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File 125719650890.jpg - (29.99KB , 549x536 , newtitle.jpg )
71660 No. 71660 ID: 7ce0ea

Expand all images
>>
No. 71662 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719671924.jpg - (49.03KB , 820x800 , foot.jpg )
71662

[Intro]
Suddenly, the Deus Ex Machina in the form of a Monty Python reference.
>>
No. 71663 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719678048.jpg - (27.13KB , 620x600 , intro1.jpg )
71663

[Intro]
"Huh, I wonder where people go when they die in Hell..."
>>
No. 71665 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719690910.jpg - (39.93KB , 620x600 , laika1.jpg )
71665

[End Intro]
"Oh, I don't know, maybe Nangilima.
Say, I live just by and... heh, could I get you a cup of coffee or something?"
>>
No. 71667 ID: cf407a

>>71665
Politely accept her offer for a cup of coffee.
>>
No. 71668 ID: f8dcc1

>>71667
You mean hir.

Remember there's a bulge, people.

Politely decline. You have to go... uh... wash your hair.
>>
No. 71670 ID: f4963f

>Oliver's Inferno returns
<3 <3

Ahem. Accept said coffee. No need to be rude.
>>
No. 71671 ID: e23f0f

Yes, I'd love some... hot coffee.
>>
No. 71672 ID: 632862

Oliver doesn't even have a butthole. He's completely smooth. What are we so worried about? Accept the coffee.
>>
No. 71674 ID: 43d730

>>71672
It'd have to be oral.
Eh, couldn't hurt.
>>
No. 71675 ID: 426169

Some hot coffee sounds good. Accept with a wink.
>>
No. 71676 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719793816.jpg - (32.06KB , 620x600 , laikahouse.jpg )
71676

"Here we are!
You like the place?"
>>
No. 71677 ID: 426169

"I love it."
>>
No. 71678 ID: e23f0f

it's jawsome.
>>
No. 71679 ID: f4963f

>>71676
Two stories? And they're both above ground?!

This place is so much better than our mother's basement.
>>
No. 71680 ID: f8dcc1

>>71676
Poke the facade to reveal the shithole behind it.
>>
No. 71682 ID: 632862

Why does it have no straight lines?
>>
No. 71683 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719836262.jpg - (23.44KB , 620x600 , oshit.jpg )
71683

>>71680
"Wait a minute... this is a cardboard cut out! And why is there a hole in he-"

Laika kicks you into the hole.
You hear something along the following lines as you fall:
"He's all yours now, my part of the deal is done!"
>>
No. 71684 ID: cf407a

>>71683
FFFFFFFFFFFF.....that that bitch!
>>
No. 71685 ID: f8dcc1

>>71683
I KNEW IT WAS A FACADE! GODDAMMIT I KNEW IT!

I EVEN SAID THERE WAS A HOLE BEHIND IT!
>>
No. 71686 ID: f8dcc1

>>71683
Scream that this is not, in fact, sparta.
>>
No. 71687 ID: f4963f

>>71683
Grab the edge! Swear revenge. >:(
>>
No. 71688 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719907855.jpg - (26.99KB , 620x600 , script.jpg )
71688

So many immortal lines! Which one to pick?
>>
No. 71689 ID: f8dcc1

"You know, somewhere in my murry purry guts, I knew I'd end up falling for Laika."
>>
No. 71693 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719944649.jpg - (50.46KB , 620x600 , bottom.jpg )
71693

>>71689
Yes, that's it!
Gravity applauds to you with a mighty clap. You have reached the bottom.
>>
No. 71695 ID: f8dcc1

>>71693
Lucky you don't have a bigger tail to break.

Get up and survey your surroundings. Are there two vases on pedestals and a big blue Police Box nearby, with the giant glowing figure of Satan staring down at you?
>>
No. 71701 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720026325.jpg - (43.25KB , 620x600 , dark.jpg )
71701

It's dark and cold in here. You can't really see anything but the red glow somewhere up there. You can feel a breeze however and there was a loud echo, so you think the place might be more than just a pit.

Gee, you kinda wish you hadn't died and gone to hell. You could be happily munching your baconweave in your mum's basement, sparking up drama on the Internets...
>>
No. 71704 ID: 632862

>>71701
Wallow in self-pity.

Also, wander around.
>>
No. 71707 ID: f4963f

>>71701
This would be a good time to see if your dursona's nose catches scents any better than your human one. Can you smell or hear anything unusual?
>>
No. 71710 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720127268.jpg - (29.16KB , 620x600 , oliver.jpg )
71710

You can smell a musky rodent smell and... candle wax.
>>
No. 71712 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720186011.jpg - (42.59KB , 620x600 , candles.jpg )
71712

Suddenly... candles!
Also, there seems to be a bunch of pictures of you. Hey, someone has ripped the eyes out!
>>
No. 71714 ID: f4963f

>>71712
A... gah... gah...

FFFFFFF
Wait, wait. Did you know any rat fursons in your previous life?
>>
No. 71716 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720252893.jpg - (13.88KB , 620x600 , oliver1.jpg )
71716

>>71714
A few... But none had eye-gauging fetish as far as you know.
>>
No. 71717 ID: 8e18cd

>>71716

Rat-fursona boyfriend?
>>
No. 71720 ID: f4963f

>>71716
Well, creepy stalker-shrines are generally bad news. Now that the candles are lit, see if a way out is visible.
>>
No. 71722 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720292396.jpg - (30.24KB , 620x600 , squeak.jpg )
71722

Hey, a squeaky sound! Something's coming! Maybe it can help you out of here!
>>
No. 71724 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720306099.jpg - (10.87KB , 620x600 , buttercup1.jpg )
71724

Why...

It's Buttercup! Your first pet... who died of a tragic but UNEXPLAINED vaginal rupture...
>>
No. 71726 ID: 9891a9

>>71724
HUGS!
>>
No. 71727 ID: f4963f

>>71724
Oh man. You are so fucked.

Get the hell out of there, right now.
>>
No. 71728 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720322215.gif - (143.37KB , 620x600 , buttercupanimated.gif )
71728

[Animated]

Oh shi-

Oliver's Inferno is to be continued.
>>
No. 71729 ID: 9c73f3

oooh dis is baad
>>
No. 71734 ID: e23f0f

Oh perfect. This way she won't die so quickly.
>>
No. 71749 ID: af3e6d

>>71728
Well, think of it this way. You're already dead and in hell. How much worse can it get?
>>
No. 71753 ID: 9c73f3

>>71749
Looks like we're about to find out!
>>
No. 72041 ID: ee2dfc
File 125726643645.jpg - (50.85KB , 620x600 , buttercup.jpg )
72041

>>
No. 72045 ID: 165119

>>72041
Quick! Sing him (her?) the song of your people!
>>
No. 72046 ID: ee2dfc
File 125726803295.jpg - (41.59KB , 620x600 , chomp.jpg )
72046

>>72045
"Uh..uh.. O! say can you see by the dawn's early light...
Not working!

Um... Somewhere over the rainbo-
ARRGHHHH! FUUUUCK!"
>>
No. 72047 ID: 9c73f3

>>72046
This is not murry, not at all!
>>
No. 72048 ID: ee2dfc
File 125726889425.jpg - (39.09KB , 620x600 , omnom.jpg )
72048

"AAARGHGFFFFAAAAACKKHHH!"
>>
No. 72050 ID: 165119

>>72048
This is someone's sexual fetish, I'm certain.
>>
No. 72052 ID: 7d87d9

This is what happens when you trust COMMUNISTS.
>>
No. 72054 ID: 7eda8b

Try praying. You have nothing to lose.
>>
No. 72056 ID: 2cbe3e

>>72054

Except your torso I guess.
>>
No. 72059 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727167645.jpg - (60.87KB , 557x591 , dearsir.jpg )
72059

>>
No. 72062 ID: ee2dfc
File 12572718001.jpg - (19.17KB , 620x600 , deusexmachina.jpg )
72062

Suddenly, a rope appears in front of your face.
You hear someone shouting: "Grab the rope!"
>>
No. 72064 ID: 165119

>>72062
Munch on the delicious rope.
>>
No. 72065 ID: 7d87d9

>>72059
HAHAHHAHAHA!
>>
No. 72067 ID: f4963f

>>72059
I love you.

Anyway, grab that rope, Oliver. You don't wanna figure out where people go when they die in Hell.
>>
No. 72069 ID: 7d87d9

>>72067
You run into Flynn Taggart. It usually doesn't end well...
>>
No. 72070 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727314556.jpg - (33.86KB , 620x600 , upwego.jpg )
72070

Mmm, liquorice.

Leaving the wildly snapping Buttercup behind, you slowly ascend, bleeding like a Tarantino movie.
>>
No. 72074 ID: 9c73f3

in b4 something worse
>>
No. 72076 ID: 165119

>>72070
Bleed in a more manly fashion.
>>
No. 72082 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727388272.jpg - (26.69KB , 620x600 , manly.jpg )
72082

A manly furry? Sounds like an oxymoron, but at least you try.
>>
No. 72083 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727408957.jpg - (17.69KB , 620x600 , hand.jpg )
72083

Speaking of manly, you see an oddly familiar hand.
"Take my hand", a voice rasps.
>>
No. 72084 ID: 165119

>>72083
Get ye oddly familiar hand.
>>
No. 72085 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727447492.jpg - (28.77KB , 620x600 , man.jpg )
72085

>>
No. 72086 ID: f4963f

>>72085
Dawww. Is he the badgertaur?
>>
No. 72091 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727499496.jpg - (21.01KB , 620x600 , bt.jpg )
72091

>>72086
"Y-you remember me?
I'd cry out of joy, but my tear ducts were removed."
>>
No. 72093 ID: f4963f

>>72091
Thank Badger (or would BT be better?) for helping us out of that... situation.

Then check on status of self and current location.
>>
No. 72094 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727531951.jpg - (16.98KB , 620x600 , bt2.jpg )
72094

"I-I've been following you around... s-see I-I'm kind of... a fan.
I know the area pretty well and... ahum, I was thinking... maybe I can h-help you or something?"
>>
No. 72095 ID: f4963f

>>72094
Alright, sure. We'd love to do that.

Ask him if he knows of any way out of hell. Lament the fact that neither of you is a bat for a very obvious pun opportunity.
>>
No. 72096 ID: 12f282

>>72094
Pose as a team, cuz shit just got real
>>
No. 72097 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727597247.jpg - (33.43KB , 620x600 , epic.jpg )
72097

>>72096

>>72093
The pit is the same you were kicked into earlier. Laika's fake house has disappeared. The surrounding area seems to be designed by the same guy who decorated Mordor.
>>72095
The Purgatory serves as a crossing point to Heaven, but it's heavily guarded. There is no way to Earth, unless someone on Earth happens to open the Gates of Hell.
>>
No. 72103 ID: 165119

>>72097
What sort of help does he need anyway?
>>
No. 72105 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727691170.jpg - (18.52KB , 620x600 , legs.jpg )
72105

>>72103
Legs would be nice.
>>
No. 72106 ID: 165119

>>72105
Fuck legs. Are there any tank treads laying around?
>>
No. 72107 ID: 7eda8b

Ask him if there's any way to reverse injuries here. (Though from the looks of the guy, the answer is no)
>>
No. 72111 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727747849.jpg - (14.24KB , 620x600 , bt3.jpg )
72111

>>72107
"I'm not sure... but I think if you manage to find the original parts, they kind of... reattatch.

Then there's all kinds of implants and stuff."

>>72106
Nope.
>>
No. 72113 ID: 165119

>>72111
What about a hovercraft? Mechanical stilts? Giant centipedes? Anything at all except for rocks and more rocks?

Guess we'll settle on being the badger's hat for now. Make sure it's a snuggly fit.
>>
No. 72116 ID: 9d41ab

He will have to piggyback us.
>>
No. 72118 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727835228.jpg - (28.70KB , 620x600 , hat.jpg )
72118

"I must say... you are the comfiest hat I ever wore!"
>>
No. 72120 ID: f4963f

>>72118
Okay. So our new objective is to either find replacement limbs, or get our limbs back from Buttercup.

... the latter sounds a bit dangerous. Ask Badger if he knows where we can get mechanical parts for robo-legs or somesuch.
>>
No. 72121 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727871454.jpg - (24.10KB , 620x600 , bt4.jpg )
72121

"New Babel City and Dis are the nearest towns."
>>
No. 72122 ID: 9d41ab

Ask him if he knows anybody who might be able to kill or restrain our vengeful hamster so that we might retrieve our murrfect legs.
>>
No. 72123 ID: f4963f

>>72121
Oh geez, I need to brush up on my literary references ... ask Badger which location he'd rather go to.
>>
No. 72125 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727916961.jpg - (21.01KB , 620x600 , bt5.jpg )
72125

"I don't really know anyone... people tend to avoid me."

Badgertaur the badgertaur sighs.

"But I do know that New Babel City has a lot of cultural types around... whereas Dis got a new Keeper some years ago and is experiencing a commercial boom. The former is nearer, so we could check it out first. You are a bit heavy."
>>
No. 72127 ID: f4963f

>>72125
Hey, it's ALL MUSCLE.

Yeah, let's go to Babel first.
>>
No. 72132 ID: ee2dfc
File 125728041433.jpg - (18.35KB , 620x600 , offtobabel.jpg )
72132

Oliver's Inferno is TBC.
>>
No. 72133 ID: 7eda8b

>>72111
Say "So I guess I'll have hamster poo legs in a few days..."
>>
No. 72354 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735432836.jpg - (284.91KB , 1126x1058 , nearingbabel.jpg )
72354

Gradually the fire and brimstone scene changes. You must be getting closer to New Babel City.
>>
No. 72357 ID: a21815

>>72354
Hell sure is beautiful tonight. Discuss the finer points of the night sky with your new companion.
>>
No. 72359 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735510665.jpg - (298.36KB , 1126x1058 , stepladder.jpg )
72359

"Looks squiggly."
"Could really use more lense flare."
"He'll never get any +favs."

Oh, and there's a step ladder.
"I wonder what it represents?" Badgertaur muses.
>>
No. 72360 ID: cf407a

>>72359
It represents a step ladder climb it, and use furry muscle arms to hold on tight.
>>
No. 72362 ID: 9d41ab

Climb the steplater. Also, you need to +watch the night sky artist. It doesn't matter if it looks like the sky, that's his style. You should know.
>>
No. 72363 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735716529.jpg - (35.84KB , 620x600 , climban.jpg )
72363

With great effort you scale the step ladder that would make even the most hardened safety inspector cry.
>>
No. 72364 ID: ee2dfc
File 12573576429.jpg - (38.49KB , 620x600 , vincent.jpg )
72364

"How am I supposed to paint sunflowers in Hell when someone's rocking my step ladder?"
>>
No. 72365 ID: f21281

>>72364
Photoshop.
>>
No. 72366 ID: a21815

>>72364
"Hey dude, how's that ear of yours? Still horribly misshapen? Anyways, is this the way to Babel?"
>>
No. 72368 ID: 43d730

>>72364
Why are you painting sunflowers, anyway?
I can't imagine there are any in hell that don't have fangs or something...
>>
No. 72369 ID: 9d41ab

I'm telling you, +watch this guy.
>>
No. 72370 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735863715.jpg - (30.41KB , 620x600 , vince.jpg )
72370

"The council of New Babel commissioned something to cover up the old sooty landscape and... is that MY hat you are wearing?"
>>
No. 72371 ID: f4963f

>>72370
Well, it looks nice. I think it's an improvement. Do you have a DA? I'd totally +watch you. :3
>>
No. 72373 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735945990.jpg - (22.81KB , 620x600 , vince2.jpg )
72373

"I know who you are! You are the green fairy! Give me my hat back!"
>>
No. 72374 ID: a21815

>>72373
Well alright. Fine. Let him try you on for size. He'll probably give you up once he realizes how heavy you are.
>>
No. 72375 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735979439.jpg - (43.46KB , 390x574 , vgogh.jpg )
72375

"United once again!"

You kind of miss the smoothness of Badgertaur's scalp.
>>
No. 72378 ID: 632862

>>72375
Okay, now do some serious art critique.
>>
No. 72381 ID: 1c907d

Die for Van Gogh's hat. It cannot end any better than with a happy Van Gogh. A beautiful end with red paint that changes color over time.
>>
No. 72382 ID: a21815

>>72375
That's fucking beautiful man. Aks Vin if needs any help with that painting. Start flailing around with color without waiting for an answer.
>>
No. 72386 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736076586.jpg - (44.36KB , 390x574 , vgogh2.jpg )
72386

>>72378
"Needs more murry. Try some gradients next!"

>>72381
But you already died once today... ish (it's hard to tell the time in Hell).
>>
No. 72387 ID: 43d730

>>72386
Kibitz until he gets mad at you.
>>
No. 72389 ID: 1c907d

>>72384
Awright, but I expect a better end than Van Gogh later on.

Suggest unnecessary filters.
>>
No. 72392 ID: 9d41ab

He needs to use more dodge/burn and lens flares. Maybe that saran wrap filter. That makes things look sweet.
>>
No. 72393 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736175911.jpg - (59.93KB , 427x548 , murr.jpg )
72393

"Damnit, Hat! This isn't at all what I had in mind!"
>>
No. 72395 ID: a21815

>>72393
There are just too many clothes around, this'll never do!
>>
No. 72397 ID: f4963f

>>72393
Needs more naked. Also more dick.
>>
No. 72399 ID: 9d41ab

This is ridiculous. You are a ridiculous hat.
>>
No. 72402 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736230115.jpg - (45.82KB , 390x574 , vgogh3.jpg )
72402

"Don't forget the knot."
>>
No. 72405 ID: 9d41ab

Lament the loss of your own knot.
>>
No. 72411 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736279651.jpg - (47.40KB , 390x574 , vgogh4.jpg )
72411

>>72405
>>
No. 72414 ID: a21815

>>72411
Cancel your weeping session for now. There are green things flying around.
>>
No. 72416 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736330645.jpg - (45.25KB , 390x574 , vgogh5.jpg )
72416

>>72414
But it's so beautiful!
"Now put knots on the nipples!"
>>
No. 72418 ID: f21281

Van Gough, you're turning into The Hulk. Stop it.
>>
No. 72421 ID: 7eda8b

Stop infuriating everyone you meet.
>>
No. 72425 ID: a21815

>>72421
Dude. He's a furry.
>>
No. 72426 ID: 7eda8b

>>72425
SILENCE.

OBEY.
>>
No. 72429 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736409371.jpg - (45.10KB , 620x600 , moreabsintheplease.jpg )
72429

A sudden blast wave sends you flying. You catch a glimpse of Vincent triumphantly roaring: "I am the Green Fairy!"

All that remains is dark silence.

Oliver's Inferno is TBC.
>>
No. 72451 ID: cf407a

>>72429
Its like I'm actually tripping on acid...
>>
No. 72739 ID: af929b

>>72451
>filename
>>
No. 73478 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761231841.jpg - (39.99KB , 620x600 , eye.jpg )
73478

Everything aches.

There's a heavy weight on you.

Slowly you force your eyes open.
>>
No. 73479 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761241646.jpg - (28.26KB , 620x600 , facetoface.jpg )
73479

"Are you okay?"
>>
No. 73480 ID: cf407a

>>73479
French kiss, just like in the movies!
>>
No. 73482 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761324238.jpg - (19.18KB , 620x600 , goddamnit.jpg )
73482

>>73480
You've been to the cons, but god damn.
>>
No. 73483 ID: cf407a
File 125761352428.png - (264.79KB , 760x749 , awesome_face.png )
73483

>>73482
>>
No. 73484 ID: 064d19

>>73482
It's no worse than what was under those suits, or yourself, actually.
>>
No. 73485 ID: f4963f

>>73482
No, not kissing times.

Ask what happened. Where's Van Gogh?
>>
No. 73488 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761451791.jpg - (21.10KB , 620x600 , finethen.jpg )
73488

>>73484

After a long, awkward silence, Badgertaur explains Vincent flew away, followed by a swarm of faeries.
>>
No. 73490 ID: 5a9e00

Ok, now grab her ass...
>>
No. 73491 ID: f4963f

>>73488
... alright. So where does that put us relative to New Babel?
>>
No. 73493 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761496677.jpg - (27.43KB , 620x600 , combobreaker.jpg )
73493

This romantic scene has been interrupted by two gentlemen and a wheelbarrow.
>>
No. 73495 ID: 15f6d6

Invite gentlemen to join in sexy fun time.
>>
No. 73496 ID: 5a9e00

Maybe we should form our own wheelbarrow and say hi
>>
No. 73497 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761547540.jpg - (34.65KB , 620x600 , highbrowquiztime.jpg )
73497

"What do ye want? Cannae ye see we're busy?"
>>
No. 73498 ID: 5a9e00

>>73497
You're late. We've been waiting for you. We're the wheelbarrow inspectors.
>>
No. 73501 ID: f4963f

>>73497
Ask the gentlemen who they are.
>>
No. 73518 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761735912.jpg - (23.70KB , 620x600 , crumpit.jpg )
73518

>>73501
"Ah am Mr David Hume and this is mah colleague Mr John Locke. Who are ye, if it isnae tae bold tae ask?"
>>
No. 73519 ID: 7eda8b

Say "I'm Oliver. I'm quite new here. This is my new friend Badgertaur. We've been mutilated by teeth and such, and were wondering if you guys knew any way to reverse injuries down here..."
>>
No. 73521 ID: 171ca4
File 125761786844.jpg - (103.18KB , 331x500 , 1233628799353.jpg )
73521

>>73518
>John Locke

Hey! You've heard of this guy before...
>>
No. 73522 ID: 5a9e00

>>73518
Crumpit inspectors. Do you have a permit for that? You could be facing some serious fines. Tell you what though... we'll let you go if you answer all our questions.
>>
No. 73523 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761806961.jpg - (27.58KB , 620x600 , hume.jpg )
73523

"Well if it's a surgeon yer looking fer, ye want tae go tae New Babel. But they don' let jest anyone in, ye ken. Ye need a recommendation fer that!"
>>
No. 73525 ID: 7eda8b

>>73523
"Thanks! And what means of acquiring a recommendation might you two fine empiricists, uh, recommend?"
>>
No. 73526 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761911431.jpg - (28.79KB , 620x600 , locke.jpg )
73526

"We could use him."
"Aye, ye might be right. Although might doesnae imply is. But it's worth tha try anyhow."
"Listen up, cur, we can get you that recommendation, but on a single condition. We are partaking in the annual philosopher wheelbarrow race. Just intercept the other teams as they arrive. If we win, we'll give you that recommendation."
"We stole tha wheel from tha Greeks' wheelbarrow and we got tha Frogs piss drunk. It's those damn Germans we're worried aboot."

"So, how about it, dog?"
>>
No. 73527 ID: 9e9b47

>>73526

Alright, Curly. You got a deal.
>>
No. 73528 ID: 5a9e00

We a re not a /dog/ geeze.
>>
No. 73529 ID: cf407a

>>73526
Pft foiling the German philosophers should be easy, just ask them "so tell me about about your mom."
>>
No. 73532 ID: ee2dfc
File 12576200286.jpg - (19.67KB , 620x600 , pawing.jpg )
73532

After a gentlemanly handshake, the Britons depart. Would you like to make any preparations?
>>
No. 73533 ID: 43d730

>>73532
Find a vantage point to gather information.
See who the lineup includes.
>>
No. 73534 ID: 7eda8b

Replace their wheelbarrow with yourself.
>>
No. 73535 ID: f4963f

>>73532
Preparations? I suppose just making sure we don't miss them. We'll get them krauts!
>>
No. 73537 ID: ee2dfc
File 12576204811.jpg - (21.11KB , 620x600 , area.jpg )
73537

There's a pass at the direction where the Britons came from. You assume they came through the pass. You can't see any other competitors yet.

There are some craggy rock formations around. The ground is hard-packed earth with some loose pebbles.

The arrow marks where you are now.
>>
No. 73553 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762126546.jpg - (26.47KB , 620x600 , scout.jpg )
73553

You hear distant singing. It seems to be coming towards you. You can spy two figures and a wheelbarrow coming through the pass.
>>
No. 73556 ID: 7eda8b

Hide behind a rock, then jump out when they come close and engage in aggressive hugging.
>>
No. 73559 ID: 15f6d6

Hide behind some rocks, I suppose. I bet it's gonna be Kant and Kierkegaard
>>
No. 73561 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762171980.jpg - (40.50KB , 620x600 , vivalafrance.jpg )
73561

You hide behind a rock. You can see the two figures more clearly now. They seem inebriated.
>>
No. 73562 ID: 15f6d6

They look like they're taken care of, just let them go past.
>>
No. 73563 ID: f4963f

>>73561
Ah, those would be the frogs.

Give em a quick hug. They're not really who you're worried about, but that one guy's hair looks so murrfectly soft.

Just... don't get too caught up in the hug. We've gotta intercept ze Geehmans.
>>
No. 73570 ID: 7eda8b

Ask them where the germans are.

They're probably ahead.
>>
No. 73571 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762229486.jpg - (23.27KB , 620x600 , hugz.jpg )
73571

"Hein? Est-ce vous, Marie?"
>>
No. 73574 ID: f4963f

>>73571
Pardon me, but I'd like to know where the Germans are. Did they get here before you?
>>
No. 73575 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762262078.jpg - (32.81KB , 620x600 , smooch.jpg )
73575

"Oh, Marie! Votre fourrure est si douce!"
>>
No. 73578 ID: f4963f

>>73571
Oh, and add...

Non, non, je ne sais pas Marie. :(

Mais, Je vous aime~ ... J'aime votre cheveux. <3

( Gah, it's been too long since I've practiced French. )
>>
No. 73579 ID: 7eda8b

Say "Your language is sexy," and kiss him.
>>
No. 73580 ID: f4963f

>>73575
AHAHAHA.
YES. ACCEPT FROG KISSES.
>>
No. 73582 ID: f4963f

>>73578
Er... sais -> suis.

Derp.
>>
No. 73584 ID: 4e56c9

Tell them they are going the wrong way. Misdirect them so that they lose.
>>
No. 73586 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762312852.jpg - (27.91KB , 620x600 , frogprince.jpg )
73586

You are not entirely comfortable with the turn of events.

At least he's a good kisser.
>>
No. 73589 ID: f4963f

>>73586
You just got bitten in half. It's really not that bad, comparatively speaking.

Anyway, let the drunken Frenchmen be on their way, unless they can tell you where the Germans went.
>>
No. 73592 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762367692.jpg - (23.85KB , 620x600 , norush.jpg )
73592

"E-excuse me.. mhmmf..."

The French do not seem to be in a hurry.
>>
No. 73595 ID: 100115

>>73592
Lick his face a little. The French fucking love that shit.
>>
No. 73597 ID: 15f6d6

See if you can't drag them off behind the rocks or something. We need to get hid before the Germans show up.
>>
No. 73599 ID: f4963f

>>73592
Aw, poor badgertaur. XD

Yeah, let's take this somewhere where the GEHMANS won't detect us.
>>
No. 73601 ID: 7eda8b

Okay, that's enough. Say "Non! Non!" and pull away. We have to find ze Germans.
>>
No. 73603 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762440934.jpg - (28.07KB , 620x600 , flirty.jpg )
73603

"Putain Voltaire, pourquoi pensez-vous de toujours laisser les laides pour moi?"

---

You struggle free of the Frenchman's grasp.
>>
No. 73607 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762480479.jpg - (33.75KB , 620x600 , proposal.jpg )
73607

The Frenchman drops down on one knee and produces a ring.

"Voulez-vous me marier, Marie?"
>>
No. 73617 ID: f00ef0

>>73607
gasp
say i do
in french
>>
No. 73621 ID: f4963f

>>73607
Where can we even get married in Hell?

... WHO CARES. Accept proposal.
>>
No. 73624 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762566563.jpg - (36.32KB , 620x600 , kierkegaardisdanish.jpg )
73624

The ground begins to tremble and a low rumble drowns your words.

The Germans have arrived.
>>
No. 73628 ID: ee2dfc

Oh and also, last update for today.
>>
No. 73635 ID: 476456

THATS NOT A WHEELBARROW! THATS NOT A WHEELBARROW AT ALL, OH GOD!
>>
No. 73636 ID: 7eda8b

Remember that Germans are immune to MERCY, PITY, and COMPASSION, and are highly resistant to ENEMY INNOVATION, but are weak vs MECHANICAL FAILURE and AUTHORITY.

Yell "HALT!" in your loudest and most assertive voice, practiced in the art of attention-getting from countless drama-filled cons. In their distraction, throw a rock into the smokestack.
>>
No. 73657 ID: 7eda8b

We also need to consider whether getting our legs back is good enough to abandon a romance with Voltaire. Is that a price we are willing to pay?
>>
No. 73707 ID: f4963f

>>73657
>Getting legs back vs marrying Voltaire

I now declare you husband and hat? :D
>>
No. 73733 ID: af3e6d

>>73636
HALT! HAMMERZEIT!
>>
No. 76042 ID: fa673e
File 125804149175.jpg - (60.38KB , 620x600 , g1.jpg )
76042

The trembling paw was extended promptly.
A fragmented voice of queer bestial nature uttered a command to halt.
The goliath of iron obliged not until the very last moment, when it abruptly came to a stop, showering the audience with loose gravel and bitter engine fumes.
Two pairs of inquisitive eyes fell upon the quivering canine form caught in the middle of this bizarre play.
>>
No. 76043 ID: f4963f

>>76042
Greet ze Gehrmans!

Tell them that you're interested in their thoughts on empiricism.
>>
No. 76044 ID: 547e3f

>>76042
Forget begging for mercy, Germans don't even know the meaning of that word.
You have to keep a brave but still subservient stance, this way they might accept you as a noble savage.
>>
No. 76045 ID: d8aa80

Insist that it is a categorical imperative that you count as a person because of your ability to reason, and you therefore may not be run down where you stand.
>>
No. 76046 ID: fa673e
File 125804316292.jpg - (47.10KB , 620x600 , g2.jpg )
76046

"And who speaks philosophy under the guise of the wolf and what is the lamb of his desire?"
>>
No. 76050 ID: 5a9e00

um... wheelbarrow inspector?
>>
No. 76051 ID: f4963f

>>76046
Ask them if they've ever dreamt of the blue flower.
>>
No. 76053 ID: d8aa80

Say your name is Oliver, and he should know that the guise is unimportant as long as we are capable of exercising our reason.
>>
No. 76055 ID: fa673e
File 125804525097.jpg - (62.29KB , 620x600 , g3.jpg )
76055

"To don the cloak of a Romantic and sample the profane of the Dionysian? Lo, here comes Oliver speaking with the tongues of Goethe and the evil old Kant! But pray tell, why should we remain, when there is much work to do? Two confused Britons require the attention of our iron-clad thesis materialised!"
>>
No. 76056 ID: 547e3f

>>76055
Look dumbfounded.
>>
No. 76057 ID: fa673e
File 125804644745.jpg - (45.00KB , 620x600 , g4.jpg )
76057

"Will you stop talking to hats, you raving lunatic? And for the last time, we are not gonna run the British team over."

The grinding cacophony of the gears permeated the still air of the Inferno.
As if caught with a fit of palsy, the great machine begun to shake again, coughing and vomiting noxious fumes.
>>
No. 76058 ID: d8aa80

Tell him god obviously isn't too dead if he's where he is now. Ask him how that makes him feel.
>>
No. 76059 ID: 5a9e00

Tell them the british took a shortcut. Point off in the wrong direction.
>>
No. 76060 ID: f4963f

>>76057
Tell him that you are an extremely comfortable hat, as a matter of fact. We are not content merely being any old hat.
>>
No. 76061 ID: 5a9e00

We are the ideal form of the hat, ala plato, and demand to be treated with respect.
>>
No. 76062 ID: f4963f

>>76061
THIS. We are Descartes' deontological hat. INFORM THEM AS SUCH.
>>
No. 76063 ID: fa673e
File 125804788640.jpg - (46.57KB , 620x600 , g5.jpg )
76063

"I am dead and I am here, why should God be an exception? And so have died the tired and outdated ideas of my predecessors, it would seem! Oh, Oliver the Hat of Useless Theories, you fill me with schadenfreude! Schopenhauer, I must have this hat!"
>>
No. 76064 ID: f4963f

>>76063
I see nothing wrong with this.

Say that we'll be glad to be worn as long as Badgertaur can hitch a ride as well. <3
>>
No. 76065 ID: d8aa80

This is perfect! We can cover his eyes an an opportune moment. Plus, we will already be inside!

Tell him you are the overman, by virtue of you being a hat and all.
>>
No. 76067 ID: 5a9e00

Explain that we cannot be on any head inferior to the head of the ubrmencsh we currently adorn, namely badgertaur. And as such we cannot go unless he takes badgertaur with us.
>>
No. 76068 ID: d8aa80

>>76065
I was more implying that by virtue of being a hat, we are always over (ie on top of) man.
>>
No. 76069 ID: 5a9e00

>>76068
Except when the hat is taken off, of course.
>>
No. 76070 ID: fa673e
File 125804916998.jpg - (47.84KB , 620x600 , g6.jpg )
76070

With a triumphant giggle, Oliver the Hat was relocated and his former bearer placed on the Engine.

Only a choking cloud of dust was left to accompany the heartbroken Frenchmen.
>>
No. 76071 ID: fa673e
File 125804924456.jpg - (48.68KB , 620x600 , g7.jpg )
76071

Oliver's Inferno is TBC.
>>
No. 76072 ID: f4963f

>>76070
FUCK YES.

NIETZSCHE IN A WOLF HAT.

FUCK YES.
>>
No. 78739 ID: fa673e
File 125858258561.jpg - (36.25KB , 620x600 , e1.jpg )
78739

[Epilogue]
(This part of the quest is not interactive)

"Yeah, I saw him. The bastard."
>>
No. 78740 ID: fa673e
File 12585826493.jpg - (35.94KB , 620x600 , e2.jpg )
78740

"Dog Man destroy Mishka's bar!"
>>
No. 78741 ID: fa673e
File 125858269632.jpg - (40.56KB , 620x600 , e3.jpg )
78741

"BLBLBLB"
>>
No. 78743 ID: fa673e
File 125858274542.jpg - (25.66KB , 620x600 , e4.jpg )
78743

"Squeek."
>>
No. 78745 ID: fa673e
File 125858293762.jpg - (38.48KB , 620x600 , e5.jpg )
78745

"Yes! I can smell you! I can smell you Oliver Green!

You have caused more mayham in Hell than anyone before! For this, I will make your suffering trifold!

None will escape me! None!"
>>
No. 78757 ID: fa673e

[End of Part 2]
>>
No. 78779 ID: dcc3f3

>>78745
Wait a sec... He made people in hell sad... Shouldn't you be pleased with him?
>>
No. 78783 ID: cf407a

>>78779
I heard Hell is really big on irony.

Track him down Anubis! Force him to watch live action Disney movies for eternity.
>>
No. 78794 ID: 632862

>>78783
You're forgetting the protagonist is a huge furry. I don't think he'd mind that much.
>>
No. 78841 ID: cf407a

>>78794
Fine fine, straight porn videos featuring human males and females going at it in the missionary positions using condoms.
>>
No. 78844 ID: 5d5878

>>78841
You sick fuck. Why do they let you people on the internet?
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