Shishkebab 'em!

swing at neck level, take there heads off.

T-t-t-tripple kill.

Taunt kill x3 Killstreak

Apollo 2015/10/15(Thu)23:29 No. 676750 ID: defceb
File 144497696209.png - (226.12KB , 972x606 , c022.png )

"Hey nerds." I taunt. The three whip around into my blow, knocking their heads off in a neat row- fuck I missed one. They're screaming their head off now.

>>676750
tackle him, extract info

Perform non-lethal takedown, tie him up, and THEN interrogate.

Get the machine gun.

Apollo 2015/10/15(Thu)23:56 No. 676757 ID: defceb
File 144497857317.png - (108.85KB , 517x471 , c023.png )

I tackle the survivor to the ground and he’s got

a fucking

knife

fuck that hurts


Select one!

The Candy Man
You get a bag full of assorted grenades and candy bars!

Mmph! Mmph mmph mmph!
A flamethrower and a gas mask!

OH BOY, FLAMETHROWER

Apollo 2015/10/16(Fri)00:06 No. 676759 ID: defceb
File 144497921557.png - (170.09KB , 924x578 , c024.png )

"Hey nerds- wait, where'd they go?" I taunt?

"Hey! Hey I'm not dead yet! You uh... wouldn't happen to know how to treat a stab wound, by the way?"

>>676759
Radio in that you appear to be meeting your own clone because you didn't quite die before respawning?

How did this happen.

"Staunch the bleeding? Shit, are we 2p now? sick."

Cauterize it.

Wait where's the guy you tackled? Grab shotgun, make sure he's dead.

The knife is still stuck in there right? Don't remove it, it'll make it bleed more. Bandage the surrounding area and then get immediate help.

Or keep cutting people with the knife in you.

>>676762
that will cause a right risk of infection.

keep applying pressure and make some bandages. try not to run around tell the bleeding stops

Apollo 2015/10/16(Fri)00:35 No. 676766 ID: defceb
File 144498093233.png - (131.21KB , 827x461 , c025.png )

>Wait where's the guy you tackled?
Looks like other me has got them in a choke-hold.

I bandage the wound and tell them to keep some pressure on it while I radio this in.

“Hey so I kind of died but didn’t and now I’m hanging out with myself.”

“Oh snap that means you unlocked…”

Apollo 2015/10/16(Fri)00:35 No. 676767 ID: defceb
File 144498094873.png - (160.69KB , 950x638 , c026.png )

“CO-OP MODE.”

“Hey I’m in the lead!”

“No fair, I just got here.”

“Git gud, scrub.”

>>676767
Well that score is going to seem pretty small after Orange barbecues the party room.

>>676771
Let's go in the other rooms first.
What rings you got bitch?

>git gud
Don't tempt me into teamkilling.

Remove mask, kiss your sexy self (mmmm, grape) and then let's go kill everyone.

touch fluffy tail

LAST ONE TO THE PARTY'S A ROTTEN EGG! p1 grab machine gun! p2 keep Flammenwerfer!

>>676774
Yeah, don't worry about backstabbing, you still win if one of you wins.

Go to the next few rooms, look for something to combine with the flamethrower for an explosion. Look for a leader to assassinate.

>>676774

>>676767
quest: devolve into copius furry butt-touching

Then you need to get burninating, player 2! Time to turn that RAVE into a GRAVE!
Player 1, try readjusting your mask. It's still a mask, right?

Player one, take the machine gun back out to the hallway and aim it at the barricaded door. Player two, circle around and werf some flammen at the house party's other entrance, driving panicked crowd into killzone.

>>676767
That pyro is a woman, calling it.

>>676919
This
>>676791

>>676816
Then make love to your own clone
>>676974

Apollo 2015/10/18(Sun)14:22 No. 677556 ID: defceb
File 144520335025.png - (68.66KB , 559x376 , c027.png )

>quest: devolve into copius furry butt-touching

Apollo 2015/10/18(Sun)14:23 No. 677559 ID: defceb
File 144520340477.png - (76.37KB , 731x493 , c028.png )

"Last one to the party is a rotten egg!" I shout and blitz out the room before other-me can respond.

Once down the hall I shove the couch out of the way and prep myself to barge in.

Here we go. Three, two-

Apollo 2015/10/18(Sun)14:23 No. 677560 ID: defceb
File 144520342798.png - (62.54KB , 621x350 , c029.png )

Other-me cuts in with the machine gun, shooting through the wall.

Those should be my points!

Fuck it. Just flame anyone who tries to come through that door.

>>677560
Shout "killstealer!" and then kick the door down and hose the room down with fire. Other-you probably didn't kill everyone, since he's firing blind.

Kick in the door and start throwing flame.

Flank to the back and get ready to burn the survivors.

New idea: skip the rest of the floors and burn the place down!

>>677914
But how will that entertain whomever it is we're recording the video for?

Apollo 2015/10/19(Mon)22:46 No. 678130 ID: defceb
File 144531996238.png - (83.89KB , 815x455 , c030.png )

Yeah, fuck it. I kick open the door. One of those weirdos with a mask is chilling on the other side. "Hey, dude, what are you doing-"

I interrupt with a polite scorch.

Apollo 2015/10/19(Mon)22:49 No. 678131 ID: defceb
File 144532014976.png - (195.52KB , 922x616 , c031.png )

Then I let loose with the flamethrower! Not to be outdone by my other half, I paint over the surviving party guests with a curtain of flames. Somewhere between the music, the flames, the gunfire, and the screams I think... I think I'm actually enjoying this! HA! BURN! BURN BURN BUR- I don't think I have any means to stop the fire.

Uh.

The fire spreads rapidly throughout the room. Anybody who isn't already shot or burned to a crisp quickly catches fire as well.

If I don't get a move on, it'll probably catch me, too.

>>678131
It's ok fire likes to travel upwards, not downwards.

Time to go down a floor! let your partner know.

Yeah, use the fire escape and get to ground floor. Burn anyone who tries to leave while your partner takes the LMG and opens fire on the remainder at the basement.

What, you didn't pack fireproof clothing?
Oh well, move on and spread the joy to other rooms!

>>678134
This but instead just seat entire building on fire and get all the points
M-M-M-M-M-MONSTER KILL

We can't burn the place down yet, we have a basement to clear.

Time to get out!
Warn Purple if it's convienent, otherwise, head on down to floor two and continue the purge.

skip to floor one, burn the place down

you will get a multi-kill out of this world

Apollo 2015/10/20(Tue)15:46 No. 678363 ID: defceb
File 144538121371.png - (157.01KB , 714x1000 , c032.png )

I grab purple and shimmy down the fire escape.

“Who even builds ladders for fire escapes these days?”

“People who don’t want anyone to escape a fire?”

“Well it’s working. I’m still in the lead, by the way.”

“Screw you, how’d you even get 50 points?”

“Kill assist, nerd.”

Damn, other me is an asshole.

Apollo 2015/10/20(Tue)15:47 No. 678364 ID: defceb
File 144538122832.png - (134.86KB , 783x519 , c033.png )

Once we hit the ground we spot Bucky smoking on the curb. “Hey wonder twins!” He shouts between smoky giggles. “If it isn’t the crusader and- shit, you got a flamethrower? I never get that!”

“The proper term is flammenwerfer. I’m gonna werf some flammen all over this building and let it collapse on everyone.”

“I think that’s cheating. There might be plot or something on those floors.”

“Think of the kill combo, though.”

Bucky takes a long drag of whatever he’s smoking. “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, you’re right.”

Purple-you gets to guard the exits while you're burning the place down. Cut down anyone trying to escape.

Hug each other for a job well done!

Check the gamefaqs to see if there's any people of interest in this building. Of not, yeah, just bring it on down.
Wait how are we going to light a brick building on fire
Uh
Dont think about that thought

Orange is about to get all of the kills, there's no way you will be able to catch up to his score if he succeeds. Purple, once the fire is set engage PVP mode, eliminate the competition.

>>678364
Dude cmon let's find the plot or something.

Plot? Ah, you guys can just shoehorn that into the next building we clear, can't ya?

>>678369
The interior is full of flammable materials. Ignite it from the bottom up, and there'll be no escape. Except for the one we just used, I guess.
We need to get to the basement or find the fuel supply for the heating system from the outside.

The plot is that I'm plotting to burn down this building.

Alright fine, we'll go in the first floor and try and keep ahead of the flames. Purple needs to be patched up, though.

>step 1: complete mission

>step 2: contemplate selfcest

>step 3: profit

>>678546
You misspelled commit.

>>678570
Didn't say commit.

>>678615
Yes you did, you spelled it "contemplate".

I'm sorry if you aren't a native English speaker, that was a joke.

>>678630

I am a native English speaker. I did mean contemplate, not commit. I seriously thought you just wrong that read. : /

>>678684
The joke my friend, you're not quite getting it.

Plot? You think we are running around killing these masky guys we don't know anything about for plot?

>>678615
"You misspelled (other word entirely)" is a joke/meme meaning that the responder disagrees with your statement and would have instead said it with the other word.

>>678684
>>678732
Joke killed
+200 points!

>>678732
It's like if Someone says "Dudes check out my giant penis!" you can say "You misspelled tiny" or "you misspelled vagina"
also see FTFY

I now have 200 points after killing the joke.
Today was a productive day.

Apollo 2015/10/26(Mon)12:24 No. 679475 ID: defceb
File 144588749901.png - (157.82KB , 903x685 , c034.png )

“The plot is that I’m plotting to burn down this building.” I proceed to march around the building shooting fire into every window I can find. Once I’m satisfied the first floor is done, I bust open one of the basement windows and burn that, too. Now I just need to relax and let the tidal wave of points wash over me.

Apollo 2015/10/26(Mon)12:25 No. 679476 ID: defceb
File 144588752983.png - (49.07KB , 652x395 , c035.png )

“He’s going to get all the points.”

“I know.”

“Probably make leaderboard.”

“I know.”

“You could PVP to even the odds.”

>PvP
It's tempting, but but burning everyone to death is just too cool to mess up.

Also, orange you saved you when he could have let you knife die. That earns him one free not being stabbed in the back.

...maybe you can cut passing cars out of the road with your sword to compete. Or you can intercept and murder the fire department en route. You always wanted to drive one of those trucks.

Let him win this one, besides an friend like that could become useful.
Also are not curious how high the kill combo goes?

Nah man. Bros before KOs.

Also did you see him dancing around that building? He's like fifteen feet tall now bro I ain't fightin' that.

naw, if he's technically you then that means he's cool. Plus he did help you out earlier. Either way you can just kick beat his score next time and with a clone generally just fuck with people when you're not killing them.

Nah, man, I really couldn't. Rules of the cosmos: Paper beats rock, scissors beat paper, flamethrower beats sword.

How could you ever murder your self/best friend/lover?

Personally, I'm curious as to what happens when he overloads the score meter...

Let him live, see what happens.

is that really the attitude you want to instill in new recruits

Nah I wanna see how the system screws him over for trying to take advantage of it. He can't be the first person to try this kind of thing, and if the whole point is to entertain people this kinda thing probably has a harsh penalty.

Apollo 2015/10/28(Wed)15:51 No. 679932 ID: defceb
File 144607266396.png - (47.32KB , 650x441 , c036.png )

"Naw, I think this time I'll just let the little pyro have it.

Apollo 2015/10/28(Wed)15:51 No. 679934 ID: defceb
File 144607269010.png - (114.76KB , 1000x471 , c038.png )

New high scores! Input names: _________

>>679933
Told ya.

>>679934
P1: Squireblade (SqBld)
P2: Fu---

>>679934
1: Dong
2: 9999

Highlando and Pyroland.

1)GrapeSoda
2)Burninator9999999999999999999.... (put in as many nines as you can until you max the sting out)

>>679934
1. "[insert profanity of choice here]"
2. "Pyro'); DROP TABLE Scores;--"

1. and all I got was this knife wound
2. but a bitch ain't 1

1. dongs
2. jubblywubblies

>>679948

Anyone else really impressed with Bartleby for somehow getting 8,888,888,888?

P1=Church (because Templar)
P2=Diablo (because fire and being next to a holy man [of sorts])

I'm not an original man.

Dicer and Brimstone!

P1)ShitStain the eternal
P2)Hitler did nothing wrong

Timmy AppleCat and Fatty PeachDog

Apollo 2015/10/30(Fri)00:07 No. 680141 ID: defceb
File 144618882811.png - (38.15KB , 742x289 , c039.png )

>1. "[insert profanity of choice here]"
>2. "Pyro'); DROP TABLE Scores;--"
“Haha, really funny. Drop the score board. Now I have to get a new one, nerd.”

“Do I get bonus points for killing it?”

“Just get in the car.”

Apollo 2015/10/30(Fri)00:07 No. 680142 ID: defceb
File 144618884504.png - (138.72KB , 816x707 , c040.png )

YOU WIN

Clones killed - All of them
Cthulians burned - All of them in the building
Portals to Eldritch Realms Closed - Close enough/3
Necronomicons read - 0 / 1
Buckies killed - 0/1000
Tables Dropped - 1/1
Illuminati Plots Exposed - 0 / 3
Multiplayer - Yes
PVP - Naw
Quarters spent - 75c

RANK: Burning Hyena

>>680142
Where's the MY OWN CLONE achievement?

Driving off into the sunrise. Nice quest as always Apollo

>>679934
P1: Moonman
P2: Ben Garrison

>>680142
Make out in the backseat