Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)13:18 No. 71662 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719671924.jpg - (49.03KB , 820x800 , foot.jpg )

[Intro]
Suddenly, the Deus Ex Machina in the form of a Monty Python reference.

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)13:19 No. 71663 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719678048.jpg - (27.13KB , 620x600 , intro1.jpg )

[Intro]
"Huh, I wonder where people go when they die in Hell..."

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)13:21 No. 71665 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719690910.jpg - (39.93KB , 620x600 , laika1.jpg )

[End Intro]
"Oh, I don't know, maybe Nangilima.
Say, I live just by and... heh, could I get you a cup of coffee or something?"

>>71665
Politely accept her offer for a cup of coffee.

>>71667
You mean hir.

Remember there's a bulge, people.

Politely decline. You have to go... uh... wash your hair.

>Oliver's Inferno returns
<3 <3

Ahem. Accept said coffee. No need to be rude.

Yes, I'd love some... hot coffee.

Oliver doesn't even have a butthole. He's completely smooth. What are we so worried about? Accept the coffee.

>>71672
It'd have to be oral.
Eh, couldn't hurt.

Some hot coffee sounds good. Accept with a wink.

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)13:39 No. 71676 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719793816.jpg - (32.06KB , 620x600 , laikahouse.jpg )

"Here we are!
You like the place?"

"I love it."

it's jawsome.

>>71676
Two stories? And they're both above ground?!

This place is so much better than our mother's basement.

>>71676
Poke the facade to reveal the shithole behind it.

Why does it have no straight lines?

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)13:46 No. 71683 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719836262.jpg - (23.44KB , 620x600 , oshit.jpg )

>>71680
"Wait a minute... this is a cardboard cut out! And why is there a hole in he-"

Laika kicks you into the hole.
You hear something along the following lines as you fall:
"He's all yours now, my part of the deal is done!"

>>71683
FFFFFFFFFFFF.....that that bitch!

>>71683
I KNEW IT WAS A FACADE! GODDAMMIT I KNEW IT!

I EVEN SAID THERE WAS A HOLE BEHIND IT!

>>71683
Scream that this is not, in fact, sparta.

>>71683
Grab the edge! Swear revenge. >:(

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)13:58 No. 71688 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719907855.jpg - (26.99KB , 620x600 , script.jpg )

So many immortal lines! Which one to pick?

"You know, somewhere in my murry purry guts, I knew I'd end up falling for Laika."

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)14:04 No. 71693 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125719944649.jpg - (50.46KB , 620x600 , bottom.jpg )

>>71689
Yes, that's it!
Gravity applauds to you with a mighty clap. You have reached the bottom.

>>71693
Lucky you don't have a bigger tail to break.

Get up and survey your surroundings. Are there two vases on pedestals and a big blue Police Box nearby, with the giant glowing figure of Satan staring down at you?

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)14:17 No. 71701 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720026325.jpg - (43.25KB , 620x600 , dark.jpg )

It's dark and cold in here. You can't really see anything but the red glow somewhere up there. You can feel a breeze however and there was a loud echo, so you think the place might be more than just a pit.

Gee, you kinda wish you hadn't died and gone to hell. You could be happily munching your baconweave in your mum's basement, sparking up drama on the Internets...

>>71701
Wallow in self-pity.

Also, wander around.

>>71701
This would be a good time to see if your dursona's nose catches scents any better than your human one. Can you smell or hear anything unusual?

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)14:34 No. 71710 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720127268.jpg - (29.16KB , 620x600 , oliver.jpg )

You can smell a musky rodent smell and... candle wax.

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)14:44 No. 71712 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720186011.jpg - (42.59KB , 620x600 , candles.jpg )

Suddenly... candles!
Also, there seems to be a bunch of pictures of you. Hey, someone has ripped the eyes out!

>>71712
A... gah... gah...

FFFFFFF
Wait, wait. Did you know any rat fursons in your previous life?

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)14:55 No. 71716 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720252893.jpg - (13.88KB , 620x600 , oliver1.jpg )

>>71714
A few... But none had eye-gauging fetish as far as you know.

>>71716

Rat-fursona boyfriend?

>>71716
Well, creepy stalker-shrines are generally bad news. Now that the candles are lit, see if a way out is visible.

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)15:02 No. 71722 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720292396.jpg - (30.24KB , 620x600 , squeak.jpg )

Hey, a squeaky sound! Something's coming! Maybe it can help you out of here!

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)15:04 No. 71724 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720306099.jpg - (10.87KB , 620x600 , buttercup1.jpg )

Why...

It's Buttercup! Your first pet... who died of a tragic but UNEXPLAINED vaginal rupture...

>>71724
HUGS!

>>71724
Oh man. You are so fucked.

Get the hell out of there, right now.

Suggestion 2009/11/02(Mon)15:07 No. 71728 ID: 7ce0ea
File 125720322215.gif - (143.37KB , 620x600 , buttercupanimated.gif )

[Animated]

Oh shi-

Oliver's Inferno is to be continued.

oooh dis is baad

Oh perfect. This way she won't die so quickly.

>>71728
Well, think of it this way. You're already dead and in hell. How much worse can it get?

>>71749
Looks like we're about to find out!

>>72041
Quick! Sing him (her?) the song of your people!

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)09:07 No. 72046 ID: ee2dfc
File 125726803295.jpg - (41.59KB , 620x600 , chomp.jpg )

>>72045
"Uh..uh.. O! say can you see by the dawn's early light...
Not working!

Um... Somewhere over the rainbo-
ARRGHHHH! FUUUUCK!"

>>72046
This is not murry, not at all!

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)09:21 No. 72048 ID: ee2dfc
File 125726889425.jpg - (39.09KB , 620x600 , omnom.jpg )

"AAARGHGFFFFAAAAACKKHHH!"

>>72048
This is someone's sexual fetish, I'm certain.

This is what happens when you trust COMMUNISTS.

Try praying. You have nothing to lose.

>>72054

Except your torso I guess.

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)10:10 No. 72062 ID: ee2dfc
File 12572718001.jpg - (19.17KB , 620x600 , deusexmachina.jpg )

Suddenly, a rope appears in front of your face.
You hear someone shouting: "Grab the rope!"

>>72062
Munch on the delicious rope.

>>72059
HAHAHHAHAHA!

>>72059
I love you.

Anyway, grab that rope, Oliver. You don't wanna figure out where people go when they die in Hell.

>>72067
You run into Flynn Taggart. It usually doesn't end well...

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)10:32 No. 72070 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727314556.jpg - (33.86KB , 620x600 , upwego.jpg )

Mmm, liquorice.

Leaving the wildly snapping Buttercup behind, you slowly ascend, bleeding like a Tarantino movie.

in b4 something worse

>>72070
Bleed in a more manly fashion.

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)10:44 No. 72082 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727388272.jpg - (26.69KB , 620x600 , manly.jpg )

A manly furry? Sounds like an oxymoron, but at least you try.

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)10:48 No. 72083 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727408957.jpg - (17.69KB , 620x600 , hand.jpg )

Speaking of manly, you see an oddly familiar hand.
"Take my hand", a voice rasps.

>>72083
Get ye oddly familiar hand.

>>72085
Dawww. Is he the badgertaur?

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)11:03 No. 72091 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727499496.jpg - (21.01KB , 620x600 , bt.jpg )

>>72086
"Y-you remember me?
I'd cry out of joy, but my tear ducts were removed."

>>72091
Thank Badger (or would BT be better?) for helping us out of that... situation.

Then check on status of self and current location.

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)11:08 No. 72094 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727531951.jpg - (16.98KB , 620x600 , bt2.jpg )

"I-I've been following you around... s-see I-I'm kind of... a fan.
I know the area pretty well and... ahum, I was thinking... maybe I can h-help you or something?"

>>72094
Alright, sure. We'd love to do that.

Ask him if he knows of any way out of hell. Lament the fact that neither of you is a bat for a very obvious pun opportunity.

>>72094
Pose as a team, cuz shit just got real

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)11:19 No. 72097 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727597247.jpg - (33.43KB , 620x600 , epic.jpg )

>>72096

>>72093
The pit is the same you were kicked into earlier. Laika's fake house has disappeared. The surrounding area seems to be designed by the same guy who decorated Mordor.
>>72095
The Purgatory serves as a crossing point to Heaven, but it's heavily guarded. There is no way to Earth, unless someone on Earth happens to open the Gates of Hell.

>>72097
What sort of help does he need anyway?

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)11:35 No. 72105 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727691170.jpg - (18.52KB , 620x600 , legs.jpg )

>>72103
Legs would be nice.

>>72105
Fuck legs. Are there any tank treads laying around?

Ask him if there's any way to reverse injuries here. (Though from the looks of the guy, the answer is no)

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)11:44 No. 72111 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727747849.jpg - (14.24KB , 620x600 , bt3.jpg )

>>72107
"I'm not sure... but I think if you manage to find the original parts, they kind of... reattatch.

Then there's all kinds of implants and stuff."

>>72106
Nope.

>>72111
What about a hovercraft? Mechanical stilts? Giant centipedes? Anything at all except for rocks and more rocks?

Guess we'll settle on being the badger's hat for now. Make sure it's a snuggly fit.

He will have to piggyback us.

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)11:59 No. 72118 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727835228.jpg - (28.70KB , 620x600 , hat.jpg )

"I must say... you are the comfiest hat I ever wore!"

>>72118
Okay. So our new objective is to either find replacement limbs, or get our limbs back from Buttercup.

... the latter sounds a bit dangerous. Ask Badger if he knows where we can get mechanical parts for robo-legs or somesuch.

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)12:05 No. 72121 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727871454.jpg - (24.10KB , 620x600 , bt4.jpg )

"New Babel City and Dis are the nearest towns."

Ask him if he knows anybody who might be able to kill or restrain our vengeful hamster so that we might retrieve our murrfect legs.

>>72121
Oh geez, I need to brush up on my literary references ... ask Badger which location he'd rather go to.

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)12:12 No. 72125 ID: ee2dfc
File 125727916961.jpg - (21.01KB , 620x600 , bt5.jpg )

"I don't really know anyone... people tend to avoid me."

Badgertaur the badgertaur sighs.

"But I do know that New Babel City has a lot of cultural types around... whereas Dis got a new Keeper some years ago and is experiencing a commercial boom. The former is nearer, so we could check it out first. You are a bit heavy."

>>72125
Hey, it's ALL MUSCLE.

Yeah, let's go to Babel first.

Suggestion 2009/11/03(Tue)12:33 No. 72132 ID: ee2dfc
File 125728041433.jpg - (18.35KB , 620x600 , offtobabel.jpg )

Oliver's Inferno is TBC.

>>72111
Say "So I guess I'll have hamster poo legs in a few days..."

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)09:05 No. 72354 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735432836.jpg - (284.91KB , 1126x1058 , nearingbabel.jpg )

Gradually the fire and brimstone scene changes. You must be getting closer to New Babel City.

>>72354
Hell sure is beautiful tonight. Discuss the finer points of the night sky with your new companion.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)09:18 No. 72359 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735510665.jpg - (298.36KB , 1126x1058 , stepladder.jpg )

"Looks squiggly."
"Could really use more lense flare."
"He'll never get any +favs."

Oh, and there's a step ladder.
"I wonder what it represents?" Badgertaur muses.

>>72359
It represents a step ladder climb it, and use furry muscle arms to hold on tight.

Climb the steplater. Also, you need to +watch the night sky artist. It doesn't matter if it looks like the sky, that's his style. You should know.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)09:52 No. 72363 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735716529.jpg - (35.84KB , 620x600 , climban.jpg )

With great effort you scale the step ladder that would make even the most hardened safety inspector cry.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)10:00 No. 72364 ID: ee2dfc
File 12573576429.jpg - (38.49KB , 620x600 , vincent.jpg )

"How am I supposed to paint sunflowers in Hell when someone's rocking my step ladder?"

>>72364
Photoshop.

>>72364
"Hey dude, how's that ear of yours? Still horribly misshapen? Anyways, is this the way to Babel?"

>>72364
Why are you painting sunflowers, anyway?
I can't imagine there are any in hell that don't have fangs or something...

I'm telling you, +watch this guy.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)10:17 No. 72370 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735863715.jpg - (30.41KB , 620x600 , vince.jpg )

"The council of New Babel commissioned something to cover up the old sooty landscape and... is that MY hat you are wearing?"

>>72370
Well, it looks nice. I think it's an improvement. Do you have a DA? I'd totally +watch you. :3

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)10:31 No. 72373 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735945990.jpg - (22.81KB , 620x600 , vince2.jpg )

"I know who you are! You are the green fairy! Give me my hat back!"

>>72373
Well alright. Fine. Let him try you on for size. He'll probably give you up once he realizes how heavy you are.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)10:36 No. 72375 ID: ee2dfc
File 125735979439.jpg - (43.46KB , 390x574 , vgogh.jpg )

"United once again!"

You kind of miss the smoothness of Badgertaur's scalp.

>>72375
Okay, now do some serious art critique.

Die for Van Gogh's hat. It cannot end any better than with a happy Van Gogh. A beautiful end with red paint that changes color over time.

>>72375
That's fucking beautiful man. Aks Vin if needs any help with that painting. Start flailing around with color without waiting for an answer.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)10:52 No. 72386 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736076586.jpg - (44.36KB , 390x574 , vgogh2.jpg )

>>72378
"Needs more murry. Try some gradients next!"

>>72381
But you already died once today... ish (it's hard to tell the time in Hell).

>>72386
Kibitz until he gets mad at you.

>>72384
Awright, but I expect a better end than Van Gogh later on.

Suggest unnecessary filters.

He needs to use more dodge/burn and lens flares. Maybe that saran wrap filter. That makes things look sweet.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)11:09 No. 72393 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736175911.jpg - (59.93KB , 427x548 , murr.jpg )

"Damnit, Hat! This isn't at all what I had in mind!"

>>72393
There are just too many clothes around, this'll never do!

>>72393
Needs more naked. Also more dick.

This is ridiculous. You are a ridiculous hat.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)11:18 No. 72402 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736230115.jpg - (45.82KB , 390x574 , vgogh3.jpg )

"Don't forget the knot."

Lament the loss of your own knot.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)11:26 No. 72411 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736279651.jpg - (47.40KB , 390x574 , vgogh4.jpg )

>>72405

>>72411
Cancel your weeping session for now. There are green things flying around.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)11:35 No. 72416 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736330645.jpg - (45.25KB , 390x574 , vgogh5.jpg )

>>72414
But it's so beautiful!
"Now put knots on the nipples!"

Van Gough, you're turning into The Hulk. Stop it.

Stop infuriating everyone you meet.

>>72421
Dude. He's a furry.

>>72425
SILENCE.

OBEY.

Suggestion 2009/11/04(Wed)11:48 No. 72429 ID: ee2dfc
File 125736409371.jpg - (45.10KB , 620x600 , moreabsintheplease.jpg )

A sudden blast wave sends you flying. You catch a glimpse of Vincent triumphantly roaring: "I am the Green Fairy!"

All that remains is dark silence.

Oliver's Inferno is TBC.

>>72429
Its like I'm actually tripping on acid...

>>72451
>filename

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)08:45 No. 73478 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761231841.jpg - (39.99KB , 620x600 , eye.jpg )

Everything aches.

There's a heavy weight on you.

Slowly you force your eyes open.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)08:46 No. 73479 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761241646.jpg - (28.26KB , 620x600 , facetoface.jpg )

"Are you okay?"

>>73479
French kiss, just like in the movies!

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)09:00 No. 73482 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761324238.jpg - (19.18KB , 620x600 , goddamnit.jpg )

>>73480
You've been to the cons, but god damn.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)09:05 No. 73483 ID: cf407a
File 125761352428.png - (264.79KB , 760x749 , awesome_face.png )

>>73482

>>73482
It's no worse than what was under those suits, or yourself, actually.

>>73482
No, not kissing times.

Ask what happened. Where's Van Gogh?

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)09:21 No. 73488 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761451791.jpg - (21.10KB , 620x600 , finethen.jpg )

>>73484

After a long, awkward silence, Badgertaur explains Vincent flew away, followed by a swarm of faeries.

Ok, now grab her ass...

>>73488
... alright. So where does that put us relative to New Babel?

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)09:29 No. 73493 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761496677.jpg - (27.43KB , 620x600 , combobreaker.jpg )

This romantic scene has been interrupted by two gentlemen and a wheelbarrow.

Invite gentlemen to join in sexy fun time.

Maybe we should form our own wheelbarrow and say hi

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)09:37 No. 73497 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761547540.jpg - (34.65KB , 620x600 , highbrowquiztime.jpg )

"What do ye want? Cannae ye see we're busy?"

>>73497
You're late. We've been waiting for you. We're the wheelbarrow inspectors.

>>73497
Ask the gentlemen who they are.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)10:09 No. 73518 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761735912.jpg - (23.70KB , 620x600 , crumpit.jpg )

>>73501
"Ah am Mr David Hume and this is mah colleague Mr John Locke. Who are ye, if it isnae tae bold tae ask?"

Say "I'm Oliver. I'm quite new here. This is my new friend Badgertaur. We've been mutilated by teeth and such, and were wondering if you guys knew any way to reverse injuries down here..."

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)10:17 No. 73521 ID: 171ca4
File 125761786844.jpg - (103.18KB , 331x500 , 1233628799353.jpg )

>>73518
>John Locke

Hey! You've heard of this guy before...

>>73518
Crumpit inspectors. Do you have a permit for that? You could be facing some serious fines. Tell you what though... we'll let you go if you answer all our questions.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)10:21 No. 73523 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761806961.jpg - (27.58KB , 620x600 , hume.jpg )

"Well if it's a surgeon yer looking fer, ye want tae go tae New Babel. But they don' let jest anyone in, ye ken. Ye need a recommendation fer that!"

>>73523
"Thanks! And what means of acquiring a recommendation might you two fine empiricists, uh, recommend?"

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)10:38 No. 73526 ID: ee2dfc
File 125761911431.jpg - (28.79KB , 620x600 , locke.jpg )

"We could use him."
"Aye, ye might be right. Although might doesnae imply is. But it's worth tha try anyhow."
"Listen up, cur, we can get you that recommendation, but on a single condition. We are partaking in the annual philosopher wheelbarrow race. Just intercept the other teams as they arrive. If we win, we'll give you that recommendation."
"We stole tha wheel from tha Greeks' wheelbarrow and we got tha Frogs piss drunk. It's those damn Germans we're worried aboot."

"So, how about it, dog?"

>>73526

Alright, Curly. You got a deal.

We a re not a /dog/ geeze.

>>73526
Pft foiling the German philosophers should be easy, just ask them "so tell me about about your mom."

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)10:53 No. 73532 ID: ee2dfc
File 12576200286.jpg - (19.67KB , 620x600 , pawing.jpg )

After a gentlemanly handshake, the Britons depart. Would you like to make any preparations?

>>73532
Find a vantage point to gather information.
See who the lineup includes.

Replace their wheelbarrow with yourself.

>>73532
Preparations? I suppose just making sure we don't miss them. We'll get them krauts!

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)11:01 No. 73537 ID: ee2dfc
File 12576204811.jpg - (21.11KB , 620x600 , area.jpg )

There's a pass at the direction where the Britons came from. You assume they came through the pass. You can't see any other competitors yet.

There are some craggy rock formations around. The ground is hard-packed earth with some loose pebbles.

The arrow marks where you are now.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)11:14 No. 73553 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762126546.jpg - (26.47KB , 620x600 , scout.jpg )

You hear distant singing. It seems to be coming towards you. You can spy two figures and a wheelbarrow coming through the pass.

Hide behind a rock, then jump out when they come close and engage in aggressive hugging.

Hide behind some rocks, I suppose. I bet it's gonna be Kant and Kierkegaard

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)11:22 No. 73561 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762171980.jpg - (40.50KB , 620x600 , vivalafrance.jpg )

You hide behind a rock. You can see the two figures more clearly now. They seem inebriated.

They look like they're taken care of, just let them go past.

>>73561
Ah, those would be the frogs.

Give em a quick hug. They're not really who you're worried about, but that one guy's hair looks so murrfectly soft.

Just... don't get too caught up in the hug. We've gotta intercept ze Geehmans.

Ask them where the germans are.

They're probably ahead.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)11:31 No. 73571 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762229486.jpg - (23.27KB , 620x600 , hugz.jpg )

"Hein? Est-ce vous, Marie?"

>>73571
Pardon me, but I'd like to know where the Germans are. Did they get here before you?

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)11:37 No. 73575 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762262078.jpg - (32.81KB , 620x600 , smooch.jpg )

"Oh, Marie! Votre fourrure est si douce!"

>>73571
Oh, and add...

Non, non, je ne sais pas Marie. :(

Mais, Je vous aime~ ... J'aime votre cheveux. <3

( Gah, it's been too long since I've practiced French. )

Say "Your language is sexy," and kiss him.

>>73575
AHAHAHA.
YES. ACCEPT FROG KISSES.

>>73578
Er... sais -> suis.

Derp.

Tell them they are going the wrong way. Misdirect them so that they lose.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)11:45 No. 73586 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762312852.jpg - (27.91KB , 620x600 , frogprince.jpg )

You are not entirely comfortable with the turn of events.

At least he's a good kisser.

>>73586
You just got bitten in half. It's really not that bad, comparatively speaking.

Anyway, let the drunken Frenchmen be on their way, unless they can tell you where the Germans went.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)11:54 No. 73592 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762367692.jpg - (23.85KB , 620x600 , norush.jpg )

"E-excuse me.. mhmmf..."

The French do not seem to be in a hurry.

>>73592
Lick his face a little. The French fucking love that shit.

See if you can't drag them off behind the rocks or something. We need to get hid before the Germans show up.

>>73592
Aw, poor badgertaur. XD

Yeah, let's take this somewhere where the GEHMANS won't detect us.

Okay, that's enough. Say "Non! Non!" and pull away. We have to find ze Germans.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)12:06 No. 73603 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762440934.jpg - (28.07KB , 620x600 , flirty.jpg )

"Putain Voltaire, pourquoi pensez-vous de toujours laisser les laides pour moi?"

---

You struggle free of the Frenchman's grasp.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)12:13 No. 73607 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762480479.jpg - (33.75KB , 620x600 , proposal.jpg )

The Frenchman drops down on one knee and produces a ring.

"Voulez-vous me marier, Marie?"

>>73607
gasp
say i do
in french

>>73607
Where can we even get married in Hell?

... WHO CARES. Accept proposal.

Suggestion 2009/11/07(Sat)12:27 No. 73624 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762566563.jpg - (36.32KB , 620x600 , kierkegaardisdanish.jpg )

The ground begins to tremble and a low rumble drowns your words.

The Germans have arrived.

Oh and also, last update for today.

THATS NOT A WHEELBARROW! THATS NOT A WHEELBARROW AT ALL, OH GOD!

Remember that Germans are immune to MERCY, PITY, and COMPASSION, and are highly resistant to ENEMY INNOVATION, but are weak vs MECHANICAL FAILURE and AUTHORITY.

Yell "HALT!" in your loudest and most assertive voice, practiced in the art of attention-getting from countless drama-filled cons. In their distraction, throw a rock into the smokestack.

We also need to consider whether getting our legs back is good enough to abandon a romance with Voltaire. Is that a price we are willing to pay?

>>73657
>Getting legs back vs marrying Voltaire

I now declare you husband and hat? :D

>>73636
HALT! HAMMERZEIT!

Suggestion 2009/11/12(Thu)07:58 No. 76042 ID: fa673e
File 125804149175.jpg - (60.38KB , 620x600 , g1.jpg )

The trembling paw was extended promptly.
A fragmented voice of queer bestial nature uttered a command to halt.
The goliath of iron obliged not until the very last moment, when it abruptly came to a stop, showering the audience with loose gravel and bitter engine fumes.
Two pairs of inquisitive eyes fell upon the quivering canine form caught in the middle of this bizarre play.

>>76042
Greet ze Gehrmans!

Tell them that you're interested in their thoughts on empiricism.

>>76042
Forget begging for mercy, Germans don't even know the meaning of that word.
You have to keep a brave but still subservient stance, this way they might accept you as a noble savage.

Insist that it is a categorical imperative that you count as a person because of your ability to reason, and you therefore may not be run down where you stand.

Suggestion 2009/11/12(Thu)08:26 No. 76046 ID: fa673e
File 125804316292.jpg - (47.10KB , 620x600 , g2.jpg )

"And who speaks philosophy under the guise of the wolf and what is the lamb of his desire?"

um... wheelbarrow inspector?

>>76046
Ask them if they've ever dreamt of the blue flower.

Say your name is Oliver, and he should know that the guise is unimportant as long as we are capable of exercising our reason.

Suggestion 2009/11/12(Thu)09:00 No. 76055 ID: fa673e
File 125804525097.jpg - (62.29KB , 620x600 , g3.jpg )

"To don the cloak of a Romantic and sample the profane of the Dionysian? Lo, here comes Oliver speaking with the tongues of Goethe and the evil old Kant! But pray tell, why should we remain, when there is much work to do? Two confused Britons require the attention of our iron-clad thesis materialised!"

>>76055
Look dumbfounded.

Suggestion 2009/11/12(Thu)09:20 No. 76057 ID: fa673e
File 125804644745.jpg - (45.00KB , 620x600 , g4.jpg )

"Will you stop talking to hats, you raving lunatic? And for the last time, we are not gonna run the British team over."

The grinding cacophony of the gears permeated the still air of the Inferno.
As if caught with a fit of palsy, the great machine begun to shake again, coughing and vomiting noxious fumes.

Tell him god obviously isn't too dead if he's where he is now. Ask him how that makes him feel.

Tell them the british took a shortcut. Point off in the wrong direction.

>>76057
Tell him that you are an extremely comfortable hat, as a matter of fact. We are not content merely being any old hat.

We are the ideal form of the hat, ala plato, and demand to be treated with respect.

>>76061
THIS. We are Descartes' deontological hat. INFORM THEM AS SUCH.

Suggestion 2009/11/12(Thu)09:44 No. 76063 ID: fa673e
File 125804788640.jpg - (46.57KB , 620x600 , g5.jpg )

"I am dead and I am here, why should God be an exception? And so have died the tired and outdated ideas of my predecessors, it would seem! Oh, Oliver the Hat of Useless Theories, you fill me with schadenfreude! Schopenhauer, I must have this hat!"

>>76063
I see nothing wrong with this.

Say that we'll be glad to be worn as long as Badgertaur can hitch a ride as well. <3

This is perfect! We can cover his eyes an an opportune moment. Plus, we will already be inside!

Tell him you are the overman, by virtue of you being a hat and all.

Explain that we cannot be on any head inferior to the head of the ubrmencsh we currently adorn, namely badgertaur. And as such we cannot go unless he takes badgertaur with us.

>>76065
I was more implying that by virtue of being a hat, we are always over (ie on top of) man.

>>76068
Except when the hat is taken off, of course.

Suggestion 2009/11/12(Thu)10:06 No. 76070 ID: fa673e
File 125804916998.jpg - (47.84KB , 620x600 , g6.jpg )

With a triumphant giggle, Oliver the Hat was relocated and his former bearer placed on the Engine.

Only a choking cloud of dust was left to accompany the heartbroken Frenchmen.

Suggestion 2009/11/12(Thu)10:07 No. 76071 ID: fa673e
File 125804924456.jpg - (48.68KB , 620x600 , g7.jpg )

Oliver's Inferno is TBC.

>>76070
FUCK YES.

NIETZSCHE IN A WOLF HAT.

FUCK YES.

Suggestion 2009/11/18(Wed)14:16 No. 78739 ID: fa673e
File 125858258561.jpg - (36.25KB , 620x600 , e1.jpg )

[Epilogue]
(This part of the quest is not interactive)

"Yeah, I saw him. The bastard."

Suggestion 2009/11/18(Wed)14:17 No. 78740 ID: fa673e
File 12585826493.jpg - (35.94KB , 620x600 , e2.jpg )

"Dog Man destroy Mishka's bar!"

Suggestion 2009/11/18(Wed)14:18 No. 78741 ID: fa673e
File 125858269632.jpg - (40.56KB , 620x600 , e3.jpg )

"BLBLBLB"

Suggestion 2009/11/18(Wed)14:19 No. 78743 ID: fa673e
File 125858274542.jpg - (25.66KB , 620x600 , e4.jpg )

"Squeek."

Suggestion 2009/11/18(Wed)14:22 No. 78745 ID: fa673e
File 125858293762.jpg - (38.48KB , 620x600 , e5.jpg )

"Yes! I can smell you! I can smell you Oliver Green!

You have caused more mayham in Hell than anyone before! For this, I will make your suffering trifold!

None will escape me! None!"

[End of Part 2]

>>78745
Wait a sec... He made people in hell sad... Shouldn't you be pleased with him?

>>78779
I heard Hell is really big on irony.

Track him down Anubis! Force him to watch live action Disney movies for eternity.

>>78783
You're forgetting the protagonist is a huge furry. I don't think he'd mind that much.

>>78794
Fine fine, straight porn videos featuring human males and females going at it in the missionary positions using condoms.

>>78841
You sick fuck. Why do they let you people on the internet?