclusion as gently as possible, so that it doesn't seem like we're just trying to sack an orc.
"So it turns out Arabella has it, and Captain Coriander sent her here to help get it cured, because it's not something they can cure.
And I just... I can't do this, and I need help."

In short, first request she keep everything secret, then ask her if she knows any cure for Nymph's Jinx besides "the usual". If she doesn't, explain the whole thing. Make sure to say you don't find the patient the least bit arousing.

Hey, did we ever find out what the fuck's up with her big arm? If not, we should ask through her orbshard.

Did you check if nymph's jynx is contagious at any point as it runs its course?

Muschio 2009/11/08(Sun)19:59 No. 74734 ID: 1db014
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"Finesse, you should know I'm coming to you because you are my most trusted assistant. Have you ever heard of a disease called Nymph's Jinx?"
>"...yes..."
"Well, it seems that Arabella has it. That's why she came here. I'm going to cure her."

"Or... well... I'm trying. I require your assistance in that regard, actually."

Well that was blunt. Tell her that things just aren't romantic enough for you to... perform.

Oh god don't tell me she has it too and that's just surprise of malevolent foreboding.

>>74734
"However, there's a problem... I'm not attracted to her."

>>74734
Boss? You MAY want to work on subtlety. It's a good quality in an evil overlord.

Muschio 2009/11/08(Sun)20:02 No. 74741 ID: 1db014
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"It's too sensitive a subject to entrust it to Babrakus, you see. I have to be the one to... administer the cure."
>"...of course."
"It's for the sake of our continued alliance with Arabella's master, the Commander. I'm sure you understand. I'm going to have to do this."
>"...of course."

>>74734
Awww man, boss! I just heard something shatter...

See if she wants to do a threesome.

>>74741
Oh shiii-.

SHE'S HULKING OUT MAN.

>>74734
You actually said it like THAT, boss? You... GAH.

Good job, Blunty McTactless. Just break Finesse's little heart why don't you?

... anyway, just make it clear that this is to maintain the alliance, and has nothing to do with personal feelings you have for her. A professional matter, if you will.

Hey, boss, she's pretty pissed. Finesse probably wasn't a good idea [she likes you]. Should have talked to the carpenter whose name I cannot remember for the life of me.

>>74741
The next thing you should say here is "I need your help."

>>74741
The only problem is that I REALLY dont want to do this.

>>74741
Hey boss? You may wanna get some armor for 'little Muschio', if you catch my drift.

Muschio 2009/11/08(Sun)20:06 No. 74759 ID: 1db014
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>>74749
>>74753
"But you see, that's why I've come to you. I need your help."
>"...ah?"
"I've tried to... do the deed with our esteemed guest, but... well, it wasn't that easy. You see, I just don't feel particularly attracted to her. I know it's my obligation to cure her, but my heart's just not in it. It's strictly business, and it's not exactly an enticing prospect to me."
>"I... I see."

>>74759
Tell her you need artificial help, and that it would be awkward to ask Tislomer yourself.

>>74759
And this is how porno is written.

Why are people suggesting Dildos and other such items? They would probably be little use on the Jinxed, the jinx being magical and all, it would likely not be fooled by such things.

Muschio 2009/11/08(Sun)20:10 No. 74767 ID: 1db014
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"It's... not exactly an easy thing for me to say, and I hope you'll forgive me for being direct, but in fact, this situation is proving SO difficult for me, I'm not physically able to provide the treatment required."
>"Oh. I see."
"Yes. So you see, I don't believe I'll be able to see to our guest without the aid of aphrodisiacs. I came to you because I know you can be trusted with this information. In short, what I need is supplemental assistance, but I didn't want to ask Tislomer directly because she believes I have feelings for her. Obviously, I'm as interested in her as I am in Arabella: not at all. But since I know you can be tactful about this I was hoping you would be able to procure some supplements from her, for me."

>"...Of course, Master."

Crisis averted. Do a little dance.

"And its just... well... all this has made me realize...

I love you Finesse! Lets totally make out!"

>>74767
I am not liking that smile. Be afraid.

You should add "Unless you have a better idea".

[to finesse] Get extra, sneak it into Muschio's food when there's no one else around.

>>74767
She's up to something, boss...

>>74775
This. A thousand times this.

I'm sure he won't mind.

>>74775
Hey, guys in Finesse's Orbshard, relay that message to her.